The Headgum Podcast - 55: Celebrities Dwight (w/ David Young!)

Episode Date: June 18, 2021

Emmy-winning TV writer/Geoff's old boss David Young joins Amir, Johnny, and Geoff to discuss old CollegeHumor sketches, the reunion, and famous Dwights!FriendsFollow David on:Twitter: @gabutchInstagram: @gabutchBUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Harlaise, like a Caprese salad almost. You know he actually tried to create a new fucking Caprese? You know what Caprese is, right? That's the least believable thing that you said. Charlize's lawyer, her attorney tried to come up with a new salad and seemingly failed

by the way, by your verbiage. So, caprese, you know, is buffalo mozzarella, heirloom tomato, basil, vinaigrette, right? Sure. So good. Yeah, so good, right? So the harlase, which ended up not going anywhere, was buffalo mozzarella, heirloom tomato,

cherry tomato, vinaigrette, toenails, and a basil leaf. What was the second to last one? The second to last one before. Cherry tomatoes. No, that was the middle one. The basil is an interesting choice, too. The basil.

Yeah, because it's already on the caprese. That's why it's not interesting. You said toenails. And when you bite into it, it's like the toenail and the basil sort of brings out this umami in the harlase. Oh, my God. And when you bite into it, it's like the toenail and the basil sort of brings out this umami in the harleze. Oh my God. And I'm not allowed

to ever text him or her client again. I'm trying to remain steadfast. Is that the right word? No, I guess not. Because he just said, yeah, you're not using steadfast correctly.

Wait, are we recording? Has it started? Yeah, it just started. I've always wanted to say that. Nice. The core four. At it again. David Young. Carpal Karaoke.

Right? Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Sorry, let me finish, right? If you want the intro. Sure. Well, you paused. Right. I think he said right.

Not every silence needs to be. He's already in it. I love it. I love the said right. Not every silence needs to be. He's already in it. I love it. I love the energy right off the bat. Johnny, what's up? I've never seen this show or heard it. Welcome to another edition of Thunderdome. It's kind of that kind of energy.

You're entering the lion's den. Do you have like a sound library? This is like a morning radio show. Sorry. Word of the week already. This is unbelievable. You just pocketed a thousand dollars, David.

Thank you. Yeah. What was the word? What'd you say? What was the word? Do. David, what's your Venmo?

I'm just gonna don't worry about it I'm happy to just no no it's okay no it's alright I'm good alright don't send him a thousand dollars for sure though is it David Young SD it's not

my picture's on it but don't even worry about it you saved that money yeah I don't really have it it'll be an overdraft fee, but we'll figure it out. Alright. Sounds good. Is it Astrologian IRL? No. It's obviously not that. He says it's his name, and he has

his photo next to it. It's not SD. It's not Astrology IRL. I'm looking at all of them, and he's not coming up. Just send it to any of those David Youngs. We kind of work as a team. We like saturn's so it's you give it to one we all feel the benefits how long is this podcast um it's 45 minutes to an hour um we're back at again with the white vans we've got david young

tv writer college humor fame etc etc um we've got amir blumenfeld what are you doing these days you're putting old videos that you used to make vertical and then putting that on tiktok what is that to generate buzz so you can do other projects in the television industry? Yeah, it's all about everything now has gone 90. I mean, David Young gets what I'm talking about. We're talking about there's this entire sort of horizontalization of content and we're completely verticalizing it again. So forget everything you knew about 16 by 9, verticalizing it again. So forget everything you knew about 16 by 9, we're going 9 by 16. You know why? Because that's the shape of our cellular phones. Kids are addicted to these things. This iPad, second screen, iWatch technology, everything is completely... Are you accidentally pitching Quibi right now?

So in order to for our videos, we're sitting on a mountain of content right I mean IP is the game content is king and then David knows this distribution is the ace right so we take these videos and we have to sort of translate them obviously not to a different language but to a different aspect ratio

suddenly it's so much simpler than what you're saying you're like monologuing it's just changing the aspect ratio it's just the last thing you said great nice okay if it's just that why don't you fucking do it then explain to me why i'm bankrupt you know what you know what else is horizontal money right but weren't you pitching the other way you're talking exactly you said the horse is a horizontalization of media is editing things into a vertical aspect ratio okay like yeah i can have the court stenographer read back to you what am i am i under deposition here are we just making small talk baby we're just riffing it's funny oh he's

nice david can we get a she? She. Pretty good. David, do you know what that is? I do not. But Jimmy Fallon referenced it on the Tonight Show monologue, and I assume that it was a reference.

