The Headgum Podcast - 48: Couples Counseling (w/ Avital Ash!)

Episode Date: April 30, 2021

Comedian Avital Ash joins Amir, Marty, and Geoff to discuss her new web series Antisocial Distance, therapy, and SHEEEEESH. Plus, Geoff steps into the role he was born / has studied for - Marriage and Family Therapist.BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Were there any snubs amongst the HeadGummy nominations slash winners that you guys would like to air? There's a solid amount of shows that are on the network that weren't nominated, which is kind of upsetting considering it was a uh award show specifically for the network like we're nominated four times yeah we'll have two shows like nicole byer was nominated once who nicole byer um riley i think riley is a really dynamic performer and just a breath of fresh air billy billy won for buckets and i was nominated buckets. You gave a story that I told, um, about pizza,

um, a, an award after the award show was over willy nilly. Um, so I would probably just have an award show and then turn the award show off. Um, that was just pretty, I haven't spoken to willy nilly in years.

Who? William Miller. He's, um, I did swimming with him in high school, so he did a lot of like the relays but huh what's he up to now you must have heard the second one

or whatever yeah or whatever is right. Welcome to another edition of the HeadGum Podcast. Friday, April 22nd, 2021. Am 22nd 2021 amir vaccinated avital ash with us as always marty michael the ceo of head gum running it into the ground really uh we're back at it again with a white van on a friday and uh i don't know what else to say anti-social distancing let's talk about it nice we're We're not going to fuck around. Yeah, right into the plug. Well, because I'm in it. I'm in the series. You are. And so I have to get the views to get the cash.

Yeah, you don't get paid unless your video gets... Breaks 100,000. 20,000. Yeah, 100,000. That's what I was saying. 20,000 would be good. The only person you named as vaccinated is the only one who's not vaccinated. Avital, you're not vaccinated?

Amir and I are both equally half vaccinated. He and I both have half our first vaccine. Moderna gang or let's talk about it. It doesn't matter. It's private. But yeah. Yeah. You don't have to answer that.

Avital's making an M because that's Moderna gang. If you didn't get Moderna, you're not a part of shit. You're not a part of shit if you didn't get Moderna that's what I've always said I got Pfizer no I think all vaccines are pretty good as long as we're

doing our part getting vaccinated that's going to help the overall spread regardless of the brand we shouldn't be like trying to divide the country well I think it's cool

that there's so much diversity here so shut your mouth not really I got J&J and it was terrible do not get the J&J vaccine. They were all terrible, Marty. You would have reacted poorly

to any of them. No, it almost killed me. It tried to kill me. I think the other ones would have killed you even more. You got the easy one and it almost killed you. You wouldn't have lasted one day after one shot of the Pfizer. I went into an anaphylactic shock seizure slash coma. You were there. It was a right aid.

I started foaming at the mouth. I turned into this like werewolf situation, but I survived as well. What is a werewolf situation? It's like. Back to a werewolf. Yeah, you just sort of get hairy, but that's it. There's no other like side effect.

Remnants on his face. It turned into a werewolf situation and you also turned towards the sun and stared at it for the better part of a decade. Yeah. Why so long? Vitamin D is necessary in addition to the vaccine in warding off

COVID. But you were like, what are we doing here? This is the HeadGum podcast. This is the absolute HeadGum podcast. And what is HeadGum? What is HeadGum? HeadGum is a podcast network founded in 2015 by Marty Michael,

Jake Hurwitz, and Amir Blumenfeld. What started as a small company with a roster of, I believe, 10 shows. Started, obviously, with the flagship property being If I Were You, and then nine other shows from Friends and Family. Sorry, what's that? You're boring. Sorry, I was boring. She doesn't know about any of that stuff.

If she doesn't know about it, you should just listen, right? Because that's the whole story. And I was starting from the beginning. You said start from the top. You said start from the top. I was doing that. Yeah, I'm going to start from the top and make it interesting. Do voices.

All right, we have 77 shows now across HeadGum and our other platform, Gumball.fm. She's just tired. She's not really bad. Yeah, it's nothing to do with your voice. I woke her up from a nap to do this podcast. I got about 12 hours and then your voice kicked in and just I needed some more. That's so much.

12 hours is a lot. Marty, what the fuck are you drinking? That's windshield wiper fluid. It's pre-workout. I'm going to start lifting halfway through this show. Wait, why? It's too clear to be pre-workout. That looks like Kool-Aid.

Yeah. That is Kool-Aid. That's pre-workout. The sugar rush gets me going. That. Yeah. That is Kool-Aid. That's pre-workout. The sugar rush gets me going. That's antifreeze and you now have anti-knees. Because, yeah, stand up. Let's see how oddly they've gotten. Antifreeze for antibodies.

No, my knee is hurt right now. No joke. I got some sort of hurt MCL or something. Jesus Christ. I know, getting old. Falling apart. Wait, what is that blue liquid? It was bright blue liquid.

