The Headgum Podcast - 244: The Geoscars

Episode Date: February 28, 2025

244: Amir, Casey, Marika, and Brad join Geoff for the first annual Geoscars ceremony! Featuring an opening monologue addressing last week’s controversial episode, a Best Documentary Short submission, Brad’s Gads, the nominees for Best Picture, and MORE!» FOLLOW Geoff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geoffreyjames/» FOLLOW Amir on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amir/» FOLLOW Marika on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marikaelon/» FOLLOW Brad on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bradthehuman/» FOLLOW Casey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/caseydonahue/» FOLLOW Grace on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chorlesborkley/Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Get the Angel Re special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down. My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun, of course. And don't forget the fries and a drink. Sound good? I'm participating in restaurants for a limited time.

Previously on the Headgum Podcast. There's a certain energy this episode is already having that that one didn't have. And I don't want to put it all on Pile, Marika, and the fourth guest. Who was the fourth? Who was it, Marika? Casey.

Donahue? You're surprised? You recorded it three days ago. Casey participated, I think. Marika was sour, Pile wasn't. Marika's choking. You made her choke. Hello?

She's coughing. That wasn't funny enough to choke on your DC. No, I just don't know what happened. I inhaled too fast. What? I just don't know what happened. I inhaled too fast. What? I inhaled too fast.

Welcome to the first annual Joscers. We have a lot to get to. I mean, this is a pod pod Holly weirds. We weirdest night, what is night. Pod Holly Weird? Basically, the Holly Weird of podcasting, aka this show, slash headgum at large, slash ad nauseam, slash ad hoc, is having its biggest slash woodest night. Woodest?

There's no energy of anyone even wanting to try to be on the same page as me. Why is that every episode, do you think? I'm not staying. I'm just here to hang out while I eat my dinner. I'm thrilled, honestly. This was your idea, we should say. You tasked me with this. So I had to buy a tux and I had to find a theme song. No one told you to buy a tux. No I got this on Etsy a few weeks ago for my New Year's party which none of you came to. You got it a few weeks ago for your New Year's party? Yeah, it was like $80.

I live in England. That's true. Brad, what's your excuse? I had a vasectomy like three days ago, so. Wow. So not new year. I couldn't have come to your party. Yeah, and I couldn't have come at all.

That was easy. Yeah. That's really good. Yeah, you're always talking about cauterizing grains. I cauterized brains. Brains. Yeah. That's really good. You're always talking about cauterizing grains. I cauterized brains. Brains. Brain. What I said was more medically accurate.

Smoke plume from my nuts. I had an ultrasound on my balls. Jeff, I'm eating. He said the second thing. Everything I said was fine. Yeah. Yeah. An ultrasound?

That was the- That's gonna be a whole nother episode. The Jockers cold open. It was the year of incredible films. Yeah. So in honor of this slate and in honor of the Brutalist, I had a brutal cyst. Meaning? Brad to the bone.

Guys, we've got a lot to get to in terms of films. There were some amazing movies last year. There were some movies that I'd never heard of. There were some movies that were far too long. Movies that if you saw the entire film, you could have actually seen two of the other films. And I do feel like that's an either or this year. Marika, let's let's wise up. Not only pay attention, but wise up.

Sure. You got to wise up, right? Because sometimes the host will do like a musical number. Don't look at me with skepticism. Look at me with joy. I was confused about what the song you were singing was. It was like a Footloose-style original because you're always on my case about playing copyrighted music. And then the moment that I do an original,

you don't meet it with immediate joy. It looks like Grace is eating the diet of someone who has diverticulatus. Of what? Amir, no phones? Why even show up if you're going to do that? I was doing like a little BTS. No, you were not. Because you're not.

It's kind of like, he was doing like the Ellen selfie. I just saw that he posted it, yeah. Yeah. Thank you for the promotion, actually. Remember the Ellen selfie? Guys, it shook the world. The Ellen selfie. I hope something like that happens at the Joscers.

Physically improbable. I hope Jeff gets slapped in the face like Chris Rock. That's hurtful emotionally and potentially physically. Keep my wife's name out your fucking mouth style. We have a lot of Oscars slash Joscers segments, themes, talking points to get to, but I do feel like it's important for me to address something There were a lot of comments on last week's video that I was unkind to Anya and I want to formally apologize for

What happened there and also provide a documentary short to explain what happened and we'll screen that right about now if that's alright with you guys. Are you ready to record? Yeah. Yeah? Why do you think I'm sitting here? The reality is I was exhausted. I had a lot of doubt.

Every day she's working on, I'm not going to get into it with you. And I was a nightmare. Can we just figure this out? Jesus Christ. I'm just trying to make this podcast as best as it can be. You are so impatient. Angry, I was tired, I was irritable. This is a nightmare!

Well Jeffrey's prone to moments of insecurity, especially where the stakes are high. There was tension in the studio. Jeffrey and I just aren't connecting today. There were times where I thought, why does he want to do this? Why? Why is he going from Rice is a River to recording an episode with business casual? And I thought, I don't want to do it. No, Jeffrey! Jeffrey! I'm done.

