The Headgum Podcast - 69: Go Off, King

Episode Date: September 24, 2021

Headgum's newest intern Grayson makes his debut and joins Johnny, Marika, and Geoff to discuss COVID binge-watching, Johnny's strip club adventure, and Joey King. Come to The Headgum Podcast Live in NYC on October 22 and check out the other shows at headgum.com/live. Pre-sale code HGLIVE. Check out the newest Headgum podcast, A Good Cry and subscribe so you don't miss the first episode dropping September 30. Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Join the Headgum Discord. Check out our sponsor MyBookieSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. What was that? That's the only one we use going forward forever. Walk us through this watch. What are we looking at there? This is a Tudor Submariner 79190, right? I don't know. What's that?

What a boring hobby. Continue. So this was, and it might have to be, the last Submariner made by Tudor, right? I don't know. Why? Don't keep chiming in. Don't say it like we know what you're talking about i also don't know what a submariner is that's the most iconic watch of all time right james bond

style sure 55 13 55 14 55 17 16 80 16 right you're just saying numbers these are just numbers talk about specter instead what about skyfall said bond make it interesting to us well now reference bond where's omega and i don't know where that switch was i think it was in the 70s but in the early what's that i just very politely said nice but i guess i regret it eat your watch what's that i can't eat metal i want you to swallow the watch i want you to choke on and maybe die while you try to eat that way to tell somebody to go kill themselves i want you to suck on your swatch all right he's speeding we're speeding everyone's fine everyone's good we're doing video podcasts now so hopefully this turns out more than good so to the point where we actually get new listeners it'll be interesting

to see uh yeah hopefully we start going viral on that would be a dream yeah yeah let's start the show because i'm drunk in san franc Francisco And I don't drink At all I mean what a lovely sentiment Yeah Right? Marika you killed it on the sack Sure Drunk in San Francisco

And I don't drink at all. I mean, that's amazing to hear. Because at a certain point, we don't need substances. We need conversations of substance. And that's what today's gonna be. Nice. With us as always,

Marika Brownlee on the sacks, Johnny Villa on the facts. And making his HeadGum podcast debut, Grayson Wise of HeadGum fame. on the facts and making his head gum podcast debut grayson wise head gum fame grayson has covid i do i do have covid oh you guys knew he had covid yeah yeah oh obviously you did because you work in the new york office together i don't know why I thought that I was the only one who knew. I think Johnny didn't know. I saw on your Instagram story that you had a positive test and I just assumed the worst.

What's the worst beyond him being positive? That's just the reality. Yeah, I assumed the worst, which was the reality. All right. This is already off to a bad start. Thank you. Grayson, what are your symptoms? You look fine.

You look good. Thank you. I had a fever a few days ago, but I have pretty much no symptoms left. So at this point, just sitting in my room. And that's how many days since you tested? I'm on day six. I was basically symptom. i had symptoms for like six days yeah and then it was fine how's your sense of how long did you have to everybody how long

did you have to quarantine for yeah uh it's 10 days right until yeah and so you stopped getting positive tests uh well i didn't test every day obviously what I did do was waited 10 days and just did it like that. But on the ninth day, I got a test and it came back negative the next day. So technically, I could have been out at the bare minimum nine days, but probably a week would have been fine. So like tomorrow, you should probably just go get a test and see. Yeah. Because the CDC's recommendation is seven days with a negative test.

Yeah, I took a test yesterday. There was no chance it was going to come back negative yesterday. I don't know why I wasted my own time and money to do that. But well, isn't it also like you're bored as shit? That's the one thing you're sort of allowed to do is go get a test. Right. Yeah. I was like, as long as I am allowed to leave my house to go get a test, I may as well go to the grocery store, go get a cup of coffee. house to go get a test i may as well go to the grocery store go get a cup of coffee um i like that approach but i'm also like and i think johnny you you might be able to corroborate

this i'm sitting here in the past couple days since i learned that you were positive and i'm just thinking why won't you die i absolutely cannot corroborate that i don't know what in what world you thought i would corroborate it i don't know man i thought we were all having fun i thought it would be like a fun bit yeah that's not even a fun bit what's that it's not even a bit you just told him to die no i i i get it no that was good thank you yeah all we had to do was follow the damn train cj what is that from i don don't know. I do not know. I'm trying out some buttons that I randomly added to my soundboard. Everybody, everybody.

