The Hilary Silver Podcast - 9 Things WINNERS Don’t Do

Episode Date: October 4, 2024

Episode 24: 9 Things WINNERS Don’t Do   What makes high achievers stand out? Hilary Silver is here to break down 9 things winners don’t do—trust us, it’s not what you think. Ready to up your game in life, love, or business? This episode is your VIP ticket!   Episode Highlights: Winners don’t sit around complaining. They handle it, find solutions, and move on.  Blame games are for losers. Winners own their stuff and get to work fixing the problem, not shifting the blame. Making excuses? Not a chance. Winners know excuses get you nowhere—own up, learn, and do better next time. Life’s not happening to you—it’s happening because of you. Winners take the reins and steer their own ship. Who cares if people don’t validate you? Winners know they’re already enough, no outside approval required. Entitlement? Please. Winners create their own opportunities by showing up, grinding hard, and staying focused. Winners aren’t worried about someone else’s success; they’re too busy creating their own and cheering on others. People-pleasing? Not today. Winners know who they are, stay true to themselves, and don’t bend to fit someone else’s mold. Fear is natural, but winners choose faith. They push through uncertainty, trust the process, and keep growing.   Episode Breakdown: [00:00] The Unwritten Rules of Winners [01:08] Complaining? Not Here [01:47] Blame is a Loser’s Game [02:20] Excuses Don’t Fly [03:29] Victim Mentality? No Thanks [04:27] Validation is Overrated [05:39] Nobody Owes You Anything [06:22] Celebrate, Don’t Hate [07:10] Stay Authentic or Bust [07:51] Faith Over Fear, Always   Listener Takeaways: Take a hard look at these 9 traits—are you embodying them, or falling into the trap of what winners don’t do? Discover how tweaking your mindset can kick those bad habits to the curb—like making excuses or waiting for validation. Get fired up to face fear head-on, trust the process, and step into your next level of success.   This episode is your wake-up call—because winners are made by what they don’t do. Tune in, take notes, and get ready to crush it in every part of your life!   Get more incredible resources from Hilary! Click here to access all of her free paradigm-flipping tools: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/ 

The most successful people among us operate in very specific ways that set them up for such success. They think a certain way and they manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them apart. I'm calling these people winners because they always seem to come out on top. They win in love, they win in business, they win in life. So today I'm sharing nine things that highly successful people don't do, kind of like codes of conduct. And as you're listening, be honest with yourself, which of these codes do you do and which do you also not do? Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today. If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me

if you'd take a minute to just click that five-star rating on your podcast app, leave a review, and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And I have a free gift for anyone wanting to learn the quickest way to get unstuck, achieve your goals, and get anything that you want. I will drop that link in the description. Okay, let's get into it. So the first thing that winners don't do, they don't complain. Things aren't always as we expect or want them to be, and it's okay to notice that. But just complaining about it doesn't do anything to resolve situations or circumstances, so it's a negative low energy activity. And winners don't waste their energy on things out of their control. So winners will either do something

to resolve the situation when it's possible, rather than just complaining about it, or they focus on what they can control, which is themselves, how they react and their attitude about the situation. Number two, winners don't blame. Blaming always makes matters worse. Whether it's who broke the thing or who messed up the thing or who started it, who was at fault does not fix the issue. So rather than cast blame and point the finger, winners focus on the solution. They fix the issue and they move on. Maybe you heard me say this in a previous episode, but winners deal with problems. They don't dwell on them. I always say to my kids or even my team, I really don't care who did it. Let's just clean it up, focusing on moving forward. Number three, winners don't make excuses. This is about getting

defensive and making excuses for shortcomings or mistakes. It's shirking responsibility. Winners take ownership and radical responsibility for themselves. They're willing to see how they contributed to a situation and see the opportunities in that to learn and grow and just improve or get better. There's a big difference between explaining and excusing. So

knowing the cause of something can be helpful, but the distinction here is not allowing the explanation to become an excuse. We all have to take responsibility for our choices and our decisions and our actions. And this is important in relationships and in business. The subconscious motivator to avoid or shirk responsibility is avoiding shame. So if we feel shame for making a mistake or not performing well, forget about it. We will never own it. So the next time someone is having a hard time owning up to something, just consider that because shame work is so liberating. Even if that someone is you, it actually feels a whole lot better than we think it will when we own it. Number four, winners don't feel sorry for

