The Headgum Podcast - 52: On the Road

Episode Date: May 28, 2021

Jake, Amir, and Marika join Geoff to discuss being "on the go," television development, and art criticism!BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Alright, my turn again. I used to keep Nicorette in my car, and when my friends would ask for a piece of gum, I'd give them nicotine addictions. This song is too long. This song is too long. Do you guys have any more or do you want me to round them out? What the hell is your problem? What, man? What's wrong with what I said?

You gave your friends nicotine addictions. Did any of them become addicted to cigarettes? Huh? Did any of them then get a cigarette addiction because of you? Sometimes when I have some free time, I submit my resume and cover letter for jobs that I'm kind of qualified for, get a job interview, do the job interview, get an offer, and then ghost the company. If you wear a janitorial outfit, you can get into any building after hours. I've robbed like 20 hedge funds.

I think he's just doing his half hour course. Yeah, where'd you pull the tune? Oh, that's nice. That's Tell Me Why by Neil Young young learn how to play it better what's that a lot of the a lot of the times it's not coming out well I'm sorry. Oh my god You're driving Do not use your soundboard You're holding a mic Don't Keep your eyes on the road

Christ almighty What are you doing? Zuna's talking to me Welcome to another Edition of the HeadGum Podcast Just a little nervous actually Because I'm on the road Why? This is talking to me. Welcome to another edition of the HeadGum Podcast. Just a little nervous, actually, because I'm on the road. Why? This is insane.

I just, I wasn't home yet. Don't look at the fucking Zoom. No, I'm not looking at the Zoom. I'm trying to, like, maintain eye contact, because otherwise, how are you going to make a connection during a conversation? You're holding a microphone. You really should have hands at ten and two, right? You're supposed to have two hands on the wheel.

This is so distracting. This is work. This is work. I don't know what else to say. Don't put that on us. I'm obviously on the clock. I'm on the spot too because we have to put out a podcast every week, but that doesn't mean that my schedule isn't subject to change, right?

I might need to be on the go and make a show. What's that? What are you plugged into right now? How are you on the web? I have my laptop on the center console here and obviously connected to my Wi-Fi hotspot on my phone,

which is costing me a pretty penny, so when all things are calculated even, it's going to be breaking even. I'm not going to make a fucking dime off of this. It'd be funny if you flew off. We see you fly off. Water fills the screen. Do a Helix ad quick before you go.

Let's play Dolly Parton or I beg your pardon. Where are you going? I was just coming back from an eye. Why are you going? What's that? Why are you going? I'm coming back from an eye appointment at the what's that why are you going i'm coming back from a uh an eye appointment at the benjamin eye institute uh lip of flow round two and uh basically it's

for my my bony and gland dysfunction so uh we know you're driving while podcasting and you have bad eyes how do you know about my bony and gland dysfunction yeah you talked about it you get your oil glands massaged i don't want to like monopolize the podcast here so why don't we all go around say one thing that we're excited about let's start with marika the road is so bumpy you're like moving a lot in the car it's not a smooth ride to you sorry about that where are you i'm in echo park are you like off-roading yeah of course he's not gonna have good yeah he's not gonna have good internet the whole ride. That's impossible. Oh boy.

I mean, he asked what we're excited for, I guess. I'm frankly excited for him to get home so that he's safe and not in a car driving. I'm excited to say I'm busy next time Jeff

texts and asks if I can do the podcast. Yeah, like if we were in this situation, we wouldn't do it. And then he like sort of set it up in a way that he would have to do it from the road, knowing full well that like the internet wouldn't hold. It took more planning to do it this way than to just say like, can we do two instead of one? He's wearing professional headphones in the car. Are you? And by the way, sorry, just speaking of yeah the recording stopped because he left but you are you're just fucking

eating you know speaking of eating because yeah you're just having french fries dropped something in your mouth like a mother bird to her i was i was trying to time my meal to have finished before we started recording but But like I was, I was baking these sweet potato fries and they weren't done until after. So I'll be tall, brought me a few. I'm like, I'm not going to eat on the show,

but then like Jeff is driving and it just felt so casual that like, right. I could, all bets are off pretty much at this point. Jeff is gone. We should say he got disconnected entirely. So we don't even know if this will be part of the show. Yeah.

