The Headgum Podcast - 76: Widaho (w/ Fallon Boles!)

Episode Date: November 12, 2021

Comedian Fallon Boles (UCB, TikTok) joins Amir, Dane, and Geoff to discuss the USC fight song, United States nomenclature, and crashing ceramics.  Check out the new Headgum podcast, XOXO, Gossip Kings! BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Sorry, Jeff. You're mad, you're angry, you're concentrating, you look fucking evil. You look incensed. All I can see is your forehead, your eyebrows, and I guess the tops of your eyes. That is an evil look. What? Kind of demented. Who gives

a shit about any of this? The investing in cards, the fucking buying basketball packs, the fucking John George being in Boston. Hell, I don't give a shit about anything I've said so far.

This is bad content for the listener's ears. Yeah, I thought it was interesting. Let's just, Ferris, put a sax point in here somewhere. Let's regroup and start not the podcast over, but at least re-up

the energy. Okay. There you go fallon have you heard this show ever other than the live show oh yeah okay cool you can call me daddy What was that? That was my friend's song Internet boyfriend You can call me daddy?

It's um You can call me daddy You can call me bitch Call me what you like Jeff have you ever been called daddy in the bedroom I'll plead the fifth on any sex questions that I'm fielding F E E L D shout out to those who know listen let's talk about who we've got on the show today because we've got the return of the prodigal son

and a new guest first ever time on the airwaves for this show give it up for Dane Cardell and Fallon Bowles is it Cardiel or Cardell I've only said it once yeah you kind of fucked that up it's a cardiel

fuck um dane podcast acquisitions manager right a little bit above that but I'm getting no help from Amir here uh yeah you don't deserve help and so I'm sort of leaving you at sea without a raft god fucking damn it and then Fallon you and I did improv together in college yes we did

oh good old second nature yes you can call her daddy second nature um yeah we back in the day at uh usc you got the fight song on uh on the sound that would be really good i don't know it by heart here we go should we try and see if we can do it how the hell does he know it? That might be UCLA's. I only know one. It's absolute brainwashing.

Dane, get in there. Was this it? I think this is like the prequel. Okay. Oh, this was it. Oh, yeah. This is it. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway. That sounds more familiar. Yeah. UCB fame sounds more familiar. Yeah. UCB fame, TikTok fame. Anything else you want to plug up top? Plugging the TikTok, plugging a member of Young Douglas,

which was a UCB team, RIP, rest in peace. She's gone. But we're still alive. So we're still around. And that's all my plugs. Assistant extraordinaire. But TikTok mainly, yeah. That's my claim to fame.

Oh, yeah. And then, Dane, you were mentioning you went to a mushroom festival or something. Yeah, we do all the boutique little upstate New York little wool festivals, mushroom festivals. Festivals. Nice. Antique festivals. Yeah.

That's good. How many weekends would you say you're at a festival? It's usually every weekend during the summer. I actually got a taxidermy scorpion at the last festival. Jesus Christ. How much does that run right it was it was a solid 150 it was up there can we see it do you have it yeah scorpions are my biggest tangible fear in this world have we talked about this on the show oh no way man That sucks to see for me in a frame.

So what is it filled with when they say taxidermy? Well, I don't know. I'm using that word very loosely. But it's a real scorpion. And it's preserved. Yeah. It's shadow boxed nicely. It's filled with preserves.

Yeah. And like gobble up beside it? No, not anymore. You already used that last week it sucked and it was over really apparently it means when are you coming home in hindu okay that's fair then i'll allow it yeah um for for halloween we bought a um a taxidermy bat secondhand on ebay this is now a hobby then you you like you like critters things that go bump in the night it took my dog 24 hours to eat that thing whole he ate a taxidermied bat whole whole and wait isn't that sharp and deadly like how do yeah there are there are a lot of bad things that that come from it but uh

my dog's stomach is iron did you know how did you were you there for any of it like that seems like it would take him hours to chew through it he was goading him one more bite scamp is it a big dog like that sounds very painful it's like so you know there's just like little bits of things that could be wrong with that you know but you observe you know is it panting is it sort of keeling over? Anyway. So you just couldn't find it? And then you were like, oh no, I think the dog ate it? Or you saw him chewing on the head as a finishing touch? No, no. It was just literally nowhere to be found.

