The Headgum Podcast - 86: Mint or Naw

Episode Date: January 21, 2022

Jake, Micah, and Marika join Geoff to discuss faux news, Zabar's, and NFTs! BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify. Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. Do you guys want to stay together? What's the plan? Oh yeah, how about you guys decide for us? I say stay together, but for no other reason than to just have way too many kids and traumatize them. That's good. Sounds awful. It seems challenging to move right now, so yeah, I guess stay together.

For how long do you think? Well, you don't have to put a date on it or an expiration. Well, as soon as things free up. So like another few weeks, maybe? Well, I don't know. We don't really know. But hopefully, ideally, yeah. I mean, the mask mandate is going to stay.

Who says? Plus with the variants. Maybe you can move with a mask. The infection rate's down below one. I know, but we just don't know with the variants if the vaccines sort of cover all the mutations. Right, but we just don't know with the variants if the vaccines sort of cover all the mutations. Right, but we're sort of

all in the same boat. So it doesn't have to be me and you in that situation. It can be me with whoever and you on your own. I mean, the science. It could be Abita with anybody in a mirror room.

Exactly. Or me with anybody. What? No. No, that's funny. A mirror. That's actually really funny what did he say we need to get some sort of animation for that what we need is higher production value it's like this show makes so much money and you guys don't ever throw anything i'm sorry to get started off so angry but like mike is selling ads out the wazoo. He's working as hard as he fucking can.

Jake is at the helm. He's fucking captaining the ship to freedom and glory. And Marika, what are you doing? What are you doing to help the show? For the past two weeks, I've been doing your job of uploading it, at the very least. Get him.

Up kabop, Asali. least get them um let's get into shit let's get into it uh jake you had covid yeah uh you recounted on if i were you and just before we started recording that you were attacked by an orthodontist. Yes, I was accosted by a dentist, by a dental surgeon. I don't want to repeat the story for everybody that's already heard it on if I were you, but let's just say I was kept awake through a very torturous wisdom teeth extraction wherein they sawed and cracked my teeth in half and pulled them out piecemeal. Yeah. They did that for both teeth? Yes. Top and bottom. They basically left me for dead.

Is that a method? Is that like a known dental surgery method? It seemed like it is, but it's a last ditch effort. Yeah. She, after the top one, she asked if I wanted to leave. She was like, you don't have to do the second one because she knew how bad it was. But at that point, you wanted to give them COVID. Yeah, exactly.

My retaliation. Marika, any new hobbies? I have here in my notes for wax, I've been putting talking points in here. We just kind of knocked out Jake's wisdom teeth. And like he said, I don't want to rehash it too much because we almost done 100% overlap between the show and his show. But let's talk about your hobbies.

Sure. I don't know. I think most of my hobbies have had to take a pause because of COVID. Last week. Yeah. But I did finally go outside to see a musical that was closing. So that was exciting for me. In a theater?

In a theater. I saw Flying Over Sunset, which was a musical about a bunch of old Hollywood people doing LSD. So it was cool. That's cool. Yeah. Other than that, I don't know. Like, I really want to go back to doing archery, but I'm, like, too scared to go there right now.

I guess I could. I don't think that's, like, the worst place to go. Yeah. That seems like there's lots of space because you have to fire arrows a long distance. Yeah. Yeah. Is it inside or outside?

It's outside or inside. Sorry. Well, I mean, the good news for you, and I think that we can, you know, people are hearing it here first. You know, who often gives their recommendations for COVID, the CDC. Now the HeadGum podcast is doing it. We can officially announce that covid 19 is endemic nice yeah oh my god that's huge this is amazing oh that means it's it's it's ending it's over so what it means is that uh it's gonna we're gonna live with it right so the flu is the same

flu as the spanish flu it just evolves and we live with it people die of it you know six yeah six figures the numbers in the six figures of people who die from the flu every year that'll probably continue with uh covid but we're gonna live with it we're not gonna live in fear of it and uh i'm so happy that we get to be the ones to break the news we shouldn't be right yeah what's that we shouldn't be right we shouldn't be right what's that? we shouldn't be happy that it's endemic we shouldn't be breaking the news or we shouldn't even be claiming to break any news ever

I see that point also but at the same time I don't like to I don't want to rain on Jeff's parade it feels like I'm okay with breaking news as long as it's like really positive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that's awesome to hear.

And it feels good for me to know that. You're going to love this, Jake. You're going to love the next piece of news that we're going to break. Great. Single payer universal health care is here. No way. To stay? To stay.

It's called James Careames care no shit yeah how did we are we breaking that news we're breaking the passing a health care like bill or there's no bill not even on the horizon or in the senate but we can still break news. Like you can break news and crack wise and it doesn't have to all be real. Uh, so we're, it's break. I get it now. Uh,

I don't like calling it that. Faux news. Faux news is really good. Sort of like faux leather. Yeah. It's, it's a little easier to, to say and to hear. It's truly phone news yeah phone news no news is phone news no

um i guess we should get this out of the way too he's not here but it is amir's birthday let's move on nice um micah what's new with you are you excited you told me that you're taking an all-inclusive trip to jamaica yeah sure and are you excited about that or pumped yeah first weekend in february it's uh no not the first one okay second uh yeah it's a it's a later weekend of february that'll be second? Or let's nail it down. How do you need to know this? Can I ask what all-inclusive means? Everything is paid for.