We don't know. Let me see that sweet potato. Yeah. I got to see what that that looks like it's still not it looks it's still not done that looks it is solid the problem is they start they start frozen and i do i just use like a toaster oven i guess i should do an air fryer but i didn't i have yet to pull the trigger it feels redundant they start you get this frozen sweet potato and you you bake them in the oven they still come out wet yeah like the bottoms get baked and like crispy because they're touching the metal and the top just sort of stays soft because it's like it goes from ice to water you gotta rotate those yeah and i try to but then they're stuck on the bottom so like i can't even

broiling that or baking that is that a baking convection? Baking that at like 425, yeah. We're actually going to need to slate again. What's that? One, two, three. You're getting pulled over. Yeah, I don't know what happened there. I'm so sorry, guys. You don't know what happened. I think he knows what happened.

We know what happened. I think I lost service or something. Are you lost? You're driving erratically as if you're lost. Don't look at the computer. Fucking eyes on the road. No, I'm almost home. I'm almost home, so this is, you know,

we're rounding third and heading. Stay with me, Marika. I have nothing to say. Got it. What did I miss? Hamilton? As the host, yeah, you did miss some stuff we were talking about. I guess using a toaster oven or a convection oven, is that what it's called, versus an air fryer. Yeah.

Sorry, one fucking second. If you're not happy with the conversation, then you should have been here to lead it. No, it's hard because my service cut out. Yes, it is hard. Are you even still recording? No, I thought that we cut. No, we's hard because my service cut out. Yes. Yeah, it is hard. Are you even still recording? From an eye appointment. No, I thought that we cut.

Yeah. No, we didn't cut. The Zoom said they stopped recording. We're still recording, though. Yeah. Okay. So I'm about to be home, so I might have to leave the Zoom. Maybe I make Jake the host.

I'm so sorry about this, guys. It's just an inconvenience for all of us. If you're about to be home, you could have pushed the recording 20 minutes and everyone might do that. I didn't really want to do that. I knew you guys had a hard out. No, I don't. You know, it's you're about to be home, you could have pushed the recording 20 minutes and everyone. I didn't, I didn't really want to do that. I could have finished my meal. No, I don't.

You know, it's just, I try to be professional. If you're on time, you're late. That's what I always say. You were late in addition to being in a car. Yeah.

Did we, did we all go around and say one thing we were excited about? Yeah, I think pretty much. But what are you excited about? Honestly, I'm excited to be back home here in a second so i can be in the studio so that i don't have to deal with all this driving but uh you see how distracted

you are studio i'm really excited for the new studio uh marty has a couple of lackey tasks for me um to do to get the whole thing set up uh what's he got you doing so uh he hasn't given me the list yet but he said i asked is there anything you need me to do? And he said, yes, there absolutely is going to be. I'm also pretty excited for Baku, the Azerbaijan Grand Prix. Yeah, baby. The new Prix? The next Prix, the next Grand Prix, Formula One.

You're not paying attention to me because you're getting out of a car. Stalled out or something. Yeah. I didn't put it in park. Sorry, why is that funny? Is that a new car or is that the old car that's not your jeep that looks like i sold my jeep for a rav you gotta have four yeah because of the i get like 40 miles a gallon interesting good for audio probably not but i mean i guess like sound it's good for video It's fun to watch you walk through LA. And of course this isn't being recorded anymore.

So like can't even use it for social or anything. That's a nice gate you have. What's your address? I looked that up. Yeah. I mean, again, I don't know why it's always has to go through me. Let's talk amongst ourselves while I get situated in the studio right like that's what a good friend would do that's what a good comedian would do that we all feel like fly by the seat of our pants at this point because

yeah we're skip we're fucking fitting this in midweek right tuesday this goes out this friday you just keep talking about how you want us to talk yeah Yeah. Sorry, let me just get my keys. Of course. This is not ideal. I think we've all recognized that, but to keep talking about it like it's novel would be kind of a disservice to the listener, right? Because it's been eight minutes in.

Yeah, we have to just move on with the show. Power through, onward, right? That's what we've always done on this show. And then nobody fucking says anything, right? I'm just so... You're like so close to sitting down i'm gonna let you sit down and then we can start the show i will now i have to cut all this bullshit out you don't fucking cut the bullshit ferris cuts it out you yell for ferris to cut shit out yeah it's true when you're when that is true when you started the show where were you in la like how many miles away from where you are right now?

I was pretty close to home, but I figured I'd take the scenic route just because, okay, I'm not going to make it home without pushing the record, so I might as well give him a good background to see. But then you lost internet. Yeah, and all we saw was your car anyway, so. He's changing his cord, I guess, plugging into something else. He's changing his cord, I guess, plugging into something else. He looks like a scientist from an 80s movie now with his thin glasses and long hair. Thin glasses, long hair, like Pendleton quilt behind him.

