The Headgum Podcast - 79: Weak Plans

Episode Date: December 3, 2021

Jake, Marika, and Johnny welcome Geoff to New York and discuss Johnny's hometown heroism, celebrity deaths, and Christmas experiences! Check out the new Headgum podcast, XOXO, Gossip Kings! BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. No, I truly believe that we need to get some kind of branded content deal done for this show. I mean, what's the show's ethos? What's the mission statement? I guess it would be answering the world's most pressing questions with podcasting's most important celebrity. You're talking about this show that was he sure is way self-aggrandizing that's what you think this is inaccurate description that's not a mission statement is usually so that was the

show's ethos for sure that's like the opposite no the mission statement the mantra yeah last episode you just interrupted people with a damn Daniel drop a lot. So I don't think you're necessarily. Damn Daniel, back at it again with the white man. Wow. is it glitching out or is that all on purpose new york shitty yes the big crapple yeah the big green apple the granny smith city that never yawns yeah john i'm in philadelphia uh uh no i'm finally made it to uh god i was peeking for that entire thing sorry

um i'm in new york city it's too cold outside to be outside because my airbnb has a yard that i was going to record from because the inside's scalding hot so that's interesting yeah so yeah i guess you'll never be just right in the city that's always awake at night. What about opening the window? Because it's hot outside or hot inside, cold out. Well, the window's really small, and then it's also right by garbage, so I don't really want the smells of compost wafting in. Yeah.

Yeah. And you have no control over the heat? I looked around. I can't find a nest. I can't find an old school style one. There's got to be, there's a radiator, right? A what? A radiator.

You mean a radiator? Yeah. Yeah, but that would make it hotter. Yeah, but there's a valve on the radiator that you can twist it to turn it off. I don't know this New York City nonsense, man in la it's perfect always you gotta you see that radiator right there that's a nice even heat it's a nice even heat there's a little bit of moisture in that because it's talk about johnny for a second um villa what's new in the life and times slash what's new in the villa villa because you're you're in your place in new york yeah fucker uh this is awful i this is not how i wanted to start my my week it is monday recording yeah

we're recording up monday morning thanksgiving mind you yeah not in a way it really was thanksgiving break also yeah the first thing i didn't want to see this morning was you shirtless drinking a cold bro speaking ill at us but what's happening in the life and times of villa is nothing much uh last week during thanksgiving break i went to my hometown and i went to the home jersey yeah we know to new jersey hell yeah no it's all you ever talk about on the show it's the best thing the best place in the whole wide world man really hell yeah i thought you don't even like it that much not really but it's the best way yeah it's so good i left too much of a good thing they say yeah not really but i went to a hometown bar and kind of expecting the wednesday before thanksgiving yeah kind of

expecting to see all the people who just stayed in their hometown just kind of feeling a little bit better about myself but uh i walked in with a bad heart and i left like the grinch with my heart growing 10 times that size and it was just nice to see everybody everyone was so nice and i were the people that you knew? Yeah. Okay. They're all like high school people. You were looking forward to like going over there, gloating over them. I left this shithole. I live in New York shitty now. Absolutely. But instead they were

melting hot. Yeah, they were like cool. They were kind. They were nice and you're yeah, then you left with your heart full. Uh-huh. Yeah, I was absolutely a sour person a sour what was the what was the energy that you like went in there with like were you were you negative up front or were you like kind of like fake nice then they were real nice back and you

were like well shit now i feel bad yeah i kind of walked in trying to be as aloof as possible and like i don't know I should be in New York. You're going to agitate others and to be approached. That's really sad. Yeah, it was really sad, which made me in turn kind of sad. So I walked up to someone and said hi. And all of a sudden, the tables had turned for my emotions. That was all it took?

Yeah. Just saying hello. It's not really all of a sudden. Oh for my emotions. That was all it took? Yeah. Just saying hello. It's not really all of a sudden. Oh my God. Everyone here is so fucking real. Not like the city where I live. What were you like in high school, Johnny? I was a theater kid through and through.

But interestingly enough, the theater kids at my high school, some of them were like part of the popular crowd so i was kind of adjacent to that it was really cool not really i was near the popular theater kids and they weren't even the most popular kids they were just of the theater kids hell yeah what productions did you do in high school any song time we should say rest in power absolutely the goat has passed it was sad he was 91 though he was 91 but he he went he went to a two show day on wednesday. He saw two plays on Wednesday and then died on Friday. Isn't that crazy? That is crazy. This isn't safe.

