The Headgum Podcast - 33: Call Hurdaddy

Episode Date: January 15, 2021

Jake, Micah, and Marika join Geoff to discuss Micah's nightmarishly thin mic, college admissions, and Geoff's actual body count.Subscribe to the new Headgum podcast Keeping Records on your fa...vorite podcast app!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. Oops, sorry. Immediately. Welcome to another edition of the HeadGum Podcast, January 8th, 2021. With us, never before. Low energy with the applause, like nothing. Yeah. It's been a great week, right? Which part? the insurrection the successful mission breaching the capital we got him let's get thin microphone micah's take um on this one yeah we
Starting point is 00:00:59 should say we should say with us as never before is marika brownlee, Jake Hurwitz, and Micah Hurwitz. And Micah texted our Slack thing a couple minutes ago saying, hey, my microphone sounds weird and tinny. And I said, is it connected to GarageBand? And he said, yeah. I said, maybe refresh it. He did. He said, okay, it sounds a little more normal, but still bad. And now as soon as he's joined the Zoom, I was like, got it. It's like a dandelion without all of the things have been blown away.
Starting point is 00:01:29 Wait till you guys hear this in action. It's going to be bad. Because it's actually a little worse than it looks. It's a podium microphone. It's a ball of fuzz on a shoestring. That's what it is. It looks like a Q-tip with a black felt wrapped around the top of it it's bait that is fishing wire attached it looks like you wanted
Starting point is 00:01:53 to be bob barker for halloween and you're like nine and mom did a bad job making the costume that's what it looks like it is the drew Drew Carey microphone. The price is wrong. Yeah, price is right, not whose line. Yeah. These labs. I don't feel like I'm being made fun of because I agree that the microphone is insane. Look, I'm in on it. I think the mic is worse than any of you guys.
Starting point is 00:02:21 Jake, did you just watch the Aston game, the Aston Villa game? You guys. Jake, did you just watch the Aston game? The Aston Villa game? Yeah. Well, I watched it until the champs went up 4-1 and then I kind of tuned out. So your boy Grealish is out. He's not going to win the FA Cup.
Starting point is 00:02:36 No, no, no. The team's been knocked out from the FA Cup though. So sorry to say. Yeah. cup though so sorry to say yeah agreed the problem with the sound effects is like they cut out for us so there's a one second of us trying to figure out what it is and then there's silence are you serious maybe it comes back yeah the other problem with the sound effects is that often as they're coming in jeff is saying oops sorry which also cuts out the sound even more really i didn't know that you guys yeah i don't want to
Starting point is 00:03:17 put it all on you but that's something that would have been really fucking helpful to know months i feel like i bring it up constantly but i don't think it's just me also we just figured out marika's input volume has been lower than it should well it looked like marika was about to defend it and then she like put her hand out like oh hand out like well and just gave up the news jake also looked like he was going to say something no i i was pointed out to me that um i was being talked over for the last so many episodes and i was like yeah i'm aware uh but i guess it was the fault of my microphone well you know what it was
Starting point is 00:04:02 i would say i i think it was other there were other factors at play maybe the edit we marika you and i just recorded on tuesday and i edited the next day so i had a much more vivid memory of what was said and what i heard and so as i'm editing it i'm like i don't remember marika saying this and so and, it might be that Amir and I yell a lot, but also it's like, I didn't hear you say that. And then the mix sounds different to have. And now your input volume's at 90 and it sounds great. But it's partially on Zoom too, right?
Starting point is 00:04:35 Because I feel like Zoom hears people talking and then they mute other people's mics for- Yeah, definitely. Like the people that are responding. You gotta turn on original sound. Oh. Stop that from happening. Little Zoom tips for everyone listening. How You gotta turn on original sound to stop that from happening. Little Zoom tips for everyone listening. How do I turn on original sound? Fuck that shit. Micah, you look like you just got rejected from your dream
Starting point is 00:04:52 college. You had a facial expression like, what am I gonna do now? Harvard hoodie is slowly descending on his face. I already wore it to school. Hiding in it. That would be a fun head gum sketch.
Starting point is 00:05:08 Sorry. Go ahead. What's the fun head gum sketch? It'd be a fun head gum sketch to do with Finn is like, you know, those videos where it's like a family is huddled around like a, you know, the,
Starting point is 00:05:20 the college acceptance thing. And it's usually like a family where it's like, maybe it's the first generation that would be going to college and they get into Harvard and then it goes viral. So it'd be Finn and, you know, everybody at the office huddled around his acceptance thing or his whatever from like Princeton.