No! I've never seen him like this. This is so. What the mics. This is bizarre. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.

I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. Explain nothing. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.

I'm done. I'm done. It's a cliffhanger of sorts. I was tired. And that was an apology? Well, no, this is my apology, and that's sort of a documentary short, right? It's a cliffhanger of sorts. That was an apology This is my apology and that's sort of a documentary short right Joska style Do you guys we could do like a really short 30 second Q&A about the doc or why?

Well, do you guys want to hear about maybe some of our influences? sure this was a documentary short that really influenced me personally in the writing and editing of the of the batch. Are you ready to record? Yeah. Yeah? Okay. Why do you think I'm sitting here? Reality is I was exhausted. I had a lot of doubt. The where and now? The coils. Okay. I was exhausted I had a lot of doubt the chorus I was a nightmare dude I'm just trying to make the song as best it can be you're so impatient angry I was tired I was irritable you're wearing the same thing moments of insecurity especially where the stakes are high

there was tension in the studio having Having a hard time connecting to Nelson. There were times I thought, why does he want to do this? Why? Why is he going from Glastonbury to making an album with me? And I thought, I don't want to do it. Cut the mics. So kind of shot for shot. Well, not a direct You know ripoff, but more of like an homage. You know I learned the other day

Elton John also had a vasectomy which is curious Right anyone have any thoughts on that that was like a two week in the making bit Three weeks. Yeah, but I had to plan. I guess I knew That onion had lines to read. Why did you know? I didn't know what it was going to turn out to, but I knew that she had lines to do during the recording. Yeah. I was not to tell anyone. Well, I wasn't in that recording and I didn't tell anyone.

She told me this is why. Do you get why? This is why she shouldn't have told you is because now you have no reaction on the show Well, I think I would have had a reaction anyway to be honest As a person in the room I didn't know that Anya was reading lines and I thought you were just being a real asshole to her Yeah, right that Yeah

Is Elton John's vasectomy curious because he's gay? Yeah. Is what? Okay. No, I didn't hear what you said, because I wasn't sharing sound because of the tech of this is, yeah, kind of a nightmare. Elton John is gay. Right.

Is that what the joke was? No, and the fact that she asked that question Right. Is that what the joke was? No. And the fact that she asked that question after screening the short makes it seem like that was my intention. So thanks a lot, Grace. I finished my soup, so I am going to go. What? There's no way.

I finished my soup. I haven't planned to be here. I just wanted to hang out while I ate my dinner. You can also just stay. I'm not going to tell you. I just wanted to hang out while I ate my dinner. You can also just stay I'm not gonna tell you what to do Okay, cool This is supposed to be a formal episode I wore a tux she was you asked me to be on Six minutes. I didn't ask I said if you wanted to be you could So I can leave too

wanted to be you could. So I can leave too? No, wait! There's gonna be nobody at the Joscers at this point. Nobody, what about us? I was actually gonna head out. We're invited. You guys are like, wow, I guess we're chopped liver too. You guys are kind of a given.

Blumenfeld, Marika, China. See, it's catching on. The Headgum subreddit is loving China. See, it's catching on. The Headgum subreddit is loving China. It's catching on despite my best efforts, I guess. My chagrin, I guess. Yeah, I've learned that the more you fight a nickname, the more it sticks. My nickname was Gay Nadian in high school, so.

Jesus. Wow. Yeah. Wow. And. Wow. And I just said that online. I got a question for Brad before he leaves. Don't leave. China wants me to leave I think.

No, I'm just curious what you thought about the Four Nations. Or the hockey. Oh yeah, I'm wearing the hat. I feel really good about it. Americans talked a lot of shit after winning a preliminary game, just like 2010. And in true Canadian fashion, we got it done. McJesus got it done.

Connor McJesus in the corner. Wrister top shelf. Keep head on swivel boys where mama This isn't movies Do it it is guys No other thoughts about that amir casey you guys were in the room how did it feel on the day was the you i thought you were being an asshole to ania i think everyone thought that and i didn't like it and i was

trying to clock ania's reactions on it to see how should yell at you more or not. And then Amir was saying I was awesome. That's my favorite line in the episode. I snapped at her. I thought it was awesome that you fucking stood up for yourself for once. Anya steamrolls you. So for you to just lay into her like that was so dope

to see you come into your own. It started with me snapping at her inappropriately. It really emasculates me. And does embolden that behavior. Casey was like, wow, Jeffrey sucks this week. And Amir was like, I think he's awesome. And then the episode started and that really made me laugh while I was editing.

That really fell flatter than it should have. We needed Anya on the show to talk about the production process. I tried to get her on yesterday's episode. I don't think we needed to know the production process at all. Like it's pretty weird for a band. It's probably the comments are starting to come around to my side where people are like, Jeff is really putting an effort

and you guys are giving him nothing. Yeah, people are happy that you're making an effort on the show. The comments are loving the effort. They're loving the end product of the last, like, eight episodes. What they're not loving is that I'm still being met with malaise from you guys. Nobody's saying that. People have said that. Nobody's saying that. Just you saying that.

