The Headgum Podcast - 26: In HIGH SCHOOL, Sir?!

Episode Date: November 27, 2020

Danny is back and joins Amir, Marika, and Geoff to discuss Sellers remorse, pipe tobacco, and Amir's amorphous level of fame.Check out John George's podcast Big Boy Movies!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmWe have new merch in the Headgum store! Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. And we're back with another edition of the HeadGum Podcast. This is kind of interesting. It's the core four. Back at it again with the white van, City Reynolds, Ryan Reynolds' Instagram handle. Save me from myself. We have to start over.

Amir, you host a podcast. No, Danny, you're a stand-up. You introduce the show. Start us off whenever you're ready. Wow. Don't put that on him. Hey, everybody. This is another episode of the HeadGum Podcast with one of its newest employees,

Danny. I'm still happy to have a job. I like that you say that like you're on thin ice. Do you know how many times i've almost been fired just never know with today's climate yeah you are you are arguably the most cancelable employee why what do you mean why a follow-up a follow-up i just wasn't expecting i was saying you're the one who's always on thin ice you're the most cancelable employee so like why are you putting that out there on somebody else

that's not deflecting all the blame all right you're the one who spams our slack every fucking weeknight weekend night sure is Sanjay Gupta's uncle is yeah asking employees what their count is on the podcast like these are all

borderline illegal disqualifications i'm not gonna apologize for being a culture fit all right danny it's kind of interesting since you are one of the newest hires uh first of all you're joining the company at its best iteration but i've kind of been here since what 2016 amir uh yeah i don't know when it was a shell not only a shell of itself but a shell company at its best iteration. But I've kind of been here since, what, 2016, Amir? Yeah, I don't know. When it was a shell, not only a shell of itself, but a shell corporation. It started as, oh, you know, you sell a podcast, maybe you tell 10 friends about the podcast and they sell, you know, and then you kind of get paid. It's kind of a Mary Kay situation.

We used to just sell knives. Yeah. We called it Rutco because Amir was in a rut and then he met Avital and then he's come out on the other side and now you now you have art on your walls yeah thank you appreciate that yeah because we shot we shot an episode of if i were you a video podcast i was like a just camera operator and there was no art on the walls yeah i was it was new here it was a new place i hadn't decorated yet but yeah i appreciate you um saying that out loud um four years later appreciate it i'm here we were marika danny and i were talking before you hopped on the zoom because uh just if you're listening he was late not really how this show marika pitched this podcast this is marika's brainchild really and i'd like to keep it that way as a happy hour a

company happy hour that people could kind of eavesdrop on so danny and i have an alcoholic beverage i mean would you like to join? Well, I have this watermelon juice and I'm sort of riding that juice. Yeah, I'm sort of riding that sugar high. Rick is in a Carhartt beanie. Danny's in a Nike dad cap.

Amir looks like an uncle, but not in a hot way. So the default for uncle is hot. You've really been going after his appearance today i saw your comment on this i was gonna bring it up amir you you posted an absolutely fire instagram series it was lit yeah for sure how do you feel with those photos being of you uh they're nice they turned out well uh phil and sarah are have a very artistic eye and they had a cool vision and we went to a cool place and took some awesome photos.

And yeah, I'm happy with how they turned out for sure. Follow up. Did you reach out to them? Did they reach out to you? How did that come to be? They reached out to, I think, Avital and she responded. And I guess they had photographed a bunch of our friends and, you know, we vetted them and they were you know talented obviously

worth our while and it was a fun afternoon there and to be clear your friends include nick kroll and butch walker because i looked at their instagram account and there are some famous people there man i mean for you to be yeah they what's that i was vaguely agreeing with you but uh sort of urging you with my eyes to move on yeah for sure no just for you to be uttered in the for amir here we go amir blumenfeld was photographed by somebody who also photographed butch walker that's impressive yeah nice thank you i guess this is like a typical work happy hour like the guy yeah I'm being like confronted I mean kind of yeah yeah back by popular demand this is our first segment Marika takes the reins but we'll we'll we'll engage with you but this is uh no one all about no one said this was a

popular segment I had several people on the head gum discord asking for more Marika and more Danny people did like Danny Danny was a hit. Absolute hit. Is it? Oh, this segment is Marika Takes the Rain, so I don't know why everybody's staring at me. Usually there's like music. I thought there was going to be music. Okay, here we go. I mean, there doesn't have to be. No, I mean, if you guys want music, I can make music happen.

It's just like, this would be better before we start. No. Amir's furious. I was, yeah gonna leave but like we're only at the six minute mark um where to begin it doesn't have to be a game or a segment it could just be something that's on the top of your brain getting back is this the one where like you say Marika has to talk like for two minutes straight or something yeah this is a different iteration because that she hated that. And I don't want to like, tonight of all nights, I just don't want to piss Marika off. Thank you.

