The Hilary Silver Podcast - #94: Dating After Loss: How Charlene Found Real Love Again

Episode Date: December 12, 2025

Charlene thought she was ready to date after losing her husband and parents, but she struggled to find real love with the men she was dating. Each relationship reflected the same old wounds she carried into her marriage: overgiving, hoping for scraps of connection, and treating attention like approval. Nothing shifts until you’re willing to look at what keeps repeating and ask why it still has a hold on you. That question became her turning point. Inside the Ready for Love program, she rebuilt trust with herself. She named her dating non-negotiables for the first time in her life. She stepped into dating with a calm, grounded confidence that didn’t need someone else’s interest to feel worthy. What happens when a woman dates with that mindset? She attracts people who actually fit the life she wants rather than the wounds she’s healing. This episode offers a clear look at dating after loss, breaking old patterns, and choosing partners from strength rather than fear. It invites you to consider where your own standards live and whether you’ve been settling for connections that don't match the depth you want. Episode Highlights: Dating after loss and how grief can shape your patterns Why emotionally unavailable men kept showing up The moment Charlene recognized she needed a new approach How naming her non-negotiables changed her confidence What dating looks like when you lead with self-respect How falling in love with herself shifted everything Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Facing Grief and Loss 05:07 Reflections on Marriage and Relationships 11:40 The Self-Confidence Transformation Process 19:22 Dating Again With Real Confidence 24:40 Embracing Self-Love and Empowerment 31:24 Advice for Women Attracting the Wrong Men ✨ I’m Hilary Silver, LCSW, former psychotherapist turned master coach and founder of Ready for Love. I help high-achieving women show up in love as confidently as they do in their careers. 💡 Through this podcast, I share my WOMAN-centered, SELF-centered approach—time-tested methods that blend psychology, brain science, relationship skills, and no-BS dating advice. 🎙️ Since 2017, we’ve helped over 10,000 women with a 98% success rate, making Ready for Love the #1 program in the world for women who’ve tried everything else. ✨ Ready to stop repeating the same patterns and finally create the love you deserve?  🎯 Watch my free masterclass to learn the proven 4-step Ready for Love Method: https://readyforloveinc.com/masterclass 💬 Apply for a free Love Breakthrough Call with my team: https://readyforloveinc.com/apply LINKS: Cozy Earth: Your New Favorite Blanket Up to 40% off their Bubble Cuddle blanket and more. Use Promo Code: READYFORLOVE at CozyEarth.com AirDoctor: The Trusted Air Purifier for a Healthier Home Use Promo Code: READY Up to $300 off + Free 3-Year Warranty Exclusive Podcast Offer

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beyond apparel. Quince has beautiful pieces for home, bath, kitchen, and travel too. So you can bring that same elevated quality into more moments of your day. Find gifts so good you'll want to keep them for yourself with Quince. Go to quince.com slash ready for love for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's quince.com. Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash ready-for-love to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Ready for Love podcast. Hey, everybody.

Welcome to the Ready for Love podcast. Today is another special day where we are interviewing one of our Ready for Love alumni, our graduates of our program. And if you've been listening to the last many weeks, we've been infusing into these weekly conversations, these types of interviews because I really want to give you an opportunity to hear from women who've gone through a program. It's inspirational. It's motivational. It's educational. And it gives me an opportunity to really highlight the amazing women that I get to work with that do our program

because I really truly believe that any woman who's willing to look in the mirror, do the work on herself, is the most elite and extraordinary woman on the planet. And I want to share them with you. We all want to know these types of women. So without, further ado today we are speaking with charlene she is a fabulous fabulous lady and i can't wait for you to hear from her um and just a brief intro she was a teacher for 29 years thank you thank you for being a teacher the most underappreciated of among us i believe for 29 years like you've got to be the most uber patient human being in the world can i have some of your patience please um and then you retired, she retired and is now a master transformational health and life coach. And

