The Headgum Podcast - 45: The Audit Pt. 3 (w/ Reilly Anspaugh & Georges Saba!)
Episode Date: April 9, 2021Geoff's close friends Reilly Anspaugh and Georges Saba join Marika to continue the official audit of Geoff as the host of The Headgum Podcast, as Amir takes a sabbatical from the show.Follow ...Reilly & Georges:Twitter: @reilecoyote, @georgessabaIG: @reillyanspaugh, @secretgeorgessabaAdvertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
Previously on the HeadGum Podcast.
I feel like none of my farts have gotten into any of these past episodes.
And there was a couple SBD ones, some really, really silent farts that I think you removed.
Just because you know, you know me when I'm tooting.
And you're taking out the tiniest little bit of air.
And I appreciate that.
I've got this preset.
It's called Jake Farts.
It just sort of, it just scans over your audio track.
Yeah.
Sometimes you need to get room tone.
You got to get room tone because I'm just farting nonstop.
And you have to remove that after the fact.
Yeah.
So I'll take a fart.
I'll take a fart sample, in fact, and I'll tell Adobe Audition to remove everything that
sounds like that.
And a lot
of your breaths are gone too because
of that because they also smell like shit
hey any
stinky gas that comes out
of your mouth or ass will just sort
of disappear they shouldn't be that way by the way this isn't
like you're making more work for Ferris like he's
being nice about it but like he had to take room tone
like you shouldn't have to take room tone for a podcast
I have a gastrointestinal disorder okay what's it called
farsation it's like rosacea but yeah
so that's when my farts are a rash Welcome to another edition of the HeadGum Podcast, Audit Edition.
I don't really know what else to say. I mean, we're three weeks into this thing.
My confidence has been broken down brick by brick, so I don't want to dilly dally. I'm
just going to get into it. I've brought on two of my closest friends, two people who know me
better than anyone else in the world who only have my best interests at heart and Marika.
And the idea here is to kind of get a personal touch on it. So please welcome to the show,
Peter George Saba, Riley Marie Judanspa, and yeah, Brownlee Struthers.
Thank you for having us. It's been a minute.
Both of you haven't been on since October, September-ish.
I've never been on with Riley before, which is very exciting.
I'm so happy to be here with Marika and George.
You've also never been on with me.
Well, George, Riley, I filled you in a little bit, but basically what happened was three weeks ago, Amir Blumenfeld chewed me out publicly on an all-hands company Zoom meeting.
He called me a dork ass.
He said I was Johnny Bravo if he fell asleep in a tanning bed.
He said I was a poor man's Jake Johnson, but not as a compliment.
And he also said that I looked like a hieroglyph
when I stand up straight
and that was just like that's scratching the surface
there are other things that I can't even air
and that's coming from me someone who likes to say
people's personal address like George
you live in
yeah and we live together
so you ducked yourself
I think that should
be kept in Ferris.
But it's against
your interests.
Well look I'm strong.
I can protect myself.
I've been getting
weaker and weaker as
the year goes on.
I guess the first
thing I think of when
someone's like has
someone's address from
the Internet I don't
think of them like
immediately going to
fight the person in
the house.
I think of like
they're probably going
to do some other
things.
Maybe don't rely on your strength.
Well, but also we're talking about Jeff.
So they might fight Jeff.
George, I think is probably fine.
They might drop off a gift or like a basket.
Yeah, basket.
That would be really nice.
Actually, definitely drop George off a gift basket.
So they'll drop it off at the front and then go around back.
Beat your ass.
Shit out of me, yeah.
But yeah, so the lessons I've learned so far.
I've tried to keep my ears open and my eyes wide in an innocent way.
And we had Zach Dunn on.
A friend of George and I's.
A couple weeks ago.
He taught me a lesson that I need to.
Instead of looking at a mirror and placing all the blame there.
I need to take that blame and place it on the mirror.
Look inwards.
Be self-reflective.
And then last week we had Melanie Br bracewell on the show and her main critique was that a lot of the game segments which
is why we had her on because she's been on panel shows and this has kind of become a panel show
is a lot of the segments are samey and that's what she said and then again what does that mean
what's that sorry i've been trying not What does it mean to be samey?
Samey, like they're all a little too similar.
Yeah, but she said it samey, which was like cute and a nice way of saying it.
She probably said it like samey, like that, like samey.
Yeah, that was pretty good.
So she complained that a lot of the segments are, you know,
games where you only have two options, where it's either this or that.
And wait, let me look back at my notes for today uh we might have a little bit of that but it's not both well i mean
listen jeff like that's all well and good and i'm really glad that you're taking it seems like you're
taking that to heart but um it's great i think it's really important that you brought george and
i on because it's like we're not here to talk about the games we're not here to talk about the
structure we're here to talk about you right it's like we're not here to talk about the games. We're not here to talk about the structure. We're here to talk about you, right?
It's like we're like character witnesses in a way.
And so it's like I'm glad that like we have today
to really dive in deep to the man in the mirror,
to Jeffrey Aaron James.
Yeah.
And like really kind of like see what's going on.
And you guys know me like outside the show, you know,
because sometimes I think people think that I'm some kind of maniac maniac some kind of free-for-all daredevil type and evil
and eddie haskell type no one thinks you're that no one thinks i'm eddie haskell definitely not
but you guys know that i'm a chill dude dude like i'm i can hang george yeah you can hang
like you're cool you're a good friend of mine.
One of my best friends.
Sorry, I'm just going to like, Amir, if you're listening, that's a pretty good endorsement.
It was tepid at best.
I mean, I don't have a great judge of character.
And I'll cut that out because that doesn't make the cause.
I'll just say it again.
I don't have a great judge of character.
And that one, I can't cut it out twice.
