The Headgum Podcast - 49: Downtown

Episode Date: May 7, 2021

Jake, Micah, and Marika join Geoff to discuss Haagen Dasz, famous Gerards, and "Downtown" by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis!BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. That would suck to just have my grandson dig into me every holiday season. I would fucking rail into him. Racism has no part at my family dinner. I don't care if you're 98. I'm going to let you have it. I'm going to pull up a PowerPoint and just show him exactly explicitly though his days on this earth are numbered it would feel so good he has to be vehemently anti-racist now more than ever and i'm gonna make him i will teach an old doc new tricks and i will berate that old bastard in front of his

entire fucking family if that's what it takes I will shove him out of the living room onto the ground because I have zero tolerance towards hate speech shoving him is risky though because he has like bone density issues

because he doesn't get enough zinc because he stopped eating meat because of his cholesterol so it's kind of like a catch 22 if he eats the meat, zinc goes away strong bones, if he doesn't get enough zinc because he stopped eating meat because of his cholesterol so it's kind of like a catch 22 if he eats the meat zinc goes away strong bones if he doesn't eat the meat can't really digest it cholesterol goes up and you shove him because you could just educate him

calmly about anti-racism you don't have to push him out of the room into a different room basically starting a WWF style brawl using the couches as like the ring right it's just that last thanksgiving he kind of beat the shit out of me so i really feel like now i have carte blanche access to hit the old man with a chair when he's not working what did you say that made him beat the shit out of you i accidentally used an antiquated term

and he was kind of offended by that and uh so you're the yeah he sort of bossed me around yeah and then he almost killed you what do you mean bossed you around he shoved me he pushed me out of the living room and you know i have that bone density thing so i fell down and kind of like i cracked my so when you texted me trying to get sympathy, you were trying to elicit sympathy. You said, hey, my grandfather's really going through the ringer right now. And you texted me all that shit about the bone density thing, the cholesterol. That was all you? Yes, the cholesterol and the bone density were me.

The grandfather beating the shit out of me. That was him. Yeah. Yeah. I don't see what the problem with them is, okay. Well, because there's like two really peaky things that they're not the exact same old, but it's fine. Maybe they are. Welcome to another edition of the HeadGum Podcast,

Friday, April 30th. We're almost in the Ides of May. And my eyes are getting better. They're getting wetter. That's good. What's that? I said that's good, man. Micah, basically I was diagnosed with not only blepharitis, but also MGD, which you

have to understand is my bomean gland dysfunction. So the tear glands that excrete the oil. Yeah. Layer. You're nodding your head. Like I think I get oil, the oil tears. See the tear film is made up of three different types of tears. The aqueous layer, another layer that I'm forgetting the name of and the oil layer.

And the oil layer is what seals it all in. That's the envelope. That's the, if it fits, it ships. And mine hasn't fit for the better part of a college tenure so i i started lipoflow i don't know what else to say so you dry eyes is that what it is yes and you start taking something to make them oily i started a monthly treatment of lipoflow so basically it's this device they put on your eyes and under your eyelids and it massages the glands i'm honestly impressed that you know so much about this even though it's your eyes because it's so boring and like even if it

was happening to my eyes i feel like if a doctor was telling me i would have my i would have like you know sorry for the reference but my eyes would have glazed over and I would have been like, I'm not going to remember. With that oil layer. With that fucking oily ass layer that you wish you could get. Are you starting a smoke machine? Oh, that's my humidifier. Also for the eyes. Oh my God.

It's dense. It's a dense vapor. It's fog, yeah, because I live in a desert climate and also in a basement. So you kind of have to have as wet as possible. I keep it at 60% humidity. Aren't basements usually more humid? Yeah. Because they're underground.

Wow. Do you not have your soundboard? Do you not have your soundboard? I felt like that would have been a bomb moment. Yeah, it was the perfect opportunity. Yeah? Okay. So you haven't heard any of this?

You haven't heard this? Nope? You haven't heard this? Nope. You didn't hear what I said? No, we didn't hear that. Okay, and you didn't hear... Let's start with the major key alert of the day. If your eyes are dry, there's an 80% chance that you have

meibomian gland dysfunction. So I would go to an eye institute, not unlike the Arthur Benjamin Eye Institute, on institute on the sunset strip of all places and start lipoflow i mean the only thing that it can hurt is your pocketbook right i just spend the money that i made on doge on lipoflows sorry to hear that you just you shouldn't give medical advice i shouldn't get financial or medical advice especially yeah tied in with crypto are you sure the doctor didn't tell you the way that you put eye drops in i feel like you're over watering them is the lipoflow something you get is a procedure at the office or you put it in yourself it's a treatment done at the office

it's not surgery it's just a device that massages your oil glands, the meibomian glands. It unclogs them. It allows you to basically secrete more oil into your eyes. I'm sorry, brother. I beg you not to ask him another question about his eyes. No, please. I'd love to wax.

