The Headgum Podcast - 32: Not Occasionally

Episode Date: January 8, 2021

Amir, Marika, and Johnny join Geoff to discuss cold opens, bowling, and The Mask of Fu Manchu (1932).  Plus they play a round of JOHNNY or ASTON!Subscribe to the new Headgum podcast Keeping Records on your favorite podcast app!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. What's the worst piece of clothing that you've owned? Definitely the smoking jacket that I've worn on a couple of podcasts. Danny, I used to smoke pipe tobacco in high school. In high school, sir? You definitely had to have worn a cardigan to hear Rockin' In high school, sir I've been really trying Right?

Oh! January 5th, 2021 HeadGum Podcast Season 2, somehow Arbitrarily Johnny Villa on the show today Amir Shmuel Lumenfeld on the sax. And Marika Brownlee on those

sweet, sweet tunes. Oh, let's get it pod. Oh, hand gum. Let's get it pod. That was much better than I thought it would be. It ended on a high note.

It really did. Oh, that's really good. No cap in all of that, by the way. No cap. Johnny Bell on the show. What's that? First What's Up of the Year. I'm just chiming in casually.

You're just chiming in casually. I'm not. I'm not. I'm chiming in. What I said was right. I love this energy, Johnny, that you're bringing to the show. This intro-ish.

Thanks. I haven't said anything yet up until this point. How is that so funny to you? Let's rein it in. I know truth is comedy, but you laughed too hard for that it was Johnny's facial expression

and also the like flick of the wrist that he did where he Amir is that a blue screen behind you like a green screen but blue yeah just in case you needed to like I don't know if you're recording video if you wanted to do like special effects or whatever behind me I did

yeah you can make yeah you can make it look like an airplane window or something like i'm really small light it correctly it's all about lighting with green screens yeah no yeah for sure i actually had a idea for the podcast i know we usually give like notes and ideas um in between sessions so that we can implement it and have awareness as to what we're doing. But mine is sort of a post-production idea. Sure. Cold Opens.

Okay. Don't say anything yet. So the episode starts with, boom, boom, this is a HeadGum original. And then instead of the sax, it's the funniest point of this podcast 10 15 20 seconds into the sax then it's like okay we're starting with the hottest joke sax good energy at the top and then when you hear it later you're like oh yeah that was the cold open so that's actually

really good yeah one second i'm out of time if you heard a cold open already at the top of this episode, and you're like, wow, that's cool that they did that, know that in a weird fucking time loop situation, Jeff is learning about that whole concept, I think, from me right now. I know what cold opens are. They have it on Houdinki Radio. Really? Yeah.

Okay. So maybe we shouldn't do it. This whole encounter is so sad if we don't do it okay so now we'll do it yeah for sure but like let's not like talk as though we're all trying to get the quote cold open moment even though it could be like a 50 little bonus so to like incentivize the best zingers but let's just have a casual conversation. Whatever comes out as the funniest little snippet could be great. But now there's pressure. Like you feel the pressure.

Everybody else is feeling the pressure to do something really quippy and funny. That could be a cold open. Like what you should have done is if you had this note was weeks ago when Danny said in high school, sir. Yeah, that should have been the first cold. OK, how about if nothing is funny in this episode, we use that as the cold open. And people are sort of confused as to why. If that's what is at the beginning of this episode right now, and people heard that,

they know that it's not going to be a funny episode. So what's to incentivize them to continue listening? It's not that it's not funny. It's just that nothing in this episode, it's a little hat tip to them. It's like, like by the way nothing in this episode is as funny as that moment so that's the default moment and if something they won't know that they'll just be confused right obviously because yeah i think it's like a repeat episode for sure for sure for sure for sure don't say for sure so much in like get the blue out of frame i'm wearing a mozzarella stick shirt.

