The Headgum Podcast - 58: Dane
Episode Date: July 9, 2021Headgum's newest hire Dane joins Amir, Danny, and Geoff to discuss The Rock, Independence Day, and The Book of Genesis!BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumba...ll.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Original.
Previously on the HeadGum Podcast.
What's the vibe of this podcast?
What is like, where are we supposed to be emotionally?
Oh, George, how you feel right now, it's going to continue and intensify.
Got it, okay. So we're supposed to be experiencing an ambient awkwardness. Yes. Okay,ify it. Got it. Okay. So we're supposed to, we're supposed to be experiencing an ambient awkwardness.
Yes.
Okay.
Got it.
And you're supposed to leave before the podcast is done,
which I didn't know my first time.
And I stayed till the end.
You're not supposed to do that.
It's just some people kind of,
they hit a threshold and they can't take it anymore. Hello.
It's John Cena!
it's john c headgum's newest hire dane how do you how do you pronounce your last name cardell uh cardiel
cardiel great cardiel at it again with the white van damn daniel back at it again with the white
welcome to the thunderdome dane first. First week in Edgum.
He's already entering the lion's den.
So, wow.
Word of the week.
Dan, that's $1,000 to me.
You guys can split it evenly.
That's $333 from each of you.
Dan, San Diego native.
Let's start you off with a major key alert.
When you're in San Diego,
you gotta hit up Swami's you gotta focus
that you're all over the yeah we did the loudest yeah I you know I I don't know
her yeah yeah and you're going to frenetic yeah it's too and you also ask
them how to pronounce his lap name. Yeah, never mind.
That was supposed to be the first sound just to announce Dane. Are you on drugs?
Am I on drugs?
Yeah.
I'm off three cold brews, and that's only within the past 45 minutes.
Right.
That's good.
Amir, you were saying?
I didn't mean to cut you off.
It's just so much of it, so fast.
You introduced Dane, and it was really loud.
You asked him how to pronounce his last name mid-introduction, cut you off it's just so much of it so fast like you introduced dane and it was really loud you
asked him how to pronounce his last name mid introduction which is like obviously gonna slow
down everything but then you kept powering through yeah you haven't even said that danny and me are
on the show at all and now you're like moving on to like san diego recommendations nobody knows
anything no focus with this is always amir blumenfeld danny sellers on the sacks and uh
i mean what else is there to say but head comes newest hire dane cardiel he's a he's a
all-star coming over from simple cast which is actually the rss feed that we use for this show
in the show for this yeah this is the only show that i was able to successfully get over from one
of our competitors at the time but uh i'll start off with a confessional just to
be vulnerable with you so that we can connect i hated simplecast when i first started using oh no
because i was coming from art 19 and at first i was like i don't know how to do the ad things
it's very confusing two months in i was like this is 10 times better than art 19 art 19 sucks
yeah relax well don't have to start burning bridges
yeah that wasn't me saying that
yeah that was Danny
saying that
on the record
has Danny been on this show before
has he endured this
yeah okay cool
I've been down this road before
it's a very steep windy road but I've been here before. I've been down this road before. It's a very steep, windy road, but I've been here before.
I'm surprised this podcast has some listenership.
How did that happen?
That's a good question.
How did this?
How are people listening?
And why, really?
You say traffic has gone up?
The first two words of that question is good.
The rest of it kind of trails off.
What I was going to ask is, how does cardiel do yeah how do i do how do you do okay so we're doing this thing where if i ask a question
you just ask me a different question back and we kind of just forget that i ever said yeah
that wasn't a transition you just changed his. He asked you why people listen to this show,
how traffic has gone up,
when it's clearly such a shit show, a mess,
a loud nuisance.
And you're saying that the numbers indicate
that more and more.
Oh, wow.
Wow is right.
That's kind of rude, actually,
considering how much time.
Well, actually, just to give you, I guess,
some perspective, I'll just...
Coming in, I feel like everyone is kind of on you, Jeff.
And I'm kind of wondering why that is.
I actually like you.
I appreciate that.
We are almost one and the same.
I'm not going to change my opinion of you
just because everyone is quite negative, I would say.