spoil alert, which I hate to say and I hate to do, but she is now one of the coaches for our program. Yay! Such an amazing woman is now part of our team. I love when that happens. So welcome Charlene. I just got goosebumps, by the way. So exciting. I'm so happy to be here. I love, so a lot of women go through our program and then want to work for us. And I think, of course, I, again, we work with the most amazing women in the program as clients. So why wouldn't I want you to be part of my team? So yes, we're doing that. It's amazing. So, okay, so what we want to know is when you decided to join the program, where were you at in life? What was going on with you? What were you struggling with? Okay. So we're going to do some backstory then. So back in May,

of 2022 my husband was diagnosed with cancer and you know anything that could have gone wrong did and he succumbed to you know he died basically nine months later and i spent the last you know two and a half years um morning grieving and my parent my mother died in the midst i mean it was it was a rough three years like my mom my husband and then my dad so three paramount people died in my life and And, you know, I spent, I've been in all forms of therapy in my entire life, different modalities. And I felt back in, you know, you know, May, June, I'm like, I feel like I'm ready to get back into the ring after everything that I've gone through. Because I'm young, you know, I love, I love to be loved. I love to love. And I'm like, I think I'm ready. And I went on to a dating app. And the guys that I was attracting, I'm like, oh, my God, I was a hot mess.

And I'm like, this is, this is not good. It was like, I felt I was desperate. And every time I'd be on my phone, I'd be scrolling through, I'd see your program. And I'm like, hmm. And I was just paused for a second. And I would hear things. And I would just sit, I'm like, okay, and I would just keep swiping along. But there was a day, like, I think it was the fourth guy I went out with that.

It was like that breaking point of like, I am a mess. How I am showing up. I am attracting these disasters of men. No, you know, no offense. But I'm like, what the hell is going on with me? I clearly need help. I need help. Something is wrong in here, you know, and even though I was doing a deep dive on my marriage,

because all marriages are work, and, you know, I realized that I was showing up in desperation and all that. It was still there. So I realized I hadn't healed. So I was like, I remember calling. I remember the day I called. It was my sister's birthday. And I called them on the phone. I'm like, okay, I'm ready, you know, like, I need to do something.

And so I joined it was, it was, you had just gone through a shitstorm in your own life. Oh, my God. It was a total shit storm. You thought you were ready, but when you were dating, what you were experiencing really was a mirror for you and you realized, I don't think I'm ready. So, yeah. Yeah, it was so heavy. Everything felt so heavy. I'm like, why is it so heavy? You know, like, oh, like, I'm broken. I'm in the middle of a divorce. It was so heavy. I'm like, oh, you know. So you were attracting men who were in the middle of divorces. You were attracting men who had issues, who were in, in trouble.

Emotionally unavailable, the whole nine yards, right? So yeah, that was, that was my big thing. I love that you had the foresight or the insight to recognize that something was going on with you to ask yourself, what am I doing wrong? Why is this what I'm experiencing? Instead of just blaming all men being shitty. No, I think it was me. Well, I mean, you figure, you know, you know, with therapy, you always the mirror, when you're married, the mirror is always in your face.

So it's like, you know, and so to me, it made sense that like, it's clearly the energy I'm putting out is the energy that's coming back my way. So I was like, okay. I can't seem to figure this out on my own. I need help. Yeah. Well, and we're going to talk about that in a second.

What I'd like to do is back up and actually talk about your marriage a little bit. And I'm doing this for any listener who's been in your situation. And I train my team who does those enrollment calls to how to handle this. Because not all women who were married and our widows had a good experience in their marriage. some did some didn't and i know actually i learned this from doing these calls myself and and these calls that we do are these like 75 minute deep dive conversations with women to make sure we're a fit can we really help you and we do get a lot of women who who are widows and book calls with us and what what most of the women get from their friends their therapist is you poor thing you're so

grieving you're how hard for you and while that might be a part of it it's not always all of it and we provide a safe confidential space to tell the truth and i once had a woman say thank god he died because that was the only way i was ever going to get out of that situation and i learned oh my god like let's not assume that somebody who's a widow is the grieving widow they you know we can't assume anybody's experience. And so what we started doing on the calls when we have a widow on the phone is saying, look, like marriage is hard. Nothing is ever perfect. Relationships take work and are a struggle. You're getting a second chance at this that you didn't want to have, expect to have, or ever thought that you would. So what was not working in your marriage that you really want