Wait. The sadder one is Virgil Abloh, Rest in Power. Yeah, that one is sad. That is sad. Yeah. I'm wondering who the third one is, though. They're both sad, I guess. Both are sad, for sure.

Yeah, they can both be sad. But Virgil Abloh. I was definitely more affected by Virgil Abloh dying. It's sad to see somebody that is like absolutely peaking, crushing it in every regard. Also surprising. So, yeah. I'm sorry, Jeffrey. You said you wanted the third one to be Jake, you said?

Hmm? No, I said I wonder who the third one is. And then I couldn't help but wonder what if it's Jake? Well, it couldn't be because I'm not at that. Like, I wouldn't be. I wouldn't be in that company as like the third person to die. Nobody would be like, man, can you believe Sondheim, Abloh and Hurwitz in the same week? No, but I thought that you didn't you interview for the LVMH job, the Louis Vuitton?

No, I wasn't even asked i know it's even available i don't think i would have um like been on their radar because i don't really know well it wasn't like an open because it wasn't like an indeed thing no it was more like an invite like i also i work it i like founded this company so it'd be weird if i was like looking for jobs on indeed ever anything can you imagine me applying for a job in fashion in fashion maybe i would love to consult for like fucking buck mason i would i have ideas for t-shirts that feels like up your alley you kind of have a fashion line in a way

oh yeah actually i do i did start another job i make wallets and hats there you go jeff what are you yeah you you fucking what are you distracted I was biting my nail but I didn't it was a little confusing because you laughed right after you said that and that wasn't funny

wait what I just got a little turned around I didn't sleep very well last night because it was too hot yeah that's part of it that's when you open the window that i almost

did and then i thought that these were windows hang on i thought that these were windows but it's actually just um it's a velcro curtain over what appears to be open wall so it's like crawl space what's the rest of the apartment like uh do you guys want a tour yeah yeah yeah might as well see if i can do this uh uh so it's like a studio in a basement so it's a little okay well that's it good i'm only here for like four days and then you're only there for four days yeah and then I do a housing swap with my friend. There's a full bathroom, which is great. I see. So you're in a shitty Airbnb right now.

In a way. It's not shitty. It's surprisingly cheap for having your own place. Yeah, that's true. But it is in a basement. The ceilings are certainly low. Yeah. In the shower.

I had to duck in the shower. Yeah. That makes sense. And that's on god on god um what's the address of this place you'll actually be long gone by the time you leave so you don't even have to bleep it out well no because i don't want to dox like the building because this is the thing it's like wherever i go it becomes a kind of a celebrity spotting spot not really what's that yeah I would agree with everyone who said it wasn't it sounded like you didn't hear Johnny or Mariko but they both said it didn't become a celebrity spotting it's gone

he left all right videos gone what were the productions Johnny I'm curious too I did rent I did Tommy that musical great carousel those were the music classic but um good stuff the year who are you in carousel in carousel uh i was just part of the ensembler love that what about what about in rent one rent junior glory no come on no i wish tommy's where i had my time to shine i was a come on dude nice interrupting me man no like i was with jake like the come on man yeah man

glory one song do you guys watch tick tick boom oh yeah that's my favorite Jonathan Larson musical wait is did he write that one he is

so he wrote is he not dead yeah he he is dead uh he wrote a one man show called tick tick boom and then it was

adapted into a three person musical by David Auburn uh but like with the same songs that he wrote it just like gave it structure you know what i read like a whole bunch about stephen sonheim this weekend because um pro tip i i got a new york times subscription weekend subscription uh and it's actually made me pretty cultured, pretty smart, and actually a little bit better than, frankly, everyone on this call. I have the full subscription every day of the week. Really?

Do you know how to read the crossword? I can't figure out. I feel like I know the answers. I just don't know how to fucking do it. I did the crossword today really took me three minutes because i didn't know the word zarf oh you're talking about the fucking mobile crossword the crossword game no you know what i'm not gonna take any three minutes not today you are what what did you learn oh i just i mean i thought it was fascinating how collaborative uh like theater

is i didn't like there's just so many like adaptations from books and old shows and stuff there's just like so many people constantly like working together and making new shows from old ones and fixing things and doing things different i kind of thought it was all just like you write it like the movies write an original thing do it and then that's it um so i thought it was fascinating yeah it was cool did you watch tick tick boo i thought you cared about steven sondheim you said rest in power but then you don't want to talk about his Saturday night you are so you love Saturday night it's the only Sondheim thing that I... Yeah. Yeah. I think I used to listen to the Assassin's soundtrack.