Yeah. It looks like someone is holding him against his will, forcing him to create a nuclear bomb that only he knows how to build. Well, it looks like he should be like a 70s musician, like a friend of Cat Stevens. The other day, Jeff sent me a text that was like, do you want to know my style icon? And it was a photo of Danny Sugarman. And I have to say he looks exactly like the photo that he sent right now.

So I think his goal is complete. I'm fully recording again. One, two, three, sync. Perfect. We made it. We fucking made it. And that's only a testament to the, I want to say durability of the show.

The flexibility, the, you know, we're not a bunch of Capricorns, right? We're not a bunch of Virgos. We're fine if plans change. We absolutely can go with the flow in that specific regard. I feel like you can't go with the flow. Just like two minutes ago, you were scolding all of us for not being able to carry the weight of being the host. Like you spun out and yelled at us. Daddy, chill.

Okay. There it is. Sunbird's back. This whole first 10 minutes has felt like a whirlwind. Whirlwind? Isn't it whirlwind? Yeah, I wasn't trying to say whirlwind. I was trying to say whirlwind because, in a way, the world's won

because this has been good content for us in our years. I was just talking to Jake about the fact that now all I care about is motorsport. Yes. And F1 racing. We have the need for speed, Marika. I have the need for speed. My life has been changed. I truly like the only things I think about 24-7 anymore are aside from work are F1 and

motorsport and then the X-Men. So that's all I care about now. That's all I can really talk about. Have you followed any racers on Instagram? I haven't followed any on Instagram. I have like a racing Twitter list so I don't have to follow anybody. I can just like keep up with it and I added a bunch to that. Do you follow any?

Carlos, I follow signs. Yeah. A good lad. feel like you've been have you gotten into any sport ever is this the first sport you've been emotionally invested in your entire life no marika me i think i mean i was into football in college because i was doing fantasy football with friends. So I was like actually paying attention. I mean, I played sports as a child, but I didn't ever follow them. So I didn't have like a lot of favorite.

Like I really like soccer, but I've never followed soccer. So this is the biggest sporting fan moment of your life. Yeah, I think so. I think that's fair. And you watch all races, right? fan moment of your life. Yeah, I think so. I think that's fair to say. And you watch four races, right? Like hours of the driving. Yeah, I've woken up at 5 a.m. to watch a four-hour race. Because if you start halfway through,

and it's the same lap over and over, right? It's the same lap over and over. So you're saying 100 laps instead of 50 if you wake up at 7. Is that you watching Le Mans? It's the European Le Mans series. So, yeah, it's like... But the problem is that... So I've watched two of those now.

And I know that the strategy that my favorite team is doing, which is to put Michael Fassbender as the first stint and then have other people cover for him and then have him go out again and keep race pace. So if I, if I wake up at five, then I can watch his first stint. If I don't wake up at five,

then I have to like, wait, wait, they're changing drivers in the middle of you do that for the, for the, like the longer endurance races, you change drivers. Your F1 is just like one.

My skin is sore. They're all fucking endurance races. They're so strong. They did 78 laps going like 200 miles per hour. And they talked about how your core strength has to be so strong because you're being pulled

by this car that's going so fast. So you have to be upright at all times. It's crazy. They do like weird neck exercises. Jeff was doing this sport by accident at the top of the podcast. How hard can it be?

That's why I was so worried. I just watched someone crash and die and I was so worried. And Michael Fassbender, the actor, does the racing? Yeah, I mean, it's not quite, I don't think it's quite as dangerous as formula one is. I mean, that kind of discredits the sport,

right? Right off the bat. An actor being like, I'm in and he's doing it. And sometimes when he's like, sorry, we got the word of the week. What was it?

Discredit. Really? Yeah. Meaning what? I am cash poor at the moment. So that's going to be only $10 to him. Don't Venmo me. Just don't do it. It's all in principle

at a certain point. He's on Patrick Dempsey's racing team. Like there's like a history of actors doing this. Celebrity ass rock and jock racing. It's better than him making a tequila. He also has that. Does he have a tequila? He also has a tequila.

Wait who does? Now you're interested. I was trying to finish also has a tequila i want to get into drinking and driving so i'll do tequila and stock racing but not at the same time right no yeah same weekend i don't even want to like pretend to be sending out a message that it's okay to be reckless while driving, specifically drinking and driving. That's not a good message to send to children. You'd have to specify because you were recklessly driving. I was normally driving. 10 minutes ago. So you have to specify if it's about alcohol.

Yeah. Because you obviously don't care about reckless driving. This is not the point of the show. The point of the show is to wax about what we care about. All right? Marika was just doing that. That's what we were doing. That's what I'm saying.