to do differently the next time around? And I love that question because it really allows women a space to just be honest about, well, that was a good marriage, but it wasn't great. Another woman once told me that she had been in an abusive marriage or an abusive relationship. And so when she married the man she did, she picked a good guy. He was safe. He provided security. He was kind and gentle and loving. But she spent 20 years in a marriage without like without passion, without connection, without a great sex life. And so she was grateful and she never would have left. But here she is having an opportunity to do this again, and that is one thing that she really was hoping to get the next time around. So for you then, having said all that, what was going on in your

marriage? What was your marriage like that, you know, whether it was good, bad, all around, all of it, like perfectly imperfect and whatever it was, what was going on in your marriage that you wanted, that you now know you want to do differently going forward? So it's interesting because going back to the first date, like it was the best first date I've ever been on. You know, my friend set us up. She's like, I found the perfect guy for you. He was 6'6, like 200, like big muscular guy. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, it was beautiful.

I was so attracted to him. And it turned into this whirlwind. And it was crazy. And it was, and I remember along the way, Hillary, like there are things. I'm like, slow down. And I wouldn't slow down. I was like, oh, I got to keep the momentum going because he sees me. He likes me because all my life, it's like, you always want somebody to like you and to see you.

And so I realized one of my big things was I was always looking out. outside instead of looking inside, like looking outside for affirmation, looking outside for acceptance, looking outside. So I was always hungry for that. And he provided that. But what was interesting is he had his insecurities. I came in with mine. And it was this very, I had a very tumultuous marriage, very tumultuous. It was either wonderful or it was God awful. And, you know, he would threaten to leave. Like, I'm leaving. And I would leach on. Don't leave. I would literally abandonment issues would be like flying high. high and I'm grabbing onto him for dear life saying, please don't leave me, please don't leave me. It was intense, but then, and so, but then it would be like these moments of like, oh, you're the greatest thing ever. So you're like, okay, so those little crumbs just kind of keep you in the game and those little glimpses of hope would just keep me in the game for the 12 years that we were together. And so, and over time, I was like, I literally, my light just got dimmer and dimmer and dimmer because I allowed that to happen, you know, and I don't point my finger at him. I own that.

I'm like, I allowed this to happen. And that's the work that I, that I've been doing of like, I realize that I have to take responsibility for my action in that marriage. And I showed up in ways that I'm like, ooh, you know, that was like in desperation, in agony, in pain. And like, I wasn't showing up in love. I was showing up in desperation in that marriage. And, you know, and I clung to that man. I clung hard. And but over time, like, you know, throughout or, you know, throughout the last couple of years, you know, he would threaten.

to leave and I was like go ahead you know and then he was I said we would play this manipulative back and forth game so for me it was it was it was really unhealthy with an underlying current of love and friendship which was really strange because we were really good friends so when like the shit would hit the fan we'd sit out on the front porch and he'd be like thank god we're friends I'm like thank god we're friends and when he got sick by the way before he got sick we were talking about separating we're like I'm like I've had enough like I've reached my breaking point where I'm like I am done with trying to fit into this mold that I'm too much for you, that I'm too this, that I'm too. I'm done. I need to be who I am because I was getting sick of that. And

even our lifestyles were different. He didn't like to travel. I love to travel. You know, I love to be around people. He wasn't as social as I was. So, you know, in looking back at all of that, I'm like, hmm, it really did shine a light on stuff. And when he got sick, we did have a big blowout. I was like, you don't, I'm like, I'm not going anywhere. You don't kick somebody when they're down. I'm like, we are friends. And I love you. I'm never going to stop loving you and so you know having gone through that like watching him get sick and being with him through his sickness actually brought us together because it's like when you're staring death in the face you know all of a sudden let go with the shit that doesn't matter and for the first time

in 12 years that man leaned into me and I was like oh there you are I've been looking for you the entire where the hell have you been you know so it was a really powerful and yeah it was my god It was so powerful. I could cry. So, you know, and like I said, I think back and about all that I did and acted. And I'm like my, and I want to hug that woman so much. It'd be like, oh, oh, my goodness, you were in so much pain. And you two could not figure out how to love each other in a way that you wanted to be loved. So, yeah.