Can I explain why to the audience? Yeah, sure. Okay, so Jake. So first of all, Jake was supposed to record with us last Friday and then he couldn't. So we pushed it to Tuesday so that he could. And then he canceled within the last 10 minutes before the record, which is fine. But then he was like, I'm good for the next one though, Thursday at six, obviously.

Actually, it was at five. And then he said six would be better. Moved it to six, canceled again last minute. So the idea was, and I was toying with this this afternoon, is kind of spamming HQ, the Slack channel that everybody at the company is on for the most part.

Being like, hey, does anybody want to do it? Any of the new, because we've had Danny on, but there's two other people that were also hired around the same time, Angie and Sam. I would love to get a Shackle interview on this show and treat it as more like a WTF type of show. Like really go deep. One-on-one.

Yeah, Shackle. She'd hate it. Who are your people? Who are your people? Is that your Marc Maron? Yeah, yeah. the last name too that's strong i feel like this is a certain kind of swag you have to have for people just to go straight for the last name as your yeah you could be a sellers at times i've been sellers at times

at times it's just been danny that's only been when you've been remorseful meaning sellers remorse sellers remorse yeah, that was strong. I've never heard of that before. Yeah, it's because it doesn't exist. Zero regret selling anything. I don't think anybody regrets selling something. Yeah. Making money.

I real regret selling something. Dan, can I get your opinion on something? Yes. Obviously, real estate is still hot, weirdly, even though, obviously, interest rates are low. Obviously, obviously, obviously. Just fucking talk. Don't say obviously. Nothing is obvious what you say.

So just fucking say what you need to say. You don't have to preface it with anything. Obviously, real estate is hot. Obviously, interest rates are low. Get rid of the obviously. Talk like a normal person. Go for it. Lenders were predicting, sorry, low interest rates.

I caught myself on that one. Low interest rates. And sorry, with this pandemic, people were wondering, would it again become a buyer's market? Are we going to see a repeat of 2009 or 2010? And we haven't yet, which is interesting. And it's still a seller's market but what's interesting with you danny and what i want to get to the root out here is that even if

it was if it was a buyer's market for you it would be a seller's market you know what i mean 100 because of his last name the fact that it took you two minutes to say that was worth it yeah long walk they say that was a long walk yeah it was worth it though well that's because you're polite what what are your aspirations you're you're a stand-up comedian obviously revered in chicago what what's the dream job what's the dream house style what do you see yourself in 10 years doing um dream house style i like a nice mid-century modern love a lot of windows um i want to be able to keep my job here because that pays my bills uh moving to la once the panoramic is over so that's going to be pretty cool sorry the what the pandemic is a joke he said it like sort of in a silly

fashion by the way you love shit like that and the moment somebody else indulges you for half a second you call them out on i just didn't i got it because that's because i'm obviously i'm intelligent about shit but um that's actually really funny what calling it a panoramic yeah maybe yeah now you're like spending too much time no i don't think anyone's making money off of stand-up now so i think that's pretty fair to say. But even before... We gotta get you to do a HeadGum Live. We do these variety shows.

We do these variety shows. Sorry, what was that? Ferris cut this out, but I had a fucking voice crack. A fucking voice crack. We do these live variety shows in Silver Lake in LA, and you should do a slot. That'd be awesome. Well, if one of the bosses would be willing to have me,

I'll be more than happy to. Amir hates showing up to them. Yeah, unfortunately, Jeff is responsible for the show, so the invite's already there. Oh, okay. Well, thank you, executive producer. Usually it's for better or for worse. Usually people say that.

It's just for worse. I mean, decent vibe. This thing about it, when the world is back normal hopefully the the man is so high that we can just be a little bit shitty but it's okay because people just need live vibes do you think you'll be rusty when you get back at it you've been doing some virtual shows and some outdoor shows right yeah i mean i think i'm i'm rusty even when i've done shows that night like the rust is the rust is there but um yeah i think once things go back to normal we all get in a routine i'll find some funny somewhere and then marika you were saying that

you were being audited so i was just wondering this isn't for the show paris got this out but i just want to make sure you're like doing okay financially. Yeah, Jeff, thank you. It means a lot for you to check in, but I'm fine. Everything's great. Is that a new hat? I like car.

Yeah, I just bought it. You like car hats? Yeah. So Danny Sellers thinks that car hats are cool. I always wonder if I can wear hats on my client calls and stuff. Yeah, Jeff just left. He's ruffling through an old briefcase of his. He definitely can.

Came back with a Carhartt hat. Yeah. You don't have to impress me, Jeff. Really? That's all he has. I actually really hate the hat. It's too tall. You got to get the one. It's too tall.

