The Headgum Podcast - 91: Wheel of Amirsfortune

Episode Date: February 25, 2022

One of Headgum's newest hires Kayla joins Amir, Marika, and Geoff to discuss working at Headgum, fearing change, and Amir's misfortune! Check out the newest Headgum podcast, Confronting Demons with Megan Stalter!  Subscribe to the new Keeping Records YouTube channel for new video episodes with Caleb Hearon & Shelby Wolstein every Friday!  BUY THE HEADGUM PODCAST MERCH! Advertise on The Headgum Podcast via Gumball.fm Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Apple Podcasts. Rate The Headgum Podcast 5-stars on Spotify. Join the Headgum Discord.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

This is a HeadGum Original. Previously on the HeadGum Podcast. John Cale and Lou Reed used to... put musical ideas together in a loft on Ludlow. You're a loser. Sorry, I just, it's been like so long I have to say it. I didn't even think I was saying it when it just came out of me like a cough. Like, yeah, you're kind of, you're a fucking loser, man.

Talking about like living next to a Soho house and shit. You don't know anything. You're a house of cards, man. A wafer boy. Upon the slightest inspection, nothing you say carries weight. Yeah, your entire personality is not. I'm sorry, but I had to say it before the weekend

I had to say it before the weekend I needed you to know that before Memorial Day that was your self-induced timeline yeah like I didn't want you to have that day of reflection without knowing that about you holy shit it's all finally come out day of reflection without knowing that about you. Holy shit.

It's all finally come out. I feel like my back doesn't hurt. I feel like I can stand up tall again. I'm proud to be here now that you know you're not good. God, thank you. That definitely seems like the lights are back in Amir's eyes like he really feels ready to record this I feel like I'm stretching for the first time he can reach for the stars yeah he's a light little boy he looks 10 years younger.

Sorry. I have to check one thing. And you never know if it's really part of the show you never do Marika you know Jeffrey pretty well what do you think this is a bit this is pre-planned or this is a genuine confusion

I think this is a genuine confusion I thought so too but now that he's back he's back with a chain we have the same glasses oh my god no no this is Hillary Duff for Glasses USA

beautiful thank you don't be mad about that that was um not how I wanted to start the show. So sorry. Did you put on a chain also? Or was that there?

Hold on one second. I forgot my jewelry for this podcast. I forgot a ruby. I need to put an aura ring on. Otherwise it won't track me Amir one second actually please everybody welcome to the show Kayla Moriarty

one of Edgum's newest hires man hi I'm sorry to do this but we're gonna have to do Kayla's druthers right off the top two minutes on the clock nobody else can speak Kayla why don't you tell us what we want to what you want us to know about you oh my god okay um I'm Kayla I am a female living in Brooklyn um I am from the great state of Rhode Island which is where Narragansett beer is from so we can talk about that later. Not New York, Jeff. Not New York. Thank you. As a beer

sitter, you should know that. Yeah. I really like Narragansett beer and all beers and alcohol in general. I also have a dog named Ferris. He is sequestered in a room back there. He's very cute. he's very cute um what else um i like to read tarot cards i like spooky things um i also am still this is so long okay um i'm getting pretty good at crossword puzzles i am now on the wednesday new york times booklet of 50 i'm determined to get to sunday by the end of the year. I don't know. I'm a Libra. Fuck, this is very long. Let's see. Wait, when is your birthday? October 10th.

When's your birthday? October 22nd. Oh, wow. Are the Libra crews going back up again? We lost Mike. It's actually Kayla's druthers. I wanted to help. I'm so sorry. I was told everyone would be quiet

Thank you I really like new works which we just discussed off camera but Marika and I both have the same print which is knives and Marika and I both used to tap dance so I think at the company offsite we should wear our knives outfit

and perform a tap dance so we should start rehearsals soon if that works Thank you so much Okay outfit and perform a tap dance. So we should start rehearsals soon. That works. Thank you so much. Okay. Great. My social security number.

No. Holy shit. I'm really happy to be here. And now I'm going to sit for five seconds and reflect on how wonderful this is. Namaste. Thank you so much. That's beautiful. Thank beautiful thank you yeah it didn't make a noise jeff so you don't have to put your phone up to your microphone yeah uh no back at it again on a friday casual or otherwise um kayla's already bringing the heat um and you're also the first of the new hires to the new class to kind of enter what has become known as the Thunderdome.