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That's just an incredible story. Yeah. Yeah, I almost got teary for a second, too. Like, I did actually. I'm like, not going to go to the gudley cry. But like that I think that probably is probably what a lot of people have in their relationship,

which is like highs and lows, don't know how to get out of it. You can't live with, can't live without somebody. Yes. Yeah. And it's a lot. It's a, it's not bad enough to leave. It's, you know. Oh, the negotiations in this brain, ooh, the justification that you sit in that brain.

Like, you know. Yeah. And then, oh, and then I don't want to be alone. and, you know, I'd rather be with this and then be alone. Like, you literally do go through a lot of, like, turmoil in your mind. I mean, people stay in that, should I stay or should I go for years at that limbo of, right? It's not bad enough to leave, but it's not great enough to stay. And can I take this anymore?

So, you know, we always talk in the program about the lessons and the blessings and how everything ends up working out in your favor. Well, it's definitely not a good thing that he's gone. however for you being the survivor of that of that relationship to learn your lessons for yourself is a gift that's all that you can do with it so then moving forward then when you were dating were you seeing yourself showing up the same way as you had been in your marriage yeah i did and it was interesting because i was saying to myself i'm like oh all the stuff that i've been gone through all the healing stuff all the last like x amount of years and all of a sudden i'm like i'm attracting

a people like him you know with their insecurities and and and the heaviness and the intensity it was so intense and i'm like this is not good and i could just feel it in my bones i'm like oh my god i'm going down the same rabbit hall i'm going down the same path that i was doing before but i don't know what to do about i'm like i need help that's what i was saying i'm like i can't figure this out on my own i need help yeah well this is how women go through whether it's a divorce or just ending a long relationship, it's how women end up repeating patterns, right? You go through the whole laborious, exhausting process of dismantling a life together if it's by choice and divorce or whatever.

It's not the same with a death, but like moving on from a relationship only to then find yourself in another one that's exactly the same. It's just a big blind spot. So I love that you were able to self-reflect enough to see, oh, my God, I'm doing it again, I'm inviting this dynamic. Yeah, I was like, no, thank you. I can't, I cannot do this. I can't. Yeah. Because I was just living, reliving and owning what I was reliving. I'm like, no way. Well, and a lot of women do that. They see where they're going wrong, but they don't know what to do differently and how to do it. So it's knowing better, but not doing better.

Sounds like where you were stuck. Well, it's almost like you have like a textbook that you learn something from. And then when you go to apply it, you're like, I don't know how to, wait a minute, that's, I'm not, wait, hold on, I'm not doing it. Right? And that was, what it was. I'm like, I know, I know what I'm supposed to do. I know how things are supposed to be, but I'm not actually implementing that, you know, I'm not employing that. Yeah, I'm not living that. Yeah, it's execution. Like, you know, like executing it. Like on paper, I know what I'm supposed to do, but what does that look like in action? Okay. So what I want to know now then, share with everybody what you came to learn about what you were doing wrong or what needed to heal for you. Like,

what specific, you know, there's the behaviors and how you're acting and what you're doing. but there's also kind of underneath it all, like what's going on at the deeper level. So whatever insights from the program that you got or tools that were really that stuck with you that helped you see this and then shift it. I mean, for me, I can, I almost know the modules really well. So, and, you know, one of the biggest things

that really initially when I first started watching them was the sunny side up. I love that where you're talking about how we eclipse one another in relationships, but you're like, no, there's space for you and then your togetherness and that visual was so really powerful. That was the first thing that I was

like, you can coexist together and stay exactly who you are. Because to me, like, one of the things that I will never do is dim my light again. My light is shining brightly. So by going through this program and all these amazing things that you come along, you come to