I just didn't know if that was the lipoflows that he was putting into that. It makes him wax oily. I also really, I feel like i need to comment on the fact that when jeff put in eye drops just now his mouth was the widest i've ever seen it open it's absolutely a gape head tilt um but dropping things into his eyes instead we're all long hair brethren in a way marie you've always had long hair the length that I've known you, like the time rather.

And then Micah and Jake, you guys, you're also rocking the long hair. What are your plans for your hair? I'm going to trim it when it gets to my ass. I want it just above. When it hits the crack, that's when I trim it to go to the mid back. That's my plan.

Still too long. That's the idea for the foreseeable future when it gets to your ass which is obviously a gape you could also get a haircut up to the nape that's true that's true if my ass is a gape i go up to the nape and if my ass is the is just a crack then i go up to my back yeah so it's, it incentivizes me not to bend over as much when my hair is super long, just in case I'm around a barber who's heard the podcast

and will call me out on my shit. Because I don't want to go up to the nape, not from the ass. Micah, what about you? No plans, man. Imagine going to a barber that's heard this podcast. I really wouldn't trust that barber to cut.

No, you can't be around me with scissors. Sorry. No plans. You're just letting it flow, letting it go, letting it grow. That's right. Yeah. That sounds like a down to the ass plan if we're being honest though. Are you guys down to the tits or down to an ass man?

So are you going to cut it when it gets to your chest or cut it when it gets to your ass? What about you? What are you thinking? I don't know. I wanted to grow it to like shoulder length and it's almost there in the back. But now it's like, now I'm starting to hate how it looks. So I keep it up.

You never wear it down? Let's see it down. I wear it down sometimes. Wow. I liked the length that it was like a month ago. Wow. This one also good. That's fucking epic.

Bad style. Yeah, middle part. That's good. Yeah, you gotta keep it. I think it's gonna look really cool in like two months. Wow. This one also good. That's fucking epic. Bad style. Yeah, middle part. That's good. Yeah, you got to keep, I think it's going to look really cool in like two months. Yeah. It looks cool now, but.

Yeah, see like that, it looks nice. It looks great. And Marika, any plans for cutting yours? I have not gotten enough, like a real haircut, I want to say since high school. What? There it is before before the pandemic i was trimming my hair like every time that i got it cut it was just a trim so i haven't gotten it like styled since

high school i think wow but i used to get my hair chemically straightened and that was always a huge ordeal and like it costs so much money and I stopped doing that. So I have been trying to trim it at home, but I have not done that in a while too. I need to get my hair done. I might get braids. I don't know. I've been doing little twisty things myself, but it's annoying to do every week. Jake and Mike, I guess. How do your significant others feel about the long hair?

Have they said anything? Jill is supportive and she likes it sometimes. And then sometimes she says something that makes me feel like she hates it all the time. Can you give an example? She'll say, when are you going to get a haircut? But like other times she touches it and she like runs her hand through it like she likes it. And she will say that, that it looks good. So I'm like, you like it a little bit, but then sometimes she'll be like, when are you going to get a haircut? Yeah. And one time she sent me a link to a barber. Yeah. And whenever I say the, that I'm going to cut it when it's down to my ass thing, she gets kind of upset.

Mike, what about you? What's your girlfriend's name? Tracy? Olivia. Why would you guess Tracy? Does she ever go by Tracy? She does, actually. Yeah.

That's what her family calls her. Okay. Her family named her Olivia. Right. For short. For different. She said, she doesn't care. I pressed her on it. And when I pressed her on it, she's like, I think it'll look good short. For different. She said, she doesn't care. I pressed her on it.

And when I pressed her on it, she's like, I think it'll look good short when you do cut it. It was actually really uncomfortable. You gripped her wrist super hard. I wanted an answer. But she doesn't care. She said, when you choose, which is inevitable, she's saying, when you choose to get it cut short, that'll be good. But for now. She's neutral.

She's neutral. It is what it is. It is what it's neutral what's happened to the soundboard the soundboard has been modernized sub-optimized jeff stood up and is doing the ice in my veins thing. What is that? I'm going to go on record saying I hate that trend. Not the ice in my veins. I hate the she trend.

