The Headgum Podcast - 30: Actually Vaccinated

Episode Date: December 25, 2020

Clare, Pile, and Marika join Geoff to discuss shandies, paternity leave, and lying. Plus they play a round of Hot or Not: Coffee Edition!Subscribe to the new Headgum podcast Keeping Records on your favorite podcast app!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Welcome back to another edition of the HeadGum Podcast. We got a combination, not only for the road, but for the ages, that fans have not yet seen before. We've got Claire Slafter, Marika Brownlee, and Andrew Pyle. Marika's on the sacks. Pyle's, uh, is it Ghent? Ghent?

The what? Where you are currently, Rhinebeck. The city. Rhinecliff? Yeah, I'm around Rhinebeck. Let's just say Pyle might be an investor in the new Soho farmhouse. Absolutely not. Really?

I jumped to a couple of conclusions there, and you know i was i was more confident than not but it's not a surprise that you aren't uh marika's in the beanie again claire's in a closet marika what are you drinking you know that brand house it's like aperitif house beer no they're not beers they're just like i don't know fruity wine things it's elderflower lemon wow so like kind of a mocktail yeah but there's alcohol so not a mocktail kind of a mocktail is just a cocktail

so it's kind of a mocktail except there's alcohol wait so what's the alcohol is it wine yeah I think it's like a I think they accept there's alcohol wait so what's the alcohol is it wine yeah I think it's like I think they're all malt based right yeah okay so not wine well I don't you want me to pull up a bottle

oh it's a bottle okay sorry I didn't mean they're like little these little bottles oh they're cool looking oh beautiful it's like a liquor yeah wow that's very fancy looking they're called I mean they're called aperitifs they're That's very fancy looking. They're called I mean, they're called aperitifs there. It's very low alcohol, though. Aperitif wine is what it says.

So did you know that shanties? Sorry to hear what you're saying. No, it's all right. I need to hear what you're going to say about shanties. Shanties can be sold to people under the legal drinking age, even though there's like 0.5% alcohol or something. I thought a shandy was like half beer, though. It's beer and spray. I think it's

beer and lemonade. If you go to a shitty pub in the UK, you don't know what's going to go in. You can ask for a specific split so I'll do 80-20 beer to lemonade

and it's kind of an Arnie Palmy awful name anyway there's a canned shandy called Bass Shandy it's from the UK and I just noticed that I bought it before I was 21 and they didn't bat an eye

so um yep they also didn't bat and root so that's what you're basing this off of that you got away with buying alcohol under 21 once you like look older than you are for sure we all know that so i feel like well yeah if that's the barometer i hard whiskey is uh available to anyone under 21 you just need like a card or something some kind of particularly when you stick it in your coat jacket and walk out the front door without paying for it yeah they don't even card you it's crazy um let's go pile claire marika uh highlight and low light of your day we should say that it's december 15th 2020 highlight and lowlight of your day. We should say that it's December 15th, 2020. Highlight and lowlight of my day. Let's see.

You're back, by the way, Pyle. You haven't been on the show. It's been a while. I think since September or October. Whenever you had your son. Yeah, I think it was probably August. Yeah. Yeah.

Crazy. So in order of importance, let's go highlight and lowlight of your day. And then Pyle, just speak to what it means to be a father. I slept in today. so so in order of importance let's go highlight and load a lot of your day and then pile just speak to what it means to be a father uh i slept in today so that is a highlight the baby woke up the baby um woke up at like 6 a.m and then uh i fell back asleep till like 11 it's a work day by the way and i woke up at like 11 and so i felt great so that was a highlight um low light let me think what was a low light today um no no particular low light it was really cold out oh all right we'll see how this hour goes i got my parents my parents this is cute my parents bought me a small willow tree, which we planted for my baby.

That's amazing. And some fucking deer has been gnawing at it. I noticed that today. So that was a low light. And I had to go out there in the cold. It's you approaching a Bambi to go. Hey. Ski you.