It looked like what you uh barber puts a comb in it's that's barbicide it's a mix of uh i think it's blue raz pre-workout and creatine and what do you don't what are you working at what happens after what am i working out my brain dude i don't think so i really don't so you don't have to take creatine are you lifting at home? I was at your place the other day recording something for the upfronts, and you had the same dumbbells as I have where you twist the knob, and then suddenly you have different weights.

This is already going poorly. That's why Jeff knew so much about our company. He had to listen to me try and deliver a two-minute message in an hour and a half. It took me a while. It took me a while. It took you 10 minutes. Yeah, it's a long time to do two minutes of content. All right, we're five minutes in. Here we go.

Something you might want to know is we're almost out of the weeds almost. And the major key alert of the day, which we do this every show, Ash, is that. Never. Never done it before. Yeah, I never heard that. That was so loud. We never never done it before yeah i never heard that that was so loud we've never done this before i like being called ash it was very familiar it's like ash ketchum you ever see pokemon just continue with the major key alert of the day my physics my physics teacher what you play it his name was Mr. Ketchum.

And the thing about him was that he was sort of a joyous man with a cat who was white, and the cat's name was the White Cat. And then one time, me and Mike, we had to build a boat out of cardboard that would keep the weight of two students. So me and my buddy Tucker, we made a boat out of cardboard, and everybody got to name theirs, and people would be like, oh, the SS physics, the SS thing. But ours was not SS anything. It was just the name

of the boat was I like a four inch inseam. Was what? What was it? The name of the boat was I like a four inch inseam. Okay. That's a lot of work. Oh, that was the end of the story. Damn, Daniel! Back at it again with the white van!

Oh my, this is terrifying. Oh! It's Titanic! Time to go! Time to go, she says! Here, it's okay. That looks so fun. I wanna be there for that. Was that you, Amitabh, that said that? Or somebody in the video said, time to go? That looks so fun.

I want to be there for that. Was that you? Are we talking about something or somebody in the video say time to go? I was talking in the video. It was not me. Either one would have worked. Let's talk about it.

What did we just see? What are our thoughts on it? Do you want me to tell you what just happened? That's a series called Antisocial Distance that I made. It stars Jeffrey, Amir,

Marty, and myself. It's incredibly viral. If Marty was Distance that I made. It stars Jeffrey, Amir, Marty, and myself. It's incredibly viral. God, if Marty was in that show, that would have tanked instantly. What show? You would not have gotten the write-up in the LA Times that you did. What show? The show is Antisocial Distance. It is a narrative web series that takes place over Passover 2020,

narratively. It just came out, and it's 47 episodes. She's bored again. She's bored by the whole series even though you're promoting her project she's just bored in general by Ash

written, produced, directed by Ash how do you watch it? you can watch it at antisocial is it distancing.com or distance.com? antisocialdistance.com

antisocialdistance.com or passover2020.com very nice Jeffrey memorized a lot of details except the name of the series, but go on. It's great.

I have been calling it anti-social distancing and it's locked in as that. I'm afraid, I'm almost certain you have to change the title. For you? Yeah, we'll buy

anti-socialdistancing.com to be, that'd be good. Cover all our bases. You guys ever try pre-workout? Okay, sorry. Who else does it star? Myself, Rose McIver, Amir, unfortunately.

But you kind of had to because you live with him. And if you didn't put him in the show, then suddenly he's like, why didn't you ask me to do the show? That's not why she did it. Well, it's also because I needed someone that I lived with to be part of it. And unfortunately, he is the person I live with. Not really. He probably wanted somebody who's good at acting. He is good at acting.

And the internet is saying so. and it's nice to see. The internet is usually mean, so if they're nice about something, you know it has to be true. It's true. The internet has been very nice both about, well, about all of it, which I didn't expect, but then also specifically Jeffrey and Amir, people being like, wow, look at them acting in dramatic roles and crushing it. True story. Yeah, Marty's shaking his antifreeze. You got to keep it mixed. It's obviously mixed in if it. True story. Yeah. Marty's shaking his antifreeze. You got to keep it mixed.

It's obviously mixed in if it's that blue. Steven Weber, UTK, other people that you The person from Never Have I Ever. I don't know her name. Christina Karchner.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you recognize her from that show? I did, yeah. I love that show. She's so pretty. She's bae. Yeah.

She's bae. Yeah. As in best actor ever whoa and what am I I'm chopped slivers you're a liver chopped slivers of liver chopped slivers of liver

fuck what uh I guess the thing that we should talk about is that you guys have been in quarantine for a year you're about to get out of it. What's the first thing you're going to do? And is it going to be couples counseling?

I will probably first thing take a nap on the couch. And now you? I'll probably maybe go see a movie or play basketball. Maybe I'll go to a baseball game, outdoor adventure, but still be around people so I can get like a hot dog and watch live sporting events.