George did just say he does not have a great judge of character. And that one, I can't cut it out twice. George did just say he does not have a great judge of character.
Yeah.
And then that's two different tracks that that audio is going to be on.
It's going to be a pain to get rid of it now.
From now on, let's treat this as a normal episode.
We'll wax.
We'll get to know each other even more.
We'll play some games.
There will be some cash prizes.
Really?
What's that?
There's going to be cash prizes?
Yeah.
So we give out real money on this show now.
Oh my god, it's so different from when I last came on.
We found our stride, I think, in November.
And so that's coming out of your pocket.
You're directly paying people for these games.
His Venmo.
That's amazing!
He paid Kayla Perrin $1,300 recently.
Oh my god!
Jeff, that's almost all of your
stimmy. Yeah, well, I had to
get it back. I
groveled and I actually had to make a back
room deal with Caleb
to... To get the money back that you
gave him? Yeah, because it was prize money, but
then I realized I couldn't afford rent.
So I had to call him and I
said, hey, I really need this money back.
He said, what's in it for me? Sorry, I just take it slow. I just, hey, I really need this money back.
He said, what's in it for me? Sorry, I just need to write a couple things down
to send to Amir.
What did you write down?
Sorry, what did Caleb say?
What did you say to Caleb?
I begged Caleb and he said, what's in it for me?
Which I thought was kind of messed up
because it was my money.
I basically made a backroom deal with him
to encourage Marty and Amir to make the new HeadGum studio
as close to their neighborhood as possible.
Wait, sorry, you made the,
oh, close to Caleb's neighborhood.
I thought it was close to Marty and Amir's neighborhood.
I was like, what does Caleb stand to gain?
What a bizarre leveraging move.
How even is this a backroom deal?
Caleb really cares about their mileage,
about their carbon footprint.
He wants to make sure that they're getting to work in a good way.
He wants to make sure that they as CEOs lower their carbon impact.
Caleb always has the CEO's interest at heart.
Yeah.
And you'll go on record saying that?
I will lock it in.
Do not cut that out, Ferris.
But anyway, let's get into it.
Enough about the intro.
You guys know what's going on.
We're being audited.
You guys are my close friends.
So any positive feedback that you have is great.
Positive reinforcement because my confidence is at an all time low.
But I also will take constructive notes.
Is now a good time to talk about Review Review, like how you are there?
Or is this just a HeadGum podcast thing?
I think it would be a great time to talk about Review Review also.
Because I feel like it's got to bleed in like they both have i mean it's like we've never had this kind of like
platform to be able like or i've never i've never had an in to be like oh my god now i can finally
give him all of the feedback that he's been needing you know i think this is the perfect
place for almost fear that it'll be the tipping point. I almost fear that that might
put me over the edge. You almost
fear it? No, because I don't know, because it
might be all positive to me
and ideally it's that. Here's the thing, is the feedback
is not just from me, and I wish it
was, but it's like, it's from
every guest we've had on,
it's from every listener.
Gall wrote, I would say, an essay
to Riley. Yeah, he really did really did oh my god it was so
well written too which is like he's just the best daniel has been running his fucking mouth about it
sorry let's go that far but it's like he i can't stop him yeah yeah i get that that's um but we
don't have to do that right now we don't actually let's know let's go on we can do this later
there's nothing better than being told that hey let's talk later and then not doing it right now.
So let's get into it.
And then we can maybe.
Yeah.
Now I'm uncomfortable.
Yeah.
Let's focus on just doing this show.
And then at any point in the show, Riley, if you want to just like jut in and be like, actually, that's, you know, if that reminds you of something that a guest said or that you know that you have from the other show, just let me know.
And then, yeah, just an overall thing.
Just any time that you feel like you need to butt in with positive feedback, negative
feedback, constructive feedback, just say stop.
Just yell stop.
And then that's like your chance to end like, you know, insert commentary.
And then we'll say podcast proceed.
Jeffrey, can I jump in right now?
Yeah.
George, you got to say he got to do it.
You got to yell stop.
Stop.
Well, I didn't know we'd started yet.
We've started.
We're started now.
And there you go.
And stop.
So fast.
But yeah.
Well, I just want to say all this lead up.
I think you're actually doing a really good job.
And if anything, Marika and Riley are antagonizing you because I think they are braced for you to do something awful,
which is fair. History has shown that. But I think in spite of that, you're actually doing
a good job conducting this train and you've only yelled, what's that? Maybe once and then
you called yourself out on it twice. I think this is real. I think you're doing a good job. I think,
I mean, granted, the inciting incident for this whole thing happened three weeks ago and And I'm like, oh, you think you'd be over and maybe zero podcasts.
There it is.
There it is.
But I think you're doing a good job.
Podcast person.
Stop!
Sorry, stop!
You know, that actually reminds me, you know, George saying that, like, all that's true, George.
I think, Jeff, like, in the face of everything, really, uh, you're taking a good lead on it.
In the face of adversity, I shine.
Yeah.
That being, you know, that little point George brought up of like, oh, this happened three
weeks ago.
Like you're really still holding onto it.
Like you can't shake it.
Like that actually bleeds.
I want to say that bleeds into the other show.
And that is just like, you can't seem to let anything go.
Like we like, even like, oh my God, when Finn and Billy were on and like, they, like I was
having such a good time with them it's like we've had them on
multiple times well that's the thing
is like even in our episode with Lamorne
and Billy you brought it up
and we cut that out but you were like sorry
Finn is just like god could you believe
that fucking guy it sticks with me it builds yeah
and you gotta like let it go thank you George
for bringing that up all good points Jeff
you can't let anything go to save your
life alright is that it?
Yeah, I have nothing to add.
Well,
onward,
right? I'm shaky
emotionally, but we'll move on.