I first thought it was something that you, Amir, originated. Yeah, it's close. It is close. We did have a sheesh-related tagline back in the day. This is a TikTok trend where kids are saying sheesh, but it's with a prolonged eee, just like that. And then it's like a call and response. Yeah.

What is the, the call is, yeah, what is it? Sheesh. But it's basically you say sheesh. Sheesh. But you hardly say the last S-H. You barely say the first S-H. You barely say the first S-H. Yeah. It has to be airy. And who started that?

Addison Rae? No. Jesus Christ. How old are you, dude? That's funny. Brittany Furlong? No, things don't. There's no attribution on TikTok.

It's just one day is everywhere, and the next day it's gone. And for now, it's gone. And for now, it's here. She. She. Do you guys think Brittany Furlan has ever furloughed her staff? Like, you got to assume she has a personal assistant. What's that?

What do you mean by furloughed? Like, she probably has an assistant and maybe she has a second assistant. And then maybe she had to, like, let the first one go, bump the second one up, and then hire someone new. Is that what furloughed means? Yeah, I guess that could have happened. Furloughed means, though, that you don't bring your staff in. You furlough your staff. You let them keep their benefits, but you don't pay them. Yeah.

For next joke. Yeah, save it, I guess, or, you know. For next joke. Yeah. Save it, I guess. Or rework it and bring it back to the table. Ferris, cut that out. Johnny, what's new in the Life and Times? Johnny, David, Johnny works at HeadGum. He just moved to New York, right?

Or you're about to move to New York? I'm about to. My lease starts on the 15th. So I'm very close to being there. David, it's really nice to meet you. I was really nervous about the fact that we haven't said hello to each other. And it's been about like 15 minutes since we've been on this call. I felt really rude, but it's nice to meet you. Don't even think twice about it. I did think the same thing. I wonder when I'm going to meet

this other person. Yeah, i think that's a host um blunder in terms of trying to bring the guests together and introduce everybody but definitely before the show and if it's in the show then it's at the top it's not seven minutes but i have to give it the host of the so much to get to i almost don't want to even start i say let's i say let's jump into it let's jump into it um i guess the newest news is that david you were in a college humor sketch i was was in a lot of them, yeah. You were in multiple. Okay. The one that I remember you from is the book club one. Here we go.

John Gabrus, who's coming over tonight for drinks at my house with his wife. Wow. Are they bringing flowers? By advertising on YouTube, I grow my business by reaching the most important customers. We're keeping this part in, too. We won't cut out the pre-rolls. Now just the audio is playing. We can't see anything.

It's a solid bet. A Frankfurter is a hot dog. The f*** is going on here? David, this is our book club. Are you actually open to notes? Uh, sure. So we're playing this whole clip right now? Uh, we have time. Okay.

Um, I think you came in a little too hot. I think that was the intent. Meet Fluxen. He's in charge. Now, Streeter, I've told you countless times. I just select the books. It's the authors who are in charge. Oh, wow.

That's wise. That's so insightful. Please, I'd sleep well tonight knowing that I added another member to our little circle. I have another note. I feel like you could have played with it more. This video is 10 years old. David looks almost

exactly the same. It's crazy how little you've aged in the last 10 years. You've had kids too, so you're supposed to be tired and you haven't grayed or gotten fatter or more wrinkly. Like, what are you hiding here? Thank you.

I appreciate that. I've gotten gray, but I have maintained a healthy lifestyle. And what does that entail? I'm working out. I'm eating right. I'm just trying to avoid the slow decline, you know? Yeah. Delay the inevitable. Yeah you know? Yeah, delay the inevitable.

Yeah, I guess that's what it is. Let's keep playing it. Oh, sorry, do you want to give more? Or dare I say rhombus litter. It is a rhombus. Yeah, yeah. All right, let's open up our books to page 35. You're smiling.

It's bullshit already. I did as Jim told me. You're smiling. It's bullshit already. Did not remember that joke at all uh vague anti-semitic slurs this was the aughts we didn't know better we couldn't have done 2011 not the aughts it just felt like yes i guess this is more of a character note. Why were you so mean to Flugsen just then? You know, I wouldn't say it was mean. I was more confused. And maybe my confusion read as mean. Please continue, Sam.

For some reason, my first year of school had brought a great change in our relationship. Calpurnia's tyranny, unfairness. Sorry, Sam, Sam. Again, Flugsen, yourness. Sorry, Sam, Sam. Again, Fluxen, your book now is sideways and upside down. Caught me red-handed again, you fat Jew. All right.

Seems to know my brain. I've got a little cuckoo for all this literature. Much like that little scab. You little fat Jew. Oh, that's good stuff. That's funny. Good on Gabrus.

