The Headgum Podcast - 58: Dane

Episode Date: July 9, 2021

Headgum's newest hire Dane joins Amir, Danny, and Geoff to discuss The Rock, Independence Day, and The Book of Genesis!BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumba...ll.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. What's the vibe of this podcast? What is like, where are we supposed to be emotionally? Oh, George, how you feel right now, it's going to continue and intensify. Got it, okay. So we're supposed to be experiencing an ambient awkwardness. Yes. Okay,ify it. Got it. Okay. So we're supposed to, we're supposed to be experiencing an ambient awkwardness. Yes. Okay.
Starting point is 00:00:27 Got it. And you're supposed to leave before the podcast is done, which I didn't know my first time. And I stayed till the end. You're not supposed to do that. It's just some people kind of, they hit a threshold and they can't take it anymore. Hello. It's John Cena!
Starting point is 00:01:01 it's john c headgum's newest hire dane how do you how do you pronounce your last name cardell uh cardiel cardiel great cardiel at it again with the white van damn daniel back at it again with the white welcome to the thunderdome dane first. First week in Edgum. He's already entering the lion's den. So, wow. Word of the week. Dan, that's $1,000 to me. You guys can split it evenly.
Starting point is 00:01:35 That's $333 from each of you. Dan, San Diego native. Let's start you off with a major key alert. When you're in San Diego, you gotta hit up Swami's you gotta focus that you're all over the yeah we did the loudest yeah I you know I I don't know her yeah yeah and you're going to frenetic yeah it's too and you also ask them how to pronounce his lap name. Yeah, never mind.
Starting point is 00:02:09 That was supposed to be the first sound just to announce Dane. Are you on drugs? Am I on drugs? Yeah. I'm off three cold brews, and that's only within the past 45 minutes. Right. That's good. Amir, you were saying? I didn't mean to cut you off.
Starting point is 00:02:20 It's just so much of it, so fast. You introduced Dane, and it was really loud. You asked him how to pronounce his last name mid-introduction, cut you off it's just so much of it so fast like you introduced dane and it was really loud you asked him how to pronounce his last name mid introduction which is like obviously gonna slow down everything but then you kept powering through yeah you haven't even said that danny and me are on the show at all and now you're like moving on to like san diego recommendations nobody knows anything no focus with this is always amir blumenfeld danny sellers on the sacks and uh i mean what else is there to say but head comes newest hire dane cardiel he's a he's a
Starting point is 00:02:50 all-star coming over from simple cast which is actually the rss feed that we use for this show in the show for this yeah this is the only show that i was able to successfully get over from one of our competitors at the time but uh i'll start off with a confessional just to be vulnerable with you so that we can connect i hated simplecast when i first started using oh no because i was coming from art 19 and at first i was like i don't know how to do the ad things it's very confusing two months in i was like this is 10 times better than art 19 art 19 sucks yeah relax well don't have to start burning bridges yeah that wasn't me saying that
Starting point is 00:03:30 yeah that was Danny saying that on the record has Danny been on this show before has he endured this yeah okay cool I've been down this road before it's a very steep windy road but I've been here before. I've been down this road before. It's a very steep, windy road, but I've been here before.
Starting point is 00:03:46 I'm surprised this podcast has some listenership. How did that happen? That's a good question. How did this? How are people listening? And why, really? You say traffic has gone up? The first two words of that question is good.
Starting point is 00:04:01 The rest of it kind of trails off. What I was going to ask is, how does cardiel do yeah how do i do how do you do okay so we're doing this thing where if i ask a question you just ask me a different question back and we kind of just forget that i ever said yeah that wasn't a transition you just changed his. He asked you why people listen to this show, how traffic has gone up, when it's clearly such a shit show, a mess, a loud nuisance. And you're saying that the numbers indicate
Starting point is 00:04:34 that more and more. Oh, wow. Wow is right. That's kind of rude, actually, considering how much time. Well, actually, just to give you, I guess, some perspective, I'll just... Coming in, I feel like everyone is kind of on you, Jeff.
