The Headgum Podcast - 63: 2nd Annual State of the Gum

Episode Date: August 13, 2021

Jake, Johnny, and Marika join Geoff for the first ever IN PERSON episode of The Headgum Podcast to discuss Geoff's trip to New York, temporal subjectivity, and the state of the network!BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. High school Jeff liked jazz and New Orleans culture. I used to make beignets and po'boys. Café Du Monde. Our kitchen was Café Du Monde that year. Just powdered sugar everywhere. I had a red velvet smoking jacket

that I got from a costume store and I would go out into the garage by myself, play Louis Armstrong music and smoke pipe tobacco and say to myself in my own head, this is the life. I'm sorry to hear that. That explains so much. I have this watch.

This watch is from Etsy. Does it work? Yeah. You just need to replace the battery. It's an Andy War this watch. It's from Etsy. Does it work? Yeah. You just need to replace the battery. It's an Andy Warhol watch. Oh, nice. Yeah. That's cool.

That was from the period when he was kind of selling out. Yeah. And just doing everything. Yeah. All right. Here we go. He's so mean to Johnny. I don't like that.

We're all hanging out. We're having fun. Just fucking cut johnny down trying to relate to you i also shop on etsy first head gum podcast episode in person we got marika brownlee on the sax jay kerwitz on the fax what's he gonna say work in business no copier johnny what's that i said no copier fax no copier it It's a meme. Ferris, cut this out. Let's start over. We have to listen to the song again? It's so horrible because I have to sit here and I feel your eyes on me versus before I can just like swipe away from the zoom. I imagine you did that a lot.

It's like whenever you're really bothering everybody, you minimize the screen. First HeadGum Podcast episode live in person. We've got Marika Brownlee on the sax, Jake Hurwitz on the fax, Johnny Villa's... He has hand-in. Look at that peep-bong. Live energy.

It's live energy. And Johnny Villa on the tracks. Johnny, last week on this show, which I think is the worst episode of this show ever Hoping that this will be the best episode ever It's a very special episode not only because we're in person But because of what we have prepared

You've released two songs Yeah I did on my Instagram They're not on Spotify because they're not long enough They're only a minute long For sure At Johnny V I've been growing in follower counts they're only a minute long for sure for sure at johnny v yeah at j-o-h-n-n-y-v-i-i i've been growing in follower counts and as a straight man this is a huge

you're a pioneer you're a trailblazer in a certain way um we're in new york we're in brooklyn yeah new york did you want to say the address? I imagine you'd... New York, New York or Brooklyn, New York? Brooklyn, New York. Yeah, I mean, either way, your Google Maps will find you. We'll find you here. Brooklyn's not its own city, though. It's just New York. Yes.

Yeah, New York City. You said you wanted to keep the live energy. Yeah, no, Brooklyn's the county. Yeah. It's Kings County. Oh, Kings County. So Brooklyn's the borough.. Yeah. It's Kings County. Oh, Kings County. So Brooklyn's the borough. We don't have boroughs in Los Angeles.

Are you familiar? Yeah. With Los Angeles, for sure. For sure. I mean, when I write my address, I put like the area of Queens I live in,

comma, New York. Yeah. So, I guess it is a city, right? Yeah. Let's hear your address.

Yeah, no. All all right going well so far johnny yeah restarted the show because of a joke i made all right all right all right i do have a lot prepared we what i can't see is the time code is something that i just realized so i don't know where we're at if you could just kind of hit me with five minute update you can't see no well this is horseshit right we need a Mike Comate in the studio on the day. That'd be nice. Let me know when we get to five minutes. Cause five minutes is when we start waxing.

I see. I see. What are we doing now? Right now this is intros. I mean, normally when people like are in the studio themselves, they set a timer. Is that true? Yeah. Well, we can still do it.

Like now, like basically when it gets to four minutes yeah it's been like let's say it's been four minutes so far let's uh you know what i'm gonna do you feel like it's been 25 minutes let's really let's start off with a major key alert johnny hit us with one all right major key alert yeah if you uh microwave a metal spoon for 10 minutes uh sparks will fly they'll fly earlier than like the 10 minute mark they i think they fly right away right i think it's like probably around like the 30 second mark but if you go for a little bit longer uh sorry it's a lot longer 10 minutes versus the 30 seconds go ahead i guess like it's your major time is subjective yeah okay but time is subjective yeah it's a construct created by our feeble human minds.