But again, this is a i guess a comedy
shop so maybe there's some tough love underneath the the surface there you haven't
yeah you haven't done this show yet so like jeff tread really lightly like dane hasn't turned
against you because everybody yeah yeah is that LeBron?
he doesn't say 100% he says like he'll basically talk about how
there's some conversations that we need to have and things of that
nature
he says and things of that nature every other sentence
yeah and things of that nature
that's true
Dane we've caught lightning in a bottle here
I don't really know what else to say this
kind of one two punch at Shaq and Kobe
with me and Danny
I think Danny's probably Kobe
I think I'm Shaq cause I'm like
dependent I'm Rick Fox
Robert Ori
Robert Ori is pretty good
the hottest forward what'd you say?
I said the hottest forward. I thought you said
an honest forward, which I also
would use to describe... That too.
To describe Danny
Sellers. Um, Dane,
we should say...
Brooklyn, New York.
Wait,
yeah, you should say that, but that
is a... that is an
old address of mine. Did you look up my credit score illegally?
I did a background check.
Okay, interesting.
I did a background check on Spokio.
On Spokio?
You haven't got heart attack?
I'm having heartburn because of the coffee.
You didn't react at all to that.
I thought you were going to be a little upset.
We will bleep that out, but basically,
this is the first time I docked someone without asking them for the address.
So I searched your name on Spokio,
which I have a premium account on.
Stop.
And that was the one that came up.
Burping.
It's disgusting.
Don't eat before the show.
What about Olivia Burpee?
So it's Gerky doing burpees.
What?
What is Spokio? it's a good question what you did say spokio a lot without ever like
stopping to mention the fact that it's like what a background check website spokio is basically a
background check website i almost got my my ass kicked at that address actually um by who there
was a there there was a thing that happened where a bunch of
packages were getting stolen in the front um and then uh and then i guess like they got like a
screenshot of the video of the person stealing the package and it was you no it wasn't me they uh
and they were saying if you see this person, call the police.
And I'm like, I don't want the police to show up here for any reason.
So I ripped it down.
The dude got a video of me ripping it down and came to my door saying, why the fuck did you rip this down?
And what'd you say?
I said, I don't want the cops to show up here.
Like, figure it out. Like, yeah.
You know, request for a signature.
And then he tried to beat the shit out of you?
Well, no.
Then it was just like eye stares for like six months and really uncomfortable.
Not the best.
So that's why you moved?
That's why I moved, yeah.
And where are you at now?
Well, we talked about Hudson Valley last week,
so we can't.
Yeah, but don't tell him he'll say it
and accidentally leak it
nothing good can come of Jeff
I guess that was actually another question of mine
when it comes to like I guess this
pretty decent
listenership here
what is it like to interact with
fans Jeff you have fans right
no Amir has fans and then sometimes
they can't get to him so they dm me i get dm sometimes too now it's kind of interesting it's
like a danny has fan kevin bacon amir's the new kevin bacon i feel like yeah i get that a lot
they used to call you amir bacon no they didn't
just so you know on this show it's okay to break it's okay to like laugh
yeah he clearly didn't think that was funny why would it be funny
they used to call you a mere bacon is the joke you think he was stifling laughter for
on a friday, sun's out.
Before a holiday weekend.
Yeah.
Summer Friday, 4.15 p.m.
Let's talk about the 4th of July.
Let's talk about Independence Day.
Dan, Danny, any plans?
Any plannies?
Nice.
Try to watch some stand-up comedy, do some stand-up
comedy, take
naps, walk the dog.
Simple, simple shit. I need to get a
grill. I don't have a grill here in LA yet.
I got a grill for free a couple weeks ago
on Memorial Day.
Check Craigslist. There could be people
trying to just get rid of old grills. Danny, do you have
a backyard? Do they have backyards in LA?
I have a little terrace.
Terrace. trying to just get rid of old grills. Danny, do you have a backyard? Do they have backyards in LA? I have a little terrace. You know, terrace.
Terrace.
You know, concrete.
Little situation.
I could fit a little something back there.
Are you going to grill out?
No, I don't have a grill yet.
That's the whole point of this.
No, if you get one tomorrow or Sunday.
Oh, yeah.
Then, yeah, 100%.
I think it's a good catalyst.
Because we got it for Memorial Day,
and we were like, we have to get it for this thing.
And that was a good push to get it versus other times times to be like, yeah, I should get a grill.
But then you probably won't for a couple of months.
This is dope.
I don't have any plans.
