The Headgum Podcast - 41: The Price is Wright

Episode Date: March 12, 2021

Danny, Johnny, and Marty join Geoff to discuss clubbing, Marty's job as CEO so far, and celebrities named Wright.Subscribe to the new Headgum podcast Keeping Records on your favorite podcast ...app!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Jake, which is the piece that got stuck in your ass in fifth grade? Was that the reed or the plastic part? Because you said you had that situation where you said you tried to blow up the saxophone with your ass. I forget if it was the reed. No, it wasn't reed. It was a different word. Would you say the plastic part was called reed?
Starting point is 00:00:31 No. It was behind Jakeake sphincter i never put a sax in my ass in grade school okay it was in high school that didn't happen it was in college it was when i was pledging a frat i said to hell with sax and i put it in my axe kiss my sass holy shit it's beautiful the reed is wet the day is right jake twerking careless you're not putting a frat you got you didn't get a bid anywhere and so it continues all right welcome to another edition of the head gum podcast uh what's that why would you use that use what i just found like a jingle that's i don't want to expose myself but that is from you know the hub what's the hub, Johnny? Huge bomb drop.
Starting point is 00:01:52 I cornered him and I fucking got him. Hook, line, sinker. Johnny watches internet pornography. This is hilarious, Danny. Yeah, it's not really a bad thing. Really? No. I've been listening to this podcast. It's been getting nastier every week.
Starting point is 00:02:08 Right. Name the show Real Sex. That must be why listenership is skyrocketing. Right. It coincides, a mere coincides with the horniness of quarantine, right? The corniness of it all. Danny, you're married, so you don't understand the plight of Johnny, Marty, The corniness of it all. Danny, you're married, so you don't understand the plight of Johnny, Marty, and I.
Starting point is 00:02:28 Don't put your plight on me. We haven't gotten into some strange in the better part of a semester. Don't you dare do that. All right, all right. Easy, easy. We don't know what goes on beyond the doors of, what is it?
Starting point is 00:02:40 God, you have to bleep that out. Every time. What's new with you guys? All three of you, but especially Marty, haven't been onep that out. Every time. What's new with you guys? All three of you, but especially Marty, haven't been on the show for a long time. I think Johnny's the most recent. You're exactly right.
Starting point is 00:02:55 The last time we came on, I did play... Pipes. Pipes, yeah. Laying the pipe in a way. What? Marty, I think it's been since September, right? Yeah, I don't like doing this. You basically beg me. You're texting me all the time, all hours of the night. I feel like it's my cameras since September, right? Yeah, I don't like doing this. You basically, you beg me, you're texting me all the time, all hours of the night. I feel like it's my cameras going off, my security cameras, and just one is being a
Starting point is 00:03:10 text from you being like, hey, sign up on this sign up sheet. I took a pickup artistry class and they said desperation is the key to any woman's... It should be the new sacks. This is a Head gun podcast should we be posting our our content to the hub that would be crazy we should yeah post the jake and amir live show to the to orange youtube um danny what's new with you i'm out here you know it's really extremely wild uh last night i realized my lease is up one month sooner than i thought it's up you're homeless my lease is up end of may rather than end of june so i mean it's still kind of the same timeline but your boy is scrambling oh my god wait how much more time do you have
Starting point is 00:04:07 two and a half months i mean yeah you're supposed to move to la yeah bro i'm out here yeah this is uh it's gonna be a very stressful we biden is also speeding up everything right so you're it should be safe in two and a half months maybe yeah i don't know maybe maybe the timelines will the stars will align for you. I hope so. Your boy needs to get a vaccine. So, yeah, that's very new. Less than 24 hours. I mean, it's actually a year old.
Starting point is 00:04:31 I just didn't check the damn lease until last night. In Chicago, do leases not go month to month after the end of the year? Because in L.A., I feel like that's what most people do. You probably could technically do it. I mean, if you needed to, we could. It's just, I think the thought of having a little bit more time is always great, but it's also less money, so we'll figure it out. I'm sure you'll find a good spot.
Starting point is 00:04:48 I feel like nobody's moving in LA, so you're probably going to get a deal on a good place, I think. One would hope so. I don't know if Zillow agrees, but... Well, you are looking... We should say you're looking in the Beverly Glen, Bel Air area. Yeah. Inventory is low there.
Starting point is 00:05:02 Price is high. So far from where the new office might be i was talking to somebody recently they said it's a renter's market whatever that meant to them so i don't know it should be okay for you well again it doesn't matter what the market is doing it's always a seller's market um thank you thank you so much johnny burlington new jersey or do you just live near burlington i live, I live in Burlington. Good old Burlington. Are you going to move to New York when things calm down or not?
