The Headgum Podcast - 34: Mike or Ike

Episode Date: January 22, 2021

Danny, Mike, and Amir join Geoff to discuss , pipes, and Ike Barinholtz!EntourageSubscribe to the new Headgum podcast Keeping Records on your favorite podcast app!Advertise on The Headgum Pod...cast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. I couldn't move fluidly, and I was very breakable, fragile as a person. I played what was called summer league basketball, trying to make the team as a freshman, junior varsity. This is a private Jewish school, so set the bar low. Isn't it Dairy Academy? I'm not done yet. I'm not done yet. I'm not done yet.
Starting point is 00:00:28 So don't fucking talk to me yet. I think there's a lot of reasons you didn't make the team. You at the trail. Give me another shot, coach. Attitude problem. Welcome to another edition of the HeadGum Podcast, January 15th, 2021. We're all here. We're all present. This is our first time starting the show uh today danny seller is with us the most requested guest of the show i think in its entirety
Starting point is 00:01:12 slash history mike comate thanks for joining us amir blumenfeld here for better for worse what the hell what the hell what do you mean no yeah it's fine i guess i should say that we recorded for two minutes before i realized i wasn't recording anything we had to start over so i guess i deserve that gentle ribbon comedy go it was definitely comedy go gone lost forever like the dream team practice game that was like people talk about it still but nobody remembers it that's what the first two minutes of this pod will be. It's Grateful Dead live at Cornell University in 1977.
Starting point is 00:01:50 Everybody thinks they were there but they weren't. We all know about a Don Cheadle joke but nobody really remembers how it went. What about Don Cheadle waking up to see the sunrise? So D-A-W-N. That would have been my big break joke for sure. You ruined it. That joke on this show breaks you into Hollywood mainstream.
Starting point is 00:02:08 All over the New Yorker and like Vulture. The best joke in comedy this week. Amir knew it and he just deleted his recording. Oh no, I'm still rolling. We're good now. Oh, I had a segue and I forgot it. Don Cheadle, Black Iron Man maybe? It had to do with you, Danny.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Something around... Breakthrough comedy. King Day? No. it Don Cheadle Black Iron Man maybe it had to do with you Danny something around Breakthrough Comedy King Day no oh my god is that this weekend though do we have Monday off yeah Monday I mean I'd already passed when this record right when this drops oh that's right yeah it was last Monday
Starting point is 00:02:39 you don't get the weekend you never get a weekend off because you have to edit on Sundays right I don't have to but yeah I like to work on sundays so that i can complain on mondays and people are like oh my god how was your weekend i'm like shitty i have to fucking edit on a sunday even though i could have done it on a friday but i never do yeah i need the deadline this is the most staggered intro to the show we've ever had and i can't help but feel it that it's a mirror's fault because we did record for two minutes. And it was gold.
Starting point is 00:03:07 We were like in a good flow. Danny had a great Don Cheadle joke. Mike Comite was in the building. And now... I shrugged. It was a lead. Yeah. It was...
Starting point is 00:03:15 Maybe I'll just... Right here we'll put... Because we do have Danny's audio. Right here I'm going to... No, I... And he deleted it? I deleted it. I deleted mine as well
Starting point is 00:03:25 absolutely i did friday january 15th this is not your fault this is amir's fault it's good actually it's good that it's lost forever because now we'll start to our memories too will fade and the joke will be lost in time on today's episode we had micah jake and marika on so this week is an entirely new lineup i don't know if that's ever happened, where week to week there is not a repeat guest. I was going to say, I listened to now last week's episode,
Starting point is 00:03:54 and you didn't use the cold open idea that I had the week previous to that. And I thought that was going to be like a thing. But you sort of abandoned it right away. So was curious about it i think danny's also a little yeah miffed by the lack of note taking my agent did you think about it or you just completely forgot we'll yell at me in touch for sure yeah what's gonna happen is that sellers is gonna have another
Starting point is 00:04:21 great bit on this episode and then we'll put it as the cold open in three months. Yeah. Oh, I see. It's on a 12-week delay. All right. That makes sense. Yeah. Hit us with your three favorite Brooklyn Heights, Park Slope,
Starting point is 00:04:36 Boreham Hill spots during COVID only. Three, two, one, go. Okay. Number one, my living room couch. Got it. Number two two the office chair i'm sitting in right now that's another room number three uh my bed okay i'm worried sorry to cut you off i'm worried that people don't have access to that actually my bed is a speakeasy on seven and bergen he's the hottest you have to walk
Starting point is 00:05:06 through a payphone yeah at the back of a hot dog diner the dress code the office chair makes a amazing hot toddy this time of year a hot theater a hot doggy hot donnie cheetle um i fear that we're starting this podcast off on the wrong note not this episode i mean this year so we have these weird ideas coming from left then right you know cold opens you know things that people aren't used to in the tone of the podcast. Erstwhile, Team Coco is fucking taking over. I mean, my God, they got Rory Scoville. They poached Nicole from our asses, pulled the rug out from under Danny. I mean, who's next?