I think I'm going to maybe do kayaking on my kayak.
On the Hudson?
Somewhere.
Yeah.
And I, you know, I used to golf in high school.
This is a really dumb to to like to do
um it's very san diego it's fun right for me um and i met a friend golfing recently i have no
friends up here um but uh yeah he wanted to go golfing on on monday so i might do that what's
your uh what's your handicap i'm like plus 11 plus 10 i i do like this oculus mini golf game and i know the
i know the verbiage you know birdie eagle albatross bogey double bogey the dreaded triple bogey
handicap is basically how many strokes above par average you shoot on average is that correct
that's right so 11 is pretty good considering yeah yeah amongst 18 holes or now that's like
half birdies or half pars half bogeys that'll give you a nine over yeah that's that's that's 18
oh yeah isn't that
whatever
my dog does not like that
um what uh what are you doing Jeff for the weekend
tomorrow my roommate
and I booked a cheap
hotel room downtown just so
we can use the rooftop pool
and then
on the 4th we're going to a friend's barbecue
so you book a hotel then you
get a hotel key but you
don't use the hotel key
you just go to the pool and never go into the room
are you using the room as like a changing room for 300 dollars move on dame that was the first
thing i've never heard of that before how much is the room it was like a hundred something dollars
and we have eight friends splitting it eight ways. So you grab eight people
and you give them...
They don't check to see...
Because you're not getting eight keys, right?
You're just swiping people up like it's a
fucking dining hall in college.
This has become a cross-examination.
Right? Am I on trials?
How old are you, Jeff?
Me? I'm 23.
Really? Yeah.
That's pretty good. did you think older or younger
i thought at least 26 27 damn you're a rough 23 bro that's rough
the issue is i've been in the sun without sunscreen too many years so it's all starting to crack
uh dan how was your first week at head gum is it week and a half or just week yeah about a week and a half it's been i mean that's danny i mean he he's kind of had to have me around for most of
it danny i've liked it i'm just a mere uh vessel of help that's all i am i think we're all doing
a great job we're all helping each other that's the goal right really yeah it's every man for
his fucking self.
Oh, that's a bad attitude.
Well, we should tell the listeners that basically these two guys work in podcast acquisitions, which is basically poaching, being sharks, getting other shows from other networks, scheming
in a way.
That's not true.
And it's a commission-based pace.
No, it's not.
So if Danny gets 12 shows, that's 12 grand to his name
I'm smoking a cigarette and having a big
suit on in the
penthouse of my apartment
this is like Glen Gary Glen Ross
people deliver leads
and then you sort of are angling
because you're desperate for the sweet leads
always be acquisitions
Dan let's talk about it
just got done cold calling
100 podcasts right before um yeah but what what's the the rosebud thorn of
working at head gum so far thorn first to get the negative out of the way um
no negatives yet actually you know everyone's super nice super funny um maybe a little mean
you know i think i would have cooled cooled it a little bit on being so mean to one particular
person in the chat for sure in the slack yeah um but now i'm realizing why why that is so i feel
like if all right if folks were a little strategic about that that would have been a little better
you hear that jeff he's starting to turn. You hear that, Jeff?
He's starting to turn on you.
He begins 16 minutes in,
and he starts to at least understand why people are mean to you.
That's sort of like step one.
Well, now that you're 23,
I feel like that's now just like a different, you know.
26, I was like, okay, like this guy, you know, he's got it together.
No.
Yeah.
But then you hear that he splits hotel rooms with eight friends and then
they swipe each other into a pool area right that's that's wild you're welcome to come
no thank you is it going to work like that's a good question is it going to work we won't but
what if eight people is like maybe four it might be eight it might be ten because I invited my buddy Eli.
That's like half the people up there
all using the same key.
We're all going to go in a group.
It's going to be fine to bad.
I'm also the youngest of my friends.
Most of my friends are like 25, 28.
Yeah, what hotel?
Freehand.
You gestured at me.
How old do you think I am?
I think you're 29.
29, okay, cool.
And how old are you?
Wait, didn't you have a premium service that gives you my age?
Oh, you're 32.
Ask Spokio.
How do you remember it?
Because I did it like 40 minutes ago.
Oh my God.
What a creep.
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We have one more thing to get to and then we have a segment.
Dan, number of sexual partners in your entire life?