So not even the teeth or the feet or anything. How can a dog eat a fucking bat and be fine? That seems not right. you're really fixating on this bat story i think dean was just trying to say something interesting and now you're like doubling down it's a cross i'm curious yeah fun out of it yeah how big is the bat that he ate it do you think you have pictures it's pretty big it's like 7 inches maybe 6 inches so you think he chewed through it slowly like a bone no probably like 2 bites 3 bites

swallow oh like it was almost like a thin cracker damn Daniel anyway anyone have fun stories about that Fallon jump in this sucks I do actually have a fun stories about about that fallon jump in this okay i do actually have a good dog eating story i will say not as good as eating about whole but um i have a phobia of gum

chewing gum because when i was young i found my irish terrier just chewing on a piece of gum casually in my kitchen and i you know in my mind i was like that's not what the dog should be doing um but she went through a period of time where she would take gum out of the trash can and just chew on it and that led to a phobia in you yeah now i can't chew gum because no way it's for dogs gum is for dogs is probably going to end up on the out of context twitter account i hope so wow what a wild ride this is crazy new soundboard baby oh we do have a good one you guys's energy is sour fallon's the only one smiling out of joy. Dane is smiling out of contempt,

and Amir isn't vacant today. So half of, like, your energy is bad, but one of your guests is good, and the other one is fine. That seems like pretty good, normal, decent average for this show. All right, we have some segments to get to, but I thought we could sort of wax until then. I love it.

Yeah. What's new in New York, Dane and Fallon? Different parts of New York, but... Oh, sorry. Hmm. We definitely don't have those guys. Not in New York. Not in New York.

Not here. Because of 9-11, you can't fly over the city. It's over. we definitely don't have those guys not New York not here because of 9-11 you can't fly over the city it's over it's been done Ferris cut that out in the mirror tread lightly obviously what the fuck I finalized before this I had a call

to finalize that I'm coming to New York for three months can we play that homecoming sound that you have? Not that one. No. Yeah. Ferris Cup. Believe this out, but I'm literally

going to be like two blocks from you. Wait, you're my neighbor. Please cut this out. You're a block, two blocks away from me yeah we can meet up at nudes and chill every day yes that is what we examined that there's a place called nudes and chill on the episode that came out today wait what's what's nudes and chill about like what's the vibe it's like pho right it's like b-y-o-b-o get your pho sit outside noodles no bathroom noodles no bathroom no bathroom a little scary but hey it's new york it's a classic it's manhattan it's absolutely manhattan it's not it's brooklyn it's brooklyn that shouldn't have changed the mood.

You were wrong. I was just correcting you. You also specified Manhattan. You could have just said New York. You would have been wrong, but nobody would have known. It's no Weehawken. Yeah, it's not New Jersey. That's true. That's true. So it's Manhattan.

No, not everything that's not we hawking is manhattan yeah you're we're not on the same page so don't like agree with me no 100 or not yeah 100 there's a disconnect that i can't help but remedy for the next 30 minutes yes not remedy but yes there is a disconnect yes we'll fix it we'll fix it probably not dane have you all thought about a couple's therapy me and amir for like friends yeah it's hard i was thinking about this the other day that's no foundation yeah that's for people who want to even get a lot like i i like the fact that we're not good like that. I don't want to be boys with him. That would make me poison to him. To him, yeah.

Yeah. And I don't want to be close with you. I want to be Glenn Close's phew. You know what I mean? Where it's like, oh, thank God Jeffrey's here so I know somebody. I'm thinking about doing a studio in New york yeah i think you have to yeah it's nice to be able to go go down go to some house parties birthday parties a couple of events here and there it's nice i miss it you live in a house you guys sort of asked the same question do you have a house in kingston and do you want a pier

to tear oh i don't know what that means i'm laughing but i don't know what it means that's a good uh soundbite you should keep that jeff for later full steam ahead um did you guys see this new york times article uh talking about how 37 year olds are afraid of the 23 year olds who work for them yes yes i also saw the twitter spaces audio room that you hosted about it it seemed like you hadn't read it by the way i wanted to continue the discussion from the space in on in terms of the this idea of older millennials having some sort of chasm between them and older gen z gen zers who are now entering the workforce and sort of what

does that divide mean for companies such as iHeartRadio, HeadGum Podcast Network, etc. And we should say I have not read the article still. But let's get into it. Well, it's not. Because none of us have read it,

I think, at this point. So we have nothing to discuss. Chad, you haven't read it? Sadly, no. But it's definitely something that's been on my mind. Yes. Because you're 26? Yeah, I did that out of... It's not old.

