The Headgum Podcast - 257: Junguncular

Episode Date: May 30, 2025

Will, Allie, and Grace join Geoff over zoom to discuss Kelsey Grammer, being junguncular, and play Greenlight or Nah, before participating in the auditory nightmare Oops All Anxiety segment!�� FOLLOW Geoff on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/geoffreyjames/» FOLLOW Will on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/willconover/» FOLLOW Allie on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/gluingshitonpaper/» FOLLOW Grace on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chorlesborkley/Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple PodcastsRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on SpotifyJoin the Headgum DiscordSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Previously on the Headgum podcast, Britney Spears, Jamie Lynn Spears, Naughty, Naughty, Kim Kardashian West, Naughty, Zendaya, Nice, Tom Holland,

Nice, Lady Gaga, Nice, Nicki Minaj, Gag City, Kylie Jenner. No, Miles. No, no, no, no. G guys. I'm gonna know it's the thing on Twitter. You gotta look up gag city Just don't think I can Google that without For the release of New album That's it. Oh, we didn't get through all 50, but you guys decided to end the segment, right?

You guys started the segment. Oh my god. Because it's supposed to be rapid fire. It's supposed to be celebrity. You run out of here. Such a fragile producer. No, not fragile. Well, you know what? I was like, I have to do something else.

And I started putting together my new vacuum back at it again. Took a couple of weeks off recording. And there's no rust on these gears. Well, you sound great. Really? Well, clear. So far, so good. Not, but in terms of like outside of the technical, yeah. The content so far, I would say has been substandard, but.

No way, I barely said anything. All I said is that there isn't rust on gears. Land among the clouds, my friend. I'm reaching high. And if I land on the clouds, my friend. I'm reaching high. And if I land on the clouds, that's also high. It's not on the ground. On the ground would be garbage. Buried beneath would be what you're saying substandard.

It's not sub anything, we're still above. Things are picking up. We've got three out of four of us as a stacked cast. What does that mean? Oh, I mean, I don't want to make anyone feel bad. All I'm trying to say is that there's only three out of four of

us are all stars on the show. And then there's this kind of fourth person who I don't want to say who of you it is. But it's one of us. It's not no, it's not me. The show is a hit, by the way. People love the show, and I'm on every episode, right?

You guys are kind of a part of a rotating cast, so obviously there's gonna be favorites, there's gonna be favoritism. One of you I didn't wanna have to ask. Does that make sense? You bring in the tism. We have a lot to get to. Do you guys have any questions so far? I know you've all done the show plenty of times. Last week's episode, Grace was on.

No questions as of yet. Do you mind if I do a little bit of work while we record? Usually I do mind including today. What if it's selling ads for this show? Yeah. Is it? It's not, but I could throw that in maybe. Throw that in. It's that easy and we're not getting any. Yeah.

Bond of the Week. Yeah, I guess feel free to do whatever tertiary work you need to do to keep this show running. If it's for like extraordinaries or whatever it's called, I'm not interested. Extraordinarians. Really? Not a good attitude to have as the headgum podcast. I'm a huge fan and you know what my bond of the week shawl Oh Kristen shawl

You know we couldn't say this when it happened because I was sworn to secrecy I wasn't allowed to announce ahead of the show that she and Tony were starting a show Kristen Schaal walked in the office Said oh, what's this pointing directly to a my other cars a massage sticker? Actually, she said according to on yeah, she was gonna put it on her Volvo. And I don't think she did, but she said she was going to. And for me and the merch that I'm trying to make happen, that was huge. Did she take it?

She took it. I'll s... I... Jeff, a lot of people comment about it. And yet it's not in the store And we wonder why head gum is going down the turlet Well once shawl is on the wave It'll catch on it'll become a thing especially amongst Bob's burgers fans What did you just say this then as As long as Shaw is on the what? The wave.

The wave. Keep that in mind for later. Something's happening today with the wave. Bond of the Week, who do you guys have? I can go first to ease your nerves. Will went first. Yeah, I was clear. But if you want to go second to ease the... It was Will, by the way, earlier.

