The Headgum Podcast - 81: Logistics

Episode Date: December 17, 2021

Johnny and Gionna join Geoff to discuss Gionna's Miata, reality TV, and the current supply chain issue! Check out the new Headgum podcast, XOXO, Gossip Kings! BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Jeff, you put in so much work to make this board. What's that? I actually don't fucking appreciate the, like, surprise shock tone, Wolstein, right? I put my heart, blood, sweat, and tears and soul into this shit. Who's gonna join you on that right? Who were you expecting to jump on and be like, yeah, let's give Jeff

a break. Certainly not Amir. Not Shelby, because that's who you're fighting with. So you were counting on me. Damn, Daniel. Let's get into the show. So far away from the mic. There's no way it's picking you up. Really? Yeah, it's picking you up. Really?

Yeah, it's kind of quiet. Yeah. You're not hearing what's going on through this. And this is a horrible way to start the show, obviously. Talking about technical difficulties up top. But I mean, we always have technical difficulties at the top. It feels like that every single episode. Especially the last one.

The last one was great. The last one was great the last one was perfectly executed I guess like it really depends on what other people are feeling I mean it came out today we should say it's a Friday and I think that's fine to have to I mean I think the bit of a the barrier to entry with podcasting is lower B Don't be what Sorry don't like check in mid shit What do you mean check in I'm just waiting for you to finish your sentence

Active listening I don't appreciate it I really don't because it doesn't show that you're listening It's showing that you're waiting Biting at the bit trying to get your shit in Active listening is a Psychological technique to prove that I am Listening participating biting at the bit trying to get your shit in active listening is a is a psychological technique to prove that i am listening so if anything i'm really trying to validating what you were saying well i'm salivating at the idea of finishing my thought can i do that please

yeah finish it if you can pick it up where you left off a the barrier to entry to audio is lower because you only have to worry about audio, not audio and video. B, people have more of an attention span because they're queuing this up for a road trip, for a commute, for a workout, for a walk. So if it takes you 30 seconds to get into it, that's fine to them. Absolutely, that's fine to them.

And I don't appreciate being like interrogated and blamed for the fucking issues AV or otherwise on this show because guess what I'm the only one who fucking works on it you know what man I'm really sorry no it's sorry that you have to see me like this Gianna usually I'm like

worse at explaining why I'm upset okay yeah you're so good at explaining exactly what made you upset this time we've got another move on we've got another three-person episode i don't know it's the kinshin effect here because the last time it was johnny marika and i for 30 minutes and then gianna for 10 and then marika had to leave so it was three people for that show. Today we've got three because Maiko was supposed

to be on and he got food poisoning. Gianna, what's new in the life and times of Kinshin? You know, okay, so I'm graduating next week. I'm in college. Incorrect, but continue. Incorrect? Actually, no.

What day is it? No, it is next week. It's next thursday i'm graduating you made me think that you don't gaslight her don't gaslight her just gaslight the fuck out of me it's okay i'm graduating next thursday um very excited god willing i'm graduating next thursday um i go to Temple to college in the great city of Philadelphia go birds that's the mascot it's just birds the eagles

but also the temple owl so in a way it's birds all birds the shoe thank you Gianna we were just hanging out recently, and I want you to talk about your yoga class that you signed up for and what you need to do for that class right now.

Okay. So at the beginning of the semester, I needed 18 credits to graduate. That's like a fully packed schedule. So I was trying to make it as easy on myself as possible. So I was like, all right, you know what, let me take... You're typing so loud.

Sorry, it's fine, it's fine. It is loud. It's not, it's not fine. No, because it's not going to be picked up on the show because I'm recording through this, the studio microphone. So you pointing it out

makes it worse because now you interrupted Gianna. Okay, fine. Just continue, but type quieter so I don't have to hear it all right that's that's a good note that is a good note sorry okay okay 18 credits yes 18 credits so i was like let me take this class this yoga class because i was like it's

gonna be fucking easy three easy credits like you know it'll be it'll be a cakewalk and it was all online too like asynchronous totally no zoom meetings or anything so i was like this could be so easy so come to find out oh my god that's that kind of verite is that podcast verite that we needed yeah what would be the fancy word for podcast like what's film and cinema podcast and blank i don't think there is a fancy word i think we need that is definitely a gap in the market sure yeah there's nothing i can do about this right now we're just gonna have to wait for you think you could go into a closet or something it'll be done in a second just give it so many technical difficulties

it's my house phone we still have a house phone i can't even do anything about that yeah it's archaic it's archaic this fucking yoga class okay i'm supposed to be about it taking like i'm supposed to be following along with this youtube video like there's like a weekly youtube video that the professor is making of like the class this is i'm supposed to be following along with this YouTube video like there's like a weekly YouTube video that the professor is making of like the class I'm supposed to be following along with the YouTube video and recording it and like turning it in every week and that's like most of my grade yeah I didn't do that the whole semester because I had other shit going on I'm working I got a bunch of other classes I was like this, this is a fucking yoga class. I could put it on the back burner. It'll be fine. You failed.

I didn't fail. Not, I did not fail. Um, I have until Sunday. It's Friday now. You'd have to do like 20 yoga sessions. 11 hours of fucking yoga. You're being serious. I'm being dead serious.