Secret Santa gift that Marika got me for Xmas. Marika, do you want to tell the story? There's not really a story, but Amir and I switched. We had a white elephant gift exchange and Amir and I ended up with each other's gift, which is pretty cute. Because then it's like we just gave each other gifts and showed up to a different white elephant exchange and just had everybody else what'd you guys get i got johnny's gift actually which was a horrible ed hardy knockoff graphic tee that has that really thick sticky like print all over the chest and torso, but not the sleeves, which makes it worse because then it looks like it's an intentionally,

like, oh, well, we left the sleeves alone. Yeah. You could have switched. I was trying to be a nice guy because months ago we did a HeadGum Happy Hour and I came in late, beat Johnny, actually, in the Rock paper scissors tournament and got like a 200 amazon gift card 100 no it ended up being 200 i don't know marty was

generous that day bad and you spent it on christmas lights is that correct christmas lights and a projector partially projector it didn't cover the whole projector this is for the house that you're rarely in rarely and barely in absolutely yeah yeah um although i did put a deposit down on what on a watch what are you talking about you're rarely in your house so you put a deposit because the watch can go hither and thither with me it doesn't matter what house I'm in you don't want it to depreciate in value I've never seen what is that

so that's like one of how many I think like a year ago from what I can tell no I've been into watches since 8th grade I don't believe you I've worn a watch everyday at work people just don't pay you i've worn a watch every day of work people just don't pay attention to my wrists because they're they're not the thinnest

part of my frail yeah well compared to my ankles if you're gonna have your eye catch one of them in the light it's gonna be the ankles yeah you don't have cankles you have tankles so to walk us through this watch what are we looking at there this is a tudor submariner uh 79190 right i don't know what's that what a boring hobby continue so this was and it might have to be the last submariner made in uh by tudor right so it shares all the why don't don't say right like we know what you're talking about i also don't know what a submariner is that's the most iconic watch of all time right james bond style sure 55 13 55 14 55 17 16 80 16 you're saying numbers these are just numbers to us

talk about specter instead what about skyfall said bond make it interesting to us well now reference bond where's omega and i don't know where that switch was i think it was in the 70s but in the early what's that i just very politely said nice but i guess i regret it eat your watch what's that i can't eat metal i want you to swallow the watch i want you to choke on and maybe die well this is the nicest way to tell somebody to go kill themselves i want you to suck on your swatch wait so is your watch collection is it like uh is it like um almost like when someone collects shoes they don't necessarily wear them like what percentage of the watches you buy are you using

versus just having to as a collection um that's a good question i think with everybody's different like with shoe collectors probably for me i i'm not somebody who likes to have watches that i don't actively wear so like currently i have two seikos that i just never wear and when i get back to la i'm probably going to sell them um but i have yeah i have eight watches and i want to get it down to five because there's also a g-shock that i just haven't worn and want to sell um but i was just telling amir that i want to get into the business of uh flipping vintage watches johnny so um the idea is to set up an llc so that i can't be held responsible um offshore accounts offshore business investors and advisors and i'm making a profit ideally but probably in the red so what's the point on the

wreck so you know that you're not going to make any money off this LLC. I set your expectations low and don't even meet those. That's my family's crest. What's the picture on it? Oh my god. You can and will be fired for making that face. Pull my lip down. It's my family's crest tattooed on my bottom it's running it's like not deep enough you poured ink into your lip let's just dip tobacco yuck johnny do you bowl me bowl yeah not occasionally so often less actually not not occasionally

so often or never never actually so say that don't make us fucking have to guess through the process of elimination just say don't fall hot sex this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, if you had an extra hour in your day, a lot of people would spend that very differently than the one sitting next to them.

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Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. Not occasionally. Not occasionally. You're a Bond villain who doesn't get the job done. So always? Yeah, in a way. In a way in a way

marika you got a ps5 i did how has it arrived it's been great um i was without internet for a number of days so it was kind of my saving grace in terms of uh having something to do in my life for once without an internet. Got the Spider-Man game. You don't have to do that. Your voice is warbly at best. You're derailing the conversation. That's good. I was finally able to play DVDs.

