The Headgum Podcast - 34: Mike or Ike
Episode Date: January 22, 2021Danny, Mike, and Amir join Geoff to discuss , pipes, and Ike Barinholtz!EntourageSubscribe to the new Headgum podcast Keeping Records on your favorite podcast app!Advertise on The Headgum Pod...cast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
I couldn't move fluidly, and I was very breakable, fragile as a person.
I played what was called summer league basketball,
trying to make the team as a freshman, junior varsity.
This is a private Jewish school, so set the bar low.
Isn't it Dairy Academy?
I'm not done yet. I'm not done yet.
I'm not done yet.
So don't fucking talk to me yet.
I think there's a lot of reasons you didn't make the team.
You at the trail.
Give me another shot, coach.
Attitude problem. Welcome to another edition of the HeadGum Podcast, January 15th, 2021.
We're all here. We're all present.
This is our first time starting the show uh today
danny seller is with us the most requested guest of the show i think in its entirety
slash history mike comate thanks for joining us amir blumenfeld here for better for worse
what the hell what the hell what do you mean no yeah it's fine i guess i should say that we recorded
for two minutes before i realized i wasn't recording anything we had to start over so i
guess i deserve that gentle ribbon comedy go it was definitely comedy go gone lost forever like
the dream team practice game that was like people talk about it still but nobody remembers it that's
what the first two minutes of this pod will be.
It's Grateful Dead live at
Cornell University in 1977.
Everybody thinks they were there but they weren't.
We all know about a Don Cheadle joke
but nobody really remembers how it went.
What about Don Cheadle waking up
to see the sunrise? So D-A-W-N.
That would have been my big break joke
for sure. You ruined it.
That joke on this show breaks you into Hollywood mainstream.
All over the New Yorker and like Vulture.
The best joke in comedy this week.
Amir knew it and he just deleted his recording.
Oh no, I'm still rolling.
We're good now.
Oh, I had a segue and I forgot it.
Don Cheadle, Black Iron Man maybe?
It had to do with you, Danny.
Something around... Breakthrough comedy. King Day? No. it Don Cheadle Black Iron Man maybe it had to do with you Danny something around
Breakthrough Comedy King Day
no oh my god
is that this weekend though
do we have Monday off
yeah Monday I mean I'd already passed
when this record right when this drops
oh that's right yeah it was last Monday
you don't get the weekend you never get a weekend off because
you have to edit on Sundays right
I don't have to but yeah I like to work on sundays so that i can complain on mondays and people are
like oh my god how was your weekend i'm like shitty i have to fucking edit on a sunday even
though i could have done it on a friday but i never do yeah i need the deadline this is the
most staggered intro to the show we've ever had and i can't help but feel it that it's a mirror's
fault because we did record for two minutes.
And it was gold.
We were like in a good flow.
Danny had a great Don Cheadle joke.
Mike Comite was in the building.
And now...
I shrugged.
It was a lead.
Yeah.
It was...
Maybe I'll just...
Right here we'll put...
Because we do have Danny's audio.
Right here I'm going to...
No, I...
And he deleted it?
I deleted it.
I deleted mine as well
absolutely i did friday january 15th this is not your fault this is amir's fault it's good
actually it's good that it's lost forever because now we'll start to our memories too will fade and
the joke will be lost in time on today's episode we had micah jake and marika on so this week is
an entirely new lineup i don't know if that's
ever happened, where week to week there
is not a repeat guest.
I was going to say, I listened to
now last week's episode,
and you didn't use the
cold open idea that I had
the week previous to that.
And I thought that was going to
be like a thing.
But you sort of abandoned it right away. So was curious about it i think danny's also a little yeah miffed by
the lack of note taking my agent did you think about it or you just completely forgot we'll
yell at me in touch for sure yeah what's gonna happen is that sellers is gonna have another
great bit on this episode and then we'll put it as the cold open in three months.
Yeah.
Oh, I see.
It's on a 12-week delay.
All right.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Hit us with your three favorite Brooklyn Heights, Park Slope,
Boreham Hill spots during COVID only.
Three, two, one, go.
Okay.
Number one, my living room couch.