Starting point is 00:05:56 I can't help but feel that in a couple of weeks, this will be the Team Coco podcast. Us talking about shit we have no idea about. We don't work here. I know'm for sale yeah sure yeah if they just offer me a salary that's one dollar more than i make now i will gladly if not sadly leave this not no offense guys but hellhole i mean no who wants to be you started this no culture you started the whole endeavor and you would abandon it for a dollar? Yeah, I guess that comes out feeling like kind of petty. Because people are starting to give you, Jake and Marty, credit for kind of forecasting this gold rush of podcasting.
Starting point is 00:06:42 Like Team Coco is just getting into it earwolf is gone a shell of itself what's that why do you think it's gone there's still a lot of shows wondering if there's like you guys seem to have gotten in at on if not the ground floor roaring 20s of podcast a five-story walk up and you entered on the fifth floor and then it's burgeoned into this skyscraper this internationally renowned work of architecture in marvel uh yeah i guess thanks i don't know what you're trying to say man i'm trying to say take a break see what you've built in the last six years, man. Pat yourself on the back, castles or otherwise. Speaking of, I wonder what, how's Samantha B?
Starting point is 00:07:36 I wonder if we could get in on the ground door with Sam. We can't get on the ground door because that's not a thing. And also they've had a television show so decoded for 28 almost right oh you want her to start a podcast yes with us and then suddenly it's the team b the b team the a team podcast network poaching pretty good review review and all again yeah kind of your same deal one dollar more than the ad deals we get i'm gone to sam b's network mike are you familiar with the powers of Reiki? I'm not, no.
Starting point is 00:08:10 What a huge pivot. It all makes sense if you saw my outline. Did you share it? Did you share your outline? I can't give you the game plan because part of it is the element of surprise. Danny, you're in a committed relationship. Sir, I'm married. The highest level of commitment.
Starting point is 00:08:38 He treads lightly because he's made me married on this show like twice. And all it does is pressure me to propose even more than I already correct i'm legally binded to responsibility and at the very least spiritually agreeing to spend your life with someone i get that i get that for sure um jamal obviously the dog yeah what else about you makes you how you are to us um well like let's get to know what was the question exactly i sort of missed it in the the word jumble can you rephrase i said what makes danny have to be to us in how we perceive it to us okay because 40 seconds ago you asked Mike if what he knew about Reiki this is not how I wanted this to go all right you
Starting point is 00:09:30 really fucking threw me off Blumenfeld when you didn't record for the first two minutes like that's why this is happening this is like this is backwards no but yeah Danny what are some like more fun facts about you like you've been working here for four months now uh yeah I think four or five yeah so like I but because we don't have that day
Starting point is 00:09:55 to day I want to get to know Dan A um well for people listening I am black um that's one the first first thing about when you see me um uh yeah i mean i get to do this podcast every once in a while i work uh with gumball here in chicago when the world was uh not closed i was doing stand-up here in the city for about a year and a half or about almost two years now um yeah i'm married i have dog. Are you still planning on leaving Chicago? Yeah, if you guys will have me. I'm more than down to not be cold as shit for nine months out of the year. You always talk like you're on the verge of being fired.
Starting point is 00:10:35 And you're probably one of the most beloved people at this company. Probably the only one that brings monetary value to the company too, I would say. Not only necessary necessary but a culture fit a character i appreciate that move a cultural touchstone and a pillar a financial pillar and a pillar of confidence yeah um yeah well you're stuck in your second bedroom uh of your little basic flat in chicago you don't get a lot of human interaction so it's thank you for the the reassurance i needed it and how cold are we talking now oh it's a nice little uh mid-january mid-30s low 30s okay a little bit of snow earlier you can't complain too much yeah but then it's like it's walking the dog it's it's the ice on the ground from you know two weeks ago still it's
Starting point is 00:11:23 It's the ice on the ground from, you know, two weeks ago still. It's dirty snow. It's a whole vibe that's not there. So, yeah, let me go to L.A. and pursue my dreams and get a nice little tan and vitamin D. So we do a segment on this show, which is basically just anytime Marika talks about what she would like things to be, called Brownlee's Druthers. things to be called brownlee's druthers let's do sellers druthers um in terms of like what's your you can you can have your druthers with your career right so what is it is that writing for a show is that stand-up special and touring the whole year what is that oh um i would love to be a a stand-up that produces shows like tv shows or like a sketch like a job i think i'll be my yeah but just like better at stand-up
Starting point is 00:12:10 no but i mean these people are way more richer and successful than i am so these are just jokes but yeah i would like i i would want to be like a really good stand-up and produce show and even produce podcasts with what we're doing here so there's definitely synergies with uh head gun with what i would want to do in my dream job and it's nice to be able to work with people that get to do their quote-unquote dream job with jay kamir and marty and others so it's pretty tight to work for a small company i can see it now largo the newest show at Largo in LA. Sellers and Friends.