This is one of my favorites. I'm all started. I'm all started. Let's get it started. Let's get it started. Let's get it started in here. Amir was supposed to be on today's episode, and he quit because he, in air quotes, lost access to his microphone.

Yeah, still baffled by that. Yeah, and he expanded further and it was worse. What did he say? I didn't even see these messages. He said, I lost access. I lost control. It's all not today. That's not how I lost access. I lost control. It's all not today. That's not how I read it.

I read it as it's all not today. But you said it's all not today, which I think is way funnier. You're probably right, though. It was probably what you thought. Grayson, you're a HeadGum intern, but you've been with us for the better part of a decade, we should say. Long internship, hoping to get that official offer

I think any decade now. Marika, you host the show. This is such bullshit. I never know what to ask. You never know what you could prepare. What do you do at the company, just so people know I know what you do. But why don't you kind of introduce yourself.

Anything you want people to know. I'm a production intern. So I help do a lot of production related things. I run a lot of the social media things as well. I make graphics and other promotional items. Yeah. That's it, man. That's all I do. We should sync, speaking of claps.

We didn't do that because I thought, again, that there was going to be this big reveal like Grayson had COVID and the two of you already knew. Three, two, one. And then for my own reference, Johnny clapped twice and grayson was about 10 seconds too late um what uh so you're in new york you live in chelsea we should say yep address if i say it now can you will you bleep it out i won't but ferris will okay uh

wow yes wow do you guys all know where that is the hell was that saying wow i mean i kind of know that avenue which is really nice you kind of you barely know it and it's all just numeric I feel like it's not as dangerous to dox people who live in New York because you probably live in a building. People can't get to you. That's true, yeah. And I didn't give you my apartment number,

so at the very least, there's like 100 other people. And it also will be bleeped, but I don't know. If somebody doxed my address, I live in a house, so that's just instant access. Yeah, and you talk about how you live in the basement all the time so they definitely know which door yeah for you specifically a hundred percent a hundred percent and now we're doing these video episodes where like you guys will kind of figure out what the uh the overall setup of my room is to the point where you can tell that it's towards the back and yeah. Yeah, that's a good point.

I should figure out, I should make sure that my windows always look like this and not my street is invisible. Yeah. You're not going to trick us with this anymore, Jeff. Yeah. I'm wise to it. Grayson hasn't been on the

show. It always gets me. You've been told to knock it off. hasn't been on the show. It always gets me. I hit the button. You've been told to knock it off. Oh, that's really good. Um. What if, well, how was your weekend, Jeff? What did you do? You're not gonna answer.

What did you ask? I asked your weekend it was and what you did i actually had a really fun weekend and then i want to hear about your guys's uh friday i did nothing great but i really needed that because wednesday i went to an open mic night and was there for almost four hours and then thursday i went uh to my favorite dive bar and we they have three dollar Budweiser's in frosted mugs it's basically the Bernies of LA so went out a little bit too hard which is why we're recording this on a Monday usually we do it on fridays uh and so friday did nothing saturday uh what did i do on saturday saturday we recorded a really fun podcast with kylie brakeman and riley and then uh went over to riley's and we watched the new cinderella movie which i'd love to talk

to you about marika if you've seen it with camilla cabello why would i watch it because you like musicals and junk and junk yeah but i, but I wasn't going to give streaming views to that when there's other good musicals that are out also on that platform. Everybody's talking about Jamie, which everyone should watch. Major key alert. Support those who need support. Amazon Studios doesn't need your support. Camila Cabello doesn't need your support camila

cabello doesn't need your support they're gonna be just fine you know who needs your support is johnny villa why would i need i'm with that venmo all right i okay venmo yeah i changed the username uh at at jayville jayville i like corella deville yeah that's what i thought of too that sucks uh thanks and then sunday i went i i this makes me sound like i have a drinking problem but sunday i got day drunk in venice with george saba and our friends and then uh went to billy and finn's house um and hung out so three days of consistent drinking actually it was only two days separated by another two days so like relatively fine yeah yeah you're veering on the alcoholism territory but you're just shy of it i'll never have a problem with

alcohol because i hate it and i don't actually do it that often. You were like making beer three years ago. First of all it was four years ago. I was trying to not incriminate you. Three years also would have incriminated me. Grayson what did you do this weekend? I'm most curious about you. I did very little this weekend because