And where is that sound effect, Ferris? You searching. This sucks. I'll just do this and lose the ad revenue. This girl is on fire. Major key alert. When you start a new job, dive dive into the company culture that's what moriarty's doing here dean or otherwise and i have to call out casey's ass why forget it i knew you guys wouldn't understand. Let's move on to...

God, this sucks. Bond of the Week. Every week until the next James Bond is cast, we're going to be giving our picks, Kayla, for the new James... And this week, my pick is Tim Cook, just because I feel like he's not doing much at Apple, so he has the time.

You picked one of the busiest men in America because he has the time. Does Tim Cook also wear a turtleneck in honor of Steve Jobs? In honor? That's a good question. I feel like that's fitting of James Bond, right? Yeah. I guess so. I don't know if he does.

My pick is Dan Stevens really you know who that is right I do not know who that is Dan Stevens he sounds like my friend's friend he's an actor he was in Downton Abbey he was in Downton Abbey he was in that Eurovision movie on Netflix of course

great great range great guy think he'd be good. Up, go up, beside it. Mm-hmm. Blumenfeld? Let's go. I just saw a trailer for a new Adam Sandler movie about basketball starring none other than Juancho Hernan Gomez.

Who? Role player for the Denver Nuggets. I guess he's a really good actor because they hired him to star in this Adam Sandler movie about basketball. Do you think when he got the call that he was cast, they played this?

Yes. No. So I think he would be a good Bond just because he's tall tall he's tatted up super athletic what did what did you say his position was i think he's a he's a small forward oh i thought you said a role player oh yeah he's a role that's like he's not like a star but like you know he's like the seventh or tenth man on a pretty good basketball team so it's like yeah he's a role player on, I think he's still on the nuggets.

Wancho Hernan Gomez. You were talking about like RPGs. Yeah. No, God, no. But he has a brother named Willie Hernan Gomez also in the NBA. So what does that Jeff?

Nice. Wow. Didn't you post that on twitter yeah he's been sort of milking that one oh it looks like Wancho's on the jazz now so he's got plenty of free time Utah that's great well he's still like 82 games right traveling with a

playoff team so not really has tons of time more time than Tim Hook Cook Well, he's still like 82 games, right? Traveling with a playoff team. So not really has tons of time. More time than Tim Hook Cook. So that's how you want to play it today, huh? What? You want to come for the fucking jugular in front of Moriarty? Not really, but sure, yeah. It's effed up.

Yeah. No, it's not. I'm here for it. No, me too, me too. No, for sure. yeah no it's not i'm here for it no me too me too um kayla what is what has your experience been at head gum so far you've been here four weeks you didn't ask for her bond of the week yeah do i and who's your bond of the week sure okay sticking uh with athletes this is the most relevant athlete that i know about kareem abdul-abbar. I just think... He's got

comedic chops, which, you know, could bring a nice... He was good on Dave. Good on Dave. That's true. Great on Airplane. Great on New Girl. What about Kareem Abdul-Jabband? Kareem Abdul-James Bond. That's really good.

That's the shit that the show is for, Marika. We're finding gold. We're finding content. The crazy thing about Kareem is that he's also one of the best basketball players ever. He's not just like a random basketball player. Is he really that good?

Now you're pushing it. Wow. Now you're pushing what we can keep talking about Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. That was an edit point. Possibly the best basketball player ever. If you combine high school, college, and NBA nobody's scored more points than Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in basketball history.

You know his high school scoring record? It must have been like 130 or something insane like that. It sucks. It sucks. Great. It sucks. Are you allowed to sweep at it this show?

We really should. And there's lots of times that call for it. And Jeff does not take the bait. Wow. Cool. Wow. Yeah. that call for it and Jeff does not take the bait wow wow yeah for all intents and purposes a sweep edit of sorts full steam ahead Kayla you've been at Hegem for four weeks

let's go Rosebud Thorn and start with Thorn and your Thorn can't just be Marty. That's mean. You should have that as a soundbite. That's mean. And play it after literally everything you say. Okay.