Starting point is 00:04:49 And I'm kind of wondering why that is. I actually like you. I appreciate that. We are almost one and the same. I'm not going to change my opinion of you just because everyone is quite negative, I would say. But again, this is a i guess a comedy shop so maybe there's some tough love underneath the the surface there you haven't
Starting point is 00:05:13 yeah you haven't done this show yet so like jeff tread really lightly like dane hasn't turned against you because everybody yeah yeah is that LeBron? he doesn't say 100% he says like he'll basically talk about how there's some conversations that we need to have and things of that nature he says and things of that nature every other sentence yeah and things of that nature that's true
Starting point is 00:05:40 Dane we've caught lightning in a bottle here I don't really know what else to say this kind of one two punch at Shaq and Kobe with me and Danny I think Danny's probably Kobe I think I'm Shaq cause I'm like dependent I'm Rick Fox Robert Ori
Starting point is 00:05:59 Robert Ori is pretty good the hottest forward what'd you say? I said the hottest forward. I thought you said an honest forward, which I also would use to describe... That too. To describe Danny Sellers. Um, Dane, we should say...
Starting point is 00:06:15 Brooklyn, New York. Wait, yeah, you should say that, but that is a... that is an old address of mine. Did you look up my credit score illegally? I did a background check. Okay, interesting. I did a background check on Spokio.
Starting point is 00:06:32 On Spokio? You haven't got heart attack? I'm having heartburn because of the coffee. You didn't react at all to that. I thought you were going to be a little upset. We will bleep that out, but basically, this is the first time I docked someone without asking them for the address. So I searched your name on Spokio,
Starting point is 00:06:47 which I have a premium account on. Stop. And that was the one that came up. Burping. It's disgusting. Don't eat before the show. What about Olivia Burpee? So it's Gerky doing burpees.
Starting point is 00:07:03 What? What is Spokio? it's a good question what you did say spokio a lot without ever like stopping to mention the fact that it's like what a background check website spokio is basically a background check website i almost got my my ass kicked at that address actually um by who there was a there there was a thing that happened where a bunch of packages were getting stolen in the front um and then uh and then i guess like they got like a screenshot of the video of the person stealing the package and it was you no it wasn't me they uh and they were saying if you see this person, call the police.
Starting point is 00:07:48 And I'm like, I don't want the police to show up here for any reason. So I ripped it down. The dude got a video of me ripping it down and came to my door saying, why the fuck did you rip this down? And what'd you say? I said, I don't want the cops to show up here. Like, figure it out. Like, yeah. You know, request for a signature. And then he tried to beat the shit out of you?
Starting point is 00:08:12 Well, no. Then it was just like eye stares for like six months and really uncomfortable. Not the best. So that's why you moved? That's why I moved, yeah. And where are you at now? Well, we talked about Hudson Valley last week, so we can't.
Starting point is 00:08:24 Yeah, but don't tell him he'll say it and accidentally leak it nothing good can come of Jeff I guess that was actually another question of mine when it comes to like I guess this pretty decent listenership here what is it like to interact with
Starting point is 00:08:41 fans Jeff you have fans right no Amir has fans and then sometimes they can't get to him so they dm me i get dm sometimes too now it's kind of interesting it's like a danny has fan kevin bacon amir's the new kevin bacon i feel like yeah i get that a lot they used to call you amir bacon no they didn't just so you know on this show it's okay to break it's okay to like laugh yeah he clearly didn't think that was funny why would it be funny they used to call you a mere bacon is the joke you think he was stifling laughter for
Starting point is 00:09:22 on a friday, sun's out. Before a holiday weekend. Yeah. Summer Friday, 4.15 p.m. Let's talk about the 4th of July. Let's talk about Independence Day. Dan, Danny, any plans? Any plannies?