Let's get back to that. Let's get back on track okay all right i mean who were you talking about having tequila michael fassbender just have yeah yeah he doesn't have tequila right is that a sign to move on no i was just it was like it was good content thus far and so i was so that's how you applauded? Yeah, in a way. Because if this was a live show, that would have happened naturally. Yeah, mid-mite. Would it have? At that specific moment.

I can't wait to do this podcast on a live show. You're a demon. It's like I'm trying to imagine what this would look like live would you just walk around the stage you know i've been listening to i've been listening to the show recently with that sound effect and the way it the way it um gets played it makes me think that other people start doing it when when you play it but now that I'm here sitting here, I want everyone listening to know that no one spoke during that. That was all,

every single sheet was an audio clip. That one was Jeff. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, if you had an extra hour in your day, a lot of people would spend that very differently than the one sitting next to them. Maybe person A would go for a run, person B would take a nap, and patient zero would read a book. The point is, a lot of us spend our time and our lives wishing we had more hours in the day. And the question is, what is that time for?

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because you do nothing all day you had a fucking iFat appointment at one and you scheduled a podcast at 105 so your lesson is that you can always do shit other people have real jobs you're telling like doctors and lawyers that you can always do shit other people have real jobs you're telling like doctors and lawyers like you can always fit shit in like i woke up at 10 40 and got like fucking ointment

injected into my corneas and then i did a podcast so you anything i was able to accomplish everything i needed to do today an eye appointment and a loose podcast recording yeah you're not really kevin garnett screaming anything is possible anything is possible yeah yeah we have a lot of fun here that's part of the issue actually is that the lines get blurred between what's considered work and what's just hanging out so we'll do this show and there's a lot there's a clear structure to it that i have planned but then you guys go on these bullshit tangents and then i'm like well we're not going to get to the segments that we're supposed to you said the point of the show was to wax you said also are you saying that like the segments you have are the work and our bullshit tangents aren't like it's all the same

thing right what is the segment you haven't done one yet we're 20 minutes in you haven't gotten to the first segment the time code that i wanted to start it at was 20 minutes, so we have two more minutes of horseshit if you want to just trudge through that. I'm at 20 at least. I think you lost some minutes because you did the podcast in a car and lost reception or something. Yeah, that's right.

You will do this segment now. Welcome to Development Health! yeah that's right you will do this segment now welcome to development hell development hell Jake and I are currently experiencing it and we can't speak with much more liberty on the subject you don't know anything what are you talking about it's

what's the title are you talking about like the patreon videos or whatever oh yeah you shouldn't know about that that's true i'm sorry i found out yeah yeah i know you didn't i guess bleep the title bleep the person's name and i in theory you can keep the name of the segment but that's it. The name of the game is Development Hell I'm going to basically list some log lines and you guys are going to tell me whether it is something I made up or something that is

currently being developed by a major production company or television network and I think you might find that it's hard to figure it out because there's some really bad shows being developed all right here we go this show is centered on a bioengineer who discovers the gene that makes someone an asshole that's a real thing in development also i'll say fake that's correct

i'll say fake fake i'll say jeff made it up right now i say fake fake. That is going to be real. That's a show called A5. You fucking steamrolled your answer after you heard the dig. I'll say not real. You're still lying about it. It's too late. It's already real. We've already said that it's real. That's being developed by Three Arts.

So shout out. Here we go. A guy finds himself trapped inside the body of a penguin. I feel like that's real I think that's real. The Andre Drummond story. I'll say fake. No, that's going to be real. That's a TV movie called Tux.

That's going to be developed by Artist First, your guys' former management company. We should say that a lot of these things might not happen. Like when things are in development, that's what Hollywood says to say that they're working on stuff but like two percent of these things will actually happen so yeah but don't expect that feels like a weird preface because it kind of has nothing to do with the game fuck off when mason's father shows up to his first rock concert he's forced to reconcile with

his suburban past this is fake yeah that's good mason you the guy. I'll go real that you're doing all these for real. That one's fake. So, Jake is correct. All right. I'm 0 for 3. Two siblings. One is a hell's angel. The other is a lady superior.

Can they get along as they take care of their dying mother? That one's real. Yeah. I'll skirt the other way and go fake. That one's fake. That one I made up. It's really good, actually. Wait, save that one

because I'd love to develop it. That was not bad. You want to put together a white supremacist gang member and the head of a convent? Yeah, I mean, we'd have to package it. Charlie Hunnam and Glenn Close. I think that actually gets us there.

