The Hilary Silver Podcast - If the World Feels Like Too Much Right Now, Listen to This

Episode Date: May 21, 2025

The world feels like a mess—politics, the economy, your dog's surprise barf during Zoom meetings. And while you can’t control any of it, you can control you. In this powerful episode, Hilary breaks down the five mindset shifts that keep you grounded, centered, and sane, no matter how wild life gets. This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about taking radical responsibility for your thoughts, choices, and energy so you can stop spinning out and start leading your life with confidence and clarity.   Episode Highlights: Why you're both the problem and the solution (yes, really) How to stop being the last person you consider in your own damn life The truth about identity (spoiler: it’s not what your high school yearbook said) Why self-leadership isn’t selfish, it’s the whole point How to create unshakable inner peace, no matter what the headlines scream   Episode Breakdown: [00:00] Why the World Feels Unstable Right Now   [01:14] Meet Hilary Silver    [03:21] Truth #1: You’re the Problem *and* the Solution   [06:00] Truth #2: Yes, the World *Does* Revolve Around You   [07:14] Truth #3: Prioritize Yourself, Always   [09:00] Truth #4: Identity Is a Daily Choice   [11:19] Truth #5: The Outcome You Seek Is Internal   [14:08] The Paradox of Letting Go [15:01] Be the Constant in an Uncertain World   If you’ve ever said, “I just need things to settle down so I can breathe,” this episode is your wake-up call. You’re the calm. You’re the guarantee. You’re the damn center of your own universe. 💥 Ready to become unshakable? Watch Hilary’s free training, This Changes Everything: https://hilarysilver.com/subscribe/ 🤑 To take advantage of Hilary's exclusive 40% savings on sheets, towels, pajamas, and more, visit www.cozyearth.com and use the Promo Code:  HILARY 👯‍♀️ Share this episode with the woman in your life who needs a little more peace and a lot more power.

The world feels like it's on fire right now, doesn't it? I mean, between the stock market ups and downs and the tear of whiplash creating uncertainty for businesses, the political climate impacting the future that we're mostly usually able to rely on, on top of all the regular daily life issues that we have to deal with, it can just feel like a lot. All of the unknowns can cause even more uncertainty than we're used to dealing with. And uncertainty creates anxiety. People are feeling powerless, are preoccupied with worry, and are feeling like we really have very little control to do anything about it.

It's destabilizing. If you're not feeling it personally, I'm willing to bet you know someone who is. And if you're waiting for things to calm down so that you can feel okay, you will be waiting a very, very long time. So today, I'm gonna help with this, to stop the spinning out, to stop the worrying, to stop feeling like life is happening to you.

I'm gonna be sharing five truths that will help you stay sane even when things feel fucking crazy in the world. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today. If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me. If you'd take a minute to just click that five star rating on your podcast app, leave a review and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too. I know you already know this

intellectually, but I want to say it just to make sure you really know it like know it in your body and in your soul, okay? There is a lot in life we cannot control. All the things out there, the externals as I call it, the things outside of yourself, even in your inner circle of your personal life, you can't control your kids, your partner, even your well-trained dog can barf on your carpet when you're in the middle of a Zoom meeting, right? So the more certainty and predictability that you need trained dog can barf on your carpet when you're in the middle of a Zoom meeting, right?

So the more certainty and predictability that you need in order to feel calm and relaxed or to have peace of mind, the more you will suffer and struggle in life. But the goal isn't to calm the chaos out there, to try to manage it and become a master at solving any potential problem that can come your way. You simply cannot be an expert at all things and you have no control over that. The goal is to become the calm in here inside yourself to develop a relationship with yourself where no matter what is happening out there you are the calm in the storm and that is to to be fully, deeply rooted in yourself, to be self-centered. Because you are the only thing that is certain. You. So there are five beliefs that when you

accept them as true and begin operating with this as your belief system, will make you self-centered. Rock solid, even in the most uncertain times. These aren't tips or tools for managing stress. It's about a new way of being, a new way of moving in the world, a new way of relating to yourself. So the first is to believe that in your life, you are always the problem and the solution. Most people stay stuck because they're waiting for someone else or something else to change. The focus is on what they are doing, how they are being, a spouse, an ex, a colleague,

all the politicians, right? So it's easy to get caught up in the blame game, looking at how they did you wrong or how they faulted you in some way. And when we do that, we feel righteous, right? It makes us feel validated that somehow it feels going to make us feel better to blame how these other things out there for how we're feeling. But it actually doesn't feel that much better, does it?