Starting point is 00:09:41 Nice. Try to watch some stand-up comedy, do some stand-up comedy, take naps, walk the dog. Simple, simple shit. I need to get a grill. I don't have a grill here in LA yet. I got a grill for free a couple weeks ago on Memorial Day.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Check Craigslist. There could be people trying to just get rid of old grills. Danny, do you have a backyard? Do they have backyards in LA? I have a little terrace. Terrace. trying to just get rid of old grills. Danny, do you have a backyard? Do they have backyards in LA? I have a little terrace. You know, terrace. Terrace. You know, concrete. Little situation.
Starting point is 00:10:10 I could fit a little something back there. Are you going to grill out? No, I don't have a grill yet. That's the whole point of this. No, if you get one tomorrow or Sunday. Oh, yeah. Then, yeah, 100%. I think it's a good catalyst.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Because we got it for Memorial Day, and we were like, we have to get it for this thing. And that was a good push to get it versus other times times to be like, yeah, I should get a grill. But then you probably won't for a couple of months. This is dope. I don't have any plans. I think I'm going to maybe do kayaking on my kayak. On the Hudson?
Starting point is 00:10:38 Somewhere. Yeah. And I, you know, I used to golf in high school. This is a really dumb to to like to do um it's very san diego it's fun right for me um and i met a friend golfing recently i have no friends up here um but uh yeah he wanted to go golfing on on monday so i might do that what's your uh what's your handicap i'm like plus 11 plus 10 i i do like this oculus mini golf game and i know the i know the verbiage you know birdie eagle albatross bogey double bogey the dreaded triple bogey
Starting point is 00:11:19 handicap is basically how many strokes above par average you shoot on average is that correct that's right so 11 is pretty good considering yeah yeah amongst 18 holes or now that's like half birdies or half pars half bogeys that'll give you a nine over yeah that's that's that's 18 oh yeah isn't that whatever my dog does not like that um what uh what are you doing Jeff for the weekend tomorrow my roommate
Starting point is 00:12:08 and I booked a cheap hotel room downtown just so we can use the rooftop pool and then on the 4th we're going to a friend's barbecue so you book a hotel then you get a hotel key but you don't use the hotel key
Starting point is 00:12:23 you just go to the pool and never go into the room are you using the room as like a changing room for 300 dollars move on dame that was the first thing i've never heard of that before how much is the room it was like a hundred something dollars and we have eight friends splitting it eight ways. So you grab eight people and you give them... They don't check to see... Because you're not getting eight keys, right? You're just swiping people up like it's a
Starting point is 00:12:53 fucking dining hall in college. This has become a cross-examination. Right? Am I on trials? How old are you, Jeff? Me? I'm 23. Really? Yeah. That's pretty good. did you think older or younger i thought at least 26 27 damn you're a rough 23 bro that's rough
Starting point is 00:13:13 the issue is i've been in the sun without sunscreen too many years so it's all starting to crack uh dan how was your first week at head gum is it week and a half or just week yeah about a week and a half it's been i mean that's danny i mean he he's kind of had to have me around for most of it danny i've liked it i'm just a mere uh vessel of help that's all i am i think we're all doing a great job we're all helping each other that's the goal right really yeah it's every man for his fucking self. Oh, that's a bad attitude. Well, we should tell the listeners that basically these two guys work in podcast acquisitions, which is basically poaching, being sharks, getting other shows from other networks, scheming in a way.
