The Headgum Podcast - 28: And Johnny's Gonna Do His Thing

Episode Date: December 11, 2020

Micah, Johnny, and Amir join Geoff to discuss their favorite drinks, John Mayer, and the bright side of COVID-19.Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Me and all my friends were all misunderstood they say we stood for nothing and there's no way we'd ever yeah fuck did you prepare that i i worked on that for like a calendar week and um is that a guinness it's actually a sea hag oh okay so you've been talking to my uncle that's what he used to call me sea hag um with this is never before is amir blumenfeld micah hurwitz johnny villa and of course myself uh marika brownlee um it's another episode of the headgum podcast we haven't done one of these we haven't done one of these in general since last tuesday in terms of recording which is like not it's too long for me to be away from this show one and two amir you haven't been on for two weeks yeah that's right

i did the episode before the last episode you don't have to wear a mask on the show we're not together yeah i know i'm just trying to be overly safe are you standing yeah i got a standing desk that's my new like don't don't take your mask off when you're not talking and then put it back on when you're talking because it's going to be bad for audio quality and there's no logic behind it that's it yeah i got that so keep it on or keep it on because you're in the room alone right yeah but there's like a window here and I don't know what's filtering in from the street. So I'm just trying to be like,

so close the window, right? Well, I enjoy the fresh air. Like it's nice, natural sunlight. You're in a closet. You wouldn't get it,

but yeah, this is fucked. Um, Micah, what are you drinking? Cheers. Uh, a sea hag.

fucked um micah what are you drinking cheers uh sea hag it's an ipa it's a new england ipa right indian pale ale that's right an indian pale ale little hoppy india pale ale yes india yeah that's what i said an india pale ale you said indian pale ale it's it's also indian in addition for it to be it's not racist but it really sounded racist coming from you yeah i was just saying that it's uh yeah it's a it's a basically it's a pale like as far as ales are concerned it's india and it's pale for sure yeah uh what are you drinking jeff i'm drinking a revolution brewing um oh god what's it called anti-hero ipa it's a chicago staple so i you know for better for worse we don't have danny sellers on here to confirm that it is choice but you would like it sweet i look forward to trying it one day it looks like

it's that same golden color yeah it looks like we for all intents and purposes we're drinking the same thing yeah right i'm not a huge fan of the cloudy, the hazy IPAs. They taste like milk. Yeah, right. The mouthfeel does. I think a lot of them actually have like lactose in them. That's too much for me. I don't want dairy.

I love a creamy ale though, like a pale Indian. What's that? I said I like a creamy, almost milky, frothy, pale ale, like almost creamy almost milky frothy pale ale like almost like a milky almost like a have you ever had a Guinness yes yes we just were talking about it I was

tased earlier today for accidentally robbing a bank that's to be able to even accidentally robbing means that you did grab cash which could not have been an accident because of how many security measures are in place i had a candy bar in my pocket at city bank and i was asked to remove it and i couldn't hear it because i was listening to a podcast so i said the head gun podcast of course so i said everybody be cool right like which is just like we're all having fun here but i had my hands in my pockets

and uh i have a i carry around a king size frozen snickers which i guess resembles a gun sometimes right so i said everybody be cool and everyone started freaking out i'm still listening to the show so i can barely process what the fuck is going on at all this time i i enjoy it like this is completely unrelated to me liking a milky beer and then yeah yeah uh smash cut so wait yeah let's say yeah no let's just say for the sake of argument people know that it's a candy bar and not a gun it's still not normal to be blasting a podcast in your ears and be trying to also kind of maintain a conversation and especially starting that conversation with everybody stay cool are you talking about the beer thing or the no it has nothing to do with the beer you just said it had nothing to do with the beer

okay yeah yeah i just want i feel like we're talking about two things still on now we're talking about three things. Mask is still on. Now we're talking about three things at once. I'll Venmo you $5 if you take the mask off. Wow. This is Micah on the street to a homeless 80-year-old. Breathe. I'll give you, and I'll give you 10 if you

just breathe in my mouth. I get off to that shit. We can keep going up. Johnny, what are you drinking? what are you drinking, if anything? I'm not drinking anything. There's no soft liquor, for lack of a better term, in the house. It's all hard liquor. Got it.

