The Headgum Podcast - 231: Best Episode Ever

Episode Date: November 22, 2024

Ding dong the BITCH IS SICK!Anya, Amir, Casey, and producer Sam discuss Geoff's unimportance, vinegary slaws, and Russian surnames on this, the BEST! EPISODE! EVER!» FOLLOW Amir on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amir/» FOLLOW Casey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caseydonahue/» FOLLOW Anya on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.lovemotel/Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

With the $5 meal deal at McDonald's, you pick a McDouble or a McChicken, then get a small fry, a small drink, and a four-piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not a lot of money. Price and participation may vary for a limited time only. This is a Hedgum Original. You know what's crazy is, boys? Ah! Put your phone away. No, put your phone voice. Put your phone away. No, no. Put your phone away. Put your phone away.

This is crazy. The energy in the room is less combative. Well, I gotta find...where's the clapping button? Is it on the other soundboard? There are there is two separate ones. Two separate soundboards. What's that? That's you. That's me. There we go. Hey welcome to the show. This is so good. This is easy. Everyone's recording everything. Yeah, video's recording, audio's recording. Sam is here. Sam is here.

Okay, so to explain to you what's happening. Yeah, and the audience. At once, why not? Yeah, so leave this in, don't cut this out. Jeff fucked up the video again. Last week. Last week. That's when it said Anya forgot to record the video again. Last week. Last week. That's when it said Anya forgot to record the video.

It did, but I wasn't even in the room. So it was- And in fact when I came in- That was his sort of cheeky sort of snide aside to you. When I came in, I said, Jeff, are you recording video? Yeah, which we have on audio. We do. Yeah, and so we have the moment of realization.

Yeah, you can't see his face and the shame, but it happened off camera, and then we were on camera shortly after. And so after that we thought maybe we take Jeff off video as a punishment. We have our lovely new engineer, Sam. Maybe we teach Sam how to do it. Jeff learns his lesson, maybe watch as a pro in action. Even like someone we're just onboarding is kind of better

than someone who's been doing this for a long time. You're talking about live video engineering or like editing the video after the fact? Engineering. Okay. Sam was gonna be the engineer. So like while we're recording, we need somebody other than Jeff.

To just press the record button, really. And I kind of told Jeff we were doing this and obviously he was like, it's all in good fun, it's all good, but like, how do you feel about this? And he was like, that sounds great, let's do it. And then a couple of days later, he was like, I have COVID. Oh, interesting, you think that's related? And so now he's not here.

And we need an episode this week because we don't have enough banked. I see. Which is something I push for a lot. Very nice. And we're always kind of not happening. It's not happening for us. So this is the first episode without Jeff.

Ever? I think so. That's crazy. Isn't that true? I can't believe we've never thought to do that. That's crazy. Yeah. So Casey, Casey's showing Sam how to live edit

and use a soundboard at the same time. This isn't how you'll normally be doing this job is with all these soundboard buttons. Well, Jeff would still be in charge of the soundboard, wouldn't he? Yeah, well, Jeff likes to just have a bunch of levers and buttons that he's pressing at all times.

As we saw last week's episode, he'll just, it doesn't matter if he's recording, he's just like, I gotta be pressing. It's like... That does feel good. Like a kid with ADD, just like, give me a bunch of buttons, put me in the cockpit and let me know which button does what. It's like his fidget spinner is the little switcher.

Yeah, exactly. So do you imagine in the future when Jeff is feeling better, Sam is still here? Or that's all TVD? I was like, I get that ultimately I guess as a supervising producer it's up to me. It was supposed to be like let's just teach Jeff a lesson. Let's show Jeff how it can be done while also onboarding Sam. Yeah I see. To the network. Two for one. Shows. Now it's a three for one because we're recording without Jeff. Sam is still here learning. Yep. But

never met Jeff. Sam have you ever met Jeff? I've not met Jeff. Interesting. Do you know anything about this show? You guys have a similar vibe. So that's good. Yeah, you guys both have long hair. Do you think he could be a replacement? As a host or as an engineer? Both.

Yeah, probably. It seems to be an easy job, and honestly, the less qualified you are, the better. So even if you don't know anything, that's sort of the vibe of the show. My hair position is GEO. Right. Which is crazy, because Jeff qualified you are, the better. So even if you don't know anything, that's sort of the vibe of the show. My hair position is GEO. Right. Which is crazy because Jeff is often like,

I need whatever X amount of time to prepare. Like I'm not, I can't do this last minute episode because I need to prepare. Right. And I'm never really sure. And I know he has like segments, but. But does he really? Because sometimes the segment is to just talk.

It's just a waxing episode. Actually, speaking of segments, can we play the Bond of the Week theme? Oh yeah, one second, here we go. ["Bond of the Week Theme"] Bond of the Week! That's good. Yeah. That's good. We actually learned last time that Casey's a good...

Replacement. ... impersonator. Yes, a serial killer. So maybe... We did all my best ones. Trump? Well, maybe you're Jeff's replacement. Trump?

We love it, folks, don't we? Yes. Yes. And you did Pacino. It's gonna be great. You did Pacino. It's gonna be great. Now do it as Jeff. It's gonna be great. That's good.