Got it. Number two two the office chair i'm
sitting in right now that's another room number three uh my bed okay i'm worried sorry to cut
you off i'm worried that people don't have access to that actually my bed is a speakeasy on seven
and bergen he's the hottest you have to walk
through a payphone yeah at the back of a hot dog diner the dress code the office chair makes a
amazing hot toddy this time of year
a hot theater a hot doggy hot donnie cheetle um i fear that we're starting this podcast off on the wrong note
not this episode i mean this year so we have these weird ideas coming from left then right
you know cold opens you know things that people aren't used to in the tone of the podcast. Erstwhile, Team Coco is fucking taking over.
I mean, my God, they got Rory Scoville.
They poached Nicole from our asses, pulled the rug out from under Danny.
I mean, who's next?
I can't help but feel that in a couple of weeks, this will be the Team Coco podcast.
Us talking about shit we have no idea about.
We don't work here. I know'm for sale yeah sure yeah if they just offer me a salary that's one dollar more than i make now i will
gladly if not sadly leave this not no offense guys but hellhole i mean no who wants to be
you started this no culture you started the whole endeavor and you would abandon it for a dollar?
Yeah, I guess that comes out feeling like kind of petty.
Because people are starting to give you, Jake and Marty,
credit for kind of forecasting this gold rush of podcasting.
Like Team Coco is just getting into it earwolf is gone a shell of
itself what's that why do you think it's gone there's still a lot of shows wondering if there's
like you guys seem to have gotten in at on if not the ground floor roaring 20s of podcast a five-story walk
up and you entered on the fifth floor and then it's burgeoned into this skyscraper this
internationally renowned work of architecture in marvel uh yeah i guess thanks i don't know
what you're trying to say man i'm trying to say take a break see what you've built in the last six years, man.
Pat yourself on the back, castles or otherwise.
Speaking of, I wonder what, how's Samantha B?
I wonder if we could get in on the ground door with Sam.
We can't get on the ground door because that's not a thing.
And also they've had a television show so decoded for 28
almost right oh you want her to start a podcast yes with us and then suddenly it's the team b
the b team the a team podcast network poaching pretty good review review and all again yeah
kind of your same deal one dollar more than the ad deals we get i'm gone to sam b's network
mike are you familiar with the powers of Reiki?
I'm not, no.
What a huge pivot.
It all makes sense if you saw my outline.
Did you share it?
Did you share your outline?
I can't give you the game plan because part of it is the element of surprise.
Danny, you're in a committed relationship.
Sir, I'm married.
The highest level of commitment.
He treads lightly because he's made me married on this show like twice.
And all it does is pressure me to propose even more than I already correct i'm legally binded to responsibility and at the very least spiritually
agreeing to spend your life with someone i get that i get that for sure um jamal obviously the
dog yeah what else about you makes you how you are to us um well like let's get to know what was the question exactly i sort
of missed it in the the word jumble can you rephrase i said what makes danny have to be to us
in how we perceive it to us okay because 40 seconds ago you asked Mike if what he knew
about Reiki this is not
how I wanted this to go all right you
really fucking threw me off
Blumenfeld when you didn't record for the
first two minutes like that's why this is
happening
this is like
this is backwards
no but yeah Danny what are some like more fun facts about you like you've been working here
for four months now uh yeah I think four or five yeah so like I but because we don't have that day
to day I want to get to know Dan A um well for people listening I am black um that's one the
first first thing about when you see me um uh yeah i mean i get to do this
podcast every once in a while i work uh with gumball here in chicago when the world was uh
not closed i was doing stand-up here in the city for about a year and a half or about almost two
years now um yeah i'm married i have dog. Are you still planning on leaving Chicago?
Yeah, if you guys will have me.
I'm more than down to not be cold as shit for nine months out of the year.
You always talk like you're on the verge of being fired.
And you're probably one of the most beloved people at this company.
Probably the only one that brings monetary value to the company too, I would say.
Not only necessary necessary but a culture
fit a character i appreciate that move a cultural touchstone and a pillar a financial pillar and a
pillar of confidence yeah um yeah well you're stuck in your second bedroom uh of your little
basic flat in chicago you don't get a lot of human interaction so it's thank you for the the reassurance i needed it and how cold are we talking now oh it's a nice little uh mid-january
mid-30s low 30s okay a little bit of snow earlier you can't complain too much yeah but then it's
like it's walking the dog it's it's the ice on the ground from you know two weeks ago still it's
It's the ice on the ground from, you know, two weeks ago still.