No, like I'm dead fucking serious i've been doing stupid speed yoga fucking the most stressful yoga of my life i have the youtube video of her on like 1.5 times speed on youtube and i'm like fucking following along in like fast motion in my fucking living room and then slowing it down in post yes i didn't know you were slowing it down oh my gosh it's that's a fucking nightmare yeah well a fucking nightmare i'm not gonna lie you did walk into this uh i did i did it to myself yeah you made your bed but i am glad that right now you have to lie in it because it brings me so much joy to see you in a load of stress.

You know what? It's fine. I'm not even going to fucking grace that with a response. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Hash it out. All right.

Let's hash it out. Hash it out. Actually, let's not because Gianna knows too many of my innermost secrets Let's hear one No no no It's fine we don't have to air it out I don't even know where to start That's the thing she can definitely

She has a treasure trove For podcast listeners or just listeners in general We grew up together We went to the same high school Not all four years but she's seen me at my lowest points and she's seen me at my highest points aka right now filming

the Headcumbe podcast are you kidding me now you're excited to be on the show you're on the show like three out of four episodes a month I love it this one especially is good i trust it ill we're ill prepared for it yeah technical difficulties but that's just part of the course for this kind of groundbreaking podcast no because we started it off we didn't even have to address the technical issues and you put me on blast for

it from the jump that's true now you're fine with them that's yeah because and now i'm kind of caught in a groove of like wow what's the next uh technical difficulty people want to see the raw shit they like that yeah yeah major key alert spread the wealth in terms of joy so basically like if you have a certain amount of social energy to give, make sure you're doling it out throughout the week in a sustainable manner. Don't go out Monday and Tuesday to see people. And then suddenly it's the weekend and you're like, actually, you know, I really need a night in. Because that's when shit happens. You know, you shouldn't have gone out on Monday.

Or if you're going to go Monday and Tuesday, choose one or the other. Does that make sense? You should practice what you preach. We literally went out for trivia on tuesday wednesday wednesday next tuesday too all of us yeah we're going to drunk musicals the poor deuces yeah the poor deuces that's going to be exciting yeah that is going to be exciting good pun too because um if you guys didn't catch that, it's P-O-U-R. We caught it. Okay.

Well, you've seen the written stuff. You've seen the flyers. Some people might not know that it's P-O-U-R. People don't know the concept. They don't get it. Drunk musicals, poor producers. Yeah, what is that? What is that?

It literally doesn't take anyone who is older than 10 to figure it out. For our under 10 listeners, I sorry that was easy that was easy um i i don't know i don't know what kind of energy to bring to this episode because you guys have this like close kinch ip and i just don't i don't know how i fit in and i'm starting to feel a little insecure I'll be honest yeah you honestly should feel insecure yeah you still feel insecure

I want you to feel that way until the end of this episode and actually well beyond the episode I want that insecurity to follow you every waking moment of your life is that all right it follows is about yeah insecurity yeah i don't know why that's the second it follows reference i've made that's the second week in a row i've made an it follows

reference did you watch that movie recently no i saw it three years ago it slaps it's a good one it is good um jana how's your love life um good you have a boyfriend he's cool yeah name first and last jonathan sturmur shout out shout out uh do you got does he go to temple with you how'd you guys meet let's hear the whole story all right let's hear the shebang story ass just the whole story comma ass don't you don't have to say that just say let's hear the whole story yeah you don't have to say that yeah all right like you don't really what else should do i not have to do can you guys give me a list because i don't understand now that you're like narrowing the space that i can play with them you actually don't even have to be on this podcast at all we can probably handle it

yeah actually yeah because we're pretty close and we can kind of like yeah we are yeah but i highly suggest that oh god why don't you talk about um talk about john for a second and i'll figure out what bit i can do. Okay. Me and John met. Okay. Well, I guess I should start with Stacey. This all starts with Stacey. This is already, we're in too deep. We're in too deep.

We are in too deep. We don't have to talk about that. All the people need to know is that you're dating a handsome man and his name is John. He has the best name ever. Yes. Yeah. That's facts. Yeah. They don't need to know everything. that you're dating a handsome man and his name is john he has the best name ever yes yeah that's facts yeah they don't need to know everything we're giving them too much already i need to what is the uh what is the picture that is hanging above your head right now yo i need to address this i'm putting out a fucking press release about this because I got some disparaging comments.

Yeah, you did. You did. About me being shoogie. I was the forerunner for those. Yeah. Thank you for starting that. But yeah, I got some disparaging comments about this fucking live, laugh, love sign. And I would like to say to the people that this is my parents' house.

Yeah. to say to the people that this is my parents' house. And when you talk shit on that live, laugh, love sign, you're talking shit on my two very hardworking, sweet parents. I'm not choogy. You're being a fucking asshole. Wow. Oh, shit. Oh, shit.