Starting point is 00:05:37 And he just like gets, or for the joke, it would have to be, I guess, something way easier to get into. Just like a fine college. Ryerson. Yeah. Ryerson. it would have to be i guess something way easier to get like a fine college right yeah it's his dream college
Starting point is 00:05:50 is lewis and clark school on rye and he opens it in front of all of us and he doesn't get in a millionaire tween he's like devastated and all of us are like consoling him and then amir maybe is just like i mean he didn't have to go right yeah and also come on why did you open such a thin letter in front of us you should have known you should have known better i remember applying to college and just like the the responses that i got and you could at a certain point it was just like i don't want to open these anymore they're all thin they're all small i've been rejected from everything yeah you get the packet you know i feel like my acceptance letters were online is was that a thing yeah for me yeah mine was aged out
Starting point is 00:06:38 oh i guess not and i i'm the last person that went to college of the four of us i want to send you i want to show you guys the photo of me actually i'm the last person that went to college of the four of us. Wow. I want to show you guys the photo of me. Actually, I'm the last person that went to college of the four of us because I actually haven't completed my education, which technically means I am still a second semester sophomore. At Swarthmore. I'm a sophomore at Swarthmore. what are you sending Jeff? I'm gonna cut all this dead air out I'm gonna show you guys the fucking
Starting point is 00:07:17 photo really for lack of a better term of me having got accepted to USC this is the day you're, you're sending us a photo of like when you, the moment you found out you got in, he's going to be pouting. Well,
Starting point is 00:07:31 it's an interesting story is all. Here we go. How do you have to hit this angle to send a file? It's putting in a floppy disk under the desk. It looks like you dropped something under your computer. I had it printed out the whole time. Oh, you made it. I see.
Starting point is 00:07:51 Oh my god. Jeff took a photo with the mailman. Just a photo op with your local courier. Like he was the one accepting you into the car. Like he's the dean. Also, the mail yeah like he's the dean also the mailman
Starting point is 00:08:07 kind of looks like tim baltz in a way god and jeff you look how old are you i mean you were a child you were what 16 here 15 yeah six 17 17 yeah i thought you went to college oh maybe you just graduated early i thought you went to college as like a sick i thought you graduated high school as a 16 year old graduated high school as a 17 year old and then turned 18 my first year of college oh i went to college earlier than you then that's crazy yeah that was this was a packet this was thick as shit also i've done a bunch of research because i couldn't get the thought out of my head um and i knew yeah if you don't get in it's a thin white envelope if you get in it's a thick yellow packet and so i specified yellow yeah gold because you won mobbed the guy this is not my street by the way that's not even your acceptance letter i didn't get i didn't get in um and i was
Starting point is 00:09:03 like hey this might be illegal, but my name is Jeffrey James. My address is blank. It's a street over. Is there a thick yellow packet? And I saw it as I was saying that. And I was like, that's a real story. This is real, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:18 So anytime you approach somebody and you say, hey, this might be illegal, but how were you not instantly maced why did he not drive away were you expecting the package or did you okay micah had a question but then jeffrey changed his background to a hazy ipa oreo background for anyone no explaining that was i expecting it because it's like a weird thing to go ask a mailman for your mail out of turn you might as well wait an extra hour okay so the it's so much more complicated and it's not going to be interesting i'll say it as fast as i can i knew that they were going to get to ohio at that point because they basically like the usps tracking map they all get sent out on the same day so i knew that it was
Starting point is 00:10:02 coming that day historically and then um and again i was obsessed the and then the reason why i was tracking it down was because we i had given them uh my parents a new address because i thought we would have moved that by then but we hadn't moved yet and so it wasn't just like gonna come to where i was living it was going to a new address um which was just a miscalculation on my part, common app wise. So I drove, I was just following the USPS truck that whole day. You know, that actually is, it's kind of an interesting and charming story, more so than you set it up. I feel like I feel like usually you downplay things and I hate what
Starting point is 00:10:40 you say. And then when you say this is going to be bad, it was fine. Okay. Well, if you like that story, let me regale you with this little tale. This one's going to be bad. There was actually a time in college, right? I was not of legal drinking age, Micah. So trying to earn some brownie points there. Cool points. And I got kicked out of the standard in downtown Los Angeles, like pulled by the bouncer. Really? No, I didn't get in.
Starting point is 00:11:06 Wait, so, sorry. But it's a better story if I got pulled out by a bouncer. That's cool. You just walked up and they said, no, you can't go in. And you turned around. I bribed a councilwoman. Have you ever been kicked out of a club or a club for that matter? You're asking me?