I was stuck in my room the whole time. Okay. I think I should pass and we should hear what Johnny did. Okay. No, but it is interesting what you did during your quarantine. I do want to hear. I really don't even know what to tell you. My parents thought it would be fun to ship me a putting mat,

but I store my clubs not in my apartment so I can't even get my putter so it's still in the box so when I asked you what you did this weekend and you said that you received I received a package which was the highlight honestly

but have you been watching shit? oh yeah good point Yeah. Yeah. Which was the highlight, honestly. But have you been watching shit? Oh, yeah. Good point. I started watching Reservation Dogs. Yeah. I also finished watching the second season of Dave. Yeah.

And I watched an entire season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Oh, my gosh. Are you caught up on Brooklyn Nine-Nine or starting it out? I just finished the final season. Nice. My roommate worked on the final season. Oh yeah? Johnny? Okay, so I actually did want to ask, have you guys been

watching The Impeachment? The television show. No. With Beanie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The one about Clinton. I have not. That Clinton guy? He's a bad apple. Honestly. Their whole family's awful.

Somebody should do something about him. Yeah, honestly. Somebody should kill a former president. I think that's what Grace Grayson just said. Unbelievably dangerous thing to say. I wonder if we can get him quoted as saying saying that so we can put that on the out of context head gum pod yeah grayson can you just say my name is grayson k wise and i think somebody needs to kill former president of the united states bill clinton

definitely don't do i have to say and it definitely will be posted do i have to say bill clinton yes yeah let's get that clean wild bill clinton yeah you definitely Do I have to say Bill Clinton? Yes. Let's get that clean. Wild Bill Clinton. You don't have to. You definitely don't have to. And to the TSA agent watching this Zoom, not TSA, what is it? CIA? CIA, FBI. Honestly, if I say that, probably all of them.

To the agents watching this Zoom right now, we're kidding, man. Relax. I don't have the capacity to even leave my basement let alone kill anyone what the hell is this what the fuck is this but guess who seems even more

low energy Marika yeah respiratory disease and you're fine to be that way. This is crazy. Okay. Well. Let's get another reset.

A reset? Yeah, just something to kind of get the energy going. I want to hear about Johnny's weekend. Oh, God. Why is it all train noises? It's like Jeff looks up loudest sounds and then puts them in it's louder and louder and louder

do you guys know Festival Express? no it was a documentary slash music tour with Janis Joplin the Grateful Dead and oh god who else was it? Don't just leave this dead end.

Buddy Guy. Buddy Guy. Who? Oh, and the Flying Burrito Brothers. And the band. Those are the ones that i was forgetting um anyway i really want to do this and everybody's gonna say that we shouldn't but it's um like a train tour basically they took a train from western canada to toronto

and then did a bunch of shows throughout i want to do that but for this podcast and live shows just this podcast oh and live all right the head gun podcast yeah it just seems like traveling on a train getting off doing a live show and then traveling on a train exactly so what do you mean so i think that's awesome yeah i'm in what do you do marie i don't why would you think that it's not hot like no one would want to do that it's just traveling to different destinations to do this show it's not like we're performing on the train every time i'm like oh we should do something with this show everybody's like no yeah because we're all busy i'll fucking put it together no but then i'm not allowed to put it together so it's never gonna happen

what's the opposite of express indirect great so this is the content you want to have the podcast indirect tour yes the festival indirect tour nice to have right and that's part of it yeah nice what'd you do this weekend it's taken seven minutes to get through this bullshit it's your fault no way you played a train a series of trains yeah you told us we needed to reset this is crazy okay we've gotten through half of our weekends so so say yours What do you mean? You say that and then you don't

say anything else. Are you kidding me? I'm waiting for Johnny to go and he started talking when you got mad. Chill out and drink your coffee. Relax for this episode, okay? You're drinking so many cold

brews you need to relax and just let can you can you hold up the cold brew to the camera all right okay all right we'll check in later yeah we will johnny your weekend so uh this past weekend i celebrated a birthday a 21st birthday of Gianna, another intern at HeadGum. We went to Atlantic Titty, as I call it. Don't. AKA Atlantic City. Just that. Yeah, so she wanted to hit the club.

