The Headgum Podcast - 64: Impartial or Simp-Marshall (w/ Ben Marshall!)

Episode Date: August 20, 2021

Comedian Ben Marshall joins Jake, Marika, and Geoff to discuss the city of Savannah, yelling at children, and Ben's Twitter followers! Plus, the gang plays a round of Geoffardy!BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH!Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fmRate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts.Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. As a fellow brown person, I feel like I can call you Brownie. And you can call me Brownie. And that's like a fun little nickname that we can call each other around the office when I come to Brooklyn next summer. It's like isolating to everyone else going away. We're at a bar and I'm calling you that. Nick Rad tries to chime in.

Hey, it's the brownies. The whole bar stops. Союз нерушимый, Суды свободны, Friday, August 6th, 2021. Would you say it's the day after your birthday? Yes, it is. All right. It's the day after.

I would say that because it's a fact. Very good. With us as always, Jake Hurwitz on the sacks Marika Brownlee on the facts and we've got Ben Marshall man whoa please don't destroy fame doom break up fame I can't get enough of that sketch man what'd you say I said hey

thank you for having me thanks for doing the show we've got a lot to get to I don't know how else to put it Jake's wearing a tank. Yeah. You look good. I appreciate it. Yeah, this is, it's not my outfit that I would have chosen for this moment.

I spilled coffee on my other shirt and I washed it in the sink and it's drying out there. So I'm in my gym clothes and I'll thank everyone not to bring it up again. Yeah, sorry, I guess. But actually, I do appreciate that Ben said I looked, you said strong? He did not. I said good, but yeah. Ben, where are you coming at us from?

Exact address would be great. Oh, yeah. I'm in New York City. I'm in New York City. Not even going to narrow it down to a borough smart that's the way you wanna do it Jeff's new thing is doxing people oh thank you

for the applause Rick you live in I thank you not to bring that up again either we'll be bleeping all of that out that's good and I'm at an Airbnb near McCarran Park. You can leave that in because you'll be gone by the time. Ben, when are you moving to LA?

Oh, I don't know. I don't have plans to. Hell yeah. Sorry, guys. Do you all live in LA? No. Me and Marika. New York strong.

Cuomo style. Yes. Oh my God. I'm so sorry. Never been prouder. Eric Adams 2020. And Jake, you finally called on him to resign you wanted the investigation I wanted all the facts to come out

yeah America has been anxiously waiting for your input on this and you just got the adult braces off Ben you're from Savannah, Georgia. Oh, wait, really? Yeah. So is Marika is what I was going to say.

No, what? Really? Yeah. Wow. Wait, what? Where'd you go to high school? I didn't go to high school in Savannah. I went to I went to Bartow Elementary and then I went to another elementary school like on Whitmarsh Island.

Wait, where on Whitmarsh Island? where on whitmarsh island i don't remember the name of it you know those like two schools that are like behind the publics yeah marsh point yeah i went to marsh point no way i used to live like right near there that's so fun near the publics yeah right behind the publiclix, yeah. This just ends. Why are you interrupting? Kelly Oubre Jr. signs with the Charlotte Hornets. What are you talking about? They were having a nice moment.

This is breaking news. We can go back to what you guys were talking about. You interrupted a human connection to talk about the NBA trade? Kelly Oubre, he signed with the Hornets. That's pretty important. Yeah. The Hornets. Sorry about that.

Savannah? So you weren't even listening when they were talking. They've gotten so much past Savannah. All right, sorry, yeah. Exciting stuff. You guys were neighbors. Were you there at the same time? I don't know.

I left in, I guess, 2005. I moved to Massachusetts. And you never looked back. Yeah, I was in Savannah in 2005. Maybe we crossed paths at the Publix. You must have. Possible. Or that Sonic that's over there. That Sonic was

my high school spot. That is where me and my friends hung out all the time. Where'd you go to high school? I went to Savannah Arts Academy. My address is... We will bleep all this out. Where'd you go to college?? I went to Savannah Arts Academy. My address is... We will bleep all this out. Where'd you go to college?

You went to Tisch? Yes, yes. That tracks. How did you know that? That was a wild guess. I did not actually think you went to Tisch. Do you know... I do know...

She used to work at HeadGum. Do you know... No. Tisch was a big school. But it's amazing he knew one of the people he said. I mean, the first one, but he should have said no to both. Yeah. You guys, you're from LA.

Do you know... That's not a real name. I just run through the list of everyone I know in LA. I don't know. How close is Savannah to Atlanta? I have a friend named Ramey that lives in Georgia. Just Ramey? Yeah, Ramey. Well, her last name is... Okay a friend named Ramey that lives in Georgia. Just Ramey? Yeah, Ramey.

Well, her last name is ***. Okay. Yeah, Ramey is ***. Yeah. Wow, that's crazy. No way. No way you know it. Atlanta's like four hours away.

But by the way. Totally. It has nothing to do with Savannah. It's a Picasso t-shirt. Hell yeah. Did you guys used to like... Well, I guess you didn't go to high school in Savannah. I didn't, no.