Starting point is 00:05:29 Absolutely. And I'm willing to move before things calm down. I was willing to move at the peak of everything. I just need to get out of here. The issue being saving cash? No, it's like there's just nothing to do here. And I just want to go to the club, you know? I'm willing to go
Starting point is 00:05:45 to florida if it comes down to it it's kind of no club guy johnny club rat oh i straight up love the club i love the club i could see johnny like in a nice silk button down with like a heineken in his hand just turning up that's a tight i didn't know this about you johnny i'm a wild child of the night i'm a saint in the streets, a freak in the sheets. What are you in the club? Oh, in the club, I'm also... A bartender. Just a bartender.
Starting point is 00:06:15 That Heineken is three quarters empty. And it's in a plastic tray. What's your favorite club, Johnny? Where do you go? Where are you known to go? I don't want to dox you. And I'll bleep it out if you want, but I'd love to know. There's this one club in Brooklyn.
Starting point is 00:06:30 It's called Nowadays. It's basically just like, all they play is like Deep House and like techno. Oh, I just love like going there and just hanging around people who are off like ecstasy. And I'm just like completely sober or whatever. It's nice. it's nice to be around those people they're all so nice bleep that part out i want our company to sound cool no johnny you should know this about me i also like dancing and going to loud music venues i'm willing to like meet you halfway right now if you're willing wyoming saint louis to the west absolutely her. Dayton, Ohio has a great club scene. I mean, what's open in the middle?
Starting point is 00:07:08 I guess everything in the middle of the country is probably open, huh? Probably Kansas City. Strong Kansas City. Get some ribs. Texas, I know, has no masks now. So that's a safe option. Marty, you tried to get into Berghain
Starting point is 00:07:20 and were rejected, right? That's correct. The famous Berlin club. Yeah, that's correct. But you can also bleep that out. It's you doing ADR for me being like, and I got into Berghain. It was really fun.
Starting point is 00:07:32 What was that experience like? It was me and Amir. Jake and Amir must have done a show in Europe somewhere. And typically when they did abroad shows, we would then as a group go on a bit mini vacation afterwards near wherever it was. And this one, I think they did one in the UK and then so we did germany uh afterwards for a week i think jake and his brother were both there but they left early and amir and i stayed longer so one of these nights that it was just
Starting point is 00:07:55 amir and i still there he had gotten recognized on the street by some group of people there so we like kind of merged groups with them and then they were german and spoke german and we're like let's go to bergain after we've been drinking for a while and we were like yeah let's go to bergain it's gonna be funny it's gonna be fun and so we walk up there and typically i guess there's like five hour long lines to get in there was no one in line like i'm telling you there was one group of people of five people in front of us got straight in so we're like walking zigzagging through the ropes right like this long thing that they're always prepped for having lots of people of five people in front of us got straight in so we're like walking zigzagging through the ropes right like this long thing that they're always prepped for having lots of people in front the entire time we're laughing we're cheesing and we get to the front and we split
Starting point is 00:08:33 up into two pairs like it'll be easier to get in two groups obviously they saw us doing this the entire time so it's like no secret of process so like me and this one girl we go up to the front she speaks german and the guy looks straight at me in the eyes straight in the eyes guys i think his name is spanish probably like the most famous bouncer and the guy looks straight at me in the eyes straight in the eyes I think his name is Spanish probably like the most famous bouncer in the world he goes you will not get in tonight
Starting point is 00:08:48 and then I had to walk away that was it that was it and then I'm walking away I'm walking away and then I hear
Starting point is 00:08:58 him repeat the exact same phrase to Amir who's behind me and he walks away and then we just start laughing really really hard and I don't even know I think we went to another club or something that was easier
Starting point is 00:09:07 i was fully rejected and i have no idea what happens in there i've never heard of this what is this a german club is this famous in berlin it's like the most exclusive club in the world uh it's like five stories very secretive no one understands how you get in or how you don't although i have read that if you speak english at all online you don't get in yeah oh we were only speaking english and also you have to wear all black and i was wearing pastel colors like i was wearing a patchwork like pastel shirt that i thought was really cool back in the day and on top of that it was just like it was so obvious that we had been drinking a lot before that and they don't want drunk people
Starting point is 00:09:42 in there because it's it is like it's it's it's an experience that lasts truly a lifetime if you want it to the rumors are that you go in there and that you are there for three days and you don't even know you were there for three days because there's so much going on on all these different floors and different experiences that you can just get swept away for days at a time and it's there's no windows so then you come out and it's three days later and your taxes are due and you're like what the hell happened so every time you go it is april 12th that's right it's three days before taxes are due danny trouble in paradise or how's the marriage after realizing i'm gonna be homeless i have to Our marriage is on the rocks for sure. No, we're straight, bro.