That was big for me. Yeah, it's great. I love it. And you still buy DVDs, right? Yeah, I bought them. I do still buy DVDs. I just bought three I do still buy DVDs I just bought three DVDs one of them was supposed to arrive today I bought Now You See Me 2 on DVD the perfect film and it I don't know where it is

it said it was delivered it's not so I think the four horsemen the magicians in the movie have struck again they've stolen it we're walking WordPress that's the nicest thing anyone's magicians in the movie have struck again they've stolen it we're walking wordpress that's the nicest thing anyone's it's a live i'm a live journal for sure but yeah it's that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me um it's been it's been great i need to buy more games

but i also know that i'll never finish spider-man if i buy more games so i'm gonna finish that first i'm determined is it fun it is fun. I'm determined. Is it fun? It is fun. I'm pretty bad at it, but I do feel like I'm getting better. I'm not good at melee combat games, I would say. So that's been a struggle.

I'm doing a lot of key smashing. Is that the same as button matching? Yeah. Yeah. I should have said that. I'm not on a PC, obviously. You're using a keyboard as a controller for the PS5. Johnny, what's new with you? How was your New Year?

How was everybody's New Year, but specifically Villa? My New Year was great. Celebrated it with the fam. There's nothing really new in my life that's happening. Any partners? You don't have to answer that. You always fish for that. You can't ask that like Johnny particularly

it's very specific and invasive makes us all sort of uneasy by the way what are you rocking beard wise is that a beard a goatee a mustache like how did you arrive at this sort of like three musketeers style facial hair

yeah it looks different I don't think it's that three musketeers style I hair. Yeah, it looks different. Good pull. I don't think it's that Three Musketeers style. I think the lighting is just a little strange. You'd need the sort of like bushier, twistier mustache. I think I could do that though, because these are really long. So that's all even? Is that all even for you?

Or are you trimming the beard and letting like the Fu Manchu grow in longer? We had to watch that movie for film school. Anyway. What movie? The Mask of Fu Manchu grow in longer. We had to watch that movie for film school. Anyway. What movie? The Mask of Fu Manchu. Nobody knew what you were talking about. You referenced it.

That's a reference to the movie. Yeah, because of the movie. Yeah, I didn't know that. Is Goatee also based on a fucking play? Like, I just know what they are. I don't know that. Is goatee also based on a fucking play? Like, I just know what they are. I don't know their origin story. Amir, you probably don't clock this type of shit, but three years ago I tried to grow a beard

when we first started doing videos. Do you remember how bad it looked? No. So back then it, like, stopped here. So it was just mutton chops pirate style and then, like, a three musketeers thing but now it like it comes all the way down now and then these aren't full connectors but yeah it's a little bit of the fu manchu thing coming down to connect so i trim up here because there's

a lot of coverage there like by my sideburns but then i let the rest grow so now it's kind of even but who knows what i'm gonna do and your hair slicked back or what's going on there that's a lot that's gel yeah so i've been gelling well with people who yell about gel nice no the hair is long as shit i have to take my headphones off so i won't be able to hear you guys but it's really long now's the time to talk shit wow yeah wow and then in the back bowl cut i can't really see it but it's long are you planning on getting a cut or are you kind of like growing it out i feel like this is the only time in my life that i can grow it out with people without people being like why yeah because it's too dangerous so i'm gonna grow it out so you're

just gonna see what happens yeah i'm gonna see what happens i at least want to go a full year my last haircut was march 3rd of last year so i at least want to go the full year and then i'll either shave it or keep growing it i feel like it's a good length you haven't even trimmed not even the sides just sideburns i just thin them out wow what about you guys hair plans style plans are you guys do you guys do this i found myself doing this kind of like re-upping wardrobe options at the new year what is re-upping to you like buying like buying new stuff or like yeah for like purging i both a little bit of spring cleaning donating clothes and then maybe getting some new some new stuff some new threads johnny why why to me no just wondering wondering your thoughts I've been

trying to start sewing my own clothes so I go to thrift shops and pick up two pieces that would probably work together I'll cut them up and then just reattach them so I'll have like a Frankenstein version of a hoodie or like a Frankenstein t-shirt

or something like that I feel like that's a thing that's trending right now a Franken a Frankenstein t-shirt or something like that. I feel like that's a thing that's trending right now. A Frankenstein t-shirt. Can we see an example of that? Have you done that yet? Yeah, there is a blue and green hoodie that I pieced together from

this triple XL champion hoodie and a weird green Christmas sweater. Let's see it. I'm curious. Yeah. All right. I'll run out really quickly.