realize how you're showing up and like what my insecurities were, the abandonment issues and not being enough, not being lovable. You know, and so and just having and always looking outside for those affirmations you know and me going through that and the how dare you exercise is on the things that were in the ways that you were wronged and and family expectations like it's like holy crap and how you know you're showing up is like a connector in one space and a differentiator and others and I'm like oh I'm a connector when I'm with my brother

but is it an interesting that I'm the differentiated the overbear when I'm what it's just so interesting like when you're you think that what I love is the consciousness of things And again, the way that you frame things is different from anything I've ever experienced. Like, we've gone, I've gone through the childhood, whatever. But you do it in such a way that I'm like, damn, this is, oh, my God. Like, I've had so many, like, epiphanies as I would go through this program. And, you know, and like when you go through the, like, the ace conversation was one of my, I do it all the time. I'm acing constantly.

Like, I'm always popping up to, like, one of my little ones. I've got, like, a 12-year-old. I've got an 8-year-old. I've got a, you know, I had like a, my 50, my 53-year-old from a few months ago, right? So I was talking to her. And so it's like you have these great tools that you actually provide that you can that you that you use forever, right? That you can that just become part of your identity. The thing I struggled with the most honestly was putting together my non-negotiable, my, my values, my non-negotiables.

I had took me three weeks because I had never realized. I never asked myself what I wanted. What do I want? It was always about, oh, he sees me. He wants me. He sees, oh, he wants me. he wants me and I never asked myself what I wanted and it right I'm like that was like my that was probably my like hello I had never asked myself what do I want in a like in a guy and that's why it took me so long and it was like I can't

like wow and it was at first I was like holy I was just blown away by that and then when I dove deep into it I dug deep I'm like and I put all that together all my values all my non-negotiables I was like okay and now I like they are with me they are present any you know so So when I went back into the dating pool, you know, the different guys were showing up. Like different energies were coming my way. The Charlene was different. Charleneynees showed up. And I'm like, there she is, you know.

Yeah. And like all that I am and realizing. And but the other thing to Hillary is that I, the biggest, even bigger than like asking like for what I want, I fell in love with myself in this program. I am like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm fucking awesome. I'm pretty fucking great, you know? And so that's what my big takeaway is. I'm like, yeah, so nobody, I have this impervious, you know, space in my little world that, you know, that it's like, people like they talk about boundaries.

And mine is like this little warm space with a fireplace and like books and all that. And people can come visit. And it's like, you can come. You can come. And, you know, let go with the outcome. That was another big takeaway. care about outcomes. You know, I'm just living in the moment. I'm living in the, and I'm living for me. Hi, it's Hillary. If you're like me, you want to give gifts that people actually

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Newsweek named it the best air purifier and 98% of air doctor customers agree their air feels cleaner, safer, and healthier too. It even captures particles 100 times smaller than standard hepa filters. If you're ready to breathe easier and create a healthier home for you and your family, get this exclusive podcast-only offer now at air doctorpro.com and use the promo code ready for up to $300 off. You'll get a 30-day money-back guarantee and a three-year warranty for free. That's airdoctorpro.com promo code ready because clean air is one of the best gifts you can give yourself and your family. Oh my gosh, my cheeks hurt so bad. Right. And that's what it is. Like I'm living for me And I'm like, it feels so good.

And I'm doing what I want to do. Yes. Oh my gosh. You just said so many amazing things that I want to go back to and break it all down for our listeners. Yes. Let's break it down. Yeah. The non-negotiables. Like, honestly, so many women.

And you'd be surprised how many high achieving, super successful, smart women, educated women show up in their love lives, just taking what they're getting and not getting what they want. Because they don't even know, A, what they want, that they can ask for what they want, that they can choose what they want. They're not clear what they want. And so some guy comes along and he's interested in you and you're like, okay, I'm interested because you're interested in me. Yes.

And that is like such a low bar. Hello, how many men are going to be interested in you because you're interesting and you're amazing. That is not a reason to be interested in somebody. Yes. So I love that. And that's like you said, one of the biggest things. But you listed so many of the tools.

