The Headgum Podcast - 243: Iractor (w/ Business Casual!)

Episode Date: February 21, 2025

Studio G is packed to the gills as Amir, Anya, and Casey join Geoff to welcome Business Casual (Jeremy Elder, Hunter Saling, Cory Lane). They discuss Geoff’s outfit, Hunter’s Grunder, replacing End Racism in End Zones, before playing Two Lies and a Stye, and Headgum Podcast Superlatives: Business Casual edition. » FOLLOW Jeremy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremyelderr/» FOLLOW Cory on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/corypeterlane/» FOLLOW Hunter on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/idealstepdad/» FOLLOW Geoff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geoffreyjames/» FOLLOW Amir on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amir/» FOLLOW Casey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caseydonahue/» FOLLOW Anya on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radiofreeanya/Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HITGUM original. Are you ready to write? I'm sure. I'm sure. Save it, save it. Yeah. But it's like... Why do you think I'm sitting here? Hang on, they're fighting.

Jesus. Jesus, that was awesome. I hate this new Jeff. I think he's awesome. Why's everybody laughing? Because you sort of... I didn't snap. That was fun. Let's just get into the goddamn episode, right?

I can't even see you. You're so buried back there behind all the equipment. That's what happens in Studio G! There's a bunch of tech. I added a light. Alright, so we look better on camera. I think you're just wearing rose-colored glasses. Nice! Really good. And a blue-colored jumpsuit. We have three guests in the studio. We haven't had this many at once since the 200th episode.

And you want to start it off with a pun like that? Oh, it's the 200th episode? No. Well, thank you for having us. Thank you for having us. It's a big honor to be here. Please welcome to the show, Business Casual. We've got Corey Lane, who's been on the show before.

We've got Hunter Selling and Jeremy... I wanna say Wiser. Not close, really close. Thank you. You could've practiced that. Elder. Yeah. Is that true? Elder?

It is Jeremy Elder. Cool. That's the whole thing. Yeah. Respect your... Elder. Jeremy. Jeremy. What do you mean?

Nothing. How'd you say my last name? Is it not S selling? It's sailing I've never said it out loud and that's okay. We're a little bit closer now, buddy That's cool, but you guys are you guys do make up the sketch group that is known as business casual Yeah, do you want to plug that up top or yeah? It's the perfect time for you to be on the show Yeah, yeah, no, you do plug you plugs up top. Yeah We do everything a little different every episode like Like today we didn't start the episode on time.

That's a little different than normal. But usually it's your fault. Anya was very nice. She sacrificed her headphones for me so I can so I could have headphones. So thank you. Do you yell at Anya before every episode? I'm not yelling at Anya. It's actually crazy how much louder he is when I'm sitting right next to him. That's because I have to scream so that... No, they can hear you. We can hear you. Can you hear me?

Sailing. That's cool. And like, do you generally... Come sail away, come sail away. Sail away. Is it just like an Anya thing or is it like a woman? Because there's no other women in the room or that work here.

So do you yell at women or just Anya? Anya and I have a very special relationship. That didn't answer the question. You're dodging the question. You're dodging the question. The zeros. I didn't want, yeah. First of all, her nickname is Anya and I have a very special relationship. You're dodging the question. You're dodging the question. The zeros. I didn't want, yeah. First of all, her nickname is Anya Zero,

which I think is fine. It means good in a way. It does mean good because yeah. Like it's not good. It's higher than number one. What do you mean by that? That's where I actually draw the line in terms of- People say number one is the best, right? Right.

What number is higher than one? Two. Two and above. Oh oh well if you're counting that way Correct Yeah Thank you the invention of zero revolutionized math right yeah, and then and the invention of the magnetic zero revolutionized indie rock rock around 2007. Wow, crazy. Sometimes you have to pop out and show people. Is that why you keep showing me?

You saw the Super Bowl and you put on that outfit? It's sort of a blout fit, yeah. Meaning? All blue. Oh, I was like, that's crazy, you might have to cut that. But you meant blue. What else would it be? Oh, I was like, that's crazy, you might have to cut that. What do you mean? But you meant blue. What else would it be? Bluff it. Oh, yeah.

Guys, we have a lot to get to. Packed episode, packed house. I will say, speaking of outfits, when he said that we were gonna just do business casual today, I thought he was telling me what to wear. We've had people come to our shows in business casual before, genuinely thinking it was more of a dress code than a name of the group.

So here's the thing about that, right? Most people at Headgum you can see dress very casually, so this is sort of my business casual. What business do you work for? The fact that what I just said wasn't met with immediate joy. Just sort of. That's like an experience that you have pretty regularly though, right? Yeah, well it's foreshadowing for the rest of this episode and how it's gonna go on just pissed at me You guys are giving me no energy. No, you look like here. I'll give you some here's some energy for you. You look like

You look like you if I saw like BTS you posted this outfit on your Instagram story I'd be like Jeffrey's in the worst short film of all time Jeffrey's in the worst short film of all time What's that it looks like you're in BTS yeah, which people love those guys yeah, yeah Yeah, I do love or like a Dunkin Donuts commercial sorry. I'm here just one second because they didn't actually get to their plugs so Well just you know off-broadway Edinburgh friend that's done not well. it's all listing our accolades We're not doing that anymore and you guys about a very successful run of the

Play sketch show Cowboys. That's looks as a joke Yeah, we did the Netflix is a joke festival Moon Tower Comedy Festival, New York Comedy Festival And we're bringing the Cowboy show back to the Soho Playhouse, New York Comedy Festival, and we're bringing the Cowboy Show back to the Soho Playhouse in New York on March... Can we try that again without you interrupting me with your little sounds? Sorry about that, yeah. We're doing the show again at the Soho Playhouse in New York on March 20th. I think we did it again.