Second thing, shower. Yeah. I'll take a shower. She hasn't showered since late March. Third thing. I will maybe go to a comedy show, watch some live comedy. Lovita's only listing things

that she can do right now today and has been able to do the entire year. Maybe I'll go to a Zoom show, like a comedy Zoom show. She was talking about doing a Zoom birthday party in July. Why? Because nobody has to leave the house. Also, Amir, you hate doing

all the things you just listed. Yeah, but I haven't done them in so long that I haven't gotten to dislike them yet. So I have to learn how to hate again. I feel like I'm numbing part of my brain because I'm only doing things that I like doing. Sleeping in, playing video games, recording podcasts. I'm not forcing myself out of my comfort zone because I literally can't leave my comfort zone.

And I like to be comfortable. And it's nice to be at home all the time. I actually had to go. A light was on in my car. So yesterday I had to go look at it to try and fix whatever was wrong. And I had so much anxiety about leaving the house. And I've been like sleeping with these frownies on sometimes. They're like little stickers you put on between your eyebrows because if you are an angry sleeper

and you have angry dreams and you throw your row and you wake up with wrinkles. So that's what I do. And so I went to the car fixer place with my frowny on because it felt like a safety blanket that tied me to home. I just started doing a skincare routine and uh it's basically spill the tea it's cleanser uh-huh it's vitamin c serum liquid gold as it were and uh moisturizer obviously and then eye cream wow it's been a dream

and uh i do feel like there's a youthful glow about me. Well, you are 21 years old. You don't have to do a skincare thing to have a youthful glow. Yeah, you do look good. You were born in the late 90s. I do it in the morning. I do it every morning. I always work at my computer.

I have chronic dry eye and potentially Sjogren's syndrome. Oh, I feel like you're joking, but they thought I had Sjogren's syndrome oh I feel like you're joking but I thought but I they thought I had Sjogren's I don't know if you're joking or not I'm like actually really worried because I'm supposed to get my results today oh my gosh well keep us posted

yeah I didn't have the markers for it but you can have it and not have the markers and the tests aren't always accurate and it's sort of a mixed bag it's an autoimmune condition. Decision. You make the decision of if you want it or not. Yeah, if you truly don't want it,

you don't have to have it, which is what I do with COVID. Sorry, I'm here one fucking second, actually. One fucking second, because I'm fucking connecting with Avital. We might have the same disorder, autoimmune or otherwise. Bow wow.

Yeah. Sorry about that. I didn't know about that. Dry eyes, dry mouth, fatigue. A lot of really fun stuff. Yeah. I'm like getting the blood work done. They stick the needle in my like elbow thing and I'm just standing there and I'm just like.

What is this sound effect? Sounds like a lamb. Why is this happening? Sounds like a lamb dying. Dying of the lambs. Was that all? Did you get blood work done to make that joke? Yeah, here we go.

Hold on. A new thing has started. Okay, got it. I'm pretty sure Jeff went to a car wash. Welcome to MFT Couples Counseling. And not a blood place. What'd you say? This is an exciting day. This is an exciting day.

This is an exciting day because this is the first time that we've had, for lack of a better term, lovebirds on the show. People who lie awake nights in the same chamber, really. I just have to stop you right there because I feel like that's pretty anti-Semitic. Yeah, we both have pronounced noses, but that's not reason to call us birds yeah you didn't know so just because i have a beak compared to you i don't quite appreciate that either but that's fine let's just i assume he meant it um in a positive fashion what positive fashion like to say that we're i guess you could have said lovers but but no, you said love birds.

Birds. Like do you eat? Do? Did you eat? I was going to say something. But yeah. I've met my match. I'm glad she brought it up because I usually can't defend myself in public.

No one challenges me this way on the show. And I'm like putting my place in a way. Everybody challenges you this way. All right. All right. Easy. Easy. I actually can't take that kind of criticism.

Okay. Because you guys are lovers, salacious sexual partners, when I get some kind of emotional component as well, I thought that we could play a game. Well, it's not really a game. It's just literal couples counseling as a way of not only promoting antisocial distance, but also to get to the root of your guys' inevitable issues.

Why is Marty here for this? It seems like we have three guests. Yeah, Marty's here as that last bastion of bachelor. Aren't you single? What's that? I'm romantically entangled with a bachelorette party. This is a perfect time to talk about me and Jake launching our fictional dating app to become a reality called Orion. Jeff, you're on it.

It's kind of like Tinder, but it's only people who listen to our podcast for now. I'm sorry. Are we here to promote Orion? Yeah. I mean, it's just we want to slip it in there because we talked about the web series. You don't even have to fucking pay for it. You're not getting any cash. Why do you have to promote it?

I sort of thought it was the perfect opportunity to promote the fact that I play Jeff's therapist and here we are flipping the script. But no, no. Promote your... It really should be Orion now and anti-social. Is it distance or distancing? Distance. Stop.

Later. Okay. All right. So what are the questions that you have for us basically i'm gonna be an mft for the next hour marty marriage and family therapist i'm here are you not in therapy you really should be yeah i've been yeah i've been before but i've not heard that acronym before uh and then marty you're that last bastion of bachelor so basically with your single person b of b that's all. So basically, chime in with your single perspective.

B of B, that's all. Yeah, and then you chime in with your single perspective. I'm single too, but I'm the MFT. You're not qualified for that. And I'm the NFT. Nice. Nice. I'm sorry.