I love it. I don't like it. I didn't even know it was a trend, but I hate it too. I hate it too. And it's also bad because if it catches on any further to the point where I learn about it, then Amir is going to do it for 10 years. And it's not. We cannot have it be a damn Daniel.

I've been trying to get him on it. He seems to be averse to it. He likes Vine shit. Yeah. But some of this is Vine. Like, ah! Gotti! Gotti!

That's a vine. This is such a weird bit because like you're doing, what you're doing is the, you're doing the voice along with the soundboard, which is only for us because no one listening will see that performance and we all hate it. So to what end, man? To what end? Who knows?

But it's about the journey for me i think for me what i've kind of recontextualized during covid and i'd love to hear your guys's like biggest lessons morals learned you know it doesn't you have to find happiness in the now not in the potential future like i can't be like well until i get another staff writing job i'm not gonna be happy i have to figure out a way to be happy in this kind of scenario where i'm with like scoundrels and miscreants and uh how did you curate the new sounds i searched on outdated vines i searched best vines of all times and then i've uh basically took my favorite tiktok trends so like uh micah have you heard this we got a number one victory pulling a lot of the weight around here

I hate it I never want to listen to that song I'm sorry I didn't realize you were a zoomer I don't use TikTok you're better for it okay kind of interesting I was just reading this article no i was just reading this article on

forbes obviously don't read empire during the podcast thanks media moguls jake and amir yeah continuing their dynasty he he oversold us for sure but i'm not going to correct him i think that's that's a good error in journalism to call us moguls, et cetera, et cetera. Here's the quote from you. We're little business boys. We can't help ourselves. Not really. Yeah.

Right? Because like you started HeadGum on a whim slash dare. And then like, sorry, I shouldn't, maybe I shouldn't air that publicly because you guys A year and a half of planning. Yeah. On a dare. But like the whole thing. It wasn't a dare.

What's that? I said it was, you said it was a dare like thrice. And I've just, I'm trying to nip that in the bud as it were. Well, you started it on a dare and eventually got funding from Union Square. I see you did it for the rhyme. It was for the rhyme. It was, yeah. And it is about, that one wasn't about the journey.

It was about the destination. Wait, so you're done. We're not going to keep growing it. We're not going to try and keep growing the team and the revenue like you make it seem like the investment from union square ventures is the end all be all when did i say that when did i mike uh how is your relationship going i feel like i could learn a thing or two from the throngs of you go back go back to what it was before um good it's good you're michael doesn't clearly doesn't want to talk about it with jeff but that could also be read as the relationship is bad so that's true

well the thing is that the thing is i was an mft last week on this show and i really i think helped flat at least bring some things to light from avital and Amir's relationship. So I'm wondering if you call Olivia right now. That won't do that. Really? No. I have like 30 minutes based off of that call.

I really thought it was going to go that way. Okay, let's figure this out. Marika, big launch day. HeadGum store. HeadGum podcast merch. Merch is out. Let's talk about it. There's like three shirts, two sweatshirts, some stickers, a hat.

It's really great. Lots of What's That merch if you want to really disarm people in public. Highly recommend. It's really comfortable. Put a lot of work into it and it's there and you can buy it now. Can we talk about the VAT charges and tariff codes for Hungary? I would love to. VAT is, you know, very complicated and I definitely understand it in full and could wax for hours. I could wax VAT.

Vax VAT? VAT's VAT? VAT's VAT we should make we should pitch Haagen-Dazs on a new ice cream have you guys talked about Dots-Dazs? we haven't the week that we started talking about it was the final audit and then I forgot to talk about it the next two weeks

after that we should wax Dots the week that we started talking about it was the final audit and then I forgot to talk about it the next two weeks after. Wow. But yeah, we should wax Dawes. What are you guys' thoughts on Dawes? That's Dawes. For any amount of context, this is Hog and Dawes' new

social media slogan for their ice cream that we have now just taken to saying in Slack. Let me look back at the HQ moment that they brought it up. I think Pyle might have sent it. Really? It comes up on my

Twitter all the time and it makes me laugh every time. Yeah, Amir sent this a couple weeks ago on April 8th. He said, I found a tagline worse than what's that? And it's Hug and and does and he says there's vanilla then there's our vanilla hashtag that's does that's does that's does hashtag that's does that's does folks and then marika said what's that that's does Oz. What are we doing?

I should have said that before. What the fuck are we talking about? It's in a Haagen-Dazs boardroom. What the fuck are we doing? I mean, it is a non-speedish company. That's the craziest thing. It's like based in New Jersey. Made to sound that way.