Disney Pixar is onward.
Anyway, Disney Pixar is onward.
Stop. Yeah.
So, Jeff, you keep doing
this thing. It's great. it's vulnerable where you sort of share
how kind of sad you are and then you laugh it off almost immediately um and i think it's losing
its charm i think it's lost mileage on it i think if you have grievances to air you should do it and
you shouldn't just take these bullets like a little human voodoo doll i think you should like i don't know either open up or maybe like save it for later off the pod
rather than these little snippets that spark concern in us and it's like hey we should explore
that um but then sort of band-aid to get with joy to add to that not even just the laughing it off
things but like maybe we'll find later on that we'll be
talking we'll be have the three of us will be having a great time and Jeff will just be sitting
there with some sort of face on not engaging uh looking sad looking like he has no way to jump in
maybe with a prop yeah it's hard he might be holding a pipe he'll definitely be holding a
pipe sometimes the
conversation gets away from me and i just don't know how to relate relatability was another note
from zach dunn um trying to find ways of human connection because that's what podcasting is all
about is it's storytelling and uh sometimes i don't have anything to add and then that makes me sad
which takes away from being glad i think if it makes you sad the thing is that you
just don't show it don't show it on your face don't say it okay so so don't emote as much
yeah because we see it we're talking we're having fun and then we look to your corner and you're
just scowling yeah you're like we can't tell if maybe you're about to cry it's very jarring and upsetting to us and
then we have to say something about it yeah and then that's not good for the listeners and it's
interesting you say look to your corner because sometimes like sometimes i look to my corner and
it doesn't feel like anyone's in it you know and to george's point it's like i get that i've built
a reputation for myself of being pipes in your hand right I see the pipe in your hand so already like you you did bring up like oh this is something that makes me feel vulnerable
no one's in my corner and now you have the pipe in your mouth so you're actually not gonna fall
well you don't I don't think that's not true Ellen you don't fully get it you're not gonna
fully engage because you're like now you're just kind of like a prop comic you're devolving you're
devolving into prop comedy and so you don't actually have anything to put on the table you rhyme and you hold a pipe you you i just want to point back to
like maybe 45 seconds ago you're like oh it makes me sad and then i'm not glad or whatever the fuck
you said you would do a rhyme and then you put a pipe in your mouth and then that you're like oh
but there's no but we're just kind of all left like what are we supposed to do to that then that
then the conversation becomes about the pipe and so then oh are we we have to stop our whole conversation
just to make you feel like a big man oh big man with big pipe in a closet right sorry podcast
proceed that i just had to throw that little that those two cents in there as well because
that was some great feedback marika thank you so what is going on with you guys?
I've started making wine at home.
You're making wine?
I'm making wine, like right in my living room.
That's insane.
Yeah, just like I bought a bunch of fruits at Costco, me and our friend Sarah Linden.
We bought a bucket from Lowe's, a food safe bucket.
I watched one YouTube video
and basically we're on day
two of the first ferment
so we're going to see if I can make wine
my dad makes
wine in that same way I assume
because I know that he's got
buckets of fruit that sit
somewhere so you're probably
on a good path. Has it turned out well?
I mean he brings it to family
gatherings and to chef events i don't think he sells it but he's he's sharing it around it's
definitely drinkable at the very least uh i might have to reach out to your dad with some
i truly i keep having anxiety dreams about the
wine because I have to stir it a lot
and I'm like oh like I'll wake up like
I didn't stir it enough today
what kind of fruits
what kind of fruit like what kind of blend
blueberries raspberries and grapes
raspberry wine yeah so they
said to cut it with fruit because
unless you have like really like natural grapes
and I was like we just got these from
so it's still vino it's just you have to like um cut it with the sour yeah i mean it's
like you know it's fermented fruit drink my dad makes peach wine and like blueberry wine
that's what he's using a lot how many weeks do you have to ferment it because i used to make beer
in college and i know that it was like a six to eight week thing.
And that's a good question.
I'll have to ask Marika's dad because the one video I'm basing all of this off of,
he doesn't say how long it takes.
And I've tried Googling it and it's kind of unclear.
Are you just going to like taste as you go?
Well, I know like as soon as this first ferment starts bubbling i do
what's called racking the wine where i put it into uh bottles and it does like it's slow oxidation
and then at that point i guess i just blindly taste it until it becomes like not vinegar
i'm really going blind and the wine will make you go blind yeah you're just drinking vinegar
and hoping it'll taste wine well speaking of going blind I like so the big part of my concern is like
I don't want it to mold over because you know I've put in like 89 bucks into this whole endeavor
which isn't that much money but I'm kind of of like, I should get some sort of outcome.
And so I don't want to grow mold, so I wipe down the bucket all the time, but with like a Clorox wipe.
And I have to get like kind of close to the wine or the fruit mash.
And I don't want the Clorox wipe to touch it because there's bleach on the wipe.
And so I don't want there to be bleach in my wine.
Yeah, which one is worse, the bleach or the mold?
And that should be a new segment,
Bleach or Mold,
on the HeadGum Podcast.
You're becoming Jessica Koslow.
Well, yeah, that was another thing.
It's like, I just want to scrape off the top.
This is not selling us.
The squirrel jam. The squirrel jam lady.
That's what I thought as well.
Who sold moldy jam.
Which I guess, I mean, she said it,
so I don't know if you want to trust her,
but she said that it was fine to have.
And if George is scraping mold off this living room wine, I feel like it's going to be fine.
There's bathtub gin and living room wine.
Den whites and reds.
Living room wine.
Was that red, red wine?
Red, red wine, but living room wine.
That's good.
Not a direct match.
