The Headgum Podcast - 253: Corporate Jingle

Episode Date: May 2, 2025

Geoff is joined in Studio H by Anya, Allie, Amir, and Grace, to discuss Anya Business, play Name That Tune: Royalty Free Edition, and find out how long it would take to produce enough hair grease to fry a single corndog!» FOLLOW Geoff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geoffreyjames/» FOLLOW Amir on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/amir/» FOLLOW Anya on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radiofreeanya/» FOLLOW Allie on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/gluingshitonpaper/» FOLLOW Grace on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chorlesborkley/Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. With new McValue and McDonald's, you get more than you expect. So after a long day, buy a double cheeseburger and add a McChicken for a dollar because saving with deals is always on the menu with new McValue. Prices and participation may vary. Valid for item of equal or lesser value. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. In a market like Los Angeles, in a market like Portland, right?

These are constantly appreciating housing markets. And so if you don't maximize that Brad Tenshel, that Amir Tenshel, if you don't end 500 grand higher than what you bought in at, that's a fucking failure on Brad's part. Points on the Brad end. I don't think so because guess what inflation outpaced your ass, right? What are the value ads for the house of Brad's right?

Square footage, extra square footage, retiling the bathroom, right? Picking out a fucking grout. Are we pre laying the tiles brad are we buying in sheets You're a little off key. I mean, I like the energy. Not really good. I just am saying like if you want notes or if you had notes. Nice.

Explosion. We've got a lot to get to. We're missing our fourth. She'll be here in no time it seems. Who is it? Y'all are great. I tried to get a better fourth. We got Anya. It's tough. This is sort of the core five at this point. At this point meaning in the last month? Yeah, I feel like it's rounding into a shape where... Sorry but Bond of the Week.

Oh, Jalen Durin. That's good. Who's that? He's the center for the Detroit Pistons. Pistons, I was going to say. Yeah, kind of an exciting time for the Pistons. Mine is also basketball related, but I'll save it for the end. Allie?

Oh, okay. Charles Barkley. That's funny. Why Charles? He's the best. Grace? Oh, I got a second alley on that one. Right?

Yeah. Charles Borkley? Right. Your Instagram handle is Charles Borkley. Oh yeah. Is he your number one player? Well, it's LeBron James already, but like... Then why are you a Clippers fan? Yeah.

Then why are you a Clippers fan? LeBron James is your favorite player? Yeah. Then why are you a Clippers fan? Because I can't be a Lakers fan. Why? I just like Lakers. That's fine. If you're a LeBron fan, you're already a Lakers fan.

Lakers fan, exactly right. I root for the Lakers because LeBron's on the Lakers. See, that's fine. Here's the thing with the Lakers is that in time, if he wins more rings with them, I will make my peace with it because I am very much for him winning more championships. So if the Lakers were in the finals you'd root for them? Well it depends who they're against but probably not. It's more just like in a few years we'll be about...

You just said you'd want them to win another championship. Yeah, I don't want the Lakers. I really don't. I hate that he went to the Lakers. And how'd you land on Charles Borkley? Because Charles Borkley was taken. It felt spiritually correct. Uh oh. Jawline's looking great, Jeff.

Really? It's been mewing. It's been mewing. My jaw's actually injured. I mean, I'm obviously not on my... My jaw's been messed up for the past 24 hours. Jack Bauer style. So this just happened?

Yeah, I don't know what happened. I don't know if I have bruxism or what. You have a grind guard. Let's talk about it. He doesn't. Let's talk about grind guards. But I'm open to it. Let's talk about you and Heath.

Ledger, what's your bond? You never said it. My bond? I'll see your, what'd you say, Helen Durham? Nope. Jackson Duran. Jaylen. Brown.

Duh-nuh, duh-nuh. No. Jackson Durand. Jalen. Brown. Denit, denit. No, my Bond of the Week is Michael fucking Jordan. Oh. So two members of the dream team were suggested today. We know he can act. He has a reel, for real. Space Jam. Post-Bitn. I would love it to be like Space Jam, but instead of Bugs Bunny, it's like Q, right?

And M, Golden Pussy, whatever their name is. It'd be like Mike being Mike, but with a 007 gun and a ton of gambling debt. Listen, I love it. I wouldn't even mind if there's a subplot where his highly customized Chicago mansion goes unsold for decades. Isn't that amazing?

Awful house, by the way. It's big. It's a great virtual tour. I never saw the virtual tour. I saw his, like, custom gates. I saw the living room with, like, the 40,000-foot ceilings. I just... It's a little tacky. It's without taste. Ali, how do you still have. Songs, a designer's eye.

Oh my, well, I mean, I love him. He's not my favorite of the Bulls, but I love him. Who's your favorite? Derek Rose. What? Derek Rose? No, I'm a Steve Kerr girl. Wow, you know I'm friends with his son. Wait, are you really? Yeah. My dad went to college with him,

so that's also what's coming from a place of, well, do you want to hear a story? Sure. This will all be cut probably. I can't imagine the episode that started yet. Well, I know that's true. Well, really fast, my one bull story that Amir has already heard me say a couple of times over the past couple of years.

