The Headgum Podcast - 90: Blurredle

Episode Date: February 18, 2022

Faris, Marika, and Amir join Geoff to discuss Sebastian Stan, Faris' musical prowess, and truckers. Plus they play a round of Blurredle. Also, Geoff didn't respond to Marika's slacks or texts about uploading the episode so she's publicly shaming him in this description.  Listen to The Anthem: https://linktr.ee/FarisMonshi Check out the newest Headgum podcast, Confronting Demons with Megan Stalter!  Subscribe to the new Keeping Records YouTube channel for new video episodes with Caleb Hearon & Shelby Wolstein every Friday!  BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify. Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast Lights out! Fall, hands acclasped into instantaneous ecstasy like a shot of heroin or morphine. The gland inside my brain discharging that good, glad fluid, holy fluid, as I hap down and hold all my body parts down to a dead stop trance, healing all my sicknesses, erasing all, not even the shred of a I hope you or a loony balloon left in it, but the mind blank, serene, thoughtless. When a thought comes a springing from afar with

its held forth figure of image, you spoof it out. You spuff it out. You fake it and it fades and thought never comes. And with joy, you realize for the first time, thinking's just like not thinking. So I don't have to think anymore. Is this about jacking off? The first sentence really makes it seem like that now that I think about it. What would the good glad fluid

hap down hold my body parts? Feels very on par with that generation of artists. Yeah, I honestly would not put it past Kerouac to just write a beautiful poem about, for lack of a better term, autofillatio.

That's the lack of the correct term. Marika, is that coffee? Or root beer? Diet Coke. I'm spiraling. Good for nothing type of jeffrey uh i'm not doing well emotionally i'm kind of feeling lonely in new york that's has to be the furthest from who fucking cares because we're gonna get the party started nobody cares nobody this isn't your fucking vlog're going to get the party started. Nobody cares. Nobody. This isn't your fucking vlog, man.

Let's get the show started. That was really me reaching out. That was really me reaching out. Absolutely not. reaching out absolutely not don't do mustard in my hair i'm falling apart here and there don't know that one that was an original familiar yo play style yeah should we do a yogurt cast what are you saying we've got Ferris

fucking Monchi on the show what up y'all good to be back don't call it a comeback rare occasion cause he never went he didn't go anywhere. Up kabop aside.

My first true experience with that sound clip. The amount of times I've heard that thing. That audio clip is like, you know that image that's, it's of nothing, but it's like, this is what stroke victims see or something like that and you're like what everything looks familiar but isn't anything that's the audio equivalent like it sounds like a word i would know but it's not and every time you play it i think i'm gonna figure it out and i never do yeah it's something you you'd hear the paramedic saying as you're

having a stroke right exactly and you're having a stroke. Right, exactly. And you're like, Up ka bumpa solid. Up ka bumpa solid. Up ka bumpa solid. No, it really is an honor to have, it's a moner really to have Manchi back on the show. It's been too long and here we are. The honor is mine. Namaste.

Up ka bump. How are you feeling? How are you doing? What's new and rife? I meant to say strife or life and ended up being rife, which means we're rife with Manchi right now. Yeah, a day in my life, a day in the strife, if you will. Not much, man. I guess the only new thing going on with me is i'm taking computer science courses

which i never thought i'd be doing with my life um do you guys think that you can become a math person like late in life i don't know man um i really don't think so. I think you can. My roommate, it's not like late in life, but my roommate was an English major and now does coding. That's like her main job. So I feel like you can make a change. Speaking as a math person that decided to not become a math person interesting i wouldn't recommend it but now it feels feasible can we can we make the discernment though did you enjoy math

or did you just happen to be good at it because i feel like that's two different types of math people uh-huh i it was both until i got to college when I took college math classes that didn't involve numbers at all. And then I was like, no, this is excruciating. And also like all my roommates were math majors that were good and really cared about it. And I was like bad and frustrated all the time and didn't want to do homework for seven hours a week plus. When the letters get involved, it does get a little choppy. Yeah, but I did yesterday. I was writing a joke movie review and relearned set theory really quickly to try and make my review a proof um okay okay nerd the math never

really leaves the heart does it never never leaves you i am a nerd for sure get her uh so that's what's up with me math people anyone major key alert sense when the conversation needs new direction you know like i think what we've just seen is a cautionary tale it's for all it's for the listener but you're sort of the example of what not to do does that make sense no Banshee how's that cock of yours how's your sex life I should say and maybe it's a tamer way of asking are you seeing anyone

so start with the tamer way of saying it don't go x-rated and pull back you know what I wanted to gauge the response because maybe you guys would have loved the first way I said it.