Talk amongst yourselves. He obviously leaves. He leaves to go buy this thing that he found down the street. Johnny's hair is also really long. Yeah. Compared to the summer. I guess I'm not used to seeing what Villa was rocking like a year ago. Because I think that's like roughly when we met so this just feels like normal johnny yeah i could see johnny opened

his door and i could see a car driving off a sky blue it looks like he's in the clouds yeah he's in heaven right now yeah so johnny bought three hoodies and pieced these together using a sewing machine yeah so i am using a sewing machine for this uh i got the letters from an old navy that's really cool so it says yo instead of o from old navy y etc nice oh and you sleeves together so the sleeves of a green hoodie on the body of a blue hoodie yeah and then i had to and then I had to take in the hoodie even further because I'm not a double XL. How do you shrink a hoodie?

I don't even understand how that would be. How do you tailor a sweater? So you just pull it in and then just sew over top of it. I don't know if that makes any sense because I barely understand it as is. So it's almost like a mad fold-in.

You combine the left and right sides and just sew it up. And now there's like a little loop inside or something. Yeah, basically. And then you just cut the excess fabric. That's awesome. Did you do that before or just literally started this year? I started this year because I was following this artist and he makes a lot of music. But then he started getting into like sewing rugs

and clothes and i was like i want to do that i think i could do that so i did it i got really into looking at rug tick tock for like a few days the other week just like people that have these sort of i don't know they're like textile guns where they just fill in rug pieces with a bunch of yarn and it's very like relaxing to look at and now i want to make rugs because they're expensive and i could make a lot of money from them how do you make a rug how do you cut a rug uh yeah i think it's i mean i think you can hand do it where it's like you're sort of weaving the yarn through this sort of meshy material but you can also use a textile gun thing that just kind of shoots it through at a rapid pace and

it's fun to watch wow that seems very time consuming in theory especially if you're doing it by hand for sure but yeah jesus i'm here what about you how's your how's your news um pretty boring stayed in watched a movie god what what did we watch i'm not gonna remember what movie did we watch i know it was good i enjoyed it but now as i come to think about it i don't and it's funny. You were in Times Square. Trying to save face. Decked out in Planet Fitness gear. It was Ex Machina. Good movie.

Oscar Isaac. Is this too personal of a question to talk a little bit about your experience? I mean, you asked Johnny a really personal question very flippantly. So the fact that you're prefacing this with I hope this isn too personal, means there's a 100% chance it's too personal. I don't even want you to ask it. I'm saving you from even asking this question. If it is giving you pause, the man that just flippantly asks people what their net worth is, how many people they've slept with.

Like, yes. How many of you have slept with by the way that's a that's the that's the line of questioning i'm trying to like wean yourself off so yeah whatever you think you're about to ask that might be too personal probably definitely is no i'm it was just it was a pitch for merch for the head gum store oh definitely wasn't no what't what's the pitch I'm wondering and this is just an idea that I've been toying with I've been toying with unintended

that's a sex toy division isn't it we're not gonna fucking make a vibrator for the Hedgum store I'm wondering if we clone Amir's member for the store Amir you drove for the store. Amir, you drove him to this.

So it's like a member of the month club, but instead of being a member. Yeah. So you can literally become a member to people's members. Absolutely. And it's a member to remember sales event of sorts. Yes.

Yes. Nice. Welcome to New Year's Absolutions. So you guys know New Year's Resolutions? This is New Year's absolutions. So there's two ways we can go with this. One, I give you guys like a 15 minute ab exercise that you can do for the every day for all of January. But that's kind of physical and has nothing to do with podcasting.