You got the laugh track for that. I we should talk about matt gates uh i saw a tweet that was like matt gates stop the perfect example yeah i think we don't
have to number one just the first one we don't have to um also i feel like last week this was kind of or maybe it was the week before some of the feedback
was
in a way like be less
topical
so yeah just
thinking about it well we did the Fauci thing we did the
Rand Paul bit
that didn't go over well that did not go over well
with anyone yeah
but I thought the issue there was that
I was kind of giving him a platform to spew nonsense.
Yeah, and I think I stopped you before you did the same here, for sure.
Thank you, Marika.
Yeah, you're welcome.
We can proceed maybe just with something else, though.
Jeff, was that the only segment you had planned?
I have more.
I just was trying to keep it open.
Because when we get into the segments, it's kind of really locked in um
so you wanted to open with that sorry no you're fine i'm sorry for i didn't know if you were
finishing um good i feel like you guys haven't said anything positive well i actually opened
with something specifically positive and i will say before this podcast i was like i feel like
jeffrey's going to make me talk about matt gatesetz. So I Googled Matt Gaetz to make sure I know what it's about,
but then I got distracted.
But I'm glad.
So I didn't actually end up figuring out what the hubbub is.
And we're not going to talk about it.
So you actually, you were saved by the Brownling.
Well, I know.
So I've dodged a bullet.
I just want to say I knew it was coming.
I can show you my history, my search history.
I really Googled Matt. I was like, this is going to come up.
Yep.
So what's the note there?
Just don't talk about topical stuff, because like I do have a segment that is kind of topical.
It's apolitical, but it's topical.
Is it you want me to be apolitical?
Because I feel like to some degree we have to talk about the hot button.
I think if you're going to be provocative, you should have more of like a sensible stance on it
rather than just being provocative for provocateurs sake yeah not like playing clips of the people
that we definitely all in this room don't agree with because that is giving them a platform
to be clear we don't have to speak on the hot button issues yeah it's like those need to be discussed but then it's
like there are certain people in certain places to do that and so i think you specifically you
jeff on this show i don't know if it's like if you need to talk about the hot button issues
because also it's like you didn't it didn't seem to be led with any kind of agenda you're like let's
just talk about it so it's like in what way like, let's just talk about it. So it's like, in what way?
Like, why?
Like, what do you mean for what?
Yeah.
Pipe is back in his hand.
Pipe is back.
It hasn't left the hand.
Well, right.
And so it is,
that's kind of like a safety blink.
Yeah, it's a crutch.
It's a crutch.
It's a crutch.
But on the positive note,
I think your hair looks really good this way.
Yeah, I would agree.
That's genuine.
I think your hair looks really good.
Damn, Daniel.
Marika, I took the note. I mixed the levels.
It was a little better.
That was another note from last week. The old one was this.
Damn, Daniel. Back at it again with the white van.
Riley is grasping her headphones. She moved them off her head.
So I found this one.
It's much nicer.
That second one, even with my headphones
off, these cans on my head
will bleed because of you.
Welcome to the future
of Brooks Brothers.
Welcome to the future of Brooks Brothers. Welcome to the future of Brooks Brothers.
Topical.
Brooks Brothers, the oldest clothing retailer in the U.S., filed for bankruptcy last year, Chapter 11, actually.
And they were saved by not only the bell, but a sale, $325 million by a brand development firm,
which plans to continue and build upon their legacy and keep it as a clothing brand.
But, you know, I was reading this New York Times article about how they were in hot water,
not hot water, but deep quicksand.
They were sinking fast.
I'm just wondering, because again, we're talking about the oldest clothing retailer in the United States.
They created ready to wear, which isn't a good thing, but still.
What if Brooks Brothers wasn't bought out?
This begs the question.
Wait, can I just stop the podcast?
Yeah.
I let you run, but I had a couple of things that sort of piled up and I was like, I'm
going to forget all of them.
One, you started this segment by cutting off Riley.
And I think it's more than just like interrupting with a what's that?
Like, it seems you're learning that lesson.
It's in general cutting people off, especially with sound. And I thought it was just the what's that that seemed to get to people
so no it's being interrupted in general so that's note a yeah uh and to be interrupted by a damn
daniel sorry go on george i just had to add that like of all things but no and that makes sense
oh so in that case actually you double interrupted riley because you interrupted her with the damn
daniel and then you interrupted her with the theme music for the second.
It's hard, you know, because we get to the 25 minute mark and then we have this run of the show.
You're interrupting George.
I think, and this is like maybe an active solution moving forward.
Maybe if you still aren't over this by the end of this episode and you're doing this audit again next week, I think you lose soundboard privileges.
I think moving in to that, if you have to week, I think you lose soundboard privileges. I think moving
in to the, if you have to do this again, you
lose soundboard privileges.
Wow.
Yeah.
I don't know. I mean, because the show is kind
of the soundboard and vice versa.
Just someone else would have it. And vice versa?
What's that?
He said the show is the soundboard
and vice versa. So the soundboard is the show he's not
wrong he's not wrong it's not good but he's not wrong
no that's a good note maybe uh maybe marika has it maybe marika takes the reins next week of the
soundboard that's another segment we do marika takes the reins where she has two minutes to
five minutes 20 minutes sometimes to do whatever yeah which is we don't have to get into that but that's it's been brought up and it's
a whole other issue which we're not doing it this week because apparently the ticking clock part of
it yeah he does hold up a timer on the screen it includes it he he timed it with a ticking clock
and then i'm just supposed to talk and i mean you guys know i'm not a comedian i'm not a performer
and i'm just giving you got hamilton tickets you got to go backstage because you were a performer
for Ham for Ham
it's not because I'm a performer it's because I tweeted
something
alright well let's
just do this fucking segment
continue George please
really quick you did interrupt
George on his note about you continuing to interrupt.
So if you could just let George actually give this whole note, that would be really...