It made us all uncomfortable to see you put Ferris in sort of a checkmate position to have to do something with that question. After you lambasted me for talking about math, you decided to switch gears

so drastically. From bombastically to drastically. That was easy. Sorry, that was easy. No, but actually, how's your romance sector? Oh, God. Well, he's taking computer science classes, so? Let's call it. Oh, God.

Well, he's taking computer science classes, so I think that answers it. Quite asked and answered. Truly answers it. Well, it could be to get like a really high paying job so that you can kind of get the woman of your dreams. Is that? That's not really what it's for, but.

You think the woman of Ferris's dreams would only be with him if he had a programming job that's kind of what I'm like that's not really a woman to be dreamt about let's reign it in shallow let's bring it in we've all had our fun razzing Jeff but let's all get on the same page

I don't know what to tell you man um uh i don't like dating apps i gotta say and are you on feels like no i'm on none of them man i'm on he doesn't like him yeah but field is different but it feels like that's um i don't know maybe that's part of the problem is that everyone is on them so it's just everyone's on them but then that's why it's tough for everyone to get dates I don't know

I haven't even done it in a while it's just such a waste of time for people that don't like dating apps you guys made a dating app though yeah you should get on Orion I would try Orion out for a spin i think try i think you'll like the results jeff have you spoken about your recent raya membership on the oh my god invite i fear that you'll get it sooner than i did which it took me two years and then like it'll mean it took you two years you applied once and then two years

later they said you're in or you kept applying every month for 25 months. Either way, you're a fucking loser. So don't like try to figure out which one is the right answer. Did you apply once or did you apply 20 times? That's the worst face. You're anemic to hear that even asked of you. He's fading fast. You look more pale.

How are you losing blood blood you're just sitting down um i applied once i got friend passes from my friend marielle and for my friend melanie racewell uh she's been on the show and no avail. And, you know, that's sort of surprising. Friend passes, by the way, are like, we vouch for you and nearly 100 percent acceptance based on just those two things alone, let alone two people. So you got those two things that they said now. The tough part is like you get one, you know, your chance to probably in the 80s,

you know, 80%. You get two, you should be on within a week. Took me two years. That's what's hard in my life. So, but you're on it, so it's not hard. And you could vouch for me, right? Look how amazing this content is on my fucking Instagram. Like, how did this not get me on?

Oh, yeah. You're leaning over for a fart. Is that on your profile? Got him. Dot A-I-F-F. let's hear it uh let's hear the worst this is the worst all right uh we haven't done this in a while but it is time for bond of the week my pick this week for the next James Bond is Leslie Phillips, age 96. Wait, never mind.

I was thinking of Leslie Jordan. The name's Bond. Geriatric Bond. They wouldn't say that, right? Who is Leslie Phillips? I don't know. You're pitching like the super bowl ad in the world oldest working british actor in the world leslie phillips man all right all right let's

take it doctor who style let's go old as fuck to combat ageism let's say i assumed leslie was a woman and i was gonna say that that's an interesting interesting idea. Leslie's a man. Bond. The voice of the sorting hat. So it's just an old guy. Yeah, he's in Harry Potter. Not Slytherin, eh? Laugh at that shit!

Laugh at that shit! There's no way that didn't peak. Screaming into the mic. I laugh. How about you let anyone else talk? Let's have Monchi take the fucking floor then, all right? I've been trying to say my bond of the week. Hold for sound, hold for sound, hold for sound.

Nope. I'm going to just keep talking. And I'm choosing my bond of the Week is Charlie Cox. Daredevil himself. British man. Way more popular currently than Leslie Phillips will ever be. Daredevil has been charting on Netflix for weeks. I mean, you could have the look. I can see that um how about a charlie day that's

really fun that'd be fun he's already playing luigi he's gonna be in the super mario brothers movie what you know chris pratt is mario he seems like more of a mario like luigi's kind of tall and slender before the podcast ferris like so excitedly wide-eyed was like did you know that there was this beatles documentary that came out like a month ago and you just did that with the mario four months ago you gotta get on dating apps, man. This is all anyone's ever talking about. I'm on a five-month delay, guys. I'm serious.