Fingers. Yeah, if we could just get a clean one. I don't know. Was that on purpose or...? Well, I had a wrist on the thing and that's the trackpad. You had your wrist on it? You don't need to have your hand anywhere near it. Did you type with your wrist? No, my wrist is on it because I have to...

You can relax your wrist. We're not going to need it. Well, I'm on the switcher. That's something that, yeah, we are going to need it. Because otherwise I have to edit it in post and then it takes me hours. Just do the date and then you can cut it inwards. Yeah, we'll cut it in. March 27th and March 20th. That one's just because I didn't want people to know the date. Yeah, I'll do it as fast as I can really quick, okay? March 27th and March 28th at the Soho Theater in New York City.

Soho Playhouse. Yeah, Soho Playhouse in New York City. And then March 29th in Boston at the Rockwell. On Broadway or is this one's off? This one is technically off-Broadway. It's not Broadway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, off-Broadway.

Is it cowboy related? It's a whole cowboy show. It's incredible. It's a really great show earnestly So if you're in New York check that out Last week yeah, we did it we did it a dynasty of super fun. Yeah, yeah, I'd never seen I didn't know you wanted to come to a sketch show I work in comedy right? That's why I thought you would not want to go every day. She's working on like I'm not gonna get into it Oh, we are we we're not up and coming. We're definitely We're well established don't worry about it. We did the show in Texas a year ago, and I spent every

That one's on a bit of a delay so that one was supposed to come right when he said we're famous and I'll edit that in Right when he said we're famous and I'll edit that in post It's gonna be a perfect hit but then there's gonna be this cracking up that Sorry do continue I was just gonna say that show in Texas and I spent every dime that we made off of that show on these boots We were insect about it. Why is that? Their money too. No, no. They made me go with them and I was pretty pissed the entire time. I get that.

I went with Hunter and the guy showing me the boots. They absolutely thought we were dating. And they did not like us. They were chill about it but they didn't treat us as nicely as some of the other customers. They were not stoked about the nose getting boots No, the jacket says Cowboys. Yeah, is that custom made ideas my friend? Made me this jacket shout out too many plugs. All right grace sensor that in Jeff needs to silence any women that are mentioned on this podcast

I keep forgetting a blur next to him. I don't even mind that actually. Grace, can we make that happen? And then I'll get credit for it. Just robotically having, oh, yeah, my friend Jeffrey James made me this job. That's really interesting. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, yeah. We have to, we have a- That's too much work for him.

So. Okay. We have a ton to get to today. I want to make sure that- What are we doing? What do you mean, what are we doing? We're having a ton of fun. I'm having a great time. This has been a great time.

We barely started. We haven't gotten to the first segment. Things are having us, man. This has been great. Things are happening, man. They're immune to you. Here's what I'll say. So the mantra of this show is overlapping dialogue and we're nailing that, right?

Like a little bit more out of Casey, by the way feel free to call him China That's sort of a nickname that I tried to get going that's some bullying that you're tricking us into I don't like that Yeah, it's nicknaming. I want to be mad about it, but I can't cuz it's so funny Cory you said you wanted to compliment Casey. Yeah, can I give you my compliments? Oh, yes. Yes I think that your hair looks really great. Thank you so much, and I like the way that you cropped your flannel I think that's a great crop. Oh, you did that aftermarket or you bought it like that? Yeah aftermarket. Wow It cuts a nicer silhouette on him. Exactly. Thank you. And Amir is your kind of polyester blend nonsense OEM or aftermarket? This is headgum merch. It's not still for sale though, we should say.

I think it is still for sale. Okay. And you can, if not, you can just buy this one off of me. Okay. And you know what I'm gonna do also in post, I'm gonna get the sale numbers from Marika and see we'll put the date right here when the last time someone ordered that from the store

is I guarantee you it was at least earlier than 2023. And see if you can beat it people. See if you can beat it. There's gonna be a huge spike after this comes out. Yeah. Oh my God. It's not that loud. Bond of the Week.

I love The Incredibles, man. We obviously have to get to this segment every week. By the way, I started printing out the outline, so. Why? Because I'm trying to put more work into this shit. That's not more work, you could have just done it off your phone. I asked them to be on the show two weeks ago.

Call that work, please. That's good, but- Call it work. What's it hard? We were begging to be on the show. We were bothering Jeff for a really long time. My Bond of the Week is Lou Vega. Nice.

Anya, who's yours? What about the Luca guy? He's here in Holland. Luca Godance. That's a great Bond. I love that. That's really cool. There hasn't been like a big fat James Bond yet.

I was going to say Mom Bond number five. Sorry? Mom Bond number five. What does that have to do with Luca Godance? A little. Sorry, it has to do with Lou Vega as Bond. Can I- Luca Bondcic?

Yeah, okay. Oh, Mom Bondcic. A little bit of- Luca Doncic. I was gonna sing. On my own. A little bit of point guard on the Lakers. It's not about Luca!

It's a little bit of bad guys in my eyes, a little bit of pussy at the bar Mate way too much martinis is what I need Imagine shooting guns after drinking gin a little bit of Sandra Oh as bond Sandra Oh instead of Lou Vega a little bit of Jessica Beal as Q Of course, I mean Q from QAnon. Da da da da da. Are you okay, man?