Starting point is 00:10:26 What's up with you? I feel like I listen to this podcast and I get on it. I don't ask you it. Are you a club guy, Jeff? Are you? Damn, Daniel. Back at it again with the white man. Do you know that was the first thing that Jeff ever said to me when I met him?
Starting point is 00:10:45 That line right there was the first. At a job interview? It was a thing that Jake and Amir were saying a lot at the time. And it was like, so Jeff must have heard it in passing. But it was the first thing he ever said to me, I think, when he was in the office. Because you were wearing white vans. Well, that's that too. But you didn't have to do that.
Starting point is 00:10:59 You didn't have to rip it from the meme. I'm doing well. I'm not like a clurb, clurb guy. Like, I won't go to like, you won't cash me at One Oak. i'm not like a clurb clurb guy like i won't go to like you won't cash me at one oak but i do like a dancing bar you know like a dive that has a floor and i'll be floored because i'll have you know well whiskey and a pbr they'll have to give me cpr because i'm like getting down on the floor getting nasty body rolls cinnamon rolls what's your go-to uh like you got you know one of those little jukebox apps and it's like hey jeff go play like two songs what's
Starting point is 00:11:31 your motown fill you up empty bars every time right exactly no i love this because the short stop used to have motown mondays in echo park that was fun it just sucked that it's a monday um but yeah like disco and motown is like my shit because it's fun to dance to are you 58 motown jeff is the oldest 22 year old i know by far 23 year old you had a birthday yeah and you didn't come it was a zoom thing danny was there johnny was there ferris just put a sax i'm to take a walk. All right. I'm sorry I didn't go. I really am. That's a bummer.
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Starting point is 00:15:18 Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. This is the pipe, Danny. This is the pipe from me uh in high school sir from high school sir did you know we we're doing i don't know if i'm supposed to announce this or not but if i'm not supposed to i'll cut it out but we're doing merch for the show and in high school sir is on one of the shirts i need one of those shirts well i'm not in charge of it but marika will send you one thank so much. Marty, now's your time to come up with a catchphrase to be on a shirt.
Starting point is 00:15:47 You're fired. I mean, there's so many. When we used to do those dumb videos in the office all the time, there's so many of those characters. Sleeping with the fishes is one. Waka Waka is probably the most. I don't know if Waka Wakaaka is the one but it's probably up there notoriously my parents being divorced there's probably a shirt there somewhere i don't know marika's good at this stuff at the head gum live in chicago somebody brought a fully printed out
Starting point is 00:16:16 kinko's poster of marty going like this and it's they wanted him to sign it and what yeah what's the catchphrase oh sleeping with the fishes and so marty signed it like that and then took a photo with this like head gum it was literally it was like a three-foot poster it was huge he had rolled up like in his pant leg to sneak it in or something i don't know what it was a billboard he smelled a billboard danny how's how's stan i think i saw on your instagram story you're you're at a show or did a show uh yeah i just did an open mic i have a show next week i guess when this comes out it'll have been two days ago comedy's back holy shit you heard it here first two questions one how was your first show back
Starting point is 00:16:56 like how did it feel and then two was it all new material that you've been writing in quarantine or just kind of like new venues so the same jokes i mean i'm good at comedy so uh the set went fantastic first of all um and most of it was brand sticker yeah forget shirts division one athletes don't fail sir yeah exactly you got two d1 oh Oh, by the way. Oh, my God. A little props from the left-hand side of the screen, please. We have two Division I athletes on the line. I want Danny to show up to the head goal LA office the first day it opens and just go like this. With the waist up.
Starting point is 00:17:36 Spitting the water out. With the other WWE. That's the O. Yes. Triple H. Yeah, you clearly just got out of the shower. Why is your face wet, Danny? Oh, it'll be so nice to have an office again, huh?
Starting point is 00:17:51 Yeah, so Danny was a Division I athlete in college. What? What's that? You can say both our names. Danny, you were track and field, right? No, football. Football. That's what I meant to say.