No, and I agree with you that the passage of time can be subjective. Because it's like, time flies when you're having fun. You know, when you get older, your perception of time quickens over time. But, you know, I just had to start a timer because to a certain extent, time is not subjective. This is going to be a 45 minute. I understand where you're going at. And I realize how stupid I sound. Finally.

Jeff, can you put your mic closer to your mouth? Nobody's ever spoken to me like that before. Nobody ever will speak to me like that again. Because from now on, I'll have amazing mic control. You're speaking over it. Am I actually? This is... Oh my gosh.

Almost toppled an end table. rails are coming off yeah um welcome to another edition of thunderdome and now we wax now we wax okay everyone speak freely this is your 14 minutes to do so i feel like johnny's major keeler was kind of waxish because he was waxing it was wax adjacent yeah yeah you did you get to your point uh not necessarily but i did want people to microwave spoons okay and we cannot endorse that as a network because that is a fire hazard that could end in what would be traced back to this podcast as a false insurance claim. Yeah. Okay. This is what this company is all about. Because we were talking about this earlier, Jake, that this is kind of a company podcast.

As opposed to what else? We also weren't talking about that. I made an offhand remark. I feel like that's a misrepresentation of whatever conversation we were having. Which our conversation was around if you should be included in the company's slack. All right, all right. Let's all tread lightly because I don't want to single you out. But for sure you.

And then we'll also kind of all do the same. This being a company podcast, it's like this. HeadGum's been around for what? Six years? Yeah. Coming up on. Are we coming up on six? Yeah.

We've passed it. Six is tomorrow, right? Jesus. Or August 1st. I think our Twitter account started in July, so if we're going off of that, we were six years old. Interesting. I guess I was going to go more by the

inception, like when we became an LLC. Then it might be even earlier. August 1st. Yeah, I think August 1st is when we announced everything. We launched August 1st. So happy six-year anniversary, HeadGum. Thank you. This is what it's all led up to. What's up?

Yeah, I'm just happy for this company. Johnny, you've been here a year. Yes. It's felt like a decade. I wouldn't say so. Time flies when you're having fun. And fun I'm having. That's going to be on the Twitter account.

I feel like you just go for those tweets. The quote tweets. This is not, none of this is a bit. Like, this is how I normally talk. I'm very hard to get along with. We should say that

the Delta Plus variant is surging. Any one of us could be shedding virus currently and none of us are wearing masks. Is that fair to say? Yeah.

Well, my wife has tested very regularly. So I feel like if I had it, it would happen i and you don't even mean for the virus you mean like chlamydia she's sleeping around i'm sorry to hear that yeah have you heard from her um no but i have um i was able to guess the password of her uh tinder account so i kind of can see what she's up to but she's moved a lot of those conversations to text because they're going well um but i have a general sense because then i follow those guys she matched with on instagram

yeah um so yeah that's pretty easy and they're grid posting photos together which means that they're all being serious at the very least story um but i do a lot of like follow for follow like for like with those guys so i can see what she's been it's a full time job yeah totally yeah and what do you do when she's out gallivanting like do you distract yourself or

yeah watch their stories that's not distracting that's diving into it that's doing scrolling yeah right Marika how's your love life non-existent

well we gotta get you on Orion no wow wow if anybody listening to this wants to bed and or wed Marika Brownlee oh my god Jesus Christ

and I'll facilitate I'll block Jeff I am not only a matchmaker but I'm also a soothsayer. And I can see that this is going to end well. I was like borderline uncomfortable when you were telling Marika that she needed to get on the dating app. I was like, oh yeah, this is weird. Like coworkers talking about each other's dating, love lives. And then the applause came.