She. She. What are the biggest problems in you guys' relationship? I wouldn't say we have any big problems, right? I'd say. I think we're mostly doing all right. We get along. We agree on most everything. And everything's been going swimmingly.

Amir just doesn't. I feel like Avital agrees with that. Amir doesn't have a lot of depth. So we have a sort of surface relationship. And that's fun too because to be it on the surface is fun because surface is everything. That's what you see. Like, I'll be like, we're all going to die and I feel overwhelmed by my own mortality.

What do you want for dinner? Yeah, exactly. And we usually can agree when it comes to Thai food, even though I like Patsy with tofu and she for whatever reason needs to have chicken and everything. Chicken, chicken, chicken. Patsy with chicken, okay, so let's get Patsy with something else. No, no, no, chicken, chicken, chicken.

I'm talking about real, exactly. I'm talking about real, exactly. I'm talking about real irreconcilable differences. Yeah, well, they're all reconcilable. And he's talking about... I could eat pad thai with whatever. He's talking about food. And then Marty, you're single.

So like, how does it feel to not have any problems because you don't have to be beholden to anybody? Well, you know, you know Amir's doing a bit because that's the most he's cared about anything is saying the word chicken. Yeah, right. I don't want to know beholden to anybody. Well, you know Amir's doing a bit because that's the most he's cared about anything is saying the word chicken.

Yeah, right. I don't know what the question is for me. What don't I like? Marty's now blind from the antifreeze. No, he wants you to tell us why it's so good to be single and not have to deal with a shallow partner, for example. I haven't seen a human in like over a year. I don't know. What do they do?

What are you guys up to? Actually, this is a good time to promote the show on HeadGum. This is why you're single. Listen, it's not called that anymore. And a good time to promote Orion, my new dating app. Amir, if you don't want to listen to me as an MFT, you can at least listen to Harry Styles in a tee. He did an interview with Zane Lowe on Apple Beats 1 Radio on, I want to say, December 14th, 2019.

And he said in the interview, basically, and this is all on a Malibu Bluff top, Cindy Crawford's old place, actually. And he realized that the moment you make a true friend is the moment you open up to them. And my fear is that you're not gonna have a solid foundation man if you don't open up to her why are you laughing because it's funny to imagine like you know she breaks up with you and you spiral that's funny to imagine i like that are you cracking up that's kind of funny

it's like what'd you say right it's that kind of funny. It's like, ooh, what'd you say? Right? It's that kind of vibe. Like this song. Gotcha, babe. What'd you say? You're an awful therapist if you're playing songs in the middle of that. Ooh, what'd you say? Yeah, we agree with it. Let's pull the room.

Do you guys want to stay together? What's the plan? Oh, yeah. How about you guys decide for us? I say stay together, but for no other reason than to just like have like way too many kids and traumatize them. That's good. Sounds awful.

It seems challenging to move right now so yeah I guess stay together. For how long do you think? Well you don't have to put a date on it or an expiration. Well as soon as things

free up. So like another few weeks maybe? Well I don't know. We don't really know but hopefully ideally yeah less than that. I mean the mask mandate is going to stay.

Who says? Plus with the variants. Maybe you can move with a mask. The infection rate stay. Who says? We don't know, really. Plus with the variants. You can move with a mask. The infection rate is down below one. I know, but we just don't know with the variants if the vaccines sort of cover all the mutations. But we're sort of all in the same boat. So it doesn't have to be me and you in that situation. It can be me with whoever and you on your own.

I mean, the science. It could be Avital with anybody in a mirror room. Exactly. Exactly. Or me with anybody. What? No. No, that's funny. A mirror. That's actually

really funny. What did he say? Sheesh! Sheesh! So do you guys think that the problems you're having are temporary or do you think that they are, like you say, reconciled? You're saying we have problems. You play these fucking bizarre viral TikTok sound clips,

and then you ask another follow-up. Chee! Yeah. Chee! I don't know. I did think that it would be a little bit of an issue, like maybe insurmountable, maybe, that I was having sex with all of Amir's friends

but since I told him about it right now he seems totally fine so I don't think it's a big deal so you guys have been swinging no we haven't

what is that it's from I have Avital made a joke on your show last week that's right and it was

call that to me yeah yeah thank you watch your space nice um do you do you know what that's from that song do you you were too young i don't know i'll be tall and amir might that's like do you guys watch the oc when we were kids or i guess it was college i didn't but i yeah it was just a song in the radio it wasn't from the oc it was from the oc how old do you think i am that was when i was going to bar and bat mitzvahs no it was college. I didn't, but I've... Yeah, it was just a song in the radio. It wasn't from the OC. It was from the OC. How old do you think I am?

That was when I was going to bar and bat mitzvahs. No, it was when Marissa shot that man. And then they played that song when he hits the ground. Isn't her name Marissa in the show? Daddy chill. All right. Let me have this. Wow.

Do you guys feel like you can talk to each other about anything? Yes. No. Of course, we both think yes. No. I mean, we agree on most. Yeah. We've got a disagreement.