He nailed that. Did he improvise that or was that written by a Jewish person? That was written by me, a fat Jew. Okay, that's good. This was before

the fat Jewish Jew. Hey, Fluxen, why don't you read the next part? Okay, I don't see your name tag that says Fluxen. I'll be the one who tells you who reads. Oh, come on, Fluxen, read it. Yeah, you never read. Yeah, come on, Fluxen. Fine, I'll read, you little pieces of s***.

What's his plan right here? For some reason... What's his plan right here? you were breathing so i'd calm down with the accusations how long have you been running this for eight months longer than you've been alive not cutting away from you was that david was that a year post note or did the editor take liberty with that because again we can't see this video so we really have to be descriptive with our audio are you not seeing this i'm sharing my i'm saying it yeah but for anybody listening you got to imagine that this is a podcast right so people will be listening yeah jeff you got to remember what we're doing here yeah well i i try to make it so that we're just hanging out and having a good time and then people can feed off that energy from

yeah yeah it's definitely not that um i don't remember the edit. Take seven. Take. Hey, Fluxen, you know, if you can't read, it's okay. You know, it's fine. Jesus Christ, I can read. Look, okay? A bird flying away. It's Blackbird flying in the dead of night. Stopwatch. Yawn tree.

Topish cover. Is everyone happy now? Is everyone happy? Yawn tree, topish cover is everyone happy is everyone yontree topish cover you wrote this everyone happy i wrote this one this was an all-nighter oh yeah it says all-nighter there how does this make you feel watching it now nary 10 years later it's a fun watching hardly workings are are we supposed to be genuine or is this like all some big fucking joke about i think it's i like to think that it's some uncomfortable in between got it i i will speak genuinely i enjoy watching old Harley workings. I forget almost everything that happens in them. That's awesome.

Yeah, we can see you looking for the buttons to. What does it sound like when you read, Vincent? For some reason, my first year of school had brought a great change in our relationship. Does anyone else not hear the difference between the two of us? How about this? How about you just write your name down on a paper? Of course. You want me to write Fluxen on a sheet of paper?

Yeah, of course I can do that. He looks stressed like he's trying to ace an SAT or something. Such a good acting. He is so clearly caught. But he's already powering through he was caught like yeah 30 seconds in johnny let's get your take what do you think uh i think there's a little too much conflict in this sketch i think uh if anything when someone can't read i prefer when someone is a little more nurturing in that regard. Heard it here first. Johnny Villa doesn't think that David wrote a good sketch 10 years ago.

I did not say that. This is unbelievable. This is the first time anybody's been called out who was in the guild. Well. Looks like a rising sun with not enough rays focus on what we're supposed to be doing like bird flying away from tree in the middle of the night moon what's the name of the book what is the name of the book i just told you this is getting truly rhombus at this point i show up week on time, and now you accuse me of being illiterate? Do you know what that's like?

I show up every week on time. Makes a good point. How can he read a clock? Does anyone ask an accountant if they can count? Does anyone ask other people whose jobs are to count if they can count? No. Luke's in, what letter is this? I cannot read.

But I can sing. I can't sing. I can dance. I'm not going to dance. I can't dance. I'm going to leave. I apologize. Everyone, I'm really sorry.

Oh, I just sprained my ankle. Worth it. Gotta go. Bye. Straight up past out with my eyes open. What'd I miss? We still respect Flugsen right we still respect flugsen was dan there while we were shooting that or was the joke that he couldn't actually be in the shot

so it was a two shot of two people two shot of the other and then dan was sort of in the no man's land caught between we don't actually have time for this question amir we actually have to move on because there's a lot of stuff that we didn't get to thus far david you and i know each other because you gave me a job working on carpool karaoke yes uh let's go rosebud thorn from that experience for you uh thorn first then rose then bud do you know the game um rose is the best part yes thorn is the worst and bud is what you're looking forward to let's go thorn first get the negative out of the way because i can't imagine that it's that long no it probably was the um the worldwide pandemic that ended your job and my job uh very very short yes that is true that is true and it is the pandemic that did that, right?

Because I've been getting texts from Casey Stewart, and he's been kind of being like, hey, we're going to the office. I was like, what are you talking about? He said, the show's back. I said, I haven't gotten any emails. Yeah, I told Casey to keep that quiet. Yeah.

No, it's just a matter of, you know, budgets change. Responsibilities for people change and it's it's good it's an it's a as a mirror can tell you it's a long uh long road a long road yeah and there's some dead ends and sometimes the roads lead to great things. Roads. That's an interesting thing to bring up because what I was going to ask you is you live on a street, right? Mm-hmm. That street is in California. The exact street address is... Let's talk about it.