What's that? I also went to eighth grade in Savannah. And you went to high school in Massachusetts? I went to high school in Connecticut. In Connecticut? I've been to many places. Do you know me? I grew up in Connecticut.

I guess we should talk about Please Don't Destroy. I guess. You guess? Do you want to plug your sketch group? Yeah, my sketch group is called Please Don't Destroy. We're really, really funny and talented. Honestly, I mean this as a compliment. The three of you have a great chemistry.

Oh, thanks, man. Why would you take that? I don't know. People always read into what I say on the show all the time. I feel like I need to be very clear this episode because we're just meeting now virtually. We should say that you tested positive, which is why you're not with us in person currently.

Breakthrough case for sure. Much true, much true. Yeah, and that's good because you know I'm still weighing my options vaccine-wise. Yeah, you're doing your own research. I was at an anti-Quomo rally. Right. Yeah, so people had some interesting takes.

Anti-Quomo pro anti-vax. Whoa. It's a weird middle of a very. It was just Jake. No, I was just fainting at a Starbucks on 6th Avenue. That's what it was. You also just you just did stamp town yes that show is so fun yeah my friends put that on i don't know zach very well but i know cory lane i don't know if you met he was he was the other redhead captain sadbeard captain sadbeard yeah he's one of my good friends yeah if you come to la you

should do his show he does home gym and has a garage in Echo Park. I would love to. That sounds great. Ferris got this out. Nice. You a big Olympics guy, Ben? Not so much like the sports, but like the effect it has on the host country. So it almost doesn't matter how many gold medals, let's say, Croatia gets.

Five. What's that? Five. Track and field, mixed table tennis. Mixed table tennis? Mixed doubles table tennis. Yeah, that's where it's a man and a woman play against another man and a woman. I'm going to do another reveal for you guys on my camera here. Holy shit, you're in Tokyo.

Whoa. Wow. And during those Olympics, there were some sports in Savannah, I think. Ben Pant to reveal an Olympic gold medal that he has. I mean, my God, what event? For mixed doubles tables. Yeah, we were watching the Greco-Roman wrestling, we should say, tourney at the Whiskey Brooklyn two nights ago. I found the, I watched some Greco-Roman wrestling.

I found it to be very underwhelming. It's just two huge guys with their hands around each other's, like the back of their necks, standing really, really still. And for some reason, just like the points keep on going up. And it's like, wow, 6-3. And then it's over. Like, I thought you like fall down, get pushed over. It's so. Yeah, there's like wow six three and then it's over like i thought you like fall down get pushed over it's so yeah there's like not very many moves no it's like you kind of just grab

each other and then like whoever's stronger wins just locked in place my fear is that i didn't start recording the aux on my laptop which is fine i'll just manually put the sound things in so have you been hitting the soundboard and we haven't heard anything? You haven't been hearing it? Oh, no, I guess you haven't done a lot of sound effects. You heard, I mean... Yeah, I heard the Russian anthem.

I'm recording now. Okay. There it is. There it is, yeah. It really does sound like you well we've talked about your professional hobby because let's be honest comedy is it's a side hustle for you let's talk about what you're really into how do you make that cash how do you stay in let's's say, Nolita? Yeah, expensive neighborhood. Yeah. Yeah.

Thanks. I don't live there, but. Well, mostly it's Olympics, you know. I'm an athlete at the end of the day. Really? What sport? Table tennis. Table tennis.

You may know it as ping pong. Globally. I saw a video yesterday of I want to say like a two year old who was absolutely expert at ping pong just like hitting a thousand aces in a row

how could they clear the table were they standing on something I think they were standing on something just for audio that's not regulation the way you said that was very audio, can we take that again? That's not regulation. The way you said that was very airy. Oh, really? Can you take that again, wild? No.

I don't see a lot. Oh, we should do a major key alert. When you're visiting a new town, try to make new friends. Because at a certain point, you need to expand your network, and it can't just be in the Angels. It can't just be inhattan we should say uh we are on native land um and let's not forget marika no idea what you just said let's make friends when we travel to fucking stolen land yeah and ben do you think that land ownership is inherently unethical um yeah thank you

i want to come out of the gate really hard with a bunch of political opinions it's important because it's noon on a friday word of the week yeah what noon yeah nice nice wow no way yeah sorry you didn't win this week ben but that's a that's a thousand dollars to me is that right yeah cool shit um it's just didn't yeah but you don't have to venmo me because you did this a few weeks ago and i just had to Yeah, it's ******. But you don't have to Venmo me because you did this a few weeks ago and I just had to Venmo you back. And it's kind of just like a chore. Yeah.

You ever had somebody accidentally Venmo you like a bunch of money? No. That's happened to me. Really? How much? Well, I mean, $500. That's a lot. I mean, that's a lot to get a Venmo.