He stopped giving the note.
Jeff, you just interrupted me.
So if you could just actually let George finish this whole thing, that would be a really great sign of growth.
And take it away, George.
So the next part is, it was your reference to Brooks Brothers inventing ready-to-wear.
And you do this thing a lot where you reference things that you assume everybody just knows.
And I didn't totally know what you meant by ready to wear.
In my mind, all clothes are ready to wear.
That's like they wouldn't be selling them if they aren't ready to wear.
To this point, this is something that was brought up last week too, where I made the
statement of like, you bring up these things that are so specific and interesting
to you in this moment. The exact quote was that
I guess Steely Dan was wrong. You can
buy a thrill. And then nobody
fucking laughed. You just interrupted Marika right?
I feel like that was just the normal
flow of conversation. Well you feel
that. Well you feel that because that's what you do.
Because you do it all the time so you're like
oh for me that's normal conversation.
But it's not for everyone else yeah yeah that went down as like marika started saying something and you said i remember the quote i remember the exact quote i was like those are cutting off words
but yeah to that point steely dan reference like we know stealing dan but we're not
it's not in the moment. It's not what we're
talking about. Very out of nowhere. Hard to
relate to. Similar to what
Gerard was saying about Ready Tour, which I also don't know
what that is. I also didn't know about the
Brooks Brothers news at all. It was this recent.
You said it happened a year ago. Why are we talking about it?
Et cetera, et cetera. And that's how Jeff's
agents pitch him. It's very out of
nowhere, not relatable.
That's the email all the casting directors get
there's always an every
man and then there's a no man
ready to wear is fast fashion that
might be a little bit more buzzwordy and of the times
okay like you're ever laying to your
not a good invention
but they did it nonetheless
this all begs the question what if they
hadn't been bought
what if chapter hadn't been bought?
What if Chapter 11 sent them to their grave?
It begs the question.
Someone has to ask it, and I feel like, why not us?
I went to an all-boys school when I was growing up, and our sister's school had these bumper stickers they would sell in their store like everybody you know where you would buy like a letterman jacket or this bumper sticker that said yet george's girlfriend went to
this school and uh the yet didn't stand for anything it was more of a mantra and it was
i don't have an a in chemistry yet and so it was basically a way to encourage like all the girls so i'm just saying
why not us what we haven't waxed about brooks brothers yet oh my god got it got it this begs
the question what if brooks brothers hadn't been bought and then i thought we could kind of just
talk about what brooks brothers might have become because let's say that you know it eventually is only worth a couple thousand dollars and we buy it
what do what do we decide to use the name for okay i will give you that question getting to
that point was an absolute journey that we did not need to go through but the question of scenic
route what would we do with the Brooks Brothers name is fine.
And I'm fine to continue.
Thank you.
Podcast continue.
I was thinking it could be so like Brooks Brothers.
And then it's like a Creekside nonprofit for pairing at risk youths with like a Big Brother style mentor.
Creekside.
That's a lot more like endearing than what my first thought like my first thought was
like keep it clothing make it a little more risque so george give like a design idea for
like how would you alter a brooks brothers outfit to make it a little bit naughty well i guess i
was like when i think brooks brothers i think like thin sweater you wear over a button down.
And I think like, what if there were more holes in it?
Which one? The sweater?
Well, it's like it's not even like intended for warmth.
It's a layering like vehicle.
Like it's it's our it's not intended to be comfortable.
Like they create like what you wear on a casual friday if you
worked on wall street so like i guess it might it's like making casual friday a little more
casual that's a really good that's really good that's really good
marika riley pitches brooks brothers what could it be if we owned it for only a g um i was thinking we we turn it into a
lifestyle brand like it's not just about the clothes it's it's about goop but it's it's just
for brothers it's about goop it's it's a slime store it's it's it's goop for brothers meaning
you know it's like goop they try and be like any anyone can be part
of goop anyone can goop and for brooks brothers it's like only brothers can do it and so if you
if you are brothers then it's like here's the lifestyle for you so it's like there's rich
there's brothers retreats there's brothers diy and so it's like how to make a sign for your bedroom
door that you share with your adult brother
the first category is
brothers retreats and the second one is brothers
DIY and that's the end
of the list
right now
have you been to the goop store
there's a storefront
they went brick and
mortar
they went brick and mortar they went brick and mortar
rick and morty brick and mortar what do you mean so they have rick and morty merch they have
moisturizer that's pickle rick in a store i don't know it's buzzwords anyway what's the storefront
like no it's just very um it's a weird eclectic mix of things.
I feel like it was like the front is jewelry for some reason.
And then you get to the back and it's like gold masks and $80 exfoliator.
And then also there's like vibrators somewhere.
And it's a whole thing.
It's in Soho. so now i'm trying to envision
that but for brothers but for brothers and wondering like what products it would sell
for brothers that i assume the brothers are going together to buy at the same time you can only go
with your brother so that's the thing it's like because anyone can walk in there and be like oh
i'm a brother and they're like i don't think It's like, you have to show up with your kin, with your brother.
It's like getting into a frat house.
So it's like, who do you know here?
And then it's like, oh, this is my brother.
And it's like, oh, you know, you guys know each other?
You were in a frat, right?
It's like blood brothers.
But anyway, yeah, Jeff.
What was that?
What?
Oh, you just mean blood relatives.
That too.
Got it.
All right.
What about Brooks's brothers? So it's All right, what about Brooks's Brothers?
So it's a new nickname for Mel Brooks's Brothers.
Irving Kaminsky, Bernie Kaminsky, and Lenny Kaminsky.
Another name for this is the Kaminsky Method.
Interesting.
We don't have to stop, but you skipped me.
Did I assume just read something that you had written down?
Because that was the vibe that it gave off.
