The Hilary Silver Podcast - Why NOW Is Always the Perfect Time

Episode Date: December 13, 2024

How many times have you said, “I’ll start after the holidays,” or “I’ll get to it when things slow down?” Waiting for the “perfect time” is just a sneaky way of staying stuck… and Hilary is here to call you out on it!    In this episode, Hilary tackles the excuses we tell ourselves and shows us how to stop sitting on the sidelines of life. With her signature no-BS style, she’s serving up the truth about why now is always the right time to go after what you want, and how investing in yourself is the best gift you’ll ever give.   Episode Highlights: Why the “perfect time” is just a myth, and how it’s costing you more than you think.  How to ditch the half-hearted resolutions and actually get what you want.  Four simple (but powerful) questions to help you figure out what’s next for you. Why investing in yourself pays off now and for years to come.  Get inspired to invest in your growth and become the version of yourself who gets what they want.     Episode Breakdown: [00:00] Stop procrastinating. (Seriously!) [02:10] The cost of sitting on the sidelines and how to get in the game. [05:10] What’s really holding you back? (Hint: It’s not your schedule.) [07:05] Breaking the cycle of half-assed goals and wasted time. [09:00] Why investing in YOU is the smartest move you’ll ever make. [12:20] Big dreams? Let’s make them happen. [13:34] Becoming the person who gets things done.   Listen now and let Hilary push you off the bench and into the game. Your future self is waiting. Go get it.   P.S. If you’re ready to take yourself to the next level, don’t miss Hilary’s free video training, This Changes Everything, or The Daily Journal—a 90-day guided mindset reset with videos and visualizations. Grab them (and free resources!) at hilarysilver.com/guides

How many times have you told yourself, I'll start after the holidays, or I'll do it when work slows down, or I'll get to it when life isn't so crazy, or when the kids are grown? We push off what we really want, thinking we'll get to it eventually. But guess what? Eventually doesn't ever really happen unless we make it happen. So today I'm going to show you why we do this to ourselves, this putting off what we want, and why now is always the perfect time, even if you think it's not, how to get clear on what you really want and why investing in yourself, yes, even during the holidays, is the greatest gift you can give yourself. Hi, it's Hillary. Welcome to the Hillary Silver Podcast.

Thanks for tuning into the conversation today. If you haven't already, it would mean so much to me if you'd take a minute to just click that five-star rating on your podcast app, leave a review, and subscribe so you never miss one of my episodes. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please consider sharing it with a friend because if you like it, they will probably like it too. So while this happens all year long, it's especially timely right now as we're heading into the new year because it's the time when so many of us start thinking about what we want for ourselves in the coming year. We're filled with the potential of endless possibilities and have all the best intentions, but resolutions often fade by the end of January.

Everybody knows that. We either never really get started or we start, but then things quickly fizzle out with our half-assed attempts or misdirected effort. And when we don't see progress, we lose interest or momentum pretty quickly. And then we just give up on ourselves. We become a bystander or a spectator. This is what I call sitting on the sidelines of life, sitting on the bench. We literally bench ourselves from the game of life or love or success. To use this sports analogy, it's like we've got our uniform on, our helmet on, our cleats on, and there we sit ready, not ready. Standing up to jump in the game, but then sitting back down again. Standing up when we're excited and we want game, but then sitting back down again. Standing up

when we're excited and we want it, and then sitting back down again. We doubt ourselves. We worry about failing, fearing that it won't work out or it won't happen. Up, down, up, down. Meaning we think about what we want, have moments of inspiration and belief that it's possible, and then we give up and sit back down again. It's too hard. Never mind. It's too scary or time-consuming. We tell ourselves that someday I'll get to it. I'll wait for the right time or just after this next thing I have going on in my life that's keeping me busy. Just one more thing to finish first, and then I'll start. It's not the right time because I'm moving or changing jobs or my kids need me.

But while you're busy sitting on the bench, life is moving forward. Time is literally passing you by. And every day that we spend doubting ourselves, questioning ourselves, or putting ourselves last is a day we never get back. Think about that. People say that time is money. And as an entrepreneur, you may think that I agree with this, but the truth is you can always just make more money. You can never make more time. You never can get time back. Time is your most valuable resource. And every day that you delay, every day you spend not living the life that you want is a very expensive day, especially if the reason that you put it off is because you don't value yourself enough. You don't make time for yourself. You don't make yourself and what you want a priority.