Mom Bond number five. Mom Bond. So you're- Okay, I was gonna do more Luca bits, but that was really, really good. The Bond was from Jerry. Yeah. It was really good.

So yours is Luca Donchich? Yeah, Luca Bond. He had it right off the cuff, though. Really good so yours is luca don bond shit. Yeah, look at that I Called luca don chitch fat because that's like a joke on the internet because he's just like Most basketball players are like really really fit, and he's just normal so I as a person Who is heavy think that it's really funny to call him fat every time he's brought up? Well, that's why the Traded him because he was fat. They were like it was conditioning and he was too fat. Yeah

He kept slipping on chicken grease. Yeah, is that true? Yeah And other players would do in the locker room chicken grease bone skins like whatever was kind of falling off Luba I'm sorry Luba don't you know right? Yeah, Yeah, cuz the town in Slovenia where he was born Anyone else have any bonds of the week it's usually mandatory, but we have a lot of people So it's okay if you want to pass. I was thinking it could be an old man like John Lithgow John you're not worried about it cuz yeah, he has to do like a lot of stunt work and I Mean maybe not in this one. Maybe it's kind of hangs out So you want to see bond in retirement like on the verge this one you can realize that he's too old So you want you want John Lithgow has bonded golden handcuffs. Yeah, and really just get his ass kicked

That's the year he realizes it's time to retire. Yeah, just wall-to-wall bad just getting He throws up from too much drinking. I don't mind that and we should say Casey's a director So what do you think about this casting choice? I think it's inspired. Are you you're being yeah, you can lighten up It's Hollywood man, I'm open to notes. No, I think I think it's great and look, you know, there's a lot of people in here I'm not trying to I got nothing At the moment your sour that you're not getting as much airtime as you usually do No, I'm trying to get a read on you Last week China said China ball when no you said China ball. She said it again

I'd like to interject that China could be a cool nickname If you just accepted it. Can you tell them what happened at the Hedgum holiday party? I don't know what that's in reference to. What happened at the end of the week? Moving on. Right? Okay. Any other Bonds of the Week? Jeremy? I have a guy at my coffee shop who brings his dog and the dog fucks all the other dogs. What do you mean? I said it so perfectly.

There's not much to read in there. At the shop? Or you just fucking know the dog? No, they do. I've said it so perfectly They come inside and every dog that comes in that that dog like mounts the other dogs and then comes inside And the dogs not wearing a condom but the so hunters riffing on my actual reality, but Which we'd like to pitch as the name of our podcast Riffing on my actual reality But I like his blind confidence because they always tell the dog to stop but then it doesn't and he comes back every He's never not been there when I'm there

Shooter's shoot Is he the bond or is the dog the bond? He's the bond The dog? Yes Okay, so it'd be like What is it? Freebud? Airbud? Airbud?

Or Free Willy is a dolphin. Yeah. Free Willy is a whale. Free Willy's a whale. Um, it's a, no, it's an orca, which is technically a dolphin. We can't. Moving on. I'm sorry.

Thank you, Cory, because if we're gonna spend all the time that we just spent on bottom of the week on every segment of the show, we're gonna be here till 5pm. I just want to really quickly pitch, uh, he just signed with CAA. No one's been up here till 5pm. Yeah want to really quickly pitch. He just signed with CAA Wait what happened there we missed a little a little joke this is a side zero is giggling What's so funny I'd like to laugh I don't want to keep you guys over time like till five or six. Six? All right, bringing us into what I like to call our Word of the Day. I mean how long are these podcasts? Like three hours usually? Yeah, we're usually 30 minutes to 33 minutes.

That was unimaginable to him. Word of the Day, obviously it used to be a word that someone didn't say on the show. Nowadays it's a phrase that I coined. So today it's iractor. Meaning? I didn't say it out loud until just now. It sounds like a tractor that's in the Middle East. Yeah, but instead it's a form of therapy when... Sorry. Take it again. Just I'm still stuck on how everybody's been treating my outfit. I really tried to wear something new Would you wanted us to say your sketch is called business casual I wore my business casual, okay, that doesn't make any sense Schizophrenic explaining to us what's going on with

Yeah, and also like this outfit is attention-seeking behavior and That's like a schizophrenic explaining to us what's going on with the pie. Yeah. And also, like this outfit is attention seeking behavior and you're getting attention. The attention isn't good. We haven't talked about it, the outfit in about 20 minutes. I think that's what's going on. Eiracter. Yeah, what is the combination? An Eirac tractor.

We got it. No, it's a form of therapy for when you're irate where you drive a tractor that vibrates your glands I Think that it has a bad name. This is hot Thank you. I'm into this right is does this so you're driving a giant vibrator to calm down Well you say like that it sounds awesome is this from from your same company that made the Afghani van? Absolutely correct What's that it's like a blanket that comes with a blanket You're really cementing what core is accusing me of or sorry

But everybody's accusing me of by basically asking for permission to speak. You do not need to do that. Well, you keep doing this with the mic. So do the same thing! I don't wanna fight with you on it, I just wanna kinda share it. This is how it could be used in a sentence, or in a conversation, rather.

It's a two-person exchange, maybe you can be the one that's not in quotes. Good. Ugh, I'm so pissed! Why don't you ride the E-rac-tor? Isn't that just like a Sibian? No. No.