Should we get on to the awards? I think let's sit on this and cancel the John Scores. Live for Dixie. For 74 years, the James Bond franchise has tickled audiences taints pink. With scenes of underwater battle, with scenes of overwater gambling. This is one of the most iconic characters. We wanna create an overwater gambling scene. This is one of the most iconic characters

in cinema history, Casey. And we are in an in-between stage where I want to say we don't know who the next James is going to be. And I wonder if we all want to say it's been the fucking bit for 300 weeks in a row. And also, like, there's actually news this week. Fine. If you want to get into that, I feel like the Joscers is not an appropriate night to talk Hollywood's inner workings on stage. That would never happen at the Oscars. But not only-

Have you ever seen the Oscars, Jeff? I've seen, yeah. I've seen the- You've seen the slap. I've seen the Razzie's, because I've been nominated for footstool to the director a few times. In college, I had a couple internships where I was basically, yeah, like a footman and butler to... a couple of...

Did you win? No. Which, I don't know if that's a compliment or a negative. That's a negative. That means there was someone better at being a footstool. I don't want to be a good footstool there was someone better at being a footstool? I don't want to be a good footstool. I think you're the best footstool, Jeff. Not only is Daniel Craig out as Bond, Barbara Broccoli is handing over the reins to Jeffrey

Bezos. It's kind of like the most devastating. It's awful to hear. You know that they're going to ruin it. They don't know what they're doing. Keeping it in the family was the only way to keep Bond James. So now I feel like at the very least, the casting choice matters the most.

I'm going with Ki-Hee Kwan. That'd be really cute. Because he could be Ki-Hee Bond. Yeah. Yeah. What about Barry Bonds? I like that. That's actually really good. Somebody said that before a couple years ago, but yeah.

Yeah. All right. Well, now there's new bosses and they're listening now. Casey? The only answer is Chris Pratt. It's going to be Chris Pratt. It's gonna be Chris Pratt. Chris Pratt is James Bond now. Okay. I'm thinking Alan Richson, aka Reacher. Oh God, no. He looks like a golden retriever. Bond isn't a golden retriever. He's a fucking Audi. An Audi? An Audi? He's a sleek car. I thought John Krasinski was Reacher.

That's Jack Otherthing. That's, yeah, Jack... Ryan. Oh, sorry. I'm gonna go with Jordy Grip. Is that a hockey player? You're really trying to turn the Joscers into the fucking Jessers?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Former front man of black midi. Okay. Now solo, he's a little elf of a man. He's a Brit. Amir, put your headphones back up. He might be Scottish. Did he also have a vasectomy?

Is that why you chose him? No, I just think he would be a good bond. A good little. So there's no through line, yeah. Well, not everything has to be about my vasectomy, Jeff. You've been making a lot about your vasectomy, though. I didn't bring it up. You brought it up in Slack, and you brought it up twice on this episode.

It's only been 20 minutes. I brought it up in SAC. That's the fourth time that I've been a part of. I know you've been in other Zooms with brands and creators. I don't know who you're telling you got your tubes tied. Is that how it works? Well, I got them more kind of snipped and cauterized. So they cut and solder your veins. Pin with my brides at my side.

All right, trying to get to the normal segments. These are all movie themed. All right, so this is Word of the day, but it's also potential movie pitch. Right. So it's both. It's a word that I want people to start using. And it's a word that could become a movie title. One word.

Disappoint milk. Okay. So that's when your son turns out to be a dud or rather a milk dud. Your son turns into candy. a dud, or rather, a milk dud. Your son turns into candy. Caramel covered in chocolate, yeah. A little kind of pebble round of salty sweet. Is it a noun? It is not.

Or a verb. No, it's a noun. Got it. No, yeah, a thing, a disappointment. You're a disappointment. You're a dis-'re a dissing you're a dissing point milk This thing matters. I think I think What'll what'll really sell it for me is who voices the disappoint milk Chris Pratt No, I well he's gone, but I would want it to be James Khan

Yeah, yeah, that's fun. Yeah, but we could AI his ass. We don't even need to get his son Scott Conn. Scott Conn. What has he done since Hawaii 5-0? He was in a Lifetime Original movie. What about Scott Eastwood? Another Nepo son. Maybe. All right, Amir. This made me think of you. So nothing about movies yet.

Sounds off. Oh, God. You could turn the sound off. A more viral and recent clip though, we should say. I love that it said never have to train legs again and then cut to him training legs. All right, bring it in into Brad's Gads. So we can- Again, bringing up the vasectomy or? Not gonads, Gads. Got it. And Amir, you said nothing movie related.