Oh, nice. Jeffrey's still here. All right, Jeffrey, you can come back now. I do feel bad that i financial planning personal finance let's get into it how do you guys manage your cash one way or the other are you good with money or you're not let's start with jana uh actually i i i do want to interject a little bit um we in our friend group chat from back home we recently did a poll across just we asked everybody a few questions about everybody else in the group chat one of the questions was who is the worst with money and it was gianna

unequivocally she is the worst with money jonna what's what's the biggest purchase you've made in the last month and what was it um in the last that was the same question back to back i meant how much was it i just spent like three hundred dollars on clothes yeah that's like usually what it is it's it's all clothes um i bought my car not too long ago so that was like a big purchase i don't have a license so i bought a car exactly and i don't have a driver's license it's cute though it's a cute little blue miata it was sexy i was gonna make a joke about it being a miata that's very funny yeah so yeah and it was also wait when did you buy this car uh a few months ago maybe october sept, yeah. So it's like already getting Okay. It was already getting

cold. Correct. And it's You don't know if it was correct. She said it was, and it's her life so she's right. Fine. All I wanted to say was the Miata is a drop top, and she bought it

at the start of the colder months, which makes it even worse that it was just an ill-timed purchase. You can't drive. Listen, everybody keeps talking shit on the fucking Miata, but when you want to roll down to the beach in the Barbie dream car,

don't hit my line. That's fair. Don't hit my line. I do want to hit the beach in the Barbie dream car Pretty bad Johnny what you have to do is you have to wear a crop top With a jock sock in the drop top And then you have to make a stop At a mom and shop mom and pop shop

We should say You don't have to rhyme everything It doesn't make you cooler I haven't yet until just then and then we're going to move on Okay so yeah Why don't we just move on from that horrible rhyme that you just assaulted us with really damn daniel craig is out as james bond bonds of the week gianna we're doing this new segment bond of the week uh Gianna, we're doing this new segment, Bond of the week. Daniel Craig is out.

We don't know who's in. Every week until the next James is cast, we're going to lob up our casting options as the new James, the new 007. So who do you want to see as Bond in the next couple movies? You know, I've never seen a James Bond movie, but I've heard people say idris elba a lot yeah that's been like a conversation right yeah knuckles i feel like that could be good i don't

know i don't really know what james bond's whole deal is who is a cool celebrity to you he's just cool he's a cool dude i don't know you're gonna have to get back to me yeah because i was thinking ty burrell ty burrell phil dunphy has modern family yeah he's sort of funny yeah but like james bond is not really supposed to be i guess he's like witty and charming but yeah exactly like so is phil don't be yeah okay yeah exactly or you know who could be good you know it could be good what who stewie griffin so stewie griffin that'd be hilarious fictional fictional by the way it's not a real person okay i know only this james bond but yeah i know you watch television and assume everything is real in front of you, but Stewie Griffin is not.

Succession is based off the Murdochs, so it is real. A lot of pitches are based off of real experience that happened to the writers, actually. Yeah, but Family Guy. Family Guy, remember? We're talking about Stewie Griffin. It's like some things are real and some things are not. Yeah. I know.

You're having trouble making that distinction. No, I get it. Okay. okay johnny who's your bond of the week bond of the week any science majors out here ionic bond no oh okay then i guess i would go for um someone who's like really cool yeah yeah it would probably be like i think it would kind of be me i think i could be no way yeah no way yeah i think i would be a pretty good bond i just watched the last bond yeah and uh that was the only one I watched And I think I kind of got what was going on Sure Yeah like So you understood No Time to Die And that's why you think you'd be a good James Bond

Yeah I mean like I saw M as this kind of maternal figure So I think my mom could be cast as M I do have a whole casting list Like Q could be Like my dad or some shit have a whole casting list. Q could be my dad or some shit like that. So you're just casting your family? I mean, I guess it's kind of

a coincidence that they fit those kinds of roles and those kinds of descriptions and breakdowns. I wouldn't say the breakdown for M is a maternal figure. You're talking about the head of MI6, the British Intelligence Agency. And wouldn't you say your mom is kind about the head of MI6 The British Intelligence Agency And wouldn't you say your mom is kind of

The head of the household sometimes Sure but that's not That's such a loose connection Between those two Like M has to be like In control Yeah my mom Yes a lot of that's like every mom

I'm just saying that it's like you can be a great mom okay fine ahead of an intelligence okay fine i i guess your mom could also be m if she wanted to that's not what you want two m's and it's you're in my mom's yes is that fine no that's a horrible casting decision okay this is so let's move on yeah this three-person episode is going great. Get your head in the game. Yeah. Yeah.

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Again, that's drinkag1.com slash whatsthat. Check it out. We can move on to our first segment. Let's just do that. This is not how I wanted it to go. This is the first segment now? That was not the... I meant to play this.

Are you guys familiar with the supply chain issue? What supply chain issue? What? So the Suez Canal being backed up also just as a result has pushed back a lot of timelines for manufacturing and business because we live in a global economy yeah and what was that yeah i said but it's oddly but i do want to say that it's oddly serious for a uh comedy podcast i've been telling you guys i'm trying to get more wise so I've been reading a ton about

this stuff, man. I mean, everything has to get places just so. I don't know if you saw a documentary that came out a couple years ago about people who work on these cargo ships. It's incredibly stressful because there's so much money involved. There's so much power involved.

And it's like, at the hands of capitalism like the individual doesn't matter right like you just become a cog um and so the supply chain issue in my view is an argument for localization right local produce local products but that's not the world we live in we live in a world with the supply chain that is fucked up right now so i thought we could what's the game i thought it's not a game i thought we could kind of fix it okay so all right so so this is this is the supply chain as we know it no way you've made this can start let's start with the consumer right what gianna what's something you want or need right now product wise and you can be honest uh and you can gianna close new clothes what kind of clothes one one item one one item let's just for argument's sake leather pants i love leather pants

okay leather pants as the supply chain currently stands, you are the consumer. You demand pants. If you want to start from the bottom and then end up where we're here being you buying the, getting the pants, it's raw materials, right? Leather, hides. That comes from cows. Suddenly logistics lead to the supplier, right? And it's all logistics. So that's communication back and forth.