Will's the fourth. It's shit. Oh, no. Oh, no. It's Shawl. Shawl's mine, Kristen style. Because you want her on in the ocean or in the sea. No, I'm more of a thinking she's like. James Bond, you know,

who mostly operates on land as far as I'm aware. Well, sometimes he'll drive a car into, you know, a river. And then it becomes. Yeah. Yeah. You know, that's what it's called, right? No, it's because it can. It'sphibious? It's because it can it's land and sea it's a duck car. Oh that's cool. It sounds like kind of quaint though for how high-tech and like sharp it is. Hmm. What are you driving? I'm getting the duck car. Ali, what do you drive? Um, yeah. And is it a duck?

It's nothing to brag about. But it's not a duck. No, I don't think so. Never tried. Grace, who do you have for Bond of the Week? Again, I'll do it. No, you can't repeat. Why? But like, it's my pick. And why can't I stay true to myself?

You already are dieseled. You can make me stop. You don't send in two tapes. He won't let me. You can only send in two takes. And you chose not to. Jeff, what is your problem with me being the next James Bond? Look, take everything else out of it.

Sure. They announced me as like Amazon's new CEO. I'm like, I'm not going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO.

I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. I'm going to be the CEO. problem with me being the next James Bond? Look, take everything else out of it. Sure. They announce me as like Amazon's new James Bond. Mm. It's Grace Harper, audio engineer.

I think the only thing that feels right about it is the accent. That's the only thing? Like say, I want a martini shake and I'll start. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You don't think I have many other Bond-like qualities? It's just an accent thing? Wow. That's kind of, that's so rude.

You don't think an audio engineer can be Bond. That's rude. He needs like army training. Army training, no way. You don't think I can? Can train for the army? It's the exact same job. Maybe like, so okay, he knows how to... You don't think I'm physically capable. No, I think there's nothing that translates other than being able to use a track pad. Because I'm just- Emotionally capable. Are you? Detail oriented? You tell me, you don't think I am. Okay, here's one skill that you've said you have, that Bond needs to have.

You said you used to be a pathological liar. Bond is that. Bond is that. Okay, so we're getting there. What do I have to do to bring you to my side of the fence? Let's hear you say some of the classic ones. You have not done that. You basically are refusing to do it for free.

You're just wanting the off point. That's why he's in advertising. You don't even want to say the name's Bon James Bon? No. So you can't be James! No, no. I'm not doing it for free. Once the contract is signed, Grace will give you all you need on the day. They've cast the Harry Potter kids.

Will as her agent. Yes, because of the Harry Potter kids. You don't see them out there doing leviosa. They have you have to wait. Because they already shot the shit.iosa, they have to wait. Because they already shot the shit. And before they did, they auditioned on the lines. Aren't you involved with that? Shooting the shit?

You're kind of a Hagrid vibe in the new J.K. Rowling produced and tour driven. Yeah, are you excited to work with John Lithgow? That would be unbelievable. None of that is true. And you do whatever it took. You would work with anybody in order to get to him. I just do whatever Red Main does.

I stay low. Will, this made me think of you. Would you mind sort of reading this out loud? I'm going to send it in the chat. Ali, did you say a bond? Oh, no, I didn't. Oh, sorry. Let's hear it. I'm just going to second Grace, because I do think you could do it.

Not only do I think you can do it I do think you could do it. Not only do I think you can do it, I know you could do it. There's no fucking way. I think she'd be really good. On Grace's side, because she's like fun to hang out with, not because she'd be good. Maybe Shawl is like a Q or a mum to Grace's bond.

You want Shawl as mom and grace as mom? Yeah. I was... Q kind of fits. She's kind of like a nerdy. She is a Q. I actually, I do think she'd be a great bond. And I'd be happy if it can't be me. It should be her.

Yeah. And I think Tony Hale would be good as someone that like works in tech. Yeah. Now there's your Q. There's your cue right there. Jeff, I don't like the way that you've had this straw positioned out of frame and you keep leading off to... I don't like it.