You got to get the one that folds, too. You can't have just the... Yeah, you got to fold it. The call that, like the scully. That's like the scully. You need a beanie. Yeah, I just bought this like a week ago. Now it's all I wear. It's great.

I need to find good outfits for client calls. I think you always dress stylish. Remember when we were the beanie boys? Yeah, I remember that. That was pretty tight. What about a Henley? That'll allow you to like stay casual while still dressing it up more than like a t-shirt yeah i need to do something i need to i need someone to share with me like good zoom outfit i'm pretty bad at zoom outfits all i have

are t-shirts the occasional hoodie if it's chilly out my my clothing is, like my style has gotten worse during the pandemic for sure. How do you figure? I feel like I would say that I was getting really into like collared shirts and jumpsuits right before this hit. And I was like buying a lot more of those. And then as soon as I was staying home all the time, I was like, I don't have to wear these anymore. And so now I just wear t-shirts and sweatshirts and sweatpants all the time. That's all I wear. Jeans are not tight.

I feel like anytime I have to wear jeans, I'm furious for the next three hours. All I wore for pants was jeans and now I haven't worn them. I've worn them like twice since I've been inside. And that was to go outside for things. Yeah, like you don't need a jacket in New York this winter because you're not really leaving. Yeah. And I literally just bought a new coat at the end of last winter. So I was really prepared and now there's no point.

I guess you could take walks in the cold. Maybe. What do people wear in LA? Is it still t-shirts and shorts or is it different? Yeah, I mean, during the day, it's still fairly warm out still. It's like in the 80s still. But at night, it gets chilly hoodie weather

Jeff anything Jeff nothing dad I think LA literally only gets cold in January that's the only time I'm ever like God I need like to put something else on otherwise it's like I could do with or without a hoodie at night it's just kind of nice and novel that I get to wear

another layer t-shirt and jeans or like shirt and jeans is really kind of the only vibe or shorts are you a cardigan guy no i could see you rocking a cardigan like sometime like nice dinner dates and stuff and then yeah to you that's like just like a small comment but that'll like stick with me all week i'm like luckily i have therapy i have therapy at eight so like i'm gonna be okay what what will you say at therapy that'll help you forget that which was basically just a question about whether you wear a cardigan or not and also like a compliment that you could pull them off it's not a bad piece of it's just a very specific piece of i can't even finish the joke i think if it was 2012 I would be beaming right now but no it's 2020 we're in a global pandemic

you just told me that I could rock a cardigan which is you might as well have told me to go fuck myself they're coming back they're absolutely not they never went away they never went away enough for them to come back and that's a problem because what's coming back in my eye

is the kind of early aughts late 90s like long sleeve t-shirt short sleeve t-shirt on top do you think that's it's comparable to that no way no i'm saying that that's like okay that's something that's gonna come back i think it's already back and i'm gonna i'm like i'm gonna layer that i'm just am like there's nothing you can say that'll tell me not to amir you shouldn't do that that's right it shouldn't come back and you shouldn't do it whatever man a friend of mine wore it the other day and she looked great so i don't know i just don't know for sure jeff what's the worst piece of clothing that you've owned definitely the smoking jacket that i've won on a couple podcasts danny i used to smoked pipe tobacco in high school in high school you definitely had to have worn cardigan

his watch collection hard bottom shoes and stuff look i i wanted to smoke something. I didn't want to inhale and fuck up my lungs. So you smoked something legally, but very complicated. That's like a... Basically smoked a Rubik's Cube. You need a lot of supplies to smoke. You need the actual

hardware, you need an extra lighter. You could have gotten into like hookah. I think that's stupid. That's stupid that's stupid no look i i really liked uh jazz and new orleans culture and there's a lot of like tobacco companies that are like based in new orleans one of them was called mr frogs or something and i it just was like oh let me get into tobacco. Because I didn't want to smoke weed or anything. High school Jeff liked jazz and New Orleans culture. I used to make beignets and po'boys. Café Du Monde.

Our kitchen was Café Du Monde that year. Just powdered sugar everywhere. I had a red velvet smoking jacket that I got from a costume store. And I would go out into the garage by myself, play Louis Armstrong music and smoke pipe tobacco. And say to myself in my own head, this is the life. I'm sorry to hear that. That explains so much. I feel like Marika, you and I are actually way more similar than you care to admit at least publicly you think I did that in high school but like getting really into things doing them shamelessly getting deep into cultures or like or like you know nerd culture yeah I'm a big nerd culture fandom person not not New Orleans jazz bygone culture yeah but i definitely not just like superheroes and tv shows and stuff amir let me riddle me this do you think that there's ever been a bygone era in the bywater

district he's he wants to leave you could tell you hand hovering over the button it hasn't even been 10 minutes you can't leave yet it's been over 20 it just feels like 10 for you i'm talking about the final i'm talking about the final cut you know what i mean yeah like after we trim trim the fat which is basically anything you've said without a funny retort from us uh no i don't think there's been a by gone era in the by water district see that's where you're next question because don't double down on shit all right um what about yeah let me let me ask you this dan you're really good at interviewing i don't think so i think that this show is every week might be the last episode because of me.