Thorn, it's hard starting a job remote i will say um so i'm excited to meet everyone in person so that will thorn will disappear uh but is everyone who works here is just lovely and very funny and I love our Slack threads. I think the Wordle one is getting a little out of control with now three different games. Yeah. What is it? We have Wordle, Quirtle, which is four Wordles at once and then the Pod one?

No, Worldle. No, just Worldle. I've never felt so insecure about my lack of spatial reasoning and knowledge because I've never won a Worldle except for the New Zealand one. I was shocked that Jake did not get the New Zealand one in one.

That's dumb. He loves New Zealand. Are you allowed to say what today's was because I walked away without. Can you say? What was it? Worldle or Wordle? Worldle. I haven't done today's world old but feel free to uh spoil it because i don't know if i'll get around to doing the world um

did you get did you do the blurdle i didn't do the blurdle i think i started the quartal but i haven't really done that i've sort of been focusing on the daily door which is the dual yeah the dual yeah today's was suriname do you guys do the lordle? no which one's that? is that like through pray.com? yeah yeah

well it's actually mostly musicians so the lordle yesterday was L-O-R-D-E and then today I think it was Huron interesting okay cool what about swordle which is the daily sword of the day that you have to guess

sweet pet it audio sweet pet it that's enough that's enough that one was yeah fine let's um and then uh what uh what did you do you did bud and i haven't done Rose yet. I'm going to say Marika is the Rose. I feel like she doesn't get enough credit. She's the best. Wow. The glue that holds HeadGum together. Honestly. More than a role player.

Agreed. She's the Kareem Abdul-Jabbar of HeadGum. She sure is. She should be the next Bond. Can you imagine? Wow. She's so young to be Bond but i mean i'm here for it if they offered you bond marika would you take it or would you be like this is embarrassing

i feel like i have to right you have to say yes i have to and then i'd have to do a lot of like just full training of every possible thing from like that's the thing they'll do no training acting it will start tomorrow for sure not only just physical training of every possible thing from like stunts to acting but they'll pay for that for sure not only just physical training of like let's work with a physical trainer for like a year but also they could you know teach you fucking Strasburg

let's go with Strasburg it's an acting technique and I'm not surprised you didn't know that because all you've done is lonely and horny. Three failed pilots for a reason. You were so ready. You know when to change gears. Richard or otherwise.

um Amir and Kayla I'm so sorry about this because this actually is if this wasn't a podcast this would be an HR violation Amir how's that how's that cock yeah you're not supposed to ask that uh HR podcast interpersonal

second week in a row I was just wondering what changed from last week to this week in terms of your romantic life. Play the choo-choo train, the audio, the train one, and we will be moving on. We will be powering it. It will be full steam. This is something real that I do want to talk about. I don't know if any of you guys watch hockey.

No. I like the Mighty Ducks. The movie the movie or the the team there's a team got it no I really want to get into hockey and I don't know why I choose why yeah burns it's just I'm from New England my dad would be upset if I said anything else that is fair wait why do you want to get into hockey I think it's a fun sport all I ever hear about is how fun hockey games are to go to but Cleveland doesn't have a team

where I'm from and then I've heard that the LA Kings are an annoying fan base and an annoying team franchise etc so I don't really want to root for the Kings so my short list is Detroit detroit wet red wings toronto maple leafs montreal canadians and uh the new york rangers i say choose a canadian team so you have an excuse to like travel to see a game. I say Red Wings because Detroit's an awesome little city of weirdos and it

would be a lot of fun to go to one of those games. I think I agree. Cause like I also, first of all, uh, Pitt Pittsburgh has a team. Columbus has a team and Detroit has a team, uh,

Detroit and Columbus, all the, all of those cities are basically equidistant from Cleveland, give or take like an hour. I hate Columbus, so can't do that. Pittsburgh, I just can't get past

the Steelers of it all. Detroit and Cleveland kind of have this weird brother relationship that I appreciate. And I might have to go Red Wings for that specific reason. I feel like you're

not looking at anything on your phone you're scrolling so fast is it just photos? no I'm trying to find the photo that I have because I got a Red Wings jacket because it looked cool can you name 10 hockey players of all time? Sidney Crosby