I'm just making that known. Will, this made me think of you. Would you mind reading this and describing this for the audio listeners who we hate. Yeah, I'd be happy to it is a screenshot of what looks to be a post on X Sure, but it does still say view tweet activity I'm not sure if that means it's old or new but it's on the account moods TB H's of course a quote account with a thousand three hundred and forty eight followers correct the post reads with 1,348 followers. Correct. The post reads, it's from Elgin, Texas,

posted on November 14th, 2018, so it's stacked on his Twitter at 9.48 p.m. I've got so many feelings piled up inside me that no one knows about because I'm not the type to spill my feelings out to anyone. Just put a smile on and act like you're good. And to describe the emoji that follows, it is, I don't even really know what this ever conveys,

but it is like a little girl putting her head down on the desk. Sure, yeah. But she's also got ideas. Uh-huh. Oh, and then there is what looks to be a Snapchat filter added to it with yeah, dot, dot, dot, dot, and then there is a what looks to be a Snapchat filter added to it with. Yeah, dot, dot, dot, dot.

And then a lovey face. Yeah. So that made you think of me of all people. Yeah, I just feel like you got so many feelings piled up inside you that no one knows about because you're not the type to spill your feelings out to anyone. I will say I think I got got off easy. Usually these are somewhat aggressive, you know, helpful. Yeah. Hurtful things in this one.

It's thoughtful and it's considered. OK. Well, I want to say that. I appreciate hashtags. So sorry, I did close out of the tab, so I'll need to get back to it. There's a lot. I'll tell you that much for free. Hashtag like for like course, hashtag likes for likes with the four hashtag like for like back hashtag. What's life hashtag L.A.

About no one, maybe a lot of that. No one hashtag sad and lonely. Hashtag your loss. Hashtag damn hashtag truth. Hashtag deep hashtag facts. Hashtag upset hashtag alone. Hashtag cry hashtag sad music, hashtag sad mood, hashtag sad edits. And I believe that's it. We just have to move on. And that's actually the sound for word of the day. The word of the day is it wave. What's that? What?

No, it's not wave. These are new words that I'm pointing these terms that I want you guys to all start using word of the day, by the way. The word of the day is yeah. No, go ahead. All right, never mind. No, let's hear it. I was gonna say I'm having a hard time hearing you over the bird.

Like... The word of the day is junguncular. The word of the day is junguncular. That's J-U-N-G-U-N-C-U-L-A-R. And that's when your uncle is in or has been to the Amazon. Jungunkular. Clear as crystal to me. Grace?

Interesting. And it's just the Amazon, right? Not any other... You could use it as any forest, but the traditional definition would be that he sort of was there. Or is. What's that? It's jungle. Yeah, jungle and avuncular. Interesting. Junguncular.

I thought you were going psychology like young. Young, yeah. No. So if you have an uncle who's like... Junguncular. He's Niles from Frasier. In talk therapy with a youngie in it. Yeah.

Yeah. Behave. That's what I'm saying. I've never seen an episode in my life. Ali, you would love it. What show is this? Frazier. Oh, yeah. I've heard of it.

Oh, baby, I hear junk-ocular calling jungles in a funcular. I had a dream once that I went to Kelsey Grammer's house and it felt so real that I remember it years later. That's that's awesome. Are you sure it was a dream? Yeah, what? I'm 90% sure it didn't happen. Was his apartment in Seattle and was it Fraserburn Corp?

No, it was like a Beverly Hills mansion and there was a slide instead of Sarah's. You were there. Wasn't he a housewife husband? Yeah, season one Beverly Hills, I think that's why I was thinking of. His wife was on Robi. And it was a scam.

He set up his then wife, Camille, to be a real housewife so that he could go to New York, film, or film, do a play, but really have an affair. And she would be busy. That's awful. It's really kind. I mean, he puts so much work into making sure she didn't find out. It's almost. I'll give my wife a purpose.

And like. Very French, Grace. Speaking of plays, I'm trying to write a classic novel. Wait, sorry, have we moved on from Word of the Day? Because I did have a follow up question. Drunken Killer. Does chicken react to the bird sound?

Oh, that's a great idea. I guess you can't really hear it because I have the headphones on. Oh, true. OK. And also that bird would be a danger to chicken. Chicken would not be a danger to that kind of bird. Yeah, potentially. She does love cat TV, though. That, potentially. She does love cat TV though. That's fun.

And what is cat TV? It's like birds. Oh my God, there's that's... Yeah. There's like a whole YouTube community. Jeff, have you ever done this? Yeah, it's like a 24-hour streaming usually. Yeah, she has favorites. I have favorites. There's, yeah, it'll be like,

they'll spread some bird seed at a park and just look at the birds and squirrels that come by. And she sits right in front of the TV for hours. It's good for when they're home alone. I have some favorite parts. There's one where a woman walks a dog off leash at one point. Kind of my highlight. So you're watching it.