Starting point is 00:13:57 That's not true. And it's a commission-based pace. No, it's not. So if Danny gets 12 shows, that's 12 grand to his name I'm smoking a cigarette and having a big suit on in the penthouse of my apartment this is like Glen Gary Glen Ross
Starting point is 00:14:14 people deliver leads and then you sort of are angling because you're desperate for the sweet leads always be acquisitions Dan let's talk about it just got done cold calling 100 podcasts right before um yeah but what what's the the rosebud thorn of working at head gum so far thorn first to get the negative out of the way um
Starting point is 00:14:38 no negatives yet actually you know everyone's super nice super funny um maybe a little mean you know i think i would have cooled cooled it a little bit on being so mean to one particular person in the chat for sure in the slack yeah um but now i'm realizing why why that is so i feel like if all right if folks were a little strategic about that that would have been a little better you hear that jeff he's starting to turn. You hear that, Jeff? He's starting to turn on you. He begins 16 minutes in, and he starts to at least understand why people are mean to you.
Starting point is 00:15:11 That's sort of like step one. Well, now that you're 23, I feel like that's now just like a different, you know. 26, I was like, okay, like this guy, you know, he's got it together. No. Yeah. But then you hear that he splits hotel rooms with eight friends and then they swipe each other into a pool area right that's that's wild you're welcome to come
Starting point is 00:15:31 no thank you is it going to work like that's a good question is it going to work we won't but what if eight people is like maybe four it might be eight it might be ten because I invited my buddy Eli. That's like half the people up there all using the same key. We're all going to go in a group. It's going to be fine to bad. I'm also the youngest of my friends. Most of my friends are like 25, 28.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Yeah, what hotel? Freehand. You gestured at me. How old do you think I am? I think you're 29. 29, okay, cool. And how old are you? Wait, didn't you have a premium service that gives you my age?
Starting point is 00:16:06 Oh, you're 32. Ask Spokio. How do you remember it? Because I did it like 40 minutes ago. Oh my God. What a creep. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, if you had an extra hour in your day,
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Starting point is 00:19:32 Check it out. We have one more thing to get to and then we have a segment. Dan, number of sexual partners in your entire life? Don't ask that. Don't answer it. Next question. Next question. All right.
Starting point is 00:19:45 That actually should be on there. Don't answer it. Bonus points for saying their full legal names. Next question. Next question. All right. That actually should be on there. On Spokia. I actually ran into a high school ex of mine last night. Here we go. Dane Johnson. Do you guys know Dwayne Johnson? He's actually known as The Rock. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:00 So this is Dane The Rock Johnson. Dane, I'm going to give you, I'm going to text you privately in the chat some lines from Dwayne Johnson movies, and you're going to do your best to deliver them as you would. Does that sound good? Yeah, I mean, we'll see. It doesn't, but we'll do it anyway, I guess. So do your best, The Rock.
Starting point is 00:20:21 There's your cot. Don't jack off on my sheets. I'm so sorry, but that's not how that's not how the rock would ever do that there's no way the rock ever said that no he said that that was in baywatch are you just trying to get sort of out of context um is this just your like out of context uh grift no i mean that one was pretty blue to be sure but he said that in baywatch and that didn't sound like the rock so try it again this time try and sound like the rock duane the rock johnson we should say can you give me an example of the rock i i honestly don't don't oh yeah so basically he'll
Starting point is 00:20:56 often be like uh hey hey uh hey hey skip why don't you get on this ship? He's like sly. He's like deep voice like that. Kind of like masculine in a way. He's jacked to be sure. I guess I have to like think that I have like a big neck, right? Yeah, basically like this. That's good. With all due respect, Captain,
Starting point is 00:21:21 when this whole thing is over, we're going to find a location and i'm gonna knock your teeth so far down your throat you're gonna stick a toothbrush right up your ass to brush them so this is all from no that's from uh fast and furious like porn hub subtitles first one's about j-o and these are like just the first couple that i saw here we go this is wild i'll tell you what who you're not oh wait let me let me start over yeah i'm trying to find dwayne oh yeah yeah so well paid you gotta know the difference between what and who i'll tell you who we're not we're not people who shove staples into other people's heads that's cia crap nice
Starting point is 00:22:06 so that's get smart amir get smart you mean central intelligence no get smart with fucking michael scott what's his name steve carell carol yeah what is this these are all such forgettable movies that he's in he's such a big movie star but like I haven't seen any of these movies, nor do I remember any of them. How is he the Arnold of our generation? Go for it, Dan. Bustin' Weebles. Experience the heat. Bustin' Weebles.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Catch the magic. Bustin' Weebles. Catch who writes this. Do you mind if I give you a line read? Yeah, please. It's Boston Webbles, experience the heat. Boston Webbles, catch the magic. Boston Webbles, catch... Who writes this?