Wayne Gretzky, Jeremy Dowdy, Jonathan Quick for uh ovenchkin his first name yeah i don't think it's ovenchkin either gordon bombay gordon bombay i was gonna say gordon uh jeff gorton uh let's go oh you know who there is Randall Lightfoot he played for the Oilers I believe Oilers would be a cool one for you to root for by the way

do you know Jordan Oil is that a gasoline company oh you know what that one is a gas company you shouldn't get into hockey I think actually you clearly have no clue about any of it Oh, you know what? That one is a gas company. You shouldn't get into hockey, I think, actually. Yeah, you clearly have no clue about any of it. No, you don't.

Okay. What about, there was Fareem DuPont, I think. You're just thinking of Kareem and then you added DuPont at the end. Do you know what icing is in hockey? Icing? Not in hockey, but I know that if you make make someone drink like a natty ice or whatever. That's a Smirnoff ice, I should say. That's icing for sure.

Or it's like the icing on the cake. The sport? You don't know hockey. Shouldn't have you. I'm a beautician. Okay, that's fine. That's separate. Really?

Yeah, lean into that. All right. No, I'm trying to find this photo real quick probably doesn't matter right it's just a photo of you in a jersey or a jacket Jeff you should get into Formula 1 instead I'm not interested in that alright

you're not interested in hockey it seems I don't care about hockey I care about the fucking like I just want to pick a team I want a jacket You want a jacket. Yeah, he wants a jacket. I want a shacket. What are your interests? Just jackets? Mostly, recently it's been jackets. Okay.

Jackets, watches. Always with the watches. Are you wearing a watch now? He's not. Oh, yes, there it is. He's not. I feel yes, there it is. He's not. Stay corrected. Where is this Jeff?

I feel like we're missing something. No, it's hard to tell Jeff. We said watches, and that's sort of his entire personality, so I think we named all of his hobbies. I like music. Yeah. And even that, not really. So you like watches and not really music. are your two hobbies and jackets yeah i love a

jacket but not even really we had a a dead or head trivia round last week or this wow that's a nice jacket that's why i got it and now i feel like i have to be a red wings fan just to justify you kind of look like johnny like i feel like I have to be a Red Wings fan just to justify the purchase. You kind of look like Johnny. Like, I feel like that's a Johnny vibe. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. We'll be right back. Guys, taking care of your health isn't always easy, right?

But it should be simple. That's why for the last three years I've been taking AG1, just one scoop and a cup of water mixed around every day, no exceptions. And it helps me feel, you know, energized, focused, ready to take on the day. Like I'm doing one powerfully healthy habit that's also powerfully simple. I know that AG1 gives my body high quality nutrition because every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe. every batch goes through a rigorous testing process so that you know it's safe. And their ingredients are sourced for potency, absorption, and nutrient density, all of which is very important and you don't always get with other leading nutrition brands. I like to drink it

first thing in the morning. I'll have a glass of water. I'll have my AG1 and then I'll have my coffee. And it gets me set off to take on the day and to be centered and to feel like I did at least one good thing for my health. And if you do that every day, it has compounding effects. If there's one product I had to recommend to elevate your health, it's AG1. That's why we partnered with them for so long. So if you want to take ownership of your health, start with AG ag1 try ag1 and get a free one year supply of vitamin d3 k2 and five free ag1 travel packs with your first purchase exclusively at drinkag1.com slash what's that again that's drinkag1.com slash what's that check it out

how am i hosting skills you guys think they're getting better no like was that a good oh thank you it was abrupt you spent the last three minutes looking for a photo yeah as soon as you showed it to us we cut to commercial i was just being polite really yeah yeah okay um um see I wanted to see if we would get Kayla I think someone's there what is this this is so bad What is this? This is so bad. The face is so bad.