That's really nasal. you're a child. So it's Jeff as Trump. Yeah. As Pacino. What was the one you did earlier today? Oh, you did, you did. I did an impression? RFK doing a JFK quote.

No, I did. That was a Slack message. Yeah, but I want to hear it. I didn't do the impression. Oh, I'll hear it. I didn't really do a great RFK. But, but, but I want I didn't do the impression. I don't really do a great RFK It's basically let's do the quote so the cool The quote which was pretty fucking clever. Have you known the context?

Which is Jeff's name and slack is Brown Jordan spell in the context, which is Jeff's name in Slack is Brown Jordan, spelled G-E-O-R. Cause you have to know that. Right, from a couple episodes back, he kept talking about this furniture company, Brown Jordan. So he made his name on Slack, Brown G-E-O-R-D-A-N. Of course.

So you then refer to him as Brown, just Brown. Like, hey Brown, Brown has COVID. It's his first name on Slack. Yeah, Brown has COVID, blah, blah, blah. We can't have Brown today. You guys want to record without Brown. And then, and then we were like, maybe we can do Jeff, AKA Brown, a favor

by recording without him. Cause then he doesn't have to like, muster the energy to record and host the show while he's sick because we need something for Friday, today's Monday. So then I said instead of as a JFK voice, I said in an RFK voice, ask not what Brown can do for you, ask what you could do for Brown, which is the UPS slogan mixed with a JFK quote. What can Brown do for you? Wow. You didn't get that level to it. No. What can Brown do for you? Wow. You didn't get that level to it.

No. Casey, did you get that? I did get it, yeah. Yeah, okay. What could Brown do for you? That's really good. Maybe it did trigger some part of your brain, you're like, yeah, this doesn't make sense.

But can you do it for us in the RFK voice? That's what I've been waiting for, which I know is unfair as a person who I would never do a root impression on the record. So I can't quite do an RFK voice, but recently I did figure out that I do a very good Bernie Sanders Let's hear it. Okay, so I'll preface this with I can't talk forever, but I can do like a few Choice things that he does sound like and you can give me something like okay, Bernie Sanders is and then I'll try to do it okay Bernie Sanders is here on the headgun podcast okay look ah you got two options when you're doing the voice okay option number one you talk very syncopado that's one number two that's all I got

okay and that's really good it It always starts with, okay, look, basically number one, that's number one, number two. And then he's always listing stuff. That's pretty good. I think you need to drop it down. You need to drop it down. Drop it down to two. Somewhere down there. You have to do it a little bit down there. A little slower. I would say a little antisemitic when Casey does it. Exactly. Which is why I shouldn't do the RFK voice. You can only impersonate, number one, you can only impersonate voices of the religion that you're impersonating. That's number one. Number two. Okay, look like that. Yeah, I think you can impersonate the Kennedys for the record.

Really? Yeah, I'm going to impersonate the Kennedys for the record, but that's fine. I'm gonna give you a carte blanche. Carte blanche from Golden Girls. Which brings me to my Bond of the Week, which is Bernie Sanders. No way. Bondy Sanders. He's a sprightly 81 and feeling really good. I thought he was older, no? I think he just appears older, but his mentals are there.

I think he's actually Trump's age. I think he's 78. Don't double verify that. I'm going to verify. Yeah, I think he is older because of the talk of him running three years older than him. Yeah. Right, right, right.

He'd be too old. Danny DeVito turns 80 today. I saw him. I was out to older than him. Yeah. Right, right, right. He'd be too old. Danny DeVito turns 80 today. Whoa. I saw him. Hey, hey, hey. Happy birthday, Danny. I was out to dinner with him the other day. He wasn't with me, but I was there and he was there. Where? Kismet, down the street. Wow, DeVito. I watched him walk by

the restaurant and then an employee went to go out and get him, but he was like so far away. And then he kind of, I out and get him, but he was like so far away. And then he kind of, I watched him wander back and then realized he needed to go inside. He's the one who seems like he's not 80 years old. He seems like he's still like 60.

He's like yelling and active and moving fast. Bernie is 83. Wow, way older than that. Okay, I was way off. 83, holy smokes. That could be Bond of the Week. Yeah, I still want to be Bond of the Week. More like let down of the week, am I right?

Why? Why? Oh, because he constantly moves to the center even though he shouldn't. Oh, you're disappointed in Bernie is what you mean. Not that he would be disappointing his bond. Yeah. Okay, got it. I know, I think he would kill it as Bond, but I think he's disappointing me as a senator. I see, for a state that you don't live in.

Right, but he's like, he's like, he's like me as a senator. I see. For a state that you don't live in. Right but he's like he like is like working across the aisle in ways that I think he doesn't have to. He can be like the one guy that doesn't but he refuses to. Okay. Who's your bond? Danny DeVito. That's awesome. Let's see him in there. A little tiny bond. A bunch of octogenarian bond suggestions today. That would be cool. An old Bond. What's her name? Is it in it? Helen Mirren.

Yeah. I thought Judi Dench was in it. Oh, maybe. Yeah, I think it's Judi Dench. Helen Mirren's in Mission Impossible? I don't think so. That's fine. Bond of the week, Casey?

I'm trying to think of an old person that would be a good Bond of the week. Just stay in on the theme. Let's go with Samuel L. Jackson. Wow, how old is he? He's older than you think. Really? I would say 69. Oh, older than that. Yeah. Really? Oh, how old is he? He's older than you think. Really? I would say 69. Oh, older than that.