I'm wondering, A, how much did you put down on a California ranch? And how often does Jeff Grosvenor, I've never said it out loud, come over? So this is where I would say let's cut that part out. The exact address. Yeah, he usually says it and then we bleep it. Oh, cool, cool. And then secondly. We can talk about something else jeff is a good friend of mine he comes over often that's cool yeah

um i can see you're getting uncomfortable so we'll change the subject uh what school do your kids go to that's even more invasive yeah that's very that's very invasive incredibly personal um yeah how would that even be beneficial to the listeners what's that even if he answered yeah why is that good for people to listen to don't he's just like yeah they go to fucking well john to read or something john um that's middle school johnny why would it be beneficial for them to know my exact home address yeah that one that one was bad too oh that one yeah yeah some people want to know that some people want to know my exact home address. Yeah, that one was bad too. Oh, that one, yeah, yeah. Some people want to know. Some people want to know.

Net worth? No. This one you should answer. This one's actually kind of cool. Why? Because it shows your gravitas. You're here for a reason. And it's that sweet, sweet cash you have. You guys have guests on this podcast

based only on their net worth yeah you probably stack up i mean if i'm just from my guesstimations it's probably somewhere around 750 000 so like you're probably one of the richest people who's been on the show okay cool what's next this show is sponsored by better help you know if you had an extra hour in your day a lot of people would spend that very differently than the one sitting next to them. Maybe person A would go for a run, person B would take a nap, and patient zero would read a book. The point is, a lot of us spend our time and our lives wishing we had more hours in the day. And the question is, what is that time for?

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Visit BetterHelp.com slash whatsthat today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash whatsthat. Thanks, BetterHelp. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day.

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it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one year supply of vitamin d3 k2 and five free ag1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that again that's drinkag1.com slash what's that check it out uh we should talk about the friends reunion i mean okay you were part of... Let me finish, right? I wasn't encouraging you to stop.

I was just kind of... A natural thing is to say okay. Active listening. Active listening. Thank you, Amir. Sorry. It's just like, you know, I can't walk and chew gum at the same time.

I can't talk when other people are like... You can't do that first thing. That first thing is the basic thing that people say. You can usually do that. Yeah. That's the baseline. Yeah. Again, this is exactly what i'm fucking talking about and also you said that so aggressively like it's us it's on us that you don't know how to do that this is not going the way i wanted it to friends reunion you wrote on it let's talk about it this is historic right this is an unbelievable accomplishment for

matthew perry and the gang sure yeah ben winston directed full well 73 co-founder james corden hosted yes you were there on the day. What was the most rewarding part of wrapping and being able to do nothing for several months afterwards? Hmm. I, the buildup, I'm not going to lie, made me think that the question was going to relate in some way to that. Yeah. The best part of, I guess, not working, Yeah. The best part of, I guess, not working, being done with it was that I could spend time with my family. What a, I mean, it's a strange, it's a strange question. He answered it in the question.

Like, what was the best part of finishing this thing and having three months after that? Yeah. I tried to put, I tried to be more descriptive by saying i'd spend time with my family but i who cares who was the hardest person to get along with for you personally on the set and let's name them can i ask you a question yeah of course it seems like no answer to my question is adjusting your next question yeah it definitely feels like you have an agenda. And sometimes I ask a question to further the conversation and you just sort of sweep it under the rug and you ask David why he fired you. Not only do you sweep it under the rug,

you don't even make a facial reaction as if you've listened or heard what Amir has said. Yeah, like you're a pre-tape or something like that. Yeah. But we can keep, let's keep going. Basically, you're a bad host. You guys don't understand what goes into putting this show on. Once a week, this has to come out every Friday.

I have to have an agenda. Otherwise, we don't get to shit. We don't get to the thick of it. We don't fucking get to know each other, forge bonds that last a lifetime. But again, that seems like it's more on you based on your actions thus far, more than it is on us. I'm trying to answer your questions in as thoughtful of a way as I can, and you are just on to the next one.

We went through College Humor, Carpool, and the Friends Reunion in a matter of five minutes. Go on. And then the second night. Yeah. All right. Okay. Never mind. Go on. And then the second night.

Yeah. All right. Okay. Never mind. Welcome to Friends or Friends. This is a segment where I'm going to list quotes from the Friends reunion and also things that my friends have said to me. And you guys have to figure out which is which.

This is for actual cash. Yeah, this is for money. $10 for every right answer. $10 owed to me for every wrong answer. Are we ready to play? No. All right. This was going to be a 10-minute segment.