You made this? Yes, I made it. I have a machine. No, you didn't. I have a native instrument machine. And that was mostly a loop. That was kind of a preset. He's gone, yeah birds flying north i don't like that

rearranging drawers i don't like that. Traveling to new shores. I don't like that. I hate new dawns. I hate new days. dawns I hate new days I hate my life for me

and I'm fearing change I'm fearing change Meeting new friends You know that I fear Seeing new trends

You know that I fear Trying on new scents You know that I fear trying on new scents. You know that I fear I hate new homes. I hate new clothes. I hate new hair for me. And I'm fearing change. that took me nine days to what do what to do what you didn't hear the song all right let's have to do everything myself here we go that's a better reaction notes thoughts yeah anything obviously not the last one because it was flawless

yeah on the rhythm of the race um i just want to offer that I actually have a degree in social work. If you ever wanted to talk to somebody. Like very expressive. Thank you for sharing that. That took a lot of bravery. So someone else has a soundboard and goes, that was easy. I thought yeah.

That was supposed to take up 10 minutes of the show and it was supposed to be the first three minutes is me singing and then the last seven minutes of those 10 minutes was you guys giving me praise. I mean we're still good to give you feedback. I just got distracted by Amir almost doing a spit take.

I wish it were longer. The song was bad, man. I don't know what you want us to say. It was really bad. Your singing was off. I like the song that it's based on. Great, and the words. No.

I thought that the instrumental track was really good if you did that on your um your soundboard thing yeah that was like the one part of it i would have changed yeah the lighting was great but the lighting didn't change it's just like one window yeah but it's like very neutral and yeah like soft lighting i mean i appreciate it but what about like the singing i think i think i would have maybe fixed the choreography a bit maybe less less of the claw hand i feel like that's a crutch for you and you rely on that a lot and i think yeah you could do some other things with your hands for sure okay um singing pitch what's that pitch was pitch was good the words were tight

the pitch wasn't um it wasn't tight or it was not it just wasn't um I thought the lyrics were sad which is good right that evoked an emotion but not sad like in the way you intended it wasn't supposed to be sad what was your intention as the artist

can I speak like are we doing this art school style me well if it were art school style you probably wouldn't be able to speak but i'll allow you to speak well i'm a little hurt obviously like that took like a lot not only to write it but also out of me just now nine days yeah it wasn't it took nine it was like an hour yeah that's a lot of work still. Why did you leave right beforehand? Like, your video was off and then you emerged, but you were exactly the same. I don't know.

I mean, I feel like Sammy Davis Jr. would have done something similar. Yeah, I would encourage you to write another song based on what you're feeling right now for next time. Devastation? Yeah, I'd love to explore that a bit okay also the rhyme scheme was very good but i didn't make the rhyme scheme it's just a parody so like someone else did that that's what's kind of frustrating about that someone else did the lighting i didn't make this building um i didn't can you read track right before fearing change what were those lines do you remember those lines

thank god that wasn't just the first part of that question because the answer would have been no what was that what was the question right before I'm fearing change what were the lines because you sort of rhymed the same word with itself over and over but I forget exactly what it was

yeah well there's two versions the first one was um sorry i'm like if my voice is shaking for the audio listeners i'm just like on the verge of tears um i hate new dawns i dare you to make yourself cry right now i dare you to cry i will say my high health prohibits it. I hate new dawns. Yeah. I hate new days. I hate my life for me.

What is that? You hate your life for me. Is that like, I love that for you? Yeah, but hate it for you. That's better than what my intention was, which was just that I couldn't figure it out. Okay, and then keep going. And I'm fearing change.

Right. I'm fearing change. Skips forward a little bit. Yeah, then what? I hate new homes. I hate new clothes. I hate new hair. How was that?

For me. Keep going. Oh, you want the stanzas? I hate new clothes I hate new hair for me keep going oh you want the stanzas like the verses try not singing it by the way just read it don't put pitch behind it singing is just saying things with pitch I know and it makes it

birds flying north I don't like that rearrange it why did you write that what don't you like about birds flying north I don't like that rearranging yeah what is that why did you write that what don't you like about birds flying north that's change okay but you're okay with birds flying south just to clarify I didn't even know that was an option

yeah you think they just go north over and over always up around the globe vertically rearranging drawers i don't like that like marie condoing like like yeah okay traveling to new shores i don't like that i hate new dawns i hate new days i hate my life for me and i'm fearing change i'm fearing change hate new dawns i hate new days i hate my life for me and i'm fearing change i'm fearing change meeting new friends you know that i fear right this is what i think this is what we wanted to

get into right so you i my question was is it meeting new friends that we know you fear like you fear those friends or is it like you fear meeting new friends it's the second one because that's change seeing new trends you know that I fear me too yeah great and the lyrics are good then didn't say that next line

trying on new scents you know that I fear I like the specificity of this one is that a new tattoo glad you asked butterfly this sucks the audio listeners this sucks from the the pretty Odd album cover. It is from the Pretty Odd album cover. What's Pretty Odd? That little butterfly right there. It's so blurry.