But on my first birthday- Steve Kerr showed up with a black eye. Yes. And it's because Michael Jordan punched showed up with a black eye. Yes. And it's because Michael Jordan punched him in a practice that day. Yes. And then he went to your first birthday party? Yes, and he went to my birthday.

Yes, he went to my first birthday party the next day, and my dad was like, dude, what happened? And Steve Kerr said, I was punched by a gad. That's funny. I've never been more honored to have a Shiner, sir. You should have been the last one. As he raises a Shiner box. Oh, the birthday party.

Yeah, that part got cut, but that's what he did after. That's crazy. I really would love if he showed up, yeah, with that Shiner and a case of Shiner. That's probably, like, the most Chicago thing about me. Is that Steve Kerr showed up to your dad's birthday? No, it was mine. How did they know each other? It was mine. I was one.

Sorry, your birthday. You guys knew each other? So did you know Matt? No, I've never met him, but my dad and Steve Kerr both went to Arizona. And they would play pickup basketball together. That's amazing. Wow. You look like a... Gorgeous. Radiant. Chateau Marmont rock star today. This is the coolest you've ever looked. This is how I want to look. Now you have a bounce in your step, and I'm not Vermont rock star today. This is the coolest you've ever looked. This is how I wanna look. I love it.

Now you have a bounce in your step, and I'm not loving it. Please welcome to the show Anya Kenypskaya. She's a problem. Is my mic on? Everything's on. See, if I had those sunglasses in the look, I could lean back and be like, it's all on, baby.

Everything's on you. If someone else was behind the desk, I could lean back and say it's all on, baby. Everything's on, yeah. If someone else was behind the desk, I could lean back and say it's all on, baby. Are those glasses new? Or you've always had them, but they haven't been blue. Sorry, the show doesn't come to an absolute halt just because there's kind of a wrestler WWF entrance, right? There actually is still a Word of the Day.

I have a pitch. For Word of the day? Yeah. Must be better than a little weird. Policu- Policu- Policu-less. Meaning?

When your polycule is being ridiculous. Ha ha ha ha. It's really funny to have someone guest on the show who actively listens to the show because they have to. Yeah. Makes you a really good contributor. Out of obligation. It's pretty good. It's because they have to. Yeah. It makes you a really good contributor. It's pretty good. It's a good first attempt. It's a good like first... It's like a vomit draft, right?

Yeah. Okay. I'll work on it. Because what you're really looking for something... You're really looking for a word like grout side. Grout side? Grout side? Grout side, yeah. So basically it's when you're sealed out of your own house. And your name is Grace? No. What's the GR when you're sealed out of your own house. And your name is Grace?

No. What's the GR? The doors are like grouted shut. And you can't get back in. Sort of like locked out because of your cocks out. Sort of like what happened to me last week. You got locked out with your cocks out? I got grouted outside.

Oh no. How about that? It was some kind of practical joke. I don't know if it was Misty's doing or if it was my enemies. Do you guys have words of the week? I don't, it's not generally supposed to be something where we all contribute, but if you want. No.

Also no. Outside. Grace, this made me think of you. This is true. Do you want to read this out loud? I'd love, sorry, hang on. Just for the audio listeners. People are scared to say stuff, but I'm not. And that's why only three people like me. This is true. Do you want to read this out loud? I'd love... Sorry, hang on. Just for the audio listeners.

People are scared to say stuff, but I'm not, and that's why only three people like me. And this is from the account called WordPorm. And did you misspeak or is it P-O-R-M? It is kind of a vision test. I think it is... It is Porm with an M. R into an N looks like an M. It is M.

So it is an R into an M. Does this ring true to you or? And of course I do work on the girls on poem. Pretty good. That is, it does feel true to me. I have three friends and that's plenty. Let's name them Okay, and how deep are they? How deep are your friends?

So the Bee Gees cuz it's awful. Really? Thought it was good What was the question Oh, no Keep looking at my wife. Oh No He wasn't rolling on the video the audio was audios is there uh-huh? Videos not my whole entrance sort of a big reveal. Yeah Am I wrong or is it yeah? I could say it wasn't I'm sorry. I'm sorry No, you shouldn't know it gets you know the last bus for him. No, I appreciate it for you. Thank you Thank you for apologize. No, you shouldn't apologize. You're the last person. No, I appreciate it. And for you.

Thank you. Thank you for apologizing. What made you know? Honestly, a feeling. And then I kept looking for the red light. Yeah. And I didn't see it, but I really had a feeling because we were rushed to kind of set up and I wasn't here and like he had to come get me and I was in a meeting with Marty and he

looked so upset and stressed and I said that's the kind of energy he brings when he doesn't turn on the video. I thought we were in H. I thought we were going to be in H, which I'm really used to kind of making sure is all set. I know. Ultimately it is a mirrored, completely identical setup, but I get the vibes of one. It's entirely different controls. It's very, very similar.