I don't wanna really finish. Kinda yeah is the line. Kinda yeah. We do really have to move on. I know you wanna stay in this scene, but. I'm. Casey, this this I just came across this on the internet and it actually really made me think of you okay

it actually really made me think it all right let me just talk amongst yourselves while I try and figure out the screen sharing in this God for safety he's gonna do something mean right yeah or like oddly embarrassing well usually when he says this he pulls up a clip or something that is just like a guy doing anything Yeah, and then he goes this made me think of you Why we go why it's not kind of cuz I wanted to share it on the podcast It's on that one. Yeah, we got to turn this TV on turn this TV on turn this TV on guys Jeffrey you're in a way better mood than you were during the Super Bowl halftime.

You were shaking your head. Well, I just am like, I wish it was someone more relevant and... You think he's in a good mood? You should see him when Kendrick Lamar was in the Super Bowl halftime. I just, you know, I mean, who is that for? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. You keep pitching Chris Stapleton. That one? I think it's the...

Seven series? Yes. Can we just figure this out? Jesus Christ. Stop yelling. I'm just gonna make this podcast as best as it can be. You are so impatient. Just, this is a nightmare!

You know they're recording this, right? Just take a fucking break right? He put on his outfit and he changed completely. Yeah. He's a petulant child. Get the Angel Rees special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame

seed bun of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? I'm participating participating restaurants for a limited time so you're upset about Gambling losses over like a high school basketball game. Yeah Can we just have you ever power through for the love of God It's interesting normally I like everyone piles on to Jeffrey and then I'm like nice to him when I'm on this podcast, but I'm not really feeling like he's an empathetic character. No, not today.

Or a sympathetic character, rather. I don't have sympathy for a man dressed like that. What's the code? 8149. And this is all staying in, yeah? Oh, and there's all your fucking buttons. This is the only all staying in yeah, oh, there's all your fucking button And we're back Alright Casey this made me think of you okay, you have self-confidence issues low self-esteem Do you need constant reinsurance come to the board right here? Are you sensitive to criticism is your core weak?

You have digestive issues. Do you need someone to always reassure you for an idea? I have an idea honey. Is it a good idea? That is it a good idea You have low self-esteem tough world issues of self-confidence If you do my number one question to you is did you have any trauma from 14 to 21 years? That really quick if we come here, this is called zone 3 if you look at zone 3 here My stops that was it He starts rambling about like ways to fix it, which I just frankly aren't think aren't possible Just some quick stats on that video correct 134 weeks ago

960 My question is how did that video make it to your My question is how did that video make it to your screen? Do you know him personally? I'm a huge fan of the explore page, right? Especially when it comes to finding ways to relate to, I wanna say China. Jeff's algorithm is like a garbage disposal. What doesn't work on anybody else's is fed.

But it's like the t-shirts after the Super Bowl, they just go. Come on. That's funny. That's funny. But it's like the t-shirts after the Super Bowl, they just go off. That's funny. That's funny. Yeah, you're like a Haiti man. Like that's where they send the shirts. The shit that doesn't work for anyone else is fed right to you.

I don't think they send it to Haiti. Because your brain is so fucking ass backwards that like nothing makes sense. Up is down, down is up. It's like, you know, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, I'm gonna write to you, because your brain is so fucking ass backwards that nothing makes sense. Up is down, down is up, like a video like that, which doesn't resonate with anybody ever, actually strikes a fucking chord with you.

Take a break, we'll be right back. I was kidding. We just took a break. And we're back, trying to save some of the fucking energy that was lost through that. This podcast shouldn't, wouldn't be allowed, they play this to people in Guantanamo Bay. Who lets you do this?

Mostly them. Yeah, yeah, they're in the room with us right now. All right, guys, bringing it into a segment that I like to call So we've done Casey's Dimes We've done, what are we, Anya's Coins? And now we're going to play Hunter's Grunder. You stay away from my Grunder, mister.

Basically, it's a question that only you can answer. It's a quantitative, not qualitative segment. You just give us a number. That's all only you can answer. It's a quantitative, not qualitative segment. You just give us a number. That's all that's required here. It's really short. How many times per day do you think of your perennium? My perennium?

Just a number, please. Three. Moving on. All right, guys, since I was in Brooklyn for two months last fall, and this is what you came out as, look at it. You just went for two months, 14 months ago, and now you're wearing a tracksuit He also went back in time. Oh, I see I was also crazy busy in Brooklyn writing a novel

I just didn't get started quite yet because I haven't come up with the perfect title I think that you you told me perfecting a title. I need the perfect. This has been ongoing for months. I'm every week I'm pitching a new novel title Well, well the main character's name is Junie B Jones. It's called strapped and starving the importance of gun ownership and monasteries So this is a novel. Well, this one's actually a new book It's a nonfiction account of what happens when hunger-striking monks get supplied with ar-15 Nonfiction so are you actively supplying them? Absolutely, giving them firearms and seeing what happens.

That way I don't have to write anything other than what's happening down. Mm-hmm. Yeah, this is like the Stanford School of Business. Because you hate working. What's happening down? What's happening the house down? Genuinely, this podcast is against the Geneva Convictions. Speaking of the Super Bowl, the NFL in a move against DEI initiatives took end racism out

of the end zones and they replaced it with something else, I forget what it was, but I thought that we could just, if they're going to take it out, let's come up with some new kind of slogan that they could put in the end zone, right? On the grass painted. Yeah. So I came up with a couple and if you guys want to come up with any while we're here, sure, that could be interesting. Okay. My first one is choose thin.

Let's hear the second one. Loweoth pores. P O O R S. Belittle nurses. Is there a space between B and little or? That could be interesting. And then both end zones could have the same letters, but different meanings. Yeah. B little nurses and then a little nurses.