It's dirty snow. It's a whole vibe that's not there.
So, yeah, let me go to L.A. and pursue my dreams and get a nice little tan and vitamin D.
So we do a segment on this show, which is basically just anytime Marika talks about what she would like things to be, called Brownlee's Druthers.
things to be called brownlee's druthers let's do sellers druthers um in terms of like what's your you can you can have your druthers with your career right so what is it is that writing for a
show is that stand-up special and touring the whole year what is that oh um i would love to be
a a stand-up that produces shows like tv shows or like a sketch like a job i think i'll be my
yeah but just like better at stand-up
no but i mean these people are way more richer and successful than i am so these are just jokes but
yeah i would like i i would want to be like a really good stand-up and produce show and even
produce podcasts with what we're doing
here so there's definitely synergies with uh head gun with what i would want to do in my dream job
and it's nice to be able to work with people that get to do their quote-unquote dream job with
jay kamir and marty and others so it's pretty tight to work for a small company i can see it
now largo the newest show at Largo in LA.
Sellers and Friends.
Or Sellers Remorse.
Oh, that's pretty good.
That might be fire.
Sellers Remorse.
Yeah, I like Sellers Remorse.
Oh, that's good too.
You want to work for me?
It's a Sellers Market.
I would love to represent you in any way, shape, or form.
I can't offer much in the ways of financial advancement,
career opportunities, the like.
Because it's all about relationships, right?
You want your reps to have good relationships
with development companies.
I don't have those.
And this is my pitch to you.
So what do you have?
I can make you how you are now, but with a rep.
That'd be nice to be able to say that in podcasts and something yeah so my agent was talking to me about all the opportunities i
don't have and it's really just me biting into a turkey like oh shit i forgot to email this guy
back for danny sell me this head don't handle livestock did y'all see that thing on uh there's a clip on
twitter about one of the lawyers of the dude at the uh capitol hill uh riot or whatever he was
like yeah bro like he was videotaped there the reporter asked the lawyer like so like how do
you plan on representing this dude he was like well yeah he was definitely there and there's video and i don't really know what else to tell you and the guy that did the crime
was like right behind i'm like what kind of psychotic lawyer just like yeah he did this
shit but the check cleared so fuck it that's how i feel like you would be as an agent absolutely
no that's exactly right i was um i this show, Tuning Out the News,
and they got Rudy Giuliani on the phone.
And they were crank calling him.
And they were like, I guess there's this cigar bar that he goes to.
And he was like, hey, this is an ex-person from the Grand Havana bar.
We wanted to inquire about a bill that we need to send you.
You sat on a chair for four minutes,
and the stain is like nothing the Fiber Seal people have ever seen.
It's not really related.
Mike, you promised me you were going to come in hot today,
and you've barely gotten a word in.
I did. Amir swept it away.
Amir took any hope of me coming with my egg into no dude there was i
barely i was on a roll and no one can say otherwise no one can say otherwise right now
it's my word against yours i know you didn't delete your audio i know you still have what
you said which was i'm under a blanket and here's some sunlight. Prove it, dude. That was your role that I ruined. I'm sorry.
You're right. You're on a roll. Mike, I've never seen you like
this. We've never met, but
you're giving me a big Kylo Ren vibe.
Yeah. I've had
that before, actually.
Kind of an Adam Driver, too. Yeah. We were on
a call with, name drop
here, Bobby Moynihan for Dead Eyes,
and he saw me sitting in the background
of the Zoom call, and he goes me sitting in the background of the zoom
call and he goes oh oh Kyler Ren's right behind you look out he killed his father he just said
that that's cool and um yeah that's really it that's I met LeBron because his high school
alma mater played my alma mater this is just in the way of like a worse celebrity story and I went
up to him i gave him
a five dollar bill and to sign and i because everybody was like kind of storming him a little
bit peacefully and i was like uh you know lebron we have the same last name and you know what he He didn't say anything.
Nice.
Okay.
Dax!
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Were you a sports guy?
I was a sports guy in the way of like swimming, like as much as swimming is or isn't a sport.
This is unique.
I also, I did soccer, but I sucked.
Amir, what sports did you do in high school?
Very little.
I wasn't allowed to play sports on my school team
because everyone was better than me, obviously.
I was 5'7 and 98 pounds and couldn't run very fast
or jump very high.
I couldn't move fluidly, and I was very breakable, fragile as a person.