I'm 36. I'm 26, yes. 36 absolutely makes it sound way older. You said 36? Is that young millennial technically? Yeah, we're on the cusp. 95 and 96 are millennial Gen Z cusp. I get some of this, some stuff.

But the fact that I said I get some stuff is making it obvious that I said I get some stuff making it obvious that how I'm older well you're on TikTok so that's that's a point in your favor thank you so much Amir is also on TikTok but point against you

against I don't know who to choose this is like Sophie's choice well then you offer an interesting sorry one second Amir no I'm not even gonna give you a second

in the twitter space slash sphere we had at one point Marty Michael my 37 year old boss and me 23 and then we had other people that were my age and some other people that were kind of his age. Fallon, you offer and represent this unique perspective

of someone who lies in the in-between, the days between, as they say. As they say. What has your experience been in the workplace since you graduated in terms of dealing with these geezers these millennial crusty asses except for dame dame is a beautiful man mostly amir i don't feel any older than like you. So it's not like I'm insulted in a way. We're all just hanging out, having a good time.

A crusty geezer. No, that's not how I feel internally. So you can answer the question, but just know that you're not insulting me. Well, thank goodness. Well, my boss will definitely listen so let me tell you you're not an ancient geezer thank you i needed to hear that she was talking to her boss but yeah for sure for sure yeah to uh to charlie um no she uh you know it's been a lot of let me show you this meme um it's been a lot of let me explain this meme to you um it's been a lot of how funny is this instagram real i'm like

your day is behind you know we went through that already um but yeah it's been a lot of hijinks, pranks. As an assistant, I do a lot of pranks. That's cool. Pretty fun. Pretty great. Hiding is a lot of it. Yeah. Hiding, you go to work and you hide at work? Or hiding meaning you just don't show up to work?

No. Hiding outside in the bushes. Right. That's what I was worried about. No, going to work, doing the work, of course. Right. Always doing the work. We're all doing the work.

We're all doing the work. We're here doing the work. But there was a moment in time where I would hide out and play Mario Kart mobile version on my phone. Whoa. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Highly recommend. And you said your boss is going to listen to this?

She's going to. I think she already knows. This was a few years ago, a few years back. But it's been fun. I definitely don't seem threatening, though. I think the interns are more threatening than I. Right. Because that's

that Gen Z wave, man. I mean, I feel the same are more threatening than I. Right. Because that's that Gen Z wave, man. I mean, I feel the same exactly with Gianna. It sounds like you're more millennial, I would say, Fallon. I resonate with that. My first media job, 15 bucks an hour. I would take an hour nap break in the fashion closet every day. What company is this? This is Condé Nast.

Right. Condé Nast. Condé freaking Nast. Did you ever get Condé Nasty in the office? Just wondering in terms of... No. Let's start the show. I think the waxing thing didn't go quite according to your plan.

The Conde Nastie thing was sort of the nadir of the entire event. So why don't we call it? Yeah, that's good. Welcome to Bond of the Week. Every week until the next James Bond is cast, we're going to offer up who our Bonds of the fucking week. Every week until the next James Bond is cast, we're going to offer up who our Bonds of the week are. Dane, do you have a Bond of the week? Have we said Harry Styles yet?

That's really good. The question is, is Styles bigger than Bond already? No, I don't think he is actually I think the the I think bond is bigger yeah I get that and that was like you guys all took like a pregnant pause there let's try to avoid those because we can't really edit the show

Dan you came in at the absolute last second and you saved it but if anybody had waited one more beat we would have had to start the whole fucking thing over again so let's just kind of be conscious of that Harry Styles lives at he lives it seems like a pretty crowded street yeah um it's an unbelievably not private house i don't understand why they live there do you guys have any bonds of the week so oh dane you offered up Harry Styles. I think that's an amazing choice. Fallon, Amir. Because my pick is Robespierre. Who?