Shoot. So I'm hoping that the tree is going to be okay. Yeah. You approaching a Bambi to go? Hey! Ski-yoo! Shoot! So I'm hoping that the tree is going to be okay. Yeah. Low light there. Claire, highlight low light of the day? Mine will just all be based around one event. I've been doing acupuncture for some migraines. And the highlight was that they said I'm doing so well

but the low light was when they're sticking in the needles they kind of like you know they touch part of your body and they're like

does that hurt to know shit about your body that I don't understand and they touch the part that's tied to my liver and I like audibly shrieked so

my liver is not so hot these days but everything else is great um so progress but also you know what are you gonna do sometimes the liver is not is that like your is that was that like in your neck or something like my left the liver line my left ankle interesting yeah and that just made like your liver i don't understand no it in my, like basically like they'll like touch your knee and they'll be like, is this sore? And you'll either say yes or no. And they were doing that for a while.

And then she touched my ankle and I was like, wah! And she was like, okay, very interesting. And I said, what's interesting? Excuse me. And she was like, well, that's your liver. Can't move on from that so yeah sorry how so anyway the worst part is they're trying to make me drink less because you know the liver and i that's no life to lead now yeah that's my lone light especially when you're living alone especially when you're living alone i did uh the first two months of quarantine i was living alone and i did drink a lot i'm not gonna lie

to punctuate the time and also because it's fun so yeah and also because it's fine yeah it's also like it's cheaper you there's like a novelty to being able to drink at home because it's cheaper and you can like make fun things i feel you don't get invited to bars that's the issue here absolutely correct how have you guys been getting your alcohol drizzly instacart i walk to a store and buy it in person if i don't know if that's chill. Canceled. When I was in LA, I would just do Postmates drinks. We have a friend who works at a wine shop, and we just give her... We've done this two or three times where we Venmo her a couple hundred dollars, and she just comes over with two cases of insanely awesome wine. Just weird and bullshit that we would never know to get.

And I don't know what most of it is, and I kind of forget right after i drink it but it's all really good that's cool do you like orange wines uh skin contact wines yes it's the same yeah you didn't one-up me or correct me there are synonyms uh i didn't know that i I learned recently that orange wine is like the opposite of rosé. So it's like rosé is, I think, I'm going to get this backwards probably, but rosé is like red wine where they take out the skins, so it's pink. And orange wine is white wine where they leave in the skins, so it becomes orange, something like that. I think you're exactly right.

Anyway. Would have never known. See? There's a reason to listen to this show. It's all about learning. I'll take that again. Sorry. There's a reason to listen to this show.

I said orange wines and you're like, skin contact wines? Yes, I've had them. That's like being like, do you like IPAs? Ales? Yes. Ales is more general than ipa but i do think that there are wine people who balk at the term orange and prefer skin contacts it's like actually what it is there's also just some people that think it's literally made out of oranges so like marika up until two minutes ago i knew i knew it i knew it but i'm just saying

there are that's definitely what i thought i took a wine tasting class with my mom uh last spring or two springs ago jesus um and we tried orange wine and i was like this doesn't taste like oranges and the person was like yeah it's it's not. I was like, I know. I know now. I was testing you. That was a test. That was a test in your past. Caught.

Marika, highlight, lowlight. Oh, boy. I have a really good, for me, highlight. For the past months and months, I've been trying to buy a PlayStation 5, and I pulled it off today,day after trying on they they released them on Best Buy didn't get the Best Buy ones and then Walmart all of a sudden was like they have some coming in 30 minutes and I I got it and it's it's been haunting me for weeks and weeks I think everyone at the company knows I made a big stink about it, so I'm really happy about that.

When does it arrive? January 9th. Oh. Day after my birthday. Your happiness will be a birthday present for me. Capricorn style. Big Capricorn energy. And a warm gun. Marika,

what's better about the PS5? I might have already asked you this, I think on an offline call but like it looks the same i mean other than other than computing power which obviously is going to be improved like the graphics aren't that much better right pile you might be able to speak to this too as our cto i mean i for me i the only console that I have besides the Switch is an Xbox 360. So it was time for me to buy a new console. And I want to play some PS exclusives like Spider-Man. You skipped a generation.