Starting point is 00:22:54 Because that was actually from The Game Plan with Madison Pettis. And he had like a... I've never even heard of any of these movies. The Game Plan? Get smart? What are these films that he's in? How did he become so successful?
Starting point is 00:23:08 How is he such a bankable movie star? I really don't know. I've not heard of these. Yeah. Have you guys seen these movies? No. None. Fast and Furious. That was Dwayne Johnson how did you think yeah nevermind
Starting point is 00:23:31 so disappointed this is where it should cut or right here sounds like jc penney's music yeah in the elevator ferris will cut this out but uh you guys promised me you were going to really bring the heat today. At the very beginning, I said, I need high energy. I need you guys on your A game.
Starting point is 00:24:13 Everyone agreed, and so far, Danny's the only one who's fucking delivered. The last game was just Dane reading movie lines that nobody's heard of. How much energy can one bring to that? What did you want us to do during that? Also, you spelled Boston four different ways in in that sentence i didn't write it welcome to daining excitement oh god have you guys ever feigned excitement yes so this is daining excitement so basically i'm gonna list something that dane hates and uh dane you're going to have to react as if you're really excited about it.
Starting point is 00:24:47 These are all fucking Dane acting challenges. What is going on here? Dane acting for short. Here we go. The last one was Dane reading The Rock lines. And now this is Dane feigning excitement. Like, what do you want me and Dane to do while Dane is taking this fucking twisted acting class from you? We could, uh...
Starting point is 00:25:08 I mean, you guys can feign excitement if you want. I'm trying to figure it out, because, like, what could you guys be doing? Do you guys have, like, tasks you need to get done? We could just talk about things that we hate to get to know each other, you know? I'm not going to feign
Starting point is 00:25:23 excitement over cops. I'm telling you that right now. Especially not J-O. Well, you haven other you know like that I'm not gonna faint excitement over cops I'm telling you that right now like I well you haven't heard the way that I phrased all this shit and if it doesn't work it doesn't work the Dodgers won the World Series that's it that silence was it I mean what hates the Dod dodgers so here we go that's really
Starting point is 00:25:48 hard for him to feign excitement all right now just picture you're in this headspace uh you're done eating at a restaurant but can't figure out if people want to stay longer or get the check and you have to be excited about that what excited about what are you kidding me that's not an exciting moment this is daily excitement we know so far the first one is like yeah really exciting and then the second one is like this weird moment where people don't know whether to stand or sit who would ever be excited about the worst part of eating does this show need producer? I feel like I know some folks that actually would be willing to help out.
Starting point is 00:26:28 Alright. This is the turning moment. I feel like it's like a self-inflicting wound, you know, Jeff, that maybe taking a step back, like why do people turn on me? It's like, well, we could have had a really fun moment on the show
Starting point is 00:26:43 where it was things that wasn't embarrassing me for sure yeah in the process you're putting dane in a position to fail i'm daining him you're what it's like shame and dane all right dan you wave to your neighbor and they don't wave back dane excitement oh yeah i mean thank god fuck that guy fuck that guy i'm excited about it uh yeah like how do you communicate excitement via via audio it's a bad premise but also the situations are also not good so it's like you're digging a really deep hole that's nearly impossible for dainty all right we should take some listener feedback how would they have crafted an episode to welcome a new member on a team that is
Starting point is 00:27:28 only still 16 people like all right what about this you fucked around and now you're gonna find out you can't see it because this is a podcast but I was excited yeah I was excited all right
Starting point is 00:27:44 congratulations Dean a podcast, but I was excited. Yeah, I was excited. All right. Congratulations, Dan. Congratulations. Fantastic. Ruining my favorite. When you, when you asked me for those things, I was like,
Starting point is 00:27:53 Oh, this is going to be fun. Yeah. And I can't believe how the opposite of fun that was. Yeah. You made us. Okay. Do you have a size 38?