I was like, cool. He's changing the subject. He obviously felt a little uncomfortable he's gonna move on yeah but no then you made a plug it was a plug it was it was i'm not gonna sit here and say that i want credit for anything that happens in marika's love life going forward whether it has to do with the podcast or not but like yeah that'd be nice a nod would be good for me what's that no like you want marika to say she want her to acknowledge if she like meets somebody because of the podcast no no i'm saying that love is a momentum thing right so right yeah love is a momentum sometimes you just have to agree with the first thing because it's it's not even like relevant to the rest of the love is a momentum thing so even if nobody reaches

out from this podcast into your ideas yeah well let me finish i still get to oh sorry george texted me oh my god don't answer it jeff said put your phones away before we started at least i was distracting him from you know a pretty fucked up stance that he was about to make it doesn't matter whether it's from this podcast or not i get credit for anything that good forget your love life anything that happens in your life that's good to you to have what do you mean by credit like i crit i have to say that you caused something good in my life we do have to move on i'm perfect that's quite all right um johnny you just moved to new york i guess you probably shouldn't say that how has it been do you go to ludlow house the soho No, I'm not invited to the Soho House

because I'm not important enough. I feel like it's a thing of if you have the cash, they don't really care who's... Yeah, you're implying that I also have the cash or kind of just influence in general. You either need cash or clout. Johnny hasn't either. Yeah.

I think that's obvious. I think we can all agree. I do think that Pretty Whack Industries is going to put you on the map. I think so too. And I'm very confident that I'm going to make it big. Breakthrough, yeah. First ethical billionaire sitting here.

How would you become an ethical billionaire? I guess I would steal from the rich. How? Yeah, but they're all gallivanting in space. Who's guarding bezos's millions and billions actually his very high powered and paid accountants really yeah this is all news to Ow. You guys never bring anything to the table. How so? You're all staring.

This is, again, this is such a new experience for me because usually I'm staring at the four quadrants and there's a degree of separation, but instead I'm feeling six eyes on me. The walls are closing in. It's like the fucking... We are surrounding you. It's the trash shoot scene in Star Wars

is how this feels like to me HeadGum East has a narrow studio as well which is good for audio I can touch Jeff's toes with my toes that's how close we are I'm sorry but this is why we need HR for what Marika did

yes earlier in Slack you said Marty grabbed your wrist and wanted to nair your legs and that's the thing that happened when i got a tattoo on my thigh yeah sorry i was just making a face i made that face because that indicated to me that it was recently it was recently so yeah uh and i shaved a patch for her to work within uh the patch was too large of course and uh she also was like the tattoo artist was like oh i would have done that and i was like i didn't know that you would have shaved my legs that's really funny but now when i wear shorts which mostly in la because it's like high 90s these days uh it just reveals this patch of shaven leg and then the rest is hairy and so uh marty was saying

that i should nair my legs because he likes to do that he likes to nair his legs yes he said that he has before oh for like running that's what he said oh you'll be faster in the pool i'm like i haven't swam since i was 17 and then he kind of of said, mmm, 17. Oh, God. That's not true. No, that's not true. But he cut that out. No, but he was like, you should narrow your legs. And I was like, why would I just shave them? The whole point is to just even it out, which I still might do this, so that it doesn't look like I have

a patch. But then my legs are like... You really... You'd rather have a patch than half-grown hair in your leg for the full leg. You don't want to stumble. Forget the full leg. And for the summer. Forget the full leg. Yeah. But I didn't really know what he was aiming at.

What are you aiming at? We're about 17 minutes in. So we have three more minutes to fill and that's up to you guys. Let's see if you guys can get the word of the week in the next three minutes. The and your was. It's always something really dumb. Since. Hat.

It's not hat. When. When would be good but not when. Who? Business. Business. who business twine goose egg nest

let's do bird things wing beak let's do bird tail feather what if it was let's you got it no there's this one. I actually have a. It's a New York based. Liberty, Apple.

It's not a New York thing, but it is a part of the office. Part of the office. Wood, studio, microphone. No. Desk. What's that? Desk. Brick.

Hello. No. Tile. I guess I'll do warmer and colder. Tile is colder. Choose one of the things we said that was warmer. Desk, I guess. Or no.

No, brick is probably the warmest. Okay, so it's a building material. No, it's not. Okay. So it's not. Is it red? It can be. So you actually think of the word of the week so you don't just know i've never historically done it but everything about this episode is new uh including my mojo because it's back baby

i feel that yeah um red brick has to do with the building in theory can be okay um address no street um no sidewalk no you're you're kind of circling it is it outside yes hydrant what's that hydrant no uh garage garage no car car curb no curb no gravel no asphalt colder colder things like garage and is circling it parking apartment condo garage apartment building i have no idea what you're gesturing a house would it might have one of these bathroom so we're back inside no toilet it's outside and the house might have it your new house has it. Your new house has it. Door. Garbage. No, but that'd be good. Not garbage. Stair. Driveway?