And you tell yourself that it's not important enough, which actually is coming from a deeper belief that you're not important enough. It's costing you a lot to not have what you want. Any day that you spend in self-doubt, thinking negative thoughts about yourself, your life, and your future, or waiting for the right time is a major waste of a precious day. That is a very expensive day. So you know I love you, and that is why I'm always going to be honest and direct. The right time is just a BS excuse. It is. It's just a myth. This kind of thinking causes us to delay and it costs us a whole lot more than we realize. The very few but powerful shifts that I'm sharing today will change how you think and therefore how you operate when it comes to this. And you will get to reap the

rewards the rest of your life. I really believe, women especially, but when women who want something bad enough, always find a way, everyone else will just find an excuse. Think about it. When women want boobs, we will always find a way to get boobs, right? So let's start with this. Why do we delay going after what we want? It's because deep down we have some subconscious BS getting in the way. We end up being our own biggest obstacle to getting what we want. We are often the only thing standing between where we are now and what it is that we want. We're scared, scared of failing, scared of succeeding, scared of the work it might

take, or scared that we don't have what it takes and that we're not good enough to make it happen. We delay because we aren't really sure we want what we think that we want. So we have these half-assed attempts to get what we want and it turns into half-assed results, which then creates the evidence that we can't actually have what it is that we think that we want. It's kind of crazy how it works that way. This is when you get a punch card, but then never go do the activity or when you pay for a program, but you never do the work or attend the classes or the meetings, it's paying for a membership but never going, it's that kind of a thing. And that doesn't really motivate us because always, if we want the results, we do have to do the work.

If running a marathon were easy, everyone would do it. But then actually, no one would do it because it wouldn't be the triumph that it is. Doing the hard things in order to get the outcome we want is actually part of the fulfillment that we experience once we get it. We don't value what is easy or handed to us as much as the things that we have to earn and work hard to achieve. So we put it off because it just feels too much or too big, like the work involved is overwhelming, or we think it's going to be harder or more uncomfortable than it actually might be. This is often where

procrastination comes from. So we mentally just make it bigger than it is and we start dreading it and put it off. And then when this happens enough, we then start to see ourselves as someone who just doesn't get what we want. We get used to living in this deprivation, in a constant state of longing or always desiring something that just doesn't feel possible for us. It's just out of reach. We see ourselves as someone who just doesn't get what it is that we want in our life, this thing that we want. But this is because of our own lack of follow through.

We do it to ourselves. It's so self-defeating. So instead, we just sit on the bench telling ourselves that we'll get in the game later when the time is right. We opt out. We make excuses for why we can't get what we want and why we can't get started. This is classic ambivalence, which is self-sabotage and total avoidance. There's this idea that there's a perfect time for everything, a perfect time to start a business or to work on your fitness or to focus on your relationships. But the truth is there is no such thing. There's always going to

be something in the way. A busy season, the kids' schedules, the holidays, life doesn't stop and it's always busy for everyone. No one is ever not busy, right? There is never a good time to break up with somebody or have a baby or move or have a surgery. There's always something happening in our lives. So if we delay getting started for those reasons, nothing will ever happen, which then means what I love to say, now is always the perfect time.

Right now, while whatever it is that is going on in your life currently is happening, it is still the perfect time. So even during the holidays, when we're conditioned to think about everyone else, this is the time to start thinking about you. Yes, you. So one more important thing that I want to say, and then I'm going to just give you a few steps to get really clear on what it is that you really want. Investing in yourself is the best gift that you can give. It's not like consumer debt and things that just go out of style or break or end up in the landfill. When you invest in yourself

in acquiring a new skill, learning a new mindset, becoming more of you, so experiences that help you become your best self, you're expanding yourself and increasing your capacity. So sign up for a program, get a mentor, work on your health, because the returns aren't just immediate, they're exponential. It's like planting a tree the returns aren't just immediate. They're exponential. It's like planting a tree. You don't just get one piece of fruit. You get fruit season after season after season. So when you invest in yourself, it's a gift that keeps giving, because who you become