Starting point is 00:12:47 Or Sellers Remorse. Oh, that's pretty good. That might be fire. Sellers Remorse. Yeah, I like Sellers Remorse. Oh, that's good too. You want to work for me? It's a Sellers Market.
Starting point is 00:12:55 I would love to represent you in any way, shape, or form. I can't offer much in the ways of financial advancement, career opportunities, the like. Because it's all about relationships, right? You want your reps to have good relationships with development companies. I don't have those. And this is my pitch to you.
Starting point is 00:13:18 So what do you have? I can make you how you are now, but with a rep. That'd be nice to be able to say that in podcasts and something yeah so my agent was talking to me about all the opportunities i don't have and it's really just me biting into a turkey like oh shit i forgot to email this guy back for danny sell me this head don't handle livestock did y'all see that thing on uh there's a clip on twitter about one of the lawyers of the dude at the uh capitol hill uh riot or whatever he was like yeah bro like he was videotaped there the reporter asked the lawyer like so like how do you plan on representing this dude he was like well yeah he was definitely there and there's video and i don't really know what else to tell you and the guy that did the crime
Starting point is 00:14:10 was like right behind i'm like what kind of psychotic lawyer just like yeah he did this shit but the check cleared so fuck it that's how i feel like you would be as an agent absolutely no that's exactly right i was um i this show, Tuning Out the News, and they got Rudy Giuliani on the phone. And they were crank calling him. And they were like, I guess there's this cigar bar that he goes to. And he was like, hey, this is an ex-person from the Grand Havana bar. We wanted to inquire about a bill that we need to send you.
Starting point is 00:14:43 You sat on a chair for four minutes, and the stain is like nothing the Fiber Seal people have ever seen. It's not really related. Mike, you promised me you were going to come in hot today, and you've barely gotten a word in. I did. Amir swept it away. Amir took any hope of me coming with my egg into no dude there was i barely i was on a roll and no one can say otherwise no one can say otherwise right now
Starting point is 00:15:13 it's my word against yours i know you didn't delete your audio i know you still have what you said which was i'm under a blanket and here's some sunlight. Prove it, dude. That was your role that I ruined. I'm sorry. You're right. You're on a roll. Mike, I've never seen you like this. We've never met, but you're giving me a big Kylo Ren vibe. Yeah. I've had that before, actually. Kind of an Adam Driver, too. Yeah. We were on
Starting point is 00:15:38 a call with, name drop here, Bobby Moynihan for Dead Eyes, and he saw me sitting in the background of the Zoom call, and he goes me sitting in the background of the zoom call and he goes oh oh Kyler Ren's right behind you look out he killed his father he just said that that's cool and um yeah that's really it that's I met LeBron because his high school alma mater played my alma mater this is just in the way of like a worse celebrity story and I went up to him i gave him
Starting point is 00:16:05 a five dollar bill and to sign and i because everybody was like kind of storming him a little bit peacefully and i was like uh you know lebron we have the same last name and you know what he He didn't say anything. Nice. Okay. Dax! This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, if you had an extra hour in your day, a lot of people would spend that very differently than the one sitting next to them.
Starting point is 00:17:09 Maybe person A would go for a run, person B would take a nap, and patient zero would read a book. The point is, a lot of us spend our time and our lives wishing we had more hours in the day. And the question is, what is that time for? And if time was unlimited, how would you use it? The best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority thus. Therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it? I'm in therapy every week and I benefit from it personally as I pursue to better myself and be a better version of myself today than I was yesterday. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just therapy. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.
Starting point is 00:18:09 It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash whatsthat today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash whatsthat. Thanks, BetterHelp.com slash what's that today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P.com slash what's that. Thanks, BetterHelp. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe.