What? Amir said this fact, and I thought it was a joke, but it's like a New Jersey company that called itself Haagen-Dazs because it's a Danish sounding word. That's crazy. Micah just said the word of the week. Danish?

Danish, yeah. Absolutely. He got it. It's $1,000, right? That's $1,000 over Venmo. That's awesome. Can I do it Danish? No, it only worked once. I'm going to probably request you for that cash. I'll keep looking at my phone.

Yeah, definitely make sure it goes through. Make sure to deposit it immediately. Micah's taking his phone off airplane mode. The fast deposit that you have to pay. So if there's any interruption in the quality of our audio, Micah took his phone off the airplane mode. But it's worth it. Yeah, it's worth it.

That means $1,000. My Venmo's been suspended. Suspicious activity. Are you on cash now? PayPal? I'm on Apple Pay, but I can't help but feel like I don't have the cash is the other thing.

It's like this was what I was trying to send and then now it's saying your account's been blocked from sending transfers. I don't see that notification. That really sucks because now I can't pay rent. I have to figure out something because I have to give the cash to my roommate. They're going to have

to deposit it in their account and then Venmo our landlord. And I wonder if we can get Emma Seligman on the show. Who? Director of Shiva Baby. Oh, yeah. Great. It'd be cool. Can't wait to see it. Because she's kind of funny.

Are the fans clamoring for the old soundboard to come back? Like, it feels like this would be soundly rejected by any true heads out there, right? No, for sure. And that's why I am deleting the ones that I added last week. That one comment is going to stick with me for a couple months.

From what I can see, people did like the sheesh one. People like sheesh. Sheesh! I was going to say. Sheesh! I hate it. And then the bubble wrap one, right? Bubble wrap one.

That's like a low ruffle. You played it in the beginning. I don't know what it was. You thought that was bubble wrap? This? Is that applause? That's people clapping. Damn, Daniel.

There it is. That one's familiar. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, if you had an extra hour in your day, a lot of people would spend that very differently than the one sitting next to them. Maybe person A would go for a run, person B would take a nap, and patient zero would read a book. The point is, a lot of us spend our time and our lives wishing we had more hours in the day. And the question is, what is that time for? And if time was unlimited, how would you use it?

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Check it out. All right. Marika Takes the Reins. Two minutes on the clock. But I got a new name for Marika Takes the Reins. You want to hear what it says? Yeah. It's, uh...

What she say. Marika Takes the Reins. And I want to know what she say. And I know it's for four minutes. So the song bleeds into the segment a little bit. It's a new name. It was just you singing over it yeah still murky takes the reins i want to talk about racing which i have recently decided to

get really into like racing no i haven't okay i haven't watched formula one yes yet because i'm it looks scary to me but i watched started watching the European Le Mans series, which meant that two weekends ago, I woke up. I set an alarm to wake up at 6 a.m. The race started at 5, but I ended up waking up at 4.50. Because you're so excited. Yeah, probably. But I got up and watched this race race and truly it was the most like, like I was solely focused on this for hours.

It was so interesting. What kind of race is it? It's car racing? Yeah, I mean, it's like basically Formula One. It's just different, a different type of car. There's like three different types of cars on the track at the same time. And they're like all in their little classifications racing how many times they go around is it like miles and miles it's like this one was four hours so

four hours like these guys are driving for four hours the entire time yeah but there's teams so they take like they take they do an hour stint and then they get out um i did full disclosure start watching this because michael fassbender is racing which i think is very funny he's in the car yeah wow uh and he did pretty well but his team got like i think eight or no seven no sixth place out of eight uh okay in their classification which was not great and it wasn't his fault, but it's crazy. I don't know. I was like, how did I watch this for like three hours nonstop?

Why was this interesting? That's all I have to say, I guess. Am I allowed to respond? I mean, I would love for you to. I don't know if Jeff will allow it. No, you can respond. You can respond. Well, I wanted to, you muted yourself

and I feel like you just opened up a new tab or something, you can respond. You can respond. Well, I wanted to... You muted yourself, and I feel like you just opened up a new tab or something. You're distracted, and I just wanted... I thought we could all engage. You're barely blinking. This is why your eyes are dry. Okay. Anyway, I was watching a Formula One documentary on the 2019 season on Netflix. Yes.