Starting point is 00:18:01 No, it's not. That's a real sport. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Football's a real sport. Football's, that's what i meant to say no it's not that's a real sport that's true yeah yeah football is a real sport football is that's d1 if you're d1 football that means you have some fucking talent that means scouts wanted you i mean there's a lot there's a lot of d1 sports they're all equally as hard to to do oh like basketball for sure sure that's another one baseball to a certain extent yeah sure yeah like track track and field uh cross country
Starting point is 00:18:23 indoor track uh what are you talking about damn it johnny that's funny just cut it out no but so danny is it mostly new material like have you been writing during quarantine or not uh just started while i was doing a show during the summer in the park parallel park chicago very fire um and that i stopped that in october when corona came back and then um really wasn't writing up until maybe a couple weeks ago started you gotta with stand-up you have to like experience stuff and all i'm experiencing is dog walks and zoom calls so it's like i don't know but i'm back i feel like i'm outside a little
Starting point is 00:19:06 bit more well let's do this let's uh i mean and i don't want to put you on the spot here but like come up with a bit that's definitely putting him on the spot but also how so what do you mean you're asking him to do a bit danny's good at comedy marty no i believe that from the fucking yeah from one division one athlete to another i understand that we're perfect like when we do something we do it well. That's what makes us champions. Did you realize that you were a champion in their eyes? Did you ever win a championship, Mark?
Starting point is 00:19:34 Not me personally, but I mean, that's what makes champions. We have the makeup of championships. Don't take a side in this, David. Of what it takes to be a champion. You're a D1 athlete. You should be put on the pedestal. Marty sort of ran errands he was a courier i was i was doing uber on the track take this baton real quick johnny what's wrong you look like you just got scammed i'm actually having the time of my life but uh uh speaking of scams i did my taxes with a cpa for the first time ever it made me feel like an
Starting point is 00:20:07 adult but uh i realized that since right now as it stands i don't owe anything to the federal government but my friends are starting to tell me that they owe to the federal government so now i'm thinking that the irs is going to knock down my door any minute now and basically audit you yeah yeah audit me so now i'm really nervous about that have you made money this year oh absolutely you owe money to the government i definitely do no you've been paying that money so if on a regular basis you don't owe anything more if you've been paying your taxes correctly all year you know what i learned i learned that it's not good to owe money like like getting tax returns i'm sorry not oh but getting a tax return isn't necessarily a good thing like it's right you should want a little amount of a
Starting point is 00:20:55 return as possible you want no return because that means that you kept more of your money invested that money not spent it on like i don't know that money not spent it on like i don't know welcome to executive decisions welcome to executive decisions marty you are the c the ceo of head gum right co-founder ceo yeah i think there's a certain responsibility that comes with being a ceo if i'm not mistaken there's a lot what's that there's a lot of responsibility okay that's only yeah okay you're only proving my point further the the position requires restraint i don't like where this is going it requires patience sure and to a lesser degree talent luckily what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna run you through a couple scenarios marty and you just say how you would go about making an executive decision because as an executive every decision you make is executive and i think
Starting point is 00:22:01 danny would not only back me up but he would like, like, say it for me. So, Danny? Yeah, I mean, you're the, yeah, I agree. Sorry, I wasn't listening. You started talking, I completely stopped listening. Sorry. All right, so here we go. It's not even a game. It's just talking points.
Starting point is 00:22:23 And Johnny, Danny, feel free to chime in with with what you would do if you were the ceo of the company but marty this i made this whole thing for you all right you catch johnny sneaking into the office for a late night romp what's your executive decision what do you mean what's a romp johnny can you fill him in tell him what you're gonna do yeah a romp is an encounter of the variety that is sexual nice johnny you can't do that so the decision is just scold him i didn't did i just scold johnny i just asked him not to do it i don't know it sounded pretty out of line johnny and i also don't work in the same office. Okay, so in this scenario
Starting point is 00:23:07 he's visiting for like the anniversary party or something. I don't know. It just feels like a weird scenario. I don't know why. Seems far-fetched. Forget it. Forget it. Alright, you hear from a colleague that Danny's leaking insider information to Forever Dog. That's part of our Trojan horse idea.