Who? Robespierre. He's a dead French revolutionary, isn't he? Yes, I was going to say. He's sort of a radical French revolutionist who... He has that killer instinct, I think. Died 200 years ago. Okay, well, you know what?

Everybody keeps telling me that Bond doesn't have to be British. And so I'm like, let's open it up to fucking anything then dead or alive Robespierre cause he has that killer instinct and he values virtue over evil yeah he died in 1794 so yeah

I just think he would rock the suit he doesn't know what movies are. There's no way he could act. He's French, but he doesn't speak English. And again, he's been dead for over two centuries.

Lots of hurdles. I think let's just keep him on the selects for now and we'll do like a round of callbacks. So it'll be Harry Styles. He's not in the mix. Robespear. He's not worth giving a chemistry read to. I think it is. He's gone. Fine. Who's your bond of the week?

Aaron Rodgers. Star quarterback who's been sort of taking it to the woke liberal elite today for calling him out for not getting vaccinated and he's sort of the hero we deserve to sort of

do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do and he has a don't laugh like that it's not funny it's the worst chuckle to hear it's a hard it's a yeah a hard sort of a tight grip and a really nice spiral that's not anything that james bond needs you can yeah you can wear a super bowl ring during. Aaron Rodgers has a good glance. I think that's important.

Good glance. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And he's dating Shailene Woodley. He is. Which is a real bummer. Do you know something we don't know?

I don't know. But I imagine this is probably problematic for their relationship. This kind of news. Do you want to be associated with this guy? I don't. Maybe she likes it. Maybe she's like that too. Could be.

I mean, isn't Jennifer Lawrence. Was she a part of the Bernie campaign though? Yeah. Was she? It's a weird fit. Yeah. Yeah. I don't get it. But I think she's anti-vax as well.

Not to start rumors here. Oh, really? She does support Bernie. Well, Aaron said that he's not anti-vax today, so. It's so much dumber when people are not vaccinated, but they're like, well, I'm not anti-vax. So then you're a fucking idiot. Okay, well, tread lightly,

because this is the next Bond, potentially. You don't want to lose favor with james jeffrey james bond besides you i think um adele but that was before i knew you didn't have to be british yeah yeah adele adele would be good and she's already done the song so she's kind of in the verse yeah fantastic pick james bond extended cinematic universe in fleming oh she'd be so good she'd be amazing uh we do have to move on to our next segment are you guys ready yeah i think yep we exhausted the uh bond options yeah We do have to take a break. Jesus, man. Do it before the theme. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it before the theme. focused, ready to take on the day like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes

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Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that again that's drinkag1.com slash what's that check it out here we go uh welcome to fallon bowls or falling bowls oh okay the name of the game is fallon bowls or falling bowls here here we go do you guys know how to play have you guys played this before we've played similar games that you've invented but not specifically this one okay so I'm gonna play the sound

of something that's either Fallen or a bowl I'm ready Fallon or a bowl. I'm ready. This is for actual cash, by the way. $100 for every right answer. $100 owed to me for every wrong answer. Winner takes all. Winner takes all. I don't want to have to Venmo you back.

Correct! Dane is correct with bowl. That was a bowl falling off of a kitchen table. All right, here we go. When I want to feel like bimbo Baggins, I take a dump at Sunday in Brooklyn. This bathroom is the shire. Look at that stone sink.

Wood, glass, pebbles, rustic. I don't want to Venmo you but it's a ball that was you obviously now you have to Venmo me now you owe me $100

alright sending it now you're just sending it to D dane at this point here we go you guys ready for the next one this is crazy yeah if you haven't gone to the bathroom and mr fong's you're literally no one this bathroom is iconic it's got running water it's got paper towels yum yum it's gotta be Fallon correct Amir is tied with Dane both at 100 here we go next one Jesus man bowl correct Dane's cleaning house all right can I guess before the sound clip I'm gonna go with bowl again

that puts you back at 100 I'm sorry you're tied with Amir it was gonna be Fallon so I guess yeah here we go last one no this is the next one Last one. No, this is the next one. I'm going to say bowl. Correct!