Was it a friend or just like a random person? It was a friend. But you didn't have to get that dollars you didn't have to yeah did you wait what did what happened they like reached out to you they were like i'm sorry i um i sent you money by accident please give it back yeah i mean kind of a boring story because i did just send it back yeah no i mean, I mean, you have to. That'd be crazy if you kept it. I mean, you lose one friend, you gain $500. Yeah, how much do you value that friend?

There will be a chance for you to make a couple hundred dollars on this show and that's not a joke. Really? Wow, great. He genuinely just Venmo'd me $1,000. I could keep this if I wanted to. Did you do high school theater? No. Did you you me? Yeah? No, I was in well. That's I guess we could go season by season

I was in Sondheim Saturday night, which is actually his first place. You don't know that insane that that was what your school chose I Was in wait where you from Jeff? I'm from Cleveland, Ohio. Whoa. Cool. No one has ever reacted like that. Holy fucking shit. He's not going to get over it. I've never seen you this happy and uncomfortable at the same time. I'm so starstruck.

That's where the streetlight was invented. Is that true? I meant to say stoplight. Streetlight. You know you're in Los Feliz when there's those certain types of gas lamp streetlights.

Jake knows what I'm talking about. You used to live at what? What is it? Okay, and if you reverse search that on Spokio, you can find your current address. Okay, so let's bleep that out. We do have to take a break. I had to send you back $1,000.

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I'll have a glass of water. I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee. And it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health it's ag1 that's why we partnered with them for so long so if you want to take ownership of your health start with ag1 try ag1 and get a free one year supply of vitamin d3 k2 and five free

ag1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that again that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. And we're back. Sorry, I didn't mean to derail whatever you were saying about high school theater, Jeff. He derailed himself for sure. There was never a rail.

There was never a rail. Also, I misspoke. Saturday Night was the first musical we did. I'm so sorry. In the fall, I did a series of short plays. Were you like like the guy were you like the king well we all had nicknames and I was the kid because that's not true but of course I wasn't like the guy I would say that uh that that title probably goes to my buddy James James Johnston. James Johnston? Wait, not even joking. What?

Did he go to NYU? No, he went to Ithaca. Oh, man. I knew a guy who was in theater at NYU named James Johnston. Do you know Sammy's? No, we're not doing this again. Wait, I do have a question. Did you meet my sister at NYU?

Or you guys met at the one? No, yeah. We met just like from doing comedy first. Stop doing the noises. I'm talking, please. What if I just had a full meltdown? Listen, Jeff. That would be an awesome. We'd relish it. a full meltdown listen Jeff that would be an awesome

we'd relish someone needs to go off on him no I met Eliza just like from doing comedy but then we also ended up working the same day job at the 14th Street Y and so it's funny like the

people who I worked at that job with like they saw me like get mad at kids i don't mean like you see another side of people just like yelling at children yeah that's fucking nuts you really it's a true bonding experience to yell at a child definitely it's it is like being very vulnerable in front of someone it's like the same thing like you saw me cry we're closer you saw me lose my cool on an eight-year-old like a true like small child got so under my skin that i was like hey stop just like adrenaline pumping to tell off a kid what was your was that like we were working like a camp or was it it was an after school program okay um so yeah these kids in the east village

would you would have to pick them up from school and like walk them across like busy new york city streets and it would be like it'll be like one like dumb guy and you and like 20 small kids like running around the street. Fucking Manhattan. Yeah. Or Manhattan, sorry. Manhattan. Namaste. It was very high stakes and they did not really like vet the employees very much.

I shouldn't be saying that. My sister worked there. She was great. She was really good with the kids. Yeah. But now you don't need a day job. She was great. She was really good with the kids. But now you don't need a day job. We should... Because you have a deal with... on two projects, we should say.

And what were the... What was the rate on that? In terms of the sale? Wait, stop. Is that real? Do you... Are you just bullshitting or do you know that?

It's on your website. It's on the front page of your website. I searched Ben Marshall, clicked one link and it was the third sentence down. man okay fair enough i forgot i put that on my website it's a good thing for your website weird thing for jeff to bring up on a podcast i'm just wondering what the sale was we can cut this out yeah let's let's get into the numbers here let's break down the deals no uh I split everything three ways with my writing partners,

and it's not as much money as you think. You got to shed those fuckers, man, because that's the issue. If you get staffed, suddenly you're in that trio, not even a pair, and you're splitting the WGA weekly rate between the three of you, which is just not good for Ben. That's all I care about at this point. Yeah. Jeff, you should be my new financial advisor.

I am kind of good with finance in a certain way. No, you just bet me a thousand dollars. Also, there was like a month where you just kept saying Dogecoin to the moon. I did make a lot of money on Dogecoin. But it wasn't because I'm smart. Did you really? Yeah, I did because I

invested in January. Wow. Yeah. I love crypto. You really? Yeah, I did because I invested in January. Wow. Yeah. I love crypto. I love stocks and bonds. Those are such different things. I love taking a chance on a young entrepreneur. I meant to do it French, but it came out Valley.