I beg to differ. All of these have been movie related. Next Bond, documentary short, potential movie title, and Brad's Gads, which is how many of Josh's Josh Gads is films have has Brad seen. And Brad, you're not allowed to do math or check his filmography. You just have to give us a number. I'm going to guess two. No, are they they're guessing or I'm guessing how many of Josh Gads movies

that I've seen this Brad, you answer for Brad how many Gad's you've seen. This should have been a 20 second segment. Okay, two. That was my guess. Holy shit. Alright, bringing it into new novel title that could be adopted into a Jasker-winning feature, right? This one's Inside Santa Monica. This is an erotic novella about a man who goes on an astral projection

journey at the Santa Monica pier and winds up filleting Saint Monica herself. So he has like an out of body experience where he ends up sort of like an inherent vice. Long goodbye inside Lewis. A lake. Yeah, exactly right. Well, I didn't end up seeing inside Lewis, but I was too. It's about someone who sort of has him. This is the first one I pitched that Casey's been on board for so this is really interesting I wonder if we start packaging this with Donahue attached as director and EP. Yeah sure. And do you

know who could play the the man? I mean I'd love to see a tape from you, but no promises. I'm not even fishing for that. I actually don't think I'm right for the part. Okay, well, I need to know more about the character and the story. I know all we have is the title right now. Inside Santa Monica, yeah.

So it's basically like a six foot, six foot one co-founder of a podcast. He's sort of sinewy and aging. His clothes are often sort of threadbare and polyester eaten by moths. He sits in a way that causes testicular torsions and he brings sour energy to most records of the Headgum podcast.

He's down on his luck for obvious reasons. Like the first act is us seeing his whole life falling apart. It's cheated on, his company goes under. It's like, it's playing with structure to be sure. So he like walks to the Santa Monica Pier, uh, wearing this like leg suit. And by the time he gets to the end, he's going to jump off to kind of end it all and then he was astral projecting yeah I thought he was at Santa Monica Pier astral projecting if you want it to be a short we can just make it oh he goes to the same out of gun astral projects I'm

walking you through because we need a whole fucking two hours of this shit, right? So don't interrupt. He could be 90. He gets to the end of the period. He could be 80. And he's gonna end it all. And he instead decides, you know what? I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna sit here, I'm gonna meditate until I get off. And so he starts to go on a shamanic journey, chanting, vibrating, and then we're suddenly in an

Alice in Wonderland kind of down the rabbit hole sequence kind of like Big Lebowski hallucination scenes where he's suddenly sucking and fucking Saint Monica in a non-blasphemous fashion. It's hot, it's right, and guess who plays Saint Monica? What's she the saint of? Yeah. I think sexual purity. Piers. She's the patron saint of patience.

Slash piers. Morgan. I guess I, yeah, I guess I thought the astral projecting was to the peer, but Casey thought the opposite, which is also interesting. No, he's in Santa Monica. He's inside Santa Monica. Astral projecting to a realm where he can then be inside Santa Monica. Gotcha, gotcha. She's unbelievable. I would say Kidman plays Saint Monica just because of the like, that's in line with Baby Girl, that's in line with Pretty Little Liars.

Well, yeah, if we're gonna win Joskers, we need Kidman. We need a big, yeah. But I think for the lead we get a mirror just so he doesn't even have to act. I thought you said six feet, I'm 5'11". Yeah, but I also said sinewy and aging. Yeah. I honestly thought you were talking about Marty.

Oh, I thought you were talking about Marty too. We shoot. I thought you were talking about yourself. They shoot Tom Cruise like five, five for six, one all the time. So I feel like we could shoot 5'11 for six, one. Yeah, we could do like a Lord of the Rings type Gandalf versus Hobbit. Force perspective. Yeah.

Yeah. Or at least get you some lifts in your shoes. type Gandalf versus Hobbit. Force perspective. Yeah. Yeah. Or at least get you some lifts in your shoes. Well, Jeff is moving on when I thought we were riffing, really coming up. We have a lot to get to. Hollywood product here. The Joscers are presented by everyone's fucking heirs that they put on

on this show and their negativity towards me We'll be right back Welcome back to the first annual job. So it was the opening of sacks man by the lonely island. I Love that song guys. I love that song. Guys, I think it's time to meet our nominees. Are you ready? Okay. I really hope none of these are accidentally offensive,

because a lot of these movies are about marginalized communities. Amelia Pez. A Mexican lawyer is offered an unusual job to help a notorious cartel boss fulfill a long-held desire to retire and transition into living as a Pez dispenser. Offensive. A complete gall stone. Fresh off the release of Murder Most Foul and set against the backdrop of his en suite bathroom, an 84 year old Bob Dylan struggles in real time for an hour and a half to pass a 13 pound gall stone. Wait, can I say something about that really quickly? You may. Did you see or was this inspired by the news story from the SAG Awards? No! I saw that afterwards and I yeah. John Claive! Imagine if the next Pope turned out randomly to be, well, me. This movie has it all. Rafe

finds in brownface... Dime China. If you take the plot of Nickel Boys but sub out the themes of racial justice in favor of Casey just having a pouch of walking around coins you get this dime China it's still set in Florida but the majority of the movie is Casey trying and failing to exchange coins for cash at a region's bank What is that a pun of? Nickel Boyz. I'm still awake, I promise. Well the Venice Film Festival has done it again. It's given a major award to a movie that everyone napped through and then pretended to love.

