The Hilary Silver Podcast - Screw Invisible Woman Syndrome. How To Turn Heads Over 50

Episode Date: November 8, 2024

Episode 29: Don’t Be Invisible Over 50   Ladies, forget “fading” with age. Hilary Silver is here to bust that myth wide open and show you how aging can crank up your confidence and magnetism. In this episode, she shuts down “Invisible Woman Syndrome”—a tired idea that women lose their spark over time. At 52, Hilary is thriving! She’s strutting into every room with a presence that demands attention, not for validation, but because she knows exactly who she is.   Episode Highlights: Confidence isn’t about them. It’s all about you! Forget the validation and focus on what you bring to the table. It’s confidence that sticks. Beauty beyond skin deep, always. True allure? It’s all about knowing your worth from the inside out and embracing every quirk and flaw unapologetically. Forget the outdated belief that life’s peak is behind you. Hilary’s here to tell you that 50+ is when the fun actually begins—wisdom, realness, and all! Age isn’t a limit; it’s leverage! Taking care of yourself is self-respect. Hilary shares why treating yourself right isn’t optional if you want to radiate confidence. Prioritize self-care because it’s a reflection of how much you value yourself. To truly turn heads, you have to be fully there. Hilary breaks down how presence is more than just posture—it’s the energy you bring and the intention behind it.   Episode Breakdown: [00:00] Busting the "Invisible Woman" Myth [01:25] Redefining Confidence and Aging [02:28] Turning Heads Starts with Self-Perception [04:14] Owning Your Worth [05:50] Authenticity is Your Best Accessory [06:43] Why Self-Care is Self-Respect [08:30] Making Your Presence Known [10:07] Final Thoughts on Confidence at Every Age   Start living unapologetically to turn heads wherever you go!   Catch Hilary’s free, paradigm-flipping resources for more insights into confidence that lasts: https://hilarysilver.com/guides/ 

Invisible woman syndrome. Have you heard of it? It's an actual phenomena, but only because women have bought into the idea that we become invisible as we age, that we lose our allure, our feminine mystique. We aren't as beautiful anymore, that we lose our appeal, and therefore we're overlooked. We don't matter. We're insignificant out in the public, out in the world. And I'm just here to tell you that is total bullshit. I am 52 and I am more confident, more powerful, more magnetic and sexier than I've ever been my entire life. So today I'm going to share with you my truths, what I hold to be true that has me turning heads when I walk into any room and how you can do it too. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast. Thanks for tuning into the conversation today. If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me

if you'd take a minute to just click that five-star rating on your podcast app, leave a review, and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too. Now that I'm in my 50s, I feel like I'm standing on the top of a hill above tree line where the clouds have parted and I can finally see clearly. And what I know to be true is this, women do not have to feel or become invisible as we age. That old adage about being over the hill is so 1950s.

We are not in our prime in our 20s and 30s. In fact, we're only just babies in those decades of life. We're trying to figure it all out and we're feeling pressure and working so hard to do it all and do it well. But at 52, for me, all of that is gone. It's fallen away like armor that I no longer need. I am not in survival mode. And what's really left is the real raw naked me that was underneath, like leaving my turtle shell behind. I no longer need to hide or be anything other than who I am. And again, I've honestly never

felt more powerful, sexier, or more confident. And at 50, I really believe we are only just getting started. So here are my truths. Again, what I hold to be true that has me turning heads when I walk into any room. I want to make it very clear though, this is not about turning heads because we need the attention, we need the validation. We're talking about not losing our impact, our power, our significance, our beauty, our meaning as we age. This is about not being invisible as we age, but maintaining the ability to have an impact. Okay, so first, turning heads is not about what other people think of you. It's about what you think of you. When you walk into any room, if you're worried

about or wondering about what everyone is thinking, that is a problem. You can't control what other people think and you'll never know anyway. So just focus on what you think. What you think is all that matters because people take their cues from you. If you feel insecure or self-conscious or nervous or anxious, they will feel that oozing from you. If you feel invisible, like no one will notice you, they won't. But if you walk in there like you own the room, like I'm here now, the party can get started, that kind of mindset, that is what they will experience coming off of you. Because you're not concerned with what other people are thinking, you can just know that you're going to turn heads, but then act like no one's looking at you. You're just free to sing or strut or dance or skip,

even if it's just in your own mind. You can just go about your business, mind your own business, and do whatever you're meant to do in that room unconcerned with anyone else but yourself, but know that you are noticed. If you do have a fleeting thought about what they are thinking, just assume that they are thinking, wow, look at her. You are turning heads in the best possible way. Next, one of the best parts of getting older, for me personally at least, is that I am more comfortable with myself than I've ever been. At 52, I know who I am and I fully accept myself, the flaws, the quirks, and all. I know my worth and my value, which comes from within. It's inside