I'll play it without the second part of that. Okay. The cash comes regardless. Again, I can't seem to fucking figure out your Venmo, but I can do Apple Pay later on. Here we go. Are you guys ready? Johnny, any questions? Yeah, fine. Let's just go yeah all right i'm here start the fucking segment dude wait you look so disappointed

you're real friends i'm to say the TV show Friends. David's exactly right. That was Courtney Cox talking to Jennifer Aniston. You could probably use her character names. I have never seen Friends and I didn't watch The Reunion. Hey, did you take my laptop charging cord? Your friend. Correct. That was my roommate, George Saba.

Oh, my God. The show. Could have been either. It was the show. Yeah, that was Matthew Perry. Wow, we're at $30 now. $1,030 because you said the word of the day. Dude.

Oh, right. $1,030. Yeah, it starts to add up towards the end of the show and I just like can't quite make ends meet is that from yours is a head gum money uh it's from my personal checking account yeah and it's hard because I'm not making

those WGA rates anymore I just make money off editing this podcast and my other but you are gonna send the money regardless right I'm gonna send it for sure it's just like because it's all you have to like suffer for your art and i think that it's better to make comedy let's go to the next question then seriously man i need my laptop for work and i can't charge it the last time i saw you you had it george again it's a continuation that's correct that's absolutely so yeah whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa that could be george reacting to something

that you said to him in response to the the follow-up was gonna be but i think it's from friends that's correct that's matt leblanc that's matt uh on the couch basically so the setup was uh david schwimmer was like doing this trivia bullshit and the rest of them are sitting on the couch. And I think Matt LeBlanc just kind of like leaned over and he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know, you think you did that? This is like the crux of the entire segment is that you're 100 percent sure that these things happen. I might not. Right. He might not have. Right.

He might not have. Also, you've never seen the show or the reunion, yet you might know a very specific moment where they sat on a couch together and said a line that doesn't even seem that noteworthy. I watched it for the segment. This is a genuine reaction that I had. I thought it was like a reunion episode, but it like a special yeah that's right yeah sorry you thought it was something else i'm genuinely i'm so it's i feel terrible that it was like the highest rated show ever on

hbo max this is actually the perfect time for the major key alert of the week um cool expectations can often lead to disappointment so i think that what we need to do is go into almost everything expecting nothing so you'll always be pleasantly surprised you know what i mean nice yeah for sure such a huge deviation from the segment what is going on are we still playing the game or no that's a valid question like is the game over i'm trying to win money no we're mid-segment i had to get a new charger if you took my old one can you please venmo me it seems like a really weird roommate to pull on me and to be honest it's made this week really hard for me yes that's George Sava how did you you're really good at this game

this is unbelievable actually your cleaning house that's $50 $1,050 we should say my roof is a mess oh that's from the friends special it's like yeah when they saw that yeah the helicopters taking a look at their house can I jump forward and just say that we're going to alternate between Friends, a TV show, and your roommate George over and over and over again?

That's incorrect. Oh. Are all the George ones related to this story about the charger? Yeah. I mean, you must be the worst to watch any movie with right because you're just sitting there being like oh is he gonna like end up with the girl at the end it's like just watch like just well there's a mirror but it's a mirror right my mom bought me the dvd series when i was in elementary school the tv show friends yeah yeah that was uh bts doesn't matter just

okay why was bts in it can i ask that because they're the biggest k-pop group in the world yeah yeah that felt like a like an hbo max decision where it's just like let's get a famous person in here to talk about it who's young and from another country yeah maybe i don't know i wasn't involved in the bts conversations just saw you turned my bed into another house I don't know how you could have done that without me noticing because we both work from home all day but what the fuck is going on you've transitioned to a new

part of your roommate relationship but it's still George that's correct um $1,070 pocketed this is crazy this is probably the most much well not really because you probably made head writer WGA rates on carpool for sure which is what 5600 a week what's the next one

just went outside and my car is painted a sickening shade of green call me so we can settle this like men george that's absolutely correct text what's that? text or he said that to you? that was a text yeah can I ask you a question?

yeah you know in these George scenarios you are painting yourself to be a real villain. How do you figure? It seems like George, if he knew what was good for him, he would end this relationship. Okay.

That's like not really what I wanted to hear from you. Cause like that makes that, that, what you saying this just now paints me out to be the villain. Cause people respect what you have to say. Cause you're the guest. Cool. So maybe you should, I hope George is listening.

Let's do the next one. And this TV show. Yes. That was said by Jennifer. Wait, sorry. That was said by Jennifer Andiston.

Um, Andiston. What's that? Did you. Andiston? What's that? Did you say Andiston? I. But just to be clear, you said her name correctly like two minutes ago. Didn't you? I guess because she said the word and it kind of tricked his brain into thinking that that word was also in her.