Starting point is 00:11:25 He was asking you. I guess I'm asking the table, but sure, I'll let Micah answer first, though I think I know. I got kicked out, but it was because of something a friend did. I've been kicked out at least twice. Oh, three times that I can think of off the top of my head. Where was the worst one? The worst one, what made me think of this, was I think it was the standard in New York City. I was in the boom boom room and I was like a sex dungeon.
Starting point is 00:11:53 Like people have sex in there. No. Well, maybe the cool thing about the boom boom room is that the bathroom is the coolest place in the world. I think to take a shit. the coolest place in the world i think to take a shit it's like it is floor to ceiling windows looking out at like the new york city skyline and you just sit down and you're staring out at it that is fucking crazy um and i was getting kicked out in a really peaceful like normal manner um and then i said to the to the guy kicking me out because like i was getting kicked out because of like something that was happening with me and somebody else.
Starting point is 00:12:26 And I was like, you should kick him out. And then that was like, for some reason, even though like I had to, I was like, yeah, I'm going to go, you're right. And I was walking, I was like, you should kick him out. He like grabbed me by the neck and dragged me into the elevator. So like when you're getting kicked out.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Wait, so what instigated it was that you said that or as you were being kicked out he said i was being kicked out something different had instigated it you shit on the window the floor to ceiling and the boom boom the thing that instigated really was the other guy yeah you made the boom boom in the boom boom room yeah yeah that's right the number two at the two tomb room jeff have you been kicked out somewhere? I don't think I have. Yeah, I've just been not let in places when I was trying to get into bars underage. Did you get your ID taken away?
Starting point is 00:13:12 Every time. Of course I got my ID taken away. Getting me? Bribed the bouncer. Took the cash. Went inside to get the ID. He didn't. And Marika, I already know the answer.
Starting point is 00:13:24 You've never been kicked out of any place correct dragged by your hair out of a broadway theater count us as tickets she tried to smooch daniel fucking uh ratliff at equus um which is the show where he's famously naked, of course. He fucks a horse. That's what he does. No, I've never. I was trying to think I've been like kicked out in terms of like the bar is closing.
Starting point is 00:13:58 You have to leave type of, but I couldn't even think of one of those. You stayed till last call. That's like fucking every single weekend for the last decade. I definitely have i've stayed until last call at like a supper club for like a broadway related show it's like a library for trying to stay too long once i have been kicked out of the light or i have like stayed until i was called the library definitely um the bouncer bounces you from the library no i mean i i have broken rules i i was trying to also think of times when i because my entirety my entire time in college i was under drinking age so i like couldn't go to the local bars with people um and there was like one that was around my house that like never carded and i tried to
Starting point is 00:14:43 go in and of course it was the one day that they did cards and I couldn't go in the pub we had we had a thing called the pub that was like um the basement of one of our buildings that was also a bar and they did weekly trivia and I so desperately like my dream in college was to be on a pub trivia team. I wanted my friends to be that group of friends. And I could never go in because that was also one of the places that carded. And they never let me in just to play pub trivia. I tried to be like, can I just please play? I won't drink, I promise. And they wouldn't let me.
Starting point is 00:15:21 They didn't believe you. They didn't know. People probably say that all the time and then don't do the trivia. Get drunk and derail't let me. They didn't believe you. They didn't know. People probably say that all the time and then don't do the trivia. Get drunk and derail it. Yeah. Micah, what about you? Have you ever...
Starting point is 00:15:32 I don't know. Let's get juicy. Have you ever had a crush? Have I ever had a crush? Yeah. Sure, yeah. All right. Crutch?
Starting point is 00:15:44 Have you ever had a crutch? Of vice? I don't know. Alright. Let me check my email for a second. What? Alright, here we go. Marika takes the reins.
Starting point is 00:16:06 Two minutes on the clock. Marika, you're now the host. Okay. Great. I truly was, like, going to prepare for this the next time that it happened, and I forgot to. Well, now I don't make it every time, so it's like I have to keep you on your toes.
Starting point is 00:16:27 You definitely tricked me. We didn't do it on Tuesday. Yeah. TV shows. No, you can't do TV shows. You always do TV shows. That's all I have for myself. I've got answers, too.
Starting point is 00:16:43 You just watched The Great. Oh, my God. The Great is so good I love The Great I just finished Dark have you guys checked that one out it is a German time travel drama thriller type
Starting point is 00:17:01 show on Netflix three seasons it's really fucking good I also watched love life with anna kendrick i don't know why but i was quite charmed by it um you liked that i did yeah i did like michael what's the take i did like it i thought it was sweet wait what is this segment i don't know what happening, and I don't want to interrupt anything. No, you can speak, and please do, because what essentially is happening is
Starting point is 00:17:30 Jeff has given me the reins of the show, which means now I have to host, but it's so badly hosted to begin with that I can't find out how to match that. Is there always a theme? No, I just needed something to talk about, so I chose TV, my one thing that I only think about. This podcast is rarely always anything, you know?