Starting point is 00:28:16 Are you a size 38? No, 34. 34, 34. Oh, I thought you meant suit. What are you, 42 regular? Do you have this in the extra large or no you probably afford it too tall can you check out the back please welcome to cain and abel or Dane and Abel's. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:28:47 Jesus Christ. Come on, man. We got to turn this around. We got to turn this around. Absolutely read the room. Kind of religious. Are you guys familiar with morals? Like the muscle or the mushroom? Yes, of course the the mushroom yes of course the mushroom this is i was so excited about these and it's just not going the way i thought it would so now it's like to start this one which is
Starting point is 00:29:13 the worst of the three wow and that's saying a lot because the last one is deigning excitement that a neighbor didn't wave back to you. I'm trying to figure out, is this me or is this... The energy you're feeling is what the show is. And hearing that tension is joyful because those other people listening are on the outside.
Starting point is 00:29:40 And so it's like you're on the Titanic and you're just in the basement but you're on the side that's not flooding so you feel this fucking wave of euphoria nice nice that's a good metaphor yeah we're all dying jake does say that he hates being on the show but loves listening to it right that's correct have you got the log line yeah have you guys read cain and abel genesis it's uh it's in the bible in the first half of the bible yeah and the first third of the book of mormon this is something that i can do yeah so uh
Starting point is 00:30:18 my sister went to the yale divinity school the first testament of the bible is mythology it's not supposed to be taken literally c Cain and Abel weren't real people, even at the time of the book's writing. It was like a Greek myth. It was, what is the moral of the story? And the moral of the story, Amir, is what we're going to get into. But also,
Starting point is 00:30:37 Dane, I can't help but feel like you might be a little bit of an enabler, man. An enabler? Yeah, like maybe your buddy is addicted to for lack of a better term cancer sticks and you buy him american spirits yeah i could i could see myself doing that what's wrong with that it's it well it's enabling right it's it's uh so this is perfect actually we're gonna get in we just glossed over the sister going to yale too that was in there that was a salad levels of just like what is he talking about
Starting point is 00:31:22 that's a good cold open for the show is Danny yelling, what are you talking about? Which you can probably make a soundboard item and drop every 30 seconds of this show. Easily. Basically, I'm going to list off morals. And you tell me if it comes from the story of Cain and Abel or the story of Dane's life, which is that Dane and Abel's. Okay.
Starting point is 00:31:55 That was a great introduction. All right. Sorry. Anger is okay as long as it doesn't lead you to violence. We should say this is for actual cast. Who should answer this question? Should we let Danny? First person to answer.
Starting point is 00:32:11 Cain and Abel. Correct. That's $50 to the man in blue. Anger is good, and you should wield it to power your decisions. That's Dane and Abel. Correct. That's absolutely right.
Starting point is 00:32:24 That's $100 so far to Amir um it's also $50 owed to me for every wrong answer so yeah guess wisely worshipping God is serious business Cain enable correct that's absolutely right worshipping false idols
Starting point is 00:32:44 is ideal to have. Dane and Abel. That's absolutely right. Why is it Dane and Abel's? What did he do to enable that is what I'm wondering. I mean, I'm seeing a lot of objects found or otherwise in Dane's Zoom background. It's looking like there might be things that could be
Starting point is 00:33:07 satanic in nature. Oh my god! God or karma or the universe, whatever you want to call it, will dole out punishment, not man himself. Basically, you can't take matters
Starting point is 00:33:24 into your own hands. Yeah, Cain and Abe. I'm sorry that nobody else is guessing. Absolutely correct. Amir is cleaning house. This is actually starting to become a bit of a problem. $250. You don't have to Venmo me $250.