Right. Up front. So like meals while you're at the resort, like poolside service, drinks, everything. You just say your room number. It's all included in the bill. It's like Club Med. You guys ever go to Club Med? No.

It's an all-inclusive resort. More of a Sandals family. Yeah. Never went on a family vacation. Yeah. I also actually haven't been to Sandals. We're dropping bombs left then right then center

maybe you could go on Micah's family vacation that'd be cool if you have room for one more or I can replace anyone you even I love Marika and Liv going. Oh my God.

Going on an international, but also Dutch. Have you guys ever gone Dutch in Amsterdam? Yeah. I went there with Blumenfeld. And you split the bill. May he rest in peace. And we split the bill. Yeah.

I thought he was born in 1982 so I thought this was 40 Judd Apatow style he's 39 that's like kind of the worst age I would agree because you're like I wouldn't say 39 is still your 30s but it's not your 40s you're not over the hill

you don't get to really celebrate holy shit like yeah you're not close enough to 40 to realize that 39 is actually a good birthday it feels like oh wow we got one more year to live it up because when you're 40 it's over there's no turning back yeah you're basically dead so um yeah micah you're 29 28 28 and marika you're 27 i'm 24 and i'm 29 36 36 is a good birthday yeah yeah well it already happened so fucking so thanks but i don't have a 36th birthday anymore i have a 37th birthday now 37 is is pretty good too. 37 is really good. I'd say they're like equally good maybe.

I have no idea how much I needed to hear that today. I was going to double down on the 29 thing. Now I have the confidence to say I'm actually 43. What's the best age to start lying about your birthday? Ooh. I guess 33. Because I think you should be 33 for two to three years.

I can see that, yeah. It feels like not quite to 35, which is, like, too old to be lying. Yeah. But you could start at 35, too, and just be... I feel like when you lie, you just have to say you're the same age for a few years in a row. Yeah.

But you have to play it off like you don't remember. Yeah. And actually, sometimes I think I'm 37. Jill will sometimes remind me that I'm younger, which is nice. That's an old person thing of like, babe, how old am I? Am I 34 or am I 35? And then they'll be exhausted from the other room like, you're 34. Thanks.

Things are bad at home. I do that that a lot you put some art up yeah is it crooked or is the laptop it's probably the laptop i would imagine right yeah i'm sort of a master at photographic perspective making things look different sizes. That's not really something you could be a master at. What's the mastery involved there? So there's this Etsy store and I can send you guys the link, but basically it sends quarters that are instead of like, you know, 0.75 inches, whatever a quarter is. It's like four inches. So it's whatever a quarter is um it's like four inches and so it's a big quarter yeah and so i can like hold the quarter and then it looks like my hands

are tiny does anyone do that uh so what how are you a master if you buy that at an etsy shop because i know it sounds like that person is the master. They're the master at making coins look big, but I'm the master of like, holy shit, I got the iPhone 12 mini mini because it's next to the quarter. You're the master of making your hands look small. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I'll accidentally send like a dick pic and it's like the quarter was in the corner and I'm like, shit, shit, shit. How do you unsend an SMS and you can't? So I've garnered the nickname Tiny Cock James. That's in certain circles. Looking so long. I didn't say it was a shorthand.

I just said it was a nickname. Honest Abe is the same amount of syllables as abe lincoln yeah you're right my friend isn't on tiktok and i told them about the she thing and it was in a car full of other people who all know about it and don't want to hear me explain it but now that person's really excited about she it's renewed my energy is this on your list of things to wax about no uh all i had was amir's birthday jake's wisdom teeth and marika's hobbies all things that we were like let's gloss over as quickly as possible you said it's amir's birthday it has to be, let's gloss over as quickly as possible. You said it's Amir's birthday. It has to be acknowledged.

Let's move on. How come that was in the wax? I don't want to give him his due. Yeah. I mean, I think we all did a good job at trying to avoid that today. Yeah. In the company Slack, let me just read the transcript here for a spell. Marika said, it's Sam's birthday, Sam Shackle at HeadGum. Happy belated's birthday Sam Shackle at HeadGum

happy belated birthday to Sam Shackle I believe it's the only birthday we're celebrating today and then I said happy birthday you know what we'll just we'll make the episode description the transcript we won't Micah are you doing

other work I was reviewing the slack messages that you were discussing because if you need to do other work is this a waxing episode or do you have segments planned because if it's a waxing episode we need

I want that warning ahead of time so you can decline I feel like I usually do warn up top after the first part of the wax goes poor. I'll be like, yeah, this is all I have planned. I have other segments planned. Why do you think the waxing goes poorly? Everything turns into a wax. It's all, the podcast is a full wax.

Even the segments are waxy. podcast is a full wax even the segments are waxy i think i think for our next live show we should hire a uh god what are they called an esthetician um to literally wax us on stage as we wax whether it's eyebrow threading whether it's truly the ring around the ros, if you know what I mean. Ew. The first thing you said wasn't waxing, by the way. Eyebrow threading? Fine. It's its own fucking thing. Pulling teeth, pulling hair, waxing eyes.

Let's just, I had a thing I wanted to talk about. Yeah. Pulling teeth, because waxing with you is like pulling teeth. It's kind of interesting. What was the thing you wanted to talk about? I did think about it and then forget it. I do think I have some lingering brain fog. Jake, you had COVID.