And I don't want to toy around with the devil's liquid, as they call it. Jesus. I don't know if they do. the devil's liquid, as they call it. Jesus. I don't know if they do. At least my parents call it that. Right. So they have it and they keep it, but they don't approve of anyone drinking it. Oh, of course. It's all for show.

Amir's gone. That's a good start. That's baby. You know what? Well, so Amir's back in his frame of the video and on the show. But you know what else is back,'s back in his frame of the video and on the show but you know what else is back johnny oh what's back conversation enders i was on the discord today and somebody was like i miss the conversation enders and marika's not on the show this week so i thought maybe this week we go a little off the rails or not okay mike was really i was really hoping for jeopardy

um we don't have jeopardy we have we have two other segments you might like that are similar to jeopardy but first let's just get into it um i obviously opened a little bit of uh you know a bag and let the cat out right because i said uh amir don't text anybody else during the show um i said i i basically forced uh john george former interned in front of the network to name three things he disliked about jake and uh i was lambasted roasted over a fucking skillet this earlier today on the slack for like trying to keep things light and i don't think that that was very fair b i have a way to write seemingly what people thought was a wrong but i thought was a right so let's write the right or wrong okay what was that i don't

understand any of that that was so meandering and then it just ended like we knew what to do but it didn't make any sense my audio cut out for the first half of it that's fine and i assumed it all made sense but it didn't be in the show the preface will be in the show but all you guys need to do is name three things that i could be better at each wait three things that you could be better at than jake or just no and then yourself person yeah yeah your internet is cutting out so i guess your internet Wait, three things that you could be better at than Jake or just... No, as a person. Yeah, yeah. Your internet is cutting out.

So I guess your internet could be better. You're often unprepared. You're ill-prepared for things. So your internet's bad and you're late in addition to that. Yeah, and you don't seem to have very good interpersonal skills. You put people on the spot a lot and it makes them uncomfortable. Everybody here is ill at ease, if that makes sense. All right.

Yeah. You're sort of like an uncomfortable chair. Yeah. So to be in your presence. Yeah. It feels like there's a knot in all of our collective backs. Right. Yeah.

There's five. I don't know if anyone else has anything. It was so fast. I thought that because when I said, hey, everybody named three things that you hate about Jake. Everybody really took a long pause and they couldn't think of anything. I ask you just off the top, like three things I could be better at. And you name them as almost as if you had them written down somewhere. Yeah. Fashion wise, you tried way too hard.

Like you often like look at like what looks good and you like mix and match and try to figure out like what you could wear. Like watch wise, what hats and what like things are of the fashion. But it reeks of effort. So just stylistically, sartorially, it seems like too much. You spend your time on things that are super mundane. Don't learn about people's addresses. Don't learn about watches.

Don't learn about what the cool restaurants to eat and fucking shit, like places you'll never go to. Just focus your energy and effort on important shit i guess so you're like all over the place in a bad way and then you're slow about it too so it's like a shitty machine gun spraying like soap everywhere it's like kind of helpful but ultimately annoying to clean up epic burn couldn't have said it better myself all right we'll call that one thing that's five i really feel i really feel like we have to move on because amir just has locked and loaded with so many things that ring true so i'm afraid that i'm gonna burst into tears

on the show oh yeah bursting into tears you see very fragile emotionally too it seems like you can dish stuff out but you can't take it in so like you're often like grumpier in a sour sad mood you don't seem to sleep well either you'll text me at all hours of the night late at night early in the morning i guess there are some demons there that you want to exercise that you haven't worked through so like you deflect i guess you use sense of humor as like a defense mechanism. Yeah. You're like, often you avoid having serious conflict or conversations by making jokes.

So there's like something there that you don't want to address. Almost like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I joke around with my therapist a lot and she's like, no, let's really get to the heart of it.