So while all those wrongdoings may be very real and legit, focusing on that means you can't move on from the past or from a situation that has a hold over you because you can't fix a problem that is beyond your reach and you can't control other people. The only thing in your life that you fully have control over is you, your thoughts, your choices, your actions. So the first

belief here, this principle that I want you to adopt and to just accept as true in your life is that no matter what is going on in your life, you are always the problem. Which means then that you are always the solution. And I know you're thinking, how is it my problem that the economy is tanking or that my ex is a narcissistic butthole? Okay, that's not what I'm saying. If you are struggling with all these external things, then what is it that you are doing

that is causing you the distress? Are you ruminating? Are you overthinking? Are you trying ruminating? Are you overthinking? Are you trying to fix everything? Are you tolerating? Are you boundaryless? If you simply accept this as true, you instantly give yourself the power

to adjust what you are thinking or doing that is causing your distress. It's not harsh and it's not about blaming yourself or victim blaming yourself in any way. It's not harsh and it's not about blaming yourself or victim blaming yourself in any way. It's about radical ownership. And it's actually the most liberating thing I can tell you. When you recognize that you are always the common denominator in your life, you step into your power and you realize you never have to wait for someone or something to change for you to have your peace of mind or your happiness

or whatever it is that you're stuck in. Okay, you can give that to yourself anytime, any place. My free video training will give you the jumpstart that you need to begin operating like this. I'll put the link in the show notes and in the description down below if you want to check it out. The second belief that I want you to just accept is that the world does revolve around you. I know, I know, we were taught that's selfish, that other people matter more and what they think about you is important. Bend yourself into a pretzel to accommodate others.

But the reality is this, your relationships, your health, your success, everything in your life, all of it orbits around you. You are the sun in your own universe. You are the most important person in your life. Yes, you. I bet you spent a very long time not knowing that and not acting like it either.

I bet you've not treated yourself like the VIP that you are in your own life. But how you feel every day and how you show up—your energy, your beliefs, your presence—touches every single area of your life. So the more solid, clear, and centered you are, the better everything else in your life actually becomes. So yes, know that when you are well cared for, everything else in your life benefits. The third belief of self-centered living is this. In your life, you come first and you go first. As a society, we celebrate those who are selfless, who give the

shirt off their back, who always do things for others but never ask for anything in return. Sound familiar? We've all heard that before. When everyone else comes first and we come last, that somehow makes us a good friend, a good mom, a good citizen. We are altruistic and noble and benevolent. It's something to strive for, and if we dare consider ourselves, we are selfish. But this selflessness as a virtue is toxic and it creates a dysfunctional relationship with yourself and then you create dysfunctional relationships with others in your life. This socialization and messaging is what conditions women to become the load-bearing beasts of burden in our relationships. Do all things for everyone and put ourselves last until we are running on fumes, exhausted, and totally

resentful. So it not only causes mental distress and physical health issues like autoimmune, it poisons relationships. So this principle turns that whole paradigm upside down. And I want you to know this, to accept this as true. In your life, you come first. Okay? This ensures that your needs are met and that you matter, that you value your peace and your freedom and your self. You are not an afterthought in your life. You don't come last by you in your own life. And in your life, you go first is about self-leadership. If you want love, partnership, success, equality, peace, you have to model it first. You have to show up for yourself first.

You have to teach the people in your life what to expect from you and how to treat you by how well you treat yourself. You set the tone. You lead the way. So go ahead and unapologetically make yourself a priority and consider your needs first. You will begin to feel the effects of it immediately. Hi, it's Hillary. You already know I'm all about living self-centered, which means creating a life that puts you first. For me, that includes accessible luxuries that elevate everyday routines, like slipping into cozy earth sheets every night. They're made from viscose from bamboo, which makes them insanely silky and soft and breathable and cooling.