You can see it. What is Pretty Odd? It's an album by Panic at the Disco. Panic at the Disco? Yeah. That album affected you so much that you got a tattoo of it the first cd i ever bought was uh if you can't sweat out and then pretty odd was even better than that and then they broke up and now they're bad so what this sucks i'm on jeff's side to be honest pretty odd pretty odd yeah no we do have to

move on thanks for the constructive feedback assholes welcome to wheel of Amir's Fortune. Ooh. Amir eats a nickel. There's no way I'm doing that.

Sorry. Let me introduce it first because we do have audio only listeners who are commuting. This is, do you know Wheel of Fortune? I'm familiar. Do you guys know Wheel of Misfortune? Sure. This is Wheel, do you guys know a wheel of misfortune sure this is a wheel do you guys know a mirror yeah yeah this is wheel of a mirror's fortune okay i'm not giving up my dog that's one of these things okay is that is that luke yeah so um yeah these are just options uh we'll spin the thing i'm not going to say all of them

at once but let's just uh let's start with marika um something basically we spin the wheel and then something happens either people get cash or something has to happen to me uh any of you guys so there's no there's no like word play portion of it it's truly just spinning the wheel i don't watch wheel of fortune yeah okay uh yeah spin it all right let's see what it lands i am hoping for cash but some of these other ones could be interesting all right marika gets a hundred dollars uh marika is it cool with you if we just do it all at the once or do you want like in one lump sum or do you want it to be all individual transactions one lump sum would be great got it all right so uh america can you keep track of this how much money marika and kayla are gonna get because right now

is that a hundred dollars from this is of amir's money um that's actually not a bad idea oh we'll figure out no way uh kayla your turn to spin the wheel of amir's fortune spin spinner this is u.s dollars right yeah this is US dollars right yeah this is gonna be US dollars alright Amir falls so Amir are you at a standing desk right now yes can you fall I mean I can I don't need to

let's do it no let's let your legs give way this is the easiest one for you to do I still don't want to do it just fall fall no you have to like collapse do yeah i still don't want to do it just fall because if i do that that fall fall fall fall no you have to like collapse you have to like let your legs do it no because then like my

my headset will like fucking yank my computer off the the desk yes yes it's more than just it's just falling first of all it's not more than just falling yeah there you go all right he didn't do it but let's just say that that's what it is um i missed it now it's just following first of all it's not more than just following yeah there you go all right he didn't do it but let's just say that that's what it is um i missed it now it's definitely coming out of amir's bank account here we go uh amir your turn fucking prick what the hell it doesn't matter you're you're the one spinning so like you spin for me and it says amir sleeps outside if you spin for Spinning the wheel of Amir's fortune. I'm so fucking sorry. There's no way.

You have to give up Luke your dog for adoption. How is that possible? Can we bring Abishal in just for this? I want to break the news. She's working. There's no way it's happening. i'd rather do all this other stuff adult bris i think you miss you misspelled bris by the way it's just one s in bris sleep outside you can't prove right amir it's a nickel amir's no way luke we'll make sure

marika spin it Amir eats a nickel. Amir will give up Luke. We'll make sure. Marika? Spin it. Okay, well now you really got it. Or it cancels each other out. Amir gives up. No, it's not too negative. You have to give up Luke. And this is kind of fucked up, actually.

You have to adopt him back and give him up again no no way there's no way it's that way i can't give him up adopt him back and give him up again yes because an inordinate amount of work to troll my pet it's not to troll your pets to play a game play a game for content. We're playing the game. You know what's fucked up is that when you get him back, he's going to be like, holy shit, I must have just been at the groomer or something. To give him up again is devastating to him.