And it's just hard, you know, because like there's so much, it's like, how do you stop an avalanche before it it happens right yeah exactly right the wheels are in motion yeah you're not a good listener either cars yeah you're not a good it's a horse you know like the idea is that there's a horse and he's chomping at the bit and if you open that gate it's just gonna go full steam ahead and the race isn't starting yet right exactly uh johnny three things i could be better at uh i think amir really really hit it out of the park with this one um do you mind like repeating

all of those amir like well i feel that if you can still harp on it i will versus punctuality poor internet i think we're the first to punctuality you're off the lane for things you're disorganized you're scattered yeah you're not good at listening you cut people off you make people feel i don't cut people off. You make people feel ill at ease. I don't cut people off. What I want to do, sorry, keep going, but I'll keep going. Yeah, I was saying you make people feel uncomfortable. I don't try to do that.

Yeah, online and in person. You seem to be using sense of humor as a defense mechanism to hide demons. You don't sleep well. I think those are the big like six or seven. All right. That wasn't too bad because I talked over him so i didn't hear anything yeah so that is something that you can also improve on micah three things that could be better um i i really think you're great man i don't have any criticism and the crazy fucking thing the crazy fucking thing is that like

amir just listed like 10 things that he genuinely dislikes about me. And like it was really sticking with me. But that one piece of praise that you gave me will stick with me for the rest calendar year. Yeah. I'll name three things that I think you're like that I think you're like really good at. OK. So like you're good at like drinking a beer with your left hand because I just saw you do that. You brought it up to your mouth.

That was pretty good. Well, that's like that's simple. You're you're good at like you're good at talking into a microphone because i can see that you're you're doing that that's like well right now and then i think you're also like you're not bad at wearing a hat like the hat could be a little less shallow everything you just said are like passive movements it's pretty solid don't take effort or skill three compliments back to back to back you're welcome so i feel like you're back to neutral right like between what i said and what micah says i feel like net zero you're not bad

at wearing a hat and you can use your left hand but you said that i'm bad at functionality and punctuality yeah you're you're not a man to me well what is being a man even right does it mean like being on time being responsible everything adults about everything yeah yeah you're right I thought

it maybe didn't mean that you're a baby worm what about having like a childlike sense of curiosity you're a you're a pupa is that anything you're a pupa to me yeah you're a

little maggot yeah you're a maggot. A leech. Yeah. Yeah. This was the first one. This was the first conversation ender. So.

Oh, here's a compliment, Jeff. You're like very easily enthused. I think that's not a compliment. That means that shiny objects catch my attention willy nilly you're like easily excited about things so you're fun to be around alright what's

who's the most fascinating person you've ever met for better or for worse the most fascinating person we met for worse Rukia's pretty interesting. Sacks. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.

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Check it out. All right. Let's hear about some adventures you guys have been on. Micah, you're an adventurer. Would you like to start us off? You just want to hear about any adventure that I've ever been on? Well, you know, like things are starting to get better. We're starting to see some lights at the end of the tunnel vaccine wise,

but for the time being, I want to live by, by curiously. Last Saturday I went to like this nutso rave. It wasn't socially distant or anything. Yeah. And it was, yeah, but like it was, but it wasn't an enclosed or anything but it was but it wasn't an enclosed space so everybody was really close to each other and yeah it was just like it was lit everyone was wasted like doing a bunch of drugs

this is during shelter in place warning this was last weekend also don't you use but I'm just saying wrong i did because he's saying yeah because you said uh i went to this not so rave and there was a ton of people there but it was in an enclosed space like but it was oh but there was this thing which made it safe i think it was another thing but it's not like we were wearing masks or anything right for our faces

it should be and you asked me about an adventure I went on and I was just answering the question. Sorry, yeah, go on. No, that's it. So, you went a couple blocks away to a warehouse party? I didn't say a couple blocks. Well, where was it then? Deep Bushwick.