Yeah, so she wanted to hit the club and I'm not much of a club goer, but I definitely had a lot of fun dancing and drinking a lot. I think I really like alcohol a lot. This is really it was a fun time. And afterwards, she said that she really wanted to go to the strip club with her, all her girlfriends and me and the other guy friend there. So we went and it was, I think strip clubs are only fun when you hang out with like girls who want to go to the strip club because the other guys at the strip club were just, it's just horrifying watching their blank faces throw money it's almost

the state of the world we're in right now come on guys johnny sent us a slack at 2 30 a.m that was a photo of him wearing a t-shirt and a pink sweater tied around his shoulders like he was in nantucket but it's fun to know that that was in Atlantic City. That's you at a strip club? The stripper did tell me like you need to take that sweater off. You need to cool off and relax but it completes the outfit.

I can't. Is that a nest thermostat in the background? 100% that's a nest at a strip club. Why do they need to control the temperatures so much? I think that makes

a lot of sense. Okay, you guys. My weekend, I had multiple birthday parties. One of them was for some reason a Zoom birthday party

that was 24 hours long. Sounds awful. My friends stayed up for 24, yeah. Stayed up for 24 hours and everyone could sign up for a section to entertain him. So that was weird.

And then I went to Nick Rad and Laura Lane's birthday party yesterday, which was fun. In Hudson or Brooklyn? In Brooklyn. For sure. For sure. Nice to see them. They had a paella party, which is highly recommend I guess for any sort of birthday gathering. It was pretty cool. Just the man made paella and on the roof and it was nice. Now a paella, what is that?

It's a Spanish rice dish and it's made in a giant pan. It's often has seafood in it, but there was a seafood version and a vegetarian version. It's really good. Highly recommend. Actually, we have to take a break. Sorry, I hit the wrong thing. We'll be right back. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right?

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first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com. What's that? Check it out. We're back. So bad. And the music again. Welcome to Go Off King. Do you guys know Joey King? No. Really? Yeah. Okay. do you guys know joey king no really yeah okay uh she was in the kissing booth on netflix okay the lead of the kissing booth oh she wishes um yes okay she wishes and she was okay

okay um okay so this is just uh basically i'm gonna list off a couple joey king quotes and then we're all gonna kind of like wax wax but also kind of like every time i list these quote we all have to say in unison go off king and then we'll wax okay

great does that make sense i know that you're like ill it makes sense okay okay uh i am such a big fan of batman go my thing with this is like it doesn't matter who like that joey king loves batman like batman's kind of beloved by many and so i don't understand yeah it's also like not that exciting of a character to love you're saying that you're not sure why actress wait the actor

Joey King sorry yeah this wasn't the character in the movie no no no no this has nothing to do these are real life quotes yeah all right that's all you guys have to say you even said it yourself you don't know why it was included so why don't we just move on

to the next thing alright I love Disneyland because the teacups are awesome but California Adventure is the best go off king I agree

teacups are fine so you don't agree because she said that they were awesome Go off, King. Go off, King. I agree. Teacups are fine. So you don't agree because she said that they were awesome. So you disagree. I was backpedaling my I agree to say, well, the teacups are fine. Yeah. But I agree that California Adventure is good. I think people are going to hate this episode of the podcast, but I'm having a lot of fun. Why would you interrupt us and say that?

Grayson, I feel like you haven't chimed in on Joey King. I was going to say, I agree. I think the teacups are awesome. So that, I was just, yeah. Just a strong agree from me. Have you guys been to Disneyland recently? Or an amusement park recently

I do want to go to Six Flags not in years I went to Six Flags two weekends ago did you ride the Kingda Ka holy shit I did

of course oh my god in the dark in the dark that's insane how it was like the first week of Fright Fest

and I really did not want to be there for Fright Fest because I don't like scary stuff but people weren't really like jumping out at you so we stayed until like 10 and we were waiting in line for King of the Cops. They kept their distance when they jumped out?