Yeah. No, that was the Assassin's Creed soundtrack. It's a good one. It's completely different. I saw that on last Friday. No, the Friday... Not this past Friday, but the one before. The 19th.

Oh, really? Wait, so it... Yeah, that... So it came back. It's opening again. It's being rebooted. Yeah, there's an off-Broadway production of Assassins right now. Who's in it? Sorry. It's opening again. It's being rebooted. Yeah, there's an off-Broadway production of Assassins right now. Who's in it?

Sorry, who's in it? Steven Pasquale, Judy Kuhn, Adam Chandler-Burrett, Tavi Gevinson. Oh, I love Tavi. Yeah. I didn't know she acted. Yeah, I think I've seen her in every thing she's ever done on stage except for one show which is weird

but it was a fine production, Assassins is the show I've seen of his the most I've seen three different productions it's good wow did you see the OG, wait was the OG one the one with Doogie Howser in it? Wait, who is?

Oh, Neil Patrick Harris. That's right. I didn't see that one. That was the first one, right? No, there was an off-Broadway production in 1990. Wow. That's the original one with Victor Garber. Wow. Don't know shit encyclopedia-wise i this is the only thing in my brain

and people don't apparently don't want her talking about formula one really was it people or was it one person and then marika keeps saying that everybody doesn't want her to talk i said it one. You said it like three times. I swear to God. Do you guys see my Ferrari hat? Yeah, it's really cool. It's good, Addy. I'm trying to go to Le Mans next year.

And I, like a week ago, had to call a travel agency or like a company that does camping bookings and I talked to this like nice British man for 30 minutes and he was like just kept going on and on he was like I've been going for 20 years like we can help you do whatever you want and I was like okay that's amazing does he do that for everybody who did you this is, he was like, it's a family business. I run it with my wife. Oh, my God. And we pride ourselves in helping people. And he was also like, no one has ever called from New York City wanting to go to Le Mans.

I was like, that seems crazy. Wow. People from Florida. You're going to go camping in France next summer. That's the plan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck yeah. Watching Porsches just whip around

in the woods. Yep. Watching Fassbender wrap his car around a goddamn tree. Holy shit. Imagine me going to France and then watching

Michael Fassbender die. It would have to be your fault. You're the only person from New York that ever went to Le Mans. It's true. It's the one thing that's changed. Anyway, yeah, that's my plan.

It's going to be great. I think the commenter that didn't want you to talk about racing was Jeff. Just judging by his face while we've been chatting about it. Sorry. I'm so tired. I really loved the conversation for like 10 minutes and he's shook. I missed all of that. Sorry it's fine yeah we can move on yeah okay

you said Le Mans I heard that what about Le Mans pubis so it's like you're having sex what's the address of your Airbnb nice that's right around the corner from me it's not too far from you yeah sorry Nice. That's right around the corner from me. It's not too far from you. Yeah.

Sorry. It's fine. Wow. Where's that iced coffee from? It's like Reguglio or something. What is it? It's across the street. Let me look at it. This is why I was five minutes late. Yeah. Ringolevia. Ringole levio something like that ring yeah ringa levio something like that i said it have you been to this 456 place 456 i don't think so

okay it looks kind of cool it's called 456 let me finish yeah where is it it's on richardson street across what is it then there's this bar called the richardson and its description on google is out of the way bar offering specialty cocktails that's not a selling point it is it shouldn't be that because it sounds like that was like written when you know prime williamsburg was having its heyday yeah now when was that richardson 2005 2000 i guess yeah 2000 probably 2008 because now it's just like a mall yeah everything is everything is uh on the way yeah it's that's a busy little corner right there. Yeah. I love Greenpoint.

Greenpoint's good. Yeah. Big fan. I walked home. Well, yeah, I was walking in Greenpoint earlier today. You walked home. So what you've been suggesting this entire time, I'm tired. I didn't get a lot of sleep uh and now you're saying i was walking home no i was you're you're fucking in green point

your preoccupation with the mons pubis sorry you're refusing to wear clothes right now i you're you're a lethargo you're living in a basement on Richardson Street, fucking your way across Brooklyn. I'm a lethargico. Because I'm exhausted. I can't have sex without being tired about it. Oh, what was I going to say? Oh, I went to Zilonin last night. Oh, yeah.

It was pretty good. What is that? It's a vegan or a vegetarian place right by Vital. My climb is Vital. My hands are cold. Did you go to Vital? When did you get here? I got here three weeks ago.