Yeah. Really? Oh, he's in his seventies. I wanna say pushing 80. Jeez Louise, I don't think so. 75. Whoa, yeah. Right in the middle. Hey, he's about to start pushing 80.

Yeah. He's getting ready to start pushing. He's five years from pushing 80, but still 75. That's a really nice 75. Yeah. Granted, I haven't seen him in a long time, but he seems to be doing great. I see him in Capital One ads and he seems

like he's still kicking and screaming. Yeah. Yeah. I guess not all 78 to 85 year olds are created equals what we're learning today. Yeah, but it's also like not really, I saw a tweet the other day about how like, how good Anthony Kiedis looks for his age and he did a lot

of things that were bad for his body. He's 78, right? He's like 60. No. Yes. Kiedis. Yes. He's 60 and he's also like dating a teenager Let's not get into age gap discourse because I will get cancelled Don't let's not. You love Red Hot. You love the Red Hot Chili Brothers. Oh, right, sorry. Yeah, my friend calls them the Red Hot Chili Brothers, which I think is funny.

It's like Mario Brothers. Anna. You know Anna, Sam. Sam and I are old friends. Oh, is that how Sam got connected through you? Mm-hmm. I haven't actually known Sam since he was a teen. Wow. That's cool. He was a teen. Wow that's cool. Oh my god. And then 20 years later you get to shadow Casey as he engineers this podcast. So Sam this episode seems kind of disjointed but this is if anything more cohesive than an actual episode of the Headgum Podcast. Well, I wasn't listening.

Oh, okay. So you're caught up. Have you? Yeah, just, yeah. I listened to last week's episode. In preparation for this. That's actually doing your homework and that's why you're such a good employee. Yeah.

But I will say I do feel more of the weight of the uncomfortableness because Jeff isn't here. I know. Jeff usually acts as like an emotional shield for us that when something isn't going well, I don't feel ashamed. Because you can just push on to him. Yeah, I'm like, this is Jeff's fault. But now, like, when things are stilted, I feel like personally responsible a little bit.

There is like this like warm positivity in the... this is the positivity episode. Yeah. Like usually I feel very... I'm like this. Mm-hmm. Like I'm very like waiting for someone to season things. I do constantly feel like if I'm on the show, it takes me a second to get into it because I'm like, what is he gonna do?

What angle is he coming from? Who's he coming for today? Is it me or is it my neighbor? And I hope it's my neighbor and I'm gonna pile on. No, we support each other, but it's still very like, aggressive in a way that I can't. It's always like a one on three, two on two, and that dynamic is constantly shifting throughout the show. Which is actually the one good thing about the show.

Yes. That's kind of cool to me. It's sort of survivor-esque. We're like making many alliances every minute. Right. I will say, I think I might have even said this on the show is like, I don't obviously don't guest on shows very often. I'm usually behind the desk, but when the Doughboys asked me to be

on a Doughboys Patreon episode, I like came in, like I was like, I'm really nervous. I was like, I'm really on edge. When was that? It's out this week. It's out this week coincidentally. When did you record it? Months ago.

No idea what I said. I was a different person then. What was, you browned out, you brown Jordaned out. What was the topic? It was a one hour episode. So I'd gotten that timer that was supposed to count up, but it only counted down, you know, that's on my desk now. And so we had the idea that we would... Oh yeah, I totally forgot that's what we did. We would, we like started at an hour and counted down and when it got to zero the episode was over.

Okay, so that's just how they timed the episode. I was curious as to what the episode was about. That was just kind of, and then they just, we just talked. It's kind of a wax episode. Which was interesting. Interesting, because I was like, oh, everyone's being so nice to me.

Yeah. And they're still being funny. It felt like they had to go on podcasts, but positive. It was just like a regular podcast, just like every other podcast. I was like, right, it's not always scary to be a guest on a podcast. It's actually usually going well.

That's just this and the Hollywood handbook, guys. Yeah. You should go on Hollywood handbook now to offset the good juju that you felt during Doughboys. I will never do that okay. Yeah that's okay. Why don't they start the countdown at 30 minutes? No I went on for five minutes once and I wanted to kill myself. Great show. I'm just I'm not an improviser. I can't hold it. Like, I think they called me in. It's a 60 minute bit. They called me in for a five minute thing and the two guests were Clea Duval and Jason Vanzoukas. And I was like, well, I'm not, I'm not really sure what my role is here. And I didn't know how to play it. And I was like, I have to go back to work.

I usually default to try to just be the straight man and be like, what do you guys want? You tell me. And then I feel like like uh supporting their characters by not doing a character at all. Yeah I definitely wasn't doing a character. How did you feel when David Cross brought you on stage during his live show and talked about your what you were wearing? It was very nice a nice thing for him to have done that I think he was trying to be nice and cool yeah and I like David I do think there was no to be nice and cool. And I like David. I do think there was no joke and people, and he's kind of always doing a bit. And I think he was being earnest. And I think he didn't know what to do with that. Tim Heidecker had

no idea what was going on or why I was there. And the audience was like waiting for like a joke, like something. And I was extremely uncomfortable. But it was fun. It was just funny because I was like, he's being earnest, but I know he does not know where this is gonna go. And then he like said something mean about my shoes, which my mom brings up constantly. She's like, you know that guy that said the thing about your shoes.