themselves. It can be very easy to sink into poor me thinking or the sky is falling when things aren't going well, but victim mentality is the number one cause of all disease and dis-ease. I 100% believe that with all my being. Self-pity and making a murder of yourself or being a victim is the lowest energetic and vibrational state that we can be in. It's a powerless state of being, and it completely lacks personal accountability. So again, we all contribute to every situation that we are in and taking radical responsibility for ourselves and our role and what we might have done or not

done is absolutely essential. Winners understand that bad things happen to everyone and life isn't always fair. It's what you do with this stuff that matters, okay? It's what you do and the meaning that you make and what you're going to do moving forward that matters the most. Number five, winners don't seek validation, acceptance, or approval from external sources. This behavior gives your power away to other people. If other people determine your worth and value, then when that person doesn't deem you worthy, you are not. Or when they leave or exit your life, there goes your worth and value, then when that person doesn't deem you worthy, you are not. Or when they leave or exit your life, there goes your worth and your value with them. If your worth and your value is tied to an external circumstance, an accomplishment, or an achievement,

then if that accomplishment doesn't happen, what happens to your worth and value? It's diminished or it just disappears. So winners know that their worth and their value is inherent to them. It is intrinsic, internal, inside of them. So they don't need to chase after approval and they don't need to prove themselves to anyone. No one person or entity can validate you or approve of you enough to fill a hole left by this lack in ourselves. This void can only be filled by each one of us for ourselves. It is our own validation, approval, or acceptance that makes us whole and happy and healthy. Number six, winners don't feel entitled, which means they don't feel like the world owes them something, whether that's because they've suffered or they have a situation or a past hardship, or even because they have a certain status.

Expecting something for nothing, expecting free, expecting favors, expecting handouts simply because of circumstances is like thinking you're a special snowflake among all snowflakes that are unique. It's the quickest way to not win. So winners don't have a handout expecting anything. They look for the opportunities in everything. They do the work and they believe in the inevitability of their success because they know they are worthy and capable. Number seven, winners don't begrudge other people's success. Resenting other people's success, feeling threatened by it is a scarcity mindset. Believing that someone else's success takes away the potential for your own. That's a big problem. Winners have an abundance mindset

and know that winning begets winning. It's believing that a win for one of us is a win for all of us. And it's also believing that if it's possible for that person, then it's also possible for me. So we aren't competing for the same slice of pie. There's enough pie for all of us to get our fill. There's enough love and happiness and money and success for everyone. And seeing someone else win is just evidence that winning is possible. Celebrating people winning. Number eight, winners don't shapeshift. What do I mean by this? Well, I mean that they don't bend or contort themselves to please other people or make other people happy. Winners stay true to themselves no matter who they are with or what situation they are in. They don't change, edit, alter, or filter themselves. They don't bite their

tongue to avoid conflict or to keep the peace. Winners have healthy boundaries and aren't afraid of saying no or setting limits. So they know who they are and what they want and need, and they don't sacrifice themselves for others, but rather give from a place of authenticity and power. Number nine, winners do not allow fear to be at the wheel. When I was working towards closing my private practice and building my online coaching business, I spent a lot of money on programs and coaches and tech people and PR and branding and all of that, up to more than $100,000 in a span of just four years. And then on top of that, I signed up for a mastermind that was $75,000

for the year before I even made any money online. And while that was scary, I knew that doing so would help me achieve my goals. I was betting on myself. If you can't bet on yourself, who can you bet on? So this is about choosing faith over fear. Faith in yourself, faith in the outcome, faith that it'll all work out no matter what. And seeing the opportunity in every experience means that we can handle and deal with anything that comes our way. Over time, this practice diminishes fear altogether. So while there is a lot of uncertainty and unknowns in the world, winners don't allow fear to be the driving force behind their decisions. It is those among us who are willing to take the risks to get that experience. And then from there, we get to enjoy the rewards. We take chances. We face change.

We have hard conversations. We are vulnerable. We make investments. As the famous quote goes, fortune favors the bold. So there you go, the nine things that winners don't do. I'd love to know which of these you already don't do, which you're good at, and which one of these maybe you have some room for improvement. Please share it in the comments below or hit reply to any of my emails. And if you're not

on my email list, don't forget you can grab that freebie that I mentioned earlier by going to hillarysilver.com forward slash subscribe.