I didn't tell anybody. No, I got here yesterday at four and nice so all you did is go to zelonen have sex and come home yeah tight i wanted to see johnny but he didn't respond to my fucking emails emails why we're ready to get in touch because it was sunday because it was sunday you're probably getting a ton of texts no sunday is probably the least busy day of the week for everybody yeah but definitely a day when you don't want to check your email all right scary i guess i don't know how to live in new york all right then i guess i don't i haven't assimilated yet is that fine can i have a couple weeks yeah i mean you definitely have if you're getting your fucking coffee at ringo levio

that's an italian place they do pasta at dinner man that's like time i also went to sweet leaf is that fine with you sure i don't know where that is okay I say it's okay. Wait, so what are you drinking now? Did you get tea? No, this is hot coffee. You got a hot coffee and a cold brew? Yeah. You gotta have a shandy. A little bit of both.

An Arnie Palmy in a way. Hot and cold. Room temp for both cups at a certain point. Yeah. Green or otherwise did you get another tattoo did you get another tattoo what is this yeah i got a it's a lemon jesus christ is that a real tattoo yeah it's for my dead dog.

He only ever played with lemons. You should say it's for... And that meant so much to you? Pyle's dog. I kept... Named Lemon. Okay, then it's also for Pyle's... Another scapegoat, by the way,

for his failing marriage. First the house, then the dog, then the kid. It's like... He's had Lemon failing marriage first the house then the dog and the kid it's like he's had lemon get to the root of the issues don't just keep like making yourself distracted i'm sorry to say it's really not your place to be talking about someone else's marriage by the way wow that's not that shouldn't be crazy to hear john Johnny's been pretty quiet on this podcast, too. I feel like that really... Yeah, that shit bubbled over.

By the way, I hope that this energy doesn't carry over past the break because I don't want this episode marred by controversy. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1. Just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me

feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe. And their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands.

I like to drink it first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water. I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee. And it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long.

So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. And we're back. We're back and we're happy. Yeah, that was such a reset.

Thank you. Jeff, what a 20-minute guided meditation for us. That's funny but also like meditation can really help you like I don't want to make life something that helps millions right yes you do

that's all you do you shit on so much that brings people joy up kabop aside I hate that one You shit on so much that brings people joy. Upka Boppa Silent. I hate that one. Marika. Yes. Are you on field? I don't know.

Okay. That's it? No follow-ups? There's's no follow ups at this point it doesn't even seem like she knows what it is I don't can't even let the listeners understand what you're talking about it's an app for casual sex

threesomes and kink oh god and I wondered if you were maybe thriving on it what man I didn't say anything you incriminated two people at once

like Johnny I'm having a ton of fun I've never heard of it I'm having a ton of fun and part of it has to be the New York energy, man. You just got here. You just got here. I'm sorry, man.

It's infectious, this city. It never sleeps. I mean, last night, it was it was crazy the energy in green point like the lights up for the holidays yeah no it is really nice you're in a basement it's so funny to be like the city the energy you're just in a fucking hot basement you're saying the city you're in brooklyn you don't really care about manhattan which is the city. You're in Brooklyn. You don't really care about Manhattan, which is the city. All right. No, Manhattan.

I love Manhattan. It's good. It's great. I was there on Saturday. Oh, it's fire. Oh, did you do Saturday? You got a hike with Manhattan. You just said you hated it.

I don't like how loud it is. Nice. Very nice. I was walking around like from Union Square to Soho. Oh, did you go to the Christmas market? I was walking around Soho. Square to Soho just walking oh did you go to the Christmas market I was walking around Soho we should go to

the Christmas market with the in the Union Square yeah I would love that I love Manhattan it's awful I hate the Christmas market that's great

is it really bad is there a better one because I just want to do something Christmassy it's just so crowded I would do the Bryant Park Christmas one that's like a little

where the hell's bryant park 42nd street between 42nd and 6th there you go uh it's also got the ice skating if you want that shit the broadway shit and then i make a broadway reference and you're like nice yeah I said nice you just said 42nd Street the name of a musical with a song that is also called 42nd Street like that's all you did that was easy yeah

so Bryant Park you'd recommend because I just all I want I'm sorry that I'm getting angry about it because it's just passion all I want is to just have a hot chocolate from somewhere interesting spike it with my own peppermint schnapps and walk around it waltz around rather

a Christmas market with bae yeah do Bryant Park watch people ice skate you could even walk up to the Rockefeller Christmas tree at that point if you wanted to no because that's bullshit. Because you're not like