Did you guys go to a wedding this year? Of course not. Of course we didn't go to a wedding this year. Actually, I had one. You had a wedding this year. How did you guys pull that off? No guests? Minimal guests?

Outdoors? Masks? 20 guests. Only the most elite and closest family members. Smart. And everybody got tested. Pretty much everybody got tested afterwards, and everyone was good. Perfect. 20 for 20.

A clean affair. I think so, unless someone's lying. Yeah, I'll track them down. Colonel Aioli got COVID in the library with a sphere. Aioli? Isn't that kind of sauce? Yeah, so that's a board game I wanted to pitch to Amir. It's

Cluvid19. What else you got? Other board games or just kind of ideas? Because I thought of a drive-thru lotion spot. I haven't come up with the title because it's more about what it is. That's important. Not really the title. The title can obviously come after, especially if investors have ideas for sure. free to pitch um drive through what lotion

spot so and it'd be like what is that like mcdonald's but um instead of getting food you would get uh rubbed so it's kind of like it's massage envy meets like honestly for lack of a better term rallies that sounds extremely illegal if that illegal, then lock me up because I have rubbed lotion into, yeah. Yeah. Really? We will lock you up. Yeah. It's probably for rubbing lotion into people who are ordering a cheeseburger.

Yeah. Probably in your driveway. Well, in high school, I worked at a cafe in Sugar and Falls, Ohio called Lemon Falls. And people would be like, can I get the green smoothie? And I'd be like, I got you. And, you know, neck r neck rubs foot rubs whatever they needed and uh i had clients is what i had i was a minor and i was kind of you know what you know what kind of pressure do you want asking questions like that yeah i'm getting sad now

i can just imagine like a 14 year old jeffrey with like a three-piece suit on and a smoking jacket and a smoking jacket with like hard bottom shoes on just like at work flipping a coin you have a uniform and it's not what you're wearing out of Smootie it's like a Model T in the parking

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Amir, you host a podcast. Why don't you fucking bring something to the table? Oh my god. Holy shit. I love that. For the first time in this entire podcast run, that energy, that's what you need. You're fucking fed up.

We've been pushing you for six months, and it's to get you here. God, that was awesome. No, but like what's on your mind? Like people are interested in your life specifically if they're listening to the HeadGum podcast. Like what's any real estate? Do you notice that my Zoom background is different?

I was going to say something. What room are you in? Same room as usual. I built a new desk. I built a new desk. I built a standing desk. Yeah, but like from a box, right? Like you didn't forge it from two by four. No, God, no.

I didn't build it from scratch. Yeah, I assembled it from Jarvis, the company that made it. But I'm now standing as I talk to you, which is better for my physical well-being than just sitting down hunched over. Over there is where I used to sit. Now I'm up here feeling good yeah the problem is i plugged it into an outlet so i can raise and lower it and the outlet is dead so now i'm committed to standing for the time being until an electrical socket in my house gets fixed which who knows when the next time i want like three people in here fucking coughing looking inside the walls for a few hours to figure out where the where the socket goes awry yeah you can't just reset the circuit or something like go to the circuit breaker i did yeah it's and it's not just

this outlet it's a few of them around the house are like dying and they're all like connected in some weird way and then it's like it's a full multi-day project i guess no that is actually very inhibitive i i used to live in uh i lived in an apartment for a couple of months this year and uh it wasn't that the outlets were dead it's just that they had very little power so my laptop just wouldn't charge i would have to constantly keep it in to kind of it was keeping it afloat it wasn't safe you know what i mean like yeah there was absolutely voltage wise it was just like stasis rather than charge exactly so um glad i got out of there you need yeah you need good outlets it's a it's a game changer i'm running like extension cords all over my house like one thing television's plugged into

like one across the hall this one's dead my new desk can't lower so you know it's it's tough times for everyone not just me but i'm feeling it i'm feeling it as much as anybody else, I think. Yeah. I'm sure homeschooling is also difficult, but like, yeah, my table just won't go any lower than this. My Zoom is on battery power. And you do still have the old desk. It's right behind you, right?

Yeah, this? Yeah. By the way, I'm selling it if anyone needs. Like, did you put it on Greg's list? I need to get rid of it now. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah.

Do you want it? I don't want or need it. $500. There's no way that costs that even at retail. $550, yeah. You're increasing. Well, don't worry about how much it used to cost. But I autographed the bottom of it.