It's really bad. I'm slowly... For some added context, Ferris, when that Mario movie was cast, Kevin Porter, host of Gilmore Guys and Good Christian Fun, started tweeting that he cast... He was the casting director for it

and everyone believed him and he got a ton of tweets about how bad it was that he did that. Oh, he gathered a bunch of hate tweets. Like he brought that upon, that's really. Kevin Porter does some fun stuff on the internet. It's true. He does some, he's a funny guy.

He's good at stunt casting his life, creating fun situations for him to get publicly lambasted for the lulz slash clout. It's almost a performance art. I'm jealous. What would you do to get lambasted, Amir? Me? Yeah.

I don't know. What would you do to get lambasted, Amir? Me? Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to like, you know, for me there is... Sorry, Jeff direct messaged me. You suck. You suck. It's a fine line because like I would love to get publicly shamed in a way, but at the same time I don't want to take anybody else down with me. I'd hate for that residual hate to land on other head gummers.

And then suddenly you have to start making a statement and be like, why are you friends with somebody that tweeted their support of X, Y, or Z? Don't acknowledge this message. It covers the screen, so I almost have to read it. Yeah. You've got to assume at this point in your career, anything you do is going to affect Jake

and anything Jake does will affect you. Yes. That's right. The goal is to be the last person that has to distance themselves for the other. Would you ever, even if it tanks your career, would you ever prank him by destroying his? That would be kind of interesting.

Sort of like in a, yeah, I'm taking you down with me style. Flash mob in a way. Yeah. Be quite a turn quite a bit right like you'll turn yeah it's like a w ultimately isn't good but then it's like at the very least i'm feeling something new again like feeling something is the point yes exactly as we like enter year three of this pandemic like even just the idea of being like turned into a enemy amongst many people's eyes. Like, oh, that's a new exciting feeling that I can sort of try to navigate. That would make this March feel a little bit different than the last two. It's true.

At least you wake up with something to, you know, not know about what's today going to be like. Exactly. Otherwise, you're just waking up being like, oh, God, what time is it? How many hours until I can go back to sleep I still have a successful career with that guy I really like and I'm best friends with but at what cost

right a litany of texts at this point bump bump bump there's a gif it seems like somebody when you bump something too much it's like you can't even go back to it right right it defeats the purpose right up to bump for solid my bond of the week are we there yet i'd say go for it because jeff missed a perfect edit if you will

um i've been watching the hulu show the pam and tommy show which is kind of a new step for me i'm usually not on top of the latest television shows and i'm definitely not watching them live but i was able to watch the first three episodes of this one as it came out so I feel like I'm on the cutting edge of something just kind of neat uh and I was really impressed with yeah I'm really impressed with that guy who plays Tommy Lee yeah um I guess he's a famous guy yeah yeah I have uh Estelle Getty one of my favorite actors actually yeah uh he's great i'm excited to uh see more of him he's really good as tommy lee i don't know if you've seen that

i haven't watched it yet i keep forgetting that i've been i feel like it's a thing that i've been waiting for for so long and then it came out and i just forgot it was a thing yeah there's just a lot of things yeah what does that that say it's his big time you suck big time I don't know who that is though Sebastian Stan's great great actor so he's my bond

if he can do that he can do anything yeah I think I think you're a bond who are you talking to Jeff all of us at this point it's a Kurt Angle reference

and like Kurt Kurt Angle you got him all of us at this point it's a kurt angle reference and like i hope that made people happy people were complaining that we haven't done bond of the week in like a month um so shout out it made me uncomfortable but yeah sure sure like on the spot um i'm gonna try to put more effort into these episodes um you know not take the listenership for granted and uh part of that means having some talking points for the wax segment not just having it be just nonsense you know uh so i have a bill of point a what bless you wow bless you uh epic let's take a break actually forget what i was saying forget it oh my god guys taking care of your health isn't always easy, right? But it should be simple.

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So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG1. Try AG1 and get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that? Again, that's drinkag1.com slash what's that again that's drinkag1.com slash what's that check it out um ferris should we do this thing yeah by all means daddy chill all right uh that last one was an accident i'll round it out with um let's do one that we haven't done in a while. So concerned. All the wrinkles in your body are between your two eyebrows right now. It's unbelievable to see it.

Thousands of wrinkles in one square inch. My God. The rest of your body is probably literally skin tight as it furrows feet and feet of excess skin right there in between your two eyebrows. I mean, my God. Look at you. It's like gripping a partially deflated balloon. Yeah, exactly. Squeezing to the knots. Knots. Knots. Knots.