pairing the things makes them not two singular experiences. So I could have had two Christmases experiences and instead you're trying to get me to do them both in one night

knock them off like it's a grocery list. I'm not going to have it. Nobody from Field wants to do this with you either. It's an app for casual sex and threesomes. And you're going to say like

come get a fucking hot coffee with me a hot chocolate a hot toddy with a hot body and go to the Christmas market I know you have like a kinky sex fetish thing but yeah okay with a married couple

you'll roleplay as the son that wants a fucking candy cane mumsy and dadsy can I get a hot chocolate oh lord it's easy to have fun if you know Fucking candy cane. Mumsy and Dadsy. Can I get a hot chocolate? Oh, Lord. Gross. It's easy to have fun if you know the avenues. What avenues?

Yeah, do you know? First, second, third. All of the numbered ones. C, D, E. The avenues. Yeah. Manhattan. I mean, kind of.

Yeah, Manhattan. Kind of. there's no fourth avenue yeah right major key alert don't be afraid to switch shit up spontaneously or not i wouldn't have been here if it wasn't for a couple conversations with micah micah hurwitz yeah you're gonna give micah the credit for for having you come to new york that was that was me man it was both of you but mostly micah for saying his friend wanted to sublet for a couple months and i was like you didn't even take him up on that yeah because it was too late by the time i decided five days passed suddenly it's not an option anymore right so you missing out on that sublet option is what made you realize you wanted to oh i you always want what you can't have yeah and uh once i couldn't have that sublet i had to be here yeah yeah cool because i also offered you um a place i'm in love with the boca

my next move is going to be to boca raton what came first the the song that you sang and then said that or did you actually want to move to boca and then you sang the song no i just let's move on right full steam ahead of course let's take it into bond of the week bond of the fucking week let's get into it marika let's start all right mine is bradley james but only if colin mor Morgan is his Q. The stars of Merlin BBC back together again. Do you mean M? No, I mean Q. Okay.

I have to just look at British actors really quick. They don't have to be British. You said they did. No, because Pierce Brosnan was Irish and actually Sean Connery was Scottish. So I guess it's kind of from the uk area yeah okay but we've also said like richard kind so yeah that's my favorite jeffrey suggested bill nye i think yeah yeah yeah which was as american as it gets right what about bill nye spelled n-I-G-H-Y? Well, yeah, that's what's like the next Bond is Nighy. Oh, Bill Nighy.

Yeah. What about Damian Lewis? It's time we had a redheaded Bond. I don't think you can be a redhead and be a stone cold killer. I'm sorry to say. What about Eddie Redmayne or Eddie Redmayne? Like the main of it. Oh, nice.

So not the actor, just a different guy named Eddie who has red hair. My friend Ed has red hair, yeah. He has Ed hair. Yeah, Ed has Ed hair, that's true. And it's kind of red, so it could work. Let's make the next Bond Taylor Lautner. I don't like that. No, because hear me out.

Because A a he's dated multiple tailors right so he's kind of a ladies man of which James is as well you actors and Holly would have like dated multiple yeah partners and okay they could check the box of being a ladies man or being considered that and if that was the only reason I would say

forget it but there's another reason he was shark boy right right so that's so there's already a built-in audience for taylor lautner in terms of once it's the last thing he worked on he did some uh cw show or something that nobody gave a shit about that's the other thing he's been away for a while and so to come back right so no one gave a shit and no one gave a shit about him and he has a built-in audience which one is it by the way bond has the built-in audience they have the global franchise they don't need anyone to bring someone to to bond don't you think do you think Bond is looking for a fucking influencer and it wouldn't be Taylor Lautner no it'd be Lautner he was on Cuckoo which is a British TV show

oh there we go so he's working with the Brits he might have a flat which is important because I don't know if MGM can put someone up for the whole entire time it'd be like for a couple weeks yeah he might have to work as a local, as they say. And that's kind of where you cover your own flat.

But also, Bond's traveling, right? So, they're probably on location. Yeah, that's true. There's going to be a lot of travel involved. I bet he'd have to book his own travel. So, if Lautner is comfortable using kayak or whatever to book his own travel, then maybe he would get the part. My thinking is thus, is that he was shark boy and he kind of fucking crushed

it shark boy sure he was a child but yeah there has to be a nod there has to be a nod to shark boy in bond so it's 007 but maybe like the next watch has like a shark on it do you just want So it's 007, but maybe the next watch has a shark on it.