Did she listen to the podcast or did you send her that part? I sent her the whole thing because she asked about it. Yeah. Cool. And so now she hates David Cross, but I still am on Good friends. Yeah, no problems. David Cross interviewing your mom could be a good episode My mom is one of the funniest people to live. Is her last name also kind of Skye? Yeah, she just it's a long story, but she just goes by Konevsky. Hmm. It's like a Russian

Yeah, it's not. You adjust your last name based on where you are in the family or something. It's actually based on your gender But you and your mother I want to know but she was like, let's be normal. Let's be American We all have the same last name and then a lot of my paperwork had the other one And so I've just always gone with the other one Is that interesting and now you just go by Anya Zero. And now, yeah, kind of government-wise, that's what I do. Yeah. Cool. Which Sam doesn't even...

I don't even know how that started. Okay. Yeah. That's right. That's usually when this happens. No, usually what would have happened here is that... Oh shit. I thought if I pressed it again it would stop, but it just starts it over.

Yeah. How do I get out of here? We're learning on the fly. There we go. There we go. I thought what would have happened on a regular episode is that Jeff would have played that sound bite of shut the fuck up your time for talking is over. Oh yeah.

Because I've just talked for so long. Wait, I saw that one. Here it is. You've reached your limit on talking. Shut the fuck up. The wrap it up. Yeah. He would have done that for sure. Well, I've got something to get to here.

Huh? What? What? What? Sorry, what? Sorry, what? He needs a commercial break. Oh.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I don't think this can. Oh, we're not recording, actually. Finally, someone who fully understands the plight of Brown Jordan. This is, for this to be Brown Jordan's like indication would be a whole other thing. We are recording but the producer camera got unplugged somehow. Okay.

But to Jeff's defense, it does go to show you that there's a lot of moving pieces to do that and hosting is kind of a no. Casey noticed right away though. Yeah. No, it's okay hosting is kind of a no can't you notice right away though yeah no yeah see I know immediately immediately saw that this camera was off yeah I don't know if any of this is staying in the episode people love the live the peak behind the curtain sorry I don't know how to stop it except pressing the other button.

Anyway, I'm trying to be Jeff for a minute here. No, I love it. Trying to be Jeff on the show. Okay. That's good. And it's time to get into a segment. Called? Okay. Sla or nah. No, no way, dude.

This was pitched earlier and I said, that's actually really good. I was telling Jeff, it's really easy to come up with these segments, just do slaw or not and look at pictures of coleslaw. Did you do it? No, give me a second. He's gonna, this is another thing Jeff does which is sort of live produce a segment instead of prepare for it.

Like now Casey's Google image searching. Which is kind of exciting in its own way. Yeah. It's either coleslaw or it's something completely not coleslaw or is it like stuff that looks like coleslaw? Maybe it's the type of, cause sometimes there's like broccoli slaw. We're gonna figure it out as we go. There's broccoli slaw, there's.

Oh, different types of slaw. Coleslaw. Yeah. Screen record it. Slaw, a whole slaw. Screen record it. All right. Let's see, what's the best way we could do this? Honestly, an episode that's mostly us sitting in silence

would be so nice. Yeah, I'm gonna go with slaw. This one's gotta be slaw. Sam, when you're editing, just Google coleslaw and put that in. Would any of you eat this slaw or not? Oh! Eat it? This is good.

This is good. We're never asked our opinion. How is that any better than image? It's not. Yeah, but at least it's faster. Or like we get to, it feels more possible to answer. Yeah, and it's also like more listenable. Like if usually the visual stuff doesn't work

if you're just listening to the show. And even if you're watching, you're looking at people look at two different types of white goop and they have to say if it's ranch or not. That's not great. So this, I get to tell you what I think about these different kinds of slaw. They all look good to me.

Yeah, a lot of them look like Chinese chicken salads. Is that safe to say? They look like slaw to me, I'm gonna be honest. They look like slaw to me. I'm gonna be slaw-nist. So here's a question, yeah Vinegar or mayo a slaw. Oh None I hate all slaw you hate slaw and this was your segment get it off my plate

You know what any slaw I'm not on slaw on a sandwich Like a turkey sandwich with slaw on it, that's good. And Swiss. Yeah, kind of sweet. Sometimes, like I wouldn't want it to be the vinegary one. Like, slaw and a sandwich, if it's vinegary, I feel like it wets everything down. I'm starting to, the bread's getting soggy.

It's more of a mess. And it's stressing me out. and I'm enjoying the sandwich less because of this. But it's a nice compliment to salty barbecue too. It's a nice way to just separate the bites a palate cleanser I think. I mean, yeah, not to really out myself as extremely Slavic. Nice. But I fucking love slaw.

I love cabbage in any form and slaw is like kind of actually number one. I don't like cooked cabbage that much. So sometimes cabbage is purple and sometimes it's green. Is that how it works? Yeah, that is how it works. So like coleslaw can be purple or green.

Yeah. And you just don't know until it arrives. There's no like indication. I don't think they tell you. Is there any other food that's like, could be so vastly aesthetically different? But if they're like potatoes, they never like, here's purple mashed potatoes.

