The Hilary Silver Podcast - Awaken Your Feminine Energy for Beauty, Productivity, and Love

Episode Date: November 29, 2024

Episode 32: Awaken Your Feminine Energy for Beauty, Productivity, and Love   Ladies, let’s get real: juggling work, family, and everything in between is no small feat. But does it have to come at the expense of your well-being (and let’s face it, your glow)? In this episode, Hilary gets candid about why living in constant overdrive isn’t the flex we think it is, and how reconnecting with your feminine energy could just be the ultimate life hack!    Episode Highlights: The secret to looking, feeling, and doing better isn’t another productivity hack. It’s all about embracing your feminine energy to create balance, joy, and a life you actually love. Why are women exhausted? Hilary talks about the hidden toll of always being in “go mode” and why it’s time to rethink how you show up in life. Masculine vs. Feminine Energy 101: push vs. flow, doing vs. being—Hilary breaks it all down and explains why both energies have their place. Hilary outlines six game-changing ways to reconnect with your feminine energy. She shares practical, relatable tips like slowing down, softening your approach, and learning to actually accept help (without the guilt trip). How does energy affect your relationships? When you lean into your feminine energy, the people around you step up in ways that’ll surprise you.   Episode Breakdown: [00:00] The Overwhelmed Modern Woman [00:33] Why “Doing It All” Isn’t Sustainable [01:55] How Feminine Energy Makes Life Easier [03:45] Understanding Masculine and Feminine Traits [05:20] The Emotional and Physical Costs of Burnout [06:00] Hilary’s Journey to Reclaiming Her Feminine Energy [07:15] Tip #1: Soften Your Approach to Life [09:10] Tip #2: Slow Down and Savor the Process [11:30] Tip #3: Get Real About Your Emotions [13:50] Tip #4: Be Present in Your Body [15:25] Tip #5: Build Others Up Without Tearing Yourself Down [17:05] Tip #6: Learn to Receive Without Feeling Weak [19:30] The Beautiful Balance of Masculine and Feminine Energy   Stop being the “do-it-all queen” and start thriving! Now, grab your favorite drink, hit play, and let Hilary show you how to make feminine energy your new superpower.   Want More? Get exclusive tools and resources from Hilary to help you lead, love, and live with confidence at hilarysilver.com/subscribe.

Do you ever feel like you're doing so much, juggling all the things for family and house, the car and the kids and yourself too? These days, women are really stretched thin. We are often the house manager, the primary parent, and increasingly, we are also the breadwinners, holding it all together. We are the glue in our families and in our communities, being all things to everyone. And this can take a toll on our physical health, our emotional well-being, burning out our adrenals. It causes exhaustion and creates

resentment. And the truth is, it also takes a toll on our appearance. It ages us. And guess what? All this do-do-doing is a highly masculine energetic state. So one of my best kept secrets to radiant, youthful beauty is not a skincare routine or a magic serum. It's in summoning my feminine energy. I've discovered that when I live my life and lead with my feminine energy, whether it's in my business, my personal relationships, or even in my daily life, I get more done without doing it all myself. And I'm able to be strong and powerful and fully feminine at the same time. I can be alpha and feminine at the same time, not giving up my productivity or my edge, but without burning out. This helps keep me looking and feeling my best.

So today I'm explaining how this issue affects us women and our romantic relationships too, and I'm sharing with you six ways that I've really learned to reconnect with my feminine energy, not just to look and feel better, but I actually achieve more. And stick around till the very end because I'm sharing one game-changing truth about masculine and feminine energy dynamics that can transform all of your relationships. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today. If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me if you'd take a minute to just click that five-star rating on your podcast app, leave a review, and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this

podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too. So I'm going to start with a quick and simple explanation of the traits of each energy, just so we have a mutual understanding for our conversation. Typical masculine traits are push-oriented and fall into the realm of doing. So competing, producing, driving, asserting, proving, risk-taking, and being fast-paced. It's being goal-oriented and rational and determined and disciplined. Typical feminine traits are receive-oriented and fall into the realm of being, collaborating, cooperating, nourishing, creating, consensus-building, emotional intelligence, sensuality as in of the senses, enhancing the self-worth of others, and a relaxed pace. It's being pleasure-oriented, intuitive, empathic, compassionate, vulnerable, and inclusive. You can see how the masculine traits may be perceived as