Starting point is 00:23:23 I applaud him. Prom him promote him remove you from the equation and all of a sudden you're working at forever dog danny the dumb ass coming 2022 danny i can't wait to do sketches with your ass if you'll have you for the for the company you don't have to like come over which i know is your nightmare scenario yeah i won't come up yeah definitely what if we're like what if we end up living really close like what if you end up living in echo park there's zero chance i'll ever let you know where i live if there's one thing he's learned from this radio show it's that you leak you're the leak right leaking the private sensitive information to the masses all right all right in fact you're the one that romped in the office too these are all just scenarios you want to know
Starting point is 00:24:09 you can get away with you've made your point here we go i gotta before we move on we're still playing executive decisions i just need to let you guys know harry styles current address you're googling it no i have it i just need to pull up the doc. What do you mean? You have a doc of this? What? You said you're pulling up a doc. What doc? Talk amongst yourselves. I don't know why it always has to flow through me.
Starting point is 00:24:31 You're the host of the show, and you just said something. In fact, you made us wait for the information. So, yeah, we're asking about it. Ferris cut this out. Ferris cut this whole thing out. Ferris, keep this in. Executive decision. Executive.
Starting point is 00:24:41 Oh, shit. it's in laurel canyon i don't know what else to say dan you want me to move not close to him or what's this that would be great i think that laurel canyon would serve you well because not only is it conducive to creativity like comedy which you're already good at so the canyon's only gonna fucking amplify that talent man but uh i can't help but feel like you olivia wild olivia coleman and harry styles might be a quarantine pod with jamal obviously thank you it's incredible how much you talk about other neighborhoods besides the one you live in as them all being the best and you and by the way you moved 13 times since I've known you, never to any of these neighborhoods. Well, Laurel Canyon is prohibitively expensive,
Starting point is 00:25:32 even compared to where you and I live. All right, we're back to executive decisions. Pyle wants to take HeadGum public, but Marty, you're sort of pissed at him for not coming to your birthday. I still am. That was years ago. This was like a new scenario, because I thought you would have moved on from 2017 but yeah so what do you do what's the executive decision do you block his move do you or do you kind of make the
Starting point is 00:25:54 financially smart i have another birthday party i gave him another opportunity does he show up if he wants this bish to go public he'll be at my b-day bish and he'll bring something nice you're so small i'm six foot two inches but you're six three i carry myself well i meant metaphysically how tall are you jeff i'm six one really no you're not you show you seem shorter yeah you're you're definitely shorter and you carry yourself shorter than that too yeah danny's never seen me standing is the issue yeah but i'm always huddled over in a closet. You don't have to know that you're a short guy. It's backfired.
Starting point is 00:26:30 The HeadGum six year anniversary party it turns out to be possible to have. Sorry? August? The HeadGum six year anniversary party turns out to be possible this year but only if you can't go Marty. What's the executive decision? No party. That's easy. That's the executive decision? No party.
Starting point is 00:26:45 That's easy. That's what I was worried about, yeah. There is no party without Marty. It's that simple. Johnny and Danny, what about you guys? So, like, basically, this wouldn't be an executive decision, but just, like, there's some fucked up scenario. The party's only possible if you don't show up. What would you guys do?
Starting point is 00:27:01 In past lives, partying or not partying with coworkers is a pretty fantastic idea so i wouldn't i don't know what i'm missing i guess i'll put it like that johnny uh i felt like a little betrayed uh because i don't know i kind of dedicated uh my 40 hours of every week to helping out this company and helping it grow. So to not be invited feels like a low blow. And I think from that point, I would move to Forever Dog. That makes sense.
Starting point is 00:27:32 How much does that show... Do we talk about them on every episode? What's going on with this show? This is the first time we've mentioned Forever Dog. Usually Earwolf is the butt of the joke. The target? Yeah. They're too corporate now.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Danny, the parties are fun. You'll enjoy it but you can't go um all right what about this oj simpson approaches the network about doing a show what's the executive decision uh it would do numbers but he i think does he have does he not have a podcast uh i don't think he does he has an ankle bracelet he has a back he has a vaccine an ankle bracelet in the vaccine i think he i think he qualified. He has an ankle bracelet. He has a vaccine. An ankle bracelet and a vaccine. I think he qualified it because even though he's only under house arrest, he's still technically in prison. Is he under house arrest even?
Starting point is 00:28:13 Yeah. He's like in a really cushy mansion somewhere in LA. That's kind of tight, I guess. Yeah, I mean, we're all kind of under house arrest to a certain extent. It's nice. What's the executive decision, Marty? You're the CEO. You chose to be in this position. You have to make these tough decisions we're about
Starting point is 00:28:27 elevating voices that we care about this isn't a voice that i care about maybe wow you i care about his voice johnny once you get enough experience once you're forever dog you're the executive over there you can start making some decisions all right um you hire an 18 year old dumbass to make little comedy shorts and he just sort of never leaves. What's the executive decision? Oh my God. Give him a podcast
Starting point is 00:28:49 called The HeadGum Podcast, I guess. I don't make all these decisions, right? We have creative people that do that, so. This has been Executive Decisions. Did you really start with us when you were 18 years old?