Yeah. Basically be like, I'd actually wait or you could belittle. What if it said belittle belittle little nurses, belittle the little nurses. And it's like, if your nurse is under five feet tall and they come in, they're like, I'm here to do, and you're like, I just have such little faith in what's happening. That'd be a good one. I'd be gracing on what you're saying You're doing the opposite of yes and practice slurs in the mirror, that's one of the slogan correct And godparents Has anyone ever been like a godparent and then you have to do the responsible part or is it all just I don't think so

I think it's more so just like spiritual. I think it's more so just like yeah, we're really cool Yeah, like a godparents like oh their parents died like you have to that seems like a movie or a Netflix show Yeah, where you actually have to do because it's like when people get baptized the godparents like hold you right? But then I'm imagine actually have to take... Because it's like when people get baptized, the godparents like hold you. Right. Yeah. But they don't imagine actually having to raise a child. To raise the child. You guys think that's never happened? That's what we're going with?

No, that's absolutely happened before I think. I don't think people do it though. I have godparents that my parents have said like, we're not giving you to them if anything happens. Same, same. It's a... It's just a title. Yeah. It's a meaningless title.

We don't have to extrapolate on all these. Slogans. Do you have any? Yeah. We don't have like a sound effect to play when we're done listening to you. It's sort of like how the house always wins. Like in Blackjack, the casino acts last.

But people still gamble. Yeah. People still love that show. And I'm learning how to manage the cards. So you love the show. You have the edge because you get the sound the sound it's fun to go to a casino Still it's fun to be on this show regardless of if I win every week Swallow meals we got a I got an extra slogan here if you would you say what you say what you say football

That's interesting two separate words this time though? Yep. Why is that? What? Are you... Fill out the space. Are you not hearing me or you don't understand? No.

Fill... And the no is the answer to that question. No. Okay. I've got one off of that. Okay. Feet balls. I like that.

Feet balls. Because it's on both sides of the field. There's two of them. But you can put a slash in between there. I don't like what's happening here. I don't like this cross-cash robbery. I'll stick in a period after feet and a period after balls. I don't like making a long explanation mark after both. And ripping off that, if we didn't.

We're cooking with gas. No, we got it. What about feet X balls? Like a collab. Like a collab between feet and balls. It's a collab. Cause I'd like to collab. Cause I'd like to collaborate my feet with your balls, brother.

Feet and balls. You wanna kick me in the balls And that's why the NFL should have it in the end zone. Huh. I have a pitch on swallow meals. Let's hear that There's a space And it says swallow me ALS So you're basically telling ALS research to go fuck themselves So The disease yeah

And then I dump ice on my head. Ice bucket chat. The swallow meal's a thing? He said that earlier. It's really easy to forget anything that he says. I wasn't looking at all of you right here. Switch codes. What is that?

It's like code switching. It's the way that when Jeffrey talks in front of black people versus in front of white people. What about ignore wives? This is also in reference to how Jeffrey talks in front of black people. Breathe shallow. Got on you for that one. It's nothing. There's not even a joke there. There's nothing.

Hoard jeans. Horse jeans. That's an ad. And why do you think that Jeremy? Why do I think horse jeans is a good one? That's the most I've seen you agree the whole episode. You were really happy. A good pitch will just jump at you, horse jeans. Cause then you can sell them too. Yeah, to horses.

None of yours make money. But horse jeans is actually... Sorry, was end racism supposed to make money. Yeah, yeah Yeah, really mm-hmm. That's why they cut it short It wasn't making any money if you don't like swallow meals. You're not gonna like any of these I like swallow me alas swallow me alas What shouldn't have reacted to that Now they'll know no to put it in.

This is the last time I have you behind the desk, by the way. I'm right here. You do not have to yell. You want the mic, I have to yell. It's never gone like this between me and her. No, it has. We get one of these every once in a while. I don't under... Yeah, sorry. Now I'm getting really genuinely upset. It's funny, dude, because in in the outfit I could never take you serious Yeah, like if you got a call and you were like, hey

Sorry, I got it in the podcast early Whatever it was whoever was in the hospital or dead I'd be like that's hilarious There's a problem with you try to say something to say something really serious right now. Say that your sister got in a car accident. Jesus Christ. Say it. Say it. I'm sorry, I have to go.

Okay, my engineer technique. We might have lost my brother. Jesus. Who? Jesus. No, my other brother. Oh yeah. He couldn't even pretend to have a sister, by the way. Had to be other brother. Oh yeah.

He couldn't even pretend to have a sister, by the way. Had to be a brother. That's right. The prompt was sister. Yeah, but he had one sister. I have a sister, so I can't say that. Oh, okay. I do believe in Jameson.

But you can say myself over there. Oh, I didn't know I could. We have to move on. It's been 40 minutes. We have two more segments to get to, Casey. Okay. Speak up. You've barely added. I have two more segments to get to Casey. Okay, speak up You've barely added. I don't know why you chose to be he's doing fine To lie welcome to two lies in a stye

So basically I'm gonna give you This one's pretty self-explanatory. Shouldn't it be two truths and a stye? Can you just let the show happen organically, man? How else are we gonna enjoy? Two lies and a stye is the name of the game. It's a, I'm gonna give you sets of celebrities,

one of which has confirmed had a stye in their eye. The two others will be lies because it's your eye like a big pizza pie. It's a stye, that's a stye. You asked Casey to participate by the way. And that's what I get. And I got everyone on board. Yeah, they weren't happy.