Do you have symptoms still or are you good? No, I don't really have symptoms. I guess maybe it feels like my... I feel slightly congested, but it's because I'm not allowed to blow my nose from the wisdom teeth. So I think it could just be that. That's horrible. Yeah.

You're not allowed to blow your nose? Not when your wisdom teeth were as deep as mine. They made holes in my Sinai. So- At Mount Sinai. Yeah. My sinuses, they're whole. So if I blow my nose too hard, it'll blow through my stitches and the blood clots.

Oh, God. That's horrible. I've heard of horror stories about that. Yeah. And this is all stuff they warn you about as you're about. If they told me all this stuff before the appointment, I would have been like, you know what? My wisdom teeth are fine. But instead, they tell you kind of like after it's all over.

They're like, all right, here, only chew on the side of your mouth. Don't blow your nose. What? What? Don't drink through a straw, right? That's one. Yeah. I don't wonder when that's allowed to like when that runs up

maybe seven to ten days i had a i drank from a straw this morning so but it's been eight days so i feel like it's fine this is the most normal conversation that we've had and jeff has just left the room wow wow where is jeff i see the reflection of the ceiling beams. Yeah, he's in his friend's apartment. That's really nice. Yeah. Pretty jealous of those beams. Yeah. I like those pants, Jeff.

I like that shirt, too. Yeah, it's a good shirt. I went to Zabar's for the first time. Sort of my new Valhalla. Where's Zabar's for the first time. Sort of my new Valhalla. Where's Zabar's? Upper West Side, which is also my newfound holy land. Really? Why? Yeah, explain, please.

It's fucking gorgeous up there. I mean, I went to Zabar's and I went to the Natural History Museum to see an exhibit on sharks. And I was so ready to do the bit that I was ready to do was that the upper west side is a horrible place and boring and then i literally stepped out the bit you were ready to do i went up there to hate it yeah and then i stepped out of the subway i think i took the one whatever the red one is and i walk up the stairs and i'm like this this is for me no shit i love that what streets where'd you cover it was on 80th and uh second no 80th and eighth i don't care central park west i just meant the 80th part. I went to Spaghetti Tavern, where they serve spaghetti in bags that are very testicular. And I don't know why they do that.

I don't know if it's to make cleaning up the bowls cleaner and easier. It was a weird day, but I can't... It was a weird day, but I can't. It was, it was, they also have a bunch of coffee shops and restaurants that are like in the garden apartments of townhomes. And I think that's amazing. Wow. Yeah. That's really nice.

It is nice up there. The architecture is incredible. Would you consider living up there? I feel like, I mean, well, it depends because we've been talking about maybe moving our office in New York to Manhattan. So maybe if that happened, but like all my friends live in around here, I mean, well, it depends because we've been talking about maybe moving our office in New York to Manhattan. So maybe if that happened, but like all my friends live around here. I'd probably still live in Brooklyn, but, you know, maybe when I'm a dad. Yeah, because isn't the Upper West Side like, there are parts of Manhattan that are relatively affordable.

I mean, like it's probably as affordable as Williamsburg. I mean, for sure. I feel like it's probably the same price. I have friends that live on the Upper West Side. Yeah. This shirt was $8. That's a steal, to be honest.

We're talking about rents, though. Yeah. No, I'm just saying, like, this shirt in Williamsburg would have been, like, $40. Yeah. Eight bucks is a very

inexpensive shirt. Also, I feel like just you don't have to live around your friends. What? Spoiler alert. You can live wherever you want and meet up with them pretty easily. LA scarred me in that specific regard of like if you

don't live, like my friends who live in Santa Monica, I don't see them. I never will. Yeah. I'm the same way though. I don't think I see people that I don't live like my friends who live in Santa Monica I don't see them I never will yeah I'm the same way though I don't think I see people that I don't live near maybe that's the only reason I see Micah so often is yeah it is I think it is kind of a Brooklyn because like Queens like I I want to leave all the time like Queens is good but it's like not if depending on what area you're in, like you need to go other places. Williamsburg is hard to get anywhere from.

I guess the G gets you to other parts of Manhattan or other parts of Brooklyn and Queens. Maybe it's fine. It's not that hard. Nothing's hard, but everything's hard. It's all too much, you know? I have pretty close access to the G, the L, and the J and the M. Yeah, you're in a good spot. Very nice location. It's also Michelle Obama's

birthday. That's interesting. Was it today or was it yesterday? It's either today or yesterday, but I bring it up because she's actually my pick for Bond of the Week. Oh, nice. That's really fascinating stuff. It was yesterday.

But do you know what's strange? A strange little parallel I never knew before? My birthday is the day after Barack Obama's birthday. Right, right. That's why you and Amir work so well together. We're both one day off from an Obama. Are you Barack and he's Michelle? That's basically being married.