It was such a bad play on words I just thought he was like messing up her name damn Daniel back at it again with the white man alright so you beat those are mixed really loud for us still

yeah yeah next quote alright so you beat the shit out of me this time at Cedars for now. But when I get home, we're settling this like men. Yeah. I mean, friends took place in New York. So Cedars is the hospital in Los Angeles. So that was George.

Yeah, but they shot it in LA. That was correct. But they shot it in LA. They wouldn't include a line like that in the show. I. Stop. Stop. like that in the show i stop stop one letter fucking clues anybody could have said i that must have been said so many times to you on the special i'm gonna i'm gonna say the Friends show. Correct. That was said by Matthew Parry. I'm worried now. I'm genuinely worried that you're going to give us a clue of do

and you're going to award yourself the word of the week. Interesting. It can only be awarded once. Got it. It can't happen. Hi, Jeffrey. This is Larry Saba. I just heard the news about you killing my son George in a fisticuffs and I just wanted to say that I appreciate it

he was a total nerd in high school I asked him if he smoked weed and he laughed and said you know what that shit does to you, right? fucking square anyways, thanks again and let me know if you're ever in Cincinnati I have an older friend who just got divorced and she's looking to take on a sugar baby so basically she'd pay you for companionship and if anything sexual happened, that's fine

this is definitely not your roommate, George on a sugar baby. So basically, she'd pay you for companionship and if anything sexual happened, that's fine. This is definitely not your roommate, George. No, that was his dad, I think. That's correct. That was Larry Saba. How'd you know? Matthew Parai. Sorry, I have to respond to an email. Right now?

Yeah, this seems insane. ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത്ത� All right. All right, that's enough. I think we got the point. Okay, perfect. Yeah. What was your intent there? What's going on? This is another segment.

This is the price of Dwight. Okay. Hold for what? What were you waiting for there? Sorry, one second. No, please don't play the music. And then, Ferris, if you can mix that so it sounds like it's coming from the source audio

of David, Johnny, and Amir, that'd be great. No way. Three people? That was a full fucking canned audience laughter of 40. Ferris is our producer. Oh, okay. This is The Price of Dwight. Have you guys heard of The Price is Right?

David, you and I used to work above there. Yes, I know of it. Yeah. of the prices right david you and i used to work above there yes i i know of it yeah um basically on that show you guess the price of an object and the closest one to get it gets that object or that cash or whatever so this is the price of dwight right yeah you keep waiting for a fucking reaction that's not gonna happen yeah it's like yeah i completely agree with Amir. I'm going to list off some celebrities, Dwight, and you guys are going to basically guess. What's a celebrity's Dwight? Like celebrities named Dwight or who have played characters named Dwight.

Okay. Is this only going to be Rainn Wilson? No. Okay. Let's do it. All right. And some of them are going to be salaries. Some of them are going to be total net worth etc etc uh rain wait what we're doing salaries of celebrities named white yes again this is for actual cash so if you get if you get it right you get the amount of money divided by a hundred let's say because i say. Because I can't afford any of this.

But I could do a couple thousand. Sure. Go for it. By the way, the money thing, like, that can't listeners can't really care that much. Like, you're putting the burden

on yourself to, I guess, pay us when we don't need that i get $1,300 and then i had to borrow money from george to pay rent that month and i paid him back in two weeks after that yeah so when i hear that the takeaway is like that's on you i don't feel you shouldn't have done that yeah i don't feel bad for you. Yeah. Rainn Wilson's salary on The Office. Per episode, let's see. I'm going to say $350,000 an episode. Half a million.

It's lower. It's $225,000. All right, I'm going to go even lower. Let's say $70,000. No way. Come on. johnny that's insulting this man is a national treasure dwight is iconic we can't have any side talk jesus no i just don't think he's a national treasure like the show is maybe 285 what is it 440 it's 100,000 it's 100,000 per episode it's a nice clean number and that's a lot no it's a lot it seems low 20 in a season let's say that's two million dollars

yeah but you got to think in the height of like friends they were making a million an episode i think dwight was uh not quite there but like to think in the height of friends that were making a million an episode, I think Dwight was not quite there, but to think that he was getting half that seems possible. I would say the same. Where'd you find that? Google. Yeah, I might have started there and then gone up. Yeah.

Dwight D. Eisenhower's salary as President of the United States. Annual. $200,000. Are we adjusting for inflation 1953 what's that are we adjusting for inflation uh no i'm gonna say eighty five thousand dollars okay just tell us i'm gonna stick to my guns seventy thousand dollars a hundred thousand dollars a year. Okay. So basically a 20th of what Rainn Wilson made, which is kind of crazy

because what's just more important, playing Dwight Schrute or being the leader of the free world? Do another one. Dwight Howard's salary this season? $100,000. I see where you're going with that, though. I did wonder if somebody was going to go that route. Amir, you should know this.