The one that I prepared for this was, you know, just kind of confessions from all of us. know just kind of confessions from all of us something you want to absolve yourself of guilt of of last year or before so that you can waltz into the new year with a clean conscience and a heavy heart slash hand in marriage let's do the fucking workout yeah i actually need that so that'd be great all right do you guys have anything you want to absolve yourselves of guilt of stuff that i messed up that i'm like asking for forgiveness mercy not even forgiveness just kind of put it out there get it off you on to others the listeners i can start if you guys want to like. I'd love for you to start. One time I hit a tweenager with my car and paid him a hundred bucks to keep the whole thing under wraps.

So, okay. So this doesn't have to be last year only. No, this is like any time up until now. New decade, right? Roaring 20s. How old was the kid? No one asked. A mere kid.

Oh. Yeah, like 11, 11 9 I got it yeah you're the way you scratch your collarbone when you talk about it makes me I think want to leave but I'll stick around because it's like you shouldn't be absolved yeah Johnny yeah absolve

yourself namaste the light within me recognizes the light the divinity within you namaste thank you um i don't have anything i'd want to absolve myself of especially on a public forum like this okay i did steal 30 at my mom's purse first whoa what that's fucked up johnny i invested it into bitcoin and now i'm actually uh this is my ignorance but how did you invest cash from your mother's wallet into bitcoin sorry ignore this so every time why did you guys stop i was trying to come up with the uh with the little mario like one-up coin sound effect for investing yeah we stopped because it was sort of really noticeably distracting i muted myself concentration was broken as well yeah we could hear it johnny go on you took 30 from your mom's

purse invested it right and then right that wasn't it either was it watch live and local news you have to pay for youtube dude that i guess that is the one up no what's the one when you get the little coin i think it's like two notes right yeah that's what i'm looking for here we go yeah no that's not it here we go this is the one there we go okay so here we go let's take it back johnny you used $30 out of your mom's purse what did you say after that i invested it back

into bitcoin amazing totally worth the 95 second detour all that staying in all right uh johnny uh made a martyr of his mother marika i have no sins to repent wow i'm a little angel flawless victory wallace victory that's really cool that was alfred

wallace sort of finding his theory of evolution darwin's cousin wallace darwin came up with evolution first and charles stole it wallace and gromit darwin absolve yourself blue and felled oh me um i don't know i've embezzled a lot that seems unfair yeah like i'll expend stuff that is a personal thing or i'll back in the day had carte blanche access to the bank account and would skim 100 150 bucks a day to the tune of it must have been 50 000 at the time and no one was keeping track so it it felt like I was using it as like a personal ATM. Almost a lot. I was replenishing my, my coffers.

Is it coiffers or coffers? I was, anyway, I was, I was stealing money from the company at a, is it embezzling if you're an owner? Cause I thought that that's just taking an owner's fee. See,

that's what I'm going to argue. So you, there's a hearing day my day in court well that's the thing i've gotten away with it so unless somebody like starts digging into like old old financial records of the company there's i don't see a world where anybody and like marty and jake don't listen to this so i don't i don't see it coming to that jake does listen to this. He listens to this. So let me say something else. I spiked, yeah, I was going to say I spiked my brother's drink when I was 16 or some shit. With alcohol or? Sure, whatever.

I just, I don't want to keep the, I didn't realize Jake listens at all. So I don't want to keep the stealing from him part. Because I also ended up taking more than my fair share from our joint jake and i have another joint checking situation patreon and ad revenue yeah exactly and so i've been pilfering slash taking what i think is rightfully mine just because i'm in charge of it so i'm calling it like an accounting fee so whatever's left in there at the end of the day which is a lot because i'm sort of in charge of distributions over the course of the year it's not funny by the way don't chuckle i'm just saying call that whatever we give it to the amir blumenfeld