And on this board you have to make sure that, like, different buttons are pushing. The video is identical between H and G. So, like, he's right that the audio board is a little bit different. I nailed that, though. I actually did the harder thing. Are you recording video now? Yeah. What do you think you'll have on the YouTube? Should I redo my entrance where I had the pep in my step?

Yeah, maybe. No, you know what? I'll exit. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, what should we have up? what? I'll exit. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. What should we have up? Maybe you're, do you have your like W9? Just a tax form?

We're not doing that. What do you mean we're not doing that? I wouldn't mind just kind of, I mean, cause we can say it. I hate that he knows the zip code. Egg on my face. Why do you know that off by heart? I hate that he knows the zip code Egg on my face. Why do you know that with my heart? Yeah, it's a really easy Not really. I know the zip codes cuz I'm always on Zilla Yeah, he is like a like a real estate savant. Well you live we wish I feel like we can say it pretty close

And you're often there so even if people don't know you're an Addy, they can find that Zaddy. I am not often there. I said, AKA Nick. He really is never there. We don't drink anymore. That's cool. It's really just for Casey's party that one time. No, sometimes I go to Thursday night karaoke.

What's your karaoke song? I don't do it. I just... I just applaud. You were good at the retreat last year with Casey. I think I was pretty awful. That was the one time I did... Oh, you did Jackson? Yes. You collected all the grease from your hair. You have around a gram of oil per day.

And after about two years, you'd have enough to fry a single corn dog. And frying a whole turkey would take about 27 years of collected hair grease. And if you kept gathering it for over 500 years, you'd have about 60 gallons, which is enough oil to deep fry an entire pig. Wow. Don't do that.

I guess my question is, should we? I guess my question is, you said there was a segment that was for me, was that it? That's later. Oh. That's later, it's gonna be really good. Not this one. Can your hair be so greasy that you can literally

fucking squeegee a drop of oil out of it? A gram, they're saying, a gram, yeah. I think so, mine's too dry. But it'll be greasy eventually, but I can't imagine wringing out oil. For a corndog though. The payoff is there, so why not try? I like that they said single corndog.

Don't try to put two in there. I misunderstood the video. I thought it was going to be, when I was half watching it, before I thought it was gonna be a corndog of hair that was fried. And I don't know which one is worse. That's much worse. That's worse. That's much worse.

That's worse. That's worse. Knowing, cause you might've had, there's probably no way, right? But there is a, it's possible that we've all had a corn dog that was deep fried in hair grease. Is hair grease the same as like having an oily like forehead?

Is it the same oil? Like your body can only produce one style of oil? Are you asking about the differences in secretions between the two? Yeah, and is it the same as the fat in your body? Does every body have oil or is it just the ability to create oil? But is secreted grease from the skin...

Oil? Fat? I don't think so. Yeah, I don't know. It's a lipid of some kind, but it doesn't mean that it's from body fat, right? I don't know. It's definitely not your body fat. Meaning?

Like, if you take an Oxy-Pad and dab your oily T-zone, what is that oil? I don't think it counts towards the corndog. But I assume the hair grease is that grease. Because you would have to be like, yeah, and collect that. Like, new novel title, let's just get through it until we get to the break, then some good stuff's really gonna happen.

It's called The Impermeability of False. Basically it's a two page novel about how lying is without risk. I don't care for you. Guys, imagine if there was an edible that was so loomy that it didn't get you too stoned, it got you feeling grand. Right? Enter Lumi Gummies. Consistent, mellow, and super delicious,

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I got a haircut earlier today. This is the freshest my hair will ever be shorn on the show. Are you happy with it? Yeah, it's all right. That was a loaded question. The first, right after the cut. Oh, are you happy with it? It's not a, I haven't fully embraced it yet.

Is that what you asked for? This is what I asked for. I'm sorry, is that what not a... I haven't fully embraced it yet. This is what I asked for, but I need to get a shower in. I need to, like, do a full, a few days of that non-shampooed, greasy hair look. I think you look great. Thank you. Despite what Grace is implying, I think you look great. How much did it cost?

It's 50, but then I took 10. ["Walks Full of Grains"] How much did it cost? It's 50, but then I took 10. Oh. Wok's full of grains and a ton of oatmeal Consistent sea of sand Bowls of burnt rice Thousand lots of fish tossed Consistency of sand Moistened glands Rice comes from a can

Rice from can Ruin colonel sizzle in a hot wok Burnt rice pieces singe inside a huge pan Call the grits you found inside of a can Tasteless rice that feels like eating beach sand Using jasmine rice to tickle your glands. Sticking up your middle finger at chefs. Telling people never to trust those men.