Don't ask that.
Don't answer it.
Next question.
Next question.
All right.
That actually should be on there. Don't answer it. Bonus points for saying their full legal names. Next question. Next question. All right. That actually should be on there.
On Spokia.
I actually ran into a high school ex of mine last night.
Here we go.
Dane Johnson.
Do you guys know Dwayne Johnson?
He's actually known as The Rock.
Yeah.
So this is Dane The Rock Johnson.
Dane, I'm going to give you, I'm going to text you privately in the chat
some lines from Dwayne Johnson movies,
and you're going to do your best to deliver them as you would.
Does that sound good?
Yeah, I mean, we'll see.
It doesn't, but we'll do it anyway, I guess.
So do your best, The Rock.
There's your cot.
Don't jack off on my sheets.
I'm so sorry, but that's not how that's not how the rock would ever do that there's no way the rock ever said that
no he said that that was in baywatch are you just trying to get sort of out of context um
is this just your like out of context uh grift no i mean that one was pretty blue to be sure
but he said that in baywatch and that didn't
sound like the rock so try it again this time try and sound like the rock duane the rock johnson we
should say can you give me an example of the rock i i honestly don't don't oh yeah so basically he'll
often be like uh hey hey uh hey hey skip why don't you get on this ship? He's like sly.
He's like deep voice like that.
Kind of like masculine in a way.
He's jacked to be sure.
I guess I have to like think that I have like a big neck, right?
Yeah, basically like this.
That's good.
With all due respect, Captain,
when this whole thing is over,
we're going to find a location and i'm gonna knock
your teeth so far down your throat you're gonna stick a toothbrush right up your ass to brush them
so this is all from no that's from uh fast and furious like porn hub subtitles first one's about
j-o and these are like just the first couple that i saw here we go this is wild i'll
tell you what who you're not oh wait let me let me start over yeah i'm trying to find dwayne oh yeah
yeah so well paid you gotta know the difference between what and who i'll tell you who we're not
we're not people who shove staples into other people's heads that's cia crap nice
so that's get smart amir get smart you mean central intelligence no get smart with fucking
michael scott what's his name steve carell carol yeah what is this these are all such forgettable
movies that he's in he's such a big movie star but like I haven't seen any of these movies, nor do I remember any of them.
How is he the Arnold of our generation?
Go for it, Dan.
Bustin' Weebles.
Experience the heat.
Bustin' Weebles.
Catch the magic.
Bustin' Weebles.
Catch who writes this.
Do you mind if I give you a line read?
Yeah, please.
It's Boston Webbles, experience the heat.
Boston Webbles, catch the magic.
Boston Webbles, catch... Who writes this?
Because that was actually from The Game Plan
with Madison Pettis.
And he had like a...
I've never even heard of any of these movies.
The Game Plan?
Get smart?
What are these films that he's in? How did he
become so successful?
How is he such a bankable
movie star? I really don't know. I've not heard
of these. Yeah. Have you guys
seen these movies? No.
None.
Fast and Furious.
That was Dwayne Johnson how did you think
yeah nevermind
so disappointed
this is where it should cut
or right here
sounds like jc penney's music yeah in the elevator ferris will cut this out but
uh you guys promised me you were going to really bring the heat today.
At the very beginning,
I said, I need high energy.
I need you guys on your A game.
Everyone agreed, and so far, Danny's the only one who's fucking delivered.
The last game was just Dane
reading movie lines that nobody's heard of.
How much energy can one bring to that?
What did you want us to do during that?
Also, you spelled Boston four different ways in in that sentence i didn't write it welcome to daining excitement
oh god have you guys ever feigned excitement yes so this is daining excitement so basically
i'm gonna list something that dane hates and uh dane you're going to have to react as if you're really excited about it.
These are all fucking Dane acting challenges.
What is going on here?
Dane acting for short.
Here we go.
The last one was Dane reading The Rock lines.
And now this is Dane feigning excitement.
Like, what do you want me and Dane to do while Dane is taking this fucking twisted acting class from you?
We could, uh...
I mean, you guys can feign excitement
if you want.
I'm trying to figure it out, because, like,
what could you guys be doing? Do you guys have, like,
tasks you need to get done?
We could just talk about things that we
hate to get to know each other, you know?