And by that time it was dark. They keep their distance from you? Like six feet away? Honestly, no, which I didn't like but they were like, the few people that i saw getting chased by like they were i don't know there was like people in costumes that would just like sit next to someone on like a bench and freak them out and then they'd like get up and run away

i saw some girls like provoking a man that was carrying a giant axe and he ended up chasing them it wasn't even a part of the thing I did not get bothered which was nice I was just saying major key alert know when to self edit yeah you should alright I love my house I love my family

I love my animals go off king I wasn't sure we were still playing for a second I thought you were just talking oh this just happened this is part of the course for Jeffrey interrupting an interesting conversation I don't know how interesting it was

it was niche theme park talk in relation to Newport Township New Jersey not where it is I don't believe there's a ton of six flags across the country so check yourself uh animals are fine

and good that's great love that for Joey King I'm pretty indifferent to the friends and family thing but animals I really like do we have any information on which can you repeat that quote again it's i love my house i love my family i love my animals and we don't know what i love should we what animals

this is what you want to do otherwise you know what does joey king have there's a long ass Google search nothing came out of course it was way too long way too specific way too specific

sometimes I just want to work whether it's on location here in Michigan or back in LA I just want to work work work

it's what I want to do with the rest of my life so yes I go a little crazy when I'm not working. Go off, King. I feel like that's an unhealthy work-life balance. So I can't condone. Yeah, I disagree with that.

And I wish you guys were less concerned about Joey King because she's just fine. And how would you know this? How do you know? I just think that she seems to be having a lot of material success, which usually equates with emotional success. Yeah, happiness, joy. Interesting.

Joy, because happiness is sweet and joy is lasting. Jeffrey, I want to ask you something. Do you think that this deserves to be a video podcast right now? No, and it's not my idea to do the video podcast i think we should wait till we're in the studio but we don't have a studio because marty hasn't ordered any of the necessary materials and i'm absolutely gonna put him on blast for that it's his fault and his fault alone 100 it would be more valuable if we had a studio how would we record this episode with the studio? Because we're all in New York.

Well, I wouldn't have to do it with you guys in New York. That's the beauty of the studio is that I'd be able to force people in LA to do it in person. Amir would have been on this episode. He would have been on this episode because they wouldn't lost access to his microphones. No, the microphones are set. They're attached to a table. You're just like harassing Sam and Angie constantly. Absolutely. To record a podcast

in the middle of their work day. You guys know how hard it was to get them on the show and now they're not going to have a choice because they're going to have to look me in the eyes and say no to my face which is hard. I'm sure they still will. It's not going to be hard. I don't know how hard it is for them. Shit. What about Danny? Danny would do it.

But I think you know you got to catch him when he's not super busy because he's a busy man well we have two more quotes so let's rapid fire do this I'm part Jewish and part Christian but mostly Jewish go off king it's very different working with all adults I have a swear jar come on it's just a joke man

it's very different working with all adults I have a swear jar so that if they have a potty mouth i make them pay that's what it's like being on set with adults go off go off when was that what movie was it for that was for the kissing booth which is weird because she was like 22 when she recorded recorded Recorded. Filmed it. Interesting. Okay. Thank God there's another segment. Yeah. Another long song.

Yeah, the long song. And you think it ends here, but it doesn't. Mm-mm. I do like this song a lot Grayson how's your love life Grayson how's your love life I said sorry how is your sex life? Sorry? How is your sex life? That is not what you asked. You asked love life

three times. And still no answer. What was it? No, I mean, can you ask a more probing question or something? That one's just a little surface level. Oh, okay.

When was the last time either you were in another or they were in you? That's very interesting. Let's go with the latter. I'm just going to take this opportunity to tell my mom, who I know is going to listen to this episode, to stop listening to this episode. Sure, sure. And I'm going to say it was, let's listening to this episode sure sure and i'm

gonna say it was uh let's see how long have i been in quarantine holy shit so 23 years it was right before quarantine i it was why it was why i think i'm now in quarantine wow that's incredible yeah that's such a that's so much cooler of a reason to have gotten the delta variant i got it because i went to the cheesecake factory um all right welcome to fall or nah the fall soul have we played this before what's that have we played this before we might have maybe autumn or not would have been better but listen the fall solstice was two days ago when you guys are hearing this two days from now when we're recording let me finish johnny so i thought we could talk about

some things that are either autumnal or nah right right yeah all right pumpkin spice lattes drinking them etc they're autumnal for sure i i the i we must have discussed this already because the i think we did twitter account tagged me in a quote of me saying that i drink pumpkin spice lattes and i was like i mean i do but i don't remember saying that at all I think we did this exact segment a year ago and I'm just realizing it okay great