Yeah. Speaking of Valley, we're in one right now. We do have to move on. Great transition. Speaking of Valley we're in one right now. We do have to move on great transition Welcome to impartial or simp Marshall Have you guys ever played impartial or simp Marshall course not all right, so this is a game where? Ben you're big on Twitter. Thanks, and if anybody doesn't know you by name They definitely have seen your videos and or tweets.

What is it? What's your Twitter handle? It's at not Ben Marshall. Kind of a funny little joke because it actually is Ben Marshall. Oh, yeah. So this game is, it's basically impartial or some Marshall. So I'm going to list off notable people. They're not all celebrities necessarily, but notable people.

And then you guys have to guess whether they're impartial to Ben, meaning they don't follow him on Twitter or they're simp Marshall, meaning they're simping for Ben. Wow. This one's not for cash because the next one is, but this is a yes or no thing. Okay. Patton Oswalt.

I'm going to go simp Marshall. Yeah, I'll say simp as well. That's correct. Patton Oswalt. I'm going to go Simp Marshall. Yeah, I'll say Simp as well. That's correct. Patton Oswalt follows Ben on Twitter. Joe Wenger, TV writer Joe Wenger. Personal hero of mine, anyway. I don't really know. Let's go impartial.

Just because that'd be weird. Yeah, totally. Totally. I knew that he would. Is Ben allowed to play? Ben, you don't have to play. Joe Wenger is a big time simp marshal. We're working together on something,

so you know he simps my ass. Is he working on the show you're developing? He's working on... Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a show that we're developing. I feel like such an asshole talking about this. You gotta get rid of the... It'll all be bleeped out. developing. I feel like such an asshole talking about this. You gotta get rid of the ****.

It'll all be bleeped out. It'll all be revealed in time. Huh? You said it'll all be bleeped out. Yeah, it's gonna be bleeped out. I said it'll all be revealed in time. Yeah, not on this podcast. Not on this podcast. Not on this podcast, but maybe if the show goes. On fucking Ben's time. And you know what? Daddy, chill maybe if the show goes. On fucking Ben's time. And you know what?

Daddy, chill. Just stop the noises. I make a lot of money from my many projects. Misha Barton. Oh, God. It would just be too good if she sipped Marshall. It's impartial. I didn't know Misha was on Twitter.

Misha Barton, she was on the OC. The OC, yeah. She was Summer. Nick Stahl. You don't have to know to make a guess. Simp. Who is it then? That's the star of HBO's show Carnival carnival see we did actually have to know to make

a guess you're telling me nick stall carnival doesn't follow me jesus christ the vein is popping out of your neck i've never seen him so bad i I'm sorry. One second. Yeah, obviously don't pick up the phone. Are you kidding? Unreal. Taking a phone call. Yeah. And they're not even there. Yeah, for sure.

Oh, Allison with Insurance Consumer Bureau. How are you? It's a bot. It's a spam. He's just desperate for attention from anything, I think. But not us, though. Move your mouth from the mic. Yeah.

Because this is going to have to be in the show now. I do hear something coming from his phone, actually. So basically, their insurance premium was lowered. And so she's trying to poach me. You don't have to explain it to me. From Chubb. I do have car insurance. I'm with Chubb currently.

Chubb? She ended the call. Chubb? John George. Simp Marshall. Oh, yeah. Chubb? John George. Simp Marshall. Oh, yeah. Simp Marshall. For sure.

Martin Hurley. Who's that? Simp Marshall. That's correct. He's a member of his sketch group. Jake Hurwitz. This isn't fucking fair to me. Impartial.

I don't follow anybody on Twitter. I follow 19 people. You follow 19 people? I think it's maybe more now because Marika made me feel guilty. Yeah, I did for a second. Mad pod people made me feel guilty. So I follow like 24 people. I'll follow Ben Marshall.

You follow 34 people 34? yeah that's a lot more than I thought thank you for letting me be a part of him Coach Fox who?

he's the head coach of the Grand Rapids City College men's basketball team impartial he sims Marshall? he sims Marshall yeah Phil Lewis Marshall. He's Sims Marshall? He's Sims Marshall, yeah. Phil Lewis. How long is this game? This really ought to be the last one. Phil Lewis played Mr. Mosby on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody.

Simp Marshall. No. He doesn't have Twitter. Don't fuck it up. this is a different game if they don't even have twitter professor sure who's that he's an adjunct professor at arizona western college yes you clearly fucking crawl through ben's followers sims marshall yeah chad michael murray doesn't have twitter. Correct. You fuck. Joel Lawson.

Sims Marshall. Yeah, because it's a school teacher in Arizona. He's actually a freelance videographer slash full-time nerd. Nice. Sims Marshall. Cool. Unreal. I didn't hate the game.

What's up? I liked the game. Oh, thank you. Now you like the game. Now you like the game what's up i like the game oh thank you now you like the game now you like the game because it's over yeah it's a good game this is a great game major key alert flattery will get you nowhere i was about to insult you but you know i'm not gonna play within your rules ben are you seeing anybody how's your your love life? Oh, God. I actually literally just went through a breakup like a couple of days ago of a four-year relationship. Wow. I love it. So let's get into that. Let's get into it.