Step. No. Fence. There might be a step up to one of these things. Doorbell. No. Knob. Nope. Step up to one of these things. It's got mailbox. Threshold. No. It's outside. It's outside. Your house has one one of these the office has one of these

patio let's go shit word of the week thousand bucks goes to me all right damn oh i wanted to bring a checkbook for this god damn it all right johnny Alright, Johnny. I deserve this. You do. What are you going to do with it to make your ethical billions? Oh, okay. I already forgot what your thing was. What was it? Johnny Viro or something?

No, it's... It's funny because I listened to last week's and I didn't know it because it was bleeped. It's nice to be on the inside. Oh, baby. This is so fucked. Yeah, this one wasn't even we didn't stumble on the word. Like it was a guessing. There's no way we could have said it in like normal conversation.

But we were always going to get there once we started guessing and you gave us warmer or colder. You knew that this was trending towards you giving Johnny a a thousand dollars venmo won't let you do it i did stand up for the first time about a week ago went well but my opening joke was uh i'm gonna bleep it because i i don't if people come to him yeah but it was that was your opening joke you have no you walked on stage with like there's no trust built with the audience and you immediately just try we have we have to move on actually yeah wow welcome to the annual state of the gum address perfect you remember this yeah I kind of remember state of the gum we gotta talk about it

year six as we talked about Marika let's get off the phones I was gonna say it's tough to be IRL on this podcast because usually I have like three other I've got tabs open. And the computer just turned off behind you. So I couldn't use that as like a distraction.

All right. State of the game address. I have a couple of questions specifically for Jake because he's co-founder. Is that your title? Do you have anything else? No, just co-founder. Not like CCO? No.

Okay. You should promote yourself. And I don't just mean at the company. I mean like you got to be your own advocate. That's cool. Yeah. No, I wouldn't want any other job. Yeah.

Johnny created his own fucking company. What have you done? I mean, I also created my own company. That is true. That is true. All right. How has the company grown? And this can be a forum. If you just want it to be a one-on-one interview, we'll see how it shapes up.

But how has the company grown since last August when we did this? Let's make it a forum. I'll go last. Wow. Yeah. Johnny. You're putting it on the person with the least amount of tenure. In a way.

But you've been here about a year, right? Yeah. Did you start last August? So how has the company grown since you've been here? What's changed? A lot of fresh new faces sure uh a lot of new business is being closed we've grown in revenue for sure yeah i'm just talking from a sales side y'all great fuck yeah uh so oh we've also grown in terms of just like a podcast roster at gumball which if any brands are listening they should advertise with us through gumball.fm that's right yeah chic hydro is listening as a company to this episode they

better be yeah other than that i've grown as a person and i think in doing so i've helped head gum holy shit i agree with everything that you said except for that last part. You regressed as a person. We didn't know you before, but we feel it strongly. Well, we should say that we're aiming for revenue. Last year, we got what? You shouldn't be in these meetings. By July of this year, as far as I'm sure, we've already gotten what? So that's Johnny, your sales guy.

That's unbelievable. That sounds pretty accurate. I think that actually is accurate. For how checked out you seem a lot of the time. Surprising when you have that kind of recall and the in-depth knowledge of our strategic goals and how much cash we have booked in Q3. Marika, how has the company grown since last august you can be brutally honest at this point wow john did the kind of butter you up part sorry actually mike just fucking slacked me yeah no i'll wait yeah we'll wait because you know what if you're gonna wait then i'm not gonna read it right exactly because it's weird to ask a

question and then we're through onward Power through, onward, upward. No, I definitely agree a lot with what Johnny said. Definitely. I would say since the beginning of 2020, we are more than doubled staff-wise, which is pretty fun. Yeah. Shout out to... Bleep that traitor's name.

Yeah. No no I think it's been fun getting like back into the office and meeting everyone meeting Johnny for the first time yeah

and have I grown as like a person since we first met oh for sure not talked about it exactly same

this is Johnny outside Marika's apartment at 3 a.m also don't say and have and then ask the same question we just kind of all collectively waxed about um and how has the company grown since last august sales wise yeah what johnny said we were growing in revenue which is fun to see. We brought on a bunch of new shows on the network side, which is great. Yeah. Just those things. Micah.