Starting point is 00:33:38 No, no, I'm a man of my word. Take matters into your own hands whenever possible and own a gun for sure. I mean, I feel bad that nobody else is chiming in. Dan enables. Yeah, exactly right. Yeah. There are consequences to sin. You're not even slowing down.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Why would I slow down? I asked for high energy. And again, Danny's the only one fucking bringing it. When I edit this shit, right? There's pauses that can be chalked up to the Zoom delay. And then if someone's really on their A game, it's overlapping dialogue. I don't even have to make L cuts, Dane. So when Danny cuts me off and says, what the fuck are you talking about?
Starting point is 00:34:25 That's good comedy. And he knows timing. Amir, you've been at this game for what? 20 fucking years? And look at you, man. See? What was that pause? You're supposed to come back with a quip.
Starting point is 00:34:37 Dane, I'm so sorry you have to see me like this. You're not. You fucking get off to this shit. Hedonism should be everyone's North Star. Dane enabling. Correct. Danny's going over $50. Tail end of the game. That's what I call a buzzer beater.
Starting point is 00:35:08 What is that? Where is that sound bite from? I think it's a royalty free like CD of game show music. It seems like a VH1 reality TV show. I used to watch VH1 and MTV for the music videos. Like they had that one show where it was debuting new artists music. I think it was TRL. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 00:35:33 But like, like YouTube rewatch or total request live. But it was like, like I remember when Taylor Swift's first music video came out on that and I just watched it live. I was like, Oh, she's pretty good. And I remember a little,'s first music video came out on that, and I just watched it live. I was like, oh, she's pretty good. And I remember a little less 16 Candles, a little more Touch Me by Fall Out Boy.
Starting point is 00:35:51 That one scared the shit out of me. Oh, okay. Danny, what's your Venmo? You don't have to, because now we have to Venmo you back. It's just this weird thing. Stop sending us cash. Is it Danny Sellers 3? Yeah, that's the one. it's the one with the white guy
Starting point is 00:36:07 he is white it just loaded is it is it Wes OK Gnarly 1? yep no it isn't you just want me to send $50 to somebody who won't send it back this is the risk you have to take to make content
Starting point is 00:36:24 what a journey it's been and i don't mean this podcast i mean your 32 years have led you to this point and how do you feel i you know i i like amir i like danny this has been nice to see that them here you know i like I would like to come back. Please let me come back. But I think, you know, I was actually thinking, because I listen, you know, I am a subscriber, a follower now of the podcast. I feel like if Marika was here,
Starting point is 00:36:55 that was your biggest mistake, not having Marika on the show today. She said that she was available. Yeah, that was kind of awkward, too. It was like, okay, Jeff, really? Well, i don't want to have her wow jesus see it's a cycle of negativity you know just like you can't stop it you know we need to jump out of the stream brené brown says that setting boundaries is the most loving thing you can do and what's that who said that Brene Brown are you seriously not a brown head what a brown that's what my uh childhood bully called me actually that's super yeah that's hilarious actually
Starting point is 00:37:36 they might be listening to this and I hope they are actually somebody dm'd me a really aggressive paragraph about how they needed to know my ethnicity and I didn't respond and then 12 hours later they said wow motherfuckers get 13,000 followers on Instagram and think they're too famous to respond to a DM you asked me a kind of offensive question say whatever the rock is
Starting point is 00:37:58 yeah that's cool Polynesian yeah yeah yeah what do you do at head gum jeff that's actually a great question yeah it's funny because i've been meeting a lot of new people uh now that everyone's kind of vaccinated and everything uh and people ask me what i do and