Like a couple blocks away from my apartment. Yeah, right yeah i didn't say that before though you look like you're in a war bunker yeah i'm actually in connecticut right now on the real oh you are yeah i'm in this uh podcast studio that jake built are you guys both with family right now yes nice quarantining of course i was joking about the rave thing right um what's uh can we talk about the the housing situation jake told me a little bit about it or is it something you want to keep on the down low what housing situation that jake bought a place and you're going to live in the downstairs unit oh is that what he said that's undetermined so that's not

what happened so you bought the place and i didn't buy a place i bought oh you're talking about jake's place that i that i funded technically no yeah uh yeah jake bought an apartment or jake bought a house and there's a basement that i might live in that's true but you had to submit a formal application and the application's still pending? Still pending, yeah. So Jake has to approve you? Yeah, technically. Jesus, I'm sorry to hear that. Will you be my guarantor?

Like, what do I have to say that I'm on the hook for? The whole rental fees in case I'm delinquent on rent. For how long? What are the chances of you being delinquent on rent. For how long? What are the chances of you being delinquent on rent though? Pretty high. Cause I actually just, I gave Marty my two weeks earlier. You signed a lease with your brother and then quit your job.

You applied to live with Jake and you quit your job. Yeah. I job? Yeah. I guess, yeah. These are all the facts. And then I was asking you to be my guarantor. No, I will not. I guarantee I will not be your guarantor. Absolutely not.

I feel like you're already... Thanks for considering. You just Venmo requested me for $3,700. I said I would not be your guarantor. Another one, $5,200. Jesus Christ. What's the plan? Like, are you going to another job?

Or you signing a pretty expensive lease if it's $3,700 a month, and then you're quitting your job, but still coming on this show? I feel like I have some big opportunities coming up. And I don't want to be busy with work when they come to me does that make any sense

do you have irons in the fire or you just feel like intuitively something's going to come your way yeah it's sort of more of an intuitive sense that I think something is coming my way yeah I don't know that's optimistic but like no yeah alright lightning round.

Best alcoholic drink. Three, two, one, Johnny, go. Fireball. God, Micah, three, two, one, go. A cocktail or an old-fashioned? Old-fashioned. Amir, three, two, one, go. Give me a cranberry cider on the side,

and guess what I'm drinking it next to. A bridge? A bridge? A bridge is right. We don't need a big, long-winded explanation of why you ended up next to a bridge. Best non-alcoholic drink. Three, two, one, Micah, go. Water. Johnny, three, two, one, go.

Milk. God. So we have fireball and milk from johnny amir best on alcoholic drink three two one go i like a mango la croix oh that's good all right uh favorite restaurant again lightning round micah three two one go uh the smith in in new york it's like uh there's multiple locations kind of a chain got it johnny three two one go applebees fireball milk and applebees i'm a simple man you're a simple ton amir favorite restaurant three two 1 go Dallas BBQ Midtown Manhattan all you can ribs

for $4.99 and did I mention where it's located Midtown Manhattan yeah I was going to say next to a bridge but yeah all you can ribs all you can ribs

yeah what does that even mean all you can ribs all you can five dollars yeah what does that what does that even mean all you can eat ribs i wish they have giblets and riblets and gimlets all right uh last question of conversation, Enders. Amongst your friends, what are you most known for? We'll start with Johnny, seemingly arbitrarily. I'm the one who likes to do creative things on the side. That's really my thing in my friend group, I guess.

Interesting. Yeah yeah you need better friends man and i've been telling marika this for weeks but i just just confirmed it that means your friends aren't creative you're friends with suits have you seen entourage you've been talking to marika about this behind my back for weeks i shouldn't have said that marika's really been the catalyst of the conversations i just am kind of yesmanning her because I don't want to get on her bad side. Obviously not. Yeah, it's called Brownlee's bad side. You're sweating so much

and trying to kind of recoup your losses when I immediately kind of just assume that you were the one who was starting these conversations. And I'm sure that I'm right because you're really, really nervous right now. Well, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place you're the rock and brownlee's the hard place like it's the two power players in head gum canon really and I just don't want to be caught in the middle of it

can you at least apologize for talking behind my back I'm sorry why so in disingenuine like not it's not even genuine amir among your friends what are you most known for i am the fastest server west of the mississippi wi-fi or huh what are you do you work at a restaurant on the side or do you just have a fast speed? I basically can play table tennis with the breast of them. Meaning? Anybody with a breast, I'm somewhat their equal