Yeah, I did. So it's my time. Like trauma. Yeah. And this was traumatic. Interesting. Interesting. interesting interesting pile see from a technological standpoint what are your thoughts on the the ps5 um yeah i guess it looks great i think it what can you do it can do 4k at

60 frames per second i think oh my goodness or uh which is pretty cool you can do hdr it's got faster hard drive stuff it loads games faster which is a big problem now i don't know it does it just does everything better that's like what these consoles do it's a really big honking piece of plastic stuff too i don't know how it's gonna fit in my super ugly looking yeah but it's fine it's good i also just wait for the ps5 slim5 Slim. It likely could be what it's called. Who knows? Did you get the digital edition? Or are you going to be able to play...

I got the disc edition. Because the other really dumb thing, the reason why I got this is because I have a ton of DVDs. I'm always buying DVDs. I just need something to play them on. You're still buying DVDs? Yeah. It's a $500 CD-ROM drive.

It really is um yeah i just bought like three blu-rays in the last month and i was like need something play these on i like buy blu-rays i want to have it's more expensive it's bad for the environment i want physical things you're a hoarder yeah a little bit and uh a pile talk about fatherhood you're on paternity leave for a while i'm back now though yeah in full force a little bit waking up at 11 yeah putting in the full work day 11 to 4 uh is kind of the headroom work speak for yourself that's just what everyone overlaps yeah um right um yeah i mean it's cool it's it's interesting it's like um i mean it's you know it's hard but it's also like hard in different way different than i thought it would be and um also rewarding in ways i didn't realize

it would be and you know just i mean it's great i actually really like it i feel kind of like an asshole saying that because I feel like so many people are having a really hard time right now. And the truth is, like, I think this is actually a really good time to have a kid. So I think I kind of lucked out.

He's also really just a lovely baby anyway. He's like very chill and sleeps well. When do babies start getting personalities? Is it immediate that they have a personality or does it come later on? I would say it's probably not immediate. And I think there's a lot of like, I don't know.

I mean, also I think like parents talking about their own kids is like extremely skewed. Like I think that I didn't care about babies at all and then like I had one and now it's like clearly I think he's like really cute looking and awesome and smart see it's all probably not true i don't care about babies

i hate kids but babies it's like why is that cute they look like an alien i'm the same way well that's why i ask about the when it when does it become something that's like bringing anything to the table interesting Yeah, worth it. Other than like a lack of neck control. When does the return start on investment? I think it's surprising. Part of it happens right away, which I think is purely a biochemical thing. Because if you didn't feel like some sort of weird Jurassic era level part of your brain operating and being like, oh, I have to do something to protect this baby.

Otherwise, you would definitely just like throw them in the river because they are really annoying. They keep you up all the time. They don't give you that much back. And I'm speaking as the father. I'm not even the mom that has to actually like sit there for, you know, eight or ten times a day feeding them, which is like an insane thing. Eight or ten times times i thought it was like once or twice breastfeeding no it's like every three hours sorry i didn't do like research in the breastfeeding file i'm 23 no i didn't know any of this stuff before i had to learn it like

that's that's i think the other weird thing is like i mean i'm a pretty cautious person like i go in i know if i buy an xbox one i'm gonna know all the stats but like you know that's like a small investment whereas a baby will like completely fuck up and change your entire life and you don't know anything about it going into it and vice versa yeah yeah what are the stats what's his name again uh asher no oliver oliver what are the stats on oliver oliver is height uh bmi he is he just passed 10 pounds i know that much i forgot what his last length is but he was he was in like the 25th percentile for length and the sub-zero percentile for weight for a while. And the doctor was like, Oh no, this is like, um, you know, what, is he eating enough?

And I'm like, well, how do you know? And they're like, well, is he, is he pooping? I'm like, this kid shits all the time. That's like all he does. And she's like, all right. So that actually might be contributing. So he's getting enough food and he's like, well, how often do you feed him? We're like, you know, like every three hours, like all the time, this kid only eats and shits. That's like all right so that actually might be contributing so he's getting enough food and he's like how often you feed him we're like you know like every three hours like all the time this kid only eats and shits that's like all he does and she's like blazy unhat like i'm like no

he's the happiest fucking thing on earth like like he's trying to say yeah he's like looking for a problem i'm like i think he just doesn't flip the house what have you done um anyway i'm going on about stuff that no one actually really cares about but i clear i think and i think i was in all of the same boat that you guys were in which is like babies are uh a burden and they don't they don't really feel that rewarding but um yeah i mean the truth yeah i don't know it's like they really do kind of i mean they are really cute to you even though they're probably not cute to anybody else and the small incremental it's crazy to see somebody like all the time every day and like notice small tiny incremental change which is like yeah like he rolled over for the first time yesterday which is like who gives a