non-profit education center or whatever the fuck because it's like a charitable donation it's not sure that's actually against the law that's not just hurting jake's feelings that's against the federal law yeah so i'm yes yeah stealing slash evading my right tax like um liability so to speak in a manner of words just not paying taxes yes and personal taxes as well so does that count how are you how are you evading personal taxes then you just don't pay them i don't pay them or i pay them lightly and i've never been audited so the irs i guess has bigger fish to fry but between all these accounts even that not really legally you just actually implicate yourself you're on record really this is the amir blumenfeld tapes how did you get them uh they're on the podcast that's how we got them do you guys know how kids start lemonade stands i assume so like just kids like six-year-olds eight-year-olds they'll just

like make lemonade in their front yard and like yeah generous passersby will give them a dollar yeah the way you phrased it sounded like a riddle or something. Or like, what is the first step you wanted us to tell you? Just, you're familiar with children's lemonade stands. Well, when I was nine, I started an acupuncture business, but I couldn't afford slash didn't know where to find the needles. And I used wood toothpicks instead. Who let you stab them them so a lot of adults in the area i'm sorry how does this how does this relate back to lemonade by the way well it's like

kids usually just sell lemonade on the street which is like any fucking tom dick or harry could do that but when you had a dick as hairy as mine who i named tom and i was a dom i stuck splinters into middle age divorcees eyes uh bad bad obviously it's such an awful thing obviously don't Don't be surprised. I absolved myself. Don't try and make my conscience feel bad now that the whole point of this segment is for you guys to feel good going into 2021. I feel fine. It's for us, not necessarily you.

I think you telling us these things is only making us think worse of you in a way it's not really absolving like you might feel good after saying things but we feel bad for you for sure and I think it's kind of weighing us down in the end

I mean I'm sorry guys I didn't know that that was now if I'd known that that was what was going to happen I wouldn't have done the segment you wouldn't have changed anything you're such a demon of chaos you probably would have done it even more welcome to our second segment.

Johnny or Aston? Aston. So long. You've got to be fucking kidding me. I didn't know it was this long so it's the name of the game is Johnny or Aston Villa Edition so

I'm gonna hit you with a series of fill in the blanks. And you guys tell me whether it's Aston Villa or Johnny Villa. Aston Villa being a football club. Yeah. An English Premier League. Again, this is for $50 per right answer. $50 owed to me if you get it wrong. All right.

Here we go. When Blank was in seventh grade, he tried out for a baseball team, but needed to play fourth graders because Blank was so bad. Johnny? Correct. $50 to the man in front of a blue screen.

Johnny, is that true? Oh yeah, it is totally true. The coach had to pull, the seventh grade coach had to pull my dad aside. And he was like, hey, I really don't think that he's like right to play with us right now. But we do know a great team that he would be more than happy to play with. So you're 13 on a team of nine-year-olds. Oh, yeah.

And honestly, I was the big dog there. Right, of course. They were asking about how lockers worked. Don't say honestly like it's a surprise. Four years. Some of the most developing years physically. Of course, you were the big dog. You were 40% older than them.

It's like me hanging out with a 78-year-old. He was like, yeah, I'm a lot wiser than you sure blank won three nil against everton fc aston correct fifty dollars to the woman in an orange beanie nice he's gotta be in a meanie this episode so rein it in blank gained 30 pounds their freshman year of college. No way. Johnny. Correct. You've told this story before somewhere, right? You've gained 30 pounds?

You barely weighed 30 pounds. What did you weigh before college? I barely ate anything. I think I skipped so many meals in high school that the 30 pounds in college just made up for all the all the weight i didn't gain in high school it was incredible i ran out of meal swipes so you went from like 90 to 120 or something aren't there built-in meal times in high school uh yeah there are but like i would just chill out in the chorus room because that's where all the uh the theater kids were and i just forgot to pack a lunch every day i also didn't take a lunch in high school.

I skipped lunch to take classes instead so I could graduate early. I'll eat when I'm dead. Smoking a cigarette through your neck hole. You graduated high school? So did I. I just had a protein shake, though. Like, you gotta eat. Yeah, I think I brought, like, snacks to classes and ate surreptitiously when it was like a teacher that i know wouldn't care that's cool all right um blank gains 30

million pounds every year sure sounds like me yeah it's definitely asked correct that's dollars like right British pounds yeah blank was the president of their college acapella group club troop etc me that one are you really yeah I was they called we were called casual harmony

what I didn't say anything you said oh god I didn't think you could hear that. Yeah, obviously your mic is talking close to it. Casual Harmony, is that a pun? No, it's not. I think the non-pun names are even worse than the pun names. I didn't want to say it, but yeah.