Yeah, I agree. I you Barack and he's Michelle? That's basically being married. Yeah, I agree. I'm Barack and he's Michelle. What do you mean are you Barack? Do you mean like in the relationship? In the relationship and also maybe personality wise because I'd actually say that you're Michelle. Yeah, I would say you're Michelle. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. Interesting. Because Michelle is like beloved by everybody yeah um so is barack though in a way i think they're both loved equally by the same people and hated pretty one time i went to zebulon in la uh the night after the obama sisters had been there and everybody because people at least over the summer everybody was going to zebulon on friday and saturday and my friends were like yeah like malia was right there like she was dancing like and i was like was there secret service and they're like not that we could

see um but i do fear being within a 20 foot radius of a secret service agent because i think that i'm usually the sketchiest person in the joint yeah because you're usually wearing some kind of like tassel jacket and a hat like slightly overcompensating because you know they're there yeah yeah yeah trying to like befriend them so they don't think i'm weird but then in doing so they think i'm suspicious uh somebody did post a really funny back-to-back quote on the HeadGum podcast Reddit. I do want to try and find it. If I can't, that's fine. Um, here it is.

Okay. Two great minds. And it's a John Lennon quote that says, life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. And then a quote for me that I said from last week's episode, I don't want to be without rice, but to be rice that'd be nice like that's already worthy of like a 10-year sentence god and i don't even mean in prison i mean a run-on we have to take a break guys taking care of your health isn't always easy right but it should be simple that's why for the

last three years i've been taking ag1 just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day no exceptions and it helps me feel you know energized focused ready to take on the day. Like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe. And their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water.

I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee and it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase

exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that? Check it out. Welcome to Maria or Drew, Carrie edition. Maria or Drew? Do you mean Mariah? Mariah. I forgot the H and then I read it as it was on the page. Mariah or Drew Carey edition. Oh, my God. Maria Carey.

That's like Jake, that video of Carlos Sainz saying Mariah Carey, but he says it Mariah Carey or something like that. I don't know. Wait, did you send it to me? No, I'll send it to you. It was a deep cover just for two of us. The Cardio Santos Carey. These are going to be quotes from America's two favorite Careys, Mariah and Drew.

And you guys are going to attribute them to one or the other. Does that make sense? Of course. So, Micah, you wouldn't have come if we were just gonna wax but you would have been fine coming if you knew that there was gonna be a segment like yeah maria or drew last week we were talking about getting railed on a toilet who who was who do you think who do you think uh rika you have to tone it down there were some comments that i agreed with on the video uh last week that uh marika killed it last week yeah i crushed it yeah well

uh all right are you guys ready yeah there's a light at the end of the tunnel hopefully it's not a freight train through gary yeah i would agree hang on no way that was mariah when that it's really clever they don't have years uh it's really clever doesn't the year doesn't matter what like what is she doing yeah there's no context either i I got these all from Brainy Quote. There's no way I can justify my salary level, but I'm learning to live with it. Drew Carey. Correct.

Talking about Price is Right. Yeah. In finding these quotes, I found out that Drew Carey, who I used to claim because he's a big Clevelander and has always gone back to Cleveland and done shows. Yeah, Cleveland Rocks. He's like a really outspoken libertarian. I can see that. He's got the glasses for it.

Yeah. But supported Ron Paul and Gary Johnson. I don't know. I appreciate that he was... Whatever. I'm not going to get into it. Yeah. Time is irrelevant to me. I never wear know. I appreciate that he was... Whatever. I'm not going to get into it. Yeah. Time is irrelevant to me.

I never wear a watch. Mariah. Yeah. Correct. You didn't say what this is for. Is it cash? Is it what? I stopped doing the cash thing because of the tax stuff that really

made me wise to. Well, it's not actually a thing. As we were told multiple times on our one viral TikTok that was just misinformation. What was the misinformation? I don't think I knew anything about this. We were talking about how Venmo started,

or like this year is starting to charge tax, or like you will be taxed for like any goods or services exchanged throughout but it's only for like when you claim that it is for a goods or service it's not like for exchanging money back and forth between friends thank god that makes sense thank actual god um yeah then this is for cash for every right answer a hundred dollars to you a hundred dollars owed to me for every wrong answer $100 to you $100 owed to me for every wrong answer so so far I'm up $200 and so

is Jake here we go my heart has never been broken and I've never broken anyone else's it has to be Drew yeah wow Mariah there's so many songs about her having a broken heart

I know also that's an insane thing to just assume she has a song called Heartbreaker it's Heartbreaker you got the best of me she's like

yeah this was written by a team of eight songwriters on Melrose wow in an office that would rival a CPA's office

in any middle American's metropole. I'm not vain, I'm insecure. Wait, that's a quote? That's the quote. When did the quote start and when did you stop talking?

Everything I've said since the game started has been me. Except for the quotes. Wait, repeat the quote? Sorry. I'm not vain, I'm insecure. I, repeat the quote? Sorry. I'm not a fan. I can't stop looking at it. I mean, this shade of orange just calls to me. It's really nice.

I'm a little miffed that if it was only eight bucks, you didn't get me one. Because I feel like you look at that shirt, you know that I would like that. Here's the thing. I'll be at Zabar's within the next seven days. Guarantee. What are you buying there? I guarantee you that. Another shirt.

What is Zabar's? next seven days guarantee what are you buying there another shirt what is it just just zaybars is gonna be a gourmet grocer for the road slash ages and the road being 80th street in on all of all places the upper west side of manhattan yeah aka mecca yeah it's perfect the quote was mariah carey correct thank you jake's up three hundred dollars uh i'm up three hundred dollars mostly from whatever you guys can split it nevada is one of the most conservative states in the union but you can do what you want in vegas and nobody judges. Drew Gary. Correct. I wish I shouldn't have. I shouldn't have said the libertarian.