but uh for me it like changed my life i was like oh my god now i have to think about where this person is all the time as opposed before you could just like put him in a spot and he stayed there now like my entire world has been rocked um so i don't know it's it's very weird but um you know once you get past the kind of like sleep deprivation part uh it's fun well that's just a tank that you lie awake in at night that's where I keep the baby oh my god

floating sensory where are you right now yeah I mean Claire and Marika do you guys find babies attractive is the wrong word I mean like do you find but like, you know, fuck. Like, do you see them and you're like, oh, that's really cute.

Like, I feel some type of way about it. Like you would feel about a dog or a cat. Like, no, I'm, I'm like, I mean, it seems like we're all kind of around. We're all had the same sort of opinion, but I'm pretty anti baby. I like don't find them cute at all. I feel uncomfortable when people show me photos because I don't know how to react correctly. Yeah, well, that's the thing.

The baby photos are bullshit because you don't even, if they look like little aliens and then there's no, at least moving about, the photos, no, no, no. I think there are two nice things about babies. I mostly don't care about them.

It's cool to see someone who cares so much about a baby or someone you know well being changed or impacted by the baby. I think the adult human as reacting to the baby, that's nice. Yeah, exactly. That is exactly what I mean. Kyle used to beat the shit out of people on the sidewalk, GTA style, and now he's honestly helping a baby roll. Well, I'm just so tired. I don't have the time for that kind of thing anymore.

There you go. I would do it. You'd get in on the passenger side and they would run away screaming and you would take their Pontiac Aztek. Hmm, okay. Yeah. That's not what I meant. Ferris cut that out.

And then the other nice thing about babies, it's nice to watch them, like kind of what Pyle was saying, like change and wonder at things that we adults don't care. Like to really watch like speedy change and absorption of new stuff is rare for all of us jaded people over the age of three or whatever so that's nice yeah it's hard to like find something new yeah exactly especially now other than like drugs well yeah there is that but i've got liver issues so i'm fucked but you know like uh you know seeing a really nice sunset like i went to idle wild once and we were driving up and, like, the sun was setting as we were driving for the weekend. And we, like, we just stopped. And we were like, this is unbelievable. Like, it's about to be nighttime.

Might as well stop at this overlook. And we all just stood there and we were just like, wow. And, like, that was not that I hadn't seen a sunset before. But, you know, you're kind of always chasing those moments, you know? Yeah. You know that thing about how someone describes a sunset and you're like, this is the most boring thing I've ever heard in my life.

It's kind of like when someone describes their baby. Sunsets and babies are the same. You've always said that. You've cracked that. You'll randomly just text me that. No, I think, I think it is like,

I don't, being on the, I guess kind of other side of it or whatever. It's like, you really can't talk about it without sounding like an asshole. Like, and, I mean, and I hate, like, people who are, like, not, like, throwing your face, but they're, like, you wouldn't get it kind of stuff, which is, like, bullshit. But also, like, there's no good way to describe it. You'll understand when you're a parent. Yeah, which is bullshit. Like, I hate that.

That's such a shitty attitude. Also, because it doesn't matter. It's also, like, it doesn't matter. Yeah. Like, you don't have to want to care about babies, I think is maybe what is offensive about them, too. It's like, they can matter to some people and to others. They don't have to matter. Yeah.

Even me, like, I do. I feel like I want to be a don't have to matter yeah even me like i do i feel like i want to be a father and have a family later in life but it's like i can't guarantee that i'll even feel how pile feels with like a changed man looking at the baby it's like let's get him to age nine and then we can start having some conversations about shit no i mean that's pretty much exactly how it was what i was worried about was like, I was not going to care about this. And I think, again, I think it's like pure. I'm not purely, but like, I think it's mainly a biochemical thing. I think like your body is like, your brain is like, oh, now you have to care about this. This is the bloodline.

Yeah. Preserved. Exactly. Yeah. That's exactly what it is. This is Kim. My son. Yeah.

This is Kim. My son. Yeah. And then Marika, when was the last time you felt really excited about somebody that you were potentially dating? Sorry, what?