Starting point is 00:29:07 Yeah, I was 18. Oh my god. That's so young. I didn't think it's been five years. That's insane. It's far too long. How have you made it this long? How have you made it this long?
Starting point is 00:29:33 You come here often? You shouldn't be here anymore. What's your name? You want something to drink? Johnny approaches with a tray of full bottles of Cristal. Is that Motown? This is the price of right. You guys know the price is right?
Starting point is 00:29:58 Yes. Yeah. Really? It's not some esoteric show. This is one of the most popular game shows. This is like The Price is Right, but it's The Price of Right. W-R-I-G-H-T.
Starting point is 00:30:10 So, what I'm going to do is I'm going to list some brothers. I'm going to list celebrities right. And you're going to guess their net worth, Danny. Everybody. I don't know why I just pointed that out. It's because Danny's good at it.
Starting point is 00:30:26 All right. Bonnie Wright. All right. First of all, I am probably the worst person to ask about random rich white people. I don't know who these people are, to be completely honest with you. I don't know who it is. This person played Ginny Weasley in Harry Potter. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:43 Got it. Okay. I say a strong Before you answer, we should say that this is all for cash. This is $20 for every right answer. $20 is owed to me for every wrong answer. A strong $7 million.
Starting point is 00:30:58 You owe me $20. What's the number? I'll answer. I'll say $600,000. What do you think this is, Johnny? You think Ginny Weasley only has six figures? You're shitting yourself if Bonnie doesn't at least have a couple figures. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:31:15 Seven to eight. I'm sorry. Marty. Thoughts? How many Harry Potter movies are there? There's a lot. There's like eight. There's eight movies?
Starting point is 00:31:24 Mm-hmm. Damn. Keep in mind, she was only in, I think, six of them. Oh, that changes everything. Yeah. Eleven and a half. That's correct! How the fuck did you get that?
Starting point is 00:31:41 You know my Instagram. You're always requesting dollars. This time, just send them wow all right uh johnny and danny owe me 20 i owe 20 to marty this is unbelievable here we go robin right can you give all right i need context for all of these random i already told you i don't know their names she played the wife in fucking House of Cards. Another show I don't watch. How many seasons of House of Cards?
Starting point is 00:32:12 Is that the show with Kevin Spacey, right? She's in a lot more stuff than just what you're talking about. Marty seems to know how this game should go. I'm on a hot lead. I'll give you all a hint. It's higher than what you think it probably is. 30 million? I really have no context.
Starting point is 00:32:28 I have to phone a friend. That's incorrect, Danny. I'm so sorry. I hate this show. All right, I'll aim really high. Let's say... $950,000. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:32:44 Oh my god. $2,000 cash. Liquid. Could you imagine if I had that at the clerk? People, they'd respect me. USD. That was funny as shit. All right, Johnny, your actual answer?
Starting point is 00:33:13 Okay, I was going to say $450 million. Not that high. Oh, my God. She's an actor. You said it was higher than I thought. I didn't know what you thought. I was thinking $300 million. Now you owe me $40 for this wrong answer.
Starting point is 00:33:26 Marty? $24.7 million. This is unbelievable. It was $25, but I'll give it to you. Marty's two for two. Here we go. The Wright brothers. Now keep in mind, this is adjusted for inflation.
Starting point is 00:33:39 Oh, God. Keep in mind, they were ahead of their time. Did they end up commercializing planes or did they just start planes? I'll give them a strong, in today's dollars, $300 million. That's nowhere near. Is it a B? Is it a Billy? Did they get a Billy off of it? I mean, planes are important.
Starting point is 00:33:58 No. They didn't invent commercial planes. You're recording this from a plane. Marty, let's make Johnny go last this time. I feel like this is an attack on me. I'm trying to give you more information. You know what? This is an interesting one.
Starting point is 00:34:13 I really do like the Wright brothers. I don't know. Nobody was an inventor back then unless you had the capital to do it. So they were already probably rich. Didn't need the plane to be rich, but they just did it anyway. I'm going gonna go with um 47.8 billion did you say billion well you cut me off so now we'll never know it was nowhere near either of the numbers johnny is it way lower than both the answers i can't give you a solicited
Starting point is 00:34:40 hint i feel like i'm embarrassing myself even further by answering these questions. Correct. I'll say 10.5 million. That's unbelievably close. It was $10.3 million adjusted for inflation. I'm back, baby. Let's go. Johnny fucking redeems himself. And his name is John Cena!