Yeah, and if we have like an A-list director, like a Wolliner type, someone who's been there, done that, with regards to ABC Studios slash Family, I feel like we can push this through if necessary. That's any project. That's any project if you had an A-list director. With the right packaging.

Yeah, any project with the right packaging. This is straight to freeform for sure. I mean, you think about someone like a Chuck Lorre type who can sell a ham sandwich in the room. Who's going to be the first AD? That's one of the last things they're going to figure out. That's going to absolutely

be years down the line. Where are we getting crafty? Who's the grip? That can be decided day of. They have to be union. No, they don't. They have to be union. Crafty union? I'm getting crafty? Who's the grip? That can be decided day of. They have to be union. No, they don't. They have to be union. Crafty union? I'm saying crafty from union market, you son of a bitch. Not clear.

We have to move on. A dangerous... Just listen to it. A dangerous substance known as Ice-9 threatens life on earth as we know it for real what is this ice nine ice nine is a what what is ice nine let me just say it again without laughing a dangerous substance known as ice nine threatens life on Earth as we know it. How do you spell Ice Nine? Is it the number nine or is it like a hyphen N-I-N-E? It's like tech nine.

It's hyphenated Ice Nine spelled out. That's real. I'll say it's real. Yeah. Yeah. That's real and that's based on a Kurt Vonnegut novel. Waterhouse Nine. That's a different nine novel.

Novel for short. All right. A diamond in the rough style man finds solace in a hopeless place. It's gotta be fake because that means nothing. It's so general. A diamond in the rough style man. The language is so clear. Also, when he laughs, when he laughs laughs it's real because he's reading it like

for the second time i'm shocked that it's happening yeah when andy goes viral on twitter all hell stays the same so clearly because that's just a weird joke on a format correct correct yeah a man wait all all hell stays the same that means like the you think the phrase is all hell gets different or something like yeah yeah it should be like breaks tight or something like that all hell stays the same means nothing yeah exactly yeah are you surprised he phoned it in he did half the episode from his car all right a man named Guyton gets rimmed Guyton Ice on Pornhub actually yeah that one's fake when Kendall Sconce gets diagnosed as a drunkard all hell stays the same. That one is real. It has to be.

Because I think Bill Lawrence is attached. That's a doozer production. Bill Lawrence is attached. Yeah. Wow. Who's their DP? It doesn't matter. Yeah. In TV especially, it doesn't fucking matter.

They're just trying to get the episode out in five days. For sure. For sure. Multi-cam or? Single, yeah. That's really good. Who's showrunner? This one could be a reboot if it gets made and then later on. Multi-cam or? Single, yeah. That's really good. Who's showrunner? This one could be a reboot if it gets made and then later on.

Damon Lindelof then? Peyton Manning tries to garden. That's a Papa John's commercial. Correct. So that one was not a show, but it was a commercial that I believe was stuck in development hell for a bit. Impossible. I hate your face while we're watching this, while we're listening. You look bored by your own insanely long music cue. Let me tell you guys what's missing in the world.

Oh, no. Art. Nice. Is it? We all log off at once. What an insane segment for a podcast where you have shared your screen and you're showing us art. And the art looks like a stamp of elvis done six times of varying degrees apart eight times yeah eight elvis's holding a gun it's watermark too yeah shopify website couldn't find

the original or yeah the original is an nft not really yeah so yeah going back to your what the world is missing is art there's like a whole new area of art that like i think the world has too much art yeah it's causing problems for sure i guess my real point is that attention spans are shrinking interest in art is dwindling and people aren't really appreciating what it might have to offer well we were stuck inside and couldn't go to museums for like over a year. So I think that could be part of the problem. That is true. And I will give you that.

But I thought that what we could do is we could examine some art across several different media. And what's that? I said sure. And we could basically give some criticism, give some thoughts, see what emotions it provokes in us. And sorry, what emotions the art elicits from us. There's no way you had this planned. You barely made it through the description of this, not even game, but conversation we're supposed to be having. Yeah, not all of it has to be a game.

Everybody keeps fucking saying oh every segment you do is like this or that every segment is Elvis Presley or Elvis Costello and I'm like fine I'll try something new so I got in my car basically when I was outlining the episode I was like let's not do a game let's just talk let's just wax art

great I'll do it I said I'll do it this is great i'll do it what'd you say oh my i said i'll do it yeah this is eight elvis eight elvis's by uh andy warhol no it's not man i don't know what to tell you really go to the next one yeah this is the thinker by august rodin. Yep. Yeah. Nice famous statue.