I think six months ago. Ferris, why don't you kind of intro this so i did mention i'm on a five month delay about five months ago i said i would do this ussr national anthem uh cover and i chose an insane time of my life to commit to something like that but um y'all kept me going and I chipped away at it little by little and it's been an absolute blast. And by the time you're hearing this, it should be out on all platforms except apparently iTunes. Because when I selected language, I selected Russian and it said, sorry, Apple and iTunes are not currently accepting the Russian language. So maybe try Spotify. But also that has its own issues.

Not accepting the Russian language. I mean, look at that. We're already, international affairs is ruining the arts. All right. So this is a teaser, I believe, Ferris? Yeah, it's a little minute or so clip of what's to come. Your cover of the USSR National Anthem. Here we go. Scylla narodnaya

Partia Lenina Scylla narodnaya Nastortes vu, komunismo vedio Saxophone Holy shit. laughing in the recorded Wow. Did you learn? Yeah. Did you learn Russian for that? I definitely learned the words to the anthem, yeah. Wow. That was easy.

No, it was not. No. Way more work than I expected. That was incredible. Yeah, that was crazy. Thank you. that was incredible yeah that was crazy thank you seems like a real song like a real a song you would hear

in an elevator in Moscow or some shit I appreciate that I could I could only dream of being in an elevator in Moscow someday

how many hours do you think how many hours do you think went into that all together oh my god I mean just

last week I spent four hours recording vocals because I really, really, really needed to have a 24-man choir. You'll have to listen to the rest of the track to hear that part. But it's like a 24-man.

Yeah, it's just me. It's just me like yelling in my room 24 times in a row. My God, I did this weird saxophone stuff. You'll just have to hear it. And where can people find that? Under your personal Spotify? Is it Ferris Bunchy? Just my full name, yep.

Hell yeah. And a good plug for your music, which is also pretty fire. I am a Joe. I appreciate that. I appreciate that. As a side note, I don't think I will be ever going to Moscow.

I think I may get in some hot water with this. I don't know. They're desecrating their national anthem. Desecrating? I think you did it justice. Well, there's a secret message in the song, too. Oh, my God. You can hear it during the sax solo.

It's more of a cry for help than anything else, but keep an ear out for it. Do we have to know Russian to hear what it is? No, that's actually in full English. Okay.

If you can pull it. A full English breakfast. We'll put the link in the description. Absolutely, we will. People can find it. Appreciate that. Unbelievable work, Ferris.

Thank you guys. I really appreciate how much time you've This show. I work, Ferris. Thank you, guys. I really appreciate it. It wouldn't exist without this show. I mean, this show is the kind of creative impetus for a lot of this weird shit I do. It is cool that somebody's working hard on the show. Yeah.

It's nice to see that. I mean, definitely Ferris and Jason. Sorry, I had to get everybody to kind of shut the fuck up for a second so I could say welcome to Truck It. I work pretty hard on it too also. Yeah, a bunch of people do. Definitely. Truck It though.

Let me guess, we have to hear a noise of a thing and it's either Truck It or somebody saying Fuck It. Truck It or Fuck It, yeah, something like that. Do you guys want to take like a 20 minute break so that I can just retool this? Oh, yeah, yeah. Instantly. That's that Monchi shit

because he's the only one who hears it as much as I do. Yeah. Upka bumper solid. It's a human soundboard um no let's get fucking serious here for truck it uh the new york times recently ran a story about how america's low on truckers uh due to the stress uh physical deprivation and loneliness that comes with the job uh we're seeing what are we seeing thank you ferris we're seeing high driver turnover at rates of above 90 thank you marika for active listening i appreciate it um i did the same fucking thing you stop you got mad at me marika wasn't active listening she was laughing at you i was actually inquiring to hear more but

yeah neither here nor there i guess not enough truckers yeah in america very sad very good marika thank you so much for paying attention ferris same thing can i speak amir are you going for it man the sooner we finish the sooner we can get the fuck out of here we're seeing high driver turnover at rates above 90% okay okay who gives a shit are you kidding now I have to start that

sentence over why you finished it we are seeing rates above 90% of driver turnover for trucks okay worst sentence this is all supply chain there's not lack of interest there's just a lack of good jobs are you reading a fucking essay what are you doing what are you there's no way that this is scrolls three paragraphs down

and it's not because of yeah lack of jobs it's adequate access oh i have an ad, actually. Hold on. No, it's there's low pay. There's lack of respect. There's poor working conditions. There's the harsh demands physically of the job. And that's not going to get truckers on the road. So I thought what we could do, Ferris

and Marika, thank you so much, for to get truckers back on the road is kind of pitch some ideas to, you know, shipping companies, really, of how to get interest back, how to make the jobs good to have. Is that cool? What happened? Where are you going? Are you on a fucking drone?