Starting point is 00:35:04 All right. I thought you couldn't use copyrighted music. It's so short and no one's going to. Yeah. What do you know about being short? Nothing because I'm 6'1", Danny. Bruh. We can still work together if you're a strong 5'9".
Starting point is 00:35:19 That's cool. Gary Wright, singer of Dreamweaver. What's his net worth? When did this come out? 1975. Gary Wright, singer of Dreamweaver. What's his net worth? When did this come out? 1975. I feel like the music business was kind of fucked up back in the day. So maybe, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:35 I'm still thinking like maybe 20. I'm so sorry, Danny. You're down $80. This just wasn't your game, Danny. I'm not paying you a fucking penny. Press the wrong button, but we'll live with it you love tiktok right jeff what's that you love tiktok not to change gears i'm just asking you a question it seems like this uh this pornhub thing is like kind of a meme oh there he goes he left he's completely left the frame tiktok's great yeah but i'm asking you this pornhub thing is like kind of a meme thing right now so you're just kind of not even really doing your own comedy you're
Starting point is 00:36:08 just pulling other people's bits or what's the deal here yeah i mean i what i'll do is i'll get a whole basically like people will be at largo right in los angeles doing stand-up sets and like they'll be without their book so i'll see it in the green room right and i'll just nab it i'll grab their notebook and just take the ideas and two weeks later that's a head gum sketch three weeks later that's a fucking pilot yeah what is comedy if not stealing carlos mancia uh i also feel i feel bad about uh anyone who's listening to this episode was like on speakers in the home and they're like with somebody else and you know all these random porn hub like intro videos come on it's like i swear honey i swear it's just the head gum podcast you gotta hear this
Starting point is 00:36:45 shit they're so funny high school they're like doing like work from home or school from home and mom hears them here's the an executive decision as a future parent if any of you guys want to have kids you hear the porn hub sound like in the living room or your kid's bedroom do you pop in and be like hey what are you doing or do you just kind of like because that admits to them that you watch porn hub i sit down and walk them through the video gary wright networth what do we think let's just breeze through this shit i'm rattled by the uh that comment um i don't know what i already guessed so y'all are up. I would say, well, from what I remember, there's a lot of musicians in the 70s and 80s who got kind of dicked over by their labels in terms of monetary compensation.
Starting point is 00:37:33 So I'd say... That's every decade, every label, every musician. Really? So the problem hasn't stopped? People come to this show for hot takes, man. Wow. I'm anti-label. Pro-famous on Broadway, Joe Namath.
Starting point is 00:37:46 Nice. Dream Weaver. I would say 2.7 million. You've only guessed in the several hundred millions and in the low six digits. That was a good guess though, Johnny. I liked it. But the actual answer is $3.89 million. I'm cleaning house today.
Starting point is 00:38:07 It was $10 million. How much is it? $10 million. Where are you finding? Which site are you using? Because I feel like that one's inaccurate. Celebritynetworth.com.
Starting point is 00:38:14 That's pretty accurate usually. EZE. He's dead. It's not a Wright brother. His real name is Eric Wright. And yes, he, RIP,
Starting point is 00:38:22 but at the time of his death, what was his network? Well, because you said the Wright brothers plus inflation. You didn't say anything about them. Yeah. Cause that's a century.
Starting point is 00:38:27 This is only like 20 years. I mean, I think he also had issues with labels. I would say a million. What is this show? Johnny, go on. Because I guessed solo last time. I'm going to say. Don't do it.
Starting point is 00:38:42 $14. That's my final answer yeah what's his real name what's easy his real name eric right that's a cool name say 15 mil dude was worth a quarter bill eight million all right uh frank lloyd wright adjusted for inflation who's that architect i didn't know that that's one older white guy i do know big big chicago influence i don't know i mean real estate is booming it's always been booming the houses are tight i think you're gonna get this one i don't know bro i feel like he had a like smooth like 100 100 m's this is the stupidest show I've ever done in my life. Let's play a different game.
Starting point is 00:39:27 This game sucks. 24.3. That's correct. He didn't even finish. It was 24. This is bullshit. As long as it's 24, I've been giving leeway of 500,000 here. All right, last one.