I'm not going to feign
excitement over cops. I'm telling you that right now. Especially not J-O. Well, you haven other you know like that I'm not gonna faint excitement over cops I'm telling you that
right now like I
well you haven't heard the way that I phrased
all this shit
and if it doesn't work it doesn't work
the Dodgers won the World Series
that's it that silence
was it I mean what hates the Dod dodgers so here we go that's really
hard for him to feign excitement all right now just picture you're in this headspace uh you're
done eating at a restaurant but can't figure out if people want to stay longer or get the check
and you have to be excited about that what excited about what
are you kidding me that's not an exciting moment this is daily excitement
we know so far the first one is like yeah really exciting and then the second one is like this
weird moment where people don't know whether to stand or sit who would ever be excited about
the worst part of eating does this show need producer? I feel like I know some folks that actually would be willing
to help out.
Alright. This is the turning
moment. I feel like
it's like a self-inflicting wound,
you know, Jeff, that maybe
taking a step back, like
why do people turn on me?
It's like, well, we could have had
a really fun moment on the show
where it was things that
wasn't embarrassing me for sure yeah in the process you're putting dane in a position to
fail i'm daining him you're what it's like shame and dane all right dan you wave to your neighbor
and they don't wave back dane excitement oh yeah i mean thank god fuck that guy fuck that guy i'm excited about it uh yeah like
how do you communicate excitement via via audio it's a bad premise but also the situations are
also not good so it's like you're digging a really deep hole that's nearly impossible for
dainty all right we should take some listener feedback how would they have crafted an episode to welcome
a new member on a team that is
only still 16 people
like
all right what about this
you fucked around and now you're gonna find out
you can't see it
because this is a podcast
but I was excited yeah
I was excited all right
congratulations Dean a podcast, but I was excited. Yeah, I was excited. All right.
Congratulations,
Dan.
Congratulations. Fantastic.
Ruining my favorite.
When you,
when you asked me for those things,
I was like,
Oh,
this is going to be fun.
Yeah.
And I can't believe how the opposite of fun that was.
Yeah.
You made us.
Okay.
Do you have a size 38?
Are you a size 38?
No, 34.
34, 34. Oh, I thought you meant suit.
What are you, 42 regular?
Do you have this in the extra large or no you probably afford it too
tall can you check out the back please
welcome to cain and abel or Dane and Abel's.
Oh my God.
Jesus Christ.
Come on, man.
We got to turn this around.
We got to turn this around.
Absolutely read the room.
Kind of religious. Are you guys familiar with morals?
Like the muscle or the mushroom?
Yes, of course the the mushroom yes of course the mushroom this is i was so excited about these and it's just not going the way i thought it would so now it's like to start this one which is
the worst of the three wow and that's saying a lot because the last one is
deigning excitement that a neighbor didn't wave back to you.
I'm trying to figure out, is this me or is this...
The energy you're feeling is
what the show is.
And hearing that tension
is joyful because those
other people listening are on the outside.
And so it's like
you're on the Titanic and you're
just in the basement but you're on the side that's
not flooding so you feel this fucking wave of euphoria nice nice that's a good metaphor
yeah we're all dying jake does say that he hates being on the show but loves listening to it right
that's correct have you got the log line yeah
have you guys read cain and abel genesis it's uh it's in the bible in the first half of the bible
yeah and the first third of the book of mormon this is something that i can do yeah so uh
my sister went to the yale divinity school the first testament of the bible is mythology it's
not supposed to be taken literally c Cain and Abel weren't
real people, even at the
time of the book's writing. It was
like a Greek myth. It was, what is the moral of
the story? And the moral of the story,
Amir,
is what we're going to get into. But also,
Dane, I can't help but
feel like
you might be a little bit of an
enabler, man.
An enabler? Yeah, like maybe your buddy is addicted to for lack of a better term cancer sticks and you buy him american spirits yeah i
could i could see myself doing that what's wrong with that it's it well it's enabling right it's
it's uh so this is perfect actually we're gonna get in we just glossed over the sister going to yale too that was in there
that was a salad levels of just like what is he talking about
that's a good cold open for the show is Danny yelling,
what are you talking about?
Which you can probably make a soundboard item
and drop every 30 seconds of this show.
Easily.
Basically, I'm going to list off morals.
And you tell me if it comes from the story of Cain and Abel or the story of Dane's life, which is that Dane and Abel's.