You know how earlier there was a major key alert, but now it's actually a major disagreement alert. We have two of you saying different things, which means that there's a lapse in communication. Not really. We can both hear each other and disagree on stuff. I don't think so. We don't have to agree on literally every issue. There's an ocean between us. There's a...

Yeah. And sometimes oceans can be beautiful to look at. People go to the beach. Yeah, you want to be together on the ocean, though not on opposite sides of it. Yeah, but sometimes it's fun to be star-crossed lovers staring at each other. Moses parted the sea, but that was because it was a miracle. Yeah. Meaning that it's going to take a miracle.

I was with you. I got it. And you actually can't spell a miracle without a mirror. So if you think about it, there's some sort of poetic beauty to that sentiment. The idea of two people, star-crossed lovers, sitting on different ocean fronts, seeing each other, staring at the same sky,

but not knowing that the other one is there. And ultimately- Not knowing that the other one is there. That really gives it away. It's like he doesn't even see me anymore. You know what I mean? I don't know what I'm saying. I'm just like a piece of furniture.

Yeah, emotionally. Yeah, me too. Emotionally, yeah. Do we have a different game or is this just it? Do you guys ever fear that you're going to wake up to different worlds? Jeff, do you have the don't we usually like rifle through a bunch of games? Like I feel like we've stuck on the disagreement thing for a minute. We can move on to a different question within this

but this is couples counseling for sure and you are playing for 50 minutes. Yeah. Are you guys seeing anybody else? No. Yeah. Do you want to? No, I don't think that we should see.

It's like we're in an open relationship. This is the first I'm hearing about the swinging thing, which I thought was a bit until earlier this episode. If you watch my new documentary series that Jeffrey's in, you can see how I'm seeing other people. I don't think so. Yeah. What's that one called? It's called Anti-Social Distance. Yeah. Look at you with the title. I'm a fast learner. I'm seeing other people. I don't think so. Yeah. What's that one called? It's called Anti-Social Distance. Yeah.

Look at you with the title. I'm a fast learner. I'm a fast learner. Do you guys want a future together or do you kind of feel like it's fine for now? I mean, I did until I'm here. I'm learning a lot of new things about our relationship

and it's like making me feel some type of way. What way? Oh, this is good feelings. That's actually incorrect. What? good feelings. That's actually incorrect. What? Incorrect is just what I feel. Because if you're coming here, that means that you want to work towards a future together.

So why don't you take it again? What do you mean that's beautiful? He's making a point. You're force feeding me my emotions. I feel like I should be able to feel whatever I want and be able to explain it. Oh, now he has a backbone. All of a sudden, that's fun.

A backbone. I feel like I've always had that. Let's do this. Let's do this. Okay, Amir, I'm going to run you through a scenario. Let's do some role playing of a sudden, that's fun. A backbone. I feel like I've always said that. Let's do this. Let's do this. Okay, Amir, I'm going to run you through a scenario. Let's do some role playing here. Oh, that was sweet. Amir, let's see some more of that from you because it feels like it's all coming from

Avital. Thank you. I'm wondering, so Amir, why don't you stand up a little bit if you're not standing or at least hold two fingers onto your forearm and I'm going to do it right now. Hold two fingers to your forearm. Both of us or just Amir? Just Amir. Two fingers to the forearm.

Come on, man. My face when it all's gonna work out. What is the origin of that sound? It sounds like llamas or something, but it's based on humans saying sheesh. Explain it to me like I'm four. I'm going to explain it to you like you're a door. Okay.

Knock, knock. Who's there? Sheesh. Marty, do you see a future with just yourself or do you see a future with the whole thing? Family, kids? I don't know. I don't really see anything. That's cool.

Might be the pre-workout. Wow. You see a future with a workout. No, I just like the taste. It's really sour and good. The one time I tried creatine, I had an anxiety attack. Yeah, my heart does palpitate a bit when I drink it. There's no way that's healthy for you. Yeah, there's no way.

A lot of caffeine. We do have to finish up, but I'm wondering what we've taken away from this couples counseling session. I've learned a lot about, I guess, my partner's sexual proclivity towards your friends. Necking my friends and not necessarily. That's true.

And enemies. Not just friends because you want to really cover all your bases. Viewing me as a shallow partner to you. No, guys, I love him. Look at how sweet he is.

That's the thing. It's like there might be promiscuity and adultery on one end, but it doesn't come from sadism. Right. It comes from a lack of communication. Right.

Right. It's like he said, you know, oh, two people looking at the ocean. They don't even know they exist. Like, I'm just trying to make sure that he knows I exist. Yeah. Because if I'm pregnant and it could belong to any of his friends, he's going to fucking pay attention. Oh, huge news. Avital's pregnant? I'm pregnant and it could belong to any of his friends he's going to fucking pay attention huge news Avital's pregnant I'm pregnant

holy shit congratulations I got you an edamame cheese cheese what is this shit? Tomato town Name the game

Do you care about clearing any of this or does it matter? This has been mft couples counseling this show is sponsored by better help you know if you had an extra hour in your day, a lot of people would spend that very differently than the one sitting next to them. Maybe person A would go for a run, person B would take a nap, and patient zero would read a book.