And he's also kind of in the twilight of his life. Yes. He's over 10. My dog was given up twice before we adopted him. True story. That's really sweet. You gave him a third chance. Yeah. That's why he's on dog Prozac as well. That's very sweet too. Like me.

You're also on dog Prozac. Dog Prozac. Yes. It's like four pills at a time. Mush it up in your peanut butter. You should, Amiri, you should just like, instead of giving up the dog Luke, what if you gave up like another Luke, right?

Oh, interesting. You could not watch Lucas Hedges movies, which would probably be hard for you. Maybe every time Luke's on screen in Gilmore Girls, you kind of look away. Luke away. I'll give up Clipper small forward Luke Kennard, so I'll trade him to Nice. Nice. Nice.

It's Kayla's turn. Oh, please spin. Please. I was playing along for half a second. Cut me off. Holy shit. That's awesome. Marika at $600. This is coming out of here. That'll be great.

It's not coming out of me. All right alright Amir you're up will it be taxed like a bonus I think it's a write off because we're talking about business or some shit Amir what I don't

you're doing it you're clicking a button no way because it's kind of cold in la at night in february but i'm sorry you're gonna have to sleep outside tonight i'll take a nap during the day on a hammock lovely in the shade no in the sun you're not playing the game and the thing is amir like i know that you think that i'm being crazy right now, but to the audience's ears and eyes, you look like a prick.

Like, you're not playing along with a game. You're a bad sportsman. Well, he's giving me $600, so that's pretty good. Well, at this point, he's not even going to sleep outside tonight.

Like, who knows if he'll even get you the money. Here we go. Marika? Yeah, spin. Thank you. here we go marika yeah spin thank you kayla war you're already going on with 250 dollars this is amazing you get you i told you you're gonna make money today all right

back to kayla very quick here we go give it a spin here we go fingers Fingers crossed. It's, yeah. There we go. That's what it is. Nice. Amir is paying the balance. So it's going to be $250 plus, it's $850. So feel free to bet. You can bet on me, Amir. Thanks, Amir.

And then I can dole it out or. Definitely not. All right, Amir, your turn. Jeff takes a finder's fee. I will take 15%, but that's on top it's like real estate uh amir come on spin it i'm not pressing anything by the way you're pressing it a thousand dollars to marika this is great that's i think 16 think, $1,650.

That's like probably, what, two months rent? Sure. Let's do one more round. Just for the fun of it. And timing. Oh, me? Yeah, Marika, all you. Or we could do a serpentine just to get a mere sourness out of the way.

Yeah, sure. Let's do serpentine. This game is flawed because it should say like spinner gets fifty dollars because like right now it says who gets it on the wheel and that's not how wheel of fortune works like it should belong to the spinner like Kayla is spinning and it says Marika gets a thousand dollars so it doesn't matter who's spinning you're asking me to spin I'm not doing anything you're just pressing a button and then it lands on Amir eats a nickel so like it doesn't matter who's spinning. You're asking me to spin. I'm not doing anything. You're just pressing a button and then it lands on Amir eats a nickel. So like it shouldn't have names on the wheel. It should say gets $50.

It should say eats a nickel. And then like people have, you know, risk reward, whether they want to spin, which we're not actually doing or not. So the entire game was flawed. I'm not giving you $1,600 to Venmo Marika plus 15%. And I'm not giving up my hundred dollars to venmo marika plus 15 and i'm not giving up my dog twice that's not happening none of this stuff is happening at worst i'll take a nap outside that's it all right is that a pass like what do you want to pass on your turn you're really gonna do this yeah sure pass because it doesn't matter who's spinning. It could be me. It could be you. It's always you just pressing a button.

Kayla. Please spin. Unbelievable. Asked and answered. If you participate, you shall be rewarded. That's another another 250 to Kayla that's gonna be $500 on the fucking day and it's coming from Amir's pockets

that's amazing thank you so much Marika wanna take us home yeah alright fingers crossed something bad happens to Amir here we go or good to me would also be or good to Marika or Kayla alright Amir sleeps outside again. So I mean we might

need you to do like two nights. No way. Not happening. What if it's two naps outside but no sunscreen no sunscreen. I don't get that. I really don't. I put a sheet or a teacher over my face. I don't need that. I really don't. Can I put a sheet or a t-shirt over my face?