more valuable or necessary for getting shit done. While the feminine can be overlooked in that regard, it may seem passive, but don't be fooled. And I'm going to talk about this at the very end. But the truth is the most effective, dynamic, and revered women and men among us are fully integrated humans embodying both and expressing both the masculine and the feminine that is inside of all of us. The more women exist in this masculine dominant mode, the more it takes a toll on our wellbeing, our quality of life, and it impacts the dynamics and the satisfaction in our romantic relationships and other relationships in our lives too. We end up alienating ourselves and falling into overwhelm or burnout, resentment, and exhaustion. And this masculine energy makes

it very difficult to receive the very love, attention, help, support, and nurturing that we deeply desire and we crave. And the worst part is we lose touch with a very important part of ourselves and our identity, a part of our being. This part of ourselves is beautiful and radiant. And when women are nurtured and nourished and fortified and cared for, not only are we better, the world is a much better place. And ironically, we end up getting even more done and accomplished without having to do it all ourselves, believe it or not. And that's what I'm going to share with you at the very end.

It all starts with us learning how to do this for ourselves so that we can consciously shift into and out of each mode at will. And that will allow our friends and our family and our romantic partners the space they need to show up for us as we do for them, which is why the feminine energy becomes a regenerative source. It's a life-giving source. In the last couple of years, I've really focused on reclaiming and reconnecting with my feminine energy because I felt out of balance and out of whack and burned out completely. And so these are just some of the things that I think about and do on a daily basis to stay connected to and inside of and in the realm of my feminine energy. If you're feeling a bit

unbalanced and out of flow, just pick one or two of these to start focusing on. It's not about adding yet another thing to your to-do list. It's about actually downshifting so you can do less and enjoy more. So the first thing is my favorite, and that is to soften. It's a cue word for me, and it reminds me to get into the state of being that for me is more relaxed, trusting, believing, allowing, opening, and receiving. Can you feel that? It feels nice, doesn't it? So I have a mental and emotional and a physical response to this word. Just saying it can immediately shift me there.

This is as opposed to resisting, defending, proving, pushing, guarding, which is like a super stiff, rigid, mental, and emotional state of being. So soften yourself. You don't need all of that external push because your masculine energy is really there for you if you ever really need it in a flash. You don't need to lead with it. You can move through the world with this softness as your primary state and understand it doesn't make you weak or defenseless. You're not risking anything. You're not putting yourself in danger in any way. Softening simply allows you to be in your feminine, which is being more open to experiencing all the infinite possibilities available to you. So say this word to yourself and see how your body responds. See how your shoulders drop and you just release the need

to control and be on guard. See how you can immediately feel more feminine within yourself. You'll notice how you walk and move differently too. Soften often. So next, I have intentionally slowed down. I've always been a fast mover. I walk fast, think fast, talk fast, make decisions fast, and I admit I drive fast. I even used to eat fast and it feels really good to only walk fast when I need to or when I'm exercising. And I still have a lot of things to accomplish each day, but rushing around in a mad frenzy to get as much done as possible is a very masculine vibe. So rather than rushing around from thing to thing, I'm intentionally giving myself grace and space, allowing more time to get things done.