Ever thought to yourself, Manchester by the Sea would be my favorite movie? If only it starred all white passing Brazilian soap actors, then this is the snooze fest for you. I missed the title of that one. I'm still awake, I promise. And what is that the pun of what's the real movie? I'm still here. Also known as the best picture.

Wow. The Substack. Fading actress Elizabeth Sparkle becomes distressed when her chauvinistic boss fires her from an aerobic show. She soon injects herself with a mysterious serum that promises to help her write poignant, Diddy-en-esque essay entries to her Substack. But things go mediocre and nobody really subscribes.

She kills herself at the midpoint. Gosh, that's a miscarriage. All is lost. I think that's got a good chance. Dune Part Brown. Casey Donahue's major motion picture debut stars a malnourished Jeffrey James who despite Donahue's insistence not to lost 90 pounds to appear more like Timothy Shaliman. The cameras follow James's character, Raul Diabetes, as he breaks the fourth wall screaming directly down the barrel, I'm fucking starving, walks off the set

and door dashes a hummus and egg plate from the Mediterranean restaurant and Atwater Village, Dune. Dune. Dune. Great restaurant. Got it. Wicked smat.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. This is the story of two young witches, Elphaba, whose skin is green, and Glinda, who is blonde and beautiful, along with their obnoxious and problematic roommate from South Boston, Henry. Elphaba and Glinda dislike each other at first, but soon form an unlikely bond when they both turn against Henry, who spends most of the movie coining slurs for green-skinned people. Starring Cynthia

Erivo, Arianna Grande, and serving as an ill-thought-out comeback vehicle for Kevin Spacey. A dora. Good. A Nora, a young sex worker from Brooklyn, gets her chance at a Cinderella story when she meets and marries the front door of a Russian oligarch. Once the news reaches Russia, her fairy tale is threatened as the oligarch sets out for New York to figure out why a woman keeps showing up to his place and fucking his door. We get the gist. Who needs three hours and 35 minutes to tell the story of an architect who renovated a library? of an architect who renovated a library. This 23 minute short gets the point across

in a 10th of the time, leaving you plenty of time to go home and listen to the Head Gum podcast. Wow. Did you watch the brutalist? I only saw a complete unknown of this list. And Wicked. I saw Wicked. I don't think it's a really strong year to be honest. You haven't seen any of the movies. Cause I didn't watch two cause none of them seem interesting at all.

What? I only watched the ones that tickled my fancy. You didn't see The Subst see and I don't fucking care You can see part two. I didn't see you do part one Get him Fucking get him Lost Anya style I've seen eight Josh Gad movies by the way. Jesus he's done. I don't even know if I've seen two. I honestly don't know who Josh Gad is. Marika's probably seen the most Josh Gad movies in the world. Like the person who's seen the most Josh Gad movies.

Is he Olaf? He's in movies that would surprise you. Yeah he's Olaf. Okay I've seen that. Guys can we focus on the nominees? I want to hear your guys's Josker's predictions and then by the way we are the Academy so we actually get Okay, I've seen that. Guys, can we focus on the nominees? I want to hear your guys' Jockers predictions. And then, by the way, we are the Academy, so we actually get to vote for the best picture. So, let's discuss the nominees. What were some of your favorites? Which ones do you think were potentially cancelable?

Can you read them again real quick? And the descriptions too, please, just because I was fading in and out. Well you were asking consistently like what is this movie based off of? What is this one? So I feel like you were really engaged. I had heard. You were just confused. It seemed more confused.

Nickel boys have never even heard that word before. It's nominated for Best Picture. Yeah. But you've heard of Dime China, right? I didn't see it because I hear it's real sad and I'm not really in a place to watch that. Casey and I were talking about this yesterday. We both haven't watched Nickel Boys because we don't want to be sad. But I hear it's phenomenal.

Interesting. Yeah. But is it as good as Dime China? Right? Which again, just to be clear is... Is Dime China also completely like POV shot like is it from yeah like coming out and trying to like feed no there's a whole thing and stuff there's a whole backstory about how like dime China like and Casey I'm not saying this is that your real life but it's like you take characters and you heighten it's like I'm not gonna act in your real life, but it's like you take characters and you heighten. It's like based on-

I'm not gonna act in this. Someone, some other actor will play this character. I'm kind of thinking it would be like the Steven Spielberg movie he made about like his entire life, which was crazy that he did that. Yeah. Oh my fucking God, what does she want? There's no way she's back.

All right. She's back for dessert, folks. What? Nothing, I had more time than, folks. What? Nothing, I had more time than I thought. What did I miss? You missed a lot. If you had even come three minutes ago, you wouldn't have missed that much. But you just missed the bulk of it. We just heard all of the Josger nominees.