That's, you know, the supplier of hides. Did you study this? Like, did you like do a lot of research on this just for this segment because it feels like a lot of research for a segment that undeniably is going to be boring to some of our listeners yeah i'm kind of wondering where the joke is gonna be yeah you know what i'm fucking sick of doing this show every week everybody demanding jokes why can't we talk about something real that's interesting to me that's wise we are we did talk about something real we talked about our personal lives we talked about stuff like that we did still you seem to we talked about bond of the week we don't have

any say in casting how's that real this is every day every day this is happening whether we know we don't have any say in this either yeah we don't have any say in this well can we just do it come on it's friday i don't want to have to do come up with something on the fly okay fine why don't you continue the segment and then see try to get some more of our participation because it seems like you're just lecturing right now. Chime in. I want your thoughts. Raw materials, hides, tanned leather goods. It starts with the skin of cows

and there's no way around that. Unless you're talking vegan leather, which is a different conversation. There are ways around it. You said there's no way around it, but there is a way around it. In this instance, if she wants genuine leather, that's the raw material is cows being slaughtered for meat and the skin being used for leather suddenly the leather is brought from the

farm to a supplier who specializes in hides okay are you with me that's all i'm with you i'm with that is all logistics from the supplier goes the manufacturer, right? Where the supplier... Uh-huh. The supplier, again through logistics, sends the hides

to a manufacturer who turns the hides into pants. Man, that's logistics. There's no way around that. It's logistics. Okay. As it stands, which is part of the problem. From the manufacturer are born the trousers.

Awful way to put it. That's such a weird way to put it. What you're looking at when you're in this space where the pants are in a warehouse of the manufacturer uh who knows where the leather belt is in this country that's that's where that's where the buck stops for me uh but they're at this point in the supply chain there's just boxes and boxes of leather pants which gianna wants as the consumer how is it going to get from how is it going to get from the manufacturer How is it going to get from the manufacturer to Gianna?

That's where logistics comes in. So the distributor enters the frame just a little bit, and then fully the frame after a while. Unnecessary. So you don't have to say that. Just say the distributor enters the frame. And also speed up,

because obviously the segment is dragging along. Let's gianna wants to get them from madewell you know let's sorry if that's offensive gianna but uh it's not just gonna be stocked on shelves you know just because it's in a manufacturer's warehouse it has to get there so through logistics it's shipped via a distributor right so whether that's a dhl whether that's a fedex uh it has to get there some way or the company if it's big enough or smart enough might have their own trucks and use shipping companies right so suddenly through logistics and there's no way around that these trucks are trucking them to the retailer right that's all that's all communication that's all emails this phone calls that logistics suddenly now the shelves are stocked with leather pants now madewell has the opportunity to connect with the consumer the consumer being gianna and

that is also that doesn't logistics i don't i really wish i had stuff to contribute to this segment but man you're just i'm at a loss yeah you're so uh knowledgeable about something that we really can't wax about like not even have any funny asides or anything like that so you i mean is this just an ad for madewell uh i keep seeing these billboards in Brooklyn that say that you're seven minutes from jeans. And it's just a Madewell billboard that's like, you're here. Our store is here. And it sounds like a threat. Yeah.

So anyway, at this point in the conversation, Gianna walks into a Madewell. Leather pants are there because of this chain and mostly logistics. There's no way around that. OK. So that's sort of the world that we're living in you you're not just what you're not living in a world where you walk to main street anymore oh you know you go to the tanner and he has pants that he got from his farm made into leather pants himself and as and it's going to sell to you to the consumer that that

would be localization which i'm for but doesn't exist um Doesn't exist anywhere. I don't care what anybody says. It's all supply chain. It's all logistics and there's no way around it here. And do you guys see what's fucked up about this? No, but we don't really care, right? Like we've been, I've been expressing my distaste for the segment and also the anger that just laden within me about this show and about being around you all the time and I

genuinely hope that what you have to say next is going to be somewhat insightful or moderately funny to kind of save the segment as it stands this is how I see the

supply chain being fixed all right the fucked up part about how it stands right now is that it is too global a ship getting stuck in a canal shouldn't be the reason why gianna can't get for lack of a better term britches leather or otherwise she should be able to walk to her local tanner in my opinion, so that you can shop local. You can shop small American Express style. Here's how we might get there. Baby steps. Keep in mind, this is all baby steps because you're not going to go from a global economy to the local economy like that.

You know, you're not going to go from gas powered vehicles to EVs like that. This doesn't make you wise, by the way. I just want you to know that. Let's go through the leather pants through my version. Okay. Gianna, still the consumer, wants leather pants. She's craving them. That's the difference.

Instead of demanding, she's craving. Demand and crave are very, very close. Very, very close. And also... Yeah. Yeah, what's. And also... Yeah. Yeah, what's the difference? What are you getting at? As it stands, the consumer demands...

Don't go back. Don't go back. Just push forward. If I had my druthers, the consumer would crave. Because it's going to take a certain hunger to have any sort of structural change in our economy in the way that products are delivered to people like Gianna.

Is that fair to say? Yes. Gianna craves pants. Whatever will make you go. Raw materials still necessary. Yeah. Because you're not going to just have pants. You have to have the material that creates the pants.