It would say purple mashed potatoes. Well, you don't know if they're gonna use red bliss or regular, sometimes they tell you, sometimes they don't. Mashed red potatoes? You've never had mashed red bliss potatoes? No, and I've never been served that at a restaurant. That's crazy. Sight unseen. They tell you the color. With sly it could be anything. I know it can be one of two things.

Yeah, but still purple or green. Those are named two more diametrically opposed colors than that. Maybe red and fucking white. Yeah, maybe. Maybe. Kind of like potatoes. Oh yeah. Casey commercial break. I'm looking for the button. I can't find it. Are you learning a lot? Sam's actually learning. He's becoming the number by being in this room. Oh yeah. We're back. Oh Remember? Yeah. Yeah. Wow! That one. What's that? That was the Casey, what's that? I know, you're still lucky you got your own sound. My favorite position is GEO.

I know that one. My favorite position is GEO. Yeah. Who's that? I think that's Kat. I thought it was you. I think it's Kat going. Sounds like me.

Oh, that makes more sense. Yeah. Cause that sounds like something she would say. My favorite position is GEO. Oh, what makes more sense. Cause that sounds like something she would say. My favorite position is GEO. Oh, what's another one? What else, what else? What else? Stretch, stretch.

Oh, the... Pfft. Dude. That one sucks. There's one here called Goofy A Car Horn. Oh yeah? We don't use that one very often. It's so loud. It goes up forever.

Oh and there's also a... I WANT A CARTEL IN THE GROUND! That's a good one. This is killing me best of whenever. Do more. Do more. Do more. I'm gonna miss Jeff. He's not dead, I don't think. Yeah, I guess that's cool too. He was feeling better.

I actually don't want to joke about that. Did he say he was feeling better? He did. That's good. When someone gets COVID, do you still ask them how they got it? Like, are you still interested in that kind of thing? Or is it sort of like... He could have gone anywhere, anytime. Yeah, everyone's sort of living their lives at this point. Which is wrong, but...

Do do do do do do do do do do do do! Any other classics that we're forgetting? Casey, what do you see? What's that? Any other classics we're forgetting? Oh my god, he just said his own... What's that? Uh... Correct! That was good. What are... there's so many on there.

Major Key Alert! That one's huge. You know, it is kind of difficult to try and press all these buttons at the same time and run the show and also teach Sam how to do it. So today's major key alert is believe in yourself. Because ultimately it is kind of easy. Do you have a newfound appreciation for Jeff or a newfound displeasure for him?

Wow, good question. Yeah, it's a good question because appreciation, I don't know if that's ever the right word to use for Jeff. You know what I mean? Yeah, you don't want to give him the benefit of the doubt. And it's not like we don't have sympathy for Jeff. We always have sympathy for him. Yeah.

But at the same time, you're like, you can one, ask for help, two, figure it out. You could get in 10 minutes earlier. Yeah, get in a little earlier. I just found a whole bunch of other buttons. Oh my God. I bet the throw to break is right in there. Oh, let's see, let's see.

You guys can keep podcasting. All right, and that's no problem. I kind of wasn't sure. I didn't want to interrupt the sound effect. Yeah. The metal hitting the thing sure. Are there anything else that comes to mind? I didn't want to interrupt the sound effect. Yeah. The metal hitting the thing. Isn't there a loud fart?

Oh, there is. I don't like that one. I didn't like the fart. The fart in an empty room. Don't tell Sam about that one. It's fine. Farting is totally natural. I'm not trying.

I do have something to say. About farting? And it is antagonistic. Okay. Your shoes have a hole in them. Yeah, I've been playing tennis in these Ultra Boosts and they get like torn to shreds and I'm due for a new pair, but yeah. Surely you could afford a new one. Yeah, I can afford it. It's just a laziness thing. It's like, okay, I got to go down, go to Adidas, figuring out which one I want, but I am due for a new one.

Just get the same ones. They look nice. I do, all my shoes are this type of shoe, the Ultra Boost, they're just in different shapes and sizes. Different sizes? I found the metal pipe. That's huge. Wait, this we need to explore. Same size, yeah, same size, different color varieties. Okay, because I was like, I thought that was a cool thing.

This is my loudest version of them. You wear bigger shoes than others. I'm sorry about that. That's okay, it's gonna happen. I only wear Adidas also. Let's see. For sneakers. Oh, I'm just gonna, like I'm looking at your.

No, these are platform Crocs, but sneakers I only wear Adidas because I'm Slavic, which we've said already, Which is why I like cabbage. And potatoes. Do any of you have a segment we could do? Jesus. Interesting. I kind of liked a mere impersonating sound effects. That was a cool thing.

Yeah, that was good. I've been doing a lot of impressions on the show between the Bernie and the every sound effects so far. Do you have anything you need? Do you have druthers you need to get out? Mmm, druthers? Oh to get out? Druthers? Oh, um. We don't know what music he plays for that though. This one's very specific, but the other day, my car navigation was doing that thing in LA

where it tells you to get off the highway and it's like, actually nevermind, get back on the highway. It's like, it's telling you to get off on the exit lane and stay on the highway. It's not, instead of just telling you to like maintain on the 10 east, it'll be like get off at Hoover. And then when it splits off into getting off and getting back on, it's like get back on.