By the way, getting cash for a game would, that's not money being exchanged from friends. That is technically income. Then we shouldn't have the money part of it. So I would be paying income tax. You would have no tax burden. You might be able to claim it as a loss since you gave it. Actually, it's a write-off because it's a charitable donation.

Yes. Because you're sort of less fortunate. I actually think you could say that this is your job and, you know, paying people is an aspect of the job. So it's a loss. You don't have to call me a charity case and I resent that. So it's a loss. You don't have to call me a charity case, and I resent that. And I will be paying income tax on this cash, which is why I intend to keep it this time. I usually send it back. Or you could donate it.

But I'm not a libertarian. I believe in the government, and I will be paying my fair share of taxes. I will be reporting this income. I'll be filling out a 1099, which actually means you will be hearing from the IRS. Fuck. I'm very hard on myself and I have too many issues. Mariah. That one wasn't a quote.

Drew is easy on himself. No, that wasn't a quote. Oh, I see. Mariah might have already said that. But I'm saying it now, so that's going to be cash in my pocket. Here we go. Butterflies are always following me wherever I go. Mariah.

Mariah. Correct. That one I threw in there because I'm getting a butterfly tattoo after this. Really? Somewhere, yeah. You don't know where yet? No, it's called somewhere.

All right. Well, that was that game. Oh, my God. all right well that was uh that was that game oh my god with four hundred dollars are you just at jay kerwitz yeah can we see the tattoo yeah hang on um yeah hang on can you confirm that that came through um one second oh i'm jay herwitz what did you say i said jay kerwitz cancel cancel cancel right this is fucked up yeah i didn't get anything jay jay are you kidding me no i'm jay kerwin okay i got it yeah i hate doing this um these are the inspiration photos but in black ink

yeah you're doing a four wait you're getting a butterfly yeah Wait, you're getting a butterfly? Yeah. Do you realize I have a butterfly tattoo, right? Are you kidding me? That's an apple. That's a butterfly. Did you not know I have a butterfly tattoo? I think we talked about it. Yeah, because that looks familiar. Whatever.

This is completely different. This is the placement. Where are you getting it? Left try. Why? Why, Seth? It's not completely different they look pretty similar i don't like to hear that an hour before i have the appointment it's today it's in an hour it's at somewhere wow can i like why why a butterfly um i don't know i think it looks cool uh if you want me to ascribe meaning to it it's constant reinvention personal transformation i didn't want you and now that's

i don't want to be a retiree who's arguing with his niece well now you're gonna be a retiree with a butterfly tattoo i'll tell you something about the butterfly tattoo yeah i got my butterfly tattoo. I'll tell you something about the butterfly tattoo. I got my butterfly tattoo for what I believed to be a very valid reason when I was 18. And it doesn't matter your reason for getting the tattoo. It always leaves eventually

and you'll have the tattoo. So I commend you for having no reason except for... No, I agree. I think that's the move. You don't want to have a reason for a tattoo.

I don't need a reason for a butterfly tattoo specifically. If it was like words or something, maybe. I think butterflies are pretty. Great, that's all the reason you need. Let me finish. Pretty awesome. They're actually pretty fucking metal.

I think this is a step up from your lemon for sure. The lemon is for my dead dog. I thought you were joking. No. The dog didn't mean anything to you the dog was my only fiend all right let's move on uh this one i'm really excited about do you know you can invest in crypto on Venmo? That's new. I've been doing NFTs recently. So I actually just turned your $400 into Bitcoin.

What? And I was able to lose 30 bucks right off the bat. Which is pretty neat. That's funny. That is funny. We need more shit like that from micah today here we go i forgot how long this song was and now there's just this school photo of some person. Welcome to Mint or Nah, speaking of NFTs. to mint or nah speaking of nfts so nfts were explained to me on my knees recently and i finally got it any one of us could print a photo of the mona lisa right now and yeah we could be like, it's the same photo, but you don't own the original.

I'm the proud owner of a gray boy NFT and a sad cat. I hate this. And you could print that or save the JPEG, but it wouldn't be yours. It's mine. Are you just learning this now? I knew that, but the Mona Lisa one was pretty key for me. So I thought that we could kind of get in on the NFT game because people are making thousands of dollars. The metaverse is nigh.

So I thought we could look at a couple JPEGs and we say whether or not we're going to mint them, mint them being turning them into NFTs. So this is Mint or Gnaw. Not for cash, not a game just a discussion piece this i don't know if you can you got you got this image from worldwide interweb.com it says and that would be part of it but i don't think you can just mint other people's photographs okay then we'll have fucking who who does the art for the shows these days?

First and last name. Grayson? Yeah, Grayson. Grayson Wise will be an artist. Okay. And he'll take this as inspiration, turn it into something original, we'll mint it. So do we mint this or nah? Who is this?

I don't know. Nah. this or nah who is this um i don't know no there's i i think there is there's to me there's something here we're playing on the nostalgia yeah school photo exactly you can there's everything that is that gets people fucking hard for nfts yeah you know the the changing the background so like maybe a rare trait is there's lasers back there instead of the blue yeah glasses bangs you know all these things can be interchanged i will mint this yeah i will work with grayson i will be cutting you out and we'll have school photos no way and if yes yes on the open sea this after fucking noon thank you for the idea I actually do think it's a good I was just like I was like rolling with the bit that's so

I was rolling with the bit that's so harsh you don't have to like me personally or what I do but useless I don't really think that. I was just role-playing. I was like... Maybe we just do turn the rest of this into wax and I'll turn my camera off.