I touched nothing. And it's fucking going haywire on my ass. What the fuck was that? All right, I guess this is how we're... I'm in an apartment. Is it the usual spot that you've been in? I had to move. Why? Here he comes. it was always the plan to move

i don't know why you're reacting this way the plan was to move yeah for february for these last couple weeks not the fucking point thank you so much marika and ferris for your civility uh amir there's room to grow in that regard uh let's talk about how do we get truckers back on the road i'd love an example all right you're thinking about so i was thinking we could make the trucks awesome right so maybe like like imagine a fucking big rig with a jacuzzi how sick is that can the driver use it yeah because here's the thing there's actually limits on how how many hours truckers can drive to limit uh you know injuries accidents etc so they can't drive more than i think it's 10 hours it might be 11 uh per day so what do you do with you know

the downtime before you go to sleep soak yeah i feel like it would take up a lot of space in the cargo area water's really heavy so that's something to consider too you're carrying around like sloshing water that could actually affect the truck's movement

it could cause an accident maybe what's your next idea? seven figure salaries can't afford that who wouldn't drive for a milli? Right. A milli, a milli, a milli, a milli, a milli. Yeah.

Yeah. So I think that would get a lot of truckers. I would truck for a million. Just for a year. And it could maybe like safer rest stop locations, like free hotels. Oh, that's a good idea like more hotels along highways that maybe have fewer stops i like that i think like um you know i'm assuming it's still the case that fewer female drivers exist correct um because of safety that's correct that's correct but i'm wondering maybe if maybe either in addition to or ideally instead of that celebrity visits so you know how like celebrities

will go to like you know visit sailors in the army the marines really i like what if mark ronson could meet a bunch of mirrors punching je is punching Jeff through the screen. For those of you listening at home. What if Mark Ronson could beat a bunch of truckers? Why Mark Ronson? You're not gonna get fucking Madonna. You're not gonna get Harry Styles out there. You should get

Harry Styles out there. That should be the goal. I think you could get a Mark Ronson. Who is that? He's like a music producer you think truck drivers care about a music producer visiting them fine forget that one

what do you guys have how do we get truckers sort of off the top of our head five awesome ideas yeah I'm actually pretty knowledgeable about the trucker industry surprisingly sort of off the top of our head five awesome ideas yeah I'm actually pretty knowledgeable about the trucker industry surprisingly really?

I mean clearly based on what I said versus what you said you said put open water in a truck what if we could reroute the trucks to awesome cities so instead of like west Texas border towns like you know, the driver would be in Miami. Where?

Sorry, where? Miami. Have you ever been to Miami? Once, yeah. How was it? It sucked. I hated it. But that's just me.

I don't like Mark Ronson either, but we're talking about truckers, not me. They don't like it. They wouldn't like Mark Ronson. How about some augmented reality so the truckers can still truck to where they're actually supposed to go

but it can look like Miami that's really good now we're thinking what if instead of augmented reality though it's augmented reality so it's basically like it's AR but they're just driving through Ogden Utah the entire time that's a really good idea It's AR, but they're just driving through Ogden, Utah the entire time.

That's a really good idea. That makes it worse. My last idea, do you guys even want to hear it at this point? Sure. I think it's really good. Do you guys bank with Chase? I do. Or no, I just have a credit card with them. Do you have the Sapphire?

Does that change things? Yeah, you have the Sapphire. You know how you can get into have a credit card with them yeah the sapphire does that change things yeah you have the sapphire you know you're getting to certain lounges because you have the chase sapphire card like you have a chase i have the chase freedom so i wonder if that the freedom we're talking about that might not get you into sapphire lounges but let's just say that you get certain vip access with certain credit cards i only get one percent cash back so i'm not sure you gotta make sense. Yeah, you gotta get the Sapphire. I don't have the checking and savings that you're asking us if we have.