And it just always always like, I know. there's a lot in there. And it's just a lot. But when I hear women talk about it, it's like, oh, yeah, that. Oh, that. And that. Like, I created that. And it's so amazing. And you're right. It's one stacked on top of another after another after another. And they all work together in this really synergistic way to get deep down into the part of you that actually unlocks the change. Because so many women have done a lot of work on themselves already. And so they have all the knowledge. said at the beginning where you know better but you're not doing better it's not it's just not integrating it's not becoming yes it doesn't unlock and so all these different modalities and

metaphors and things and tools that i'm giving get get access like it it finally is like gets the access to the deep part of yourself so that it actually clicks over and changes and so the sunny side up which came up on our um the last interview too that we did for the listeners is really my model. So you're not going to Google it and find it. It is my creation. It is how after working with couples for 15 years, I developed this new framework for understanding what it means to be healthy in a relationship, how to be healthy in a relationship. And it is called the Sunny Side Up because there's a visual model of it and it looks like two fried eggs. And I couldn't think of any other thing to call it.

So that's what it was. But it is so profound. And we teach that in the very first 20 minutes because it's like getting slapped in the face with, holy shit. Yes. I've been doing it wrong my whole life. That was huge, by the way. That was one of the, I was like, oh, my God.

It was so arresting, you know? And so that just knocked me on my ass and it's such a good way. I was like, oh, oh, my God. You know what it was? It was hope. It was possible. It was possibility. oh my god i've been seeing things in a i i'm shifting my lens as we speak just by but just by that diagram

alone just yeah shifted something inside yeah it is pretty amazing it was brilliant hiler it was it's brilliant well thank you your program it's a your program is it's a brilliantly i mean is brilliant program i still journal i journal every day yeah i manifest i have visualizations i manifest things in my head and they come it's like unbelievable so you know it really is the perfect combination of like the science of psychology and neuroscience to change your brain and the manifesting law of attraction stuff. It really is where science meets Wu kind of and the multiple modalities that are in this program that really help us reprogram the deepest parts of ourselves. You said so many of those tools and I'm trying to remember some of the ones.

I talk about the ace. I talk about the ace. The ace. Yeah. Well, that was, that's a brilliant contribution to the program by Sherry, our lead coach, who's like zone of genius and her area of expertise where she actually creates some of her own, you know, body of work is around the inner child healing. And the ACE conversation is something that Sherry created that helps women walk through how to talk to the little you inside of you. She calls it your little who to actually continue the healing in a way even now. And, and, and, It is brilliant. The way I see the ACE conversation is like you get to go back and reparent yourself

in a way that you weren't, that you didn't get. Like you get to be the parent, so you get to take charge. And that's, again, goes, you're taking your power back. That's what this is all about. You're taking back your power in several years. You're being empowered. This is a program of empowerment, literally, you know? And that, right, and that falling in love with yourself.

And to me, that was like, I am, like I said, I will not compromise myself ever again. like I won't so this so you have changed this you have changed my life my life has completely changed well you changed your life well you gave me the tools how about this you gave me the tools to change my life in a way that I was you know like you said I've been doing I've I've so much education behind things but it was like I wasn't doing I wasn't enacting it and you created a program that made it possible to do that yeah thank you so much it's yeah it's yeah it's just gets better and better. So everybody wants to know, are you dating somebody? What's going on in your love life? I am. So the funny thing is, is when I went back into the ring, if you will,

you know, I had the you and me profile. It was playful. So I was getting a lot of, you know, stuff coming back. And I actually lowered the age group of guys that I was seeing because I was like, oh, my friends are like, you are so energetic. You are so alive. Go younger. See what happens. I'm like, okay. So a whole pool of, you know, people did end. So what was interesting is every guy I would go out with was like a really great guy, but they got better and better and better. So the guy right before, you know, the guy I'm seeing now, like intellectual, like a great human being,

but the heat wasn't there. But I'm like, oh, my God, but he's such a great guy. And, you know, it's like, no, no, no, we're not doing the thumbs. Maybe the old you would have stayed and tried to make it work. The old may would have stayed and tried to make it work. I know that, because that was the old me. And that's where I had the ace conversation with her. I'm like, listen to you, you know, I know we're two for three,

but we're going to be three for three because we are abundant. We are a banquet. We're not getting crumbs. We're going for the whole freaking thing. So, you know, and like a very nice conversation with the guy or whatever. And then I came, you know, met this very, like, sweet, handsome guy who's, you know, he's wonderful. He's just a great human being. And, you know, we talk heat.