I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm visiting here with my buddy AJ, and we were walking to the office from our Airbnb, and we stopped to get coffee. Weirdly, I thought it was just a coffee shop, but it ended up being the coffee shop that's attached to the Lollabo, the unbelievably expensive candle and fragrance store. And the guy was kind of like shaking when he saw us approaching with excitement.

There was a glint in his eye that I couldn't attribute to either sadness or gladness and it ended up being the former because he did divulge to us that the night prior he went through a breakup he seemed to be on the receiving end of it he was desperately trying to connect with us uh which i think it only happens when you're like in the uh let's say the shadow phase of a breakup yeah whenever i hear people broke up though i'd say congratulations that's what i said even if you

got dumped it's good it's good it's nice yeah it's it it broken. That's what it is. Wait, Jeff, did you allow this guy into your heart? He's here in the office now. Yeah, he's been kind of a nuisance. He's been a tawny nuisance. Seems like he really wanted to connect with you, and you kind of coldly shut him out. He said, what are you doing this weekend? And I said, we're going to a tiki bar tonight.

And he said said that's awesome i might be lincoln and then just like kind of moved on immediately steamrolled past it and said i might be meeting up with a lady friend of mine because i just went through a breakup yesterday and i was like sounds bad but maybe good yeah um and he said it's going to be a game time decision so i'm like okay we'll go get coffee there tomorrow and find out yeah i guess we gotta go he said a lady friend of his like Like, does that mean that he was, like, trying to hook up? Like, right after his breakup? Yeah.

Damn, you should have him on the pod. Well, we have you, which is, you're in the same emotional place as him, if not worse. What is your plan this weekend? First freaking phase. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you gonna crawl into, like, a a blanket tunnel or are you gonna hit the town paint it right um well i have to go get a covid test and if i test negative i have a show tonight so i'm going out into the town hopefully i'm not spreading the variant around. Yeah. I'm like talking rhymes. Is it a sketch show or are you doing your own set?

We're doing a set on Whiplash. Nice. The movie or the injury? The movie, yeah. We're doing a set where the subject matter is Whiplash, the movie. J.K. Simmons' performance. That's amazing. Let's tell her.

Yeah, that's a good movie. Do you play any instruments? No, but my high school yearbook photo is me holding a ukulele. That's so embarrassing. You just said um and said not a very long pause. Not even in the mic. Earlier you said you over-prepared for this podcast. He just means he got like 400 names for St. Marshall. Oh yeah, that was Final Jeopardy that you were doing.

This is Jeopardy! Oh god. Oh lord. oh god oh lord the soundboard welcome to Jeopardy this is a hit on this show Ben it's basically Jeopardy but wetter here we go

our categories are the Lindbergh baby, all things diesel, jet blue, post-war Japanese modernist architecture, and sauce. All the numbers you see on this board are for actual cash. It's so much money,

man. Wow. Why are you looking at me like you're pissed? I'm trying to save you cash. It's all or nothing, I was going to say. I see. First place gets money, the rest of you don't. And also, if you get any negative things, you owe me that money.

Here we go. Have you guys played Jeopardy before? Yeah, that's not how it fucking worked. They didn't owe money. You owe Trebek money. That's why he was rich. It wasn't the residuals. Shall we?

Yeah, who goes first? Ben, you're team one. Marika, you're team two. Jake, you're team three. Ben, why don was rich. It wasn't the residuals. Shall we? Yeah, who goes first? Ben, you're team one. Marika, you're team two. Jake, you're team three. Ben, why don't you start us off? I'll do JetBlue for a hundred, please. JetBlue for a hundred. The cheapest way to fly JetBlue. What is TrueBlue? What is basic economy? I can't believe we have to go back and

look at this. It's what is blackmailing a JetBlue customer service rep So you gotta get dirt on the front desk person and use that to your advantage There's gotta be a better way You could also work for JetBlue They get free flights

It's definitely easier Nobody controls the board so let's go Marika I'll do all things diesel for 300 The person Yeah. Nobody controls the board, so let's go Marika. I'll do all things diesel for 300. Awesome. The person that guessed last controls the board in Jeopardy. But this is Jeff Hardy, so we... Whatever. Yeah, maybe it's your own rule.

Jay, can I talk to you outside for a second? No. I think let's step outside. I don't think you should. Take off your hat. He's leaving. He's insane. I'm not going outside, man I don't think you should. Take off your hat. He's leaving. He's insane. I'm not going outside, man.

Yep, there he goes. This is crazy. I've never seen him like this. Are you guys all in the same room? Yeah, we really are. How did I not know that? I don't like this. I'm sorry you have to be here for all of this oh no this is great yeah dude jeff and jake have stepped away from the podcast they're having a conversation

we can't even really play the game because we don't have control okay jake's back i don't think he was actually mad because i just went outside he was in the bathroom and I heard him pissing. Like a really hard stream too. So I think he just feigned being mad at me so he could get out there and pee. He didn't want to tell everybody that he had to pee because he felt like

that was showing weakness. Right, right, yeah. He is like a weird masculinity thing. Yeah, it's very toxic. Where are they doing Whiplash now? At Union Hall, hosted by Shalewa Sharp. Fun. Cool.