I'm still an action taker and highly productive, but the pressure is off. I don't have to be uber productive to feel good about myself. And how I do things is more important than just doing it. This is the shift away from the doing and more into the being. I'm focusing on allowing myself to enjoy the process rather than focusing on just achieving the goal. I've always been pretty goal-oriented, only allowing myself to be happy or joyful or excited or feeling fortified or feeling fulfilled when I cross that finish line and achieve the goal and cross off my things on my to-do list rather than being

process-oriented, which is more feminine. So now I'm just really focusing on the process. Slowing down gives me time to notice, observe, and witness the small moments along the way to the goal. Those are the moments that I might have missed when I'm hyper-focused on just getting things done. And this allows me to have way more pleasure in my life. So an example is I leave my phone at home when I'm walking my dog and I enjoy her and the scenery rather than just texting and messaging and working while I'm walking. I often pause my workout just to notice and appreciate the gorgeous sunrise coming through the glass wall of windows at my gym. I've started taking the time to chat with the early morning regulars at the gym who feel like friends and family in a way

because we see each other almost every day rather than just being all business and getting my workout in and leaving. I've allowed more time for that to happen if I want it to. Taking the time for this connection has added so much joy to my life. Slowing down has allowed me to connect more deeply with myself and with others. Everyone has shopping on their brains, myself included. So my team and I decided to put together a Black Friday holiday gift guide inspired by my YouTube listeners who are always asking me about my earrings or my glasses. I put all of my current favorite everyday luxuries, as I call them, into this gift guide so you can

put them on your list for you, of course. Well, also for your besties or your loved ones too. It's free. So grab your copy by signing up for my newly launched newsletter called Self-Centered at hillarysilver.com forward slash gift. Number three, I'm being more emotionally available. So here's the thing. Women often talk about men being emotionally unavailable as if it's a trait or a flaw that only men are capable of, but women are also emotionally unavailable. In fact, we attract who we are. Our relationships are a mirror, not just in our romantic lives, but in general. So being more attuned to myself means I'm taking time to acknowledge my emotional self, my emotional world. I'm feeling all of my feelings and I'm processing them and expressing them too, rather than stuffing them

down, being too busy to feel them, turning away from them, denying them, or hiding away from them. Being deeply connected to my emotional self and not being ashamed or embarrassed to share that part of me is authentic and genuine and honest. And the byproduct of this has actually led to eating less because I'm not emotionally eating as much. This in itself feels more feminine too, eating slowly and stopping when I've had enough rather than overeating or mindlessly eating on autopilot. So just being more in tune with myself all the time, but even when I'm eating because I've been more emotionally available to myself. When I show up in this emotionally available way, it invites that from others. And that kind of connection is truly beautiful. And it's like, to me, the purpose of life.

Number four, I have focused on being more in my body too. So not just connected to my emotions, but in my body. So this word embodied is really a lovely word. Embodied humans have almost a supernatural presence. I'm aware of my physical self in a good way. So moving with more grace and intention, almost like a dance, fluidly. And so the difference would be watching a speedwalker or watching a ballerina sauntering out onto the stage. Everyday moments, just being more in my body feels really good. So I've added more time in the morning to stretch before I work out. And so when I'm stretching, I'm in my body. When I'm working out, when I'm just moving around in my house, getting in and out of

my car, cooking in the kitchen, or walking next to my husband. I can't tell you how many times in the past I've bumped into my countertop over the years, clipping the corner of the countertop with my hip and giving myself a bruise because I was rushing around and being careless and not being in my body and moving with intention. So now I'm noticing and paying attention to how I move and walk and carry myself all the time. It's like a consciousness of self that I never had before. I've intentionally considered how I want to feel in my body, which is feminine and sensual and

strong all at the same time, then moving with those words in my mind so it becomes an external expression of myself. It emanates this presence. So what do I look like from the perspective of an observer? What am I expressing? Am I rushing around unaware of my physicality or am I moving with the grace and femininity I have inside of me? It feels so much better to cultivate this physical sense of self rather than being disconnected from my body throughout the day. Number five, enhancing the self-worth of others is like a superhero superpower. And we all have the ability to do this,

but it's considered a feminine energy trait. And I do this for a living, so my feminine energy is present within me when I'm working almost all day long. And my leadership style is definitely feminine. I'm collaborative with my team. I elevate my team. I express gratitude for them.