I played what was called summer league basketball,
trying to make the team as a freshman, junior varsity.
This is a private Jewish school,
so set the bar low.
Isn't it?
What is it, Dairy Academy?
I'm not done yet.
I'm not done yet.
So don't fucking talk to me yet.
I think there's a lot of reasons you didn't make the team.
You at the trail.
Give me another shot, coach.
Attitude problem.
So I could shoot fine and do everything else poorly.
And I didn't quite crack the top 15 of the top 15 that didn't make it to varsity so it was the best 15 children
sorry best 15 boys in a school with about 200 boys uh most of them were not interested in basketball
uh they made the varsity then there was a tryout of about 18 for the next 15 and i didn't make that 15 so what i was left with is me
twiddling my fucking thumbs playing nba jam on a sega genesis at age 15 and did you have
they didn't let me play i couldn't have the genesis i really couldn't have the genesis why
it takes no dexterity or any any of the skills you've listed that you didn't have my
parents were afraid i'd have like a video game obsession so they wouldn't give me this shit
so instead you turned to i'm just kidding they loved me they gave it to me yeah instead i just
started watching basketball which is like playing basketball only anybody can do it
and that's how i ended up how i am your school so no i didn't play any sports in high
school yeah well your high school was what dairy institute dairy institute dairy academy
why dairy why do you think it was so milk based it sound doesn't it sound like milk
oh yeah it was milken community high school michael milken yeah who was like a famous bond criminal invested in this school and that's why it's called michael milken community high
school isn't it at the like top of bel-air i feel like i've driven past yeah it's on
mulholland that's yeah it's a if right off the 405 if you're driving into the valley you look so stressed
no I'm not stressed
it's like I have time codes of like when we're
supposed to be where and like we have five more
minutes to fill and I can't think of
Jack Comate's offering me
nothing in the form of
entertainment value
Sellers is Sellers out
because I know that he's joining team coco the papers are already on
the way yeah what i proctored not only an exam yeah but the deal for danny for team coco so you
were his agent you're a headhunter about okay what's that you're a headh hunter is what i said have you seen entourage yeah some you know ari gold yeah
i'm ari brown what is your i'm gonna fight for my clients like what's that
i am half indian half white bye as it were.
In some way, shape, or form, I'm also curious about the
world. So one could say
I'm bi-curious and
mercurial. Are you just
freestyling random words?
No, I'm going to fight for my clients like I fight
with them.
My favorite scene from Entourage, and know it's like kind of a really misogynistic show
i tried to re-watch it i was like oh i used to love this show and i re-watched it i was like
these are this is low-hanging fruit but um that's when ari gold is in therapy couples therapy with
this and he's just like she's complaining about how he has no time for her. The phone rings.
And this is exactly what I'm talking about.
Like, he has no time for me.
It's always about work.
And then he's like, I said that I'll make time for you.
But this is the this is the bat line, babe.
All right.
This is the emergency cell phone.
And then he's like, Bart, like looking to the therapist, like, right.
And then she's like, I just saying, like, you could turn the phone off one hour, one hour a week is all I ask.
And he's like, well, you know, yeah, we could turn the phone off for an hour if you want to live in a like one bedroom apartment in studio fucking city
right but if you want like a two-week vacation in santorini greece once a year then i gotta pick up
the phone when it rings at 1 p.m on a fucking wednesday i would have to say it's his anger
i mean he goes from zero to 100 in a second flash. Come on. Do you feel this is an accurate assessment, Eric?
No, I'm a very calm guy.
I mean, whether it's that's...
I'm a very calm person, all right?
Whether I'm at work or in a social situation,
I am extremely calm.
But my wife, who I love very dearly,
she likes to nag, and I react to the nagging.
Overreact.
Sometimes, okay, maybe,
but without the nagging,
no reaction.
Well, what he calls nagging,
I call trying to have a relationship.
Look, there's no proverbial judge
sitting on a bench judging you. Ari, I told you to turn a relationship. Look, there's no proverbial judge sitting on a bench judging you.
Ari, I told you to turn that off.
I did turn it off,
but this is the emergency line.
This is the bat line.
Do you need to get that?
I do need to take this, yes.
No, he doesn't.
I asked for one hour out of a day
for his undivided attention,
and I can't even have that.