What's your idea for
brooks um i didn't really i i just i wanted to point out that i was skipped uh but i didn't
really get much further than it was a store started by brooks wheelan we get him to kind
of be the masthead of this thing um but it's unclear i didn't get as far get far enough to
figure out what he's sent yeah go on can i build off this because this actually is perfect it was
kind of like an interruption what you just did what if it's brooks bothers so it's a punk style
gotcha prank show hosted by brooks wheelan sure i mean like is changing the name
allowed it felt like it wasn't i think you have to own the brooks brothers ip just so that you
don't get sued for doing something similar got it and parody law does not apply can i say stop
yeah yeah so uh every stop so far has made sense riley addressed it but it is the you did
put up your hand and count three two one while marie was talking which is your kind of right
is not technically an interruption but but boy was it hard to talk to her yeah
it's akin to the ticking clock in a way. Yeah. It's a literal ticking clock.
Yeah.
And then I wanted to note, and I'm sure you're going to want to get back to it, but I want to stop you before you do.
You had this thing about the Kaminsky method talking about Mel Brooks' brothers.
And it felt like you were so excited to say it that you were a willing to count down marika but also felt like
so prepared like this whole segment was built to be about that joke i think maybe because the rest
of us we didn't know you're gonna do this we sort of organically came up with these kind of good
takes on what brooks brothers could be and I hate to say, maybe the worst of all the ones I was suggesting.
Yours you sat down, you thought about,
and you interrupted people to say.
So I guess it's like before you say something,
think, is this worth saying?
Yeah.
And even before that,
is this worth interrupting someone for?
Yeah.
All right.
It's funny because if anybody else, like if Marika had said that, I would have shut down.
But because, you know, I've known you for, what, five years?
I think we've known each other almost the same amount of time.
But, I mean, you guys do live together, so it's fine.
Actually, I do think I met George the spring before I met Marika.
So this is, you know, that's fine then.
Marika, feel free to speak freely
now
I have nothing else to say you guys
don't have any more Brooks Brothers pitches well we
didn't have the time to prepare and write all of
them down like you did which is what George
just said yeah I know I heard that
I just I thought he was making it sound like
it was more fun and probably more fruitful
to
come up with it on the spot.
It's never fun or fruitful to be put on the spot with a countdown clock in any way.
So I guess just bear that in mind.
Okay.
And just because I did have two more prepared, can I just say that?
Yeah, go ahead.
Go for it.
Rooks Brothers.
So it's a party store specializing in chess piece Halloween costumes. You say Rooks Brothers? Is that what it was? Rooks Brothers so it's a party store specializing in chess piece Halloween costumes
you say Rooks Brothers is that what it was
Rooks Brothers yeah
I also feel like you didn't explain the game
well enough oh it's not a game it's just waxing
I mean the fact that it can
the name can be changed but go on
next one Books Bother
and it's just a book burning ceremony
not a book burning content
so with these we actually I just want to like point out this is kind of similar to George's point in that it's just a book burning ceremony not a book burning content I just want to point out
this is kind of similar to George's point in that it's like
in us waxing playing the game
it's like we all kept the name of Brooks Brothers
and we're like okay what ideas can come up
with this we didn't know we were allowed to fully
change the name entirely which of course you could
make anything you could make up anything
and be like oh now this is what it is
but the whole point of the container of the game
it's like okay with the ip of brooks brothers what can you make with that and so obviously you
could you could change your cook's brothers it's cookware right so it's like i can do that too
it's actually really good well it's fine i guess here's a piece of advice play by the same rules
you don't get to make up your own rules for a game that you invent. If you're going to tell everyone what the rules are,
and then you also have to play by those rules.
And I think that really applies to every single episode of this show,
so that's a great note, Riley.
Also, I do want to point out that Jeff is just making faces in response.
Which is what George pointed out earlier,
of just kind of making a face while we're actually making some good points.
But yeah, you're correct. You didn't interrupt until that point when you did but we'll let it go
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Check it out. Welcome to Vine or Brine.
This is a
game for cash.
Stop. I just want to point
out it isn't this or that.
Podcast continue. Podcast stop. I do
feel like Melanie's
note was not to make more than one of those
per episode. And I did
that. Okay. Podcast
proceed. This is all for cash. This is
$50 for every right answer answer $10 owed to me for
every wrong answer whoa
stop yeah I didn't sign
up I thought there would
be no notes on that
because you have five to
one odds I have to one
you'll yeah you'll be
fine guarantee you get
this one yeah you guys
are probably gonna make a
lot of money so I don't know this one. Yeah, you guys are probably going to make a lot of money. So I don't know.
What are the rules?
Have you guys ever played Vine or Brine?
Did you invent the game?
I feel like I've played it before, but I also made up the rules today.
Got it.
No, none of us have played it.
You played it in your own mind as you were making it up.
And you haven't played it.
Yep.
So Vine or Brine, basically, I'm going to play some audio and you tell't played it. Yep. So Vine or Brine, basically I'm going to play some audio
and you tell me whether it's from the app that used to exist, Vine,
where it was just consisted of six-second videos,
launched the careers of such characters as Miel Brado,
Gabe Gundacker, et cetera, Demi.
I'm starting to get tired.
So? What? uh all i'm starting to get tired um so what it's just like i i wish that you guys would have played it before so i didn't have to like
run through the rules it's like when somebody doesn't know how to play like you're telling us
about people whose careers were launched by vine those aren't rules we know this we know all those
people how do you play the game
so i'm gonna play a sound clip and you tell me whether it was comes from a vine or whether it
uh has to do with brine whether it has to do with brine can you kind of can you elaborate on that a
little bit that's for the rules that i don't really understand of if it has to do with it
because it could be a vine yeah there could be a
vine that does relate to brine none of them do let's just say that but that's a good note for
next time is that i should kind of get a gotcha question all right ready yes here we go first one
two oh just uh just buzz in or like say it and then uh here we go two bros chilling in the hot tub five feet apart because they're not gay
that's a vine that's correct fifty dollars to marika brownlee on the sax okay here we go second
one it's a little bit runny that's a vine that's correct fifty dollars to the man in my bedroom
all right here we go number three the emphasis That's correct. $50 to the man in my bedroom.