Do you hear the drone? I was happy. I am I'm over the moon. I'm having the best day of my life Keep putting on airs I'm gonna give you sets of celebrities two of which have never had a stye at least in the public eye The other one has okay confirmed, okay? It's like a pimple of the eyelid okay, and one of these couples has had a stye not couples celebrity couplets Okay Okay, so do you want to play the game or you want to keep kind of? There's no way! This is insane!

We're forcing the issue, alright? Mel Gibson, alright? You're a terrorist. Like, genuinely? Mel Gibson, Vanilla Ice, and Tony Romo. Romo's had a sty. One of the two, one of the three or two of them had a sty. And then the other two are dating? The other two, no, you're adding layers. The other two just haven't had styes, I think.

Okay, I'm with Amir on this. It's Tony Romo. I'm gonna say Vanilla Ice. You think Ice has had a sty in his eyes? Yeah, I feel like he's the kind that goes out with a sty on this Tony. I'm gonna say vanilla ice you think ice is out of style. Yeah Yeah, I feel like he's the kind of go out with a stay in his eye. That's it. I just got a stay in the eye I'm trying to guess the one that isn't public or we're trying to get the ones that are Sorry, because the other two might have had styes, but the one that has had a notable stye in the public eye, okay? So we're guessing the public eyes die public eyes die the guy with the public eyes die higher education degrees Okay, you're not you guys consider higher education College don't be obtuse so Amir says Tony Romo maybe

Amir and I didn't even get to vote. I'm gonna go Tony Romo At least we're out now on the same page. Absolutely correct! They're all correct? No, well, Cory, Amir, and I want to say Wiser. Close, Elder. Elder, correct. I will say there's like a really important podcast going on next door and you can't yell

like that again. Really important podcast. You'd think that they'd have their own studio. They wouldn't be coming into this dump. That's crazy. I can't believe you'd talk about smart lists like that. That's really sad. All right.

Andy Roddick, Sam Smith, and Winona Ryder. Who's the first one? Andy Roddick. So it's usually, I think the way that we do this is it's usually the the one that Jeffrey wouldn't know off the top Of his head so Roddick so and the Roddick yeah the other ones Athletes we'd only know about the sty because it's affecting their performance I don't even mind that China. What are we thinking Roddick Roddick everyone thinks Roddick unanimous product. Yeah That's gonna be Sam Smith and guess what he had surgery It for the style

No, he had like a gastric bypass. Yeah, it's actually pretty bad They say it's so hard to see With my stye on me Mommy doesn't know daddy has a stye On the lid of my eye On the lid of my eye Then I gotta Oh my god

From doing something unholy. Um... I can't believe Roddick's never had a sty. He might have. The people who I'm saying didn't Might have had a sty. It's just not... Ah! Confirmed, right? You didn't listen to the instructions, ass. You know he won the 2003 US Open? Really?

Without a sty. Interesting. Alright, um... He's dating Winona Ryder. Is that true. He's dating Winona Ryder. Which is crazy. Is that true? No way. Winona Ryder. Because it was the other option. I don't even mind that. We do have to move on. So the game is now called Stye or Dating. Winona I Stye-der. Can we? He actually just made that joke. Well Yeah, Tony Robbins Ellen DeGeneres and Jim Gaffigan. Hmm Jim Gaffigan. I'm Tony Robbins, Ellen DeGeneres, and Jim Gaffigan.

Jim Gaffigan. I'm going Robbins. I'm going to go Ellen. Yeah, Ellen, because she maybe hosted a show with us. Yeah, I like Ellen. No, I think it's Jim Gaffigan. He's like, I have a sty in my eye. That's good.

He's always yelling. That's your Gaffigan. Yeah, that's how he always talks. That was pretty soft. Sorry, and I do have to mention this. So last year, you were like going on a tirade about how they got- A sty-rade? Thank you.

It's, yeah. What was the sty-rade that Corey went on? Yeah, what was the sty-rade? That they, them two fuckers got callbacks for Just For Laughs. Oh yeah. I have to ask, was your tape mostly like a bunch of characters really fun or was it just your gaffigan? It was a gaffigan. Correct. Vietnamese Jim gaffigan. No way. Jamaican Jim gaffigan. Of course. Patwak again. Yeah. Patwak again. And there

was Jim, it was Wogwan fagin. Which is? Jim gaffigan, if you were from Jamaica. Got it. And then I did like a really offensive, like, Quebecois Jim Gaffigan. That's really interesting. And terrible for just for laughs. Sorry, by the way, that was the offensive one. That was the offensive one. French-Canadian accent. Can we hear yours? My what? French-Canadian accent or my Jim Gaffigan?

Um, this is, it's obviously tough because they brought me in for They brought me in for SNL. So was it Ellen? Is that the kind of the Joker? That was Gilbert Godfrey. Show me Ellen! That was absolutely Ellen DeGeneres It's mostly homophobic. It's only been the gay people so far. Kelly Ripa Kelly Rowland. Oh, there's more. Machine Gun Kelly Kelly Rowland Are There's more. Machine Gun Kelly. Kelly Rowland. Are any of them gay?

That's a valid question. Can we just, yeah. I guess I guess Kelly Ripa again because it's usually like the TV host that has to do a show. I was gonna go Ripa. A public stive. I'm all in on Rip. I'll do Machine Gun.