So that's the leather. And that's from a farm or whatever. Okay. From there, it takes tons of planning. Which, by the way, is part of logistics. Planning is part of logistics. I'm actually just going to steamroll through this. Necessary communication, also just a huge part of logistics in general.

Skilled drivers, I guess, is logistics. It's a little simpler. It's really just can you drive a truck do you have a license yeah so it's continue but continue i see what you're saying i can't okay well the way that okay so if anything the way you put it makes it even more of a logistical uh logistical issue and also necessary arrangements and then vend whatever the hell that means well yes sell sell yeah sell yeah sell sell sell not funny okay you can stop now and then yeah it's pretty much all logistics right i'll give you tons of planning i'll give you necessary communication i'll give you skilled

drivers necessary arrangements to me it feels a little more playful than logistics it's more like well i'll make the necessary arrangements and it's like you're finding someone a christmas present so that's or you're setting a reservation for bay you know john let's so you're talking you're comparing uh driving a ups truck or dhl truck driving to a retailer to picking out a christmas present for bay that is not that is they're incomparable and necessary arrangements from a dhl truck to a retailer that is logistics yeah this is not how i thought this was gonna go i thought you guys a i did think you guys would be a little bit more knowledgeable in this and you've admitted to not knowing jack shit about it so i have to take everything you're would be a little bit more knowledgeable in this, and you've admitted to not knowing jack shit about it, so I have to take everything you're saying with a grain of salt.

But also, you're making some good points, but it is lucky. They are lucky guesses. And do you recognize that? I recognize... Why would we know about this? Yeah. We work at a podcast network.

So do I! I'm a journalism major. I was a film major. Why should I know about supply chain? But here we are talking about it intelligently. Why a film major why should i know about supply chain but here we are talking about it why should you why should you know i guarantee if somebody went to if anybody listening has an nba they know that i'm speaking wise i guarantee you are you qualified to speak about this are you qualified to speak about this you don't have any kind of credentials if anything you went on reddit explain like I'm five, and then you kind of just going

through the motions of reading through the supply chain thread. A business admin degree. What is that? Does that qualify somebody to talk about any of this? Yeah, but you don't have. Yes, I'm no, I'm saying I because I disagree. I think that it's all bullshit. All of this is nonsense.

You want to talk about this not being a right fit for this podcast? It's the perfect fit for this podcast because people overcomplicate nonsense. And this show, I'm trying to get it down to a base level. This is too much. This isn't good to hear or see or to be. Exactly. Yes. I agree with you on a philosophical

level but on a literal level this just is like not funny this is not the reaction this is not fun it's not fun either keep going defend yourself please fine let's just move on

then we have more to get to anyways thank god and i'm sure you guys just don't feel proud of what you just did i'm not proud of what we just did because if anything we just we're just terrorizing our listeners with terrible segments don't sit like that don't sit all relaxed like you're uh you should be on edge right now so John I hope you're having a decent time on the podcast I know that it's a little hard to kind of be around Jeff all the time

I mean I know it more than anybody else but I hope you're not that song was so fucking long I'm having a great time though yeah you don't have to lie it's okay alright Jeff I'm having a great time though Yeah you don't have to lie it's okay Alright Jeff What do you got next

I'm getting comfortable You should have gotten comfortable before we started recording I was and then it changed Then it changed Why is that relatable Gianna Do you like reality TV I fucking love reality TVna do you like reality tv i fucking love reality tv perfect

johnny do you watch reality tv yes i love hgtv which is somewhat a step removed from reality but yeah uh the furniture is real i love hgtv which is a step beyond reality but the furniture is real what a horrible sentence well listen I in a very vague way I work in content here used to more than I do now but we're talking about what we

can do on the video side of things and also on the TV side of things you know whether the TV side of things, whether we're going to turn HeadGum Originals into TV shows. We haven't yet, but maybe we will in the future. I'm saying skip that step because some of these podcasts work better as podcasts than they would as TV shows.

I'm wondering if we get into the easiest TV game, which is reality, and if we kind of come up with a couple reality show pitches, the three of us, that we can bring to the content team and say, let's take this out. I'll start with I'll start. And then you guys have any or. Yeah, I have a few.

You asked me to prepare a few. Yeah. And can't wait for you to hear them. So go on, Jeff. Hoarding with the Hurwitzes. OK, so it's a reality show that follows the New Haven Hurwitz's as they collect and stockpile bric-a-brac and that would be kind of a keeping up

with the Kardashians meets hoarders and it'd be a little bit of a twist though because hoarders is kind of about people who have certain I think mental illnesses honestly but with this it's them who are not prone to hoarding and the show is making them hoard.

What are they hoarding specifically? You said... Brick-a-brack. Knick-knacks. Brick-a-brack. Knick-knacks. Yeah, stuff like that. Boxes of trinkets, in a way.

Okay, so you said it's keeping up with the Kardashians mixed with hoarders. It's just following their lives as people who hoard things. I don't think that's really interesting. It's mostly just following them, and then there's this weird tertiary thing where every episode it's them getting another box of shit. It's an unboxing. That could be a YouTube series.

It's a reverse unboxing. Yeah, they're just putting stuff in their house. It's like reverse unboxing. Yeah, they're just putting stuff in their house. Where's like the emotional journey? Like when you watch Hoarders, it's like so that you can get that catharsis at the end when they like are no longer a hoarder. Where's the journey here?