Wild rice that heats into a burnt paste. Burnt white rice is similar to thigh shape. From the first day we suckled at Mother. And slurped down that most sacred milk. There is more to enjoy, there is sauce made of soy, Grains to burn, GI tracks that will churn. There is char and such to glob onto, Small burnt ends that have yet to be had. The wok temperature's high, cauterized grains are nigh, the oil sears as brown rice becomes That is the burning of rice.

And you can trust in love. Through the nasty of chefs. Through joy and fear. As the hoisin globs onto the Wok's tall side. It's the burning. The burning of rice Whole thing or we're gonna take a break? Flavor bank, rough grains you made from bomba

Broken cow rose rice that tastes like school chalk Overcooked white rice that's served with fish sauce Birquarn rice that turns into an oatmeal Loose basmati packed into your boxers Using rice to make it seem like you're hung Forgetting that that rice was cooked in hot pans Scalding not just rice but also your glands Nobu's restaurants never should have happened

Ugly omakase leaves me saddened Wolfgang F-ck will be exposed for bad fare Gordon Ramsay kinda deserves the chair David Chang taunts me with his soft rice. I think that every chef should be without rights. Thomas Keller has perfected no food. Just like Mario Vitale, he's a bad dude. It's the burning of rice!

And it tastes like beach! That sandy, sandy rice. It provides our joy. We should burn all chefs in the public square. In the public square! In a massive... a big walk of shacks! Casey just texted me, how long are you going to be doing this?

It's a good sound proofing test. That was really good. That was really good. Is it Elton John? Oh, why didn't you wear the fit? Elton John wrote that song? There's no way. He did the Lion King soundtrack. The original one or the recent one? The original one. The original one. And by extension, the recent one. This one said it was by... Tim Rice?

Maybe he just did a couple of them. Oh, Tim Rice. Carmen Twilley. Tim Rice is a Disney song maker. This says it's by Lebo M. Carmen Twilley. Oh, you know what? And that's true. Elton John just did Can You Feel the Love Tonight,

and I think a couple others. I watched the reunion show. Of? Of The Lion King. What does that mean? The Lion King reunion show? They did an anniversary show? Sorry, who's reuniting and where?

We've got James L. Jones, we've got Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Well, not... All right, not J.E.J. But everybody else. The voice actors at Hollywood Bowl. It's on Disney Plus. I watched it one time because I wanted to see Northwest sing. Northwest what? Hello, everyone.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. I'm commandeering the episode. Northwest? We could talk about this any time. I know Sing. I feel like we should come together to do these segments that I have prepared. Sing's, I just can't wait to be king at the end. Try to enjoy.

Just did on having a different costume than everybody else. Did you sound good? No. Is it that I'm at the desk? Is it that I'm on this side of the room? Or you guys just feel like you have some kind of power to act like I'm not back here? Act like I'm not coming up with segments for Joy and Entertainment? Yes. I said you can trust me through Joy and Fear.

Jeff, I thought you did a great job. I almost wish that Chicken was here for this one. Yeah, that would have been amazing. Oh, you could have been amazing. Oh, you could have done that. Yeah. I could have put like a strawberry jam on her. I've never heard Ali just do this.

Sort of like a call to action for like a mass killing of chefs in a town square. Just a profession, yeah, in a way. You've been sort of trending towards your hatred of chefs in the race songs. It's like cook aside or something. Can I ask a question? You may if it's engaging with me across the table, because what I feel like just happened, which was unfair to me.

Okay, we were talking across the table. Was that everyone, that's a coffee table, not the desk. Oh, coffee what? Table. My favorite position is GEO. I do have a question for you sincerely, which is how do you choose what song will be next? And which ones have been left kind of on the cutting room floor?

Ooh. You know, it's funny, which is how do you choose what song will be next and which ones have been left kind of on the cutting room floor? Ooh. You know, it's funny, I always told myself if anyone asked about my process I wouldn't answer any questions, right? Because I try to let the audience just kind of take it in as what it is, which is high art. And sorry, I wasn't even close to done.

I know, but what about when you- You don't know then. You did talk about your process because you said you didn't play guitar. No, because you said I know. What's that what about when you you don't know that you did talk about your process You said I know guitar What's that you said that you used to take a break from writing so you could play guitar that is nothing to do with writing Where's your process parodies? What are you talking carry on playing?

An article that said that used it was a far to close more of a list yeah bouncing back and forth between your guitar It was a blisticle someone wrote an article about you. Yeah, sister. Yeah That's not what you're asking about It was a ballistical. Someone wrote an article about you? His sister. Yeah. Uh, that's not what you're asking about. You're asking about my process. You guys want to know how you landed on the Lion King soundtrack? I woke up and just had Circle of Life stuck in my head. And then I was like...