All right, you guys all got $100. Actually, Fallon, you broke even, and Dan and Amir, you got $100. So we're going to have to do a... I guess this is a winner takes all round. This is all off the top. Here we go. Wasn't prepared for this. If you're not having the spookiest peep of your life,

go home and cry about it. Spief? Wait, did you say beef? That's going to be wrong. Amir, you're going home with a hundred clams, man. What's funny? I'm sorry, but what's funny? I'm not gonna send you

the cash back for that. Don't send it to me. Because I'm gonna keep it if you send me $100. This is so fucked up. No, it's not really. What a game. What a game. Oh, it's official are you guys ready for it?

yeah we'll get into our next segment in a second this one's gonna be a lot of fun this is very open to your guys' creative minds all of which I respect to varying degrees second this one's gonna be a lot of fun this is very open to your guys's creative minds and i all of which i respect to varying degrees um so we'll get into it actually let's let's let's see what this might hold welcome to name that state welcome to name that absolute state so this is the continental states the 48 uh continental states um a lot i'm gonna be really good at this i think i know them all

okay that's actually not what the game is okay i don't know why i thought so because you said it was named that state the correct the name of the game is named that state the idea is that a lot of these names that we have currently yeah they're not quite cutting it for me i said you want us to rename that state sure so like what not sure that's the name of the game is renamed the state you're not doing me a favor if this is how it's gonna be let's end the show right now obviously let's end it right now sure implies like you're letting it slide for me I am

because you thought it was name every state instead it's let's rename the states right right yes right yes right yeah exactly like what if Idaho was Instead, it's let's rename the states. Right. Right. Yes. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Like what if Idaho was Wido? Sure.

That's an example of a state being slightly different. I like that one because it's really not wild. Mousing. Mousing over it. All right. So basically what I'm going to do is I'm going to shout. I'm going to point to a state and shout out one of your guys' names. You guys are going to just give it the first name that it comes off your thing.

We'll kind of keep going until we kind of fill out the map here. Here we go. Idaho's going to stick, so I'm not going to point there. Fallon. Mm-hmm. New name for Indiana. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Catholic. Catholic. So it would be Indianapolis Catholic? Yeah. All right. You going to write it down, or are we just going to sort of just mouse over it? We'll remember it.

There's only 48. I'm pointing to Tennessee, and let's see what Dane has. This is insane should be so much faster than this 10 a B that's pretty good 10 a B 10 a B

10 a B as in Jeffrey's games 10 a B pretty bad no that's not funny. Because I put a lot of work into these. Not really. You just sort of uploaded a...

I'm writing Ten of B down. God damn it. All right, Amir, Texas, new name. Thin Sylvania. Thin Sylvania. No, because it doesn't... You guys aren't good at this here we go why do ho is one so i was really good what about instead of nevada it's trepidatious

why is that any better than tenneby this is fallons was not how i wanted the catholic was great thank you all right hard science illinois they're all fine what do you mean they're all fine it's supposed to be yeah exactly but you don't have to yell that like jane's was bad or mine wasn't good and then see yours were the best why do ho is the best i like las vegas trepidatious i know you do that's the problem uh let's get one for illinois i'm here illinois like a nice was salad all right it's another one that's not quite far enough from the state already that I would get to be.

Why the ho is adding a single letter to Idaho. Mine was a lot further. West Virginia. Let's go vest Virginia. Yeah. Very similar. Yeah. So it's like Virginia,

but with a vest on it. Take me home, country road, to a place I belong. West Virginia. Mount Baltimore. Take me home, country roads. that was important Dane let's get one for Florida lipstick that's really good Miami lipstick

now we're thinking Fallon let's take it all the way to New Mexico oh oh New Mexico. Oh. Oh. Oh, New Mexico. Oh, New Mexico. I'm going to go turquoise.

That's good. True to the region. Absolutely true to the region. I love that. Amir, your home state. California. Let's hear it. West. Dane's home state too, but still.

West Nevada. But Nevada at this point is trepidatious. So is it west trepidatious or is it west nevada technically it's west trepidatious if we're naming california after nevada west trepidatious kind of kind of slabs i love it trepidatious is kind of slavs. I love it. Trepidatious is good, but West Trepidatious is bad. You're bad at improv. All right, I'm going to hit us with a new name for Utah. Instead of Utah, what if it was like Flounder? What if it was, man? By the way, you had a week to think of this, right?