of me, not from external sources. It's not coming from my worth and my value, which comes from within. It's inside of me, not from external sources. It's not coming from my achievements or my accomplishments or what I can do for people. And I have an unconditional love for myself, meaning I don't withdraw my own positive regard for myself, even when I mess up or I've not been my best self. I don't face my own recrimination and I've replaced any lingering self-loathing with just pure self-loving. So I'm kinder and gentler with myself than ever before, more forgiving, have more self-compassion, and there is peace and calm to this energy rather than a needy energy that comes from wanting to be liked or accepted or to fit in or to get approval or to get validation from external sources. This is a leaning back sensation and this energy is alluring. You'll

never turn heads if deep down you don't believe you are worthy of being seen, admired, and desired. I've gotten to the place where I know I am worthy of being seen and admired, not just for what I've done in my life, but simply for who I am. So when I walk into a room, I'm free to just let the connection happen, and it does. This leads me to the next one, which is that people are drawn to realness, and older women have the advantage here that younger women do not. Our hard earned wisdom and experience means that we can give ourselves and others too a bit more grace. So it's easier than ever before. At this age, should just drop all the self-protection, the armor, the walls, the barriers, and let it all

hang out. We have nothing to prove and nothing to hide. There is no need to be anyone other than who I am and offering my complete authenticity and transparency is stunning. It's actually disarming and very magnetic and attractive. It's a gift that we offer to the world and to those around us. The gift of sharing who we are, sharing ourselves completely, transparently, without holding back. It's vulnerable and powerful and sexy and radiant, and it's just one of our superpowers as women if we allow it and if we cultivate it. The energy around us is a direct reflection of what is going on inside of us. Let's talk about the external for just a minute. People say looks don't matter, but I absolutely think it does. If you are not

confident in how you look, you will walk through the world, move through the world, self-conscious, insecure, and just uncomfortable with yourself. And we don't want your physical being to be a barrier for connection. And so it really is up to all of us to make ourselves a priority and treat our bodies like they matter because it does. And how we care for ourselves physically is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves. So are you taking care of yourself physically? Do you exercise? Do you eat healthy?

Do you wear clothes that make you feel fabulous and that you look forward to putting on? Is your style an expression of you? How we treat ourselves, consider ourselves, prioritize ourselves, and take care of ourselves, again, says a lot about how we feel about ourselves on the inside. I prioritize myself and I make time for myself. And as you've heard me say before, I work out every day. I move my body every day and make time for that every day because I want to care for my body. I also don't skimp on myself. I buy nice things for myself. And this isn't about a hefty price tag. It's really about what you think is nice and knowing that you deserve this thing, not putting your wants last on the list.

So do you look the part on the outside? Because if you don't feel comfortable or confident in your appearance, you will not walk into a room wanting the attention. You will want to be invisible. Okay? So yes, external does matter. Both are important and one without the other just isn't nearly as impactful. Finally, your presence matters. You can be in a room, but not fully present. Now, this is more than just body language, meaning it's not just how you carry yourself. It's the intention that you carry within yourself. I walk into the room fully present and in the moment, intentional about how I'm moving and the impact that I want to make in this room. So if you're stressed out about your tight deadlines, worried about your kids, or just

thinking about the dinner you had with friends last night, you're not here right now. You're not. You're somewhere else in your head, which then means that you walk in the room without presence. You might have your shoulders slouched or your eyes downcast. No one's going to notice you. And then you're not able to intentionally have the presence and the impact that you want to have. So before you walk in that room, get yourself to the highest vibrational state that you can and know that your presence in that room matters. It is important and you will add value to all who are there.

Walk in that room, in your body, in the moment with your shoulders back and your head high, looking at people in the eye and be quick to smile. Acknowledge people. Don't look down. Don't look away. And don't look past them. You are powerful and have the ability to impact how people feel if only for a second. That is powerful.

And that is what draws people to you. That is what turns heads. Intend to shine bright and spread your positivity. This is about owning your presence and moving through life with intention. Every step I take is filled with the energy of, I'm here. The party can start. Like I said, I belong here. And it's a little delusional, but the mindset is kind of like you're blessing them with your presence. Like a queen anointing a knight, you have the power bestowed within you to spread positivity to all. I know it might sound silly, but it really

is a powerful, energetic presence. Turning heads when you walk into a room isn't about needing attention, needing validation, and it's not about impressing others. It's about owning your space, loving who you are, embodying confidence. It's a decision to stop playing small and to embrace your power no matter your age and knowing, in fact, as you age, it just gets better. Thanks for tuning in. And remember, the link to the daily journal and the free video training is in the comments pinned to the top, and it's also in the show notes. I'll see you next time.