Do you just want them to reference Sharkboy and Lavagirl somehow? You don't need Taylor Lautner to do that. Yeah, you play the reaction you wanted. You wanted polite laughter. Johnny, who's your Bond of the absolute goddamn week? He's on a hot streak right now. He's's playing Mario and he's also playing Garfield no way let's get Chris Pratt on the on the horn oh god that's horrible on the horn so you haven't even offered it to him yet no not yet but we gotta ask him at least a kevin porter casting decision in the making yeah we should get kevin porter to

just do this one part of the show every week that'd be great um i hate that i hate that choice because he's not even suave he's not but i think he could bring a new energy to the James Bond franchise. Let's see what is his energy. I feel like he'd be like... Conservative. Conservative religious guy. Super conservative. I think he'd say some snappy one-liners. Like, there's an explosion happening behind him.

He's like, wow, that was an explosion. So you want snappy one-liners, you're not going to go Ryan Reynolds? Absolutely not. Because I need a conservative man. Why? To bring American values to the big screen. They already have. Every fucking Clint Eastwood movie is exactly what you're saying.

Why don't we get Clint Eastwood on the horn, too? He's 90. He'll be M. He'll be M. I hope Clint Eastwood, I'm sorry to say, I hope Clint Eastwood's the third in this celebrity triad of deaths. Wow. Heard it here first.

Heavy statement. Major key alert. Put yourself out there on a limb or the plank. So basically say controversial shit for the sake of contrarianism. That's bad advice. And controversy. It's actually what I do with Radiator. I wanted to get a conversation going.

I don't even pronounce it like that. A Nick Radiator. Good. Really nice. See, Jake, what you said, like when you said Radiator, that was like very lighthearted and fun. And that's a nice way to start conversation but what jeff was doing was uh stirring the pot in a really bad way jeff wishing someone yeah you should probably pay attention jeff yeah that was that was like a conversation about you

you're basically chastising what you did and you looked at your phone during it and that's such an easy thing to do to hold your phone below the Zoom. But it's like you raised it into the frame almost as a fuck you to Villa. Yeah. What's your pop socket? It's not, it's just a sticker. Oh, wait, that's not Grateful Dead.

Is that Grateful Dead or is it John Mayer or is it both? They're kind of one in the same. It's Grateful Dead. I wouldn't say they're one in the same. Doesn't JMA go on tour with uh the dead and company yeah isn't he part of the company he's part of the company not part of me when the same yeah it's not you guys don't know what the fuck you're talking about

let's talk about week plans and i don't mean plans for this week i mean w e a k right so what are some tentative shit that you guys want to do this week oh i love that actually that's great energy on thursday i'm looking at i actually want to talk to you about this i wanted to go on a on a big long bike ride on thursday but i'm looking at the weather and it's going to be kind of cold in the morning. So I'm already thinking about bailing the night before. But if you're interested, you should try to- That's the perfect week plan. Try to get your hands on a bike.

I actually was going to try and get one for cheap on Craigslist because I'm trying to be active as shit this winter. Do you want my bike that probably needs to be a little bit fixed but i don't use anymore yeah you're wait your vroom vroom bike no no my regular yeah yeah oh perfect yeah jeff take it at the very least it needs the tires blown up at worst maybe it needs some new brakes but i'll drive you to pick it up jeff and we can pick it up bring it to my bike shop they'll get it to tune up and we'll whip around the city on thursday unless it's too cold and i might have to uh reschedule okay i'm done

i also wanted to ask you actually um in january i wanted to go upstate for a weekend. Can I rent your car for the weekend? Rent my car? Yeah. You can just borrow my car? I mean, I wanted to toss you a couple bucks because Lord knows you could use it. Yeah, depending on the weekend, you can borrow the car.

Got renovation, yeah. Got renovation on the townhouse. So like, strapped for cash and honestly strapped with that gat. What do you mean? You are a gun owner we should say me and chris pratt yeah um i have a concealed carry permit that i uh use uh my week plan yeah let's hear it sorry i'm just looking at bikes after i've offered you one but sure yeah uh one of my friends from college is coming into the city on wednesday but can't get dinner can only like do something before so i think i'm gonna go to the bryant park market

and then maybe try and see a play afterwards because I'm in the area but I don't know what play yet I gotta decide it's gonna be last minute are you trying to decide because you've seen them all or like are there ones that you haven't seen it's a bit of both I think a healthy dose of both

I think there's like maybe one or two that I haven't seen yet cool yeah Johnny weak plans uh here's a a really really weak plan i don't know if i'm gonna go back home on thursday night or friday morning because my mom invited me to watch earth wind and fire with her at uh at atlantic city so you can't get enough of atlantic city man you can't get enough of Atlantic City, man. You can't get enough of fucking going home.