Today? Yeah. You're joking. This came together just today? Thanks for wow making it sound Yes, yeah, it would take hours and hours. It did take two hours I had to cancel therapy because of this so did you really it's its own form of I think you had gone to therapy You would have remembered to turn the video on from the start I probably agree with you because I also would have gotten here sooner actually

as your therapist ever watched The headgun podcast great question you want me to ask her and get back to you next week? Well, it won't be next week. It'll be a week after. Oh my god, for one second I thought you fell asleep. I sort of did for a second. I hope that's what that was as well. And I came back out. Ever, yeah. Um, do we want to get to the segment or are we all just gonna be speaking in this low-energy, jab, negative feedback room? Have there been any songs that you've scrapped? There was, oh yeah, there's been a ton that I tried to write and it just wasn't there.

But that one, this one just came to you in a day. This one, well it took me two hours. This one just came to you in two hours. I mean there's a lot of original lyrics. Do you guys wanna like talk through the lyrics? No, no, no, that's okay. Original lyrics? We're usually ready to move on.

Like I mean, you don't just come up with this in like 30 minutes, flavor banked up grains you made from bomba. My favorite part was when I thought you were gonna say beans, but you said beach. You said beans. No, it tastes like beach because it's the consistency of sandwich. No, you don't understand, otherwise you wouldn't ask questions. I didn't ask a question.

I just really thought tastes like be... would end in beans. But rice doesn't taste like Well, because it's like a massive walk that the chefs are being what do you have against chefs? I just feel like they don't know how to cook rice. Oh, no, they under cook the rice. They overcook it No, they perfectly cook it and I'm saying that's not good enough. Right, they undercook it. To my standards, but. That's literally what I just said. Yes, correct.

So I'm kind of with you. That's absolutely, I appreciate it, but I feel like you could be louder so that they start to get on your side. I'm not 100% sure that you're recording my mic. Yeah, it does sound softer than everybody else's. I agree with you. Oh my God.

And that's fine. How's that? A little better. Louder. There I am. Yes. And that's fine. Pump it louder. little better louder? I am yes, and that's fine You know who will love me being really quiet on this episode the commenters that hate me. Oh, this one's for them We are going to have to go into our next segment, which is our on your segment. Oh, no, this is sorry bad news for the commenters that hate me Oh, no. This is, sorry.

Bad news for the commenters that hate me. This isn't Nanya business. This is Anya business. How did you know that? It was about Anya. And the way he said, Nanya just made it feel like it would be a pun on Anya. Or a pun-ya for short.

We're gonna get deep into Anya's business for the next 10 minutes These are the 36 questions that from the New York Times that couples are supposed to use to fall in love But we're all gonna pose them at you and get answers into the deep crags of your psyche and mind's eye You I'm thrilled and not nervous at all. They're pretty actually impersonal all things. Yeah I have a lot of like issues that are just gonna get worse over time. Yeah, one of them is not taking the show seriously. It's over?

That's it? Yeah, forget it. Oh my god! We ended up having a chronic illness and I... I just feel like you're kind of making a mockery of me, you're making a mockery of the segment, so just forget it, right? If anything, I'm being too sincere and it's boring, which is a fine reason to move along. No, if anything, I should have done this with Grace, because she's our guest and...

Yeah, do it with Grace. No, now it's too late. Anya Business, featuring Grace. Why don't you hop along? A few questions for each person, we all get to know each other. That sounds awesome too, that's better. That way you're not in tear gazing.

No, cause I'm only interested in Allie, Anya and Grace. Cut my address out of the earlier episode. And then paste it somewhere else. Welcome to Name That Tune, Royalty Free Edition. All right, this is gonna be, it's like, yeah, it's just like Name That Tune, royalty free edition. All right, this is gonna be, it's like, yeah, it's just like Name That Tune, but because Marika's gonna freak out if we play real music, I'm bending to her will.

Wet blanket, Marika doesn't wanna pay thousands of dollars. And we'll just have to do royalty free for this. All right, ready? So just, I'm gonna play these short tunes and you guys tell me what what the track is called. Happy Sunday Picnic. Jazz Sting. I was gonna say Jazz Affair. I was gonna say Jazz Affair. I was gonna say Jazz Affair. I was gonna say Jazz Affair.

I was gonna say Jazz Affair. I was gonna say Jazz Affair. I was gonna say Jazz Affair. I mean obviously we won't get it exactly right. They were all wrong. I didn't guess. You don't have to get them exactly right. Okay.

I guess tell us who got the closest. Okay. Should I guess? Anya? Yeah. Corporate jingle 32nd commercial. You know what, I'll give it to Grace actually. Cause it is, the answer we were looking for is fast jazz intro three royalty-free music That's close by motion array. Yeah jazz. So you would have guessed motion array Yeah

Right Corporate jinglele Funky. Oh yeah. 30 seconds. Funky blues riff. Two. All super incorrect. 70s funk interlude.

I mean, I might give it to you. Wow. You're looking for a let's groove, vamos, 80s disco funk, R&B, lo-fi playlist, car warm up and drive. I said that. You said a decade. Yeah. You said a decade and you said funk, didn't you? I said funk. I said funk.