This is why I asked. I feel like they're always bad and fun to hear oh totally george saba and i uh used to do duo prov a two-man improv around la under the name geo speed wagon because our names both start with geo but i think we're gonna a we want to keep doing it and b we came up with a new name uh lazy boys so like the chairs but plural nice you should stick with the first one at least okay um all right blank was a huge fan of legos when they were young johnny or nothing sorry this one's triple or nothing johnny Johnny. Wrong. How? How? That's Jack Grealish. Who? Aston Villa's striker.

Yeah. How do you like that? I don't like any of this. Continue. All right. This one is all or nothing. So basically all the cash that's been won so far is going to pool together and go to whoever gets this right or wrong.

And whoever gets it wrong, that cash pools together. And that person owes me that cash. Blank plays in stadiums. Aston Villa. Wrong. Johnny can't get enough of MetLife stadium, right? The fucking, um, the Meadowlands. I was just there. Yeah. Johnny can't get enough of MetLife Stadium. Right?

The fucking... The Meadowlands? I was just there. Yeah. Why? Exactly right. Why were you there? They have a huge mall right by there.

It just opened and it's crowded as hell. It's called the American Dream. So what are you doing there? Are you trying to get COVID? How are you going to crowded malls right now? I kind of observe from a distance, really. They open, it's basically the Mall of America times 10, apparently. They have three theme parks, five mini golf courses inside. It's insane. And it really is unsafe. And I don't recommend it because as soon as I walked in, I wanted to leave. It's called the American Dream

are you kidding me yeah everyone means to save for the future so you're just going to do real and just watch the whole video why was your first move another YouTube video sorry hang on excuse me

I appreciate you guys' patience we have no other option we're not being patient okay you know what yeah this isn't gonna work out um so frozen

alright I don't even say what I wanted to say. I'll tell you guys off air. Do you guys have anything to plug? Social media? Johnny, do you want to hit him with that soc? Yeah, I'll just keep hitting my soc until my projects come back. At Johnny V, J-O-H- j-o-h-n-n-y

v-i-i on instagram hit me hit hit me with a follow over there holy shit you hesitated makes me unsure of whether or not i want to follow you as a listener. Marika? Yeah, I'm Marika Elan, E-L-O-N, on all socials. Your Twitter, your Instagram, your Letterboxd. Amir? Okay, Bloomer on TikTok. Follow me on there.

Trying to plug and chug. Just burn out the content. Let's get viral, people. Killer. And then you can follow me on Twitter at Jeff Boyardee on instagram at jeffrey james why did you change it don't play no james is maybe one of the dumbest handles i could have thought it's good the reason i made a twitter was because for my one of my freshman year film classes we needed to have Twitter for this class because there was a VR thing. I don't even remember. If anybody goes to the USC

film school, please tell me they don't do it anymore. I just needed something and I wanted it to be pun based and there's not a lot of things at the time, I thought, that rhymed with Jeff. Except for Chef. So shout out Billy Brick because he's the one who came up with the handle and I loved it.

We'll see you guys again next week thanks so much for listening to the first episode of the HeadGum podcast of the new year and we'll catch you guys again next week we're recording again this week right I can maybe I think you should I didn't sign up for it I think you should try to find

start trying to find other guests quite frankly I think this is you're asking a lot of them i think so yeah this was i thought a pretty tame episode i yeah i know i don't know what we're doing anymore kidding me this is this one has the most balance of any of them we had a normal conversation for 20 minutes two bits right that's a good balance it's been 45 minutes i'm you're still here which means we did something right that's huge anyway yeah we'll see you guys

again next week thanks for listening what's like a good sign off this is head gum for head gum podcasters this is head gum signing out um Um... laughter That was a Hiddem Original.