You can have it if you want to live
in Agoura fucking Hills
and go to group therapy,
but if you want a Beverly Hills mansion
and you want a country club membership and you want nine weeks a year and a Tuscan villa, then I'm going to need to take a call when it comes in at noon on a motherfucking Wednesday.
See, that's it.
You know what?
I have to take this.
So that's what I'll do.
You mentioned committing to someone you love for the rest of your life.
That is it might have to be what marriage is like for me.
It might have to be?
Welcome to
Oh Danny Boy The Pipes The Pipes Are Calling welcome to oh danny boy the pipes the pipes are calling
um danny this is only for you. This, I'm gonna, I'm gonna play some type of pipe sound.
Now, don't take it literally, or do.
Um, I play the pipe sound.
Mike and Amir, you can speak freely, but this game is only for Danny.
Uh, and you have to describe in your own words what the pipe sound is and then attribute it to something.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, it makes perfect sense.
Okay, here we go.
Pipe number one.
Grammarly can help you write quickly and confidently, so you know how.
Sounds like...
Stop sleeping with earbuds in your...
Sounds like someone who didn't pay for fucking premium YouTube.
That's what everybody keeps saying, but I thought that you even do get ads on YouTube premium.
No, not the one you got.
All right, here we go.
Pipe sound number one.
Answer it.
It sounds like someone slowly having sex on like a fragile tin bed
a new york city heater right yeah yeah right close that was heating pipes clanging in a house
let's talk about no there are no houses in new york when you hear that is that actual like
metal on metal it sounds so metal on metal but it's really just like how is it like hot air
steaming through a radiator clanking expanding contracting oh there's like little flaps that
are hitting metal on metal i don't know where'd you find that i always said i should have been
a plumber i never got to the bottom of that i plumbed last year meaning you fixed the toilet
i installed a sink danny and i learned that to pl and I said this before, but to plumb is to get the pipes just so.
That's the most boring sentence.
To plumb is to make sure that the water supply line gets to where it needs to, to the valves, right?
Of any kind of like you know faucet
or bathtub or etc showerhead um and it basically like this if this is the bottom of the sink
and it's the drain pipe and it needs to get outside doing right now i spent a heartbroken
period of my life after a breakup alone in an apartment during quarantine of a deadly virus was it your house or
was it just like you were just freelancing laying down pipes i was diy-ing because i didn't want
any like the sink was shitty of this apartment and i wanted to fix it you were renting a home and you did major work to the home. You're renting.
I knocked down a wall.
Sure.
Rental?
No, I did.
I voided the security deposit to be sure, but they definitely could charge more after all the work.
No, you should be getting money, sir.
You did major functional work in the home. I improved it to be absolutely sure.
Pipe number two.
Oh, Danny boy. What pipes pipes what pipes are calling sounds like someone recording like a coin exchange with a phone in their pocket yeah like a coin star yeah oh nice walmart coin star like
as they're shifting the phone through their hands.
That was the weird little hand movements in the microphone kind of threw me off,
but it was a coin star.
Amir, didn't you used to turn dummy dimes into actual cash at coin stars?
Yeah, so you take pennies and if you grind them down enough,
when you pour them into the coin star, they act as 10 cents.
So after like, let's say, 30 minutes of grinding the penny down to the dime sized metal,
just one.
No,
I could do like 10 in a day and I would leave there with like a 50% success
rate.
So I'm getting like basically 50 cents for every 10 pennies.
Just pretty,
it doesn't sound like a lot now,
but this was 1999.
It isn't. It isn't. Yeah. was 1999 it isn't it isn't yeah i
was saying that like you could yeah you get because then you turn to the right it still
wouldn't even equate to even with inflation it's not even it's less than minimum wage we should
also explain that you make yeah less than that but like when you're in high school we should
explain to kids what coin stars are because basically like money used to come in these
like metal discs that you could exchange for like actual cash and digital basically like money used to come in these like metal disks that you
could exchange for like actual cash and digital currency so there used to be these giant kiosks
that you can sort of dump your coins into and it would spit out a monetary value pipe number three
wait what was pipe number two oh that was a radiator. Ah. Oh. Okay.
This is pipe number three.
I think Amir or Mike might get it.
Danny might also get it.
But I feel like you either get it immediately or don't at all.
So none of you got it.
Mike is.
Yeah, that's straight chin.
Mike, do you know what it is?