Because you knew the game was coming. We recorded on Tuesday. We recorded on Tuesday. We recorded on Tuesday, so we didn't have time. I had three days. Still, yours are worse than ours, and we're coming up with them on the spot. Flounder? Flounder, I didn't think about it until then. It's an improv.

All right, Colorado Fallon, what do you got? Colorado Baldman. So it would be bolder bald men? Yes. This is really good. Now we're really starting to think I love lipstick, I love bald men. Let's do Wyoming, man. Where is Wyoming?

Is it there? Amir, you're man. Wyoming. Wyoming. Are you kidding me what that's what wideo is yeah so i'm running with it wide oming there's a bunch of states that start with new and now there's a bunch of states all right fine Dane a new one for Michigan Michigan might be perfect yeah I think Michigan is a good one shimmy shimmy shimmy absolute word of the week

Dane just got a thousand dollars shimmy it was absolutely shimmy pretty sure you went we can review the tape but I think you went for the soundboard before Dane said shimmy alright I'm just

gonna here we go oh my god what a log into your chase bank account what a burden this is gonna be huh i want you to log into your chase account right now and we can just take a look at what's going on in there take a look at my bank account i see it in here one i got no savings hawaii let's rename hawaii to what to what warm town usa so it'd be honolulu it's not just a town it's not just a town it's not just a city it's a state it's a series of islands it's an entire state it's not just a town it's not just a town it's not just a city it's not funny either it's just kansas what about pansis no that's

nothing because then you're only changing one letter if you're not going to play the right way then don't play yeah because i think you did you did a one letter one earlier i think didn't you didn't you do vest Virginia was that you let's revisit Ohio for the first time your home state yes I wonder if Dane could give us a name for Ohio um

let's go with um who's from Ohio let's go with um who's from ohio let's go with uh jim jim who just jim well i was gonna say jim ohio but yeah you said who's from ohio and then you said let's do Jim. Yeah. Jim Brown. Columbus Jim. Yeah.

All right. Let's round it out. Let's do Louisiana and then we'll finish it out with the best state of all, Maine. We all laugh at the thought. You want to finish this out, Fallon? Okay. What about Maine? Spelled the same man yeah main portland man m-a-y-n-e one letter switch i like that that's innovative yeah thank you listen we, we've covered a lot of ground today, but I wanted to ask if you guys had any questions. Excuse me?

If we had any questions for you, what could you possibly know that we don't? We covered a lot of ground. I'm wondering if you have any questions, because I know I was going kind of fast. We played a game where yeah yeah please walk away we played falling bowls or fallon bowls and you want to know if we have any questions for you you're taking a cord it's going yeah he has to charge his computer computer is dying that's fair that's good it's nice that's happening

yeah right now should have been should have been charged already of course but we'll take it at the 44 minute mark that's funny that was easy still got it. So you, uh, so let's do it. Yeah. Let's do questions.

What do you guys got? Fallon? I have a question for you. Yeah. What, uh, what, what,

what game ski ball or darts? Oof. I'm going to take a second there. Darts. Let's go should we that's the game that the three of us will play when Jeff is in town

perfect the pho plays we'll bring a dart board the bullseye's a noodle so you guys seriously didn't have any questions no I mean we did I got a question for Dane okay

how long have you lived upstate eight months okay and you love it i don't know i feel like there's there's something to be said about like chasing happiness and then not chasing happiness and like this is a version of not chasing it i would say because i feel like city is like you know you're like jeff you're absolutely chasing happiness by going to the city for three months. Yeah. That sounds miserable to me. Well, the problem is that Jeff's always where he is.

Like you can leave LA, but it's still going to be, well, you. What you need to do is sort of not change your city, but be a different person, a happier person. You're not exercising or practicing joy. You're just sort of being miserable in California, then moving 3,000 miles and being miserable there. Yeah. Well, it's hard because I spread so much joy and it takes so much out of me. You don't. You're a giver.