Alright. Let her RipIP-a! That was absolutely Kelly I want to say RIP-a Last one Bill Clinton, Sofia Vergara and Brie Larson. Oh Bill Clinton. Okur? You're going Brie Larson. Okur? Bill Clinton Okur? Bill Clinton, Okur. Bill Clinton, Okur. What'd you say? Bill Clinton or... Bill Clinton, Brie Larson or Sofia Vergara. Very clear image of Bill Clinton with a big, sweaty looking stye. I could picture that but

is that what's your final answer? Older vegan. Final answer in terms of China. Well, go Vergara. You're going Vergara. Yeah, just to go against the grain. Stifia Vergara. Yeah. That's good. What's your final answer? I want it to be Bill, but I'll go with whoever you said second.

All incorrect! And that's actually the trick question meters off the charts. None of them had styes, but they all have periodontic rosacea Oh Periodontic oh, or you're having a ton of fun It's an o for me

Dregman What's that? What did you say? I hit the wrong button and I played the Dregman sound effect, but honestly makes sense though, because this is a lot of segments. Yeah. All right, bringing it into our last segment. This is Headgum Podcast Superlatives Business Casual Edition. So what's that? I just said, uh-oh.

You really can't say that to any of these segments. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So there's three of us. Uh-oh. For you. There's four of us. There's four of you. Um, what's that? Sorry, who are we not counting? Yeah again, you're raising the woman in the room. Yeah, and I don't like Um, it was definite I get why you would think that it was Donahue because of the lack of additions that he's it no subtraction But you haven't added much today who China Yes, why am I the only one getting notes on my performance?

No notes he's contributed Okay, had gun podcast or purr super now you got me say the purr purr Headgun podcast superlatives business casual edition, so we're gonna label your guys Didn't know this was gonna be like an ambush you guys can't vote, but you can react so here we go That's like your opinion Zero are we all ready? Yeah. Nice. He had to do that. Most likely to lobby for Headgum to end its DEI initiatives. And that's one of these three?

Correct. Oh, well... I want to say Angie, but it has to be one of the three. Yeah. I was gonna say that's totally D'Arkland style. Not really. No. This is the three. I was gonna say that's totally D'Arkland style. Not really. No, this is, no. I think it's probably-

That's someone whose last day was today. She's on the sales team. And we couldn't bring her up at all. Sorry, but- Corey. Okay. His Gaffigan thing. His Gaffigan, what do you mean?

Oh, the Ptois. China? I'm gonna have to say Corey. Sorry Corey. And it's only because of the outfit, which I think is great, but there are people in outfits like that who might be against DEI initiatives. If you had a white Stetson that was perfectly steamed, you'd be racist. That's his whole vibe, man. He's able to to blend in but that's why he's got the nose ring Yeah to let people know that I'm not racist or homophobic hunter. You're like this is where you can react, but you cannot vote

Okay, I looked at the wrong person and I met Jeremy, okay Was I voting you were reacting you were not voting? I saw I wasn't fucking up at all Jeremy was on the verge of voting. I feel like it's only reaction All right, I could see I had like a voting vibe you had like yeah sort of a hashtag stop this Still stay in line was your vibe at that point so just feel free to react But no voting in this if you're in line to vote for Cory as getting rid of DEI There's a kind of almost a pseudo vote. I actually grace feel free to censor that Amir are you gonna vote

Show me Cory That's absolutely what yeah well not correct or there's no right or wrong answers But you do win that Cory you have an acceptance speech for the superlative. We have a quarry What does that mean to you like a quorum? You can't just say shit and bend the English language to your will Did you say he can't invent words on the podcast when there's a whole segment The Iraq tractor after what he's done The Iraq tractor Jeffrey you are an autocrat. Jeffrey, you are an autocrat.

You are an authoritarian. Okay. And so here's my in a perfect world, which we do not have one day. Can you let them talk? One day we won't need DEI because the quality will be burnt into our souls instead of having to be done actively. It'll be something that we just all know how to do instead of having to think about how to do.

So, yes, I do think that one day we should get rid of the idea. I can't believe he said that. You've reached your limit on talking. All right. Most likely to ask why. When a famous band agrees to play at a fire aid concert hunter What? So fast for that. What do you mean? I mean, it's quite obvious But yeah based on what you met him fit 40 minutes ago

It's a vibe that sort of permeated the entire room and the day I was gonna say not just the room It's gonna continue on past this you could be feeling bad later. Anyone else care to weigh in? China? Sort of feels like you're... time to shine. And you're letting it slip. Yes, fine China, but in this instance, it's been fine China because he hasn't added much and here's his time to shine. Jesus Christ. He's been adding the whole time.

I feel, and I didn't want to bring this up, I feel like you're threatened because you're not getting enough airtime Fractionally with respect to how many people are on the show, right? Usually you're used to being 1 4th of it now you're having to deal with being 1 7th I feel like it's not worn well on you. It's wearing you down. Can I pick you for this? Okay for this. Okay.

You can give him a different superlative even. Not really. It's obviously business casual edition. Have you asked Casey how he's doing? He's never asked me that. Yeah. Maybe you can get more from people if you were checking in on them and seeing how they were doing.

How are you doing Casey? I'm doing fine. Great. Okay. Does that feel good? Not really. I kinda wanna... You should focus on building bridges, not walls. Hmm.

That sounds like something someone who would be pro-DEI would say. Yeah, but it kinda... DEI-I-I-I-I-I-I! Okay, we're back to... So you're pro-the-initiate, but in an offensive way. ... Alright, most likely to take a cat- Wait, can I defend my stance? Oh sure, you can react.

Okay. I feel like it would be- There's so many of these superlatives. I feel like I could see myself reacting like a good why. Where it's just like, oh that band's reuniting, oh, why, oh that's cool. It's still a why ask. Why ask why? Why, why, the fires.