The point is, a lot of us spend our time and our lives wishing we had more hours in the day. And the question is, what is that time for? And if time was unlimited, how would you use it? The best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority. Thus therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it. I'm in therapy every week and I benefit from it personally as I pursue to better myself and be a better version of myself today than I was yesterday. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just therapy. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.

Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash whatsthat today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash whatsthat. Thanks, BetterHelp. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions.

And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day. Like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe. And their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water.

I'll have my AG1, and then I'll have my coffee. And it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we've partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's DrinkAG1.com slash what's that?

Check it out. You hit me. Stop it. It's already played for too long long you just finished playing a different song he started over amir was talking in the middle yeah he kind of yeah Right? Audiences deserve to see this dance party. She started over and Mir was frowning. Yeah. Shit's a vibe this is what you do when you're working when you're like i'm busy i'm on the zoom this is what's happening 10 of the time yeah

Welcome to Faye Dunaway or Destry Spielberg on a runway? Destry? I'm going to be bad at this one. Have you guys ever played Faye Dunaway or Destry Spielberg on a runway? Destry Spielberg? Who's that? I went to school with her.

She's the son of Steven Spielberg. Sorry, daughter. You are sorry. Sorry for saying her name and sorry for calling her a son. Son of Spielberg just kind of sounds better than daughter of Spielberg, Destry.

It's true, the alliteration. She actually dated a buddy of mine. Who cares? All right, let's just fucking get it over. This is already going poorly. All right. So this game, the name of the game is Faye Dunaway or Destry Spielberg on a runway. So basically, I'm going to play a sound and you have to tell me whether it's Faye Dunaway

or Destry Spielberg on a fashion runway because she is a model. What if it's Faye Dunaway on a runway and you can't really tell who's on the runway? Ferris cut that out. Wait, why? What's the Destry Spielberg? Like, that's not even part of it. Couldn't it be anyone? Because it's Faye Dunaway and then anybody on a runway.

Why did you choose? Yeah, Faye Dunaway or Amir Blumenfeld on a runway. It seemed like you chose Destry Spielberg for a specific reason reason to name drop that you know spielberg's son daughter i don't know her i had like a class with her and then she dropped out all right continue you're trying to make her look like a failure who can't commit to anything let's just play the game otherwise it'll never end look i'm not gonna sit here and act like i'm better than destry but at a certain point yeah like i've kind of built this show from the ground up with no help from the network that's for damn fucking sure that's all right what does she do she puts clothes on and walks down an aisle okay i do like that you're

biting the hand that feeds you that in front of marty and amir you're like no help from the network because that is fucking baller that is thank you you are forging your own path paving your own way not really standing up to the man I actually got an email from Forever Dog asking for a general meeting that's not a joke

forward me that email they're a podcast network alright here we go just say it whenever you're ready what kind of little treat do you give yourself or what kind of signal

is there Fade Dunaway that was Fade Dunaway I should mention that this is all for cash. First one to get it wins. That's $10 to Marty, and it's $10 for every wrong answer. Wait, what? But why was that for Marty?

What did Marty do that he gets $10? Oh, he got it first. He got his answer first. What did he say? He said Faye Dunaway. All right, here we go. I said Faye Dunaway. This is bullshit.

Zoolander. Runway? Correct! That's Destry Spielberg on a runway show. That's going to be Marty with $20. Oh, no. And Avital, you owe me $10. What?

Because of the Zoolander. Oh, for every wrong answer, you owe me cash slash money. You didn't say that. Okay, fine. I'll give you $10, I guess. Well, you look just like a little hippie. Mickey Mouse on the runway. Faye Dunaway.

That's correct. Avital Yomi, $20. Now I'm your IOU 10. Here we go. What? Oh, wait. Faye Dunaway was correct? Yep.

I'm not going to talk about it. Maybe one thing I'm going to say about it, and that's all. Faye Dunaway was correct? Yep. I'm not going to talk about it. Maybe one thing I'm going to say about it and that's all. Faye Dunaway. That's absolutely correct. $20 to Amir. Avital, you're breaking even. Marty, you're $20 up. But, you know, you, yeah.

That doesn't mean that your day is going to end up being good. Faye Dunaway. Spielberg? paid done away spielberg that was destry spielberg yeah so i mean you're up 30 i would tell you i'm 10 marty you're 20. that's correct all right i'll be telling breaking even marty 20 amir at 30. All right, I'll be tell breaking even Marty 20 Amir at 30 Oh, he pulled out my earbud again That's correct $30 to Amir and Marty being Venmo'd right now. One fucking second. This is so fucked up.

This is a sexist. Frankly. You got so many of them. There's only two answers. This is misogyny on full display. You guessed Mickey Mouse at one point. Mickey Mouse. It was Mickey Mouse.