I believe he signed the vet minimum one year at 2.3 million. Absolutely correct. Nice. That was really good. Good job, Amir. So what's 2.3 million divided by 100? No, you said divided by 10, didn't you? No, I said 100.

He said 100. Ferris, play that back. Yes. Divided by 100, let's say. I can't afford any of this. It's $23,000. Really? Yep. I thought it would have been $20,000. A tenth is $230,000, and then

a tenth of that is $23,000. That will ruin me. I don't have that. Find it. So ruin me. Yep. I don't have that. Find it. So don't give it. You don't have to offer it. He already offered it. Dwight Yoakam's net worth.

Who is Dwight Yoakam? He's an American country singer. Okay. Net worth $4 million. $1.5 million. $5 million. That's $50 million. $50 million USD as of 2020.

Let's go Dwight L. Moody. Who's that? He is the founder. Wait, Dwight Yoakam, a country star that none of us had heard of, his net worth is $50 million? We, a country star that none of us had heard of. Is this is net worth is 50 million dollars. We're not plugged into that scene. I bet like a couple people listening to this love Yoakam. Sure.

OK, yeah. OK, let's go to the next one. Dwight L. Moody. Who's that? He's the founder of the Moody Church. He was an evangelist who lived in Northfield, Massachusetts in the 19th century. So are you saying his net worth or the church's net worth? Well, it is one and the same, but let's go his.

$100 million. That was the dumbest guess I've ever fucking heard. He started a church. Those things are cash cows slash grabs. When was he alive? This was, I can get, Do you want the exact years? No, just a rough error. Give me a decade.

This would have been the 19th century. He was born in 1937 and he died way before the turn of the century. You're right, that was a dead giveaway. I would say $2 million. Johnny? Let's go one million i think it's zero dollars right he did it for the love of christ like he skirted by for sure and he lived in his parents house dwight morrow

who's that he was an American businessman and the ambassador to Mexico during the Coolidge and Hoover administrations. And what are you asking us for? His net worth. Currently? Well, he's dead, but at the time of his death. Not adjusted for inflation or adjusted. Where'd you find this one?

This one would have been Google. $15,000. Net worth was $15,000. He was a businessman and then an ambassador. The last whites, his net worth was zero and you told us to that

like a mic drop. You just tricked all of us. I'm sorry if I'm trying to adjust my gameplay yeah two million dollars $100,000 $300,000

there's no way this could be part of the game listen to you this is ridiculous tell us the amount and move on this 10 million dollars adjusted for inflation it's 150 million dollars Okay, let's just move on to the next segment. It feels a little stagnant now, and the music playing isn't really helping. Okay.

Sorry about that. Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. It's also funny, you can tell the sign... Sorry, there's a delay on that one. I hit it before you started talking. The sign of a good game is when you reveal the answers and it's just complete

silence by all of the guests. Yeah. Like nobody cares who this random guys fake salary was adjusted for inflation. Go find yourself. Yeah. You added that. Like it was going to be like,

Whoa, it's that much money. It's like, Holy shit. I can't believe that. Yeah. If anything, that's like a cool fact about inflation.

But like, it doesn't matter. Yeah. It doesn't matter how much money this dead man has. Like the 12th Dwight on this game. It's like, oh my, yeah, who gives a fuck? It's actually a good note. I think I maybe overdid it with the Dwight segment. it's actually a good note I think I maybe overdid it with the Dwight segment

it's the first time I've ever heard you be introspective about this train wreck plugs David what are you working on tell the people point the people towards something he's yawning so he's got to be overworked what are those jobs

our AC is out in my house and so I get very tired quickly. It's going to get hot this weekend into next week. You better get that fixed. The AC guy is coming tomorrow. I love that for you. Thank you so much. So nothing to plug?

Oh, nothing to plug? Is it a cooling issue or electrical? Follow me at atgabudge. It's a compressor issue with the second AC. Follow me at at Gabuch. Unverified. Yeah. But verifiably funny.

Nice. You should change your bio to that. Did you apply for verification? They just opened it up again. No, I have not. No. Yeah. I feel like your priorities shifted because you became a dad.

What is verification at that point? That's kind of my brand. My brand is desperate dad. It is, yeah. I go hard at that. You what? I go hard at that. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah.

Jesus. No, it's fine. Just like power through onwards. I might actually have Ferris cut that out just to make you look better. Johnny, anything to plug? I mean, you didn't have to be so mean to David. No, I don't know what I just, I don't even know what I did. It's a turn of phrase that many people use.