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Starting point is 00:19:30 That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. Were you a sports guy?
Starting point is 00:19:53 I was a sports guy in the way of like swimming, like as much as swimming is or isn't a sport. This is unique. I also, I did soccer, but I sucked. Amir, what sports did you do in high school? Very little. I wasn't allowed to play sports on my school team because everyone was better than me, obviously. I was 5'7 and 98 pounds and couldn't run very fast
Starting point is 00:20:20 or jump very high. I couldn't move fluidly, and I was very breakable, fragile as a person. I played what was called summer league basketball, trying to make the team as a freshman, junior varsity. This is a private Jewish school, so set the bar low. Isn't it? What is it, Dairy Academy?
Starting point is 00:20:38 I'm not done yet. I'm not done yet. So don't fucking talk to me yet. I think there's a lot of reasons you didn't make the team. You at the trail. Give me another shot, coach. Attitude problem. So I could shoot fine and do everything else poorly.
Starting point is 00:20:59 And I didn't quite crack the top 15 of the top 15 that didn't make it to varsity so it was the best 15 children sorry best 15 boys in a school with about 200 boys uh most of them were not interested in basketball uh they made the varsity then there was a tryout of about 18 for the next 15 and i didn't make that 15 so what i was left with is me twiddling my fucking thumbs playing nba jam on a sega genesis at age 15 and did you have they didn't let me play i couldn't have the genesis i really couldn't have the genesis why it takes no dexterity or any any of the skills you've listed that you didn't have my parents were afraid i'd have like a video game obsession so they wouldn't give me this shit so instead you turned to i'm just kidding they loved me they gave it to me yeah instead i just
Starting point is 00:21:56 started watching basketball which is like playing basketball only anybody can do it and that's how i ended up how i am your school so no i didn't play any sports in high school yeah well your high school was what dairy institute dairy institute dairy academy why dairy why do you think it was so milk based it sound doesn't it sound like milk oh yeah it was milken community high school michael milken yeah who was like a famous bond criminal invested in this school and that's why it's called michael milken community high school isn't it at the like top of bel-air i feel like i've driven past yeah it's on mulholland that's yeah it's a if right off the 405 if you're driving into the valley you look so stressed no I'm not stressed
Starting point is 00:22:50 it's like I have time codes of like when we're supposed to be where and like we have five more minutes to fill and I can't think of Jack Comate's offering me nothing in the form of entertainment value Sellers is Sellers out because I know that he's joining team coco the papers are already on
Starting point is 00:23:08 the way yeah what i proctored not only an exam yeah but the deal for danny for team coco so you were his agent you're a headhunter about okay what's that you're a headh hunter is what i said have you seen entourage yeah some you know ari gold yeah i'm ari brown what is your i'm gonna fight for my clients like what's that i am half indian half white bye as it were. In some way, shape, or form, I'm also curious about the world. So one could say I'm bi-curious and mercurial. Are you just
Starting point is 00:23:55 freestyling random words? No, I'm going to fight for my clients like I fight with them. My favorite scene from Entourage, and know it's like kind of a really misogynistic show i tried to re-watch it i was like oh i used to love this show and i re-watched it i was like these are this is low-hanging fruit but um that's when ari gold is in therapy couples therapy with this and he's just like she's complaining about how he has no time for her. The phone rings. And this is exactly what I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:24:27 Like, he has no time for me. It's always about work. And then he's like, I said that I'll make time for you. But this is the this is the bat line, babe. All right. This is the emergency cell phone. And then he's like, Bart, like looking to the therapist, like, right. And then she's like, I just saying, like, you could turn the phone off one hour, one hour a week is all I ask.
Starting point is 00:24:42 And he's like, well, you know, yeah, we could turn the phone off for an hour if you want to live in a like one bedroom apartment in studio fucking city right but if you want like a two-week vacation in santorini greece once a year then i gotta pick up the phone when it rings at 1 p.m on a fucking wednesday i would have to say it's his anger i mean he goes from zero to 100 in a second flash. Come on. Do you feel this is an accurate assessment, Eric? No, I'm a very calm guy. I mean, whether it's that's... I'm a very calm person, all right? Whether I'm at work or in a social situation,
Starting point is 00:25:17 I am extremely calm. But my wife, who I love very dearly, she likes to nag, and I react to the nagging. Overreact. Sometimes, okay, maybe, but without the nagging, no reaction. Well, what he calls nagging,
Starting point is 00:25:39 I call trying to have a relationship. Look, there's no proverbial judge sitting on a bench judging you. Ari, I told you to turn a relationship. Look, there's no proverbial judge sitting on a bench judging you. Ari, I told you to turn that off. I did turn it off, but this is the emergency line. This is the bat line. Do you need to get that?