That's correct. Tons of cash spent on that wine. I'm going to owe you $30. Holy shit, he's doing it. Spending tons of cash on reds and I can see that he's talking because his

lips are moving, but I couldn't hear any of it. Yeah, on the actual podcast, they like, they fudged with the level so that Jeffrey is understandable.

But here for us, we never. You don't know what he says? Okay, great. So it's a lot of non sequiturs probably tons of cash spent on reds and whites awful wine basically

red wine i'm learning french have you guys ever been to amsterdam yeah i have i have i have i have not uh it's a lot of fun you have yeah yeah i have to i don't know you're just not listening to us anymore would you say that it was like an eat pray love moment no well i went with my dad and i was like 12 so probably not shit i pressed the button by accident i was if you had said it was an eat pray love moment i was going to like you were steadfast on playing that clip regardless of her answer. And then she said she went with her. Sorry, my fingers slipped again.

And what about Amir? Are you going to ask him or is that a sexist question? Because women love to eat, pray, love. Yeah, I can eat, pray, love too. Did you eat, pray, love? Did you have an Eat, Pray, Love moment? No, I was. Sorry.

I was like, I keep expecting all of us to have an Eat, Pray, Love moment. We did a show. Fade on away. That's correct. Another $10 to fucking... Because you know Fade on Away, she lived in England for a decade, and she kind of had an Eat, Pray, Love decade. You owe me another $10.

I know. I'm fun. I didn't know I could get rich on this show. I would have behaved differently. You'll come back again someday, and you'll make a lot of money. Okay, great. Some people... Caleb Heron made $1,300 on this show.

And that's not a joke. No, he did not. Is that really? That's really, yeah. I can show this round. Jeffrey sort of promised him a lot of cash and then he ended up Venmoing him. Yeah, over $1,000. Is that true?

One second. I'll show you the Venmo here. Here we go. This is unbelievable. How do I get in on that? I think you just have to befriend Caleb and wait till he plays his own game and just sort of, you could win Ben Stein's money in a way. No,

but, but Caleb won Jeffrey's money. Wow. You shouldn't have that much in your Venmo. It seems like. I want that. I pay rent through Venmo. What's BH?

What's the, what are we, what are we talking about? Nothing. You just showed it to us. What is BH? Beverly Hills? That was actually,

okay. So the story goes that I Venmo'd him $1,300. That was my rent for the month and I couldn't not have that cash. So I begged him to Venmo it back, and the only way that he did that was if I were to proposition slash pressure Marty to put the new HeadGum Studio as close to Boyle Heights as possible, which is where Caleb lives. You've been doing that. Is that true? You've been doing that. You've been doing that. Well, that's true.

I had no idea. It's weird wave. He's extorting you. I will sign that lease. Well, it was a good spot. Like, it's not just to get it close to Caleb. Your rent is cheap. That's a good deal.

Don't challenge your boss on air. That's a major key alert. Your employees and girlfriend now, in light of all the news from this show. Yeah, I mean, there's been a lot of, like, revelations in the last 40 minutes between the swinging the Boyle Heights the idea that you took a general

at forever dog I feel like in a very short amount of time my world has changed shattered yeah yeah irreplaceably so what's the next game fucking Doritos or Fritos or something and then we have to hear the noises.

You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. You can't touch this. My, my, my, my. You can't touch this. What do we want to not touch after we're vaccinated? For me, I'm probably not going to like go around touching the gum that falls on the sidewalk and creates little black

circles were you doing that before i would pick it up and chew it like elf yeah that's tricky will we still touch each other do you think yeah probably i mean i wouldn't see any difference between pre-vaccine what's that vaccine well just we're discussing if we were going to stop touching each other is all i I don't think so. That could be interesting, actually. Really? Sort of an eat, pray, love moment. No, it's not. There's nothing to do with that. Well, I'll be busy eating,

praying, and loving other people. The question should really be what are we going to do? Not what won't we do. You said the magic word, Marty. Fuck yeah. You said the magic word of the week which is r here we go that's a thousand dollars bad mode to marty what for saying i'm sure we said it i'm sure we all said oh no no are we gonna keep touching each other no yeah i've had eagle ears i've had

hawk ears the entire episode nobody said r there's a hawk that flies around my house. It's pretty cool. She's scoping out the D situation. She's going to try to lift her up when she's not looking. 400 pound pit bull. Don't underestimate a hawk. You've always said that. When are you guys going to bring the little guy over?

Luke? Yeah. He's staring at us. He's staring at us and shaking. I don't know why. He could be a fun toy for Delilah. Must be the hawk noises. He could be a toy. He has to be an equal, a friend. Luke? Yeah He's staring at us He's staring at us and shaking I don't know why I feel scared or something He could be a toy He has to be an equal

a friend They could be friends for a minute You're threatening us Oh god I'm just saying bring Luke over see what happens

See what happens I got a thousand dollars in the bank ready to spend on Luke Bring him on over Can't nobody tell me nothing I got the dollars in the back. Dollars in the back.