I think I know.
Yeah, I know what it is.
Danny, you can phone a friend once.
Oh, is it Mario Pipes?
Yeah.
Nice.
Good work.
Correct.
It's not a game.
It's just a segment, but still, it's correct.
All right.
This one is, this is pipe number four.
I might get fired.
How many pipes are there?
There's five.
Okay. All right.
What?
The cheeks clapping? a mirror left
are you shitting me
yes that's exactly right
that is someone
laying the pipe as it were
Mike knows what I'm talking about
this can't be in a podcast
I'll bleep it
I'll bleep it but we gotta get a mirror back cause if it's bleeped, then the payoff of him leaving doesn't
hit.
All right.
Here we go.
Number five.
Pipe number five.
There's more?
Is this still the ad amir this is pipe number five the one you missed was um laying the pipe sex wise yeah yeah um i'm assuming that is a young man in the 80s or 90s surfing a pipe.
Exactly right.
I would have also taken Stevie Ray Vaughan's Pipeline
because that's what the song is.
But it was, I think, the theme song to the show Pipeline.
Or no, sorry.
It was the theme song to Back to the Beach surfing movie.
Oh, okay.
This has been Oh Danny Boy what pipes what pipes are calling
oh Danny boy
what pipes what pipes are calling
alright here we go
the violent speed up of that
was really crazy Welcome to Mike or Ike.
That was like 30 seconds.
So this is a game show with real cash involved.
Again, $10 for every correct answer.
Where I'm going to read a quote and it's either attributed to Mike Comate
or Ike Barinholtz.
So you have to guess.
Who has to guess? These are true things
that both of them have said, whether
verbally or not.
Alright.
Really gotta bring my A game.
Mike. Correct! $10 really gotta bring my a game mike correct ten dollars to the yeah what to the bane of my existence sorry but like i know you give me employment or whatever but like it's these little gentle ribbings that happen in the slack
especially that just stick with me like i lay awake sweating yeah second one is very
funny to me that most of these people running around and quoting orwell are the sort of people
that orwell hated most that was ike baron holtz right correct twenty dollars wow really cleaning
house here we go number three truly wish truly wish i lived in georgia today so I could play a small part in making sure Mitch McConnell's final years are mired in sadness and misery.
Mike.
You owe me $10, Dan.
No, thank you.
All right.
You can't put that on the air correct uh mike asked me to bleep it out but he did guess himself
basically that's ten dollars to the man in shrouded in mystery and misery all right this one what
about this ha ha ha ha both correct that's twenty dollars to danny He's up 10. Because you have to assume that both Mike and Ike have chuckled.
At least once.
Right, Amir?
At least once.
All right.
I love Bucatini, and this article explaining its recent absence is just fantastic.
Ike?
Correct!
That's $30 to Amir.
All right.
Please, please cut out the part where I explicitly...
How did you come up with this shit?
Yeah, man.
How do you come up with this, dude?
I can't be sure, but I swear to God, Mike might have said that.
Yeah, I doubt it, but Mike?
Correct.
All right.
So just to be clear, $40 to Amir, $10 to Danny.
Just give me a fucking second here.
Talk amongst yourselves.
You don't have to do this, especially not now, during the show, to Venmo out. Danny what's your Venmo handle?
that sounds like intro music
to like a Netflix
like Beverly Hill Cop series.
Yeah, one of the reality shows.
Like how Cobra Kai is now. The remake.
That would be nice.
Let's make that happen. I can be Eddie Murphy.
Amir, what do you think about
the recent trade? Huge trade in the NBA.
Danny, are you an NBA fan too?
Yes, sir. If you're from Cincinnati...
Let's hear Mike's interest in
the trade. i want to hear
what mike has to say but danny you can answer that question first um grew up a legacy early
2000s and then um also calves fan so those are the two oh man regardless of the brown man that's
those are my two squads yeah we got we were part of the trade we got jared allen young core sexton
garland strong coro strong afro he looked sad when he was getting off the plane
it's funny because i mean the cavs social media refuses to acknowledge that none of the players
want to play in cleveland so like they're like our two new guys and it's like jared allen stepping
off and kind of hiding his face because he's like on the verge of tears mike you live close to
barclays center let's hear what what the what's what's the vibe like in Brooklyn now that you guys got James
fricking Harden?