Starting point is 00:17:53 Like, there's not the consistency aspect. And that's what people love about it. Yeah, it's a variety show. Yeah, it is a variety show. Panel show of sorts. You know what they say? Variety is the spice of rice. They don't say that.
Starting point is 00:18:09 They don't say that. Sacks! Wait! I'm still talking about television! Me every week. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, if you had an extra hour in your day, a lot of people would spend that very differently than the one sitting next to them.
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Starting point is 00:21:34 And we're back. What a lazy way to come back while people are applauding you. Can you imagine like hearing applause and being nonchalant? Like people clapping happy for you. Hey, like, come on. Jake, you've recently gone on to wine, you've been saying. Yeah. You've been whining about wine.
Starting point is 00:21:54 I've been, no, I've been just. You've been pining for wine. Yeah. I often pine for wine. I'm in Jake's office, the dungeon, and I was reading through your little notepad. I'd appreciate if you didn't,
Starting point is 00:22:12 honestly. A lot of personal stuff in there, if I'm being honest. It was pretty much already open. It was already open, yeah. I just looked at the front page and I saw that you had started this list. Did he get green tea and oatmeal?
Starting point is 00:22:29 And then, yeah, just bullet points. Green tea, oatmeal, a third empty. I don't know why I wrote my name at the top of it. It is Jake Cullen. Who writes their name at the top of a list? Of a to-do? Jake Cullen, next line, dash green tea, dash, and dash the next line dash oatmeal. And then the line below that another dash. And I couldn't think of a third thing to get at the store.
Starting point is 00:22:55 I think I remember what that is from. And it's like in 2008 or 2009, I read some article online that was like 10 healthy habits that you can like start doing now. And one of them was drinking green tea and the other one was eating oatmeal. And I was like. That's a note from 2008? Yeah, 2008 or 2009. Yeah. That's insane.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Relic from the past. And you know what? I actually, it took me a decade, but I like oatmeal a lot now. So pretty cool. So it's me a decade, but I like oatmeal a lot now. So pretty cool. So it's like a message to Jake in 2021 from Jake in 2008. A time capsule. Yeah. Very dark, as it were, actually.
Starting point is 00:23:37 In what way? Exactly. The German time travel show where they talk about, yeah, well, there's a lot of like visiting your past self. It's like, I'm actually your dad. I'm your grandfather. This is my mother, et cetera, et cetera. It's hard to explain, but incredible. It's hard to explain, but incredible.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Obviously, it's hard to explain. Yeah, I see like that cut out for two seconds welcome to tailor-made um all right no reaction there you go um all right this is a game all right there are yes and no answers uh again this is gonna be a thousand dollars cash per for to the winner wow i can't afford that it's gonna be ten dollars per right answer venmo to you guys non-returnable you shouldn't afford any of the paying all right whatever it's fine i don't care what you do this is uh this is a game show where i basically give a piece of media and you guys attribute it to which taylor made it okay
Starting point is 00:24:56 okay here we go bad blood swift correct ten dollars i knew it was gonna start with swift Bad Blood. Swift. Correct. $10. I knew it was going to start with Swift. Me too, and I froze for some reason. I was expecting like ever more, and then I just lost it. I also, I don't think I know another Taylor, to be honest. So if the next one isn't also Swift, I'm kind of fucked. All right. Next piece of media um really phoning
Starting point is 00:25:26 it in on this episode aren't we i'm i am um the adventures of shark boy and lava girl lotner correct damn this has been what no wonder you said you were phoning it in i didn't fully understand until yeah it was only two questions it only had a $20 budget thank you for understanding Micah
Starting point is 00:25:54 I'm going to Venmo you guys can I get $10 too? it feels weird to have two people win you didn't answer either of them all or nothing I think yeah let's do a double or nothing for the last one who says uh Tim the tool man Taylor
Starting point is 00:26:09 so I think he's Tom the tool man Taylor no it's not your aunt you get an A for that the game is over and I only had $20 I've sunk all my assets into starting a small business awesome is this the watch
Starting point is 00:26:26 you're so defensive you're so mad people ask you an earnest question about what's your business and you turn on them you snap and it's earnest and we know that you're lying but we're still being nice to you no I'm starting
Starting point is 00:26:42 an online vintage watch store yeah but we're still being nice to you. No, I'm starting an online vintage watch store. Really? Yeah. Yeah. So like just today, I put in a lowball offer on an Omega Constellation. Market value between $1,500 and $2,000,
Starting point is 00:26:58 and I bought it for $750. Wow. And what do you do now? I thought you said you have a store. What's that? You're mad again. Are you going to put this for sale in your vintage shop? That's, you know what?