Okay.
That was a great introduction.
All right.
Sorry.
Anger is okay as long as it doesn't lead you to violence.
We should say this is for actual cast.
Who should answer this question?
Should we let Danny?
First person to answer.
Cain and Abel.
Correct.
That's $50 to the man in blue.
Anger is good,
and you should wield it to power your decisions.
That's Dane and Abel.
Correct.
That's absolutely right.
That's $100 so far to Amir
um it's also $50
owed to me for every wrong answer
so yeah guess wisely
worshipping God is serious business
Cain enable
correct that's absolutely right
worshipping false idols
is ideal to have.
Dane and Abel.
That's absolutely right.
Why is it Dane and Abel's?
What did he do to enable that is what I'm wondering.
I mean, I'm seeing a lot of objects found or otherwise in Dane's Zoom background.
It's looking like there might
be things that could be
satanic in nature.
Oh my god!
God or karma or
the universe, whatever you want to call it, will dole out
punishment, not man
himself.
Basically, you can't take
matters
into your own hands.
Yeah, Cain and Abe.
I'm sorry that nobody else is guessing.
Absolutely correct.
Amir is cleaning house.
This is actually starting to become a bit of a problem.
$250.
You don't have to Venmo me $250.
No, no, I'm a man of my word.
Take matters into your own hands whenever possible and own a gun for sure.
I mean, I feel bad that nobody else is chiming in.
Dan enables.
Yeah, exactly right.
Yeah.
There are consequences to sin.
You're not even slowing down.
Why would I slow down?
I asked for high energy.
And again, Danny's the only one fucking bringing it.
When I edit this shit, right?
There's pauses that can be chalked up to the Zoom delay.
And then if someone's really on their A game, it's overlapping dialogue.
I don't even have to make L cuts, Dane.
So when Danny cuts me off and says, what the fuck are you talking about?
That's good comedy.
And he knows timing.
Amir, you've been at this game for what?
20 fucking years?
And look at you, man.
See?
What was that pause?
You're supposed to come back with a quip.
Dane, I'm so sorry you have to see me like this.
You're not.
You fucking get off to this shit.
Hedonism should be everyone's North Star.
Dane enabling. Correct.
Danny's going over $50.
Tail end of the game.
That's what I call a buzzer beater.
What is that?
Where is that sound bite from?
I think it's a royalty free like CD of game show music.
It seems like a VH1 reality TV show.
I used to watch VH1 and MTV for the music videos. Like they had that one show where it was debuting new artists music.
I think it was TRL.
Yeah.
Right.
But like,
like YouTube rewatch or total request live.
But it was like,
like I remember when Taylor Swift's first music video came out on that and I
just watched it live. I was like, Oh, she's pretty good. And I remember a little,'s first music video came out on that, and I just watched it live.
I was like, oh, she's pretty good.
And I remember a little less 16 Candles,
a little more Touch Me by Fall Out Boy.
That one scared the shit out of me.
Oh, okay.
Danny, what's your Venmo?
You don't have to, because now we have to Venmo you back.
It's just this weird thing.
Stop sending us cash.
Is it Danny Sellers 3?
Yeah, that's the one. it's the one with the white guy
he is white it just loaded
is it
is it Wes OK Gnarly 1?
yep
no it isn't you just want me to send $50 to somebody
who won't send it back
this is the risk you have to
take to make content
what a journey it's been and i don't mean this podcast i mean your 32 years have led you to this
point and how do you feel i you know i i like amir i like danny this has been nice to see that
them here you know i like I would like to come back.
Please let me come back.
But I think, you know, I was actually thinking,
because I listen, you know, I am a subscriber,
a follower now of the podcast.
I feel like if Marika was here,
that was your biggest mistake,
not having Marika on the show today.
She said that she was available.
Yeah, that was kind of awkward, too.