And I don't either but you can get three points on dining or travel with the Chase Center. You know what's not gonna get truckers back on the road? This horse shit that just happened for the last 20 seconds where you guys are waxing about credit card rewards. We started it right. I just want to make sure we're on the same page. You're the one that was pointing out the lounge truckers only vip access where

motor coach ella so that'd be all artists that sing about highways rascal flats acdc etc life is a highway that i learned that the rascal flats was a cover of the original song didn't know hated hated when i learned that the truck dance film festival it's all movies about trucks like dual thunder why is this good why like we're trying to get them jobs and you just want them to have reward why did you sign up for the chase sapphire card because of the rewards i see you're not just gonna sign up for a credit card that has no rewards i'm not gonna get a job or choose to go into a fucking field that's dangerous deprivating why can't they just go to regular coachella why does it have to be a trucker specific

event so you're saying like a like a trucker's vip lounge at an already existing event yeah right because then it's not vip if everyone at the event is the same status you make me a bad guest which i've never said about any host before you're more bad than I can possibly add to the show you come in here with a negative attitude and it just sort of you spend an hour poisoning us and then you leave feeling better I guess I do so much work to like

actually make sense of what you say on an any day basis you feel drained at the end and it makes me feel crazy and boring somehow Marika does give you the benefit of doubt constantly which I can't and that makes me feel crazy and luring somehow Marika does give you the benefit of doubt constantly which I can't I have to imagine is exhausting

it's hard I leave with fatigue you tire me because you are a tire T-Y-R-E the truck BA finals what's that it's an all trucker basketball championship what about the troskers the trosker hey we can't play this music over with that was gold man again marika the troskers we can't play this music over with that was gold man

again Marika the Troskers I don't see how that's ever been the truck dance film festival but let's hear it you want me to say why it's better it's self evident forget it

the Troskers. Oh, no. I don't like seeing your garage band open. Do you guys remember, do you guys know Wordle? Of course. We all, yeah. All we know. Got a two today. Wow. You got a two.

Got a two. You got a two on Wordle, right You got a two on Wordle, right? Got a two on Wordle today. Huge if two. Well, this is Blurredle. Huh? So for the listeners, Jeff has his screen up to a custom Wordle and has just covered the block part with a preview window of a gray square.

Some really high stuff um you guys want to play sure yes uh nice uh i have three combinations of this so let's start with marika this is your this is your blurdle so basically it's wordle but you cannot see what you're guessing or even what you're typing can you see the results afraid not okay so you just have five random guesses to get a word yeah and then after you guess all six then you get to see if you got anything correct all right i'm gonna go first word um great fuck what was your first word today when you got to uh it was black

um huh sort of interesting because I can't type on here yeah you can't do it without us seeing it okay what you could do yeah what you could do is just share your screen yeah Yeah, you can't do it without us seeing it. Okay, what are you guessing? What you could do is just... Is not share your screen? Yeah, exactly.

All right, that sucks. So you shared your screen and that sort of defeated the purpose of the game. Then you had to create a second layer on top of the shared screen. All right, here we go. Great. If you just didn't do anything at all.

G-R-E-A-T or G-R-A-T? G-R-E-a-t or g-r-a-t g-r-e-a-t all right but now the problem is that i well i guess i can just guess whatever word that i want but it's hard for me to keep track of what i've already guessed uh do you want any hints? What? Doesn't that defeat the entire purpose of this game? The goal is to get the word. But I can't. Right. I can't know what words or what letters are correct. That's why it's hard.

So what hint are you going to give me? That was a good guess. That's all I was going to say. The hint was great, was a good guess. Okay. That was a good guess. That's all I was going to say was the hint was great, was a good guess. Okay.

I'm going to go with... Oh, boy. That actually works. Oh, boy. Faster. Tread. T-R-E-A-a-d interesting all right um i'm gonna go gripe g-r-i-p-e the crate okay interesting this is crazy gonna go grips

g-r-i-p-s I'll take it home with grits g-r-i-t-s you have one more guess oh do you want one more hint sure in the last five you have guessed all the correct letters Yes. You have one more guess. Oh. Do you want one more hint? Sure.

In the last five, you have guessed all the correct letters in the right places, but not in the right word. Not in the right word. I understand what he means. That's the sad part. Across the board horizontally, you have a green thing in all five things, but not all at once, obviously. Show her the board horizontally, you have a green thing in all five things, but not all at once, obviously. Can you tell me what my...