No, he gives. He's the giver no he gives he's not a giver i would say yeah so i'm ancient what the fuck is this what is this fucking schmear campaign you guys are conspiring against me in a private chat 100 you are i spread nothing but joy and libel and i get both nary in return libel you enjoy and i spread joy i spread joy and legs oh incredible i've got a question for amir yeah yes um the painting behind you this guy yeah this guy it's actually a uh picture it's like a giant ikea photo or it's like a giant photo art that you can get at ikea oh so it's sort of instead of painting this giant white

wall we put it up there i love it you don't have to say that it's absolute garbage and a horrible choice for the space because the issue is like you just went to ikea and said oh what would fit this wall instead of trying to make the wall work for your personal memories and keepsakes like dane dane goes to festivals dane finds taxidermy insects and critters puts them make the wall work for your personal memories and keepsakes like Dane. Dane goes to festivals. Dane finds taxidermy, insects, and critters. Puts them on the wall for joy. You put a rope ridge on the wall, which causes me anxiety anytime I have to podcast with you. This one's nice.

I'm on a teeter-tottering wall. Oh, that's nice. I love that. That's nice. Yeah. So it's sort of like the, it's not just the photo, you know, it's the way, the way the room comes together. There's lots of other things. There's a whiteboard and a prop from SNL that I took when I was there.

So there is some sort of keepsakes around the room. Yeah, I love that. All right, plugs. What are you guys working on? What do you want to point the people to? Social media.

The floor is yours. Let's go. Fallon, Dane, Amir. Okay. I just want to take a second. I want to plug this shirt that I bought. It's called Meowdy. It's cats.

Whoa. It's cats with Western cats with guns. I'm not plugging guns. And then my TikTok, I've been posting a lot of, if you want a bathroom recommendation in New York, I got you covered. What's your TikTok? I'm on TikTok.

Oh, Amir, I got to gotta follow you it's just my name you know boring but i might change it up soon okay okay just fallon falls okay but i do a lot of it's called the uh nyc am i allowed to curse on this please nyc shit list uh instead of the VIP list and that's me and I also do a lot of meme cosplay and a killer Drew Barrymore ashamed and Drew Barrymore yeah so if you want a little mix

of crazy content I got you covered you got some viral hits in here you got some 100,000 plusers oh yeah that's not easy thank you so much i'm honored to hear it yeah good work good job by you hey thank you hell yeah patting myself on the back jeff you thought you started posting to tiktok like about a year ago and then you sort of gave up was it you didn't want to see the you didn't want to try because you were afraid to fail.

Well, it got to a point where I was too big to fail. Yeah. Like a bank. Yes. Yeah. But instead of using that to power me through on the day to day of it all, I use that as a way to just not even try. Yeah.

I don't think my brain works in terms of TikToks like I'm not good at characters uh I don't think in terms of what's hot off the presses I think in terms of what's evergreen for all ages genders creeds

religions and I think that's what this show has become is sort of a topical evergreen For all ages, genders, creeds, religions. Interesting. And I think that's what this show has become. It's sort of a topical evergreen show for the ages slash family friendly areas and arenas to listen to orally. I'm sort of an oral master of joy. Yeah, that is your new Instagram profile bio, isn't it? That's all my answer to why I haven't posted a TikTok in like a year. Yeah, that is your new Instagram profile bio, isn't it? That's all my answer to why I haven't posted a TikTok in like a year. Because you're the oral master of joy.

Dane, what do you got? You know, I'm going to plug our friendship, Jeff, because I feel like. It's flourishing. You know, that and going to plug our friendship, Jeff, because I feel like it's flourishing. You know, that and the YouTube comment section. I'm going to plug the YouTube comment section of the show. I see you. HeadGum staff sees you. Keep it coming.

Hell yeah. Amir? I just wanted to say that a lot of people talk shit about Jeff for like hosting this show in a stupid way. Thank you for, um, what's your service. I was just sort of giving a voice to those voiceless. Cause they don't necessarily have a lot of Instagram or Twitter followers.

And so I'm just, yeah might we see you we hear you and we will always fight for you how you've done the opposite of fight for that you've given me more time money and clout and we're gonna look into that in the coming year not close not soon that's sort of I'm doing a rough draft of my new year's resolutions and that's top three right now just to sort of

slowly extinguish your flame put the pilot light out so the cold just seeps through the chimney in a way at jeffreyjames on instagram at jeffboyardy on twitter and we'll see you guys again next friday

until then woo that's doz folks is that what you've been saying what's that consistency is key we'll see you guys again next week Is that what you've been saying? What's that? Consistency is key. We'll see you guys again next week.

And we're back. That was a Hidgum Original.