It's interesting because, and what you have to understand is that in the original, his native language of French, it's actually le penseur. And I think it's just to represent not only the ideal male physique while sitting, because sometimes when you sit, you could be in good shape, but if you're leaning forward, you might show a little bit of your belly and i know that we're like entering this new phase of body positivity but they didn't quite have that in rodin's age right so of course the thinker is jacked the thinker is cut look at those calves jake you'd kill to have those i yeah i would you think that they didn't have body positivity in the time when there was like no social media the the sculptor here was not thinking about like a belly popping out as this

guy leaned forward yeah that wasn't top of mind i don't think it must be nice right must be nice yeah to not have to think about that while sculpting. Are we talking about art or abs? At a certain point, it's kind of like, you know, the Venn diagram's a circle there, right? Because when you see someone who's in such certain type of shape, they can't help but feel like a work of art to me. He also has a hell of a hairline. The thinker is kind of zaddy. Do you have an angle on the cock?

Let's see that little pee-peepee actually. Yeah, here we go. What about this for a modern art? So it's the... He's just searching the thinker cock. Oh yeah, that is going to be covered by what looks to be some kind of cloth. A loincloth. A modest. Oh, this might be

the thinker standing up. No, that's just another statue of a naked person. So here's what I'm thinkering. It's the thinker statue, but it's a guy on a toilet and he's looking at his cell phone. So it's like, we're not thinking anymore, but like next time like Gen Z is in this position,

it's because we're staring. Yeah, it definitely exists. So search that, say the thinker on the toilet on his phone. Because if not not then i can just get into what is this iron work there you go yeah it's perfect and it's not even like it's just been done once it's been done so much yeah there's like seven examples immediately of an original actually not only one of them is on their phone okay robin william on their phone what'd you say i was just correcting miri said only one of them

is on their phone two of them are on their phone yeah a lot of them are just on a toilet though yeah i was gonna say that robin williams offered the thinker a roll of toilet paper which is actually fucking hilarious to have that's actually like he is on it yeah that yeah i think is is great art this photograph this photo i would I actually might print. Yeah, this is fucking cool. Who's your favorite artist, Jeff? Me? Is that your answer? Still set as a question, though.

Matt McCormick. He's a modern artist who kind of does mixed media stuff. It's like painting and also using different materials. And it's kind of pop-arty. It's also Western art. And he also incorporates like 60s rock quotes into his stuff the persistence of

we didn't say anything that time you stopped the persistence of memory sorry Ferris can you actually do a sax break here I need to like calm down sax alright we're back the persistence

and we're just gonna continue this segment don't you usually use the sax to like break it yeah well I just was on like the verge of a breakdown there so I like had to compose myself

for even 30 seconds well you barely did any time so if you need to actually take some time to relax well let's take some time just like Salvador Dali did in The Persistence of Memory. And he melted clocks.

And that can't help but make me feel some type of emotion. Second that emotion. What do we think? What type of emotion? Hmm? What type of emotion? It's interesting because sometimes when you look at the clock, you know, like, for example, beginning of this episode, I knew that I had to be home by one and I wasn't home till like what, 1.15?

So that made me anxious. That made me creative. And so staring at clocks that are melting on what looks to be some kind of ledge and also a branch. And what's that? What's the middle one on? Is it like a dead seal or something? What's going on there?

Yeah, I think it's just art, so you don't have to think about it too much. You just spent a minute analyzing something. And then I asked one follow-up question. You said it's just art, so you don't have to think about it too much. That's the whole point of art, is that you think about it too much. That's the whole point of art

is that you think about it too much. It's also the point of this segment where you wanted to dissect art. Yeah, I'm also actually

I looked up on Wikipedia analysis of this to figure out if that was anything in particular and it's maybe based on

Bosch's The Garden of Earthly Delights which is one of my favorite paintings. Yeah. There's like a creature in that that looks similar. And that's on Bosch's The Garden of Earthly Delights which is one of my favorite paintings. There's like a creature in that that looks similar. And that's not Bosch the television show. Correct. Obviously. Are those eyelashes on the left there? I actually think this might be a bird's head and then

that's the beak and then this is the eyelash of a bird. Yeah. Sure. A chicken's beak in a way. I'll allow it. I don't necessarily feel any particular emotion looking at this but i enjoy it i enjoy surrealism it's a visually pleasing i don't want to say article right because it's because it's a painting yeah yeah i guess that's why oh let's move on different medium here this is a poem by Jack Kerouac, How to Meditate, one of his most famous.