Jeffrey looks so sad. No, it's just we're coming to the end of the show and I don't want this to be how it ends. Talking about bullshit, right? Nothing funny, nothing usable. That was a fun little wrap-up moment. We were talking about the money, the Eat, Pray, Love. Well, you would think that because you're shallow.

So what kind of deep topics would you like to get into that was an e-pray love moment we're back we're back we're vaxxed uh we're waxed are you guys gonna get a i'm sorry to say this but are you guys gonna get brazilians see i told you it's a thing right waxed and vaxxed is a thing what is that amir thought he made it up but he didn't right it's a thing i did a bit on this show a couple months ago that I said once we're all fully vaxxed, are you guys going to get that ass waxed? But then somebody else I know posted vaxxing on wax. Is it a trending thing?

I think it's a trending topic. But I do think that I'm going to do it. I think I'm going to, for the Vine slash on the day, I'm going to get my ass waxed. I was also talking about, because the vaccine is intramuscularly administered, and I'm like, who's stopping anybody from getting their backs and their acts?

Yeah, you do constantly bring that up. Don't request that. For the booster? Yeah. Why? It should be on your shoulder. You can't just stand up on the chair, take your pants off and say, I'd like asinally and give me the booster the booster and my keister nice nice

the booster keiston like buster keaton oh i thought it was like keystone park or something yeah it was a buster Keaton joke. Plugs. You guys excited for Mortal Kombat tomorrow? What's that? The movie on HBO, Mortal Kombat. Yeah, I don't know. It looks pretty cool. Are you guys in it?

No. So why would you watch it? I used to play the game as a kid, and they made movies when we were kids. I watch shit. I'm in shit. That's it. Shit! Yeah. Together. I watch shit. I'm in shit. That's it.

Shit! Yeah. Together. The one movie I was in is the only movie we can see in this home. We watched it over and over. Harold and Kumar 3 or whatever. Or whatever.

How dare you? Hey, no, it's okay. He's all right. He's all right. It's a weird tentpole squeak-wool to a fine series. It's a Christmas version or something. A three-dimensional squeak-wool for your information.

No, it wasn't. I've never seen her this upset. I've never seen her this pissed. They did glasses. The 3D glasses. They did those flimsy red and blue joints. What about John Cho? Hold me back.

Hold me back. She's really pissed off. She loves the movie. Do you keep in touch with Cal and John? Amir's naked in it. I don't still speak to them but yeah I am nude I'm nude in the film

on the day do you have their numbers I mean I might have like from like 10 years I don't know if they've changed their phones but you asked for plugs and now you're just asking

for Cal Penn's phone number well you know what they say it is what it is yeah we can do plugs oh we should say you guys live say two birds with one stone Los Angeles, California Yeah, we can do plugs. Oh, we should say, you guys live, say, two birds with one stone.

Los Angeles, California. How do you have it memorized? He has all our ads. It's fucking insane. You do send us stuff. Plugs. What do we have going on? Punked or otherwise?

Check out my web series, Anti-Social Distance. It's her web series. He's in it. Well, I didn't write or direct it, but I acted in it, so I't write or directed it but i acted in it so i feel like i could take ownership as the man of the house oh my god stock in what my woman did it is now my show to have and to hold oh my god that's so hot not really

not at all like even if it was like like domination thing, it wasn't sexy at all. Why? It was just weird. I took credit for. The diction was strange. No, because I think it's good. Look, I say everybody here except for Marty can say my show, Antisocial Distance. Because we're all in it.

Yeah. It's all of our shows. And Marty, maybe we'll have to write you a sequel. Write me in. A sequel. A three-dimensional squeakquel. Write me in. Devastated from the creatine anti-freatine

it takes a toll on the body before you get it your heart has been racing for such if you don't work it out can i tell you yes anti-social distance that that jake and amir fans are commenting that it made them cry yeah which is pretty big i feel like it is. I feel like they're all pretty heartless. Yeah. Yeah. Like my following on TikTok and Instagram is primarily female, like 70-30 favoring my gender. And the people that have watched this series so far is like 70-30 the other way because it's a head gum. Passover2020.com.

Avital, you want to plug your social media? At Avital Ash on TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, baby. Marty? I'm high on pre-workout and creatine and ready to soar. Oh, my God. Ready to soar. Kid Marty across platforms. I'll just plug it for you.

Yeah, thanks, man. Oh, I thought you were frozen, but you actually just stayed in that position for a long time, which makes me think you are a good dancer. Cheers! Cheers! And you can follow me on Instagram, at Jeffreyrey james on twitter at jeff boyardee and check out all the shows on uh head gum uh that's what marty should have said marty no i didn't say it would say it again so that i can say it i wasn't you're crashing

yeah absolutely crashing it's way too much energy at the beginning and i don't think that's even because of my performance on this show it's's from the Kool-Aid. Yeah. Amir's not here to say goodbye. So maybe I'll do my impression like. Yeah. Do your Amir. Okay, Jeff.

Goodbye. Bye. Jeffrey, this is me saying goodbye. That's the most animated he has ever been in his entire life. All right. We'll catch you on the flip. Diesel? That was a Hiddem original.