Yeah. I said funk. I said funk. Thank you. Yeah. Wow. This one sucks The new dog ram

It's not pickup and if you're watching football with the boys you can do that too It can do that too! The truck can watch football with the boys? Yeah, I also had a question about that. I was gonna say that they could just lift that whole thing. Yes! A rock and roll truck full Tuesday riff. Action sports rock snowboarding snowboarding, action. Allie? Rumble, rumble, showtime three.

Anya? That's the number. Let's rock corporate jingle. Nothing's going to be a corporate jingle. No, I'll give it to Anya. We were looking for rock intro royalty free stock music. Good job. Oh man.

Why are you proud? Can I ask a question? intro royalty free stock music. Good job. Oh man. Why are you crying? Can I ask a question? Oh. Very spooky. Hate this one. I'm not too right sis. It's funny.

That's funny. Yeah. It's feeling my thunder a little bit. What does that mean? No, it's just she, cause she did like a rice parody and I feel like as time has gone on since she did that, I feel like robbed of something

This is good druthers music it is you do you want to give your druthers? No, I've talked a lot already grace Yeah, don't forget to get Don't forget to do my shitty idea. Before you came in, he handed me a book called Braiding Sweetgrass. And I thought it was to do with my name, because people have likened my name, Grace Harper, to Grass Harper before. My first instinct was like, oh this has something to do with that. He walked away for all of three seconds and then he came back and took the book off me and put it back in his backpack now I don't know what I

don't know what and this was while audio was rolling but no cameras this is before anything had started me and Ali were having a lovely chat and he but I don't know what he was doing yeah we kind of thought it was a gift and then it turns out he was just showing her for a minute yeah I don't holiday piano yeah Yeah. Holiday piano intrigue, royalty free stock music. Someone said ooh. Someone said ooh. Al. Alie?

Gallerina nightmare solo lyrical dance interpretive. Anya? Okay. All aboard Christmas ride through the mountains. Grace? Corporate jingle. Yeah. Grace? Okay, Anya all aboard Christmas ride through the mountains corporate jingle Grace piano adventure midnight nutcracker mystery child dance child modern classical royalty free music guys you're overthinking

Really over. I'm glad you picked ones with awesome names. I think out of all of them, not someone I could dance to the most. Not this one? I'm mere sleeping again. Meditative, yeah. Do you need to hear this one again? Yeah, it was kind of short. It's just a sting? Okay. Um, hip hop based sting party five seconds.

I mean, yeah, I'm going to give it to you right up top. That was it. Holy shit. She's spiked. Hip hop rap music intro royalty free download no copyright content. Wow. Sting. So she said hip hop sting. She got some other words. Yeah. Wow. Really good. Sting. So she's at hip hop sting.

She got some of the words. Yeah. This was really fun. Still happening. Okay. Millennial folk wedding corporate jingle. Jack Johnson comes in a sock. Swings it around and then puts the sock on.

Last family breakfast before divorce. Grace? Oh, pass. Anya, I'll give it to you. It was music intro, acoustic inspiring folk, no copyright, 30 seconds by infraction. By infraction? Oh yeah. Okay.

This is cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I will say. I have a playlist on my Spotify that someone else made that's called Songs That make Europeans lose their shit And you so you were right and that's what they also We love those songs Berlin club Enthusiasts Berlin is generous for that 32nd

Jack Johnson came in a sock again by accident Ali Berlin question mark you wish Welcome to Oslo. Enough. Grace? Paul E. Beat, Fun Time. Anya? Um, Y2K Dance, Techno House.

It was actually Rajasthani folk music, hashtag song. Whoa. Rajasthani. music, hashtag song. Whoa. Rajasthani. So the accent you did is retroactively actually offensive. Retro-actually offensive. He was doing German. No. What was I doing?

German? Yeah. Northern Indian. Really? You're canceled, man. You were doing such a bad Northern Indian accent and you're canceled. Are you kidding me?

That's really good. and you're canceled. Are you kidding me? That's really good. Wow. It's good to have a comedian in the room. Thank you. I bet if he got asked 36 questions, all the answers would be funny. I'd be freaking out if I was Anya, to be honest. I want people to be like, oh my God.

I'd be losing my shit if I was Anya right now. Leisure suit Larry flips a coin and enters a club. I'd be losing my shit if I was Anya right now. Leisure suit Larry flips a coin and enters a club. He sees a wet white woman wondering why. As he leaves the club, the coin comes back down, delayed by an hour and a half, and it goes down his throat. What happened to the wet white woman in your footage? Anyone else have any guests? That wasn't close.

Not at all. It's Jazz Big Band Audio Logo. Do you know what Leisure Suit Larry is? No, is that a character? Have you guys heard of it? Leisure Suit Larry. I thought you made that up. It's a video game from like the late 80s early 90s where the goal was to have sex

So you walk around talk to people? And I was playing this as like an eight-year-old and to like verify that you were 18 at the time because you it was a Pornographic game they asked you questions about like Who would you have for dinner? And if you don't say like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, then you're too young to play the game. Yeah, you're like Big Bird. Yes, exactly. They're like, you're a child.