I'm just going to kind of recite it and then we can talk about it. It's pretty long to recite. Lights out. Fall, hands are clasped into instantaneous ecstasy like a shot of heroin or morphine. The gland inside my brain discharging that good, glad fluid, holy fluid, as I hap down and hold all my body parts down to a dead stop trance healing all my sicknesses erasing all not even the shred of a i hope you or a loony balloon left in it but the mind blank serene thoughtless when a thought comes a springing

from afar with its held fourth figure of image you spoof it out you spuff it out you fake it and it fades and thought never comes and with joy you realize for the first time thinking's just like not thinking so i don't have to think anymore is this about jacking off the first sentence really makes it seem like that now that I think about it. What would the good, glad fluid tap down, hold my body parts? Feels very on par with that generation of artists. Yeah, I honestly would not put it past Kerouac to just write a beautiful poem about, for lack of a better term, autofillatio. That's the lack of the correct term.

Do you have any thoughts beyond well i guess we could just expand it like what are you guys's can we speak off the record for a second how do you guys get off no jesus no i thought you were gonna ask us about the poem off the record in the wrong way yeah you lured us into looking at art just to ask us how we masturbate that's so fucked up it's like a long con go to the next one yeah let's go to the next one it appears to be from a blogger a blog spot that's just a just a nice home it's a pool on a roof that's the stall house case study house number i believe 22 it's really nice it looks like a mid-century modern yeah in the hollywood hills nice jetliner study houses were inherently mid-century modern in the Hollywood Hills. Nice jetliner views. Case study houses were inherently mid-century modern.

But yeah, nice. So you didn't want anybody saying anything. Because whenever I chime in, you say, don't think or yeah, that's obvious. So now I'm like in a position where I don't want to help the conversation a lot. There's no way you guys haven't seen a photo of this house, right? This is like one of the most famous houses of all time. Yeah, I think I've seen it.

I know Jake has. I wasn't worried about you. Okay, well, what is this segment? Because you're just antagonizing us, I think. I've taken so many art classes and this is by far the worst art discussion i've ever participated in i have an art degree and i hate this well this is a great that's a great segue actually because the last piece of art is the friendship that we've kind of all formed together at head gum yeah so now jeff is on the head gum about page where there's just photos of everybody so i think that there is a certain art form in forming bonds between humans because at a

certain point we're all part of one collective soul so when i hurt myself purposefully it's to ideally through some kind of voodoo ritual hurt amir it's never worked i'm sorry to tell you i've never felt pain when you hurt yourself really but i'd like you to keep trying how do you know yeah because i stepped on a stingray like two weeks ago when i was surfing purposefully so that you would feel that pain in your arch i'm fine arch wise thank you i've been limping for a decade actually in my my feet hurt yeah maybe you've been angling everything that's why jake's feet have been hurting for seven years now because you're constantly stepping on shit wait did you wait this is real jake did you have a finger injury yeah several you had an a2 pulley thing yeah how and it lasted for a long

time long time a couple months that's when i was carrying you i heard it climbing did you heard it climbing or uh jacking off jack kerouac style i I heard it climbing and it's like, I just have taken the past two weeks off, but when I press down on it, it's like a little bit of pain still, but not that much. Keep waiting. Really?

Keep waiting, because the worst thing you can do is rush back. You'll hurt it worse. I know. Give it two more weeks. I think I'm going to give it six weeks total. Nice. Yeah, that's a good idea.

Oh, God. Seeing you just fucking mouse over the the soundboard really I get to see how the sausage is made and it's he's sort of a child indiscriminately choosing which sound effect to go I will

admit that I stopped I forgot that I didn't stop my screen share I don't know what else to say guys we we get the keys to Marty Wood the new HeadGum LA office as we're calling it Marty Wood? who's calling it Marty Wood?

I called it that last night in the slack and I thought it would catch on I thought it already did oh that picture you sent of the Hollywood sign but it said Marty Wood did you make that or was that already like Jake are you going to come out to LA for that? I thought you said you might come out for the LA office opening ceremony.

Yeah, I mean, I think, I don't know if I'm going to come out for like the grand opening, but I think I'm going to come out to LA sometime in June. So I'll be there. Yeah. Cool. That'll be fun. I'm looking forward to it. It's going to be great. Are you going to be around the office at all or are you going to kind of like sulk in Silver Lake?

I'm going to be around the office the first? Or are you going to kind of like sulk in Silver Lake? I'm going to be around the office, the first one. What do you mean sulk in Silver Lake? You waited pretty long to get your vaccine. And I have to think that it was some kind of anti-vaccine effort. I got it the first day it was available to my age bracket. You said you didn't believe in the second vaccine, right? Well, the second vaccine is not necessary. Johnson and Johnson style. If you just get one Pfizer or one Moderna, you're pretty much as immune as somebody who got the J&J plus herd immunity. So yeah, I didn't want to get like a headache for a day, but I still got my first dose.