Yeah, for best measure. I think my front runners for me personally are Doonpart Brown. I think my my front runners for me personally sure are Doing part Brown wait Can I can I tell Casey a little bit what that dime China is actually about because he was asking if it was just like Still shot of him exchanging coins for money. No, that wasn't what he was asking The movie is it shot in first person nickel boys is shot. Oh first person it's from from the point of view of of some of the characters. So is Dime China from my point of view, or I guess the character Dime China's point of view? The POV of Dime China, or of China, he just has dimes.

Dimes China is maybe a better title, but it already came out. It's from China's point of view, and it's mostly China trying to exchange dimes, corgis. I understood the entire concept of the movie. But there's a bunch of backstory about how China's dad was like a race car driver and they don't have a great relationship, and that's why he always keeps. But the one like tie between him and his dad is that he does keep walking around coins, and his dad is dead newly. And so there's a whole scene, he's trying to figure out

the will and there's a wake and he's grieving, but also he's trying to escape. When there's a will, there's a wake. I've always said that. Show me the one about a woman fucking a door again. Basically that's a Dora, so it's a Cinderella story where she falls in love with and kind of fucks and rides Yeah, or she literally slobs on a knob in the trailer you said I'm just catching grace up

Yeah, I mean if I can go back to doing what I was doing before which was going through the movies that I liked because that's What Jeff asked us to do? And I respect that. Thank you doing part Brown a front order for me also the sub stack because I'm really interested and actually would like to hear more about why The midway point of the movie is her killing herself and yeah, what happened? after that To be honest, the rest of it is just kind of like pretty shots. It's like a screensaver mostly after that.

Okay, that's cool. Yeah, that's interesting. Basically like from minute 55 to 90 is like a bathroom break. I love this. Okay. I like I like Wicked Smot mainly just because I think Kevin Spacey deserves a second chance. That's the worst reason you could like it. But yeah, that is one of my favorites, Wicked Smott.

So, Grace, it's basically... I got it. Got it. Um... Um... Yeah, like Marika, I like, uh, I like Doom Par Brown. I also like John Claive, and that's mostly because I came up with both those titles.

That's true. We should say that's why those are both Casey Donahue joints. Not sure if you can call your movies those, but... The entire time you were saying John Claive, even though I read that originally, I thought you were just saying the pope was named John. Like, J-O-H-N. And I was like, okay, so... That was a rejected pitch.

And that's like, G-E-OEO Enclave is actually an example of where Hollywood studio executive notes do lead to better movies, because it was going to be John Cleave. But then they were like, it needs to be more, you know, interesting. John Cleave feels pretty timely because the pope is sick. Yeah, presently. That's funny. Wait, what? I do think it would be funny if you were in Enclave and the movie ends with you, Jeffrey James, being elected pope.

Guys, I'm honored. I really didn't think this would happen. I don't know a lot of scripture, but I'm willing to learn. Is there a commissary? Do I get a stipend? I don't mind living in Rome. Is there a commiss. At the Conclave? Yeah.

Well, Jeff, if you saw a Conclave, which I know you didn't, a lot of the scenes take place in the Vatican cafeteria. Hilarious. You would love Conclave. Here's what I'll say about why I didn't watch Conclave. PG, I don't wanna see a PG movie about the papacy. I want that shit to be R.

Oh God. Ooh, okay, well. I don't think you- You ever see The Young Pope? I couldn't get past the name. You have a lot of reasons to not watch movies. I'm surprised you see any of these. How did you see Anora?

I wanted to see Anora, but then I kept making plans with people to see it, and they kept getting sick or canceling because they don't enjoy spending time with me. Why don't you go by yourself? I was going to, but then I also was like, my girlfriend and I wanted, she wanted to see it with me, so I was like, she'll be mad at me if I go see it by myself,

so I held out and then we both never saw it. I saw it. And you haven't heard from her in months. What was the, which one was the kidney stone one? A complete gallstone. Also, what happened to you in the kidney stone? I basically had like a testicular strain and then I was like, holy shit, I'm gonna lose a ball.

I think you were maybe having sympathy pains with me. No, with fucking Andrew Scott. Yeah, to be clear, the thing that I brought up was the headline that was going around all of Sunday was Andrew Scott passed his kidney stone at the 2020 SAG Awards, right as Laura Dern won. Left the ceremony in an ambulance with no one knowing. Ha ha ha ha.

Just that has been on my screen all day for two days. Every time I open my phone, it's another article that says Andrew Scott passed a kidney stone. That's funny. That's a movie. It's not nominated for Best Picture, though. So let's keep it moving, guys. Any other thoughts on the Jockers nominees?

Or is it time to put it to a vote? Are we just voting on best picture? Of course. Oh no, this is one of 30 categories. Yeah. Let's move on to sound. All right. Why don't you guys all individually text me,

because otherwise there's gonna be some peer pressure. Individually text me. I'm going to put this in the in the slack and you guys can read over them very quickly from the re familiarize yourself and vote by texting me just the title of your favorite best picture texting the title to. No way. No one's ever put it on my head. Grace isn't on Slack.