You can't play this game. Wait, why did they, they, be your parents allow you to play that? My parents didn't know slash care. They were Israeli immigrants. You had older siblings? Yeah, older brothers. I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane. Do you have siblings? Older brother. Same. I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!

Do you have siblings? Older brother. Same. Same. Today's sound of the day is... enough. Alright? That's enough. I like that one.

Today's sound of the day is... that's enough. What? Plugs! Of course plugs! How fucking crazy! That's enough What What you guys have going on not much kind of this This is all this is your main thing. We're going to Palm Springs next week Oh, yeah, yeah Marty invited me cuz like multiple people dropped out Micah dropped out

And he still didn't even invite me then which if he had asked Me then I probably could have gone. Oh, yeah, he invited me this morning and I'm like, no, I can't go now Probably the last people that backed out made it so that we couldn't return the room So it's like we have a spare room Why don't why doesn't Jeff come along? But what am I gonna do you guys are doing like team building stuff? Even when I went to Phoenix or wherever we were it it's like, I shouldn't be here. Interesting. It was nice to have you though.

It was fun, but I'm like... You don't think you're part of the team? What's that? You don't think you're part of the team? You sure like to act like you are? Legally not. Yeah, that's true. I like to feel like I am, but not have any responsibility. Just come for a few free meals. Maybe.

And bottle service. You know, we love that. I'm not drinking. Me neither. Yeah, but the bottle service is not a thing. It is fun to see Marty in that environment. Nice. Plugs? My favorite position is GEO.

Oh, you don't like it? It's just all over the place. I thought the song was good. I thought the song was great. Anya? Good, also. No, plugs! Oh.

You know what? This is a huge announcement. I'm done being behind the desk. Meaning? I don't like it either. You chose it. I'm behind the desk, y'all are having side conversations. You wanted it because you wanted to feel in control.

You could be here any time, babe. If I was there, I would be controlling the room way more. You guys would be fearing my... We do fear you. I feel like this is because I brought up the whole Northwest singing Lion King thing. I feel like there's a number of dominoes that fell into this episode devolving into me

being done with the desk. Radio free Anya on Instagram. Meaning? Kind of follow me there, kind of vibe. Submit to the Love Motel. When? Anytime, any just online. Or DM us.

Can I submit a real problem that's in my relationship? 100% though I am scared. Ask him. And go ahead. Okay. The floor is yours. Ssuh. We're too aligned.

Oh, that's beautiful. That's really sweet. I'll dedicate a song to her that kind of expresses that. She's a musician. You can just play one of her songs. I don't think she wants to hear her own song dedicated to her. That's really not how it works. No, I mean separately. The Extraordinarians launched this week. Holy shit.

What is that? It's a new podcast with Tony Hale Kristen Shaw and Matt Oberg where they interview world record holders it's really sweet and cute and you can also nominate your friends for world's greatest something or world's worst something and Tony and Kristen and Matt will call them and give them an award and it will be it's cute a little they'll be on the show So go ahead and do that. Don't you feel like we're scraping the bottom of the barrel though? I do not think that having

long time Hollywood actors, voice actors, writers, comedians is scraping the bottom of the barrel. But thank you for asking. Especially when they're talking to actual world record holders. It's actually a really good podcast. But thank you for asking. And I appreciate the question.

And that's actually it for me, for plugs. Ali? You can follow me at AliCon, but really the whole thing right now is gluing shit on paper. Gluing shit on paper. Whenever I click on that link on your Instagram story, it takes me to a place where there's no videos. Is it because Twitch only exists while you're recording

and I can't watch it after the fact? And Ali, I just wanna... This is not most people's experience, is trying to follow the link and subscribe. Like, you you're gonna get the listeners you're gonna get the subscribers. He's a dinosaur Okay, but did you also have that Link I'm putting like what time it's happening Doesn't archive can I say something really important though? You may not it's happening? Can I say something really important though, you may not it's about you Yeah, Ali's six followers away from being able to monetize her five five Did that happen today? Yeah, okay

And they say I never do anything nice. Yes, I gave grace a book. So I'm so anything nice. I gave Grace a book. I'm so close to being able to be a Twitch video. I still gave it to her. I was allowed to have it for like 15 seconds. Okay, shut up for one second. Sam, who is the engineer on a bunch of our shows, and you met him. He's kind of like a cool guy. I love Sam. We love Sam. I mean, if someone works on cars, but they never really come out, are they an engineer or are they just meddling with shit? Because that's kind of my impression of Sam as an engineer. I don't know what he's talking about at all. But all I want to say is that I was out with him the other day and he was like, you know, Ali has that twitch. She's really good at collage.

She makes really cool collages. And I was like, that's a joke. And he said that completely unprompted. Wow. Is it unprompted if he's at gunpoint, though? Because you brought that glock to the bar. I'm confused why... Blicky.