Starting point is 00:25:53 I do need to take this, yes. No, he doesn't. I asked for one hour out of a day for his undivided attention, and I can't even have that. You can have it if you want to live in Agoura fucking Hills and go to group therapy,
Starting point is 00:26:03 but if you want a Beverly Hills mansion and you want a country club membership and you want nine weeks a year and a Tuscan villa, then I'm going to need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking Wednesday. See, that's it. You know what? I have to take this. So that's what I'll do. You mentioned committing to someone you love for the rest of your life. That is it might have to be what marriage is like for me.
Starting point is 00:26:25 It might have to be? Welcome to Oh Danny Boy The Pipes The Pipes Are Calling welcome to oh danny boy the pipes the pipes are calling um danny this is only for you. This, I'm gonna, I'm gonna play some type of pipe sound. Now, don't take it literally, or do. Um, I play the pipe sound. Mike and Amir, you can speak freely, but this game is only for Danny. Uh, and you have to describe in your own words what the pipe sound is and then attribute it to something.
Starting point is 00:27:27 Does that make sense? Yeah, it makes perfect sense. Okay, here we go. Pipe number one. Grammarly can help you write quickly and confidently, so you know how. Sounds like... Stop sleeping with earbuds in your... Sounds like someone who didn't pay for fucking premium YouTube.
Starting point is 00:27:43 That's what everybody keeps saying, but I thought that you even do get ads on YouTube premium. No, not the one you got. All right, here we go. Pipe sound number one. Answer it. It sounds like someone slowly having sex on like a fragile tin bed a new york city heater right yeah yeah right close that was heating pipes clanging in a house let's talk about no there are no houses in new york when you hear that is that actual like
Starting point is 00:28:20 metal on metal it sounds so metal on metal but it's really just like how is it like hot air steaming through a radiator clanking expanding contracting oh there's like little flaps that are hitting metal on metal i don't know where'd you find that i always said i should have been a plumber i never got to the bottom of that i plumbed last year meaning you fixed the toilet i installed a sink danny and i learned that to pl and I said this before, but to plumb is to get the pipes just so. That's the most boring sentence. To plumb is to make sure that the water supply line gets to where it needs to, to the valves, right? Of any kind of like you know faucet
Starting point is 00:29:06 or bathtub or etc showerhead um and it basically like this if this is the bottom of the sink and it's the drain pipe and it needs to get outside doing right now i spent a heartbroken period of my life after a breakup alone in an apartment during quarantine of a deadly virus was it your house or was it just like you were just freelancing laying down pipes i was diy-ing because i didn't want any like the sink was shitty of this apartment and i wanted to fix it you were renting a home and you did major work to the home. You're renting. I knocked down a wall. Sure. Rental?
Starting point is 00:29:50 No, I did. I voided the security deposit to be sure, but they definitely could charge more after all the work. No, you should be getting money, sir. You did major functional work in the home. I improved it to be absolutely sure. Pipe number two. Oh, Danny boy. What pipes pipes what pipes are calling sounds like someone recording like a coin exchange with a phone in their pocket yeah like a coin star yeah oh nice walmart coin star like as they're shifting the phone through their hands. That was the weird little hand movements in the microphone kind of threw me off,
Starting point is 00:30:50 but it was a coin star. Amir, didn't you used to turn dummy dimes into actual cash at coin stars? Yeah, so you take pennies and if you grind them down enough, when you pour them into the coin star, they act as 10 cents. So after like, let's say, 30 minutes of grinding the penny down to the dime sized metal, just one. No, I could do like 10 in a day and I would leave there with like a 50% success
Starting point is 00:31:15 rate. So I'm getting like basically 50 cents for every 10 pennies. Just pretty, it doesn't sound like a lot now, but this was 1999. It isn't. It isn't. Yeah. was 1999 it isn't it isn't yeah i was saying that like you could yeah you get because then you turn to the right it still wouldn't even equate to even with inflation it's not even it's less than minimum wage we should
Starting point is 00:31:35 also explain that you make yeah less than that but like when you're in high school we should explain to kids what coin stars are because basically like money used to come in these like metal discs that you could exchange for like actual cash and digital basically like money used to come in these like metal disks that you could exchange for like actual cash and digital currency so there used to be these giant kiosks that you can sort of dump your coins into and it would spit out a monetary value pipe number three wait what was pipe number two oh that was a radiator. Ah. Oh. Okay. This is pipe number three. I think Amir or Mike might get it.