Chickens bore by it. She's not even there. I'm right there. This is me on a plane. Yeah. I'm trying to write the next great American novel. And this week my pitch is North and South, parenthesis, beach. So it tells the story of a haughty young woman who's forced to leave the comforts and luxuries of South Beach, Miami for the beatnik shores of North Beach, San

Francisco, where she confronts the harsh literary realities of drunken and lazily written poetry. Horty?'s that like? Haughty yeah, okay. I love it. I didn't know it was like really hotty Jeff. When are you gonna write one? Thing you could do is be supportive towards me actually finishing it. I'm so in! Because all it does is point out the fact that I've never written an outline even.

I am so curious about this one. To me it seems like it takes place in two different time periods. You know, the beatnik San Francisco era is not really San Francisco versus 80s Magnum P.I. with era. That's like an element of it. You got to bring the cup on camera. I don't want to steal your thunder,

Jeff, but I do. I did have a similar idea for a novel yesterday. Let's hear it. I pitched and it didn't go well, but I'm wondering if maybe this is a warmer crowd. Yeah, of course.

Did George get the penguin? Yeah, what? Yeah, and they said, it's Memorial Day, fuck off. Okay, so the idea is called, J'acuse in the coups. And it's basically like an Agatha Christie novel where there's like a murder, but it's only like four to five people in one Jacuzzi and someone dies and we have to figure out

who else in the Jacuzzi did it. I think that's like an SNL sketch. I think you should submit a packet. Jacuz and the Cous. And the Cous. Cous. Or it could be about anthropomorphic beers and one of them dies in a koozie.

Well, that's something else I thought about. And then I was like, maybe I do Jacuzzi in the koozie. And then I was like, that's the same thing. A koozie and Jacuzzi. I do like a book that takes place entirely within a Jacuzzi. Yeah, I think that's like a great. And then I was kind of thinking it could be a play. We do have to take a break. place entirely within a jacuzzi. Yeah, I think that's like a great... And then I was kind of thinking it could be a play. We do have to take a break.

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This is a I guess, Ali, you work in content. Mm hmm. Ali Khan Ali Khan. This is a Hedgum podcast network content segment. So this would have been better if Katie was on, but she never wants to be on. Yeah. Basically, I'm going to pitch you guys a couple of ideas for podcasts to add to the network, and you let me know whether you'll green light it or not. Number one, the Marika Brownlee experience. The world has been begging for a liberal Joe Rogan, and this isn't that. Listen along to each 14-hour episode as Marika Brownlee takes forever to discuss the latest

Broadway musicals, the bizarre nomenclature of the UChicago campus, and less. And before you ask, no, you're not listening on Point 5X. listening on point five X well without Marika in the zoom just feels like bullying yeah I will say how to feel like you had a green light then uniquely talented at writing descriptions for podcasts that are not this one that it took. It did sound very compelling.

I like the hook at the top. Sure. It's a, I wouldn't say from a sales perspective. Yeah. That there's much of a, there's much meat on the bone. You know, you really want to identify the audience within the description. You know, this is a show for, you know, moms everywhere or something like that.

It could be for mom. This is. Yeah, no, it could be for anybody. Cast for mommy. Well, just now this is a show itself. Yeah, I'm interested. Can we green light that one and pass on the Marika Brownlee? That was literally going to be the next podcast. That's crazy.

It was going to be Allie's show, but I couldn't think of something beyond just giving her money on the show, which wouldn't be her even talking. I mean, I'm in. The annual. Imagine a podcast with only one episode per year. That's all Headgum can afford of this annual news recap podcast hosted by the most expensive host money can buy,

Judge Judy Shindlin. So it's like the daily, but it's like once a year and it's hosted by Judge Judy. And a lot of the news has already kind of expired. Green light or not. Judy and a lot of the news has already kind of expired. And you think out of out of everybody, that is the most expensive host. Well, Oprah is not going to do it. Right. No, sure. And everybody we could get.

Yeah. Judy has a shot. I'd green light it mostly for the fact I think it adds. I'm imagining this comes out around New Year's Eve. I wish it was that Judge Judy is going to go ahead and be in Naples, Florida for that. Hey, could we send a crew? Oh, you may not. You may not, because the audio in her months is going to be very echoey. There's a lot of tile. Sure. Sure.