So it's like constantly having me dodge in and out of lanes. I'm like, I'm just staying on the 10. And there's no way to find out what the next few steps will be on my GPS because it's just the actual map part. So it shows me the next move, which is to fake get off and then get back on. At one point it had me fully getting off the highway

only to get back on the highway. Has that ever happened to you guys? Yeah. That's insane. And the name of this segment is, drive or thrive? That's good. I guess thrive.

But like, I wish there was an option to be like, if I'm just staying on the fucking highway, I don't need to shave off seconds at a time by Veering off and getting off the highway and then getting back on the highway because it's like micro Differences in time. I'm gonna be making that up and just staying in the lane that I'm already in Which which app is doing this to you? This one was Google Maps Interesting, But it is. Google Maps. There you go.

But I don't ever drive on the 10, I guess. I don't really know where the 10 is. I don't even know if it's the 10 specifically. It's just like LA highways. This one goes east-west, right? Yeah, it goes from here to Santa Monica, basically. Yeah, I don't go there. I kind of go Eagle Rock to Silver Lake and back.

But it sometimes does that on the 101 downtown, where it's like, you know, where it's like all downtown exits. Third, fourth street. That's very stressful. I don't like it over there. And then it goes, so it'll be like Google Maps, like yes, all downtown exits. So I'm like fearing off. It's like, okay, great, back on the highway. I'm like, I was already on the highway. That's crazy. And you told me to fucking get off the highway. It's crazy. They think that the one lane to the right is faster for some reason. I have a question. So I wasn't here for the original Dreaders, which I think was Marika's. Yes. But I feel like every time we do it here,

it's always car related. Is that on purpose? Well, I've only done one other Druthers before, and it was car related. And then Casey's was car related as well. Yeah, probably. If I had to guess what my Druthers were. It was car related. I don't remember what it was. But I remember thinking then, I suppose Druthers. It was car related, I don't remember what it was. But I remember thinking then, I suppose druthers have to be about cars. But then I got to have my druthers, which was about the paint color of the walls.

Or it wasn't about that actually, it was about everyone giving me feedback about the studio redecoration that I didn't ask for. Yeah, so how does that work when you decide to redecorate the studio? Is it like, I think this is wrong and I'm gonna do it, or you get feedback? I think this is wrong and I'm going to do it, or you get feedback? I think this is wrong and I'm going to do it.

I certainly don't think that. Oh, you mean everything else? It was wrong? Yeah, or how do you make adjustments to the studio? Is it all inside your head, or are you getting feedback from other people? We have like a team. Casey and I are a team. Yeah, Anja and I talk about it.

So is there anything right now? We bring in Allie and Marika. Oh, interesting. Katie, perhaps. Yeah. And then is there anything that you think is next in terms of the studio as it is right now?

I don't have a design eye, so I'm not alluding to anything. Yeah, I have a long wish list of things, and it's like, you know, we try to save up studio money for things we need to replace these lights and stuff, but we have like our little every once in a while we go okay like let's make some fun additions to the studio let's get some new props let's get some new lamps something like that. And is it just to refresh for the fun of it or is it like stuff that you think could be better? There is a long list of things I think

could be better and here's the thing I don't need anyone's feedback on that. Interesting. Well that's not true I would don't need anyone's feedback on that. Interesting. Well, that's not true. I would be open to hearing from people. No, that's not true. I take it back. I don't wanna hear anything. It's not that I'm not open to other people's opinions. I just don't think.

What I learned actually in redesigning these studios with Casey was that you can't design by committee. I think I said this. Cause everybody has a different opinion. So it's like, these are 10 different opinions. Honestly, what I do sometimes is ask the person who's most likely to complain. Because then it's like that person is involved. And now it's like, okay, I've limited that person's complaint. And here's the thing, I would have talked to Jeff about it if he was being sincere. And if it wasn't the day that

we were painting, like the paint was here, the painters were here, the furniture was moved out, we were painting and he was like, I don't know about this color and I thought the trains already left the station like we're doing this Okay, another interior design question. Great. How is the TV that I gave you holding up in your house? It's great. It's huge That's great. Uh You said it was too big for the space. Yeah, we moved some stuff around. And now it fits the space fine enough. Yeah, because like, we will do anything for the big TV, you know, that's kind of how some men operate. Yeah. Not all men, but some men operate that way.

Hashtag them all men. Yeah. Do you mount or did you put on the cabinet? Put on. Are you guys mounters or putter oners? I put it on... Stand. I put it on... Stand. I put it on the stand on top of the media console.

Yep. Because why am I going to drill another hole in the wall that I'm renting? Yeah, we're renters. Can't be mounting when you're renting. You can be, but it's a risk. Because it could go down. Although, how do you guys feel about the need to cover up the TV? Do you feel that that's important? Well, that's why I got a frame TV which is

why I was able to give you my last TV. The TV as art makes it so I don't have to cover it up. I don't cover it up because I never have anybody over. It's my fortress of solitude. Zero people? My parents when they came to visit they came over but I never host. Was there a sound effect that we missed? I switched cameras. I can't tell if you switched to the close-up of yourself doing this or me whatever face I was just making. Yeah have I ever invited any of you over? No I've never invited you over. I've been to your apartment because I was friends with your old roommate. Same apartment, right?