will help you then get the next thing that you want, and the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing after that. It's why the initial investment in you is exponential. You become the kind of person who can create and sustain any of the results that you want going into the future, whether that's a thriving business, a strong body, or a fulfilling relationship. This is something that will pay you back the rest of your life because once you become that new improved version of yourself, you get to keep being him or her forever. Growing my business required growing myself in ways that I didn't even know I needed to grow. And once I did that work, not only did my business completely

blow up, the other areas of my life got that much better. Just operating in the world with an expanded mindset has been the greatest gift of all for me. Who I had to become in order to create this multiple eight-figure company and run a highly functioning global team is a long way away from the Hillary that I was when I went to my cute little private practice office a few times a week, seeing one person at a time. The army says it the best, be all you can be. I love that slogan. I wish that it was mine. You have one life, one. What are you going to do with it? Sometimes the hardest part can actually just be not knowing

what you want. And my husband and I are working on this right now as we're starting to plan for what's next for us. Our kids are getting older. My oldest is going to go to college next year, and then we have a freshman in high school who will soon follow. We are literally thinking about where we want to be and how we want to live and what we want to do, and the possibilities are endless. It can be hard to narrow it down, or sometimes for some people, it's hard to imagine something that you've never even had, so it doesn't even occur to you that you can have it. So I'm going to give you a few questions to ask yourself

to help you get really clear about what it is that you want next. So number one, ask yourself, how do I want to feel? Start with your emotions. Do you want to feel confident, fulfilled, free, happy, calm, worthy, capable? So for example, if I want to feel relaxed in the next season of our life, we will plan one kind of life, maybe by the water with a slow paced, easy breezy lifestyle. But if we want excitement, we're going to plan international travel or live abroad, something else entirely. So make sense why you want to figure out how you want to feel. Next, ask yourself, when was the last time I felt that way? Think about what was happening or what you were doing when you last felt that feeling. What was it about that time that made

you feel this way? And what other kinds of things might be able to make you feel this? So if it's not living by the water that might make me feel relaxed, what could it be? Pinpoint the experiences, activities, or the environments that bring out those feelings in you. Next, ask yourself this. If I could remove all obstacles, would I still want this? Meaning if we could wave the magic wand and you could just poof, have this thing, whatever it is that you want, without all the effort and the logistics, what would it be? Dream big here. Take money, time, and effort off the table. If it were easy, would you still want this? Now here's the most critical question of all. Ask yourself, who do I need to become in order to make this happen. This is where the magic happens because the person who you are today has brought you to this point. But to get to your next level, you need to grow. You,

you need to grow you. You need to evolve. And that's where investing in yourself comes in. The universe doesn't give us what we want. It gives us who we are. And our external world is a mirror reflecting back to us the truth about who we are, where we are and our external world is a mirror reflecting back to us the truth about who we are, where we are in our growth. It reflects back to us our own issues and our own state of being. If you want the next thing, if you want more, then you have to go first. You have to become the version of you who is capable of receiving more. My clients often refer to themselves as the old me and the new me.

They say all the time, Hillary, this thing happened to me today, and the old me would have reacted like this, but the new me did this instead. That is priceless, and that is what I just love about the work that I get to do. The confidence that you build, the skills that you learn, the mindset shifts that you make don't just help you achieve this one goal. They help you live the biggest life possible. They help you with the next goal and then the next one. And when you do this work on you, the impact of that is far reaching. It ripples out into every area of your life. So remember the self-centered way puts us at the center of our universe. When you grow, you take this new you into your relationships,

your health, your finances, into everything. If you're listening to this episode on Spotify or iTunes, I'm sharing a visual on the screen right now that you might want to check out. So come on over to YouTube and have a look. And if any of you who are watching or listening want to grab this graphic, as a reminder, we have it available for free on my website at hillarysilver.com forward slash guides. Deciding that you are going to become the kind of person who doesn't just dream, but who does is an identity shift. And that's why investing in yourself is the best gift that you can give, not just for the holidays, but for always. And not just someday when work slows down or after the new year. Now, the new you, your future self,

is waiting for you on the other side. So thanks for listening. I will see you next time.