I did like a Juneteenth launch for Judge Judy's show recap. Is that right, Chris? Judge Jude's teeth. There's some it's this I'm circling it. You're circling the judge. I don't know. I I love Judy, but this might be a respectful pass for me. I might tell her to launch independently and circle back once she's...

At 10,000 down. Now it's probably like 50. I don't know what it is. Yeah, something like that. What about Judge Judy and the Jacuzzi? It's Judge Jude Jacuzzi and the Cougs. It's Judge Jude, Jacque's and the Coons. It's pretty good. But I feel like Team Coco might get the shit.

Is it a video pod? All of these have to be simulcast, is that right? Diary of a GEO. Jeffrey James interviews mediocre middle management men who skate by in their respective fields. This podcast. He yeah, well, that's an insult to you guys. Yeah, no, this would be like formatted like that show Diary of a CEO,

but I'm not talking like Mark Cuban or Judd Apatow. I'm talking to like fucking Ryan. At our company, Ryan Chambers. It's a pretty brutal description of his contributions to the company. No, I just don't know any. I don't know anybody who fit the description. No, and that would be a problem with the show, because for the show, you would need to have those connects.

Yeah, but those are easy to get. I just don't have them yet. You know what I mean? Like everyone I know, like, you know, knows somebody who just kind of like is like a VP of some thing. That's a yes. I'll I'll say Greenlight. I think this is a great show.

I think having a business show on the network is a smart idea. I think some of the audience there, it think having a business show on the network is a smart idea. I think something attainable. It's for guys who are like in their mid 30s. They're not imagine we there. Yeah. Yeah. The LinkedIn activity, the sharing of the posts on there. The lighter is really aggressive. I don't know. I don't love it.

I don't know. Don't it sounds it just reminds me to me. The title reminds me of like if you're sharing a diary entry of someone named Gio. Pod wave, pod wave America. Mike Mitchell and John Gabris both, both wave at the camera on every episode of this no bullshit podcast about politics. Pass. Really?

Mitch and Gabrisism. Come on, Grace. I don't work for this company. I can't be bad mouthed people. Mitch and Gabris is an interesting choice. Gabris has a lot of success with his new show, Outside the Network, and we're very happy for him. I think it's a pass from me as well. So they're just going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm

going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm going to be like, oh, I'm Very happy for him.

I think it's a pass from me as well. So they're just saying hi the whole time. Yeah, they don't quite ever get to the meat of the issues because they're mostly like. And how long is it? What's the runtime? I don't know, 45 to an hour. What how long is it? What's the runtime? I don't know. Forty five to an hour. What's a good length? Yeah, that's normal.

I once got feedback from a college roommate that I didn't have to greet her every time I walked by because I think I did it. I did it every time. And she was like, I can't stop it. I do it now. I just want you to know I'm not mad.

I think it's polite. I do it now. I just want you to know I'm not mad. I Think it's polite Two bears well first of all pod wave America you're all passing Seems like it. All right two bears one way America still going Yeah, and they're more popular than ever because the second Trump term two bears, one wave. Sorry, is Bud Save America still going? Yeah, and they're more popular than ever, because of the second Trump term. Two bears. They haven't. Sorry.

Saved it yet. No, no, it's worse now. They should stop. I can't get a word in it twice on my own show. When can I? Two bears what? One wave. When you bears what? One wave

Two bears one wave Mike Mitchell and John gabris host a podcast where every other episode they switch off who waves This one makes a little bit more sense Seeing the bear connection. Okay. I think that that would have been a better intro to the concept because the fact that you started with them just generally talking about politics. Yeah, I had it ordered that way and then I switched it up.

Last minute, trust your gut. It's a green light for me. Will, you're green lighting everything. I really wanted you to be like, trust your gut. I'm not on the content team. It's a pass for me. It's a it's a green light from me Booming industry with endless potential that was green light or nah Jeff you know this? You know, there's going to be a best podcast award at the Golden Globes? Yes. Are you going to submit? You imagine.