Okay, but for real. Confused why he's so jealous of anyone having attention in this room other than him. to the bar. I'm confused why. Blicky. Okay, but for real. Confused why he's so jealous of anyone having attention in this room other than him. Yeah. I've been, I collage almost every single night, usually from six to seven, seven to eight. And I am, I'm trying really hard to get to 50.

And really what I've been doing lately that's been fun is building a narrative around the collages. So it all actually is like very nuanced and makes sense when you're there. Wow. And then you might look at it later and go, this is just a collage, but if you were there in the moment you'll understand. You heard the story. There's a whole story. This is a water park in HAL and we're exploring what it's like to be middle management.

Like there's like things going on that I can't even predict. I like it. Wow. Wow. Yeah. I have to catch it. One of these days I'll catch it because you're gonna start it at 8. I know. I'm usually working till 8. I know. I know. And that's okay one of these days.'ll catch it because you're gonna start it at eight. I'm usually working till eight I know I know and that's okay one of these days you want to right here. I don't want to talk about it You work at IKEA. I Wish the disco Yeah, I'm a you and Jake ever sorry Ali I'm like I think it's on can't glare at me when I gave you the floor back Twitch TV slash living shit on paper. It will take you to Ali's channel where you can subscribe.

You don't have to. Yeah. But I still can't see anything. So when she posts the link, you can watch it when it's light. You'll get a little notification. But if I see it at 7.30, she's done at seven. It literally says no videos to show you, no highlights, no nothing. Right, but if you subscribe,

then they'll let me see it. you'll get the notification. And also something that I'm figuring out, because I'm doing this all for the first time, is I am going to try to build out my page so that there's little clickable, little clips of moments of the past that are fun. That's gonna be good. Yeah, that's something that's on the docket.

So good, solid feedback. We love this. We love, this is great. I'm really excited for you. Honestly, because you've been talking about it and then you're just making it happen. We love, this is great. Yeah. I'm really excited for you. Honestly, cause you've been talking about it and then you're just making it happen. And it's really cute and great.

Plus Jeff is so mad because we're being, not only are we ignoring him, but we're being so sincere. No, I love this. Okay, next is something stupid. Amir, plugs. My plug is my song. Yeah, this one's for you. Wow, Elton's back in the building.

Corporate Jingle 3. Grace? If there was any chance this episode was gonna be good, you just fucked it up right there with your sandpaper, souch, citric acid tongue. Sandpaper is my God's name. My plugs. Sandy is short for sandpaper.

That's funny. Yeah. Sandpaper Harper. You can follow me on Instagram at Chowles Borkley. You can listen to the podcasts I work on, which include Too Scary to Watch, Girls on Porn, this one, and Exploration Live. And can we just say that I was supposed to be on Too Scary to Watch, but you overbooked

and overplayed your hand. What? Grace so nicely in February was like, we gotta get you on Too Scary to Watch to promote the horror movie you're in. I said, I'm in. April rolls around, March rolls around, and I'm snubbed. Not snubbed, you didn't reply to an email.

Huh. Sounds like... Really? That sounds... Yeah. And it's actually not the first time it's happened, because I had him booked on last year for Hellchella, you were going to cover trap, because... Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, Why would you tell him the things that happened in reality and kind of expose him for the thing that he brought up?

Yeah, why would you do that? This whole episode was supposed to be different. Correct. Are we going to talk about that? I don't know what's happening. I love this show. You don't have to say that. But I do, because I see that.

I'm done with the desk. I'm serious. For me, this is a huge deal on this show. I'm not going to be behind the desk anymore. But it's weird if you're just amongst us It's not weird. It's good. It used to be that and it was really good It's lonely at the top. It's lonely behind the desk. It's it's just inappropriate the way you guys treat me behind the desk I'm not inappropriate

Yeah, it's inappropriate because I feel like I'm not commanding authority the way you can be anti-authority But you can't just ignore it. And I think you love G, but really it's harder to hear you because you're farther away. I can barely see. Yeah. You can't see G. You see?

I do think you're shyer in here. Yeah. That was a Hidgum Original. Hey I'm Tony Hale. I'm Matt Oberg. And I'm Tony Hale. I'm Matt Oberg. And I'm Kristin Schall. And we're going to be hosting the new podcast, The Extraordinarians, where we are going to be interviewing extraordinary people, doing extraordinary things, things that we have never and probably will never do.

We talk to people who have broken records on slacklines suspended by hot air balloons. We're talking to people who have done multiple flips on trampolines. You'll have to tune in to find out how many flips they did. Subscribe to Extraordinarians on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Pocket Casts, or wherever you get your podcasts and watch videos.

God. And three. Watch it on the YouTube. There's new episodes that we release in every Wednesday. We do. I've never seen you cry before. I know.

I don't know how I feel about it. This is upsetting for all of us. They don't let us prank for lunch. They do. The podcast is so competitive, they make you just talk and talk. Guys, we're watching a spin out. Please subscribe.

Oh, man. Extraordinarians.