that was easy yeah there it is all right we should still do it though what about telling someone they shouldn't pursue music when they're actually kind of talented nah really yeah that's more right because i think that could yeah that could be any season it's definitely a good thing to do but it's not necessarily strictly autumnal why do you think it's more of a summer thing johnny

grayson said oh grayson johnny why do you think though yeah i know that grayson said it but johnny why do you think i think summer is like the best time because like uh there's the heat in the air everyone's kind of just like beaten down by that and I think what better way to break someone's spirit and what better time to break someone's spirit than

summer time Johnny Villa on summer there's the heat in the air there's something there alright what about apple picking autumnal yeah I mean I can't picture myself

picking apples in the summer nor the spring time not even the winter time at all what about ordering dessert Not even the winter time at all. What about ordering dessert when your friend is trying to avoid sugar and eating it in front of them? That feels more like a winter activity. Yeah. Really?

Yeah, like right after January. Holy shit. Right after January. Word of the week. Absolute word of the week absolute word of the week alright so what was it after it was after wow do I get money

yeah I'm sending you a fucking thou sorry sweet no take your time grayson uh what would you have done with the thousand dollars do you think if i had gotten the word of the week yeah yeah just reinvested uh probably in in in a local community but not in my local community if that makes sense oh yeah it's like a community like topeka kansas maybe definitely not topeka kansas specifically oh you know what it would be a good segment topeka kansas versus topanga canyon okay so you're gonna interrupt our conversation one

with this strange, strange game title. But you know what? Go off. I want to ask a question, but I don't want him to go into it. So what's the next autumn thing? Everybody. Celebrating Oktoberfest. Autumn.

Autumnal. Okay. What about celebrating Oktoberfest autumn autumnal okay what about celebrating oktoberfest in february why i will eat your ass what about going to a pumpkin patch no that's not autumnal? I don't think so. Expand. I think it's it's become so it's played out to do it in

actual autumn. Okay. To such an extent that you do it in the spring now. I don't think so. It's like you have to subvert

expectations. Okay. You know how people shop outside of season to get better deals on clothes? Yeah. I think it's the same with gourds. It's the exact same.

Rubbing his chin like he's postulating the next big thing. That was nothing. I know you think that, but that doesn't mean much alright what about applying a nicotine patch to your significant other while they sleep and then taking it off

before they wake for weeks at a time so that they sort of develop a habit to you right subconsciously a habit to sleeping next to you I meant more to the nicotine oh the question though is whether that's good or bad let's not

try and ethicize it if that's a word oh number crunch you want a number crunch on what it's not a terminal I can tell you that right now okay Jeffrey you have anything to say about that about her answer

or are you just gonna sit there I thought you guys were having a good time I didn't want to step on your toes if you want my thoughts I can give you them there was dead silence for the better part of five seconds. It feels like an eternity in a podcast. All right, what about fine? What about getting lost in a corn maze? I don't think that has to be autumnal.

Okay. Suing a veteran? Oh, that's like an all year round thing. Yeah, that's what I thought. yeah uh what about seeing the leaves change into color by definition autumnal what about texting no because they could change to being on the ground and now now we're getting into they could change to sprouting which is the spring

so don't just disqualify what I say immediately think about it for just a quick second you shouldn't be able to you said that you wanted to make people sleep with you sleep next to you next to you which is weirder almost

by forcing some kind of chemical dependence what about texting your ex poison your ex poison like a poison you had something with or texting your ex texting your ex poison because that girl is poison. I've been in a lot of codependent relationships, Grayson. What about drinking a mulled cider? So we didn't get the chance to say. I'll say autumnal. The last one was autumnal, which it isn't, by the way. That's all we needed then. Drinking mulled cider.

This is so boring. Whose fault is that? You haven't responded to the mulled cider thing. She did. I did. I was the only person in the first to respond. Fine. What about drinking a drink that you fished out of your ex's garbage

just to taste their lips once more? Nah. I was going to say, I once more. Nah. Yeah, I was going to say, I think so. Cool. Hell yeah! Yeah! I also really like this.