Starting point is 00:32:12 Danny might also get it. But I feel like you either get it immediately or don't at all. So none of you got it. Mike is. Yeah, that's straight chin. Mike, do you know what it is? I think I know. Yeah, I know what it is.
Starting point is 00:32:24 Danny, you can phone a friend once. Oh, is it Mario Pipes? Yeah. Nice. Good work. Correct. It's not a game. It's just a segment, but still, it's correct.
Starting point is 00:32:36 All right. This one is, this is pipe number four. I might get fired. How many pipes are there? There's five. Okay. All right. What? The cheeks clapping? a mirror left
Starting point is 00:33:08 are you shitting me yes that's exactly right that is someone laying the pipe as it were Mike knows what I'm talking about this can't be in a podcast I'll bleep it I'll bleep it but we gotta get a mirror back cause if it's bleeped, then the payoff of him leaving doesn't
Starting point is 00:33:28 hit. All right. Here we go. Number five. Pipe number five. There's more? Is this still the ad amir this is pipe number five the one you missed was um laying the pipe sex wise yeah yeah um i'm assuming that is a young man in the 80s or 90s surfing a pipe. Exactly right.
Starting point is 00:34:06 I would have also taken Stevie Ray Vaughan's Pipeline because that's what the song is. But it was, I think, the theme song to the show Pipeline. Or no, sorry. It was the theme song to Back to the Beach surfing movie. Oh, okay. This has been Oh Danny Boy what pipes what pipes are calling oh Danny boy
Starting point is 00:34:28 what pipes what pipes are calling alright here we go the violent speed up of that was really crazy Welcome to Mike or Ike. That was like 30 seconds. So this is a game show with real cash involved. Again, $10 for every correct answer. Where I'm going to read a quote and it's either attributed to Mike Comate
Starting point is 00:35:25 or Ike Barinholtz. So you have to guess. Who has to guess? These are true things that both of them have said, whether verbally or not. Alright. Really gotta bring my A game. Mike. Correct! $10 really gotta bring my a game mike correct ten dollars to the yeah what to the bane of my existence sorry but like i know you give me employment or whatever but like it's these little gentle ribbings that happen in the slack
Starting point is 00:36:00 especially that just stick with me like i lay awake sweating yeah second one is very funny to me that most of these people running around and quoting orwell are the sort of people that orwell hated most that was ike baron holtz right correct twenty dollars wow really cleaning house here we go number three truly wish truly wish i lived in georgia today so I could play a small part in making sure Mitch McConnell's final years are mired in sadness and misery. Mike. You owe me $10, Dan. No, thank you. All right.
Starting point is 00:36:44 You can't put that on the air correct uh mike asked me to bleep it out but he did guess himself basically that's ten dollars to the man in shrouded in mystery and misery all right this one what about this ha ha ha ha both correct that's twenty dollars to danny He's up 10. Because you have to assume that both Mike and Ike have chuckled. At least once. Right, Amir? At least once. All right. I love Bucatini, and this article explaining its recent absence is just fantastic.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Ike? Correct! That's $30 to Amir. All right. Please, please cut out the part where I explicitly... How did you come up with this shit? Yeah, man. How do you come up with this, dude?
Starting point is 00:37:43 I can't be sure, but I swear to God, Mike might have said that. Yeah, I doubt it, but Mike? Correct. All right. So just to be clear, $40 to Amir, $10 to Danny. Just give me a fucking second here. Talk amongst yourselves. You don't have to do this, especially not now, during the show, to Venmo out. Danny what's your Venmo handle?
Starting point is 00:38:39 that sounds like intro music to like a Netflix like Beverly Hill Cop series. Yeah, one of the reality shows. Like how Cobra Kai is now. The remake. That would be nice. Let's make that happen. I can be Eddie Murphy. Amir, what do you think about
Starting point is 00:38:55 the recent trade? Huge trade in the NBA. Danny, are you an NBA fan too? Yes, sir. If you're from Cincinnati... Let's hear Mike's interest in the trade. i want to hear what mike has to say but danny you can answer that question first um grew up a legacy early 2000s and then um also calves fan so those are the two oh man regardless of the brown man that's those are my two squads yeah we got we were part of the trade we got jared allen young core sexton
Starting point is 00:39:21 garland strong coro strong afro he looked sad when he was getting off the plane it's funny because i mean the cavs social media refuses to acknowledge that none of the players want to play in cleveland so like they're like our two new guys and it's like jared allen stepping off and kind of hiding his face because he's like on the verge of tears mike you live close to barclays center let's hear what what the what's what's the vibe like in Brooklyn now that you guys got James fricking Harden? Just, I guess your quick reaction and then expectations going forward for the Nets. Oh, it's crazy, man.