Love that. Do you notice that when you stand up with these headphones, they start crackling and shock your ears? I did not notice, but I don't like that. No, it's not good. And he's back. And you also got a drink. Yeah.

You were bad. that. No, it's not good. And he's back. You also got a drink. Yeah. You had to piss and you were thirsty and you made me feel like an asshole. But you did come out. Oh yeah, I came out. I appreciate that. Open the can now.

That's the sound of a podcast starting. Alright. Marika did choose All Things Diesel for 300. A German inventor whose untimely seafaring death remains to this day an unsolved mystery. Jesus. Isn't that like the weakest link sound?

That's absolutely correct. That is Rudolph Diesel. That's like the that's like the fucking champion of jeopardy that like says what and then only says people's last names which is so unfair yeah he sucks who is it i don't remember i actually simped that guy because he's from new haven isn't it lavar burton no not the host the current champion no, it's the current champion. Oh, got it. Okay. It's like if the answer is Meghan Trainor, he'll be like, who is Trainor? He doesn't even say who is. He'd say, what's Trainor?

That's what he says. He's the worst. Damn. Fuck that. Yeah. Jake controls the board. Pulling ahead in first with 200. Marika hasn't broken.

Well, she's breaking even and Ben owes me $100. Let's go all things Diesel for $200. All things Diesel for $200. This Diesel dominated the NBA in the 90s. Who is Shaquille O'Neal? Correct. Yeah, no, that's not. That's not correct.

I'm sorry. So this is going to be some kind of weird, hard to get one. I'm going to pass. Who's Diesel? Who is Vin? Oh, that's a good guess, but I'm sorry, no. Do I owe you more money? Every wrong guess is negative that.

I'm at negative 500. But yeah, you were up 500 that one time, so this is actually perfect. And then Marika, you did, what did you guess you said? I just said who's Diesel. Incorrect, so I'm so sorry about that. That's going to be wrong for sure. Do you guys want to just hear the answer? Jake, you don't want to...

I don't care. What is Diesel Jeans? This was a fashion staple of the 90s and 1000s. You got to assume that a lot of NBA stars were walking in. We have to assume. Marika was right when she said, oh, you said who is Diesel, not what is Diesel. Yeah, but you know. All right.

Ben controls the board for some reason oh my god let's go with JetBlue300 JetBlue for 300 the jet in blue with regards to Nets and Hardwood huh? who is Kenny the jet?

honestly we were looking for Jason Terry on the Dallas Mavericks, but I'm going to give you that. I'm going to give you that one. You also don't let any of us guess. All right. Ben still controls the board. Only down by 200 at this point.

Jake is in first, but only because he's a coward who's not guessing. Right? Jake, can I talk to you outside for a second? No, I get another drink. Do you have to pee again oh is it me yeah yes yeah okay the rules keep

changing I'm gonna stick with JetBlue 200 JetBlue for 200 at least 34 inches what is the leg room space of a JetBlue flight incorrect200, at least 34 inches. What is the legroom space of a JetBlue flight? Incorrect.

What is the overhead capacity for bag size? Yeah, well, Mariko is right. You just fucking have done something weird to gaslight her. So go ahead, reveal the answer. We were looking for how tall is JetBlue chairman Peter... Is it Peter? Peter Boneparth? tall is JetBlue chairman Peter is it Peter? Peter Boneparth using Price is Right rules.

Is it Peter? Boneparth is the weird one. Marika controls the board. Let's go sauce for 200. Alright, sauce for 200. Sirens would hate this aioli. This is garlic? Sirens would hate this aioli.

Oh, really? I mean, that's... I'll give you that one. Alright, yeah. What is any kind of aioli? Because sirens, their whole thing, I don't know if you know this, Jake, they sing. Dairy is bad to have if you're about to perform. Is aioli... There's no dairy in aioli because sirens their whole thing i don't know if you know this jake they sing yeah dairy is bad to have if you're about to perform is aioli oh there's no dairy in aioli it's egg and oil god you're dumb no it's not a bombshell marika controls the board this is crazy let's go sauce for 300 sauce for 300 Cerberus would hate this aioli

is it fucking any kind of aioli no the thing is I want you guys to win because it's not fun to hear you guys be wrong on the show what is that? Mmm, Bill What is garlic aioli, I don't even know if that's correct

Absolutely correct Marika pulls ahead She's winning $300 at this point and that $300 is coming from Jake and Ben combined because they both combined owe me $300 Here we go market controls the board. Let's call it out with sauce for a hundred. Sauce for a hundred vampires would hate this aioli. Garlic aioli. What's that? What is garlic aioli? I don't even remember what the right one is I don't think that's correct. Yeah of course it's not. What is sun choke aioli? They don't like sunlight. Little joke for you I won't you don't owe me anything for that cuz that was... I don't owe you anything for anything I don't owe you anything for anything Alright Ben controls the board for some reason

Okay All things Diesel for 100 All things Diesel for 100 Renzo Rosso's brainchild You can also phone a Finn So if you want I can get Finn Wolfhard on the phone And we can see if he

wants to help you out here he won't he did once yeah i would phone a finn all right let's get time to phone a finn um who's renzo i'm looking i'm trying to find some kind of interesting like soundbite for this uh i guess we're gonna phone a finn soundbite for this. I guess we're going to phone a fan. You failed at the interesting soundbite. Do you know who Renzo Rosso is, Ben?