Yeah. That's a good point, Gianna. There might not. Yeah. There might not be a journey in this one, but if you're looking for a journey, I do have an idea for that. That's very journey focused. focused okay why don't you say that then epics villa okay have you guys seen epic villas yes so this would be epics villa so it's a show that follows johnny on an odys Odyssey on Epix? The show is, hopefully, we want to land it at Epix,

but it's also you going on an epic. It's Epic Villa meets Ulysses. Oh, okay. Like you as Odysseus. No, it'd be Johnny as Johnny, but he maybe gets distracted by sirens at some point. Okay. I would watch the fuck out of that.

This feels more like a fictional series like not no yeah not so it would basically be like you show up on day one and there's this whole odyssey set up for you to kind of go through and like we all know the hero's journey structure but it would like so you have a loose idea of what's going to happen like you will make it home eventually but it's like survivor yeah honestly it's epic villas meets ulysses meets survivor all right i am actually completely on board with this idea yeah the one thing i do not want is to be with epics i think that's the one deal breaker i got yeah that's well that's i'm walking if we don't land with epics then because the whole point is that it's Epics Villa instead of Epic Villas yeah but

actually a quick note on the title you can't put a trademark name in the title I understand yeah what about MSNBC MSNBC Villa no I'm saying like what about NBC News NBC News is on NBC

yeah because they're part of the same company. The same parent company. I'm saying Epix Villa on Epix. So it would be the parent company or whatever. Yeah, but like... But I thought this was like a HeadGum show. Well, it would be... It would be pitched to reality or just to television networks. It'd still be on TV.

Yeah, there's such a slim chance that we'd get this picked up, one. And also an even slimmer chance that we would land with epics. Alright, then forget that one. Okay, fine. Let's hear one of yours, Johnny. Okay, this one was the best idea I had. How old are you, Jeffrey?

I'm 24. Okay, you're 24. What is your natural citizenship? America. Okay, you're 24. What is your natural citizenship? America. Okay. Yeah. Have you lived in the United States for over 14 years? Yeah.

Okay. So this show is called Jeffrey 2032. And this is the first year, Jeffrey, that you're able to actually run for president of the United States. We can finally start putting some of those patreon dollars to use uh fund some very very small stage campaign in some random town that's already a campaign by finance violation but yeah did you know that a dog recently became elected mayor this is like two years ago i think do you know about that

in idle wild i don't remember the place but it seems like you do idle wild has had a dog mayor for like 20 years yeah yeah and you know how politicians are just glorified dogs right yeah sure imagine if we can just run the gambit gamut hop sorry it's run the gamut not gambit gambit. It's gamut round the game It is scam and G a M UT, but I'm gonna have to go with Jeff on this one. Okay well That really did throw the pitch entirely Like this kind of was like not kind of my world is crumbling before my very eyes because Graham really didn't even say shit

about this okay that was it makes me feel like it's fine just power through yeah but now I'm like you're looking for thinking about the game that's the idea because we haven't even gotten to it no it's like gambit gambit I don't know like you've seen the queen's gambit on Netflix the queen's gambit yeah nope yeah so it's a one-to-one confusion for you well eventually we'll run the gamut and eventually work our way up to a seat in the white house why did you say it like that so it's a campaign trail docu-series that's a not reality tv and b not gonna. It is kind of reality television. You know how there's a sliver of fiction in every reality television series?

Yeah. Yeah, so we have... Would the fiction here be that I didn't get a White House seat, but we're saying in the show that I did? No, no, no. You will get the White House seat. And I'm just saying that we're just going to kind of... Also, White House seat doesn't exist.

I think I just said that. That would just be the presidency. Yeah, the presidency in the Oval Office. Okay. Yeah. So that's my idea. Your idea is follow me as I get elected president. Correct.

Yeah. It's not going to happen. I think it could happen. Genuinely. You have to at least pitch it in a way where it's like, whether he gets the presidency or not, it'll still be interesting. Yeah. I mean, like, we'll follow your campaign trail and God forbid you lose, which you probably won't. If you do happen to lose, then we can just next few seasons will just be you starting from scratch again for the next four years.

And I think this is a very sustainable series because you're very young. You're very spry. And you know how these old folks are getting into the presidency game. Joe Biden's, what, 107 years old or some shit like that? 78, yeah. I don't have any experience. I don't have any interest in this.

So, you know, there's so many arguments to be made against me as a candidate that I would also agree with. Uh-huh. Right. Well, I mean, would you argue that, and I don't mean to bring him up, open up that old wound, but would you argue that the dog mayor had the... Any interest.

Yeah, the kind of interest or anything like that. That's, this show would already have more legs if you were saying that I was running for mayor because maybe I would have interest in that and could actually do it of a small town. Fine.

Jeffrey for mayor, we could do. And then we just ramp it up in a spinoff series. Jeffrey for council. Council's lower than the mayor, but yeah. All right.

Not a bad idea. We got to a good place with it. Okay. What about Glove Island? Half hotties, half full bodies. um all right not a bad idea we got to a good place with it okay um what about glove island half hotties half full bodies everyone in chunky sweater and sweaters and winter clothes who is hot who is not find out on glove island love island meets 90 day fiance how does it meet 90 Day Fiancé? Because wasn't there that really ugly looking dude? There was. Yeah. So it's half hotties, half bodies?