And I don't care... I was going to watch it. I really thought that I actively did not care about racing. And I really love this documentary. It's great. Makes you care about everybody. It teaches you a lot. And also because there are so many Formula One races,

I feel like sometimes you watch a documentary where like, it's too, I don't, there's just, there's like a race or two every single episode. So there's always something going on and that's great. Yeah. And then it made me not watch racing yet,

but I started looking at the scores or like where people placed online. There was a period like three weeks ago where I would just pull up the like live timing and just like watch the scoreboard. Yeah. I don't know know why but it was like i feel really cool like i'm just looking at a chart of numbers but i kind of understand it it's pretty it's really bad is it cool because of the drivers and you like like their personalities yeah the drivers are cool the personalities are cool and also i forget what is what are the formula one events called there're are they based

on like the tracks maybe oh no it no it's not grand prix it's what i'll i'll think of it but whatever it is they do you know they go it's it's like james bondy they go like all over the world they're like yeah in croatia then they're in paris isn't that one in Monaco? That's like super cool. Who fucking cares? I knew this was coming. Right? We have to move on. Otis Grand Prix. By the way, you said who cares? You said who cares?

We have to move on and kind of like three people were actively engaging and we were having a nice time. And you said who cares. And then we moved on. So I think it was only you should have said, I don't care. This is why I don't like to talk anymore. Welcome to the worst. Stealing a segment from me and Micah's podcast. Downtown edition. Okay. A a little bit it is that but I was doing it

because I wanted to also promote goat show here actually thank you I appreciate it this is a bigger podcast so that's helpful in the WOTE section we're promoting the goat show in the worst section of the podcast actually I didn't think about it like that you know I didn't think about it like that either my know, I didn't think about it like that either.

My thinking was that this segment, it was already going to be woat. And then I was like, oh, we can talk about Goat Show. Do you guys want to plug the show? Yeah, let's. Why don't we do a little thing? Like, I feel like if you don't have room in your phone to subscribe to multiple podcasts,

unsubscribe from this one, subscribe to the Goat Show. I don't know about that. I think maybe if you made a rating for this show you could you could no i really need every listen i get there well why don't we just i feel like if you have to there's also like it doesn't take up more space to subscribe to a podcast it only takes up more space if you download episodes which nobody does i wonder which one has a bigger back catalog i feel like this one so that probably takes up more space if you download episodes, which nobody does. I wonder which one has a bigger back catalog. I feel like this one, so that probably takes up more space.

So for that reason. This is un-fucking-believable. Fine, now it is the WOTE. Wow. And the truth comes out! No, it changed. The truth changed. You know, I'm just going to go into it.

Basically, have you guys heard Song Exploder? Yeah. So this is like that, but instead of exploding slash exploring the best songs of the day, we're exploring the WOTE song of today. And that song is Downtown by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. We're going to go line by line.

Here we go. This is a new Macklemore song? Old, yeah, from like 2013 or something. Wait. wait also this is punch up the jam this concept is our other podcast it's already a bad intro right it's already yeah you know it's i was dancing to it it reminds me of that song I'm not crazy I'm just a little downtown girl right now

in the moped I was listening to this song in the car with a friend the other day and it's the worst you guys gotta listen to these lyrics what I remember about the song is that yes he goes to the moped store and says fuck it he's trying to buy a moped or whatever it's not just the first two lines

that are about mopeds let's take a listen went to the moped store said fuck it salesman's like what up what's your budget and I'm like honestly I don't know nothing about mopeds he said I got the one for you follow me it's too real

I don't need a windshield banana seat I can't be on two wheels 800 cash that's a hell of a deal i'm headed downtown cruising through the i mean all right again i'm gonna stop it way too intense it's yeah i mean that's a parody song for sure like it's not it's not a parody song but it it has the like it has the vibe of that like it's not it doesn't feel real yeah like macklemore came up with the song was the thrift store or the pawn shop or whatever it was like thrift shop thrift shop like it feels like that

song was you know good for macklemore yeah and then he leaned in really hard on trying to recreate that with this and he made like a pair like a cartoony version yeah thrift shop which was already a little cartoony but like just just enough it was silly enough to be like oh this song's cool and it's kind of silly no i couldn't agree more when did this come out in the context of same love because like did he try to go did he try to go what he thought was serious and then backpedal when people didn't like that? Okay, so Same Love came out in 2012. So you're exactly right, Marika.

That looks to be exactly what happened. Thrift Shop was also 2012. So Thrift Store came out. They're in the same album. Really? Same album, I think, yeah. So I guess he threw both darts at the same time. Let's keep going here.