All right, next one. I call this sour. This kid looks... This looks like Micah. This is what Micah looked like as a baby. Just white? looks like micah this is what micah looked like as a baby just white what i don't like about this and why i'm gonna say no is like the slight v-neck why did you put it on that because it's sour the project would be sour nft or like sour

apes or some shite. Not enough there there for me to be involved. You know, I originally said nah, the school photos NFT project. I'm back in on that. Seeing how bad the next one was made me regret not going in on the first one.

So Jacob, whatever you need. Cool. Yeah, we're trying to cut Jeff out. So, Jacob, whatever you need. Cool. Yeah, we're trying to cut Jeff out. So, actually, if you could liaise with Graze, that would be really nice. But I'd like to kind of stay CC'd slash wise. So, if you could CC me on the email to wise, that'd be great. You will be BCC'd because... You want to get my eyes off of it.

Yeah. Yeah. you will be bcc'd because you want to get my eyes off of it yeah yeah and it'll be under the guise of not keeping me not unwise but actually the guys would be getting my eyes off of it and being like well we don't want to crowd jeff's inbox but guess what there's not much in there yeah so sour or nah nah nah nah all right nah yeah let's say nah nah on the douche i thought it could be douche nfts yeah you need you need i think that i don't really know very much about nfts but i feel like for people to get it, they need to be like trading cards almost. They need to have unique features. And again, I'll say there's not enough there, there, here. It's kind of like a Duchamp if you think about it. It's like the ready-made art.

I don't know. If it were a real piece of art, I'd down but I hate NFTs so I'm going to answer nah to anything yeah that's what made me think of it that's really good thanks um yeah but definitely not minting this a rise in popularity of uh women-owned projects women created women women artists. Congrats to them. NFTs are stupid. Next. Awful. Jaundice.

So it'd be different people with jaundice. Don't zoom in. Actually, I backed a project that was a lot like this. Crypto Hobos, and I lost a lot of cash. A lot of cash on that. I've lost a lot of money a lot like this. Crypto hobos and I lost a lot of cash. A lot of cash. I've lost a lot of money in the last week. I was up and now I'm down. Until I sell

but the thing with NFTs is that if nobody wants it, it's worth nothing. They don't come back. The market is flooded. It's dumb. We should actually start explaining what these images are for the audio podcast. Oh, yeah.

There was a kid sucking on a lemon followed by a curb chain. Yeah, a giant gold chain. A mannequin target. But I think mannequins. I think a mannequin project or something. I think mannequin chain yeah yeah Johnny might be able to help us out with this one

because I think Johnny could pull this off I think on his birthday which we should say is August 12th he should wear this yeah I think he could pull it off but again how is that an NFT if he's wearing it that's separately and then there was a

douchebag right um and then there's this old man with jaundice but he's not letting him phase him he's still living his hashtag best life his teeth look great though his teeth are so white well by comparison yeah because he's all yellow oh that's good thank you um we should say that this he's actually i cropped this but this is him at uh coachella oh that's nice weekend too but still yeah how sick is this a ducati this is just a ducati for a swimmer's body. There's, I hate to say it again, but there's not enough there there. Unless we're talking motorbikes and then maybe, because then we have like, you know, you got a sidecar, you have a chopper. But then I think there's actually too much there there. Yeah.

I would say this is almost like a distraction. You just started looking at choppers. Well, I started, yeah. How about a motorcycle gang NFT project? Yeah. Each photo is a different person in the gang on a different bike. I like that. Here's what I pitch on that.

It's all just their back leather jackets. That's really good yeah it's just it's like a motorcycle art on the leather jacket and yeah now i'm in because it was my idea and i love it um all right so that's mint like a me me you and Grayson could probably get in on that yeah and Rico we'll cut you in you don't have to do anything I don't I don't want my money

in this yeah you don't have to contribute any money but if you are we're just gonna make you a passive investor yeah we just wanna give you

cash if it works out and can you make me a massive investor we wanna give you a slice Jeff you can buy these on OpenSea in four hours. And Jeff, we'll keep you

as like a carbon copied person who knows about the project. Like a CC. And is not part of it. You can be part of it. I want to be clear about that. That you're not part of it or shit.

You can get in on the floor at that floor price. So I can mint it. You can buy one for five Ethereum. Five is the floor price? That's right. That's insane. These are genuine pictures of leather jackets. The leather's not genuine.

It's digital. Yeah. Yeah. That's a picture all right all right back more jaundice what if it's just john dice j-a-u-n-d-i-e-y-e-c-e i think there's the i doing an i based project is a little too obvious or should i say obvious that's really obvious that's good i want but the key is to make people i'mvious and they want in is the idea behind all of these that they are art like is that how we're considering all of these images that is something because i have been watching a lot of like nft youtubers and shit and like it is funny to me when they're like and like when you're buying them like make make sure you're you're buying this art so make sure you

like like pick one you like and i'm like they're all bad like board games aren't good to see that's my biggest problem with nfts i think I at least think of them as assets, like not necessarily like stock, but not necessarily like art. Yeah. That said, I have only ever invested in crypto hobos and lost all of the cash that I did it with. Yeah.