$115. $115 seems fair for that. Deal. I'm not buying it. Can you pick it up today? I'm not buying it. I'm saying that like for someone else. I'll put it outside for him.

There's two steps I want you to take take the first one is just calm down because your shoulders are near your ears the second one is take a photo of it put it to you he's lifting it with all only his back there is also a bunch of shit on the desk now he's sitting on the desk trying to lift it again with his back backwards there's again i've never he's going under the desk to try to push it i haven't seen or heard from Avital in several weeks. So the general assumption slash consensus is that he is sad. I think he's unscrewing each screw with his bare hands. And you don't even mean that he doesn't have gloves on.

He has gloves on. It's just his hands are so thick. They're like a bear. Is it done? Is the deed done? It might need to be. He might need to help me like get it out of this room. I'm not buying it.

If you post a photo of that thing to your Instagram story and say hey. That thing? That thing. It's a desk. You're talking about it like it's. It is an object. I'm not talking about a person.

A thing is fine. If you post that to your Instagram story and say hey $200 OBO you'll sell it that day. But is it to like a random person that i know that will then have to find out where it was just sell it right but i don't want like i don't want random people i don't know showing up at my house so go down to the uh go down to the it's two blocks away from you and then just like you don't have to say that you don't have to yeah okay you don't have to say what i live near or my zip code something shit like like that. Just meet them in the fucking parking lot. I'm not dragging my desk to a fucking

Then you're not going to sell the bitch. You're not going to sell the bitch. You're kidding yourself if you think you're going to sell it on Craigslist and people aren't going to fucking recognize you. How would they recognize me from a picture of a desk on Craigslist? From Lonely and Horny Season 2. Because it's a desk. What was that Marika? They don't need to recognize you because it's a desk and it's probably good so like that should be enough

right? Yeah. I'm not saying they need to. You need to saying they need your star power to sell it would be a nice cool like hgtv show like desks from famous people like furniture from famous people and just that's what i'm saying like i don't even consider myself that famous i mean i have some notoriety but like i should be able to fucking hop flip this desk at a profit like i don't think that's out of the question flip or fly like i have a i'm verified on instagram like that should be worth something and i feel like when i post about it on next door i'm getting these messages like who the fuck are you i never heard of you and i'm like responding publicly too i'm like you don't know who the fuck i am ask your fucking kids and it's like a it's a 20 year old so like he's already in the demo so like and then i'm getting harassed

and i'm trying to like push back a little bit and it's getting to the point where i'm like looking over my shoulder constantly because i feel like you're not welcome in your own neighborhood yeah there's like this tweenager that's been harassing me and i'm like come find me come get this you know i'm like that i'm like that and uh i put my address and now like why did you give him your address what are you talking about well I posted it publicly he's like what are you a little bitch post your fucking address here I'm like alright here it is and I said what it is and now like I'm getting a lot of

like ding dong dash like egging situation yeah TikTok videos in your front door it's fucking annoying and I deleted it but I guess he took a screen grab and he posted it on like a message board that these local teens are it but I guess he took a screen grab and he posted it on like a message board that these local teens are in like I guess

yeah they all sort of communicate with one another yeah and they're harassing me on TikTok it's all the same app it's just TikTok like you don't have to like spread it all over the place it's just TikTok so let me know if you need the I might have to move houses but let me know if you need the desk uproot my family but you can have this desk

yeah I think I have to get out ofroot my family but you can have this desk yeah i think i have to get out of fucking dodge soon but you can come grab the desk i have to leave through the back the back yeah the back is yeah yeah don't worry about where it is you don't have to say where it is this isn't actually where this man lives it is it is it's all correct i am furious he's gonna have to bleep this bleep beep what is it you have to bleep it you have to beep it bleep if it was beep i think it would be like a car horn i think marika can talk a little bit more about that no comment because she is wearing a car horn hat heart uh marika it's such a small thing but it it's Carhartt. You said Carhorn. Yeah, hat. Oh, that was a pun.

That went over my head. Ferris cut that out. That's the first time I felt like a fucking idiot on this show, even though I get told that I am, not only on the show, in the Slack, on email. Cohen just will randomly text me that. Yeah. He shouldn't. I know, but I mean, we don't have an HR department yet.

All right, here we go. Danny, do you wear contacts? No. All right, Mar we go. Danny, do you wear contacts? No. All right. Marika? No. Doesn't she have glasses on? I've never seen you without glasses.

Do you not wear contacts? I don't wear contacts, no. Prescription? Yep. What's the prescription? I don't know, dude. You don't know your own prescription? This is a genuine question.

I have astigmatism. All right. So my eyes aren't that bad, but bad enough that I need glasses. All right have astigmatism. All right. So my eyes aren't that bad, but like bad enough that I need glasses. All right. Then forget this. All right. This episode is coming out on November 27th. And guess what happens the next day?