You little asshole. You looked at me and I knew you had something too did that occur to you just before you said it it was like when you looked at me and then your eyes lit up and then I immediately laughed that is that human shit

yeah I loved it that was good this is what we've been missing during SARS-CoV-2 Immediately laughed. That is that human shit. Yeah, I loved it. That was good. This is what we've been missing during SARS-CoV-2. CoV? CoV, that's a nice one. Sounds like a startup. Anyway, how has the company grown since last August? You can make this quick.

I mean, I agree with what everybody said. I think that hiring all these people has been great. It's exciting as it is. You don't really feel it when you hire so many people remote. So for me, going to LA last week was super exciting. I hadn't met half of our team. And then meeting Johnny, seeing Marika again, working in person. That helps me feel the growth of the company oh yeah 100 and that actually leads us into our next question let's start with you jake speak to the

reasoning behind the new hire specifically johnny villa um yeah how did johnny did you get your start as like an intern right yeah i did um johnny was started as an intern and you just asked for more work when you were killing it at your intern tasks. You became a sales planner. Is that right? And then- Account manager. Account manager. And then you started like selling your own ads.

You've just like continually done more and more. Climb the ladder the right way, your own way. Wow, thank you. The Johnny way. And then Marika, speak to the reasoning behind new hires, specifically Johnny Villa. I love this segment. I wasn't expecting this. We knew that we needed to grow revenue for HeadGum, which is the goal of the company in general, obviously.

And so by doing that we also needed to hire more people johnny was doing a great job so we brought him on to help more in a sales role all right all right that's actually more than enough we have to move on financially what sort of realm are we circling? I know we talked numbers already, but like almost on a spiritual sense, how big do we want to be? Yeah, you know, growth is a, it's a exciting but dangerous thing. Because, you know, before we didn't make as much money, but we only had three or four people working here. Now we have more.

So you got to make more. So more people working harder to make more so more people working harder make more money hire more people but then you need to make more money to keep on sustaining yeah where does it end bezos sure you know is it world domination when's enough where is where's the line space i knew that yeah um and i just i got super baked on a frontier flight so i got yeah we saw the spacey enough yeah they tried to get me to put a mask on but i was like in the middle yeah which was frustrating because like i you should you know you're allowed to take your mask off to sip water did you have a drink i was drinking it insanely slowly was my logic so i am still drinking but most of the time

i'm not but i'm always about to but you at least got the negative pcr test i didn't i end up having a negative test so you didn't get tested that's not entirely all right this is too incriminating what can't we improve upon wow what can't we improve upon? Wow. What can't we improve upon? Let's start with Johnny. Okay. I don't know why I'm put on the spot right now. You're Johnny in the spot. Okay.

In terms of things that we cannot improve upon, I think the general comic sensibility is of everybody. I think everybody's really funny and fun to be around and very personable that's something we can't improve on because we're already at the top quite frankly you think adam sax is shooting the shit with his underlings i don't think so no fucking way no no fucking way yeah yeah i that the office culture, like when you got here this morning and me and Johnny were like tripping on mushrooms. Yeah. You told me you were microdosing.

Yeah, microdosing. But like that was kind of a macro. We were in a macro moment. How many grams did you do? I was just eating like caps by the handful. Like they were fucking M&Ms. They wouldn't give any to me. Well, because you were,

she was like kind of peaking cause you were doing that Molly thing. Mariko was candy flipping. That Molly thing. Mariko was candy flipping is what I was saying. So you did acid and Molly. Yeah. That's so much. It's Wednesday.

Well, this was, this was early Tuesday. Early, like late in night. No, like this was like post-graphy. Yeah.

It's 11, Tuesday a.m. My God. Yeah, we have to move on again. New York turns up. And that's one thing we can't improve upon. You've all been implicated in some kind of crime, either white collar or not. How has the HeadGum podcast tripled business? I don't think it has really yeah tripled business i mean i think that's a lot of that's a lot to put on it okay it wasn't a fair

premise of a question for you this podcast is great it's grown it's doing really well but then to to ask how it's tripled business you were destined to fail and to feel shame but we got to get a branded content month on this show what do you mean thirty thousand dollars what i mean why can't we work with uh with a marlboro with an american spirit with with a with a jewel i don't i i don't think it's legal for all to do that. Let's work with an amoxicillin distributor. Let's work with a Tylenol. It doesn't have to be a drug. Actually, I think we have the perfect thing

for this. It's Haagen-Dazs. That's Dazs. Yeah, that would be huge actually. I'm going to call Haagen. Uta Haagen to ask about how I can do a better act. They wouldn't give us money because we already give them so much free advertising. We really have.