That's true, that's true. And even then, I wasn't hanging out with you. That's right. I wasn't your roommate. What? This is crazy. We all have separate kind of lines crossing in friendship history. That's crazy.

That's true. Interesting. And Casey and I worked together like in 2005. 2008. 2008. 2008. Unrelated to my middle school friend who then ended up living with Casey. Wow. Small world. I like that. It really is. And I like that. This is the positivity episode. I like when it's a small world and all the same people know each other. It's nice. It's comforting.

What do you think of the title idea I had for this episode? Best episode ever, volume one. Yeah, well, just best episode ever one. I think that's good, and the fans will love that. I don't know how Jeff's gonna feel about this one. We're definitely like laughing less, like there's less bits, and I think it's good that we leave room for that so that he still feels like he's needed here.

We're kind of just having a nice time talking. I can already see the comments in my mind's eye on YouTube, which are like the sarcastic ones will be like, finally an episode without Jeff, this is amazing, this is the best episode ever. There's no Jeff, but also no Marika. Yeah, exactly. And then some people will be like, in all honesty, you do kind of miss Jeff, like I appreciate the fact that he's there and now like that he's gone. I never, you know, we took it for granted, we don't know what it's got till it's gone. Right and what if he's never coming back? Both of them are right That's the that's the beautiful part about democracy like and then there's gonna be a couple mean ones

Yeah, it'll be mean while these people are so boring. Yeah, I can't believe they get don't Adult acne on the pod. Suddenly Jeff Scott and we talk about our most vulnerable. Like, no, no. I was just feeling comfortable. We can all have one zit and it doesn't have to be acne, right?

Or is acne literally one zit? Square rectangle kind of thing, I think. Yeah, all zits are acne, but all acne is a zit for sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Sam, all zits are acting, but all actors are zits for sure. Sure? Sure. Sure. Sam, what do you think? Yes!

Yes! Yes! What? It is loud. I think the title should be Cabbage Canefskaya. Oh! No! From Onion Canefskaya to Cabbage Canefskaya.

I actually feel bullied by both of those. You can pick up eating. That was easy. No, no, that's fine. That's kind of what we expect from the producer. What about Onion Cabbage Sky? There's something there for sure. We're definitely punching it up.

Onion doesn't not belong in coleslaw. Did I tell that story last time? Is that why? I don't even remember that. Did I tell the story about my friend who called me onion? Yes. Yeah. Probably why. Yeah, that'll happen. I didn't know I'd said even remember that. Did I tell the story about my friend who called me onion? Yes. Yeah, probably why.

Yeah, that'll happen. I didn't know I'd said that out loud. That's good stuff. That's what actually I remember from my dough boys episode is that they kept asking me about like food things and every one of them, I kind of like led back to some kind of food related trauma. I was like, yeah, one time when I was little,

I cried into McDonald's. Like it was like constant. Every, they try to like talk about food in general and I was bringing it to a very dark place. So if you subscribe to the Doughboy's Patreon, you get to hear that. That's this week. So it's out by the time people listen to this.

What do you guys think of calling Jeff as a segment? We can call him after the episode. High risk, high reward, cause he might not pick up. I think he, well, he knows this is happening. That's same. But he doesn't know how, we don't know about the episode. Yeah. High risk, high reward, because he might not pick up. I think he, well, he knows this is happening. That's same. And he doesn't know how, we don't know how sick he is, maybe he's resting or something. Do you think I should, you think I should text first?

No, I think you should just send him a FaceTime. Cause if you text, there's a chance he might not see it for an hour. You think FaceTime, not call? Yeah, straight to FaceTime. He answers my texts, but that's cause he scared of me. Quickly? Yeah. Oh, I guess he could text. But we might as well go straight to FaceTime. He answers my texts, but that's because he's scared of me. Quickly? Yeah. Oh, I guess you could text. But we might as well go straight to FaceTime.

FaceTime, okay. Let's get the... Yeah, put it really close to them. Yeah, that's perfect. You can move your head. Oh, I should move my head. He's gonna ignore. The FaceTime's kind of a big commitment. Like what if he's like in bed like... That's fine. We don't have to see him. We just have to hear him. But you said FaceTime. Yeah, yeah. Just for extra instant joy. We FaceTimed him during our Chicago show. He

picked up. Oh, that's cool. How was that? It was good. Yeah, he's not doing it. Should we record a video and send it to him? Okay. Hey Jeff, Amir here. We're really struggling. We had no idea how difficult creating the show is.

Psych! Best episode ever! best episode ever best episode ever best episode ever nobody else enjoyed it that was easy that was easy is another good one oh we have the that was easy button out there i could have brought it in we need more props i think more nothing more to

that was easy is a good one. It's like a live soundboard Yeah That was my best idea for a second now. I'm sort of at a loss Well, we are getting towards the end of the episode Wow and There's got to be something there's got to be something else. There's got to be something else There's got to be a game or a number if Jeff calls back Will your phone ring? He's not gonna call back. I'd hate for it to be on silent mode. I'll let him know what we're doing. Okay. We really need you. Should I just read his text to me?

Is that a good segment? Yeah. I'm sure it would be totally okay with that. All right. This next segment is called Jeff's Tefs. This might be his text to me. That's good. Jack's Tefs.