Starting point is 00:39:55 Right? I'm out of control here. I just like, the people are screaming in the streets. Yeah. Flipping out outside. Yeah. I can't. You can't go anywhere.
Starting point is 00:40:05 I haven't left my apartment in two days. Yeah. And then what do you think? I did the trash out last night. Gaming on the streets, flipping out outside. You can't go anywhere. I haven't left my apartment in two days. Yeah, and then what do you think? What's your expectation for the squad going forward now? Championship or bust? Yeah, do you think it's going to be Lakers-Nets? That's just to anybody, I guess. That seems the most likely,
Starting point is 00:40:22 but I would bet on something else happening versus that specific matchup. Because the return would be better? Yeah, I mean, I'm curious. This is not a team that's played together at all, and now it's just like, all right, we're 12 games into the season and see if you can make it to the finals now. It usually doesn't happen that quickly. The only thing I will say is putting any superstar,
Starting point is 00:40:40 I know this is not a sports podcast, putting any superstar with KD is pretty deadly. That can be not Russell Westbrook, pretty much. You're saying deadly in a good way, like they're going to destroy? No, for them. You look at the Warriors, I thought the same thing. It's only one ball, but all these guys shooting. But when you have him and anyone else that is
Starting point is 00:41:06 a lead at scoring it's like now even if one person has a bad night this other person can still give you 40 easily yeah yeah so best two scores what do we think about kai speaking of cobra kai yeah super related to each other like what do we think of kairi irving in general or no about the shenanigans like he was on a zoom for you know some da candidate in brooklyn what is that what's politics like you gotta be serious about if you want to be a basketball player i guess i mean i don't know i think as you know as i know It was funny because that video went viral of him dancing at his sister's birthday party, which- Family, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:48 Family sucks. Everybody's had a COVID birthday by the end of this thing, and it's going to suck. Like, don't try to make the best of it, right? Like, nobody's going to text you on your birthday. And I can tell you from experience, and that's fine. That's COVID. Actually, my birthday is coming up. By the time this airs, it would have already happened.
Starting point is 00:42:04 So, it kind of hurts for you to hear that. And you have already started getting some gifts. Oh, yeah, you did. You sent me shoes for my birthday. What kind? They're Jordan 1s, you said. Wow, that's expensive. Yeah, really.
Starting point is 00:42:16 Jordan 1s. Yeah. Purple, right? Well, I love sending Amir iffy beef. From Yoshinoya didn't you also send me a shirt that says daddy's little funyun that was a 5xl i did send you that um i did send you a shirt that thank you that said daddy's little funyun um that was a 5xl oh my god that's a house that's a big ass t-shirt what do i like how do i get rid of this now you gave me garbage um yeah so the jordans were to make up for it i also feel this weird prediction that i'm gonna like make it huge somehow monetarily like get in on the ground of let's say a samantha b
Starting point is 00:43:09 podcast network you keep saying that but there's no way manifesting it blumenfeld i i bet you won't make it big on the ground door of anything let alone a samantha b podcast network i'm sorry to burst your bubble. Okay. I got to reevaluate. Yeah. Well, Danny, this is a great time to plug the podcast that you and I might do. Yeah, it's about money, isn't it? Money, right? Spendthrifts?
Starting point is 00:43:35 Racks on, racks off? That was another. There's no way I would ever do a show with you called Racks on, Racks Off. I would instantly put my two weeks notice you would quit your job entirely not even just say hey i don't want to do the show offended okay i get a lot of karate kid uh references in this podcast that's right yeah wax on wax off plugs danny tell the people what you're working on. Your social media is Follow Sellers on all platforms, right? Yes, sir.
Starting point is 00:44:09 Hopefully the show that we potentially do is going to be fire. Absolutely. If you listen to all the gumball and head gum shows, listen to those. I'm doing all kinds of stuff on my social media. Pop-up TV. Talking about sneakers every other friday whoa um when this when this drops i guess it'll be an off week but all kind of jazz it'll be an off white week so you got the um no oh just off week yeah okay so you didn't get what he said
Starting point is 00:44:39 let's just be appropriate okay yeah seriously sneakers are pretty serious business thank you of course i didn't want to be awkward but just we've been talking i don't think it's awkward it's just it's a lot to handle right now with jeff in charge yeah i could really use sucks to hear man ferris's superhero alter ego from episode nine what was that character you remember that i mean vaguely is that a blazer right behind you yeah i'm in a closet it's like these buttons gently rubbing against your ear all episode. Mike plugs anything. The floor is yours, go.