All right. To a certain extent, we don't need Angie, right? Hard disagree. Really? Okay. We could do without Shackle. Hard disagree. Yeah, she's great.

Then let's ditch Amir. That's squared. Let's get rid of both's great. Then let's ditch Amir. That's squared. Let's get rid of both of them. I'd be okay with that. Trimming the fat. Cohen's solid. Blumenfeld. Let's get him out of here. Yeah. The thing is we would need to keep

Cohen around to fire Amir. You know what we should do? Yeah. Hire ***. The intern that worked with us a year and a half ago more than that two years ago three wasn't she like

your year no it was like two years after me we don't have to how far away do you think we are from being a tri-coastal operation what's the third coast

well I mean that's what I want to talk about the other side of the Atlantic it's going to be London it could be London it could be Portsmouth if nothing else or Port it's going to be london yeah it would be portsmouth if nothing else or porto porto is not bad you know what it could be gulf coast let's go tallahassee interesting i hate that it's bad right now yeah really you could do like a chicago you know a

lake michigan coast that's almost too obvious too obvious your old management company my current management company has offices and air quotes in chicago but it's just the I.O. theater. Yeah, that's not. That's nothing. Doesn't count, no. What about? I hate the smile. Yeah.

New South Wales. New South Wales. On go. Yeah. We wouldn't need even an office. We would just need to be working from home. Wait, that's Australia. Yeah.

New South Wales. I mean, yeah, 100%. Okay. We'll figure it out. We don't need to decide right now, but Johnny, what would you, do you want to throw in? I was thinking somewhere like a Spain. Spain would be nice. Yeah.

Okay. We'll figure it out. Monaco. Rock of Gibraltar. I don't hate Gibraltar. Headgum LA, Headgum Brooklyn, and Headgum Gibraltar. That's awesome. Headg right do we do any work with maersk who because like we wouldn't need to ship anything right the shipping company the shipping containers there's no way there's no way we need to ship anything no i mean none of that the suez thing didn't affect us at all no okay you

know there's an outside chance that it would have affected some of our direct response uh brands that we work with you know you could imagine like a helix mattress company that's making mattresses abroad shipping them overseas and then like running ads on our shows they say you actually we have to pause these ads because we can't move any mattresses right now. They're stuck in the Suez. This is such bullshit. There's in no way, shape or form

does the Suez get out being blocked for a month affect this show. It could. It could. Do we do any work with Awkwafina? And let's go the brand yes or no and the celebrity yes or no. No to both, really.

Shouldn't be surprised. And we don't do any work with AMC. AMC. I think we technically did an ad for Nora from Queens. So Awkwafina. So both AMC and AwC. We do. I think we technically did an ad for Nora from Queens. Holy shit. So Awkwafina. Yeah.

So both AMC and Awkwafina. Because that movie was in. That's a TV show. That's a television show. Comedy Central. Really? Oh, shout out Katie Moose. We need to get her on the show again.

How can art play a role in the changing political landscape of a generation? Art play a role in the changing political landscape? I didn art player always plays a role changing i didn't say does it i know it does i'm saying how can it how can it not that's what i'm saying because it always does wow um do you do you want to know or did you just want i'm not begging you guys for explanations i wanted to wax about it oh i see as it relates to the state of the network okay okay i think politics have changed since 2015 drastically no i think we actually we did a we did a like a rock the vote or a register to vote thing um all of our shows did on head gum that true. And a lot of our artists also just on their own endorsed candidates and endorsed a candidate and encouraged people to vote, which was good.

Well, candidates, because I was a big Jorgensen guy. You were. Aesthetic over function feels like an accurate description of the HeadGum Brooklyn office. Is that fair to say? No. No. No. No. You spent a lot of time trying to find the couch

you were sitting on for its function. Oh, my God, yeah. That's the shallowest couch they make. Yeah, yeah. But it's still pretty comfortable. Frank? No, it's from, it's from, oh, fuck. I don't remember.