I have an idea. Let's see what Finn says. No way he picks up I don't know where he is yeah exactly is this really him yeah yeah Jeff

Jeff's friends with him but I guess not that Ferris can you just splice in the one time he did pick up and then somehow make it sound like it worked this time? That was easy. What are diesel jeans? Holy shit. Absolutely correct. What is diesel jeans? What is diesel jeans? Holy shit. Absolutely correct. What is diesel jeans?

What is diesel jeans? Let's go. Ben, am I even? You still owe me $100. You still owe me a stack, but we'll figure this out because I think you might dominate these last two categories because you went to the most prestigious school out of any of the four of us. Well, Marika did go to UChicago.

Let's go with post-war japanese modernist architecture for 100 post-war japanese modernist architecture for 100 a central focus in the reconstruction of post-war japan what is what is what is post-war Japanese modernist architecture? I mean, that's correct in theory. Ben, do we give it to him? Yeah. It was supposed to be what is the family home. I thought it was just you rehashing the name of the category. I'm trying to get in your head.

It's impossible because I can't even get up there. Jake controls the board. Let's go Lindbergh baby. That poor missing child that you're exploiting. All right. For what? Lindbergh was actually a pretty good guy. Not really. Wasn't he an oil magnet or something?

200. Right in the middle. Lindbergh baby for 200. Dear sir, have $50,000 ready and $20 bills. After two to four days, we will inform you you were to deliver the money. A lot of this is spelled wrong. We warn you for making any

ding public or for notify the police. The child is in gut care. Indication for all letters are signature and three holes. What is the ransom letter? I i mean i'm so tired of you guys getting these wrong i'll give you that but the correct answer is what is the way jeff would have phrased the ransom note because the real ransom note he wanted uh 25 and thousand

and twenty dollar bills 15 000 and ten dollar bills and then you know whatever the difference is you just streamlined it but you didn't correct any of it. I don't understand why they need five notes. You spelled money wrong. Seeing nature. Got it! Got it! Ben controls the board.

I got the right answer. He's the guest of honor. You got two wrong answers in a row that he gave to you just saying um post-war japanese modernist architecture for 200 please post-war japanese modernist architecture for 200 the iconic swiss french architect behind tokyo's national museum of western art ben you actually might get this one because I think you're a smart guy. Don't overthink it. Just think of the Swiss-French modernist architect that everyone knows.

What? Do you guys know one? Who is Eiffel? That's not modernism. That would be... What would you call the Eiffel Tower, Marika? A statue. A statue.

Industrial design of some kind. It's a A statue. An industrial design of some kind. It's a big statue. You can't Google. I'm going to because it's really going to piss me off. This is fucked. I know what it is. Yeah, you know what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Say what you think it is and then Google it and then we'll see. I mean, I already saw it. But it's like... Well, to be fair, I only Googled Swiss French architect, but it's Le Corbusier. That's correct. It's Le Corbusier. Well, to be fair, I only Googled Swiss French architect, but it's Le Corbusier. That's correct. It's Le Corbusier. Marika's kind of pulling ahead here. Damn, man.

Up ahead by 300. Wow. I really have to run the board with the rest of these. Can it be my turn since there's no rules? Hey, there's no rules. Why not? Lindbergh Baby 300. Lindbergh Baby for 300.

One of the many similarities between the stories of Willy Wonka and the Lindbergh kidnapping. Okay. You're not going to get it. Don't think like it's on the tip of your tongue. Lindbergh and the, okay. You also unlocked our triple or nothing answer. Really? Yeah.

Well, now I don't want to answer it. Both involved golden tickets. Holy shit. Absolutely. Wow. This is insane. I know that that was just deductive reasoning, but holy shit.

That's really good. I was not even approaching anywhere. I was going to say chocolate. Yeah, I was going to say something about kids being tortured. Basically, the U.S. Mint issued, this was one of the first kidnapping cases that went federal, the U.S. Mint issued, this was one of the first kidnapping cases that went federal.

The U.S. Mint issued special dollars that had these gold things on it. And they took down the serial numbers so they'd be able to track the notes to see where they were trying to get the. I know. I knew that. Damn. That's what I said. Yeah. And Wonka was interesting, too.

They put the golden tickets in the chocolate bars. And kids just ended up buying them. And if you had one, you were allowed to go to the factory and you got a tour with Willie. You studied this at college, right? Yeah. So Charlie's grandparents were all bedridden. Fascinatingly enough.