No, like, you know that game where you have butterflies and you're like, yeah, this person's special. To anyone else. So why me? Are you targeting me? I don't know.

Just like, you know something talking about we've been talking about fucking babies what's on your shirt what's that it's a Cleveland Cavaliers shirt from like the late 80s I think back when they were like light blue orange and white it looked like a playing card and I was like that oh it's a weird vibe old logo yeah yeah right yeah very cool it's one of my favorite shirts it's like oh it's a weird vibe old logo yeah yeah yeah all right yeah very cool it's one of my favorite shirts it's like very it's one of those vintage shirts that like if you sold if you bought it in la it would cost like 85 but i think i got it on etsy for like 16 um and it's like that faded black ish the lettering looks kind of stiff actually on camera

you know what i mean it's actually really it's really soft okay well like it's not that flat like shield feeling that's kind of what it looks like though I'm just saying it's because it's all over but you would love it I'll have to take your word for it this could be like the sisterhood of the traveling shirt let's do that like I send it to pile pile puts it on

Oliver Oliver ruins it and then that's kind of the end of it just pukes and shits all over it. Yeah. Sacks! Sacks! This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, if you had an extra hour in your day,

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But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day. Like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe and their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands.

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Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. And we're back. We do this segment, Pyle and Claire, because neither of you guys have been on for a while. It's called Marika Takes the Reins.

It's basically I give Marika the floor to wax really um but because it's december 15th right um what i wanted to do was just give me a second here i'm floundering i feel like i could maybe tell where this is going he's que queuing something up. He's searching YouTube. He's... Alright, this is... Sorry. To take a YouTube survey. This is a special holiday segment called Marika Takes the Reins, Dear.

So, Marika, you have the floor for the next two minutes anything you'd like to say or not and uh we'll just kind of see where it takes us here we go so that's playing under okay it's holding up a timer i do want to say that every time i've complained about this and it's still a thing that I have to do. So that's fun. Everybody can feel free to chime in, by the way. I just am not the host for these two minutes. Oh boy. I, you know, I should really start preparing for this

because I feel like it just happens to me every time. It's not every time though, which is what makes it even more scary. I feel like all just happens to me every time. It's not every time, though, which is what makes it even more scary. I feel like all that I can really talk about at the moment is TV and movies, because that's all I watch. Although, okay, I have something that I've shared with Pyle, because it's my new favorite thing. But I found out recently that the actor Michael Fassbender of X-Men fame has just decided to race in Le Mans, uh, for some reason.

And is, like, training with Porsche to do this and, like, making this very high-quality YouTube series about it. I highly recommend watching it, uh, because it's very intense and fun. because it's very intense and fun. And he gets really frustrated with himself and paces around shirtless, cursing, and it rules. It's the best. He has anger issues, right? So I bet it makes for good TV. Yeah, it really comes across.

There's a lot of really tense moments. They had to hire an outside driver, and I feel like they don't really get along that well but they're like kind of making it work uh he had like a really bad crash uh recently that really set him back in terms of his like mental uh like state and was like i don't know like he doesn't think he can do it anymore it's it's great well have you guys have you guys been in accidents before? Oh, yeah.

When I was little, I was in an accident, apparently, that I don't remember where our van fully flipped, like, did a 360 flip in the air and landed on the wheels. Whoa. So, was everyone fine?

Yeah. I mean, I don't remember this at all. I was, like, a very small child, but that's what I've been told. Leave it to Marika to, when she's the host for all. I was like a very small child, but that's what I've been told. Leave it to Marika to when she's the host for two minutes, ends the whole segment by saying, I got in a horrible accident. How's that supposed to like lead me in?

I didn't know I had to wrap up for you. No, you're supposed to just rap. So like campfire, everybody's at like summer camp. It's like, let's rap. And then just like talking about our feelings. Here we go. Pyle, when was the last time you told a lie that wasn't just like, oh, you look great? Like, okay.

So like a serious lie? A lie that could or did, could have or did have potential consequences. Could have or did have potential consequences could have or did so man I'm trying to think last mile I got away with something you know you should have named your son Scott free pile like so Scott pile and no one would be no one would be everybody would be none the

Pfizer and then the middle name would end up being free yeah I could have gone that route. And you would have gotten away with it. Ridley Scott's production company. You would have gotten away with it too. If it wasn't for that meddling Kate and that damn dog.