Oh, no. I know it, I know it, I know it, I know it. It starts with Frank. I think it's from, it's from, oh, fuck. I don't remember. Oh, no. I know it. I know it. I know it. I know it. It starts with Frank. I think it's Frank. It's not.

This. Oh, my God. We can move on. No, we can't move on. No, we actually can't. We're here now. Francis and son. France and son.

Is that even true? France and son. Yes, it's true. Yes, it's true. And now we can move on. I think it's time to work a little harder. Is that fair to say? Absolutely not. Yes, it's true. Yes, it's true. And now we can move on. Mike Comete could stand to work a little harder. Is that fair to say? Absolutely not.

It's so hard. Oh, God. All right. HeadGum should switch to a healthcare plan that covers elective and invasive cosmetic surgeries. That one's not really a question. I'm just saying we should. Yeah, that's fine. I would get elective surgery for sure.

Yeah. And you're not really who I'm worried about. Who are you worried about? Do you think I would abuse the policy? You don't think I would abuse the policy? No, I just don't think you're the reason why we need it. You know what I mean?

Like you want to walk in the office and see people who are dimes. Yeah. And that means, I mean that as a, I'm speaking from a podcaster standpoint and also like as a, you know,

a freelance employee standpoint. Yeah. I don't want to have to look at Marty's ass the way it is now. Let's get him a BBL. He should be nared. He should be fully nared. He should be fully nared. And then also, I'm wondering if he gets some kind of collagen

lip injections on the day. So that he can have those full lips. He does have notoriously thin lips. This has been The State of the gum address with Johnny Villa, Jake Hurwitz Rinker Brownlee on the sax

you won't look at us we do have to take a quick break We do have to take a quick break. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. You know, if you had an extra hour in your day, a lot of people would spend that very differently than the one sitting next to them. Maybe person A would go for a run, person B would take a nap, and patient zero would read a book.

The point is, a lot of us spend our time and our lives wishing we had more hours in the day. And the question is, what is that time for? And if time was unlimited, how would you use it? The best way to squeeze that special thing into your schedule is to know what's important to you and make it a priority thus. Therapy can help you find what matters to you so you can do more of it. I'm in therapy every week and I benefit from it personally as I pursue to better myself and be a better version of myself today than I was yesterday. Yesterday, you said tomorrow, so just therapy. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try.

It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Learn to make time for what makes you happy with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash whatsthat today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's betterhelp, H-E- Visit betterhelp.com slash whatsthat today to get 10% off your first month. Again, that's betterhelp, H-E-L-P.com slash whatsthat. Thanks, BetterHelp.

Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years, I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that

AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe. And their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water. I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee. And it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered

and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2

and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. And we're back. We have one more segment to get to. Jake, you were in LA, like you were saying, about a week or two ago.

That's right. You read my poem at a company happy hour That's correct You told me that my lifeline basically speaks to a story of being potentially scared of missing out Yeah, I believe you had a wistful lifeline that was also associated with your heart line Yes, correct Yeah Die alone, questioning everything

I wonder if you read Marika and Johnny's poems live on air I could give them a gander let's do it certainly all right let's start with Marika okay which hand do you need let me see your dominant hand wow you're gonna die you're already dead

no Marika has a thick long lifeline that's the lifeline that you want to see. That sucks to hear. The other two things I can see on your palm is your lifeline's not connected to your heartline. Meaning? According to this, you don't find true love. Yeah, that alone for sure.

And then your headline shows that you are very creative. Interesting. Interesting. Do you find yourself creative? Yeah, I guess so. And while you don't find your true love, it looks like you meet the person you're going to marry when you're 22. Oh.

That was six years ago. So you met them. Interesting. I don't know what I was doing when I was 22. Is that when you met Lin-Manuel Miranda? No, I was them. Interesting. I don't know what I was doing when I was 22. Is that when you met Lin-Manuel Miranda? No, I was 21. Damn. Well, it could be by 22.