Half the course is about eating ass. Did you hear that? No, but that sounds about right. I mean, that's good. I don't mind a song about eating ass. Like that, stick that, break her off, Kit Kat. So we've gone from mopeds to cruising through alleys downtown on a moped, and then out of nowhere eating ass.

All right. Backstage, you don't need a wristband Dope Killing the game, about to catch a bite Deep, past the heartbeat, dookie, I'm the Ducati Timberland, Khaled, Scott Storch Birdman, goddamn man, everybody got Bugattis But I'ma keep a hell of 1987 Head into the dealership and drop a second cup of Kawasaki I'm stunning on everybody, hella rap, pesto, wasabi I'm so low that my scorn is almost dragging up on the concrete My seat is 11, I ride a mine, it's predatory

You have to pause it. What are you talking about? It's entirely about mopeds. It's all about mopeds. No, but he said that he shit on his mopeds. He shit on a Ducati, which is not a moped, which is just a motorcycle. And then he might drop a stack on a kawasaki which i think is some kind of moped brand that like this is something that's another bike nobody fucking knows what you're

talking about macklemore and it's not niche in like an interesting way it's niche in like a you're a weird hobbyist this song's nine minutes long right it's five minutes long it's a jam band song here we go. Let's see. Fuck a bus pass. You have a moped, man. You got a moped, man. Does it rhyme with anything? Let's hear that back one more time.

It's also like the crescendo into it my seat is leather i ride a mine it's pleather but girl we can still ride together you don't need a uber you don't need a cab fuck a bus pass you got a moped man okay so he rhymes man with cab it's a slant yeah all right interesting should have done that he could have done it with the van 88 mariah carey here very rare mom jeans on her derriere throwing up the west side as we Alright interesting He could have done it with Van Did he say He said throwing fish to it Why did I think that he was in LA But now he's at Pike's place Downtown It's five different songs Why did I think that he was in LA, but now he's at Pike's place?

Downtown! It's five different songs. Who is he throwing a fish to? A player. Downtown! Interesting. Downtown! Downtown! Downtown!

Oh my god. Oh, this is nice. This is good. Is it? I like this. Yeah, this is... Warm Embrace? It's not about moped right now. Oh, no it is.

It comes back. It's about moped. It sounds like the greatest show man have you ever felt the warm embrace of a leather seat between your legs i thought it was really good right up until that part and can i also it's it goes back to the previous verse but i yeah i have a pet peeve that i never realized i had and it's hearing the word derriere in a rap song because it's just like it's an easy rhyme because derriere rhymes like you know where they are she's got 1988 Mariah Carey hair mom jeans sitting on her derriere you would never say derriere and ever it's such a gross word yeah this is the greatest show, man.

Wow, queen. Ain't seen nothing yet until you're downtown. Everyone in this song sounds like they're trying to be someone else that's more famous and better than them. Yeah, this guy's doing Busta Rhymes. Also, like, I got your girl on the back going tandem. It's all about mopeds. The entire thing. The entire fucking song. You're so mad. It should be called Moped, not Downtown.

Yeah, it has nothing to do with Downtown. What does this have to do with Downtown? So many people are Downtown not on mopeds. We went to Pike's Place. There he is. Michael Moore hasn't sung in five minutes. Yeah. I do a headstand and eagle lands on my seat Well, hello But baby, the kickstand ain't for me Do you or do you not wanna ride with me? I got one girl, I got two wheels

She a big girl, that ain't a big deal I like a big girl, I like them sassy Going down the backstreet, listening to Blackstreet Running around the whole town Neighbors yelling Running around the whole town I mean, I kind of want to stand the song as a comedy song it's extremely funny it is very funny and i do think it's a little tongue-in-cheek but also not

really at all they're so confident they're so cocky i don't i don't believe that he was trying to make a lonely island-esque song yeah but he was trying to make a serious song like jake said a la thrift Shop to repeat the success four years later. And he was riding that line where it's like, well, and if people don't like it, I can say it was a joke song. He wanted people to think it was funny, but also be like, wow, mopeds are pretty cool.

He's trying to up the value of his moped. Yeah, he bought a moped in 2013 after the success of Thrift Store, and he wanted to fucking increase the value. There it is. That's the best line in the song. I'm going 38 Dan. Yeah.

Nice. He's got, he's in the there's actually not that many layers to this song or tiramisu we'll play it again but just the I thought that was you like groaning no just listen. Let's ride it out.