Yeah, it's good. We made it through another episode of this shit. Barely. We're hanging by a thread right now And to think there are people still listening to this Yeah I salute them They're probably braver than I would ever be The true heroes i mean we're only at 42 fucking minutes so i don't know like you guys

want to keep trying to fill time or do you want to just do plugs and get out of here it's up to you guys because it's a monday i know you all have real work to do uh real quick jeff do you mind if i if i uh produce a segment really fast? Oh, my God, yeah. One that you introduced earlier. It's Topeka, Kansas or Topanga Canyon. I only have one question. That's a good one. Only one question.

You guys hated it when I said it. Don't interrupt Grayson, please. Yeah, I'm sorry. Let me take it from the top because you just really threw off my entire rhythm. Jesus Christ. Do you want to hit him with a sound effect? Yeah. Start it off. Yeah, that'd be great. Jeff, do it. my entire rhythm. Jesus Christ. Do you want to hit him with a sound effect? Yeah. Start it off?

Yeah, that'd be great. Jeff, do it. The sound effect. EA Sports. It's in the game. And the game that it's in is Topeka, Kansas or Topanga Canyon. So we have one question. Winner take all.

No, I love the segment. I just thought. Above 1,000 feet of elevation. Topeka, Kansas? Topanga Canyon, obviously. Probably Topanga Canyon. 100% Topanga. Oh my God.

I'm going to go Topanga, Kansas. Topanga in the Tongvan language means where the mountains meet the sea. So it's 100% Topanga. Because also over 1,000 is not that much. Okay, but where the mountains meet the sea would be at sea level. Yes but that is not where Topanga lies in general.

You're trying to get me to be wrong because the answer is Topanga Canyon. The answer is Topanga Canyon. Oh man that was great. Yeah that was so much fun. You know Topanga Kansas though 945 feet of elevation, so closer than it could have been.

That was really interesting. So is that the end of the game? That was it. I had one question. But it was so much fun, that one question. I really thought we were shitting on Jeff pretty hard, but it's a lot harder to come up with those games than you think. Sorry, I don't know if you could hear that. We couldn't, by the way.

Feel free to repeat it. A plane went right by outside. But yeah, it's a lot harder to come up with those games than you think. So props to Jeff. Nah, I mean, like, the fact that you... You did it during another conversation, which I think in itself is really impressive. And it was as good, if not better, than the other segments.

So I really applaud you. This is not... This isn't good podcasting. What do you mean? What would make it better? A mirror. That's the problem. This isn't good podcasting. What do you mean? What would make it better? A mirror. That's the problem.

We shouldn't have to use a mirror as a crutch. That's what I'm saying. All right. What are you going to do about it? What should we do? No, I'm saying, no. What I'm saying is that I outlined what I thought was a pretty good episode, and we only got 45 minutes out of it. But guess what?

If a mirror had been on it we would have been at an hour five because he you interrupted conversations that we were having that could have extended the time i don't think that that's fair to put on me because my whole thing is that the way that or is that your soundboard that's my soundboard right just let it pass what i was gonna say okay is that the episodes are often longer when amir is on because he elongates conversation by interrupting me and poking holes in this shit. And, oh my god.

Another plane. It's weird because I'm in a flyover area, but I'm not really hearing planes on my end. That's crazy. So this is your idea of elongating conversations. Just letting a plane fly what i'm saying is that when amir comes on the episodes are often longer because he kind of pokes holes in my outlines and stuff oh my god this is crazy remember in the old comedy bang bang episodes where they used to sing take in a plane break

when a plane would fly over the studio? I thought it was take in a plane downtown flying fast in my mask and I'm homebound. That was good. No, but when Amir comes on sometimes. You know what? We have to talk over the plane. No, you called for planes

because we're not going to be able to be heard by the... There's no way air traffic is letting these many planes fly so close to each other. Jeff pulls back his curtain. He's at the airport. No, but I like having a mirror. Yeah.

You like having a mirror on because you said it multiple times. It's not true because like at the beginning of the show you know he would leave um 15 minutes before the show would end yeah and that was like a pretty long running bit that went on for i'd say like a few months so i don't think we should say that a mirror is the reason that the show's longer yeah um yeah i thought we got enough mileage out of the whole plane thing. Mileage? Yeah, what are you talking about? It was basically as good as dead air just sitting there for our listeners.