If you had to pick an episode of this podcast to submit for the Golden Globe for the best podcast award? We're on our third song, right? Have you ever experienced oppression? Oppression or depression? Uh... You guys have to answer all these questions. This is a segment called OOPSALL ANXIETY. Can you turn it down a little? It's very hard to hear you. The segment is called OOPSALL ANXIETY. The song is part of it. Have you ever experienced oppression? I need everyone to answer all these.

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure, yeah. Grace, Will. Yeah. Yeah. Has anyone ever gone through your mail? Yeah. Well, guys, answer.

Yes, yes. Yes, sure. Okay, I thought you all were gonna say no and I was gonna say how would you know? Do you think there have ever been tiny cameras in an Airbnb you've stayed at? No. I check. How would you know?

Do you really? Yeah. Well, it's I don't even I I'll lift up a mirror and look behind it. Have you achieved what you thought you would by this age? Oh, so much more. Yeah. Oh, that's such a nice spin on it. Yeah.

It's like never in my wildest dreams would I ever imagine that I was doing this five years ago. And you were happy and everything was rolling happily down the road. Are you worthy of your own respect? I think I'm getting there. Yeah. Are you worthy of your own respect? I think I'm getting there. Yeah. Are you sure? Are you sure?

Yes. What habits are holding you back? Is a song ending? No, it's a new song and it's worse. I mean, literally all of them. Are you sure that's all? I disagree. What's the biggest mistake you've ever made and in what ways is it worse than the average person's? I feel like we're in like the scary tunnel in Willy Wonka. Yeah. You guys have to answer every question.

I can't even remember the question. What are my flaws? If you had a twin, do you think you'd be the more successful one? I'm so glad I don't have a twin. Yeah. Oh, my God. See my own face every day. I'd be more I'd be the more successful one, but I'd be the last hot one Well, and that's the chip on my shoulder

fraternal twins So the question was if you had a twin do you think you'd be the more successful one and your answer was fraternal twins my guy If you had never been born, no one would know. Not a question, right? What happens when you die? What happens when I die?

Honestly, I don't think anything. What an insane segment to be called on today to be on the show and this was the plan. I know. I like can't even, I can't hear myself. Hey guys, thanks so much for making this work in your schedule, I really appreciate it. Could have turned this up a little louder.

What happens after I die? Yeah, you think. Not my business. If there is a judgment day, what might keep you out of heaven? I'm guessing- Oh, the lion. Passing on Judge Judy's podcast.

Are you doing enough? I'm doing a lot Too much some might say No, it's working. I'm stressed out. I feel awful all the time. Yeah, this is druthers. What keeps you up at night? This podcast it's quarter to 11. Well I can't think with the music. For what should you feel most guilty? Gotta be the pathological lion. Ali? Feel most what? Guilty? Probably being just like a bad participant right now. This is about how I would imagine it would go with any group of three. Are you truly in good health?

No. I'm falling apart, Jeff. What if you had a brain eating parasite? Hey, I didn't get a word of that one. What if I had a brain eating parasite? A brain eating parasite. Oh, I thought he said what if you have a brain eating parasite? A brain eating parasite! Oh, I thought he said, what if you have a brain leak in your purse? Better question.

What if you accidentally caused a large traffic collision on the freeway but you didn't realize it? Oh, I definitely would. If I'm on the freeway, I'm causing accidents left, right, and center. Well, because you're playing left, left right and center in the car. Yeah because I'm on the wrong side of the road and the wrong way to the car. Not in the dice game. Oh my god. In what ways are you letting down those who you claim to care most about? I All of them I'm turning a corner on the music no way It's kind of like what's the song in train spotting?

My god born slipy. Have you ever unknowingly plagiarized? What have you ever plagiarized Unknowingly no No. For sure. Do you know CPR? Yes. Yeah. Fuck. Cause the follow up was gonna be if not, doesn't that make you fear your loved ones choking around you? Jeff, I was a babysitter.

Yeah. A lifeguard. You shouldn't use CPR for choking. Is your... Do you know CPR? Is your suffering actually selfish? Actually what? Selfish? Did you see that movie, A Real Pain? Yeah.

It's kind of the thesis of that movie. Why don't you volunteer? I don't care for it. I do. Fuck. You know what? I filled out an application. I haven't signed up for the orientation.

Does your consumerism harm workers, do you think? Most definitely. Yeah. And I'm really sorry about it. What would your eight-year-old self be disappointed in you for? Not being in the NBA. Probably not being like a rock climber.