And I go like, oh right, I completely forgot. That's right. You're just a dumb guy. In my defense, I'm fucking stupid. In my defense, I'm thinking about doing dope shit all the time. In real life and in these hypotheticals, am I still stupid as hell? Yeah, in this hypothetical, I'm a bit of a blockhead. Most likely to hire a crisis PR firm just in case. I mean, it's Casey, but this one's Business Casual.

Edition. Edition, yeah. Yeah. A lot from the Edition Hotel. Anya, what are you thinking? Oh, sorry. Crisis PR? Yeah. I think, no offense, trio of white guys in their 20s are all gonna need they're working for business casual LLC Broad strokes really interesting, but that's just sorry just give it a second Yeah, and also I think you guys are having a great energy here today, and that's why thank you

Because you guys are doing really well you're riffing. It's funny getting along with Casey and Amir anything. I'm upset I do I know you're upset you picked a great outfit today to on you. I think it just looks really fresh. Yeah Thank you so much Especially very hard and I didn't have to buy anything special No, well every outfit is bought at some point so you bought that one your sense of Your sense of style if you listen to until I finish the sentence then they would kind of be the whole thing of what I Was saying where did you get that outfit? Yeah, cuz like your sense of style is you listen to until I finish the sentence then they would kind of be the whole thing of what I was saying where did you get that outfit? Yeah, cuz like your sense of style is really brought out by the no Jeff's tracks

We'll talk separately. I guess I mean, it's questioning you now. Where did you buy that? It's it was from a non wicking tracksuit store on Amazon non wickens, so I can't work out in this like wickens didn't make it all be sweat So you bought it on Amazon? I got it from a seller on Amazon not from Amazon. What did you search? I searched I searched well I searched wicking tracksuit, but they didn't have the designs. I want he searched he searched Noose arrive in our and then they were like actually never mind, and then they sent you that out I asked for noose on Amazon pharmacy

Came up as a suggested results actor wrote me a note for a noose most likely to act no, sorry no, that's okay Don't apologize. Thanks most skid marks per laundry cycle I Mean it's gotta be hunter why why well you're wearing brown, and I don't think that's the original color of the jacket That's all I'll say You think I get your heart in my jacket so much it eventually changed the color from whatever it originally was to this Muted brown I think it got painted by the undergarments that were skidded You think that he was wearing a white jacket

and he shit his underwear so much that it soaked from the underwear touching his jacket up. Up. To the jacket. Yeah, so- Soaking the jacket. You're insane. For this?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, we just have to power through here. Most likely to get, to be be rejected at a bar not because of how they look but because of who they are

There's almost a compliment That they look nice, but are you're nearly evil. I'm like who's the hottest? Yeah Papa dumb is kind of best case scenario. Right. You say papa dumb is the best case scenario? Yes. Now you're speaking my language.

We're all going out for Indian food after this. Papa Dumbs are probably the best. I'm going to have Vindaloo to be vindicated. That should be one of your new words. Jeremy yet, so I'll say Jeremy. Keep it equal. Equal opportunity. That's sort of DEI in its own way. Yeah, we're kind of trying to get rid of that. Yeah

Most likely to have major regrets right here next to me. Oh Sorry, it's business casual edition. Sorry. I've been a big supporter of you. I just don't yeah I don't trust the process of what's happening creatively today I brought in a lot. They all look to be here I'm having a very nice time I feel like they were smiling at the beginning and I do feel like and I don't want to pin it all on Anya But I feel like you took your nickname made it thus and took the energy from 100 to on your zero You thought we started at 100?

Okay to on your zero you thought we started at 100 okay um too big to fail and Ron edition what yeah nice back by the way I feel like he's millennial they're back what don't you feel like a Mirrors Millennial Cringe? This podcast should have breakout rooms, like a Zoom. So we can go off and talk. Yeah, people watching, I could just be like, talking over here. Too big, too fail, let's just fucking name who it is. What? You guys like to have all these side conversations.

Well, we can't vote. Can I go to the bathroom? You may not, because we're about to be done. Casey? I'm gonna, since we went down the line, I'm going to start back over and go with Cory. Yeah, yeah. Too big, too frail. Nice. All right. Too frail to try.

Enron edition. If I had said that, that wouldn't have gotten a laugh in edgewise. You're right. Yeah, it's about a delivery thing It's really about a body of work. I thought it was about the words themselves because words have power The attitude it's the Gout that's interesting because I've been having a lot of protein ice cream for breakfast exact I know you won't shut up about it protein. What about that?

That one word Exactly. Oh no, you won't shut up about it. Scrotine, what about that? Make that one of your fucking words. Make that one of your fucking words. Scrotine. See that? Protein from a big nut sack. You lost him entirely now. The inmates have taken over. I'm sorry, but... Headgum prison experiment.

Oh my god. Jeffrey! Jeffrey! I'm done. No. I've never seen him like this. This is so... Not a theatrical exit.

It's hard. He's so... Not a theatrical exit. He's storming over to his Mercedes. That's crazy. Wow. That was a Hidgum Original. Hi, I'm Caleb Herron, host of the So True podcast now on Headgum. Every week me and my guests get into it and we get down to what's really going on. I ask them what's so true to them, how they got to where they are in life, a bunch of other questions and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge.

Whether it's one of my sworn enemies like Brittany Broski or Drew Fualow or my actual biological mother Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth and if we find it great and if not, no worries. So subscribe to So True on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts and watch video episodes on the So True with Caleb Heron YouTube channel. New episodes drop every Thursday. Love ya!