Just, I guess your quick reaction and then expectations going forward for the Nets.
Oh, it's crazy, man.
Right?
I'm out of control here.
I just like, the people are screaming in the streets.
Yeah.
Flipping out outside.
Yeah.
I can't.
You can't go anywhere.
I haven't left my apartment in two days. Yeah. And then what do you think? I did the trash out last night. Gaming on the streets, flipping out outside. You can't go anywhere.
I haven't left my apartment in two days.
Yeah, and then what do you think?
What's your expectation for the squad going forward now?
Championship or bust?
Yeah, do you think it's going to be Lakers-Nets?
That's just to anybody, I guess.
That seems the most likely,
but I would bet on something else happening versus that specific matchup.
Because the return would be better?
Yeah, I mean, I'm curious.
This is not a team that's played together at all,
and now it's just like, all right, we're 12 games into the season
and see if you can make it to the finals now.
It usually doesn't happen that quickly.
The only thing I will say is putting any superstar,
I know this is not a sports podcast,
putting any superstar with KD is pretty deadly.
That can be not Russell Westbrook, pretty much.
You're saying deadly in a good way, like they're going to destroy?
No, for them.
You look at the Warriors, I thought the same thing.
It's only one ball, but all these guys shooting.
But when you have him and anyone else that is
a lead at scoring it's like now even if one person has a bad night this other person can still give
you 40 easily yeah yeah so best two scores what do we think about kai speaking of cobra kai yeah
super related to each other like what do we think of kairi irving in general or no about the shenanigans
like he was on a zoom for you know some da candidate in brooklyn what is that what's
politics like you gotta be serious about if you want to be a basketball player i guess i mean i
don't know i think as you know as i know It was funny because that video went viral of him dancing at his sister's birthday party,
which-
Family, yeah.
Family sucks.
Everybody's had a COVID birthday by the end of this thing, and it's going to suck.
Like, don't try to make the best of it, right?
Like, nobody's going to text you on your birthday.
And I can tell you from experience, and that's fine.
That's COVID.
Actually, my birthday is coming up.
By the time this airs, it would have already happened.
So, it kind of hurts for you to hear that.
And you have already started getting some gifts.
Oh, yeah, you did.
You sent me shoes for my birthday.
What kind?
They're Jordan 1s, you said.
Wow, that's expensive.
Yeah, really.
Jordan 1s.
Yeah.
Purple, right?
Well, I love sending Amir iffy beef.
From Yoshinoya didn't you also send me a shirt that says daddy's little funyun that was a 5xl i did send you that um i did send you a shirt that thank you that said daddy's little
funyun um that was a 5xl oh my god that's a house that's a big ass t-shirt what do i like how do i get rid of this now
you gave me garbage um yeah so the jordans were to make up for it i also feel this weird
prediction that i'm gonna like make it huge somehow monetarily like get in on the ground of let's say a samantha b
podcast network you keep saying that but there's no way manifesting it blumenfeld i i bet you won't
make it big on the ground door of anything let alone a samantha b podcast network i'm sorry to
burst your bubble. Okay.
I got to reevaluate.
Yeah.
Well, Danny, this is a great time to plug the podcast that you and I might do. Yeah, it's about money, isn't it?
Money, right?
Spendthrifts?
Racks on, racks off?
That was another.
There's no way I would ever do a show with you called Racks on, Racks Off.
I would instantly put my two weeks notice
you would quit your job entirely not even just say hey i don't want to do the show
offended okay i get a lot of karate kid uh references in this podcast that's right yeah
wax on wax off plugs danny tell the people what you're working on.
Your social media is Follow Sellers on all platforms, right? Yes, sir.
Hopefully the show that we potentially do is going to be fire.
Absolutely.
If you listen to all the gumball and head gum shows, listen to those.
I'm doing all kinds of stuff on my social media.
Pop-up TV.
Talking about sneakers every other friday
whoa um when this when this drops i guess it'll be an off week but all kind of jazz it'll be an
off white week so you got the um no oh just off week yeah okay so you didn't get what he said
let's just be appropriate okay yeah seriously sneakers are pretty serious business thank you
of course i didn't want to be awkward but just we've been talking i don't think it's awkward
it's just it's a lot to handle right now with jeff in charge yeah i could really use sucks to
hear man ferris's superhero alter ego from episode nine what was that character
you remember that i mean vaguely is that a blazer right behind you yeah i'm in a closet
it's like these buttons gently rubbing against your ear all episode.