Now you just have a taste for it. You love it. You want to go back on Thursday for the show? When's the show? Friday or Saturday? Friday night. For Thanksgiving? Okay, so you want to go there Thursday

so you can go out to that bar, your hometown bar, Thirsty Thursday in Burlington. It's not going to be the same because no one's home, right? Well, I can bring that energy. I can bring that positive energy back. Not really. I guess. I feel like I can.

I feel like I'm that sociable. Yeah. Even though you described yourself as the Grinch when you went in there last time. You had a Grinch heart. Yeah. described yourself as the Grinch when you went in there last time. You had a Grinch heart. Yeah, everybody knows this. The follow-ups to the Grinch, you became a popular guy. Everyone fucking loved him.

Hey, what are you doing, Jeff? What are you doing? There was an eyelash on my fucking laptop, and not Billy. Not the good kind. It was my hair. Let's talk about Amazing Grace A sweet the good kind it was my hair let's talk about oh amazing grace a sweepstakes i entered six thousand times into an omaze sweepstakes to win a mons in tarzana This is not a joke. To win a what? I am not a crook.

We're having a ton of fun today. What is this? We asked you multiple times what you're saying. You sang a song saying you entered a raffle to win a Monson Tarzana. Then you said I'm not kidding.

Then Rick has asked you several times what you're talking about. And then he blew up. And then he blew up. What is a Mons? Yeah, I'm trying to find what he's talking about. You say nonsense. We asked you to clarify. And I got the Omaze part which is sad it's a mons

a mansion you you entered a raffle to win a house in tarzana i don't even know if it's in tarzana but it's in la and it's one of those like cape cod spec homes that's like if it was in any other town would be amazing but in la where there's so much amazing real architecture it's like that's not really the kind of house you'd want to get. But yeah, but you still entered the the raffle. Well, yeah, because I feel like, you know, 500 bucks for 6000 entries. $500. You paid cash for it? It's for charity, man.

I'm going to win because no one else is putting that many entries. And I'm sorry to say, but'm gonna have a house and um please please you say this shirtless from a basement underneath underneath the bqe please nobody else if you're hearing this enter this sweepstakes because i need there to be less entrance so i can have in fact if you're listening to this and you have entered uh email the email the proprietor and rescind your entrance yeah i think it's mr omaze at omaze.sweepstakes couldn't anyone enter as you did the eyelash from your computer go into your mouth when you blew it my own hair was in my mouth got it um 4.3 million dollars so the idea is to get the house maybe throw a party in it it has a movie theater maybe do a

screening of like something awesome and then liquidate the bish so basically make that cash and uh and then buy in cash a house in a better area uh for less so that I'm suddenly I don't even have fucking housing costs does that make sense plugs what do you say no we didn't even make it to the waxing portion

all we did was February you're a long way to go bud yeah but if you end well i don't i'm working against my own interest here because if you if you enter before no i'm not even gonna say it because i don't want i at least want to win a bunch of money does this really go to charity yeah i don't think it actually will go to charity if you enter a raffle to win a free house they they give the money they made to charity it feels like that would go towards covering the cost of the house you should have played that after you fucking said all the stuff about how

you were going to liquidate the house and yeah and live rent free i thought what i said was interesting i'm sorry if it wasn't it's okay i mean i hope you win a house that'd be cool yeah you guys would have a free place to stay anytime you come to fucking la what is omaze it's just a place where you sweepstakes thing yeah it's just a sweepstakes fucking website yeah yeah so right now noah centennial one is so sad he's 24 donors also my friend is friends with this guy i could get you a date with him oh thank you let's do that let's do that let's do that rather than me paying five hundred dollars yeah and then today today alone 7200 people have donated for this house yeah this is so fucking stupid this is awful you shouldn't have, obviously. Do you want to hear what the description is for this house?