All right, here we go.
Number three.
The emphasis.
I'm going to go with brine.
That's absolutely correct.
That's $50 to the woman in a statement pant.
All right, here we go.
Number four. How about saying this?
Look, this is kosher salt.
Hope you guys can see it.
Listen, it's a coarse grain. You got to is kosher salt. Hope you guys can see it. Listen, it's a coarse grain.
You got to use kosher salt.
I'm a business.
Yep.
That's brine.
That's correct.
$100 to the woman in an orange.
Oh, I hit the button by accident.
That's $150.
Wow.
That's great.
All right, here we go.
You can't sit with us.
Actually, Megan, I can't sit anywhere.
I have hemorrhoids. That is a vine that's also meow that's correct and that's gonna be double points because
she got the person right i should have mentioned that by the way if you can say who the first one
was anthony that's absolutely correct that's two hundred dollars to marika oh the second one was
uh gabe gundacher that's absolutely correct a hundred dollars to riley and george two hundred
dollars to marika actually 150 to $150 to Riley. This is
unbelievable because that's almost $500.
Sorry, stop.
Don't be mad at us for winning a game
that you invented and the rules that you made.
I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself
which is so much worse because the show's going to
end and I can't even redirect that anger.
It's going to be in a word the entire night
and it's Friday. Also,
my point was
gonna be like you're you're paying your roommate like you you could think of that as just like
investing in your home in a way he's not gonna spend it on our house he's gonna grow mold in
the living room whoa not yet all right here we go ready and whisk that's brine.
That's correct.
And I'm going to take a shot at who made the brine sound.
Dr. Pickle?
So you're at $140 now because you got that part wrong.
So that's minus $10.
It was so close George I'm gonna go Brine
That's correct that's Saltwater by Geowolf
Oh my god
I'm gonna say that song's by Geowolf
That's absolutely correct George
$190
So yeah Marika's at $250
George you're at $190.
Riley, you're at $150.
Here we go.
Last one.
This is triple or nothing.
So if you get this wrong, cash is gone.
But if you get it right, that's $150.
That's a vine.
That's correct.
Oh, my fucking God.
Yeah.
Let's add this up.
$250
190 300 that's seven hundred forty dollars
Beyond fucks I should not have done this
God damn it. Why am I doing this?
God damn it.
Why am I doing this?
Yeah.
And my balance in my bank account is pretty low right now, so this sucks.
Just give me a second to talk amongst you guys.
I feel like it's not even worth stopping, but I assume he's Venmoing all of us cash. Oh, gotcha.
So I feel fine with this.
Yeah, I ran out of money.
I had $440 in my bank account.
Right, and you owe Riley a loan, $450.
It's $300, but yeah.
Oh, I thought she had $150.
I did have $150.
Yeah, it's triple or nothing of $50.
Not of your entire total.
Oh.
That wasn't properly explained.
I said triple or nothing, so this one would be for $150.
Okay.
I cannot pay you.
This is embarrassing.
It's like your credit card being declined at a fucking Bed Bath & Body Works.
Has that happened to you before?
More often than not.
What are you trying to buy?
Salts.
It's a pretty cheap store.
They got coupons all the time. It's like three like three serves well i'm not a spendthrift so i can't like i mean
they're not even coupons it's like you know five dollar candles but whatever i guess this is uh
this is the last stop as it were the uh the the last you know trains coming into the station
on film and everyone in the movie theater is freaking out.
What have we learned?
What have I learned?
What have you taught me?
Let's recap.
Well, I think it makes sense if you recap because it will show your attention level.
What have we taught you?
At this point, my skin has thickened a little bit.
The calluses are starting to form.
I'm less emotional than I thought I would be at the end of this thing.
Mostly because, like I said at the beginning of the episode, I know that you guys have my
best interests at heart and you want me to continue on to great success. And the things
that I've learned, I would say, is less interruptions, ideally no interruptions,
unless it goes with the flow of conversation. Which is different. Sorry, I'm going to interrupt
you and remind you that your idea of a conversation flow is very different from the kind of normal conversation flow
that was just to show marika that i mixed that one down six decibels too uh that's from
wwe you've got to be fucking kidding me now i owe you 240 dollars um yeah
i've learned not to interrupt i've learned not to make faces when other people are talking
but to actively engage in conversations that i begin and this isn't about the show but i've
learned that i'm gonna come home in nine days to some fine wine and have a good time with my buddy george sign saba can i ask jeff uh like your goal is to bring
uh george and riley on because they're you're two good friends and you felt like they were
gonna give good positive feedback do you feel like you accomplished what you wanted to yeah
i think that i got the best notes this episode than i have the past three weeks because they do know me so well and they
fell on uh steady ears in that i was ready to hear it and maybe i should have started with you guys
because the first episode i was just not prepared i was was taking everything personally. But my hope is that Amir hears this,
and I think I'm going to offer him the olive branch this week.
I think I'm going to reach out and say,
hey, I hope you've heard how hard I've been working to get better.
And would you like to come on,
hash out the last of the things we have to hash out,
and move on as if nothing happened?
That's great.
Maybe rethink the move on as if nothing happened. That's great. Maybe rethink the move on as
if nothing happened. I think you'll be
changed. He'll be changed regardless.