Starting point is 00:45:33 Old Best Friend, Apple Music, Spotify. Also, Old Best Friend, if you are playing the game Star Wars Squadrons, come fly with me. Come fly with me. Let's fly. Let's fly away. It's a Star Wars game where you fly a spaceship and you shoot people. It's fun.
Starting point is 00:45:47 So if you're playing that game, find me as old best friend in that game. How do you play that game? With a joystick and a throttle or a controller or a keyboard and mouse. Yeah, I built a PC for it actually. It's a $26 game and I built a $1,300 computer to play this $26 game. Is it that good? Investments?
Starting point is 00:46:03 Honestly, yes. It's been great. It's been a really fun experience to build a computer. And then for people to come, quote, find you, how would they find you? And then what does that mean to find you? In the game, it's an EA game. And so you have like this EA ID.
Starting point is 00:46:19 And so in the game, you can like search for somebody by their ID, which is old best friend for me in my case. And then you can join a squadron, a five person squadron, kind of like a basketball team, you know, basketball, five people. I know sports. Don't try to turn that into this. This is a basketball. Like an X-wing is kind of like, you know.
Starting point is 00:46:39 Power forward. Yeah, exactly. And I would say like maybe a B-wing is a center i would say because they're really tall and they yeah yeah look if we want to make star wars segments i can go on all day about this stuff but if you want to talk basketball this is all i got yeah i watched uh the the whole shit like two years ago from that was not chronological order but like like when the story was a pull i guess from the newest ones back to the old ones? Wow.
Starting point is 00:47:06 What's the order? What is that called? The order that they came out in or the order, like the episodic order? Episodic, like the early 2000s. Episode one. Oh, that's a really hard way to watch it. Because it's like the graphics and shit are like, okay. Then it goes to God awful.
Starting point is 00:47:21 Yeah. Then it goes to. My college girlfriend hadn't seen Star Wars ever. And so in college I was like, let's do an experiment. Let's show her the Star Wars films
Starting point is 00:47:30 in episodic order like you watch. She loved the prequel trilogy which people famously hate. She hated the original trilogy because the effects just got way worse.
Starting point is 00:47:38 All of a sudden it was a lot slower. Hated it. So she had a very similar experience to you. I think it's a horrible way to watch it. Okay. Finally on a a very similar experience to you. I think it's a horrible way to watch it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:47:48 Finally on a roll, dude. Come on. Sorry, I just needed to record it so that it would go into the quick time and I'll splice it in right when you say, come fly with me. Amir plugs. So sorry, yet you interrupted the flow of the conversation.
Starting point is 00:48:03 So you can use an audio clip, which you could have used anyway. Yeah, do you know how to edit? You used it to cut off Mike. And then you didn't go back to him. I just don't want to make more work for myself. Sorry that I am smart about how to streamline. Ruined the conversation in a podcast. As the host.
Starting point is 00:48:23 It's the most I've spoken on the show. Like in every episode. Mike gave us all his passions. As the host. It's the most I've spoken on the show. Like, in every episode. Mike gave us all his passions. He gave stories. He had clear, concise... Talked about building computers, Star Wars, past loves. Okay.
Starting point is 00:48:34 And then you just cut me off? I'm not going to sit here and be chastised. Right? That's the one thing I'm not going to do. You are. What else could you do?
Starting point is 00:48:44 Speaking of big words, Jeff, that dude on Twitter said we should start a podcast about big words in the dictionary. Did you see that? You added me on that. Yeah, I brought you into the thread and then also brought in Merriam-Webster's. So I'm wondering if there's like a sponsored podcast that we could kind of, you know, make a deal. They're on Dumbball. Merriam-Webster? Yeah. sponsored podcast that we could kind of, you know, make a deal, make a deal. And also, Mary Webster. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:08 Ferris cut this out. Cause this is going to happen. Forget this money idea. Amir plugs. Uh, yeah. Catch me outside. How about da? This has been a regrettable hour.
Starting point is 00:49:24 Oh my God. I was joking. joking danny mike thanks so much for doing the show uh you guys can cut and leave the zoom whenever you want i mean why don't you stay on recording no i want to nip it in the bud before it becomes a big thing you know what i mean it doesn't have to be bigger than it is already it's not not a big thing. All right. This is crazy. This is crazy. That was a Hiddem Original.

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