Starting point is 00:27:08 That's actually better. That's better than what my model was going to be, which was going to be kind of door-to-door calling B2B style. It's not the time. Going back to Omega saying, hey, there has to be something we can do. You sold this at retail in 1977 and now you might are you trying to refurbish these things or just flip them like are you just gonna get this watch in the door out the door selling it at a different website with like a better listing or are you gonna be like
Starting point is 00:27:37 this needs a new gear or something yeah i'm i'm the the goal is to make it a one-stop mom-and-pop shop where people can go to... I'm not going to give the URL yet because it's not ready, but... Give it to us and bleep it. ....com. Nice. Yeah. I was going to make it China and Sons,
Starting point is 00:28:00 but... So that's cheese and fine and Sons. But some of these watches, I'm trying to make a lot of money off of and so it's like no one's gonna spend dollars can't be a full day and sons yeah um anyway uh yeah the idea is to get them served professionally serviced and professionally appraised um for as high quality as possible where but but you know not super expensive on my end as well uh so the idea is that in four weeks let's say people should be able to go to that url that we bleeped and uh buy a vintage watch anywhere from 250 dollars i think you should i think you should name it china and sons but in order to do that you'd have to change like on your about page you just make your name
Starting point is 00:28:45 jeffrey quote-unquote chine james oh that's and then that gives it some legitimacy and you have to explain it yeah i wasn't gonna explain it either way but i already got the domain dot com weren't you gonna start a start a tie dye business last year? I can't think of two more disparate items to sell than a twelve thousand dollar watch and a tie dye Grateful Dead T-shirt. I made this beefy tea purple and blue. And here's an Omega that costs nine G's. Why not both yeah I guess why not both is a lesson that Chine taught his sons
Starting point is 00:29:29 well I the thing that inspired me though was you know I I I I blood spurting from your neck. This is the first question in an interview piece.
Starting point is 00:29:52 No, it's like, you have your money in your savings account, right? And it just sits there. So what do people tell you to do? They tell you to invest it, right? Put it in stocks and bonds or a money market account, betterment, whatever. The return's like only 3% to 5%, percent right i can double my money with this yeah and what does tom cruise tell you to invest in invest in yourself invest what does ted cruz say to invest he says uh storm the capital take the presidency back right and then still vote against it yeah
Starting point is 00:30:21 he's a bad man no but i i read, and listen to shit about watches every day. So I might as well just like have fun with it and like, you know, try and double my money. I support this. To buy a house. I support it. I really do support it. A worthy endeavor. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:39 It's tough because you're always doing a bit. And when you do something for real, I don't know what to say. I appreciate what you're doing. And I think it's great. Even you, like, then picking up a bottle of Fiji water and taking a swig felt like it was a bit. Yeah. Like something was wrong with that picture. You need to undercut it with, like, this thing that I care about, actually.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I don't give a shit at all head in hands so long Head in hands. So long. Welcome to Call Her Daddy. call Her Daddy. So, Micah's name in the Slack, I think for like a day or two, was
Starting point is 00:31:50 Her Daddy. Or no, you signed up for this on the sign-up genius Micah Her Daddy. Yeah, that's right. So, I thought, and I was sort of toying with this all afternoon, there has to be some kind of marriage between Micah Her Daddy and, and call her daddy.
Starting point is 00:32:08 Right? I didn't even make the connection, and I love it. Okay. This is the segment that I referenced in the Slack earlier where I said, Micah, I wrote a segment for you. I said, I can't wait. Yeah. Marika, Jake, feel free to give commentary. You can sort of advise him. So, Micah, feel free to give commentary you can sort of advise him
Starting point is 00:32:26 so Micah, feel free to phone a friend but only you can answer these questions Micah is it ethical to watch free porn? and I can talk you can talk it out you can kind of like conference if you want. What do you guys think, Jake and Rick?
Starting point is 00:32:51 I'm going to throw this to you, Jake, as you are one of our big sex players. As one of your co-workers. As my famous covert. I was going to say something about girls on porn and you started that. I think it is ethical to girl on porn. And you started that. I think it is. I think it is ethical to watch free porn. I will say that some adult performers actually have like free only fans that will entice you to subscribe and then support their. Don't do that.