When did you meet Diggs? Did you meet him on Driggs? I mean, it was also probably before then. I met both of them before that also and when did you meet UTK I have not met UTK and he's married and has a child so all right right handed or left handed I'm left handed let's see that lefty I did not know that

Southpaw oh my god I thought Marika's lifeline was long fuck Johnny has a fucking savage life wow also wildly creative headline fucked up heartline yet again straight up i've never seen anyone's heartline that stunted and short there we go it doesn't explains everything it truly doesn't make any sense at least according to your palm you may

be following your authority i'm willing to wait i can actually i can tell be following up when you're 40. I'm willing to wait. I can tell you how many kids you're going to have if you make a fist. Alright. Two. Two. And you're going to miscarry four. Your palm says three. Too many, right? Read your own. Yeah, let's see.

36 tomorrow. Happy birthday. Thank you. You have a little bit more life experience. You are that's right is it accurate to your poem um yeah well so far i think i my heartline and my lifeline are connected which means i find my soul mate um i do sadly also have a wistful lifeline like you uh which is the questioning and wondering if your life would have been different which you know totally rings true creative heartline lifeline's pretty long

it's not quite as long as Marika nowhere near as long as Johnny who lives forever alone lives to 115 kids I'm looking at two two is ideal I want like fucking nine but too many uh all right

here we go you did read mine a little bit you need my dominant hand all right dominant hand what is what's the wistful like how do you read that the way that i learned and there's a lot of different ways and i think they're like there's palm readers that would definitely say that I did it wrong. But anyway, the lifeline, that's the common one that people know. But some people don't have an extra vertical line here. That's a wistful line. Yeah. And I mean, you might see one, but it kind of depends how pronounced it is. Is that a wistful line?

I wouldn't. No. I would not call that one um this i mean jeff has like a pretty serious one right here that intersects with his heartline um you're jeff's lifeline also like if you look at your lifeline yours goes around your thumb johnny goes almost to his wrist um jeff stops in the middle of the ball what age do you think that is i i'm surprised you're alive now i think that i think that's like 40 or 50 truly oh my god also the headline it curves up if you're creative and it goes if it's and it's straight if you're not and And Jeff has a super straight head. He's just not creative.

And yeah, of course, the wistful lifeline connected to his heartline means the decision that he questions is around love. And that's it? Oh, wait, kids. Kids, yeah.

Sorry, man. No, your palm says two. Two. Plugs! What are you guys working on? What do you want to point the people to? The floor is all of your guys'. And recording in person?

That was easy. It definitely felt shorter it wasn't uh we're at 46 minutes wow good for us yeah i'm gonna do a i'm gonna start a uh hand reading out birthday boy yeah plugs plugs plugs yeah oh me and my brother's store check out brothers of halcyon you can buy wallets key rings hats now you're kind of making it just a haberdashery at a certain point

yeah exactly I have the wallet it's very very nice I love it I appreciate that 50 I love it. I appreciate that. It's a good wallet. What kind of deal did he cut you to say that? 50% of the profits. That's insane.

Insane margins, right? To say it once. How did I even know this would happen? Brothers Halcyon. Johnny? Follow me at Johnny V. J-O-H-N-N-Y-V-I-I. Follow my company at Pretty Whack. follow me at Johnny V J O H N N Y V I I follow my company at pretty whack

I am pretty whack I am pretty whack I'm trying to secure pretty whack but I don't know anyone at Facebook if you happen to know someone at Facebook or Instagram let me know. You just got to DM that account.

I did. I said I'm willing. That's actually against Instagram's policies. Oh, really? That'll get you suspended, yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

Hmm. Find who it is. Email them separately. All right. I'll do that. Follow me at MarieKLon. Twitter, Instagram. Letterboxd.

Yeah. What's Letterboxd. What's Letterboxd? It's a movie reviewing app. It's like a good social media account. It's not a good social media account. I've been bullied on there. But it's fun. You can see which movies your friends have watched,

and you can rate them. You can write little reviews. My reviews are mostly like Dev Patel is hot sort of thing, but it's fun. Yeah, so follow me in there. I think I will. Yeah, listen to the new HeadGum podcasts

that have just come out. Sound Deals. Sound Deals. Scroll down. Listen to some old ones. Fake the Nation. Celebrity Book Club. That's it. And you can follow me scroll down listen to some old ones fake the nation celebrity book club yeah that's it and you can follow me on instagram

at jeffreyjames on twitter at jeffboyrd this has been the first in person head gum podcast ever we'll see you guys

again next week thanks so much for listening to this episode and until then that's all that's Daz folks that's Daz folks that's Daz that was hard That was a HeadGum Original.