What percentage of the way through the questions in the segment are we? 90? Oh, that's sick. Okay, let's rattle through. Do you think you have the makeup of a good parent? No. I've been told, yeah, but I don't care. You're very loving to your cat. Yeah.

Thank you. What aspects of world peace do you prohibit? Peace, do you prohibit? That's a winner. Do you recycle perfectly? No. I don't think it's, ew. Isn't it fake? Isn't it awful? It's kind of a scam.

Yeah. What if you're not a good person? Nothing I can do. I'll deal with it tomorrow. And finally, our last question. Hey, can we meet up for coffee and talk soon? I won't say what it's about beforehand and also I'm not free for two weeks.

For as terrible as it was, I think the segments are good and I think it should be every week. There's something here. Plugs, what do you guys have going on? What do you want to point the people towards? Let's start with Grace. I was on Too Scary Didn't Watch last week. You can check that out.

Must be nice. Would you come? I wonder what that feels like. I watched The Hole. It's a movie from 2001 starring Keira Knightley, Thor Birch, Desmond Harrington, Lawrence Fox. It's a really fun episode. I had a great time. Anyone who is invited to Too Scary to Watch should take the opportunity when it is given

to them because they won't regret it. And who knows when the opportunity will come around again. I'm so excited about this. I'm gonna listen. Alex? It's long. You can follow me on Twitch, gluing shit on paper. Throw me a subscribe. throw me a bone. That's about it.

Will? Ali's stream is great. I'm active in the chat. I'm commenting and saying. You're plugging your comments on Ali's show? If you could go to Ali's stream and upvote my comment, I will very much appreciate it. Nice.

I think we have some new headgun launches. I think there's the new Gareth Reynolds show is probably coming out around this release. I think it's called Next We Have. Seems like a good time. He will also be a guest on Too Scary Didn't Watch, imminently. Oh my God, you have so much listening to do.

You probably skipped past the last segment because it was a nightmare. He didn't watch him and ain't lean. Oh my god. You have so much listening to do you probably? Skipped past the last segment because it was a nightmare and It was kind of like Allie at Kelsey Grammer's house a nightmare My plug is Ali's twitch gluing shit on paper and also I've never done this kind of thing before. But if you could, if you do follow Will on Instagram, my plug is to

because what's your Instagram? It's simple. It's my name at at Will Conover. My plug is to unfollow Will. Yeah, that makes sense. I would appreciate it. I'm kind of getting too big on there. You know, I can't say the real stuff anymore You know usually guys we try to end this show on like a big laugh, right?

So we have to figure that out more about so did you say in Kelsey Grammer's house? There was a slide Instead of stairs. Mm-hmm Mm-hmm Yes, it was a slide instead of stairs. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Interesting. Yes. It was sort of like a grand foyer. And the slide itself was inflatable, like you'd see at a county fair. The grand is diminishing.

I know. Well, and that's sort of what felt confusing about it. It was a mix of high, low. High and low brow or like the structure itself. You start high and you end the low. The floor was a ceiling. High and low is then that's the journey of the slide. But high and low is then it was a beautiful mansion with an inflatable carnival-esque slide down the middle.

And it was kind of just like, you know, it was one of those dreams where you go into a bunch of rooms and each room is very different and strange and you have a vague feeling you've been there before. But you're like, well, I definitely haven't. Kelsey's never once invited me here. And then you start going, huh, is this a dream? Is this real? Where's Camille? Mm-hmm. Is she still one of the real housewives?

No, but I love her. She taught me what the word pernicious means. It's the perfect word to describe Kelsey's behavior in terms of the whole affair thing. So it means adulterous. I was just trying to say, I don't know if you guys heard, we usually try to end the show on like a huge laugh. Oh, right. And then we just started talking about like, Kelsey Grammer's house and my dream.

Kelsey Grammer's floor plan, yeah. So how do we kind of get to, sorry I wasn't even close to that. Remember that he was trying to use the word of the day. Junk-uncular, but it didn't, it wasn't in context. Shit. Hahaha! That was a HeadGum Original. life's dumbest problems. We also have guest helpers join us from the entire cast of New Girl, to Michael Cera, Andy Samberg, Jimmy Kimmel, just to name a few. So do me a favor and come check out an episode and then bounce around our catalog.

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