Oh, the dial up. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, tell us what he texts you Happy birthday. That was on my birthday. That's nice. Yeah Got him 1 p.m. Works great exclamation point. Okay, we were hoping for something Yeah, we I think we all thought that you were having some kind of conversation with him Sounds like are you almost ready? That was when I was late last week. Mm-hmm

with him. It just sounds like... Are you almost ready? That was when I was late last week. Oh, here's one. That's it? Jeff texted me the day after we FaceTimed him during the live show. Okay, great. See, he doesn't do bits with me and this is going to be a bit. This is going to be funny. So he texts me out of the blue. Yeah, he's definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel. He called me during a live show, LOL, for a show called Segments, and they seem to be devoid of them. And I said, it's Amir. And he goes, Cohen, I know, I'm texting you. And I said,

Blumenfeld. And he said, dot, dot, dot. Hey, man, great show. Pretty good bit. That's really good. Why doesn't he do bits with me? I think he doesn't trust you to joke along. and he thinks that you'll just read his texts on camera instead. Here's another one. Hey do you think S.E. Cupp is zombie? Which is something he's tweeted before. What's S.E. Cupp? Yeah she's a New York Times columnist. Huh, wonder if she'll cover the show. I'm back in LA. It's hard to kind of realize that my problems follow me wherever I go. New York, LA, it's all dot dot dot.

Isolated and dumb me. I'm actually the loneliest when I'm around others if you care to know. What did you respond? I said just start editing the podcast because he was late on editing this podcast. And he goes, I did, I am. What else do we got? Those kind of come out of the blue? Yeah, those come out of the blue.

Okay. And sometimes I'll text him out of the blue too. For example, on November 1st, Friday, I said, the one mildly interesting thing about you is that you've been living in New York and that's coming to an end by sucker. Then on the second I said bump because he did not respond. And he said, oh yeah, sorry, I'm having a ton of fun. What's up? And I said, fuck. Do you guys ever text earnestly about anything? No.

Have you ever talked earnestly about anything? Always a bit. Yeah. That's exhausting. That's a lot of work. In a way, in a way, but also opening up to somebody is a lot of work. So, you know, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. Um, here's one. Plugs. Oh, right! I'm Bloomenfeld on Instagram. Oh my god, you just remembered. Radio Free Anya on Instagram. What do I need a plug? Definitely some shows coming out soon and you should listen to them slash watch them. Sam, plugs? You want to do your own plugs? Is your band of any

shows coming up? Yeah we got one on the 15th of December at Genghis Kowen. That's pretty good. A band's called Guk. G-U-K? G-U-C-K. Great. You know who's a big fan? Nick Weigert. I know, I gotta share this single with him actually. Yeah.

Did he know the band before he started? No, Sam engineered some Get Played episodes and then Weigert immediately looked up Guk and was like, this is my stuff. Wow. Did a deep dive, it was cool. That's was like, this is my stuff. Wow. Yeah. Did a deep dive. It was cool. That's nice. Good guy Weiger.

Yeah. What's your band's handle? At Guk Band. And now what's your hand's bandle? At Buck Gand. Good man. That's really good. You're hired.

Yeah. Casey Plugs? Go to casymakesmovies.com, watch some movies that I've made. Good stuff. And... Oh, my Venmo, Anya Konevskaia. And Anya's Venmo. I'm saving up for a house.

And you're going to do it one Venmo at a time? It's been working. Really? Yeah, I've got enough for one 1,000th of a thousand payment. It's still $2,900. That's really good. Yeah. Here's a request for people listening.

Kind of as a fun jab slash aside, refresh this page if you're watching on YouTube and that'll artificially inflate the numbers so that when people look for the most watched episode of the Headcombs podcast, it's this one. Definitely send this one to all your friends. Yeah. But also drop some Get Well Soon's Jeff in the chat. Yeah, I'm sure it'll be fine by Friday but that couldn't be better. That'd be nice. But really refresh. I don't think he was super excited for us to do this without him. It seemed like he was hurt. Yeah, he was like, give it a shot but

we'll see what happens. So I guess. The show must go on. Yeah, he was like, give it a shot, but we'll see what happens. So I guess- Well, the show must go on. Yeah, what's the alternative? Not having an episode at all? That'd be worse. Instead, what we have is the best episode. Best episode ever. Ever. Best episode ever. And no one is joining us.

No, you're doing it. Best episode ever. That was easy. That was easy. That was easy. That was easy. I think we probably should do like five or ten more minutes honestly. I think I called it too early. Shortest episode ever? That's really hard to come back from. You're gonna cut this I'm sure. Oh that's the end of the episode.

That was a HidGum original. now on Head Gum. It's the very first podcast for and about Italian Americans. That's right. Well, if you're not Italian American, you can listen to, I guess. I suppose we can let you in, cut you a deal. We're talking about all sorts of crazy topics on this. Who's a better cook, Nana or Mama? Who you got in that fight, Nana or Mama? I mean, I can't say bad about no, no, no, she smacked me across head. We got some great guests on the show. We got Wayne Diamond. We got Edie Modica. We got Mike Hanford.

And our wife, Sevril. So subscribe to Chicken Parmesan on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes drop every Thursday.