or a little bit lesser than. Okay. That's what you're known for? Ferris cut that out what why i thought it was a very apt answer ferris keep it in i thought it was a daft answer thank you we agree mike being jacked yeah lean yeah very disciplined i've been working out training yeah my entire life you're always working out training always yeah always always on a regimen you made it sound like you just recently in like the fall we're like really on a kick but it's always i always make

it seem like i was recently on a kick why what what benefit because i'm always on a kick um you went to santa barbara right ucsb how was that dope that's welcome to always look on the bright side of life uh covid deaths reached um 276 000 today in the u.s um so I thought that we could do like a fun little segment where I kind of shoot off some really grim statistics at you guys and just kind of facts about where we're at and you guys try and

you know look on the bright side, offer some hope in these hopeless times so anybody feel free to chime in. Let's start with that one. 276,000 dead as of today, December 4th.

Let's look on the bright side, though. Okay. That's mostly old people, right? That's good. Alright. Natural selection in a way. I don't think so. Our senior citizens are some of our It's mostly old people, right? That's good. All right. Why is that good? Natural selection in a way. I don't think so. Our senior citizens are some of our most sacred part of the population.

I mean, they have so much wisdom. If anything, we've lost more years because of that than if it was an equal distribution of people dying. You can make a case that... I really wish that I had known that several years ago because i kind of made a habit of like tripping old folks down the escalator you wish you had known what that they're like sacred and wise and have something to offer instead of just me going oh let me off her oh my god that's actually a hate crime you murderer all right all right let's rein it in let's bring it in johnny what about you bring what in you said

two terrible things and now it's on johnny to do what exactly kind of bring us back to a stasis i find it difficult to even bounce back from that horrible, horrible statistic. Okay. Yeah, it is. Okay. That's the game.

That's the game is to bounce back from that horrible. I feel like there, there are some like bright sides of COVID, you know, there are some silver linings, but you, you shared a fact with us that was just like, it's kind of impossible to.

So you're saying even the best silver linings. Well, because you're asking us to find a silver lining in the fact that 280,000 people died. Quarter million Americans died from this disease. All right. What about this? This is Jim Jeffries, and he's like, he's trying to look on the bright side of COVID. this is um this is jim jeffries and he's like he's trying to look on the bright side of covid the only silver lining about covid is that i saw silver linings playbook who's that he um he's like an australian comedian and he has a show that my uh my buddy actually works for is he funny because you just made him sound like a complete moron well i've never seen the show um his his first his name is jeffrey james

jeffries or something though it's like there's something about it where it's like we have the same name almost his name is jim jeffries he just said his name maybe it's james jeffries then i don't fucking care right then, then the Jim is the nickname. Sure, sure. Oh yeah, his name is Jeff James Nugent. Oh, there you go. Oh wait, so yeah, so 280,000 people died, but Jim Jeffries saw Silver Linings Playbook.

So there you go. All right. Not even. Yeah, it was just the impression that he did. At this rate, everyone is going to have celebrated a birthday during COVID. But let's look on the bright side. Gives you a chance to be more introspective and appreciative of the things that you have. No, I love it.

I love it. This is what I wanted from the segment and this is why I knew Micah would shine for this then you have Johnny and he's sitting here on the yellow beanie pissed you haven't said anything for the past four and a half minutes you're sort of cutting in and out I kind of want to I want to double down on the bad wi-fi thing I think that can definitely be improved yeah I just want people at home to know that he's cutting in and out during the accusations. So it's really hard to come back from them. Is this fine now?

Am I back or what's going on? Yeah, you're back. Yeah, you're good now. We can hear you. All right. Johnny. What? What?

Johnny, what? you said some horrible things the conversation and then you just fucking say Johnny's name the worst lead in you could possibly have I'm telling you man I'm gonna be on my late night shit eventually this is how Carson

what's that no way no way Carson came up he did radio almost sure but what you're doing is terrible interviewing reading awful things and then saying somebody's name that's not a setup I know more people who have lost their jobs than kept them chance for a new opportunity there you go and and you're kind of doing this to yourself like you're literally putting in your two weeks right and yeah putting yourself in the position that other people like were forced into basically that's right yeah all right last one last one basically. That's right.