This is not a body positive show, we should say. Yeah, I was just going to say that sounded fucked up to me. Yeah, so this is definitely not going to sell on television. I mean, they do say all mean they do say what if we got Amy Sherman Palladino attached as EP because she loves making fun of who's Amy Sherman

Palladino really who the fuck is that she created Gilmore Girls she created Gilmore Girls and Marvelous Mrs. Maisel oh well so many fat phobic jokes in her shows it's oh interesting so maybe yeah I think if

we can get her backing behind it she could probably she hasn't been in the reality space yet so she might be interested I also think that there's a logistical issue because I think you can still tell what someone's body type is even if they're wearing a sweater

yeah I think Gianna yeah pretty right about that Wow so yeah you should probably be more body positive and the fact that I came up with that I am it's just a it's just a show yeah but like the fact that the inkling was in your head and passed through like several layers of consciousness before you put it down on paper or wrote it down somewhere just kind of just paints a picture about you and your values but uh i think like you have a solid pitch um i think you just need to scrap it entirely yeah yeah um sorry about that yeah that's fine do you want to hear my pitch yeah yeah okay let's just move on uh hexgium what hexgium that's a pokemon you know neck do you guys remember nexium yeah nexium

the cult that was just recently busted uh for yeah a lot of charges money laundering racketeering and fraud to name the lowest uh lowest charges overall very bad group of guys it was like a self-help thing right yeah like self-help right but it was a cult yeah but that said now that they're busted there is a huge gap in the market for a cult to take their place their practices are actually available through uh for public consumption through their court documents so we can see exactly how they coerce people into joining something you know bigger than they think um bigger than they are bigger than they think or bigger than they think yeah bigger than they think it's kind of both yeah

you would never be able to be a cult leader because you're selling it as do you want to be part of something bigger than you think uh no oh sorry I'm thinking that we have a pretty

Huge talent roster at HeadGum That could host this I think we could have Finn Wolfhard Be the figurehead since she already has such a big following We can start looking In places where people feel like they don't belong Like At HeadGum Live

Or Gaming Conventions or Comic Con Or some shit like that What was that first one? Sorry What was that? one sorry i said what was that a gaming convention no you said head gum live the live shows oh did i did i say that which you're actually factually incorrect because those are probably filled with people who it is filled with people who connect on the same thing because they all came for that thing oh so they all when they're there they feel like they do belong oh okay so like

gaming conventions though comic con again they're all connected you think that's a good idea or no I'm trying to run the game yeah let's move on is that the entire idea

yeah that's the entire idea is it a show or you just want to start a cult this is a show we'll follow follow the rise of Hedgeum it could also be called anything it could just be called Hedgeum it doesn't have to rhyme with Nixium

yeah but I like the name Nixium a lot I think that was pretty catchy okay and and and hexgium hexgium catchy yeah yeah it's kind of like so like uh harsh sounding to a point where you have to remember it yeah yeah no one knows how to spell it, so they can't Google it. Okay. Yeah. Well, you have another, you have another oddballs and vaginal walls, tons of hot chicks and a bunch of freaks try to make things work. Get him to the Greek meets beauty and the geek hosted by Russell Brand. Hosted by Russell Brand.

I watch it. Honestly. There's no way we don't have, we don't have access to Russell Brand, Russell Brand at all. He's free. He's a veil. He's definitely a veil. Yeah. It don't have access to Russell Brand at all. He's free. He's a veil. He's definitely a veil. Yeah, it doesn't matter.

We still have to go through his agent, and we don't even know if he's going to want to talk to us and all that. How hard could it be to get a meeting with Brand to say, Hey, offer, by the way, we are offering you the role of host of Oddballs and Vaginal Walls. He was kind of fucked up. Really? Or like washed up. What does he do now?

He does inspirational talks. Is that what he does? See, you can get Russell Brand. Actually, I would love to get Brand on this show. My goal for this show of next year is to get like really big guests. That would be insane. I'd love that. That would be insane. It's hard.

Every time you have a big guest on a podcast though it's like nerve-wracking and not fun yeah especially this podcast which um for lack of a better term assaults every guest uh johnny do you have any more ideas or do you have any ideas uh i don't know you go you go i just want to say i would watch the fuck out of whatever that show that you just said was one of the great joys in life and i think is um watching like hot girls and their ugly little boyfriends exist that's a good reality i think it's a's a good idea it is my next idea is called gumshoes

so Jeffrey you and I are going to solve crimes I don't think it gets it doesn't get any simpler than that there are a lot of cold case files that are available in public domain so we just find that and we're kind of on our way and the whole season can

revolve around a specific case just like overarching plot like a missing dog or a stolen wallet yeah with a bunch of mini cases along the way like we're stopping jaywalkers or people who are skating i mean don't go up to skateboarders and say stop i mean sometimes they have you seen the signs no skating in a skate in a no skate zone yeah i mean it's that's like building managers being cops yeah but i think we could we don't i also don't like the word cops i think cops yeah cops are just like there's such a bad connotation what you and i are crime fighters really or detectives gumshoes really and you don't want to write this as like a sitcom like there's so there's so much room there if you and i are like detectives freelance that could be really funny if it was scripted and absurd.