They actually regulate your body temperature while you sleep so no more waking up hot and throwing the covers off. This is your reminder that you do not need an excuse to treat yourself well. So use code Hillary at CozyEarth.com and get 40% off. Make your bed a sanctuary because you deserve nothing less. Which leads me to the fourth belief. Your identity is a choice.

So your identity is not your FICO score or your social security number, and it's not a label that you've attached yourself to like football mom or entrepreneur. Your identity is your internal self-concept. It's what you believe about yourself and what's possible for you. It's who you think you are

and how you talk to yourself all day, every day. You are who you think you are. And when you aren't consciously choosing your identity, deciding for yourself who you are, you remain who you were told to be, who you learned that you are in this world by your parents and the environment that you grew up in, educators and society and culture in general. All the messages, experiences, and traumas, even the micro traumas, informed you and taught

you who you are, what it means to be you and how to be you and what to be in this world. But that isn't who you really are. All of that was decided for you long before you had any say so. We have to actively choose our identity to discover who you are and define for yourself who you are, to be self-defining, self-determining, and

differentiated so that you can choose your own path. Our beliefs are not fact. We can choose what we want to believe. And we can change the way that we think about ourselves. We can learn to think new things. And we must. Or you risk not being your true true authentic self in the world and living an intentional life. And this leads me to my favorite belief and principle for self-centered

living, which is the outcome is internal. What if you knew that no matter what happens out there in the world or out there in the future, you will always be okay no matter what. And not just okay, what if you knew that you could win no matter what? That you will always come out on top, that you will always benefit from every situation, and that everything always works out in your favor. How would knowing that change your life? Being self-centered, and this principle specifically, provides you that guarantee. In an uncertain world, you give yourself certainty always.

In a life where nothing is guaranteed, you provide yourself that guarantee. And in doing that, you claim sovereignty, personal power, autonomy. You give yourself the certainty and comfort and closure you seek, always. Your calm, your peace of mind and wellbeing doesn't depend on anything external

because the outcome you actually seek is internal. So what are we focusing on instead? You, of course. If your focus is not on what happens out there, but rather on what happens in here inside of you, then you know that the win is inevitable because you have 100% control of that every time. If you know that you will be able to handle any challenging situation that comes up in this life, even if it's uncomfortable for a while,

even in the worst of cases, it may be devastating for a while. If you know that eventually you will be okay, that you can trust yourself to get through it, manage it, deal with it, then you have certainty you don't need things to always work out as planned. You want them to, but you don't need things to always work out as planned. You want them to,

but you don't need them to. And this changes everything. When you have such a deep faith in your own resourcefulness, your own strength, and your own tenacity, and when you are able to weather any storm, ask for help, when you know that you have what it takes, whatever it takes, you are the calm in the eye of the storm. And moreover, when you have a mindset and an orientation in this world that even when the outcome doesn't go your way, there's still always something to be gained. That there's a lesson, a blessing, or an insight in nearly every experience, if you're willing to see it, that you will have learned something, grown in some way that you may not have even known that you needed to grow, that there

is something better for you just around the corner, even if you can't see it yet, that it all works out for you even in the ways that you never could have imagined possible, then you will always feel certainty. This is simply a belief that you can choose for yourself. And when you do, you become impervious to the rollercoaster of the shit storm happening all around you with people or situations or anywhere else in your life. And here's the ultimate paradox.

It's kind of funny how this works, but when you let go of the external outcome and simply just focus on you being your best self, your self-centered self, when you operate this way in life, you often end up getting even more than you originally desired, more than you could have ever imagined possible. Because your energy is and vibe is just so high that you become an energetic match for all the good things that you desire. You're a magnet for what you want.

So when you choose to believe these five self-centered principles, you embody them and you live by them, and you stop being at the mercy of life's chaos, and you stop riding that roller coaster of circumstances, you become the one thing in your life that is constant and solid and unshakable. You are the guarantee and the certainty in an uncertain world. Thanks for being here. I hope this conversation helps keep you sane

and helps you have some sort of peace of mind in the crazy chaos of everyday life, but especially right now, one things are especially crazy. If you enjoyed, please share with somebody you know needs to hear it, and I'll see you next time.