Yeah. That's a Scooby-Doo reference. Yeah, obviously. He didn't get it. I lied about being exposed to covid to get a test faster that's a good one drop sound i i've also done that i said i thought i might have been exposed to like get the just so i could go to cvs to do it yeah i've done that so that that had a consequence because i was heavily infected and i think i probably got the whole cvs so you knew yeah that's almost worse the viral load was like it broke the test actually it ruined it for

everybody of course claire i don't know why you told most recently it's hard because we're not interacting with people exactly but also if you're gonna say if there's something that you don't want shared with the public but share with us Ferris can bleep it out. And then it'll just be our reactions being like, God, like Claire, we're scared of you. No, no. Let's see. I wish that I had a horrifying lie. Am I not lying these days? This is crazy. I feel like I'm pretty comfortable. But I don't know. Well, you're drinking alone, so you're probably lying to yourself about something.

Yeah. Or I'm just like fully committed to who I am as a person. Well, oh, I did lie to the acupuncturist today when she asked me if I had drunk over the weekend. And I said, absolutely not. So that was a lie that had consequences right now i mean what is drunk i think is my question to you anyway that's my last lie it was like two hours ago so yeah i'm still doing lies i'm proud of you thanks marika I mean I also kind of feel similar I either they're all very

like small and inconsequential or I'm just not lying I don't know got it I really can't think of anything again really making us look like the assholes here I mean I'm sure i have i've probably

like i don't know lied in text to a friend about like i can't watch a movie right now because i'm doing something and then i wasn't actually or something like that like those kinds of things i feel that's not really that consequential yeah um. Um, the last lie I told was yes, Billy brick. I would love to join your fantasy basketball league. How's that going? Consequences to that lie. Well,

uh, well, I don't think he listens to this show, but what's going to happen is if he does, he's probably going to text me and say, Hey man, you didn't have to do the fantasy basketball league. Um,

and then I'll know, Hey, thanks for being a supportive friend. You listened to the show. So, like, nothing bad is gonna happen. We get one listener and you get out of it. Yeah. Of course. Welcome to Hot or not coffee edition or as marika would say cafe um this is i thought this actually i think will be a fun game um i'm gonna hit you guys with scenarios and you tell me whether you

this is not a right or wrong thing there's no cash at stake although whoever whoever's answers I like maybe I'll give you like a thousand dollars I'm gonna give you scenarios and you tell me you would rather drink and this is just going off the basis

that in this scenario you're craving a coffee you tell me whether you'll have a hot coffee or not coffee meaning a hot or iced coffee it just rhymes if it's hot or not instead of hot or iced but you can say iced or cold brew or whatever all right here we go right before you go surfing iced interesting where where are you going yeah we need more information is it like uh you're going to i don't want to give away my favorite secret beach but you're going

somewhere in Malibu the nice coffee if you're on the L train at 4 in the morning in the middle of the winter far rock away beach if you're like toting a surfboard I think you get a hot coffee

at that situation and you're in the dry suit that feels like you're like toting a surfboard, I think you get a hot coffee at that situation. And you're in the dry suit. That feels like you're over LA versus New York icing it. Well, how else would you? I mean, anywhere else in the world other than I feel like New York, you would get an iced coffee before you surf. I think the beach is cold in the morning and you go surfing in the morning. It's freezing. Therefore, hot.

I changed my. I agree with Claire. The end. All right. After a with Claire. The end. After a day skiing on the slopes. I mean, you go hot chocolate, but hot coffee, I guess. Or Irish coffee. Sticking with Claire's trend.

This is an intervention. I told you, I'm true to myself. Do you guys do this? Hot chocolate and you spike it with peppermint schnapps? Yeah. That sounds good. I'm with you right now. It's in my little bar cart.

Are you guys a bar cart? Can we see the bar cart? It's a famously audio medium, but Ferris can cut this out if it's not interesting. Proof. Yeah. Oh, Pyle, well, all of you guys will think this is interesting. My buddy Tucker, he got a job working in whiskey distilling at the Traverse City Distillery.