I'll just text her. Yeah, you could have sent it in the. In the chat on Zoom like that we're all in. Yeah, but then I had to slack it because otherwise the guy's sitting down wouldn't have it. Yeah, but then I had to slack it because otherwise the guys sitting down wouldn't have it. All right, I submitted my vote. All right. Grace is going to have no time to familiarize herself with this. I mean, we can we can also just wax any other deaths this year that you guys want to kind of lament.

It could be with movies or not. It could be the movies or not. It could be the death of joy on this show. Segments that kinda died on the Headgum podcast. What do you guys think? It's only best picture. Only best picture. What do you, you wanna vote on best visual effects for these fake movies?

It's just best picture. Best actress, best director, best best original screenplay best adapted screenplay Original song yeah, Oh dude part Brown had a great soundtrack brown track Yeah, this could have gone in a lot of fun this could have been so fun This is less fun only voting on best picture. It's 46 minutes We've been here and I have another segment by the way. I literally have to go out in a minute. I Think we've all submitted our yeah, we've all voted not everyone has Only one of you has

Okay there is Only one of you has. Okay. There is, everyone voted for a different movie, which means that I get to decide. I didn't, let me, I'm gonna, the winner is, and the jostler goes to, Dune Part Brown! Wow.

Casey Donahue, the EP and director storms the stage. A malnourished Jeffrey James tries to, but his ankles give out and he hits his jaw and head on the stage. Concussion number three. Casey, what do you have to say for your film? Wow, I really didn't expect this. You know, throughout all of the awards season,

John Clave and it's been neck and neck between Adora and John Clave. But here I am on Hollywood's biggest night and I gotta say, you know, I'm up here because I want to be one of the greats, you know? It's me, it's Michael Jordan. Excuse me, I'm giving greats. It's me, it's Michael Jordan. Excuse me, I'm giving my speech. It's me, it's Michael Jordan, it's Michael Phelps,

it's Michael Fassbender, and it's Michael B. Jordan. And we're all chasing greatness, and I'm the first one to get it. And I'll see you at the top, boys. We cut to ambient shots of his competitors. Most of them are proud of him and cheering him on, but Kevin Spacey is pissed and his date is 16 years old. All right, that was the Joscers ceremony.

Guys, bring it into our last segment, and Marika, if you have to leave, leave whenever you need to. This is acceptance speeches, all right? It's a segment where we're all gonna kind of give an improvised acceptance speech. I did not know Grace and Brad were gonna be here, so I can come up with something for you guys,

or you can just take one of these as well and run. So here we go. Marika, let's start with yours, if you can get this one into Edgewise before you jet, or do you have to go right now? I think I have to go right now. Oh my god. Okay.

Great speech. Anything? Oh yeah, that was my speech. Thank you very much. The time is really exciting to get this award. Thank you so much. Thank you to the Jocademy. I'll see you so much. Thank you to the J'Academy. I'll see you next time.

That was an arrogance to say in an acceptance speech. I can't hear Jeff, which is really alarming, honestly. You can't hear me? No, I can. What was your reaction? You could have done the acceptance speech. It's been a minute. I need to know what your reaction was.

I said the last thing you said was, I'll see you guys next time, which is pretty arrogant to say at the Academy Awards. Yeah, that was the point. Okay, bye. This is crazy. Bye. She had the time. All right, well, I'm going to give her acceptance speech to either Brad or Grace. Who wants it more? Who wants it less? All right, Grace, here we go. You just won the Oscar, but you don't think it was enough.

You also want a briefcase for the award. Who wants it more? Who wants it less? Alright, Grace, here we go. You just won the Oscar, but you don't think it was enough. You also want a briefcase full of money. Okay. Thank you to the Academy for this Oscar. Frankly, I don't think it's enough. I would also like a briefcase full of money. Whoa.

She nailed it. Not really, she's supposed to extrapolate and make it like a comedy bit. I nailed it. You just repeated what I said. You have to admit. I don't. It's an improv exercise. You just read a line.

Casey, if this happened on your set, you would scream. I'd be happy that she stuck to the script. Checked every box, actually. Casey, if this happened on your set, you would scream. I'd be happy that she stuck to the script. Checked every box, actually. All right, Brad, you just won the Oscar, but you don't think it was enough. You also want a briefcase full of money.

And then, Grayson, post if you could just cut your speech. That'd be great. Oh my God, this is so unexpected to win a Jawsker for my role in Wicked Part 2 as one of the little monkey guys flying around. They didn't pay me very much and I just had a very expensive procedure done on my nutsack a few days ago so I could really use a little bit more cash. A branch hit my garage last night from the wind and kind of caved the roof in. And I have people coming to look at it today. They're going to give a quote. So like, if you guys could front me a little bit of the cash actually. I can't talk about nutsacks.

So you can. All right, Casey. Yeah, you're accepting the Oscar, but you just sharded your white tux and you know that the second you turn to go off stage, the entire industry is gonna see the skid mark. Why would you turn? Wow, I can't believe this. Oh. Oh. Sorry, my stomach's been bothering me all night.