heart you know um what was the third head thank you heat heart and head i'm like boom check check to all the non-negotiable everything just checks i'm like wow and just you know just continues to surprise me about what a amazing human being that he is and it's like oh and the other thing that i love i'm in no rush i'm not worried about outcomes i'm not setting any long-term goals i am literally living in the moment and embracing the moment and just enjoying the time getting to know him him getting to know me learning about each other and just enjoying the space that we have together while also enjoying the space that I like to myself. So like it's like when you think about what you want, I am getting exactly what I want. So, you know, because I do enjoy my freedom. I do enjoy, you know, because I'm a busy

woman. I'm building this whole career, but I'm also enjoying having this space with this really lovely human being who is bringing out my creativity and encouraging me to do things. And it's just, it's such a I'm like this is I there's no like I would often come from a space of desperate I'm just coming from a space of love and giving and receiving and I'm feminine I'm so feminine with him like you know not trying to control anything and I'm just like I'm sitting back and he's like cooking me dinner he's like you know what what else can I do for you I'm like okay you know it's just it's so nice I'm like I'm like such a girl and I love it I'm like just loving this you know And it's like, I know I can, yeah.

I love that as you were dating the second time around after the program, the quality of men that you were attracting got better. And as you continued to elevate yourself and show up more and more you, you were attracting more and more great men. That's how it works. It is a mirror. Like attracts like. And so I just love you just waited until you found all three things, all your. all your boxes checked, it's all of it. But you also trusted yourself to know the difference, right?

There's a difference between a list on paper and recognizing it in real life when it's standing in front of you and that you're not on the lookout for the red flags. You just trust yourself if something doesn't feel right, you're going to take care of it. Or it's not right. Like the guy before the one you're seeing now, like slowly unfolded that it wasn't right. Yeah. You can trust yourself not to sacrifice, not to settle. not to sell out and to wait.

Yes. So how long has it been then? So it's, we're like a couple of months in now, you know? It's like maybe two and a half months in. And it's really nice. And I'm having so much fun. Like, I don't feel any pressure. And it's like I'm in the fact, and I like the slowness of it, you know,

because I'm just like, you know, and I love how there's no rush. There's nowhere, you know, and I just, and to me, it's just so exciting. And then like the other thing, it's like, you know, the chemistry on all levels is powerful. Do you know what I mean? Yes. We're singing karaoke and we're having fun. And he's like, and he's like, we got to write a song because I want you to record,

you record you because you have such a lovely voice. I mean, he's, he's adorable, you know? And so like I said, he's bringing out things in me that I've always been aware of, but just never really channeled. And he's like, no, no, let's do that. Like I have a keyboard in the basement. He's like, do you play this? I'm like, I want to.

He's show him. He's like, oh, why don't you start with these cores? He's so cute, you know what I mean? That's like really sweet. sweet easy little things got me a journal because he knows I love to write got me these cute little books on self-care because he's like oh your clients might like these and might be useful for them you know what I mean like just these little thoughtful things and his heart is good and he's a generous beautiful human being and I'm like oh my god I'm oh I'm seeing a mirror here you know and it's

just really and I'm like wow amazing when you and when you show up in your full loving you know self like where you are so like you know you are so in and with yourself and loving yourself you shine that light out and that's what you attract back and that's the biggest thing that i'm that i'm seeing yeah and you're not showing up starved for that no so you're not settling and you're not in a rush because you already have what you need so he's just like you are your own reward in all of this yeah he's just the the cherry on top really he really is and the thing is is like if it doesn't i don't care if it works out or not. I'm going to be fine because I've got me. I'm my best friend. I'm my BFF. You know, that's what it is. It's like, and knowing that, it is so freeing. You're like,