That's just a horrible game plan. Yeah, you're 60 to 80% or whatever, but why not be 95? Because you didn't want a headache? Because I heard like a lot of people had like some nasty side effects. So I said on the day, it's not for me. And I got up on the day you got there and i got there and i sat down and he's like so you know about the side effects and i said like hell i do the side effects are notoriously one-tenth of what covid is okay so i'll get it like what do you want me to do well now it's too late you have to get the first one again. I will not. Because then the second will be like the fucking third.

But it'll still be the second. Fine, I'll get them all. What do you want? Like, I lost my card. I don't even remember if I got the Pfizer or the Moderna. I got pricked by a prick. And now I have to fucking guess and check my way through immunity. When we just passed 50% of americans are now at least half vaccinated

she is not doing the sound effect this is just them now it's the sound of no I got my second I got my second one 12 days ago at this point I'll be fully vaxxed by this weekend yeah day one when we get the keys are you gonna be there

I think we already have the keys so yeah I've already I've seen the office but I'll be there the day yeah it's a different kind of major key alert it's just more that we have the major keys yeah yeah what are we gonna do with that mural because we have a mural on the side of the building and marty was gossiping to me that there might be like a 10 foot mural space that we have access to and then we're gonna like keep a little. Where we can kind of put. Podcast art on.

Or is that bullshit. Yeah. I wanted to do like. You know those famous like. Street arts. That people line up. To take pictures with. To make them Instagram chic.

Like the pink wall in LA. Or like. Stand here and think about. Someone who loves you. Yeah. The angel wings. The I love you. In Austin. That's.

Yeah. Exactly. We need like. We need a fucking Instagram wall. We need people lining up. To take a picture. Next to our office. Sounds awful. Austin that's yeah exactly we need like we need a fucking Instagram wall we need people lining up to take a picture next to our office sounds awful also the second one you cited is on that building

the stand here and think about something you love yeah that one is on the building so what about one that says or you can stand here and think about someone who's just fine I actually really like that that's really good You shouldn't do that. Yeah. Yeah.

I guess we should just go into plugs. I know we all have work to do. Geo into plugs. We all. We heard that. You misspoke. Geo into plugs.

Like it's a geosa. Hey. It's a geo. I didn't hear it, but that's pretty funny if he did misspeak. Rufio. Rufio. Rufio. I didn't hear it, but that's pretty funny if he did misspeak. Rufio, Rufio, Rufio. Gio.

That lets Gio into plugs. Where did you Gio? Hey, come be at. Why don't you Gio fuck yourself? That's really good. Gio fuck yourself. Like G-Y-O. Or G-I-O even.

Yeah. Fuck yourself. Here's my plug. Hey, Los Angeles, California. Forget that. Get his ass. Get his ass. And if you can't get your ass to L.A., mail him.

For lack of a better term, toxic biochemicals, anthrax, ricin. It'll all be nice to him. Ferris, let's bleep that out in the key of G with a kazoo. Anything to plug, Jake? Yeah, I sell wallets now. So you can buy yourself a wallet over at brothershalcyon.com. They're nice. I'm a wallet salesman.

Do you make a lot of money off that, or is it just kind of like you break even and it's fun to do? I don't make a lot of money, but it was fun to design a wallet. Sell wallets to put cash in the wallet. Yeah, that's right. That's right. Marika, plugs? Watch Formula One, I guess. It's really fun.

Follow me on Twitter and Instagram. I'm marie galon baku next weekend let's go ferrari follow me on rider it's this erotic only fan style vlog slash zine that I'm hoping to start. R-Y-D-R dot C-O dot A-R. You're founding it. And if that URL isn't working, something went terribly awry in the formulation process. I wasn't able to get something. Something went terribly awry. Code.

Geo to that site now. Yeah, I'll be there. And you can follow me on Instagram at Jeffrey James, on Twitter at JeffBoyRD. If you work at Twitter and you're listening to this, I apply for verification. Please give me that blue check,

because that's all I need to be happy. If not, we'll catch you guys again next week. Well, Gio, and have fun, everybody. Yeah. Fucking stupid ass. I don't know if he said Gio, actually. Words correctly. But yeah, he did. Because like I said, I didn't hear if he said Geo actually words correctly but yeah he did

because I didn't like I said I didn't hear if he said go or Geo it sounded clean actually now that I'm replaying it in my mind's eye shit really did you get a haircut again

I gotta go That was a HitGum Original.