It was like, okay, Jeff, really? Well, i don't want to have her wow jesus see it's a cycle of negativity you know just like
you can't stop it you know we need to jump out of the stream brené brown says that setting
boundaries is the most loving thing you can do and what's that who said that Brene Brown are you seriously not a brown head what a brown that's
what my uh childhood bully called me actually that's super yeah that's hilarious actually
they might be listening to this and I hope they are actually somebody dm'd me a really aggressive
paragraph about how they needed to know my ethnicity and I didn't respond and then
12 hours later they said
wow motherfuckers get
13,000 followers on Instagram and think
they're too famous to respond to a DM
you asked me a kind of offensive
question say whatever the rock is
yeah that's cool
Polynesian
yeah
yeah
yeah
what do you do at head gum jeff
that's actually a great question yeah it's funny because i've been meeting a lot of new people
uh now that everyone's kind of vaccinated and everything uh and people ask me what i do and
i said i just say i work in podcast and what context do you meet people i feel like you're you're are you trying to like kind of give
like some you're dating no no no no okay i'm single like a dating okay no like parties and
i went bowling i beat my friend my roommate by one in bowling on the last frame danny it was a
seller's did you beat him or did he just not catch up to you no he was up by 16 before the last frame, Danny. It was a seller's move. Did you beat him or did he just not catch up to you?
No, he was up by 16
before my last frame
and so I needed to get 17 or better.
I got a spare the first roll and then
all I needed was a 7 and I got it.
It was 106 to 105. It was the
coolest thing that's ever happened to me because I'm not
athletically inclined.
So I
really have not stopped thinking about that.
But yeah, like settings like that,
bowling, some new people showed up,
meeting them, they asked me what I do.
I say I work in podcasting
and they say, what do you do in podcasting?
And depending on whether I like them
and feel like we could actually have a conversation or not,
I'll either tell them or not.
But when I tell them,
I say that I'm technically a producer,
but I only produce the shows that I host.
So it's a weird setup.
Yeah.
And that's all you say?
You shouldn't represent our brand in public anymore than you already have.
So if somebody sees you out and about, I need you to never mention HeadGum lest they associate that name and likeness
with, well, you.
Tim Kalpakis had a really funny tweet.
It said, he said,
it's so hot that I put an ice cube in my well
ass um i can see that on the out of context head gum podcast twitter account already yeah and if
you don't follow it that's my that's my plug for today follow what is it ootc just search out of
out of context head gum podcast who does that is that something we do
it's a fan
I don't know who does it
they pick really good quotes
I thought for sure
it was Jeff
just behind the scenes
just kind of
I mean it might be
yeah
everybody thinks I'm a
fucking loser
like when people do
anything
they're like oh Jeff's
probably behind that
I'm like no
I'm not that sad
I believe that
that was right everybody
does think you're a fucking loser not because of the twitter stuff i don't believe this is
tragic holy shit fair to say is that fairest to say so jeff what are you doing for rock history that's history for people who are that color who are the rock
plugs i already gave mine it's the out of context head gum pod on twitter danny follow sellers
instagram twitter if you want to book me on a show in la please dm me i would love to do it
comedy hell yeah dane the prodigal son.
What do you have going on?
Point to people to the floor is yours.
Um,
I will.
I was going to plug ice,
but then he didn't,
then he didn't say plug. So it kind of like ruined my joke.
Um,
but,
uh,
yeah,
I guess Twitter is where I'm at.
Uh,
Dane cardio.
I guess I also plug that I'm going to be in LA pretty soon.
You'll see the office. You'll see everybody here.
When are you coming?
July 12th through the 17th.
Oh shit.
It's going to be a good time.
Is it a work trip or are you just here for something else?
No, work trip.
Sweet. Jake will be here too, I think.
Huge of truth.
We should plan something. Huge of truth. The studio's almost done.
We should plan something.
Maybe a dinner.
That'd be cool.
Absolutely.
With all
f***ing thousand of your friends, Jeff.
F***ing three thousand.
Racially ambiguous.
Jeff and a bunch of like
curly-haired white chicks
just hanging.
And you can follow me on Instagram at Jeffrey James on Twitter at Jeff YRD check out
some of head gums new shows check out keeping records
check out fucking the cast
I love drag her that would have
been a great question to ask me what
head gum shows do you like as a new
employee that would be like how
nice would it be if Jeff was like what head gum shows do you like and a new employee? That would be like, how nice would it be if Jeff was like,
what head gum shows do you like?
And then Dane had like a nice list of.
Oh my God.
It just ended.
Couldn't take the pressure of being critiqued at all.
Even constructively.
I don't know if we're going to cut to Zach.
I'm still recording locally but the Zoom
basically Jeff quit the Zoom
that was a Hidgum Original.