We'll all be changed. We've all been
through this. Yeah.
But it's impossible to
move on as if nothing happened. That was a poor choice
of words. Do you want to rephrase it?
Because it was a poor choice. Do you want to try again?
Let's move forward
with the understanding that I'm the best I've ever been. Because it was a poor choice. Do you want to try again? Let's move forward.
With the understanding that I'm the best I've ever been.
As a host and as a person.
I think I saw George nod his head.
Yeah.
I buy that.
Are you going to do.
So is the next HeadGum podcast episode going to be another audit?
Or are you going to get Amir back on?
I think both.
I think let's get Amir on here.
Let him air his grievances.
Right, Marika?
On air and almost force a reconciliation in front of an audience.
I think he said time to sit with whatever problems he's been having.
Yeah, he'll have a calendar month at that point.
Yeah, and I'll pass these notes on to him from this episode,
and he'll be able to make of those what he wants.
And were they written positive to me?
They're just written.
They're written as they were stated.
Yeah.
Well, I have some notes for you guys.
Would love to hear them.
George, this is not your first rodeo.
You know, you've been on a lot of HeadGum podcasts.
You've been on a lot of other podcasts.
I don't understand why you don't have a mic at this point.
That's a good note. Bite the bullet.
That's a good note.
Riley, I feel like you should make the big podcaster's room the little podcaster's room.
I should.
Sorry.
I should turn my home office into a bathroom. Nailed it.
Nicole Byer style. I think
that that would be a pretty damn good bathroom
and then you wouldn't have to get up and leave the room
to, well, we.
Marika,
you've been through this whole audit
with me and not only
can I not thank you enough for sticking by
my side this whole time and defending me
in the face of adversity, but I want to thank you enough for sticking by my side this whole time and defending me in the face of adversity?
But I want to thank you for your stewardship.
You were the shepherd, my lord and savior this year.
And I was a sheeple.
And I've realized the terrors of my ways.
And I'm back, baby.
You're welcome.
I'm imagining a sheep realizing the terrors of his ways.
I feel like that's the wolf's job, but it's an image that I like and I'm having fun with.
What do you guys have to plug? What do you have going on?
Social media projects point the people to the floor is yours.
Yeah. Well, thank you so much for having me on.
This has been a treat and really enlightening experience.
I think we can bring a lot back to our show, which I'll plug a review review also on the head gun podcast network.
And if anyone has any feedback about that show and kind of,
and specifically like Jeff's attitude,
his character on that podcast,
like feel free to reach out to me about it.
And I'm at Riley and spa on Instagram and at Riley coyote on Twitter
projects to plug fun,
super cool,
immersive show into the mist is still running.
Um,
these next couple of Fridays in April.
So get tickets at into the mist.net slash tickets.
Um,
Jeff was on it at one point and he was only a one night guest and you can
kind of understand why he was a one night only kind of guest at this point.
Um, but yeah, this has been really fun oh
oh and we're doing our first
review review live
show on
the internet not in person
you
can get tickets for
that
headgum.com slash live
headgum.com slash live so come onum.com slash live. So, come on
down. It's April 21st. It's a Wednesday,
6 p.m.
Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern.
It's going to be a good time.
George will be there. George will
be there. I will be there.
Yeah.
So, I guess I can plug the Review Review Live
show on April
something at 6 p.m.
21st.
21st.
21st.
I said the 28th.
Didn't want to steer anyone wrong.
It's going to be at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern.
It's going to be oodles of fun.
Jeffrey and Riley are both going to be there.
You can get tickets for that on headgum.com slash live.
Other things to plug.
My Twitter is at George Saba, G-E-O-R-G-E-S-S-A-B-A.
My Instagram is at secret George Saba, the word secret, and then how I spelled my name.
This is a new one.
A cool little leftist comedy organization called Comedy Collective LA.
I'm doing very dumb things for them.
Like, it's good.
The things I'm doing are dumb.
You can see me naked in the first sketch I did.
And, yeah, that's cool.
You can stream Cherry on Apple TV if you've got hours to spare.
Oh, and then you can follow my wine updates on my food Instagram, Secret George Saba.
It's spelled a little different.
It's S-E-A-T-C-R-E-T-G-E-O-R-G-E-S-S-A-B-A.
Link to it is in my regular instagram bio which is easier to spell
every time you plug it's the hardest ways to follow you i'll frame it as a riddle
you can follow me on twitter instagram or letterboxd at marie galon m-a-r-i-k-a-e-l-o-n also the live shows review review the day before is a high and
mighty 420 mega sesh which will be interesting in a time really exciting the day this comes out
there's a we hate movies live show uh so that's fun uh and then may 1st the dough boys are doing a 25 hour charity dough-a-thon
on twitch for free so tune into that at some point that's gonna be
a time i think they said at one point if they raise 50 000 they're gonna do another chicken
nugget power hour maybe i don't want to hold them to that don't listen to me but that'll be awful if they
have to do that again so you should donate money um yeah that's all i got and you can follow me
on instagram at jeffrey james on twitter at jeff boyardee and yeah the review live show like we
said all of riley and i's proceeds profits whatever the right word is we'll be going to uh the chinatown
community for equitable development which is a grassroots organization in la that helps proceeds, profits, whatever the right word is, will be going to the Chinatown Community for Equitable Development,
which is a grassroots organization in L.A.
that helps fight against bad gentrification development efforts in Chinatown
and gives multi-ethnic intergenerational residents of the area
a stronger say in future decision-making in the area.
We'll be back next week with Amir Blumenfeld himself, a hopeful reconciliation and some
more exciting guests coming up in April and May.
Can you guys join me in a namaste?
The light within me honors the light within you.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Namaste.
Namaste. Namaste. Namaste. Namaste.
That was a HeadGum Original.