Yeah. All right. Last one. Last one. In a recent straw poll, researchers found that depression is up 38% since daylight savings began. What would Johnny do? So you've completely forgotten the segment.

You changed the game. That wasn't the game. Thank you. I did change the game. I appreciate that. would johnny do what depression is up what would johnny do about that or what well johnny now that you have this information what what are you going to do about it? And you don't have to do anything. I think I might have to intervene.

What? With what? How? What are you talking about? I think I'm just going to step in, you know? This is crazy. Kind of like reach out to a friend? No, just like, you know, put my two cents in. Where? To who?

Jeff's idiocy is fucking contagious. I can't believe it's spreading. So wait, so depression has went up 38% since Daylight Saving Times has begun. And Johnny wants to put his two cents in. Yes. What does that mean, Johnny? Much like you put your two weeks in. In a way.

But it's different. Yeah. Because I'm sort of abandoning something and Johnny seems like he wants to contribute to something. All right. Johnny's gonna do his thing. Yes! he laughed of course he laughed of course he laughed

oh god um this is john mayer at hotel cafe it's one of his best solos ever that's john mayer yeah his voice is really low in that one so this is a um this is a segment i just thought we could give our thoughts on this solo let's kind of dissect it Johnny I know you play Micah you're kind of musical in the way you go about life I play guitar I didn't know that even better I've played it before

So you don't play I don't play anymore I used to You should pick it back up. It's great for COVID. This is where it gets crazy. Right here. This is what they call the breakdown, Johnny. Right?

I guess, yeah. It's okay to kind of get into it. You can kind of sway in the morning or otherwise. Right? Yeah, I guess I could sway, but I don't see how this would be beneficial for the audience at all. Well, it's an audio medium, but they are hearing the music, so they can sway along with us.

Just picture Johnny kind of going hog wild. He's going nuts in here. Are you able to leave this into the actual audio file or is that like yeah you don't have to license it or anything oh shit um i didn't think about that so it might be a lot of silence yeah it might be a silence here yeah in a way you can make guitar noises with your mouth and then all right so it's like do that yeah do it after though do that yeah back in no let me just get it wild now so that i don't have to record again it's okay it's okay now johnny just johnny no no this is

beyond fucked I like this is one that I put a lot of work into and um the past two episodes I put nothing into I didn't have any segments and people are like online praising them they're saying these are the best episodes yet and then when I try it comes across like this

like what you don't think this was a good episode I had a lot of fun what i never know that's the issue i never know um do you guys let's let's do this johnny you take the floor i'll take the floor yeah okay sure um all right so let's wax poetic about our favorite um fast food choices i don't know if you guys are fast food junkies like i am but i love me a good uh wendy's four for four it's cheap and uh it fills you up pretty nicely what's included in the four for four uh so you have the option between this is me at the drive-thru so you have the option between, this is me at the drive-thru.

So you have the option between like a little junior bacon cheeseburger or a little chicken sandwich. And on top of that, you get a four-piece chicken nuggets and a small fries and a drink. And the drink, the small drink is actually kind of like quite big. Yeah. But yeah, I think it's pretty filling and it's pretty cheap i actually ate it um every day of my sophomore year of college because i did not have a meal plan and it was pretty incredible did you do the math on that because that's like that's 28 a week which is cheaper than the meal plan is it actually more expensive i didn't do the math but i i know i got it no meal plans are

expensive they're like several thousand dollars um that sounds good though can you get a frosty as the drink or is that off limits i I think it is on limits, but I never tried because ice cream in the middle of the day is never really my strong suit. I mean, you're already kind of going all in on the four for four. He wants to be healthy. Of course.