That is interesting. Traverse City, Michigan? Congrats, Tucker. Ferris cut this out. Because I like whiskey. I think we all like whiskey. Yeah. All right.

Next to a warm, crackling fire. Hot. Cold. Again, it's the venue. I think it's so dependent's the venue I think it's I mean it's so dependent on the venue to me you don't

there's you can't have more specifics where are you by a hot fire drinking cold beverages that's not the the vibe for me

like a hotel lobby I'm drinking a nice coffee standing by the fire there we've done that before we've done that exact thing Marika and I and I would get a iced coffee standing by the fire there. We've done that before. We've done that exact thing, Marika and I. And I would get an iced coffee in that situation. At home, hot coffee. I just, I like iced coffee more and I don't like being hot.

So I think that's my, that's the reason behind my choice. I'm going to go hot. Yeah, I'm similar to Marika in that most times I'm going to go hot. Yeah, I'm similar to Marika in that most times I'm going to choose hot, though. In the morning with bae. Any other specifics?

Yeah, so like summer, it's ice coffee. Winter, it's hot coffee. Yeah. I think mornings generally I want to go give no that's what makes it interesting hot yeah i go hot i've been going hot lately i'm truly like 50 50 i want diner sludge with a woman named mudge so her real name is margaret marge is short for that and I misheard her and you're getting the coffee from a

diner going back to your house and getting back in bed with Mudge who sounds like she could have been a waitress at the diner honestly poor Mudge that is a waitress diner name alright

diner waitress diner name. All right. Diner waitress. After an Italian dinner. An espresso. Yeah. Espresso. Yeah. That's what I figured everybody would say, but that one I thought might be interesting because Italian food is so heavy.

So maybe you don't want like a milky, frothy, thick. That's why you said espresso. Yeah, that's why you get the single shot yeah cappuccinos are for the morning I guess I conflated the two are these like trick questions or are you just they do get more specific at the end

I feel like you just said that you order like a glass of milk post Italian meal basically that's disgusting first of all I don't enjoy most Italian food. You don't like Italian food? I'm going to get a lot of hate speech on this. Get a lot of hate speech? I get so much.

That's different than hate. Imagine the hate crimes I'm going to get after this. No, I don't like, I mean, it has to be the like, and it's not because I'm like a snob. It's just that I don't like, I mean, it has to be the like, and it's not cause I'm like a snob. It's just that I don't like most Italian food. So like, it has to be the best of the best for me to like it. Are there specific ingredients that you don't like? I hate red sauce. I hate when meat is, I hate meat sauces.

Um, I like mushroom based and, you know, white and cheese based sauces. Um, and I love pizza obviously, but like,, obviously, but I just don't like most pasta. I hate lasagna so much. Chicken parmesan is like, it makes me feel bad. I don't like the taste because of the red sauce. But I love tiramisu. I love Italian desserts. Wow.

Rainbow cookies. I actually like you less now. This is crazy. What do you enjoy eating other than Italian desserts? I feel like those are all universal things that people like. I love New American. I love sushi, Nashville hot chicken. Honestly, everything other than Italian.

I don't like Greek food that much. I don't love falafel but other than that and Italian food I like everything such a weird you like French food yeah French onion soup you kidding me with that I don't know it's just like it's I don't know

if you're like a foodie I feel like Italian's like a staple it's weird to hate a like John and Vinny's do you not like tomatoes and things that aren't tomato sauce? I like to make. Well, I don't like tomatoes on a sandwich, but like I love I like bruschetta. Bruschetta. How do you say it? Bruschetta.

Whatever your heart's telling you. Yeah. And but yeah, like I like like, you know, there's a lot of like trendy places in L.A. that have good Italian food like John and Vinny's a lot of like trendy places in la that have good italian food like john and vinnie's is great i think alimento is good some people don't like it but i think it's because they don't have a lot of things with red sauce in it and also it's just like the pasta's handmade like i have friends of mine who just will like every night for dinner will boil pasta and eat it like you know with red sauce and that's their dinner and i'm like that's

disgusting to me i'd rather not eat, that's kind of pretty basic. You gotta have some other element. Yeah, but I think it's a product of growing up in like basically for the majority of my life, rural Ohio, where like pasta there is literally that. It's like putting ragu on, yeah, on overcooked noodles and like, you know, either bad meatballs or no meatballs. And I'm like this

is not good to have and i don't feel i feel full afterwards but not sustainably because i'm hungry by the time i go to sleep because there was no protein um that's the same thing with ranch that's the same thing he's so angry right now it's insane i wish this was a video i were recording it but like i hated ranch for the longest time because all I'd ever had was Hidden Valley and then a friend of mine showed me Ranch is supposed to taste.