So I don't have my handle on this world. And I think that's good. I think it's fine. I think it's fine. I'm just trying to imagine a world where I like walk into a gallery and all of these are on the wall. And I that's more fun. It'll be it'll be in the metaverse. Right. Yeah.

I'm thinking like comparatively like that. That's a better experience to me than wherever these are. Yeah, but then you're guaranteed losing whatever the entrance fee is. It's a free gallery. It's a party opening. I'm getting free wine. Couldn't you go to it? I imagine very soon, if not now, you could go to one of those galleries in Chelsea, see art that you like, and then also know that that artist has some kind of

NFT project. That's also probably true. And that seems like a nicer way to do it. It's like, it's almost the equivalent of like, I can't buy an original, but I could buy a print. I can't buy an original, but I could buy a digital NFT thing. So it's like, yeah, that's like what? No, like, it's my favorite artist is my favorite visual artist is Matt McCormick. And if he had an NFT project, I would get in on it for sure. But it would also probably do well because it's Matt McCormick. But then is it like the idea that you own stock in this thing? Yes, I think that's the closest.

It's not the art of it. You could just buy a print if you wanted to enjoy it. Yeah. Mint or gnaw. This guy's face-planting on some... The floor is that wet. So gnaw. Yeah, I wouldn't mint this, obviously,

but if I saw it in a gallery, I think I'd laugh and have a good time. Yeah, there's something interesting about it. Yeah. Because the sign could change. Did you Photoshop this? No. I like that the caution wet floor has the shadow of the guy falling in the opposite direction.

This is art. It's like a mirror image. And you could change up that caution sign, what's happening there, you know? I think I'm gonna mint this because every time it's someone comedically falling in a way that seems impossible. Like this guy, like how do you slip this way? And then that's kind of what makes it rare and interesting.

So let's say interesting so i haven't gotten very deep in it but i don't think anybody's cracked the code of making like funny nfts all of it is like some weird kind of like anime chimp like ugly art project to me if you can if you could consistently make funny images i would potentially invest in something like that. It's funny because I was about to suggest that you do a Jake and Amir NFT. So the Academy tweeted some stupid, jokingly coy thing of like,

we're not actually asking who you want to host this year's Oscars, but if we were, who would it be? I'm like, nice. But I said Jake and Amir. I saw that. My favorite brand of jake and amir fan are the ones who stopped watching you guys eight years ago and then like on tiktok sometimes on amir's tiktok i'll be like holy shit like where did these guys go and then like like a couple

people responded being like oh my god you just took me back so i think that that's how you get back into the mainstream zeitgeist is jake and amir's nfts do you want yeah that audience though the nfc audience i mean if it's making money i feel like our core fans would not want to see us make nfts and the passive casual fans would not want to support us in a cash way for an NFT. It'd basically be a project just for me, you and Amir. There's other parts of NFTs too. Like you could, you could sell an NFT and owning it means that you get to go to a private

show in New York city in like February every year. And then that's kind of nice. That's a ticket. That's cool, but also you could just buy it. That's only a product of the fact that we've created this stupid thing that's like exclusive.

If it was like you could just buy a ticket to a cool event or like be invited. No one's arguing that it's it's definitely stupid but i just hate this yeah like you can't people are doing it and it works and that's the it is fucking crazy yeah but uh that's what gary vaynerchuk does he has he makes hundreds of thousands of dollars every single like moment of the day because people are buying his NFTs so they can get access to him.

I don't think that we're there, obviously. I think Nicole probably is. Yeah. I do think if I could, I would do that. Yeah. I wouldn't shy away from it. Monk. Tony Shalhoub.

But it's kind of a shitty photo that clearly is just a fan took a photo with him and then cropped themselves out. Yeah. Moment. Yeah, I think nah. I don't know. Celebrities looking pretty normal. Like that's what Us Weekly entirely is, you know? Yeah.

The celebrities are just like us. It's fun to see a bad picture of a hot person. Not that Tony Shalhoub was ever, like, a hot guy icon, but... Or a guy-con, if you will. I think he's poised

to be the next Tucci. I think he could be Bond of the Week. Tony Shalhoub Bond. He'd be a good Bond. I'd watch that. All right. Let's wrap this up.

I'm in on this project. All right. I'm going to say no, but I appreciate that you are taking it. This next one I'm really excited about. Is that a... Oh, it's an old photo of marika isn't it yeah this is a i think 14 year old marika brownlee tap dancing doing a tap showcase in boston oh my god look how intense i've never seen her like this this is just an angle of marika i've never seen either it's a weird thing i feel like i've just been staring at marika on zoom for two years

this is like if marika was on dancing with the stars and she like everybody keeps voting her back week to week because of how serious she's taking the show i mean even her prepared professional dancer is like you sure you want to keep staying here for another two hours and she's like yeah let's just keep fucking going and then she gets home and keeps dancing and i'm like low rise jeans no cuff boot cut boot leg for sure yeah silly band I was part of the Boston Tap Company one of the first

original members huge of truth pretty big deal I'm gonna say nah but I appreciate your dedication to the craft that's rude to include this photo and then not fucking say it's an interval

alright well we're gonna hashtag stop the steal and hashtag stop the share here screen wise but um went with this song again yeah there you go um let's wrap things up by just a quick discussion

of Jason Momoa and Lisa Bonet's so sad 17 years yeah 17 years and it's golf or not and don't give me that shit

it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all it's a wash they're married it's not a wash they have kids they have kids they brought children to have never loved at all. It's a wash. They have kids. They brought children.