Your birthday? Oh yeah. What are you going to do? Well, it's my Jordan year. So I feel like I got to celebrate it Danny Sellers style, Chicago and all. What's a Jordan year? Stuck in the house, snowed in, depressed, drinking alcohol and looking out the window trying to

figure out when the fuck you're gonna move to la is that yes honestly i'm not that far from you i'm back in ohio and yeah we're gonna be snowed in and i'm gonna be depressed for sure um no i don't know well the thing is like i we had a question uh we had jake on this show a couple months ago and uh one of the times he was on and i said what doesn't sound like him ferris cut that out just like make it one train of thought um no i don't know well the thing is like i we had a question uh we had jake on this show a couple months ago and uh one of the times he was on and I asked him what the what the best age to be was or at least in his experience and he said

he said 23 and I said I don't think so because I'm about to be 23 and I have nothing to show for it A and B we're in the fucking global pandemic I can't even go I can't go on dates I can't go out I can't go to concerts I can't go to sporting events I can't go even go to the beach is kind of a risk it's like it's

the worst year of my life. You know what I mean? And I think 30, whatever, how old is Jake? 49. He's 35. Yeah.

39. No, 35. You're off by 14 years. Also, like you said, you're saying you're turning 23 this year. And it's the worst year of your life.

It hasn't even started yet. And also it seems very personal to you. Well, it's my attitude that might ruin it. I'm not even talking about the pandemic at this point. Danny, what is your favorite year of your life? Age or just year, like calendar year? Oh, I don't know. I mean, I feel like 21 was pretty tight.

Because you're just like, when you're in college, even though you're broke, everyone else is broke. So it's like, all right, we're just all broke but but you're like at the peak of brokenness like you're months away of from not potential from potentially not being broke it's like the most it's a very carefree it's a carefree age yeah where were you when you were 21 birthday is june 25th so it was during the summer And as a former collegiate athlete, I was at school. So it was just like this ragtag group of summer people vibing in like apartment parties in North Carolina. And it was carefree.

It was pretty tight. Duke, UNC. Neither. You just named either state you just named two schools in like a big ass

state like you're gonna have to keep going there's like there's hundreds hundreds of colleges just not Lesleyan

one little area I went to a Lesleyan yeah it's like Wesleyan but it's a little more southern by the name or is it

legitimately southern I went to Elon I went to Elon yeah the name out or is it legitimately Southern? I went to Elon. Oh, you went to Elon? That's awesome. I know so many people went there. Is that really your middle name? Yep. My buddy Davis went to Elon. And my buddy Elon went to Davis. I knew you were going to say that. I knew you were going to say

that. I have trust issues around this podcast. I don't know what to believe. That's probably very fair. I think it's more real than it isn't i just think it's it's just i don't i guess there's something about my overall air that puts people on edge and like this is exactly how dates go like what this i'm dating all of you guys i'm married like that and you never answered what are you going to do on your birthday do you have any um i think my family's planning a dinner. What if they don't? Like a post Thanksgiving.

What are you going to do if there's nothing planned? Like they're just like, yo. I don't. It's just a random Thursday. They're just like relaxing. Hey! Come downstairs. They're like, what?

Oh, I got it. Just like headphones in, watching TV. How are you how are you gonna react i i will i don't like my own birthday i like other people's birthdays because when it's your birthday you have this like a lot of attention on yourself and like attention can be fine in small doses like if you're like danny you know like amir marika all of you guys are performers you know if you're performing attention is great marika, you're a tap dancer and you got Hamilton tickets by performing the track. And I hate it every second of it.

I don't think so. I have a really bad stage fright. You know, that feels warranted and good and positive. But it's your birthday. You're at dinner with like your closest friends, which I like that. But then it's just like everybody's like, I don't know. The attention, it should be more egalitarian than it is on birthday

for me but then if it's somebody else's birthday I like embarrassing them and making it all about them so what am I doing on my birthday ideally nothing

I think you say that until the day comes and when people are like eating headphones and like not you're gonna be pretty rattled then you're a little sad about it

you're gonna be very rattled yeah we could do whatever you want for dinner do you want to like sparrows or something sabara's the mall food court pizza i mean you said you didn't want to do anything for your birthday so i figure we can all just go to like i don't know we'll do like yoshinoya or something for lunch and then the beef bowls the gray beef bowls you should you should send him yoshinoya from have it travel from cal to Ohio they definitely don't have Yoshinoya

near me I'm in the middle of the country sorry to hear that no it's a good thing that's the one positive there's not a Yoshinoya in sight I can't drive five blocks near my house in LA without seeing a fucking beef bowl ad that's fine he's pissed off about them

yeah just an ad they just want to make money They just want to make money, sir. They have families too. No, I just get upset. Yeah. Yeah, you do just get upset. What have you guys been doing? Look, we started this show

at the beginning of quarantine, right? Basically, like April, May. It was kind of novel to hear what everyone was... Don't laugh. This is a very serious question. This is what... I was just talking to Marika before we started recording this.