Starting point is 00:33:21 Yeah, don't do that. I think that I think that you can get can get in the door on free porn. There's a lot of like free advertising, you know, like free. You can stream eight minutes of this thing. But if you want to unlock the whole video, if you want to see the entire thing, et cetera, et cetera. If you want to see my back catalog, then you can then you can kind of start you know paying for the porns but i think that free porn is okay i also if we're just talking about porn i think we got to support small businesses when it comes to porn no more subscribing to the browsers the bang bros yeah
Starting point is 00:33:55 none of that shit you gotta go to your community your local porn vendors uh directly to the artist i thought you meant only fans and the other no no only yeah only fans and then also like the brick and mortar brick and mortar truck stuff like smut magazines and stuff right uh yeah only fans many vids and then also just your local um your local pornographer please what about this so you you post a video like an amateur thing for your you're and your partner's only fans right and then you say hey if you want to see our bareback catalog subscribe it onlyfans.com forward slash micah her daddy micah her daddy or china and sons it's a subscription you can get a belova a tie-dye
Starting point is 00:34:39 fucking raglan and then also see me fuck okay why not i used a clone of pussy to make my a mold of my asshole uh jeff light sorry all right micah uh does what happens in vegas actually stay in Vegas? I don't... Does it? Does it, actually? Are you just going to repeat the questions that Jeff says and have me and Marie answer them? Maybe. Does what happened in Vegas stay in Vegas?
Starting point is 00:35:18 I just want to make sure I got it correctly. Does what happens in stay in Vegas? Yeah. I feel like it's definitely something people say but it doesn't always stay in vegas sometimes things come back with you especially if it's like a painful secret or something yeah then that like that's emotionally taxing so you cheated on someone what i imagine what i imagine that what happens in vegas stays in vegas like no one actually expects the secrets to be kept in vegas but what it is is a permission structure it's a saying that lets you do whatever you want when you're there like you know what happens in vegas baby this is
Starting point is 00:36:01 yeah this is me telling jill why I have genital herpes. And why now she does. But you're like, what happens if Vegas stays in Vegas? No regrets. Yeah. But then it happens and you do have regrets. And that stays with you. But maybe that's even part of what happens. Have you been to Vegas? I've been to Vegas.
Starting point is 00:36:22 And did anything that happened there stay there? I mean, yes, something stayed. I mean, something's left with me. What did you do? Nothing that bad. It sounds worse. Was I there? I feel like I had no. I just had like a
Starting point is 00:36:37 Can you say it and I swear to God I'll bleep it out. It was just like a Oh. god i'll bleep it out it was just like a oh i thought it was like way worse so it did not it absolutely didn't stay it haunts you yeah it's i mean it i live with it every single day i'm gonna bleep everything until and i live with it every single day. He's spiraling. I'm going to leave everything until, and I live with it every single day.
Starting point is 00:37:14 We should get a couple screams from me and Marika just to pepper it out. You can honestly leave it all in if you want. All right. Who in the office, the Hedgum office, both West Coast and East Coast, do you guys think has BDE? What is that? Big Dick Energy. Yeah. and east coast do you guys have think has bde what is that big dick energy because i think it's claire because we're not talking about any body parts i'm talking about who carries themselves with the confidence the vibe of a of a for lack of better term it's got to be d
Starting point is 00:37:47 delicious d it's definitely d big d energy big delilah energy it's a good answer what about it it's you wouldn't say that it's like me um you have like you see a micro mic is microphone you have thin like your your energy looks like your penis would look exactly like micro's microphone including the coloration of it the what about the bright white yes the texture yes that's your dick that's your penis yes that's your raw i was gonna say you have um you have thin ankle energy ankle energy yeah t-a-e thankless all right um all right again micah heard this is micah her daddy call her daddy uh god i shouldn't have written these questions down um how many people do you think i've slept with? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:50 I can't believe you said you made a mold of your asshole and now you're feeling shame. Now. You're just starting now. Over under 10. I think a little over. A little? Like, come on, man. I would think, yeah, below 20, more than 10 10 you're like a relationship guy aren't you uh yeah that's the thing is i'm 23 and i was in a three-year-long relationship yeah
Starting point is 00:39:12 i still think it's more than sexually active years i guess fuck is that supposed to mean i don't know man you're asking me to talk about trying to infer alright music wait this is one no no no no this was a question where there's actually a right answer I feel like the other ones were kind of just like I'm not going to give this answer there's just opinion questions I'll give this out but Micah was exactly
Starting point is 00:39:38 right it might be more than that depending on your definition of sex but penetrative sex. Cut out everything except, cut out just the number. So leave Michael is exactly right. Yeah, I want to do that. All right.