Why would he admit that? But I thought it was nerves. I thought it was nerves. I think it's something else, but I'm so thrilled to win. Oh, I'm thrilled to win. The butterflies are becoming thick brown caterpillars again. And I wish I could stand up here and talk to you guys all night long, just me standing in front of you, facing you for the rest of the night, telling you how grateful and thankful I am to have won this award. And I got to name everybody involved. Amir. Thank you. Jack. Brad. Hey, man, they're playing you off. You have to walk back.

You have to walk this way just for the TV production. I love you guys and I wanna keep my eyes on you, so I'm gonna walk backwards off the stage so I can still look at you all applauding me for my great film. Thank you, thank you. As you back away backstage, You're plotting me for my great film. Thank you, thank you. As you back away backstage, you trip

and your ass hits the ground, splattering the sharp through your pants leg. Oh God. Everyone gassed. Spilling open like a fucking pinata filled with chili. All right, Amir, if you think it's so funny, why don't you go next? with chili. All right Amir if you think it's so funny why don't you go next?

It's just adding to the visual I wasn't saying that I wanted to do it too. No you're ridiculing Casey I think you did a pretty good job. No I'm not. I'm supposed to be the most... Adding to the scene. Exciting moment of my life. And now I'm shit everywhere. Yeah, sharting specifically. Tore his heart out for you. The emotion was real. That was Meisner. Tore his colon out for you. All right, Amir, you just won the Oscar,

but earlier in the ceremony, you slapped Conan because he made a joke about Avi Tall. Yeah. Weird times for everybody. Super sorry for overreacting. Conan, I'm still such a huge fan. Honestly, I grew up on your everything. The Simpsons, the SNL sketches.

Like, I look up to you comedically since I was such a young boy. I don't know why I flipped out. Honestly, I thought the joke was good. I just felt like I had to defend her for whatever fucking reason. This whole show feels so political and charged. And I think that got to me.

The camera cuts to Conan sitting next to Avi Tall with his arm around her in the audience. No, yeah, that makes sense. You're tall, you're handsome, you're funny. I got this though. I did win the award for best movie. I do think this is honestly more of like a political thing. Where like, it seems like...

The presenters come out, like, the year La La Land, they thought it won. They're like, we're so sorry and we can't even say this has never happened before. By the way, I didn't even win. I'm not kidding. A Dora won, the one about the woman fucking a door. So I just wanted to get on stage and say thank you to Conan. Standing ovation, but everyone's not facing you. They're facing Conan and Avital as they make out.

The masturbating bear runs on stage and mauls you. Guys, this has been the first annual Joscers. You haven't done this before? We did the head goskers, but that's podcast awards. This is like a fictitious jacademy award. That was easy. Plugs, what do you guys have going on?

What do you wanna point the people towards? Let's make it as ceremonious as possible, please. Nothing of no substance. I have something of of substance to plug This Monday go to Casey makes movies comm for a major announcement Is it possible that's already out well this episode comes out this Friday Yeah, right yes Monday Monday Monday is the meet three three 25

Casey makes movies comm for a major announcement the perfect the day after the Oscars guys remember So after the Oscars go to Casey makes movies comm The day after the Oscars guys remember so after the Oscars go to Casey makes movies calm Let's skip a mirror Brad. What do you got? Anyone a fan a king of the hill? David after Monday Only time I've ever seen it was to guest on you. Yeah. Yeah, go check out the hill king podcast Jeff has been on an episode Okay after Monday on Tuesday go over to YouTube type it in there will be a new episode there

Fun fact the day I recorded that episode with you when you got the concuss Yeah, so also the day that my co-host Chris Had his his son Hank and we should say that his son was being birthed as we were recording. Yeah, he kind of skipped it Yeah, did he name his son Hank after the podcast? Yeah Wow Yeah, not even Henry straight-up Hank. Oh, it is Henry, but he goes by good Hank King of the Hill reference Grace what he got? Oh Don't mind me. I'm just happy to be here. Great. And we'll see you guys again next week.

At Jeffrey James on Instagram. I am Jeffrey James on TikTok. Follow for weekly sketches over there. Amir, do you have something? Yeah, yeah I did. But it seems like I'm more of an afterthought. We'll see you guys again next week. Thanks so much for supporting the show and we'll-

Hey, Jeff. What? What? I've really been enjoying your work. You've really been trying. And it's evident through the last few weeks, well, longer than the last few weeks of the podcast, I've sincerely felt like being so close to it, but even having some distance.

Like, no matter where I'm standing, I see the effort that you're putting in. And with your TikToks, you've really been committing to making a video every week this year. It's the end of February. I'm, I'm, you know, I'm so proud of you. That was a HidGum Original. bunch of other questions and we also may or may not test their general trivia knowledge. Whether it's one of my sworn enemies like Brittany Broski or Drew Fualow or my actual biological mother Kelly, my guests and I are just after the truth and if we find it great and if not, no worries. So subscribe to So True on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Pocket Casts or wherever you get your podcasts and watch video episodes on the So True with Caleb Heron YouTube channel.

New episodes drop every Thursday. Love ya.