I'm going to go hard at something. I think you did you mistake that for being like a sexual thing? No, it wasn't sexual. It was slang from 2004. Johnny? All right. Okay. In terms of plugs.

Why are you guys like sullen? I thought we had a lot of fun. You're so aggressive to me and then you kind of loop Johnny and he's going to side with you and it makes him probably feel uncomfortable. I'm sorry to speak for you, Johnny. No, you're absolutely correct.

Thank you. It's like when you lash out at somebody at a public place and then you look to somebody like, can you believe this guy? And you agree with the other guy. Sometimes you're staring at the second person. You're like, what is your problem? But like staring at your friend, like talking, like urging him to join you for this common enemy. But like the enemies in theory on our side against you in this case.

Yes. Yeah. That was probably, I mean, Amir is a slightly more complicated way of describing that, but. Yeah. Yeah. You basically don't like Jeff. Yes. Yeah. I mean, Amir is a slightly more complicated way of describing that, but... Yeah. We basically don't like Jeff. Yes. Sorry. That's very direct and clear.

Yeah. Which leads me to my plug. Unfollow at Jeffrey James on Instagram. No absolute way. Because last week your plug was to follow me. Yeah, but you've just been so sour this entire recording that I just feel obligated to tell people to not follow you anymore.

What if I do better next week? Then I'll tell people to follow you. All right, yeah. How many episodes of this have you guys done? This is the pilot. No, I think we've done 54. Unaired pilot. 54, wow.

Can I do, I guess now that I have Amir on the line, can I do other HeadGum podcasts? Oh, you're asking me if you'll be on. Sure, which ones do you want to be on? Whichever. You should go on Keep the Vibers. Do you have a fun time that you want to like, you want to keep the vibe going?

I want to keep the vibe going. I want to keep the vibe going. I want to keep on rolling. Well, you should come by the new office. We just moved in this week. Okay. I feel like if Johnny had said that, you would have been much more happy about it. No, Johnny's leaving, though. Correct.

So I wouldn't get to see Johnny. Yeah. I mean, he's right. He's totally right on that. It's in Silver Lake. We have a basketball hoop. Wait,

you're, you, you, you no longer downtown moved this week. And is it, is there a office in New York too? Yeah. Williamsburg.

Wow. Cool. Wow. Cool. Wow. Sorry, I have some genuine questions that I guess I could just talk to my long-time good friend Amir. I could just ask him. This is the first. Yeah, right. Yeah.

Because you'd never heard the show. Never. Now what do you think it's confusing yes yeah unsettling yeah that's a good one and you know what's so funny is I'm not saying

those words as part of this bit yes from the second we hit record I have been confused yeah was there any point that you felt comfortable? No. Yeah. And that's largely on you. And yeah,

that's the end of the review. You don't have to like now sort of press and figure out the nuances behind that. He's telling you he was uncomfortable from the get go because of you. No followups, full stop. End of criticism. Yes.

And also I would even say to me like there is there wasn't any nuance because there didn't need to be exactly yeah you deserve to be bluntly told you are simply not good yes follow me on insta um adamir at a boy and uh we'll be back just say adamir because it's going to be confusing people are going to search adamir at a boy you're 40 we had a baby at a boy and remember that 1-800 collect commercial 1-800 collect bob we add a baby it's a boy maybe maybe a little too old for this crowd. Yeah, tough room. Yes.

1-800-collect. It was payphones. Yeah, payphone commercial. Yeah. They had commercials for payphones? No, it was for 1-800-collect. Yeah, 1-800-collect. Oh, it's like 1-800-flowers.

You don't need to understand it. It's fine. It won't affect you. Next week, everyone, we'll see you guys. No, let's figure this out. So what could I have done differently to make you feel more included? Is that the issue? You felt like you weren't a part of the team?

You thought it was like us three versus you? Who are you talking to? The answer is yes to all of us sorry yeah and i got a text message so i was reading it all right awesome um we'll see you guys again next week thanks so much for listening to the show uh at jeffrey james on instagram at jeff boyardee on twitter uh follow david it's just done it's just done now i don't know yeah seems like everybody wants to get the hell out of Dodge. Thanks to David for coming, right?

Yeah, thank you so much to David for coming. Yeah, we'll see you guys again next week. Follow David on Instagram and Twitter, at Gabuch. And I'll follow up with you over text, just where you want to point people towards in terms of whether it's Wonderland Elementary or whether it's a magnet charter in a way.

As to where my kids go to school? Because Gideon seems to be showing some talents in terms of the visual arts. I don't have someone named Gideon in my family. I gotta head out. Later, guys. Yep. Bye-bye.

And they all left the Zoom. That was a Hiddem Original.