I'm trying to find a happy middle ground between going way too absurd, like between two ferns, and just being a boring talk show like any other advice show or anything. This is a serious question, just saying. When we started this show, it was interesting to hear what people were doing in their quarantine. You know, we're all home for the first time

we don't know what's going on, what's going to happen, how long is this going to last people are making sourdough, what have you Now, we're in the thicks we're in the thick of it, we're in the throes of it I think it's finally again an interesting question to ask what have you been doing in quarantine? Yeah, that's fair. I'll go

first. I'll go first. I've truly just been watching too many movies and too much television. That's how I spend all of my time. I finish work, I close my computer, and I turn on my TV, and I'm just constantly looking at screens all day. It's great. It's pretty tight. I started a new job, so I'm trying to keep that so that's been a lot of my time

is getting ramped up and collaborating with Marika so thank you so much I got a stationary I got a stationary bike I was gonna try to make a joke not this one but it was so genuine that I couldn't do it thank you so much for

guiding me in my career everybody's gonna shit on me um now i got a stationary bike so that's pretty tight um not a peloton not in that i was gonna ask not in that tax bracket yet but oh i don't want to give people i don't know if we're allowed to just shout out brands jeff has asked for people's salaries multiple times on this show you shouldn't tell him but he's just know that there's a precedence for it I am curious a little bit like what are they

offering at HeadGum nowadays because I'm definitely locked into what I was making in 2016 and I just there's been no increase there's been no raises yeah no it's just 40 just enough to get by you know oh so like 28 yeah $28 an hour yeah really so over double what i make when you say it like that it seems like you're being underpaid but if you look at the output

it's fairly accurate output based compensation yeah i work on commission and um that sucks for me just because of you know you don't sell anything what have you been doing during the quarantine recently i've been um uh well i just came back to ohio and i've been in quarantine because i my dad's immunocompromised we talked about this in a lot of this episode it doesn't matter it matters to me but not for the show um so i've just been in a guest bedroom quarantining so i've been uh I've been watching Gilmore Girls to be sure. Are you listening to Gilmore Guys? I will afterwards.

I don't necessarily want to do it as I go because it's just that's a lot of media. I'm excited to listen to it once I know. But like, dude, Luke was woke. I never watched. I thought you watched for sure. I thought you watched. Yeah. Watching Gilmore Girls doing yoga for the first time. I never watched. I thought you watched for sure. I thought you watched. Um, yeah.

Watching Gilmore girls, uh, doing yoga for the first time. I mean, I, I did yoga a couple of times over a summer a few years ago, but it was hot yoga. So I just always leave feeling awful.

So now I'm trying to do it. Yes. Yeah. Without, you know, dehydrating and exhausting myself. Not from like, it's supposed to make you more in tune with your body,

not make you have out of body experiences because you're so dehydrated. So bad. I, I've only been to hot yoga twice in my life. And the second time it was when I was in high school and I like walked into this room and the only spot left was right by the heater. Oh my God. And I like,

and I didn't realize. And so I was doing it and I was like, I can't, I need to leave the room. Like I can't breathe. And I literally had to and I was like I can't I need to leave the room like I can't breathe and I literally had to ask the teacher if I could go and she refused and just made me lay there lock the door in the room she was like you can't leave like you're not allowed to leave so I was just like lying there on my back like hyperventilating for 10 more minutes

she just she I she wouldn't let me. I guess I could have, but I was like apparently opening the door was like a gust of wind that like actually helps people out. Yeah. Gives them their second wind. She would die. Fucking panic attack. Yeah. Yeah, it was bad.

So I never returned to Bikram ever again. Amir, what about you? Experimenting with anything in the bedroom or? Yeah, you can tell. No, I only said that because I could see that he wanted to leave and I was like, I gotta give him an out. Oh, how the sausage gets made.

How do you guys deal with seasonal depression but also just kind of general depression? Not well. watching tv all the time break a sweat i got this little bootleg stationary bike and uh dog walks during the day are pretty tight nothing that brings your mood up then more than picking up dog shit that's always pretty good it's it's almost instantaneous too like the motion of you picking it up makes your mood up at the same time the warmth and it's like cold outside

yeah what kind of dog do you have? French Bulldog that's cute I love Frenchies would you ever get a dog Jeff? yeah I would I'm not gonna lie I don't know if you know this about me Danny I got bit in the face by a Basset hound earlier this year

Oh what? Damn That's not even like an aggressive ass doll I know Well I don't want to give Rottweilers or Pitbulls worse raps But that's like the sleepiest most

slowest what were you doing i was kissing it good night sellers that's a that's that's horrible for your i like to say no it's well it was an encapsulation of my love life um i try to do good and i get bitten in the fucking face um no my mom was fostering a dog it was was not a basset hound. Um, and, uh, it was just very flighty and I didn't, I, she had told me that, but that night the dog was like laying on my lap. It was, I was petting her. She like was looking up at me with these like puppy dog eyes. I was like, oh, I got through to her.