Starting point is 00:39:41 Roan. The Barstool correspondent? Drag him, Johnny. Drag him. No, Roan was the gnome de plume of Tyrone Wright, street artist from Melbourne. What? What don't you get? I just fucking spelled it out. Roan was the gnome de plume of ty tyrone right what
Starting point is 00:40:06 does any of that mean roan come on jeff yeah did you put tobacco in that pipe in high school what were you were you smoking a naked pipe or was there at least shit there was loose leaf tobacco okay would you light it or would you just you just did it for smell or what i would light it i would i wouldn't inhale so it's for the or what? I would light it. I would, I wouldn't inhale. So it was for the taste. So where were you at with this? Like it was a big ass pipe in your pocket. Like where would you bring it out?
Starting point is 00:40:32 This would have been, yeah, this would have been in a garage. In a garage? What? What do you mean? Other kids are just like doing like cool drugs and stuff. You're like, oh, let me situate and pack and prepare my pipe. And by the time you pack it in, it's like everyone's already high. Gone, actually.
Starting point is 00:40:47 I actually really appreciate the assumption that there were others present. Sneaking from your friends to go smoke a pipe. It was me behind a Subaru Forester, absolutely alone, not only physically, but also kind of spiritually. Stressed out about pre-algebra or something yeah yeah everything i took was pre right i never got to the real shit fine i'll give you guys all a freebie roan's net worth was a million dollars that was a straight m thanks for the freebie the slate's clean you guys don't owe me any any money but i am like disappointed in all you owe me money i got a lot of them right you got two right you got two right you got six wrong so you owe me 80 no i
Starting point is 00:41:28 hey so what are you doing after this part of town are you from i can barely hear you dude but i love what you got there yeah my roommate he's actually out of town love your style did you drive okay i didn't man i don't drink and drive sick sick uh i love this club holy shit is that roan yeah come here often roan has a table where's the bathroom at you gonna smoke that pipe plugs let's go down the line marty johnny danny in that order what do you have going on tell the people about it point them to whatever you want or not uh point them towards what sorry i wasn't prepared for this segment that we're doing executive or not still or what are we doing no i'm forget it johnny what do you have to point the people to social media anything you want to
Starting point is 00:42:27 plug uh something i want to plug is something that i've been working on with my friends for quite some time it's a board game uh it's called crisis in space uh so in the game you venture out into the last frontier with a few of your friends and solve crises like hostile aliens or space viruses. So it's been refined and playtested for a few years, and we're going to launch a Kickstarter soon. But you can follow us at crisis underscore games on Instagram or visit our site at crisisinspace.com. I'll be running the content for the pre-campaign.
Starting point is 00:43:04 So yeah, this is gonna be a grand old time it's a cool thing like i i i want to play the game but the way you just plugged it was so flawless earnest and also yeah rehearsed it has to be rehearsed because i literally if i stumble on the words and i feel like my friends are going to berate me incessantly. Got it. This means a lot to them and me. This is a part of the press run. I feel you.
Starting point is 00:43:30 Oh, absolutely. We'll link it in the description then. Let me know about the Kickstarter link. Yeah, for sure. Danny? Shout out to HeadGumGumball. If you know anybody who wants to join Gumball, decent size show, come and sign up or hit me up.
Starting point is 00:43:45 Follow me. Follow Sellers on all social media. Comedy is back in Chicago, baby. So all kind of cool stuff. I'll be producing and are performing on here very, very soon. Pop-up TV? Yeah. The pop-up TV every other Friday.
Starting point is 00:44:02 If you like sneakers and jokes or just like hear my voice sometimes I'm also on that I've never met a lazy person named Willie that was really good thank you thank you what about you Jeff what are you plugging what do you got going on I haven't seen you in years on twitter at Jeffrey James on Instagram
Starting point is 00:44:20 review review why'd you change your twitter handle to that before it was at don't Play No James, which I really didn't like. And I set up when I was a freshman. Actually, before my freshman year of college, because we needed to start a Twitter account for
Starting point is 00:44:36 a class. And I thought that was clever. So you changed it to a SpaghettiOs reference? I think that's way funnier. It's not. Damn, Daniel! You're actually concerned about it. Wow. Yeah. I, uh, I'm gonna go check out BetterHelp.
Starting point is 00:44:51 Don't forget to use one of our coupon codes. Actually, does ReviewReview have it? Yeah, BetterHelp.com forward slash what's that? It sponsors this show. Anyway, thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of the HeadGum podcast. Shout out Johnny, Danny, and Marty for joining us this episode. hopefully we'll be able to do one in person someday um and we'll see you guys again next week catch you on the flip
Starting point is 00:45:12 diesel That was a Hidgum Original.

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