Best fast food joint? Probably, it's got to be like chipotle well he didn't say place he said choice so like what do you get and where so what's your chipotle order yeah it's like um half serving of rice white or brown whatever you want and then veggies pinto beans veggies pinto beans um you've never been to double chicken double yeah he's reading off the menu right now yeah you're frantically googling it yeah well a double chicken pico de gallo oh you always gotta do double chicken yeah but you make it healthy you don't get like cheese and sour cream do you want guac with that? It's extra. Yeah, I'm going to get the guac.

Okay, okay. And you want a life hack? Go to Chipotle and you ask for meat and you don't say, can I have double meat? You let them fill it up and then you say, can I get a little extra? And they don't charge you? No, they say, well, that's going to,

I'm going to have to charge you for double meat. And then you say, sure. So you do get double meat. Yeah yeah you end up paying for it but then they like kind of resent you a little bit so you end up paying it like both in anxiety and with your wallet right and then you get to the front and you just yeah hawk over your card you give them a little wink at the end it's a little extra um i mean chipotle is a good is a good go-to like in terms of fast food that i eat normally chipotle is up there because yeah you can definitely make it healthy which johnny you don't have to fucking worry about what you know when you have my genetic predisposition you gotta kind of have to figure it out um i start bursting i burst into tears um if i'm if i'm throwing caution to the wind i think um

chick-fil-a and that's also throwing political affiliations aside yeah yeah wait let me actually redo my answer if we could throw political affiliations um and uh what was the other thing you said caution to the caution to the wind in terms of health in terms of health then i think i would probably say chick-fil-a yeah but if we're going health i'm gonna go like micah chipotle double chicken i do no rice yeah if if oh that's that's actually kind of savage if you're doing this every day every day you should probably do chipotle versus like a four by four by uh for, for Wendy's. I mean, Johnny's in good shape.

It's he didn't, he did it every day for a calendar year and he looks like that. So yeah. Frail. So if you're listening, just know that if you're not hot, you're not valued. Why?

Why is this your soapbox right now? What's that? You're kind of judging people by the looks that my dad told me when i was nine your dad told and you said you've been seeing a therapist my dad took a fucking measuring tape wrapped it around my bust and said yeah you're a 34c then he said verbatim if you're not hot you're not valued in this family, in this culture and in this house. I don't know why the house came last. Like that was the most important.

But Chipotle double chicken is exactly right. It's exactly what? Exactly rice, brown or white. Okay, nice. No guac? Guac, is it extra? Yeah, guac is going to be extra, yeah. Yeah, I'll do it.

I'll do it. But only because I'm in a good mood. And then we have a rapport, and suddenly I get her digits, and then we're texting, we're sexting, and she's next. What do you mean she's next? I don't like the way that's out. I don't like the way that's out. No, in my little black book in my little black

book it's like you know do you ever preemptively write somebody's name down like oh uh we're gonna fuck you know what i mean absolutely not never really you guys don't have a to-do list micah left okay it's just the two guys you know core two yeah and honestly this is how it should be honestly i've been meaning to pitch you a show it's basically the head gum podcast but it's just johnny and jeff and so it's johnny and jeff and then that's the title of it and then it's like what's it about well it's kind of the show about nothing seinfeld did pretty fucking well so i think that this podcast is going to be fine sounds like a good opportunity quite honestly sounds like a good

opportunity like it's gonna really forward your career it's gonna for sure set you back I'm okay with that I love starting from scratch it's an opportunity to go backwards so that you can start from scratch

tabula rasa blank slate logic oh my god um i had a lot of fun on this episode johnny uh do you have anything to plug anything to plug um no not really right now you can follow me on instagram at johnny v j-o-h-n-n-y v-i-i uh did you hop off private because you were on private when i followed you uh yeah i did hop off private i am working on things uh not posting anything yet but i still have a lot of projects in the works that i'm very, very excited about. And they're all going to live on Instagram. That's my digital medium.

Really? Yes. Well, can I give them a little sneak peek of what you've been working on? I don't know how you got it, but sure, I guess. Thank you guys so much for listening to this week's episode of the HeadGum Podcast. If you have time, give us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts. If you don't have time or you're not going to give us five stars, don't bother. And Johnny, you have the floor.

Send us out. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well. Sacks. Johnny's going to do his thing. That was a Hidgum Original.