Like she loves, she likes me. She trusts me. And I thought she was, she was, she dozed off. I go, I'm about to go to sleep. Let me kiss it on the forehead. I kiss it on the forehead. Uh, it's past traumas, whatever they they might be came up to the surface and the subconscious state bit me almost in the eyeball um so uh you want to know how i got this scar um it was from a dog

uh but that definitely like look i love i still love dogs but it definitely set me back maybe a couple years of like when I'll get a dog. I'm also just like too young to, I think, take care of a dog. Yeah, I would love a dog. I just can't. I feel like this is not the time for me to get a dog this year. And I know I have friends that have gotten cats and dogs this year, but I can't. Yeah, I got mine during, well, summer we got we got little jamal so it was before it was before the pandemic is he little he's 32 pounds he's decent little frenchy you know

medium yeah i love that yeah i mean well i mean that's what it's all about is companionship and you know on a you know on unconditional love and getting bit in the face that's a crazy breed to get bit it wasn't a basset hound she was like a mixed breed dog i don't exactly know but it's funny they keep it like it's like lions say it was a bass well i yeah i've been trying to milk it for comedic value because otherwise it's just physically and emotionally painful uh because you can't see it in this lighting but i do have a scar on my forehead in the in the most awkward place possible and it looks like a pimple but uh it's fading i think it'll be better and if not there's always like creams and elective surgeries that you can do um oh no i was just saying elective

surgeries uh i think that about wraps up this week's show marika is there anything you want Oh, no, I was just saying elective surgeries. I think that about wraps up this week's show. Marika, is there anything you want to plug personally or professionally? High and mighty power hour, but that happened before this. Which was, Danny, I don't know if you heard it. It's that this guy, one of the co-hosts of Doughboys can suck his own dick. What? Oh, my God.

I didn't even think that was actually possible. Even if you have a huge dick, you have a spine and you have a rib cage. That's nuts. I don't know, man. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. At Marie Galon. When is it appropriate to follow your co-workers?

I might not have followed you yet, Danny. I think the day you start. Nah, hell no. I do that. I don't Danny I think the day you start Nah hell no I do that I don't think it's the day you start but I think it's pretty soon after like once you actually talk to them a little bit Also like the culture at HeadGum is very like I don't know I think we're all friends

We're also like not ever in the same room this year so I can see why it's like a weird like I'm not gonna do it yet sort of thing that's all I had to say I still have my job follow Headcum

if you have a nice large podcast go to gumball.fm so you'll help me with next week whenever this drops make my week a lot easier if i get people interested in joining yeah follow me follow sellers on all social media anything else i'm working on or doing will be there thank you for having me oh yeah um you can follow me on instagram and tiktok at i am jeffrey james twitter at don't play no james and uh we'll see

you guys again next week. Thanks. Thank you guys for joining me. Have a great weekend and everybody, I hope you guys had a happy Thanksgiving and everybody celebrate my birthday tomorrow. Right? Yeah. It's a Saturday so people

might as well like shotgun a beer cellar style. I think so. so yeah they can celebrate in their own way seller's style tears running down your eyes looking out the window it's from the bubbles it's from the boat old style actually is like i think one of my favorite light beers though i wish it was more widely available yeah it's a good little it's always i don't know if they're always tall boys but but it's a good tall... It's a really good dive bar beer. It's typically $2 to $3 in Chicago.

It's a nice little vibe. Ideal. When was the last time you did a shot of Malort? Probably like, not this summer, but the summer before. So you broke up with somebody? Last winter. Okay. No, somebody was in town.

You know, people come to town, they're like, oh, do you know about Malort? Let's try it. It's like the In-N-Out of LA. like sir this is my stomach hurts whenever i eat this or drink this i can't change my life just because you're on vacation right yeah in and out when i lived in san franc-N-Out ruined my days multiple times. It was like a ticking time bomb. If I eat In-N-Out, call the Uber as I'm finishing this last three fries because my body is shutting down.

Yeah. All right, well, we'll get your full story of where you've lived because I didn't know you lived in San Francisco, but this is the little cliffhanger. So keep listening to the Hiccup Podcast. We'll get Seller's Story. That's an episode title for future reference. S story mark write that down ferris we're gonna

come up with it together all right arrivederci That was a Hiddem Original.