Mike plugs anything.
The floor is yours, go.
Old Best Friend, Apple Music, Spotify.
Also, Old Best Friend,
if you are playing the game Star Wars Squadrons,
come fly with me.
Come fly with me.
Let's fly.
Let's fly away.
It's a Star Wars game where you fly a spaceship and you shoot people. It's fun.
So if you're playing that game, find me as old best friend in that game.
How do you play that game?
With a joystick and a throttle or a controller
or a keyboard and mouse.
Yeah, I built a PC for it actually. It's a $26
game and I built a $1,300 computer
to play this $26 game.
Is it that good? Investments?
Honestly, yes.
It's been great.
It's been a really fun experience to build a computer.
And then for people to come, quote, find you,
how would they find you?
And then what does that mean to find you?
In the game, it's an EA game.
And so you have like this EA ID.
And so in the game,
you can like search for somebody by their ID,
which is old best friend for me in my case.
And then you can join a squadron, a five person squadron, kind of like a basketball team, you know, basketball, five people.
I know sports.
Don't try to turn that into this.
This is a basketball.
Like an X-wing is kind of like, you know.
Power forward.
Yeah, exactly.
And I would say like maybe a B-wing is a center i would say because they're really
tall and they yeah yeah look if we want to make star wars segments i can go on all day about this
stuff but if you want to talk basketball this is all i got yeah i watched uh the the whole shit
like two years ago from that was not chronological order but like like when the story was a pull i
guess from the newest ones back to the old ones?
Wow.
What's the order?
What is that called?
The order that they came out in or the order, like the episodic order?
Episodic, like the early 2000s.
Episode one.
Oh, that's a really hard way to watch it.
Because it's like the graphics and shit are like, okay.
Then it goes to God awful.
Yeah.
Then it goes to.
My college girlfriend hadn't seen Star Wars ever.
And so in college
I was like,
let's do an experiment.
Let's show her
the Star Wars films
in episodic order
like you watch.
She loved the prequel
trilogy which people
famously hate.
She hated the original
trilogy because the
effects just got way worse.
All of a sudden
it was a lot slower.
Hated it.
So she had a very
similar experience to you.
I think it's a horrible
way to watch it. Okay. Finally on a a very similar experience to you. I think it's a horrible way to watch it.
Okay.
Finally on a roll, dude.
Come on.
Sorry, I just needed to record it
so that it would go into the quick time
and I'll splice it in right when you say,
come fly with me.
Amir plugs.
So sorry, yet you interrupted the flow of the conversation.
So you can use an audio clip, which you could have used anyway.
Yeah, do you know how to edit?
You used it to cut off Mike.
And then you didn't go back to him.
I just don't want to make more work for myself.
Sorry that I am smart about how to streamline.
Ruined the conversation in a podcast.
As the host.
It's the most I've spoken on the show.
Like in every episode. Mike gave us all his passions. As the host. It's the most I've spoken on the show. Like, in every episode.
Mike gave us all his passions.
He gave stories.
He had clear, concise...
Talked about building computers,
Star Wars, past loves.
Okay.
And then you just cut me off?
I'm not going to sit here
and be chastised.
Right?
That's the one thing
I'm not going to do.
You are.
What else could you do?
Speaking of big words, Jeff, that dude on Twitter said we should start a podcast about big words in the dictionary.
Did you see that?
You added me on that.
Yeah, I brought you into the thread and then also brought in Merriam-Webster's.
So I'm wondering if there's like a sponsored podcast that we could kind of, you know, make a deal.
They're on Dumbball.
Merriam-Webster? Yeah. sponsored podcast that we could kind of, you know, make a deal, make a deal. And also, Mary Webster.
Yeah.
Ferris cut this out. Cause this is going to happen.
Forget this money idea.
Amir plugs.
Uh,
yeah.
Catch me outside.
How about da?
This has been a regrettable hour.
Oh my God. I was joking. joking danny mike thanks so much for
doing the show uh you guys can cut and leave the zoom whenever you want i mean why don't you stay
on recording no i want to nip it in the bud before it becomes a big thing you know what i mean it
doesn't have to be bigger than it is already it's not not a big thing. All right. This is crazy.
This is crazy.
That was a Hiddem Original.