Just show her the board at this point. It would be nice to guess it. It's Blurtle. It's like a grand reveal at the end where she can try to figure out what the word is. You can do that after your sixth answer. What were my words? Your words are great, tread, gripe, grips grits that's funny uh all right here's my question

can you can i take a second to think about this because this could be this would be crazy if i get this right yes yes you can so can someone else do theirs? Yes. And we circle back to me? Yeah, all right, here we go. Ferris, you're up. My man. That was the smallest token of esteem. To hear you say that meant nothing. You're also going to regret calling me that

because I'm going to be an awful guest for this. I've never actually played this game. So this is the board. I kind of get. And now I have to hide it. Yeah, yeah. I kind of get the concept, but here I go with zero practice. I guess six five-letter words, really.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's one way to do it, but yeah. I noticed based on what Marika did, though, you kind of want some similarities in the words. I don't know. We'll see. Only if you get letters right, which cannot which we don't know that information yeah oh my goodness all right five letter word um solid solid um let's say i will your first hint there is that that solid was anything but.

All of those were wrong. I didn't say that. Well, yes. Oh, I see what you're saying. Maybe they were all right. Maybe they weren't. Let's try water. I think I'm picking up what you're putting down.

Better. Okay. Let's say waste let's do wacky this is tough to see so it's going poorly. I'm using sort of the Brownlee method here from whatever I could pick up from what she was doing.

It's completely blind. Without the hints, it's nothing. There's no good or bad. That's why it's hard. That's why it's horrible. And it's also like, it could not be a real word, right? Like this is one that Jeff...

We're at the whim of a math. No, they're real words. That's your other fucking hint. You guys suck. Ferris and Marika are the only people giving me anything today. All right, let's try jeans. I'm doing pretty well.

Jeans. Yeah. I'm trying to get in your head space, man. Jeans. You have one more guess. Do you want to do the Marika style or give it some thought? I would say. What does that mean?

You haven't told him anything. Yeah, of course I have nothing to go off of, right? Then let's not do it the Marika style. Because Marika's fucking close it'll be interesting I only know where one letter for sure is that's the problem Ferris you're nowhere close to it

so you might as well guess one more time I just I might as well go fully random um no way he gets it this is crazy he's gonna say it I'm sending it to him bumps I'm thinking of a number between 1 and 5000

alright bumps was the closest you had i was a b and u oh it was burnt oh all right nice that went pretty bad yep um so yeah i'm gonna guess okay here it is are you sure you want to guess right now um do you want one final hint do you want one final hint and then we'll go to Amir and then we'll go to you to end it last hint is there is a double letter alright

or rather there's a repeat letter in this word okay alright useful hint a repeat letter in this word. Okay. Alright. Useful hint. Alright, Amir, are you ready for Blurtle?

Sucky. Sorry. Give me one fucking second. Because this weird thing happened where the custom wordle recognized my ip address and this was the one that i tested it out on right so it says that you already got it right which is incorrect so i need to think of right now a custom word here okay give it fucking give me a

fucking second all right i got it um All right. Now are you ready? Yeah. Let me just... Hang on. This is your board? Yeah, they're all the same board. You don't have to share it on share. All right.

What's your first word? Sucky? Badly. Toxic. toxic Marika's by the way Marika's gonna fucking get this just based on your facial expression like you're seriously figuring this thing out you're gonna get it I feel like even if you don't get it

once you see this board you're gonna be impressed with yourself Amir keep it going come on phone as in phone it in you don't do any work on this show I don't like that some of these are

tired for you are tired and we grow tired of your games which is my last word games if I need one more how about loser and that's that right it was bears

nice well I think I made my message right badly why'd you say badly because this is how this segment's going and then toxic because you are

phone because phoning it in yep I already said that one tired because I look at the audience grows tired of you. Yeah. Games seems positive to me. Games was fine. But ultimately you're a loser. At games.

Yeah. And life and at games. Damn. That was ultimately a tough pill to swallow. But I think I'm going to go forth into the world. And with this show week to week with that knowledge we love you for it dude yeah marika are you ready for this final guess i think you might get it um do you want your final hint i know i'm giving you like four hints but I like

this word could have been definition wise it could have been in one of Amir's guesses is it trite what do you guys think based on just Jeff's face when you

think I got it very nice What do you guys think based on just Jeff's face when you said that? I think I got it right. Oh! Oh, shoot. Very nice. Wow. That's really funny. Brits is really close. This looks like someone actually playing. Yeah.

Yeah. Because if you just knew that the E was in it, you know if Jeff made the game a little better. Yeah, I was looking at all of the words or all the words like lined up and trying to I knew that the R had to be there because it was in every guess. And then when he said there were two letters or there was a repeat letter, I knew it could only be a T repeating or an E repeating. All right. Nice. It's kind of like a very nice English Sudoku. Yeah. And I assumed it wouldn't be treat because I would have gotten that.