okay, so you could just be in the present and enjoy what you have instead of like, well, what about this? And what about that? I had a friend. She's like, well, what about what about? I'm like, why don't you take your projections and take a deep breath. I don't care. You know, like I'm not worried about it. So yeah. Well, I feel so lucky that you crossed our path because you were the perfect client for us. This is my favorite outcome, of course, and that now you get to come be a part of our team and help other women rock the journey and get to the place where they feel as amazing about themselves as you do about yours. So is there anything that you want to say to anybody who's listening who's on the fence and they're thinking, oh, should I, shouldn't I?

What if it doesn't work for me? Or I don't know, maybe it's too scary or like what words of wisdom do you have now that you're on the other side? For those of you who are like questioning, just imagine a whole new world for yourself because again, it is, I could cry how beautiful it. Like it, don't waste the time is now. If you're on the fence, cross over the fence,

let the courage take the grip, grip the hand of your fear and walk together into that light because, you know, it's like that's what your life will change. If you're ready to show up, Like when you are ready to show up, your whole life is going to change in such a way that you will be like this force of love and nature that is going to attract exactly what you want and exactly what you deserve. That is what you're going to get out of this. You are going to attract the most amazing human beings, not just people you're dating, but other human beings are going to come into your life that are absolutely magnificent. So that's what it is.

It's like you show up in your authentic true self where you're just like everything is, it's like you're like a, it's like a, it's. like you're like superpower you're showing up in your full self and that's what this program has done i show up fully and completely myself i take up space i am proud to take up space in this world and i love the love that i shine out that i have from within that just shines out so yeah take up space girl take it up i love it i'm here you know i'm alive and i want and this also gets you to live your life as full it's to the fullest you want to live fully this will teach you how to live fully yeah you know nothing's holding me back yeah that's what is you live fully you like you live fully because that's the thing like after like todd died there was a time i was like i was ready to take myself out but there

was a moment i woke up and i was like no i want to live i want to live and this is living this is absolute living where there's nothing holding you back and and like my whole career is just launching like i am i am like there's opportunities just in abundance coming my way and that's what it is i have the abundance mindset that's the other thing there's no scarcity I'm like, uh-uh, there's enough for all of us. There's enough for me. There's enough to go around. So there's so many, when I tell you, as I keep talking about, oh, my God, there's so much more that we keep on earthing that I got out of this program.

So it is just, holy shit. It is a masterpiece, I have to say. Like, some of my men, you should give yourself a giant, yeah, no. They're like, you put too much in there. I'm like, no, we're solving the problem, whatever it takes. No, you didn't. Yeah. And women go back.

I went back and rewatched several videos and things like. that there was there's a video i think it's module six or seven like when you're out doing a file going out on a date you do like this awesome like you're a badass or whatever and i'm like i'm like yeah and i would listen to it before i would go out on a date like you know just channel your inner femininity and your sexual all that stuff and i would just want and i'm getting ready and i'm listening so i'm like yeah and it was just you know i mean like i mean literally you thought of everything how about that you thought of everything from start to finish yeah so and it was this was so beautifully cleverly brilliantly pieced together yay well i describe it as an all-you-can-eat buffet

like a smorgas board and you definitely came hungry and you gorged on all the goodness and it shows so like thank you so much for coming into this doing the work for yourself i'm so happy for you and then also for sharing your story for all the listeners today it's it's just beautiful and i hope everybody listening is happy for you. It's like palpable. You're jumping off the screen as we're talking on on Zoom and yeah, my cheeks still hurt. No. Thank you. This is awesome. I'm so many levels. Yay. Well, I know I get to talk to you more now that you're part of our team, but I'm so excited to, you know, have you. And if anybody is listening and you want to take the next steps, just go to readyforlove.com forward slash apply. Fill out an application to talk to us and you might be our next

client that Charlene gets to work with. So yay. Yay. Thanks for being here. We'll see you next time.