It's an anthem now. I mean, oh, I see. Yeah yeah this is the part jake likes the warm embrace right of a leather seat between your legs it's like here's all of the things that i hear during this i hear like the polyphonic spree like multiple instruments sing slash like the greatest showman swelling music slash like uh lead singer of early obscure like punk band automatic love letter uh plus like like uh not pew wentz the other guy fuck what's his name patrick yeah patrick there's like too many things happening so much it's five different songs in one let's write it out ain't seen nothing yet until you're downtown you can sing little cop horrors over this

over this I mean that was a whirlwind for sure you literally you did literally save for the punch-up part copied the majority of punch up the jam instead of the jam because well a we weren't punching it up and be the

show's been gone for a while. Yeah, it's safe. Downtown. Unbelievable. It gets so bad, you almost forget how bad it starts, which is just the... I don't want to listen to it forever. I kind of want to memorize all the lyrics. There's so many points where it's like,

that's not where you should have gone with this song and it's you know that you know that point in like a like a dating app conversation where you're flirting with somebody and you like can't leave the bit yeah like all right it's time to leave the bit and talk about something real but you're just like oh but she said something about mopeds i'm gonna say something and then she says it again. Yeah. Similar energy. It just gets too deep. To be sure. All right.

Can we all agree that it was the worst? Yeah. The worst song in the world. All right. Cool. Yeah. Welcome to. Fuck that one up.

Welcome to Weyer Butler, Gerard edition. welcome to I fucked that one up welcome to way or butler gerard edition I'm gonna list off some quotes and you're gonna tell me which gerard said it butler or way

I don't know who gerard way is lead singer of my chemical romance my chemical rayman

everybody loves rayman zarek here we go you guys ready this is all for cash $10 Venmo well not Venmo but a cash app or Apple whatever pay

you could Zell me I think that was worse than a whatsapp you just stopped dead and stared at me I hated it recently I've been stank eyeing people on this show I did it last week yeah alright I love a girl with

oh my god resting Jeff face people on this show. I did it last week. Yeah. Alright. I love a girl with... Oh my god. Resting Jeff face. I love a girl with a good sense of humor who is confident but has a sweetness to her. That melts my heart. Way. No. Butler. Way.

Okay, so Marika and Micah, you got it wrong. Jake, you got it right. I owe Jake 10. Marika, Micah, you owe it wrong. Jake, you got it right. I owe Jake 10. Marika, Micah, you owe me 10. Wait, there's only one question? And we owe you money? Oh, yeah, if you get it wrong, you owe me 10. You haven't played in a minute, huh?

You didn't say that, though. You said if you get it right, you'll bet me 10. Yeah, I don't know. I guess that's the consequence of not listening to the show week to week. Here we go. As soon as I go into a Starbucks, I take off my sunglasses. I want to be recognized, and i want free coffee wow gotta be way that's absolutely correct you guys all got it right uh marika micah breaking even

jake is up 20 here we go oh we should say jake that your your house easy well it's up for rent yeah okay i'm wondering if we get another style tenant. I don't want anyone who listens to this show living in my house. All right. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Butler. What's that? Butler. What do you mean, what's that?

You clearly said Butler. What's your answer, Jake? I say Butler, too. Micah, Marika, Yomi, 10. Jake, I owe you 10. All right, here we go. That was wrong. It's actually Gerard Way who said that, if you can believe it.

Here we go. The chance to be both artistically appreciated and commercially appreciated. That's what you hope for. Way. Way. Butler. So the Horitz twins did lose out there. Micah owes me 20.

Jake's breaking even. Marika owes me nothing. Here we breaking even. Mariko owes me nothing. Here we weigh. I pity you all. Butler. Sorry, I thought here we weigh was a clip. Oh, come on. I'm joking.

I don't want to fucking owe you cash for that. Daddy, chill. I pity you all. Most of you will die. Scratch that. All of you. Butler. Weigh.

If I'm not mistaken, Mariko owes me 30 jake owes me nothing who was that that was gerard way he said i pity you all all of you be dead yes in what in a song he said that in the starbucks when he wasn't recognized all right he's charged for a latte. You know that every bead of sweat falling off your head, every weight you've pumped, the history. Butler. Let me finish the quote because it might change your answer. You know that.

I have to say it all at once. Otherwise, it doesn't hit. It's one of the worst sentences ever. Okay, sorry. that's one of the worst sentences I've ever heard okay sorry you know that every beat of sweat falling off your head every weight you've pumped the history of that is all in your eyes

welcome to the black parade way that was Butler for sure Jake owes me 10 mike owes me 40 and i owe marika 10 all right here we go i sang in a rock band when i was training as a lawyer uh yeah way micah i got it wrong every single time. I'm going to say Butler. Why? That's correct. Marika, Breaking Even, Jake, you owe me 30.