Starting point is 00:39:56 What's the hottest thing a person can wear in everyday life? So I'll open this one up to the floor. I know that some people like a man and a Henley. I can't get enough of a woman in a fucking overalls, right? I think flannels. Okay. For,
Starting point is 00:40:18 for guys and girls. Especially girls. Yeah. Guys too, but especially girls. Yeah. I think a lady in a gray hoodie has always turned me on and i don't know why interesting yeah and micah is wearing a gray hoodie it doesn't
Starting point is 00:40:34 i mean it doesn't we're related so it's like so far from working i hate that face you've actually ruined it on women for me. This is actually at Brownlee's Druthers. If you had your druthers, what would your partner wear? Can I just guess before you say, Marika, too, that I think it's James McAvoy as the Beast. The yellow parachute pants, no shirt. He didn't play the beast.
Starting point is 00:41:10 What is the thing that he played in the glass? Professor X. Yeah. No, wait. What about the Bruce Willis one? Oh. The M. Night Shyamalan. Yeah. He's not the beast in that?
Starting point is 00:41:17 Oh, I don't know. I haven't seen that one. He calls himself the beast. I was thinking of Nicholas Holt as Hank McCoy in the X-Men movies. Ooh. Ooh. Naturally. And what does he wear? I mean, I think they all have their little, like, they also wear yellow outfits, which is why I was especially confused.
Starting point is 00:41:35 But theirs are like a full jumpsuit. Yeah. No. Okay. Yeah. I have a lot of thoughts on the matter. One of them, I feel like any, any long sleeve shirt where the forearm is out. So that's not really a wearing thing, but forearms.
Starting point is 00:41:54 A rolled shirt. Yeah. A rolled shirt. Why do I keep saying short? A rolled shirt, like a pushed up sleeve. Yeah. Let's get to work, America. Because it can be a fancy collared situation or it can be like a little sweatshirt. But the forearms are popping and that's what matters in the end. Well, you're a big Gyllenhaal guy, right?
Starting point is 00:42:20 I do. I do like Gyllenhaal. He always does that. I believe it. It seems like the type really this in quarantine I've really been into the the single airpod in and a chain wait like unrelated like just a necklace so a chain I've seen multiple I've seen multiple just a necklace so a chain I've seen multiple I've seen multiple men on zoom wear one airpod in in one ear and then also be wearing it like a gold chain this perfectly now it's like I've
Starting point is 00:42:54 seen Oscar Isaac do I've seen Jake Gyllenhaal do it yeah it's a it's been a thing Gyllenhaal did it on that Broadway thing right the song time song time. Interesting. One AirPod looks unprofessional to me. You're doing it right now. I agree, but that's part of it, right? It's gotta be. Like, they don't care. I don't give a fuck. Like, I don't need to hear you that well. They don't care what their sound is like. They're singing,
Starting point is 00:43:18 they're doing, like, a full song, and it's only picking up on one microphone, and that's fine with them. Like, I don't know. Is that because they need to hear themselves? Well, I guess I can hear myself. Never mind. Yeah. I don't understand. It's just fucking hot. That's
Starting point is 00:43:34 all. Yeah, I think those are the top two that I'm thinking about at the moment. Micah, music during, for lack of a better term, fornication? For lack of a better term.
Starting point is 00:43:57 For lack of a better question, you asked that. all right this is our last segment it's short don't worry marika um uh everyone go down the line and say your current hottest take we've done this on the show before but it's a new day it's a new dawn it's a new it's a new day it's a new dawn it's a new life for reeves and i'm feeling reeves i'm feeling reeves um yeah hot take down the line marika let's start with you oh god this actually could be a brown these druthers i mean on this segment could be a Brownlee's brothers when Marika talks. Me being able to share my own opinions for one is what qualifies. Oh, I do have a hot take.