No it's not. Hidden Valley invented ranch. They did. I've done so much work with Hidden Valley. I know a lot about Hidden Valley.

Let me tell you. This sucks to hear because you know what ranch turned me on to ranch was from Granville Tavern in the Valley. Okay.

Universal statement. This is interesting. Obviously. All right. What kind of, hot or not at an Italian wedding? When? When during the wedding? I guess hot.

Okay. Yeah. I actually would do cold there because, you you know you're trying to like find a partner right what about with an all italian group of friends so these are just italian based questions from this point out somehow you only find yourself out with your frankies with your tommies with your like uh you know salvatores and marty doesn't count uh when i was in italy last wait was this france or italy or little italy because there's a huge difference you ever had a chacarado no what is that it's like uh it's like a iced coffee but they but they use it like a cocktail shaker.

And they put the coffee in there and then cocktail shake it and then pour it out. So there's not really ice in it, but there's ice chips and it's really cold. And it's foamy because the milk is in there too. That sounds amazing. I'm assuming it's Italian, but now that I think about it, I'm not sure that maybe I had it in France. But it's good. I don't know if it's like a universal thing. I think French people don't have interest in coffee, so I think it's Italy.

So yeah, I would have a Chacarado. All right. What about right after your parents tell the kids? What? That they're getting a divorce i honestly think that right after my parents told me they were getting divorced we went to dunkin donuts so uh probably an iced just for tradition one yeah i went to a bar but yeah uh so marika your parents not together i know yeah no i okay so we have three three products of broken family yes and then one honestly poster for a broken family you're in a closet together and still broken. Here we go.

Nobody else answered, by the way. All we got is that weird Chacarata thing. I'll also say iced coffee. Yeah. I would do hot coffee so I could throw it

in one of their faces. Whose fault was it, do you think? Blame them on air. It's probably the kids' fault, to be honest. It was my fault. Yeah. You threw it in your own face. So it's just you staring at the mirror? do you think? Blame them on air. It's probably the kid's fault, to be honest. It was my fault.

You threw it in your own face. It's you staring at the mirror. God damn it, Andrew. Deserved! Have you guys ever done a Chakarado meditation? You basically balance from your root Chakarado to your crown chakarado make sure everything's kind of imbalanced

um imbalanced not imbalanced uh here we go during your first child's birth actually during not after I would it feels like a hot like hospital coffee situation right um yeah the coffee in hospitals was in fact hot okay like hospital coffee situation right um

yeah the coffee in hospitals was in fact hot okay what about during intercourse this is like nine months before that well you don't want to spill it so I guess I would go ice coffee yeah straw straw is good and Ferris you can cut this out if this is too

uh I want to say gauche but that's not the right word too much information I'd love to do a hot coffee because then it's kind of like sensation play you know what I mean Ferris and Ferris while you're editing this just kind of answer out loud

yeah a little bit of danger so it's like you kind of have to balance it while you're doing your thing what about during a deposition yeah I was in a deposition once it was the worst experience of my life and I would never do it again

and I would definitely not drink a coffee during it because I felt like I had to pee the entire time because I was so nervous right yeah because you were lying exactly not drink a coffee during it because I felt like I had to pee the entire time because I was so nervous. Right. Because you were lying. Exactly. Marika? Claire?

I said hot. Hot, sure. What about right after you get the second dose of a vaccine? So you're actually vaccinated. That actually is a good name for a Vampire Weekend album. Actually vaccinated. No no it's not i just don't think it is he's crushed he's absolutely crushed okay uh we have to finish up uh this is actually unbelievable uh thanks for playing hot or not copy edition i'll see you guys again next week

i'm out or not copy edition. I'll see you guys again next week. I'm out. Are you actually leaving? Oh my God. that was a Hidgum Original you you