I don't make the rules. we've reached the end of the episode i've never done this but i'm gonna give out grades for the day okay kaylee with your debut you got an a you got a 93 and a half that's an a minus yeah no that's a that's a solid a oh rounding up no 93 and up a minus is 90 to 92 you're right thank you well now you got an a minus i'm so sorry um no but a very a very fun episode uh and a very fun performance from Kayla. Marika. I'll give you a B+. I'll give you an 89. I can't do that. So if you have any extra credit that I can do to get that up to an A+, that'd be great. Okay, let's think about it.

Extra credit in the last two and a half minutes of the show. Can you back me up that what Amir just did was poison to the game? What I thought was a pretty fun game. What thing that Amir did? Just like not taking it seriously, poking holes in the logic of the wheel. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

yeah, yeah. Poison for sure. The wheel is flawed. Correct. So that's a a plus uh 92 that's gonna be an a minus there's no Kayla

so Amir yeah not only do you fail the class you didn't even show up enough yes I did I was here the whole time and last week

that's true and before the game you were kind of complimentary of the backing track. Alright. You know what? And this is me being generous, just so you know. 78. C+. Wow.

And you. And you. The professor doesn't get a grade. Oh, there's teacher evaluations at the end of all of course all right then i get tenure that's not how that happens you have to earn it rate my professor.com i would really prefer not um no um i think i did all right you do well then you should have no problem opening that was easy um plugs what do we guys have going on what do you want to point the people to uh let's start with kayla oh social media projects anything oh yeah i guess if you don't already follow head

gum everywhere and follow gumball please actually on twitter and linkedin you don't already follow head gum everywhere and follow gumball please actually on Twitter I don't know Jeff you got a link nice I do I do have a LinkedIn great I'll follow gumball no gumball FM right

yeah yeah gumball FM follow please so much Marika brownlee yeah yeah um you also follow both those things follow me on twitter instagram and letterboxd at marie calon also uh the first episode of confronting demons with megan stalter will be out out the week that this comes out.

So listen to that. And by first episode, that also means of the relaunched season. So there's plenty of Bat Catalog episodes to listen to. So do that. Hell yeah. May I plug myself as well? I didn't know that was a thing. I thought it was just work focused.

No, anything personal would actually be better. K. Lala Amoriarty on all the things. Thank you. Hell yeah. Is that everyone? Go ahead, Rick. Well, now I don't want to go because that's sort of admitting that I am one. Go ahead, Amir.

Oh, gosh, where do we start? There is a new D&D podcast on HeadGum, which is up a lot of people's alley. on HeadGum, which is up a lot of people's alley. I mean, you're talking about every NADD pod fan would probably really thoroughly enjoy the new sitcom D&D podcast, which is like D&D meets

Cheers. It's a D&D podcast with a live studio audience. I mean, my God, four hilarious Chicago improvisers getting it done. We're so excited and so proud to have them on. You can subscribe and listen to that where you listen. Hosted by one of the Hey,

Roodle, Roodle hosts. That's right, Aaron. What are you? Why are you? You're punching your one. So he's all bruised.

I'm going to send screenshots of it to Cohen and tell him that you beat me up. That's you're punching your one. So he's all bruised. I'm going to send screenshots of it to Cohen and tell him that you beat me up. That's you're just copying fear. And I'm fearing. That's really good. Um, at Jeffrey James on Instagram at Jeff Boyardee on twitter at i am jeffrey james on tiktok um and i thought i'd end us with a review from apple podcasts which we haven't

really done on um this show ever um this one came in from jp 34 35 about a month ago he said lots of fascia discourse not much else love the pt talk jeff is almost right about nearly some things but especially fascia keep it up five stars uh so yeah guys we're gonna make it a weekly thing i think just five star review on apple podcasts uh something funny it could be five stars but not funny i won't read it it could be two stars and hilarious and we might but ideally five stars don't do two stars also you can't write reviews on it but you should rate us five stars on spotify yeah and uh it would really help us out and until next week that's doz folks nice and then amir we're gonna need like proof that you slept outside That was a Hidgum Original.