Starting point is 00:38:23 i said i just say i work in podcast and what context do you meet people i feel like you're you're are you trying to like kind of give like some you're dating no no no no okay i'm single like a dating okay no like parties and i went bowling i beat my friend my roommate by one in bowling on the last frame danny it was a seller's did you beat him or did he just not catch up to you no he was up by 16 before the last frame, Danny. It was a seller's move. Did you beat him or did he just not catch up to you? No, he was up by 16 before my last frame and so I needed to get 17 or better. I got a spare the first roll and then
Starting point is 00:38:53 all I needed was a 7 and I got it. It was 106 to 105. It was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me because I'm not athletically inclined. So I really have not stopped thinking about that. But yeah, like settings like that, bowling, some new people showed up,
Starting point is 00:39:09 meeting them, they asked me what I do. I say I work in podcasting and they say, what do you do in podcasting? And depending on whether I like them and feel like we could actually have a conversation or not, I'll either tell them or not. But when I tell them, I say that I'm technically a producer,
Starting point is 00:39:21 but I only produce the shows that I host. So it's a weird setup. Yeah. And that's all you say? You shouldn't represent our brand in public anymore than you already have. So if somebody sees you out and about, I need you to never mention HeadGum lest they associate that name and likeness with, well, you. Tim Kalpakis had a really funny tweet.
Starting point is 00:40:01 It said, he said, it's so hot that I put an ice cube in my well ass um i can see that on the out of context head gum podcast twitter account already yeah and if you don't follow it that's my that's my plug for today follow what is it ootc just search out of out of context head gum podcast who does that is that something we do it's a fan I don't know who does it they pick really good quotes
Starting point is 00:40:29 I thought for sure it was Jeff just behind the scenes just kind of I mean it might be yeah everybody thinks I'm a fucking loser
Starting point is 00:40:36 like when people do anything they're like oh Jeff's probably behind that I'm like no I'm not that sad I believe that that was right everybody
Starting point is 00:40:45 does think you're a fucking loser not because of the twitter stuff i don't believe this is tragic holy shit fair to say is that fairest to say so jeff what are you doing for rock history that's history for people who are that color who are the rock plugs i already gave mine it's the out of context head gum pod on twitter danny follow sellers instagram twitter if you want to book me on a show in la please dm me i would love to do it comedy hell yeah dane the prodigal son. What do you have going on? Point to people to the floor is yours. Um,
Starting point is 00:41:30 I will. I was going to plug ice, but then he didn't, then he didn't say plug. So it kind of like ruined my joke. Um, but, uh, yeah,
Starting point is 00:41:38 I guess Twitter is where I'm at. Uh, Dane cardio. I guess I also plug that I'm going to be in LA pretty soon. You'll see the office. You'll see everybody here. When are you coming? July 12th through the 17th. Oh shit.
Starting point is 00:41:56 It's going to be a good time. Is it a work trip or are you just here for something else? No, work trip. Sweet. Jake will be here too, I think. Huge of truth. We should plan something. Huge of truth. The studio's almost done. We should plan something. Maybe a dinner.
Starting point is 00:42:08 That'd be cool. Absolutely. With all f***ing thousand of your friends, Jeff. F***ing three thousand. Racially ambiguous. Jeff and a bunch of like curly-haired white chicks
Starting point is 00:42:20 just hanging. And you can follow me on Instagram at Jeffrey James on Twitter at Jeff YRD check out some of head gums new shows check out keeping records check out fucking the cast I love drag her that would have been a great question to ask me what head gum shows do you like as a new employee that would be like how
Starting point is 00:42:43 nice would it be if Jeff was like what head gum shows do you like and a new employee? That would be like, how nice would it be if Jeff was like, what head gum shows do you like? And then Dane had like a nice list of. Oh my God. It just ended. Couldn't take the pressure of being critiqued at all. Even constructively. I don't know if we're going to cut to Zach.
Starting point is 00:43:06 I'm still recording locally but the Zoom basically Jeff quit the Zoom that was a Hidgum Original.

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