Like it would have been like tread was so close or whatever. Right. He would have freaked the fuck out. Yeah. And so guys is the actual game of Wordle more like mentally fulfilling and satisfying than Blurdle? Yeah. I think so. Because you can like actually figure stuff out.

Yeah, this one kind of made me feel bad while playing it and then worse after. I feel good because I did get it right and like thought about it a lot. But for you guys who didn't really have hints uh yeah i can i can see that it wouldn't be hints because you were already so close that you might be able to have guessed it yeah was this meant to be kind of like an art piece like a challenge jeff like is that what you wanted to get across was pain for the user because that's like a valid artistic decision, right? In your game design.

So if it's that, it was like a cool art piece? If you meant it. Yeah, if you... Then yes. But we know you didn't. But I think that's kind of how Jeff approaches a lot of things, right? Pain for the user is kind of his MO. This is true.

This is true. It worked. I mean, you This is true. It worked. I mean, you're getting... His wrinkles are back. So wrinkly. So many. How do you have that many muscles in your... Yeah.

Like, at most I can get one. Yeah, I can't. In my house growing up, you had to get good at being angry. Jesus. in my house growing up you had to get good at being angry jesus sad beginning to a one-man show i would love to see jeff's one-man show could you imagine that i think this is it you can call me daddy oh what about carson like late or the tonight show starring johnny carson but every time instead of him walking out to here's johnny it was him like kind of revealing an even darker corner of his past

there's a small town in reno that I'm never allowed back in. I owe alimony to two other women other than my wife and she doesn't know. That's good. From age 9 to 12, I underwater You wanna know how I got these skills? Johnny Carson is a fish for that plugs

Ferris what do you have going on what do you want to point the people to the floor is yours man oh man yeah Ferris Monchi on Instagram and yeah, look out for the USSR cover. Probably everywhere you listen, but apparently maybe

not Apple iTunes. But yeah, basically everywhere. Check it out. It should be out by the time of, by the time you're hearing this. Oh, yeah. Ferris Monchi across platforms. Marika? Follow me on Twitter, Instagram instagram and letterboxd at marie galon uh some new head gum podcasts are coming out slash have already come

out enemies lisa trager that's out really fun check it out um i. I think when this comes up, at the very least, the Confronting Demons trailer with Meg Stalter and her brother will be up. So listen to that. Yeah. Fun stuff. She's funny, but productivity has never been in her strong suit. I don't speak to her character right it just took a while to get the show off the ground is all you don't know anything about

the production schedules she's filming a tv show yeah and you never will be She bodies me on the retreat again. Yeah, I would love, I hope that we have basketball court. Amir, what do you got going on? Not much, right? Punch Up the Jam is back. I was on an episode and they let me punch up the jam with them. I am rapping like a beastie boy in a parody of Brass Monkey.

Nice. I love that. That's awesome. Check it out. It's at the end of my episode. They also have Weird Al on an episode. Correct. And the Complete Guide to Everything,

another HeadGum podcast they were on. Great shows back. Deja Vu by Olivia Rodrigo. Nice. thing another head gun podcast they were on great shows back deja vu by olivia rodrigo nice um we'll end it with this super bowl picks in two days from now um who do we think won who is playing marika without that knowledge sort of like blurtle why don't you just guess a team the seattle seahawks. Interesting. To win or just... Oh.

Amir? Give me the Bengals to not only cover, but upset the Los Angeles Rams in a home Super Bowl. Bengals 33, Rams 27. I forgot the Rams are Los Angeles now. I hate that. Ferris? Pittsburgh Steelers, man.

I'll take Bengals in five. There's only one game. I didn't mean in a five-game series. What did you mean? Who's performing at the halftime show? Dr. Dre, Eminem, Snoop Dogg, Kendrick Lamar. Incredible. That's going to be interesting.

I'll tune into that for sure. Probably see some new movie trailers. That's fun. I used to do my taxes during the Super Bowl. That was my tradition. That's a fun tradition, actually. Thank you. I can get behind that.

Yeah, recommend it. Jeff's face is back that's like me going to the DMV on Christmas Jeff do you have anything to plug? he's drooling or crying or something you're leaking man end the show he's bloodletting he released the forehead muscles

and all the fluids are just coming out he's getting acupuncture. He's getting Accutane. My plug is... My hair plugs. Oh, come on, man. Everyone knows. You can see it receding. That was a Hidgum Original.