Alright. Let's go Lindbergh, baby. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory for 100 why? because he just got it right he got it right

and he knew it it wasn't even deductive reasoning 100 Lindbergh baby for 100 the cause of death of the Lindbergh baby is it known they found the baby?

yeah it's known I don't remember this they found him on the side of the road I guess it wasn't alive when it happened let's say blunt force trauma

I kind of want Ben to win the cash, so let's give Ben the fork. I want to risk my remaining $200. What did you say? I said blunt force trauma. Yeah, it was head trauma. Wow, nice. That's really fucked up that I had to say that. I guess I get $100 for it.

I wish that didn't happen. Alright, Jake controls the board. There's only one left. That's post-war Japanese modernist architecture for 300. A functionalist masterpiece built vertically to maximize living space on a triangular lot in Tokyo. This isn't a guess, but I think Ben guessed correctly. The

golden certificates, and you said it was triple or nothing. Oh my god. So he actually would have 900. Oh, wow. Thank you. God damn it. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, wow. Thank you. God damn it. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah.

Wow. You weren't ready for that. Damn Jeff. Um, functionalist masterpiece built. Man, I don't make a lot of money at this company. Uh,

so just keep that in mind when I send you the Venmo. I'm going to keep it. Yeah. You did win because even if Jake wins this, actually, no, I think Marika could tie. And then I would, I guess I would send you keep it. Yeah. You did win because even if Jake wins this, actually, no, Marika could tie, and then I would, I guess I would send you both half. Right, because it would be tie for the win.

Sorry, why would you only send them both half? Basically, it would probably split the winnings. Why would you send them both half if they both won $800? Because I don't have $1,600 in my bank account. I have $1,100 in my bank account. You actually probably don't because you Venmo'd me $1,000, so it's going to take a day for it to come back. I have $187 in my bank account then You actually probably don't because you Venmo'd me $1,000. So it's going to take a day for it to come back.

I have $187 in my bank account then. All right. A functionalist masterpiece. Built to maximize living space on a triangular lot in Tokyo. I just like don't even know what we're answering. I think it's not.

Yeah, also, Ben, don't even know what we're answering. I think it's not... Yeah, also Ben, you would actually lose if you guess wrong. My advice to you is don't guess. It's not in my interest. We all pass. You can't all pass. Yeah, we can. What? This is bullshit. Pass, pass.

Alright. What is Takamitsu Azuma's tower house? Marinka, you should have guessed. I was going to say that. No, you weren't. Yes, I was. Were you? Yes, I was literally going to say that. The only thing I

couldn't think of was tower. You were going to say Takamitsu Azuma's house. You probably wouldn't have given it to me the only thing I couldn't come up with was house yeah wow what a game great game this

was Jeopardy did you say Jeopardy instead of Jeopardy? Jeopardy I said put that right out instead of Jeopardy. Jeopardy, I said. Put that right out. So abrupt. All right, Ben, this is the plug section of the show.

What do you have? What are you working on? What do you have the peep? Oh my God, Ferris got that out. Ben, this is the plugs episode. Keep this up. This is the plugs episode. This is the plugs episode keep this up this is the plugs episode segment of the episode

what are you working on what do you have going on in your spheres the floor is yours point the people to go oh no I'm in a sketch group called please don't destroy check us out and that's all not Ben out. And that's all.

At not Ben Marshall on Twitter. That's right. That's right. Instagram. Are you on Instagram? I am at... Damn, dude. We really fell off.

I felt like it was going really well. We didn't stick the landing. I am at Ben Marshall style on Instagram. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Jake, Marika, anything? Yeah, I think my sister's band has some shows coming up in September. You know, COVID.

What's the word? Willing? COVID willing, yeah. Really, all of us. No no this is rachel one of the one of the other triplets uh but check out honey magpie check out their website for their tour dates if they do a show in la they should do actually i think they have it here i think they're going to knoxville and raleigh so it's just not okay i was gonna say they should try and get sponsored by magpie's soft serve oh uh, yeah. I took a picture of that sign for once.

Yeah, that's cool. That was a nice selfless plug. Oh, thank you. Yeah. For a selfish plug, follow me on Twitter, Instagram, and Letterboxd at Marie Galon. You really should be plugging my sister show. And also, I mean, go to that for sure, for sure. You can follow me on Instagram at Jeffrey James, on Twitter at JeffBoyRD. Ben Ben thank you so much for doing the show

thanks for having me this was fun I'll see you guys tonight yeah we'll be at your show as long as you let us know about that test actually where is your show it's at Union Hall it's sold out sorry hell yeah I just looked it up it's not sold out tactful very tactful

anything else you want to leave the people with some kind of parting wisdom teeth I just looked it up. It's not sold out. Tactful. Very tactful. Anything else you want to leave the people with? Some kind of parting wisdom teeth? Oh, man. Yeah. Thank you, guys. And good night. We should end every show with that from now on.

There's no confidence. Put it on the soundboard. That was a Hiddem Original.