Instead, you want to actually try and solve cold case files, which we don't have any detective backgrounds. It's also so disrespectful. Disrespectful to who? Like, these are real people. Yeah, their families survived them. It's so disrespectful. real people yeah their families survive them i think we can do right by them you think like no way on paper it's kind of disrespectful i think i understand where you're coming from

slightly i understand but if we can solve these what kind of people we can't that's why it's disrespectful because we think we can figure it out you do and we can't you have such little faith in this bitch how am i gonna have you as my partner in crime don't tell people in the room even if we did take this out don't tell people in the room you have such little faith in this bitch what bad etiquette you think this sucks doesn't don't you um actually we kind of liked it but that was really aggressive so now we're not sure about working with you really um is that the end of it yeah that. Those are my big pitches. All right. This isn't reality television, but I've been waiting for an opportunity to pitch my version of The Notebook without the old people.

Because I think that the old people fucking ruined The Notebook. How? Because... I haven't seen The Notebook, but don't they provide some sort of conflict between the two lovers in the notebook well the plot is like you see these old people at the beginning and they're old and the lady has dementia and there's like this old man and he's reading her this story don't look at your phone he's just thinking he's thinking hard about the old people and he reads her the story and then you get like flashbacks to the 40s and it's like you know this beautiful love story at the end you find out that you know

the whole love story that you've been watching is the old people's love story and he's been reading it to her so that she can remember and then at the end they they die together. And, you know, whatever. Isn't that still cute? No. It's a romance movie, right? But old people are off putting in not sexy. Oh, okay. So that's where your standpoint is.

No clapping. No need to clap for that. Old people suck. Old people do suck. It's a beautiful love story in and of itself. If you watched the movie, you would understand this. You don't need the old people to sell the love story. There's no way that I stand alone on this.

Like, this is such a weird stance that you guys are taking. They also don't look like the young actors. Some bias. Yeah, you do. Everybody needs one bias. And for me, it's old people. One good phobia. I hate kids. Oh my God.

That's a hot take. Yeah, that's awesome. You can't hate old people and kids. They're not our future. Like our future is like me. You, so narcissistic. You have a God complex.

You said you'd be James Bond. You also said you'd solve cold case files we're all narcissists gianna spent three hundred dollars on a coat or something or something yeah she spent three hundred dollars on clothes that doesn't make her a narcissist i don't i have a pair of thousand dollar shoes okay that makes you a narcissist by the way my boyfriend got them. So John's rich. He got a stimmy.

He spent half the stimulus check on your shoes. Wow. What about this? Dancing with the cars. Professional dancers pair up with various Mazdas in this ballroom dancing competition featuring horseless carriages. St starring Gianna Kinchin. Don't stroke her ego.

She likes the fact that she's going to dance with a Mazda. No, she's not going to dance. She's going to host. She's the Tyra Banks of Dancing with the Cars. I am Tyra Banks. Well, I didn't say that. I said you would fill Tyra's role. Yeah, we're all narcissists.

She's just as host. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I fuck with that. All right. And then my last one is Amir's fears. Louis Amir Blumenfeld faces a new fear every episode. Fear factor meets biggest loser.

Why is the biggest loser involved? Not the show. Just he is kind of the world's biggest loser why is the biggest loser not the show just he is the world's biggest okay that's just a title for him yeah oh my gosh well that one is just a mean mean pitch i don't even if the people in the pitching room whatever the hell it's called uh even if they didn't know who amir blumenfeld was they'd realize that it's just a mean-spirited pitch towards somebody else you're like antagonizing somebody else all right all right like you you hear what i'm saying and you don't want to do the pitch anymore or like you shot it down it's over yeah it's over I hope this I hope this taught us all a very good lesson about ourselves

that we're all very narcissistic I think we should probably go to therapy or something I don't know. Plugs. Gianna, what do you have going on? What do you want to point the people to?

So this is how you want to end the show with such sour energy? This is just bad energy. Sorry. Don't be so... Now you're carrying it over to us and it's kind of... It's actually ruining the mood a lot. What do you

want from me, man? You want me to be smiling when I'm feeling absolute poison on the inside from you like a professional performer will turn that off separate whatever negative energy they have

and just try to turn it into something positive okay like who like who do you think Miley Cyrus does that absolutely she does yes because she's a professional all right are you a professional I am okay so

bring the positive energy all right there we go see what do you want to point the people to okay your eyes are watering but that's okay you can just push through it it's it's i'm having i'm i'm i'm happy okay can i do my fucking plug yeah thanks follow me on Instagram at Gianna, G-I-O-N-N-A. Tell me that I am a delicate flower. Tell me that. No. No way.

Tell me that gazing upon my face brings meaning to your otherwise meaningless life. Wow. You're on the wrong platform. Tell me that in the comments. Yeah. Tell me that in the comments yeah tell me that in the comments we'll see I mean last time I'm just seeing how far I could take it listen

last time people did it you guys better fucking do it or else I'm gonna look stupid make her look stupid please Johnny follow me on Instagram at Johnny V J O H N N Y

V I I E and that's it at Jeffery James on Instagram at Jeff Byard on Twitter and we have some special HeadGum podcast episodes coming in the next three weeks so look out for those we have a two-parter I believe

for the holidays holiday special extravaganza. Nice. It'll be good. Until then, have a great weekend, but not too great. Terrible way to end it. No, because you want to have stuff to look forward to. When we did the live show in New York, I was depressed for two weeks after that. No, no, no.

Because it was such a high and then I went from there to a physical low being in my basement apartment and I was like sad. That was a HeadGum Original.