It's so stupid. Yeah. As the classic quote says, go west, young dreamer, and land an LA pad with a pool house or something to that effect. In any case, winning this five bed, six bath, thoroughly thrilling property,

even the quartzite counters will make your heart race, is the modern equivalent of striking gold and because this is los angeles the epicenter of entertainment you'll land in entertainer's haven with an open concept kitchen and living room that leads you to an equally enticing backyard pool hot tub sports court putting green your fantasy features are all here back inside the main bedroom suite with its fireplace walk-in closet soaking tub and oversized showers and enough to make you actually scream eureka this is johnny wrote this i'm sorry i absolutely wrote this i hope you enjoyed it i you know what it's probably in it's probably in Encino

is that a deal breaker for you because you just paid $500 yeah you didn't find any of this stuff out before you guys are gonna be laughing I'll be the one I'll have the last laugh when I paid $500 for a 4.3 million dollar Mons I'm sorry and you guys will be saying Eureka like a couple of fucking losers

and you know what we'll watch in the movie room. We'll watch Le Mans at Le Mans. Nice. Yeah, thanks. Eureka and Marika, they rhyme. That's kind of cool. This just in. Jeff has good luck.

Not really. If you bought $500. It wasn't news. Entry ticket. Fucking plugs. All right. 46 minutes into this nonsense. Let's get it over with. if you bought $500 wasn't news entry tickets fucking plugs all right 46 minutes into this nonsense let's get it over with Marika what do you have going on

I got nothing going on but listen to XOXO Gossip Kings it's really funny new podcast with Carl Tart and the Marwoods are watching Gossip Girl listen to History of Heat, our new podcast presented by StockX.

Two episodes out. It's a six episode series. Yeah. Follow me on Twitter and Instagram and Letterboxd at Marie Galon. I love the name of your travel agent. Let's shout that person out

because I need to. Okay. Actually, I'm going to give Stephen a call. Yeah, you should. Yeah, come to France. That's going to be great. I kind of want to. Yeah, I'm going to go glamping.

And then ideally, the plan is to fly from France to Montreal and go to the Grand Prix the weekend after. I was going to say, okay, cool. I still want to go to Monaco. That's the Grand Prix that I want to grand see. But actually, there's not a lot of overtaking in Monaco. So maybe I don't.

Not a lot of overtaking. Maybe I don't want to see that. Maybe I'll go to Azerbaijan. I think that Monaco would be fun if we were rich and cool. Yeah. So that's what we have to strive for. Let's plug. If you are going to go to Monaco and you have a boat that we can watch from, hit us up.

Nobody's going to watch that. Because nobody has that. If they listen to the show, they don't have that. There could be one rich person that listens to this or somebody that has rich parents or somebody that has parents that are Carlos Sainz's dad or something. So then that's my plug. We're trying to get into the Ferrari paddock for sure. What the hell is a paddock? It's where you hang out when you're close with LeClaire.

It's where you hang out when you're close with LeClaire. It's where you hang out when you're boys with signs. And it's where we would talk about plans for the day and plans for the evening, celebrating their inevitable fifth and sixth place finishes. Yeah. They're weak plans. You bail on signs. Yeah, they'd be sick. Johnny. Yeah. yeah i think it'd be sick johnny yeah uh this is a verbal plea to at build a bear on twitter to unblock me why did they block you

what did you say they didn't like getting dms saying you're playing god something like that it's insane that they even read that. What do you do with your free time? This! I'm terminally online. Terminally online. I mean, same. Just in a different way.

But yeah, follow me on Instagram at JohnnyV. J-O-H-n-n-y-v-i-i and yeah that's my plug jeffrey jake have any um yeah i i i i genuinely just want to go to monaco so if you have a boat uh at me on twitter or instagram or know, find a way to contact me. That should be on you. I feel like you have enough money to get a small boat. Get a small boat? Not by, but rent one for two days? Oh, rent one?

It's probably like $4,000. That's a lot of money, but you have that. $4,000. Yeah, I mean, I don't know. At Jeffrey James on Instagram. At Jeff Boyardee on Twitter. That's really it. If you take nothing away from plugs, just those two things. And we did it.

New York, man. It's going to be awesome. We should go to House of Yes. Or better yet, or better yes, House of X. Nice. Yeah, it's the new house of yes on the kind of near Johnny's place I'll be there with a hot

chocolate don't worry my own schnapps that I smuggled in in my ass but we'll see you guys shirt yeah me on a shirt not a shirt I'm sorry but not for a house of X it's not a place

it's a decadent place of hedonism. It's an X-Men comic. Thanks so much for listening to this episode of the HeadGum Podcast, guys. Keeping in tradition of doing it from a basement. That's true. Maybe even next week I'll have to get into the building basement of the place that I'll be living in. We'll figure it out.

But until next Friday, this has been another edition of the Jeffrey James Hour. Good. Yeah. Is actually what it's going to be called from hence here forth. No. That's Daz folks that was a Hiddem original