I encourage them to grow and to contribute. But in the rest of my life and in the past, I might have just put my head down and avoided connecting with other people. I'm just too busy or didn't have time for it or just didn't want to deal with it. But now I'm consciously more giving of myself when I'm out in the world. And one way to do this is by acknowledging people, because we all want to be acknowledged and seen. So whether it's just eye contact, smiling at someone as you walk by, giving authentic compliments, being open to a brief exchange of some kind, taking the time for that and acknowledging

people. In those moments, even just for a second, it's a super simple but effective and impactful way to be in your feminine energy. When we take the time to acknowledge someone, it does something in the universe, right? I see you. It's what the word namaste comes from. I see you, right? I see you and I acknowledge you and I honor you. That's really a very feminine trait. And number six, you're going to love this one. Number six is I've begun to live more in my feminine energy by learning to receive. Receiving help, attention, acknowledgement, recognition, compliments without feeling the need to reciprocate. This is an entirely feminine trait that so many women have a very difficult time embracing. We want to do it ourselves to

prove we can, or we've just become accustomed to doing it ourselves because we've been let down in the past or abandoned by our parents or our partners. So we just suck it up and get it all done. But then we have a hard time receiving from others when they want to give to us. We make it really hard for them to do that. We make it so that there's no room for others to contribute and give back to us, even though that really is what we want more than anything. This is being invulnerable, which is the opposite of feminine. So sometimes I ask for help, like in a store when I can't reach something because I am only 5'1". Yes, I have been seen climbing the shelves to reach something on the top or

dragging the ladder down the aisle to get something. But imagine watching somebody do that or imagine watching somebody receive the help of a stranger, reaching this for them. This is two very different energies. Sometimes I don't even ask. It is simply receiving help or kindness from somebody without even having to ask for it. And that just tells me I am more in my feminine energy without even trying to be. It really is a gift when someone extends themselves without being asked. That means that you are being seen and witnessed. I feel seen and witnessed. Even just having someone open a door for us, right? I can tell you when a man opens the door for me, it feels lovely. Actually, it doesn't even have to be a man. When anyone opens the door for me, it feels lovely to receive that. Even after 24 years together with my husband, when we're on a date, he still gets the chair for me and I love it.

He still tries to remember to open the door for me in the car when we're heading home. Here's what I mentally decided. I made an agreement with myself. I don't have to prove anything to anyone. I know, and so does anyone else who is looking, that I'm highly capable. So I could stop trying to prove that I can do it all and that I don't need anyone. The thing about uber independence and being super self-sufficient is that it's a wall. It's preventing you from receiving that which you actually desire because it feels vulnerable to do so. But being vulnerable is a superpower for the men and the women who are willing to lead in this way. And it is a feminine energy trait. Allowing others to do for us is a gift. Always being the giver,

the problem solver, the helper, the fixer is a very masculine trait and role. It's control and ultimately self-protection. So yes, I intentionally walk slower towards a door so my husband or someone else can open it for me. I do ask people to reach things for me in the store and at the gym, I'll ask somebody who's stronger than me to help put a weight back up on a rack if it's too high. True feminine energy means leaning back and receiving and letting others show up for us. And so here's the thing. When we are fully in one energy state, it calls forth the complementary energy in others. So when women are in full masculine energy mode, pushing and driving and doing, there is no room for anyone else to be in the masculine. It pulls the feminine forward

in them like a magnet. So when we are fully tapped out from this masculine energy overload, rather than continuing to push and push and push, which will burn us out and age us, if we can consciously put ourselves into feminine mode, the masculine rises within those around us, easing the burden. So whether it's your lover, your kids, your team, strangers that you encounter in your day-to-day life, I feel it immediately when my husband or some man that I come in contact with my life shows me strong masculine leadership. I immediately feel my feminine rising. I do relax and I allow and I receive. And that is so, so beautiful. And I can arouse the masculine in them by first intentionally being in my feminine. So ladies, we don't have to do it all in order for it to all get done.

Leaning back and letting go, relying on our feminine traits of elevating and raising others up, allowing them to contribute and create means we get more done without having to do it all ourselves. And it's fun being in the feminine. There is so much more pleasure inside of us than we realize and more than we know we are capable of. So try it, try these, pick one or two, and let me know how you feel. Thanks for listening, and I'll see you next time.