Starting point is 00:45:19 I recently watched the movie 17 again starring Zac Efron. And I think that he should be foisted up in Hollywood as a modern day Gene Kelly of sorts. Interesting. He's a song and dance man. He loves to dance. He does a good job at singing. And I think he's a great actor. I agree. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:45:44 What is happening? Micah? Hottest take? I don't have anything coming to mind right now. You're tepid at best. Jake, why don't you go first? Maybe that'll inspire me. I have a hot take that I'm cold on now,
Starting point is 00:46:06 but it was a really conflicting feeling for a moment. So during the insurrection, as you guys all saw on the news, you know, I'm angry, I'm upset. I'm having a bad time. They delay the vote.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Everybody knows what happens, but they come back in and McConnell and Mike Pence like made speeches about like not being bossed around. And I was so conflicted because I like read a Mike Pence quote where he's like, this is still the people's house. And I was like, hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:46:39 For like, for two seconds, my brain broke and I liked Mike Pence. I'm back to normal now. I think he's bad, for two seconds, my brain broke and I liked Mike Pence. I'm back to normal now. I think he's bad. But that was, that was a weird feeling. Wild. I'm Jake Hurwitz and I agree with Mike Pence.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I'm Jake Hurwitz and I liked one thing that Mike Pence said in the context of a bunch of other stuff. But I really don't like Mike Pence as a guy or anything he stands for or who he is or what he's done. I got a hot take related to Jake's question. People who hate Donald Trump still follow him on Twitter. No one should follow him.
Starting point is 00:47:15 I think people that make fun of him all the time also follow him on Twitter and that's feeding the problem. People that are going to continue responding to the things he does after his presidency, that's part feeding the problem. People that are going to continue responding to the things he does after his presidency. That's part of the problem. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:28 I don't know if you're one of those people, you should stop. Stop following, even if you're doing it for the lulz stuff. Well, they, they suspended him indefinitely, which is great.
Starting point is 00:47:36 I think. Cause he's doing a lot of actual physical, clearly Facebook, the whole time you were doing Facebook, Twitter didn't put it. He's back on Twitter. Dorsey. Dorsey doesn't have the was like a 24-hour dance.
Starting point is 00:47:49 Dorsey doesn't have the huevos, man. And I've always said that. Well, I think Dorsey has more huevos than Zuckerberg. No, he does. He's a much better. Dorsey, he's let him back on, but he's been doing stuff for longer. Yeah, they've been censoring it. Fucking Zark-Fuckerberg doesn't do shit.
Starting point is 00:48:04 Yeah. Yeah. Zuckerberg's just trying to get the Senate on his side. Pow. Do you guys have anything to plug? Do you guys want to talk about Goat Show Season 3 coming up? Or are you still on Season 2? Oh, yeah. I guess it would be Season 3, theoretically.
Starting point is 00:48:21 We did a Season 1.5. The next season will be Season 2. Point O. three theoretically it's gonna we did a season 1.5 the next season will be season 2.0 and it's gonna be it's gonna be bigger better and more well thought out just like that promo bigger better more thought out go to your aka go to your micah your rhymes of like the blank the blank and the blank always that was my favorite part of the show and also knowing what the goat blank was the goat white t-shirt one is my favorite episode because it actually I actually got
Starting point is 00:48:55 an Everlane white tee and what did you think uh for me it wasn't the goat it was not it was too thin I feel like that's one of the thickest ones there's there's a couple different versions of the everlane they have like their basic they have their main one and then they have a thicker one if you we were talking about the
Starting point is 00:49:17 middle one is the is the goat because we also tried on their thinner undershirt um i think it wasn't basic one yeah you you got to get there it's an 18 shirt i think okay well i also like my body's very strange like my my shoulders are way too big for the rest of my body attached to your ankles for sure and then my yeah my ankles are the thinnest in my family uh we measure at the 2016 james reunion shirts have to have a lot of room in the shoulders otherwise it gets it gets pulled up right yeah it's weird well do you ever do the big and tall no because then it's too tall too big because then it's both of the things that says this anything to plug? follow me on Twitter and Instagram
Starting point is 00:50:13 at Marie K. Lon also listen to Keeping Records it's a new show that just came out relatively recently great show too Jake I think will have just been on when this comes out or is on today's episode so hell yeah yeah listen to that we went crazy um
Starting point is 00:50:35 that's all i got this is this is why we do this show to promote stuff to promote stuff sure but to like this kinship it's nice to talk to people every week yeah but that's almost doing it not enough justice one word to describe this show that was like the most nice earnest thing i've heard marika say and you shot it down because it's more it's more than nice being nice to talk to people what is the one word you're gonna come up with to replace timely of the times i would say groundbreaking but more than that it's it's actually just nice you know in a way i don't even think because to say it's nice is to do it in injustice and i think it's almost a responsibility of ours because we do have this platform marika is to use it for if not good to lift up voices
Starting point is 00:51:33 stop saying something that it's not before the thing that it is because you know what it is not good yeah if not good then to lift up voices right voices, right? And we do this not to have fun, but just then don't say that, you know? We don't do this show for clout, but it is nice to see a return. All right. So that is clout. Yeah. It's hard because usually we end the show on a button, but we aren't being funny right now, right?
Starting point is 00:52:05 Just end it right there. That was a HidGum Original.

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