They have an amazing estate. Not ritzy, but fun. You would know for sure. Yeah. Really sad. What I do want to take issue with is the way Momoa posted about it

on Instagram. This is something that really bothers me about celebrities. They think that because their famous punctuation goes out the door. He was putting commas at the beginning of sentences and little squigglies. It was like, I'm like, just write a, just use normal grammar and punctuation. You don't have to make it all fancy and ethereal.

I don't like when celebrities do that. He's so small. Such as? Yeah. The end of this fucking marriage. He's also like, he's cool enough and like weird enough that I'll excuse it. Like it could just be his style.

Is that specifically a celebrity thing or do people just do it and you notice when celebrities do it? I think people just do it and you know people just do it and you notice when celebrities do it maybe i have noticed that celebrities have the most insane grammar as well i just wouldn't use this podcast as a platform to call it out it's like how i mean but what i it's the flip side of that coin though is like when i love when especially a young celebrity posts like grainy bad photos to their instagram grid but they're famous so the photo of them carries weight so like diana silvers will post like a fucking photo of her in the background of a party and she's barely in focus but it gets like a hundred thousand likes because

it's fucking silvers so you're just yeah you're just jealous i don't know who that is either but she's on space force and she's to date dominant fike i don't know how you say i don't know who that is this is crazy from derrick no wait dominic fike like the uh he's the artist he's an amazing artist he did uh three nights at the motel on the street lights in of? On the streetlights in the city of Palms. And then he did the kiss of Venus. I like that first one. All right, plugs. Let's get it over with.

Not only the plug segment, but this entire episode. I've had a lot of fun. I don't know if it's going to be good for other people to listen to. But Mariko, what do you have going on? What do you want to... Sorry. Over the plugs. Nice.

But Marika, what do you have going on? What do you want to... Sorry. Over the plugs. Nice. It's fine because I was looking up, trying to figure out who I was thinking of. Marika, plugs. Yeah, plugs-wise.

Boy, oh boy, what's happening? New podcast. Enemies dropping. The trailer's probably dropped by the time this came out, so go check it out with Liza Traeger should be fun subscribe to the FRU YouTube channel subscribe to the Keeping Records YouTube

channel which also should have just launched when this came out same day same day watch those video episodes yeah follow me on Twitter and Instagram and Letterboxd at Marie Kaelin. Micah?

Follow Liv Climbs Rocks on Instagram. Nice. Very good. Do you want to explain what it is? Yeah. My girlfriend started a rock climbing account where she posts videos and photos of her tearing it up on the rock wall. She's been climbing so much less time than me, Micah, and she's better than both of us.

Yeah, six months, right? Wow, really? Something like that. I saw that and I assumed that like you met her climbing or something. Like she was just like there all the time. We took her to the gym and she took to it. She was just there all the time. We took her to the gym and she took to it. She's very good. I'll second that.

I'll second Liv climbs rocks. Also Brothers Halcyon. We're in a beanie right now. Can I get one of those beanies? What color weight do you want? We got green. Orange. We have olive cinnamon nice cream

can I ask you guys how you do this like is it drop shipping like are you just getting it from a wholesaler and then marking them up no we're hand stitching these hats ourselves no you're not so it is a drop shipping thing

no it's not drop shipping we ship them we manufacture them in bulk So it is a drop shipping thing. No, it's not drop shipping. We ship them. Okay. We manufacture them in bulk. Damn. How? Design them.

I stitch them in my mother's basement. Made by hand. Every single hat. With love and care to cover your hair. And let's take the hat off because didn't, yeah, you're going. Completely bald. Bald. Male pattern baldness. cover your hair and let's take the hat off because didn't yeah you're going completely bald bald male pattern baldness um jay and my good are your is your grandfather on your mom's side when he was alive or if he's alive does he have a head of hair and did he have a head of hair

till he died my on my mom's side he's dead and, and he had no hair at all. Okay, so you're going to be bald. He was so bald from very early on. So in theory, you guys should be going bald by like mid-50s. It should be. I think I'm definitely, I have hair past the point that he did. So I feel like now, the difference is you're in your 20s. If you lose your hair, it's sad.

I'm almost almost i'm 30 jill how old am i so the fact that i have hair at all is everything else is just gravy now it's all good i can coast um yeah stakes are higher for you that's something that i am gonna consider when i'm trying to find my life partner if i want to have kids is is her old man bald and if so it's a deal breaker because i don't want to you by the time you have kids though there's gonna be like surgeries and there already are surgeries grafting pills and whatever yeah project bald this is all good insight I don't want to trail off and we're about

to pass an hour so let's finish up the NADPOD keeps code if you're worried though yeah and everybody stay golden everybody stay humble and check out Zay bars if you're in the New York

City area the Upper West Side style and I'll see you guys there we'll see you guys again next week. Thanks for listening to this episode, I guess. But, you know, we get the mad money either way. No, we need the listeners. That was a Hidgum Original.