I like saying as good as something that's bad. I mean, Sling was as good as another horrible album sling by who what album clero oh the eye roll that's such a dramatic eye roll from johnny everybody plugs what do you guys have going on what do you want to point the people to let's start with grace and go and don't say covid wait I've never been on a podcast can I go last so I can see how this works you've heard

podcasts you know I plug no insane fine Johnny what do you have you always have some crazy project that's in the pipeline I'm opening my own strip club very, very soon. Johnny's girls. No guys allowed.

No. Sounds insanely binary. Yeah, follow me on Instagram at JohnnyV, J-O-H-N-N-Y-V-I-I. I post a lot of pictures on my story they're not memes Johnny loves a good meme they're real life

this is some real life shit I'm posting not really I really like the Instagram name Cruella J-Ville Cruella J-Ville maybe that's your finsta although your normal insta is sort of a Finsta. Cause I don't care anymore.

I've lost all hope for humanity. Um, but yeah, follow me on Instagram and yeah, that's it for now. I'm working on stuff, but thank God. Marika.

Um, follow me on Twitter and instagram at marika elan and two exciting announcements number one no way podcast no way stewing holy shit a live show no fucking way on my birthday so if you don't come uh you hate me birthday so if you don't come uh you hate me october 22nd or 23rd head gum podcast sorry yeah do that again the whole thing run that are you gonna run that back why did you stop you said wait i thought i didn't say no one said wait i just said the 22nd to clarify awful tickets are available

now when this episode hey gum podcast october 22nd fr Friday night. Gramercy Theater, New York City. Ooh, nice. Yeah. That was easy. Listen, it's going to be unbelievable. We're going to have a rotunda almost. It's more of a theater. But a big open room where comedy will happen live.

It'll also happen live because we're all going to stretch. I think everybody at the network on the show we want to do, potentially. We haven't decided that. It depends on who wants to fly to New York. But yeah, it will be a lot of people, hopefully. Yep. And in addition,

there's also going to be a NADDPod show on that night. There will be the Doughboys. There will be High and Mighty. So you should buy tickets to all of the shows and come hang out. It'll be fun. When are we actually announcing? It's our first live show. Because today's Monday.

On Wednesday. And the tickets go live to when this comes out. They will be live. Amazing. So please come. And also there's a new Hot Gum podcast called A Good Cry hosted by Michael Cruz-Cain

that is dropping 9.30 which will be really good. Michael's super funny and I think the first guest is Stephen Colbert so that's cool. That's insane. Does he write for Colbert? Yeah, yeah. He was on the Emmy stage last night when Colbert won.

Whoa. That's just incredible. Yeah, so listen to that. It will be really good. Hell yeah. Grayson? Yeah, I'm going to plug just following Johnny and Mariko on whatever they said.

I know Johnny's is uh johnny vii yeah i feel i just feel like johnny needs the help so i want to just use my plug time to that's nice namaste that's really nice namaste johnny does need the help just in general everyone here should kind of take note of what grayson just did because what he did was not only selfless but it was also self-care because now he gets to go about his day feeling good about himself and i think that that's all we kind of strive for on a daily basis on the day to to do to hear to do orally a u r a l l y oh god that was awful that was so bad. So bad. Oh my goodness. My plug is follow Grayson on Instagram

at GraysonKYs. Hell yeah. Right? No. Is it not? Oh, GrayKYs. Honestly, if there's a GraysonKYs, follow him too.

Yes. You should do GrayKR Rowling. That was good. That was good. I'm not going to lie. My therapist was out of town for so many weeks.

I've been playing catch up the past two sessions to the point where it's spilling into my other. You know what I mean? Like you hit a fucking wall at a certain point. So it really spilled out.

There's only so much time. It really spilled out during the Grey K Rowling bit, right? Yeah, that's what I mean like you hit a fucking wall at a certain point, so it really spilled out There's only so much time out during the gray cave Rowling bit, right? Because my whole thing with that is like she's not okay, sorry hang on Is it gone it's almost I just you have to wait for it to completely go because I want Ferris to be able to edit this. Okay, okay. Anyway, yeah. HeadGum Podcast live, October 22nd. Get your tickets.

A lot of fun things that Marika and I have already been planning for it. So hopefully all of it comes to fruition or not. But until then, we'll see you guys again next Friday. Thanks for listening to this episode of the HeadGum Podcast. And until then, that's Dallas, folks. This whole show is becoming a chore to do. That was a Hiddem Original.