Micah, you owe me 30. That was actually Gerard Butler. Fucking hell. Which is two things. One, I didn't know he trained to be a lawyer. Two, he sang in a band. All right, here we go. Last one.

Let's have a day in the life of Gerard. Going to get coffee. Going to get coffee. Going to get coffee. Way. But way. It's got to be way. He already talked about going to Starbucks. Correct.

So that's Marika. You finished the game, I think, with 20. Jake, you end owing me 20. Micah, you end owing me 40. Wow. This has been Weyer Butler Gerard Edition. Wow. I mean i mean what have we learned i feel like we learned a lot about racing i still owe my thousands actually now it's 940 960 960 you're exactly right thank you for catching me there because you did say the name the word danish which was

word of the week uh am i gonna get stanked no it's just it can only be said once for the cash but congratulations you said the word of the week i guess gonna get half the cash no there's only one cash pot here we go uh plugs here we go end of the show marika what do you have going on tell the people store.headgum.com obviously headgumpodcastmerch store.headgum.com oh my god store.headgum.com Ferris turn that into a little jingle

please don't. Oh my god. Store.HeadGum.com Yay! This is the first context that I liked it. Subscribe to the HeadGum newsletter on HeadGum.com. Scroll to the bottom. There's a little thing there. Yeah, listen to podcasts. They. Scroll to the bottom. There's a little thing there.

Yeah, listen to podcasts. They're still fun to do. And follow me on Twitter and Instagram at Marie Kaelon. Respect. If you, I would like an Instagram follow. Follow me on Instagram because I'm trying to get more followers than Amir. So I think if you follow me on Instagram and if you'll unfollow him, even for a day,

that'd be kind of cool. What is the difference between, how many do you have? It's pretty extreme, to be honest. He's got like a hundred thousand. Yeah, it's major. Well, he's doing the reels. He put in the work to do the reels.

So I think he does do the reels. He's a more entertaining follow. He posts more than me, but the follows matter to me a lot. So I feel like i just want i just want that out of boy and i unfollowed you good good um you do yeah you do have 76 000 for you versus 119 000 for amir bad how much money do you make off of uh i don't know say brothers halcyon or whatever?

Brothers Halcyon? Brothers Halcyon? Something like that, yeah. It's one of those. It's exactly what it is. It's not something like that. You're talking to two people that founded the company, so it's exactly how to pronounce it. Okay, the past week, how many sales have you guys had?

How much money have you taken home in the past month? That's actually a Micah question, and I'd encourage you not to answer it. I'm not going to answer it. Sure. Then awesome. Micah, plugs. Yeah, you're asking questions and then not caring about the answers. So I feel like that's really on you.

It's very jarring. Sorry about that. Micah, plugs. Listen to The Goat Show. It's a fun podcast where we rate and review things and it's a different thing every single episode. So you can choose an episode of something that you're interested in

or something that you're in the market for, whether that's white t-shirt. That's my favorite episode. The first one. So far. Yes. We just recorded an episode

on chinos. We rated and reviewed the best fast food french fries of all time. Yeah, that was a fun one to test actually. Cocktails was good. First dates was good.

Yeah, Mike and I went on several first dates for that episode. What did you think about our milk episode? Our milk alternative episode? Do you remember when we tried 21 milks in the office? Every time I see, like, flaxseed milk, I shudder. The pea milk? That was even worse.

Oh, my God. That sounds awful. Tendril dairy. And you can follow me on Instagram at jeffrey james on twitter at jeffboyrd check out the store.headgum.com merch and uh listen to goat show listen to an ad pod listen to review review listen to three black halflings listen to fake the nation uh any live shows coming up marika um i mean you, but you're just listing random. Okay.

This is podcasting random. I see. We Hate Movies is doing a tour soon. Yeah, but they're always doing live shows. I feel like you're either going to go or you're not. Us plugging in is not going to be the difference maker. Hey Riddle Riddle has a live show, improv, based on riddles, Friday, May 21st, 8 p.m. Central. And that is the tea.

That's when you're supposed to say, hey, great job hosting this week. Really? That was like the ending of the Oscars. Thanks so much for listening to this week's episode, guys. We'll see you guys again next week. We have a very special guest next week, actually. So this will be really fun. It's going to be gonna be a special episode stay tuned papa john's style uh catch you on the flip diesel let's get into it and then it ends right there That was a Hiddem Original.