The Hoely Hour - 3 Inch Pecker, feat. Frank

Episode Date: September 5, 2025

Amelia interviews Frank this week and asks some questions that all women (just Amelia) are dying to know. We also discuss some penis facts that you’ll either regret not knowing before, or regret knowing now. Who’s to say! Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See https://pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

You look so good. Thank you. Thanks. okay so i was thinking about what to talk about today originally i wanted me and frank oh oh by the way frank's here hey i still haven't introduced you that's so funny we just started yapping man it's just another day stop it the dog's licking my foot and he it upsets him i'm just happy when she's doing whatever it takes for her to leave me alone yeah you know what i mean but frank is here the car goes wild we did it we did it um hosting with me a couple weeks ago

mr liz hosted with liz okay this is very distracting now that the dog is licking my foot i don't know we're probably not gonna get through this stop it dude what is on my foot that you're tasting stinky so anyway so mr liz and liz co-hosted a couple of weeks ago and originally i wanted to like explain different lore to each other yeah uh but then that just it's sunday that we're recording it's hot and we're both tired and the idea of explaining lore to each other just feels like homework right now i've got a lot of lore but i don't think your audience wants to hear half the bullshit i you'd be surprised yeah potentially the shit that you tell me about i would have never expected to find interesting before we dated i don't i don't

know if i think it's interesting because i love you that's absolutely what it is oh well everybody else loves you too babe well like the kendrick drake lore yeah i got you dialed in on that i know everything there is to know about you know and that that's actually a good one but like the 2010 Lakers maybe not as much yeah yeah yeah no absolutely oh but they're very important yeah I can't think of anything more important personally no it's actually a very very important anyways okay so instead of that yeah I was thinking when I listen to a podcast of somebody interviewing someone I don't want to hear about their personal relationship I think people know about our relationship yeah to the at this point yeah last week for those of you that maybe haven't

listened i reprised is that the word yeah sure uh the episode where i first talked about frank oh yeah and uh so i think you know that y'all know enough for now so i wanted to ask you questions that people might want to know from a man yeah well you're one of those i'm one of those took the words out of my mouth so are you ready yeah i wonder if i could put in some like game show music here like all right first question what's something you think most straight men don't admit but it's universally true um what is something that most straight men you know sometimes you gotta kiss your boys yeah not with any tongue or anything and not for longer than than the second okay but it's okay to do that yeah just give them a little they look good

sometimes you've seen me and my boys do it i have there's one friend in particular i obviously won't say his name well he kisses everyone yeah moving along what's what's a man code you secretly think is dumb i don't secretly think anything is dumb i'm a man of morals and principles you are pretty open about things that you think are stupid no um man the whole uh bros before hoes yeah like what are you talking about sometimes your bro is a fucking idiot totally when did that die down i feel like that was such a thing in college yeah because nobody had any like stability like emotional stability or like relationship stability in college but it's like if you still think like that like in your late 20s or your 30s like you're just a child yeah like get over it man go go go

make a meaningful go make something meaningful you know now i'm just preaching i don't want to preach you can preach this is church this is church hey welcome that's that's how this podcast started have you ever listened to the early episodes of this podcast i did when we started dating some of them you did yeah you like you still wanted to date me wow absolutely maybe you want to lock in harder oh shit and now we live to your lease damn potentially more um if you could swap brains with a woman for 24 hours what would you want to understand if i could swap brains with a woman for 24 hours your forearms look so good thank you thank you genetics you're so sexy it's all genetic no it's not all genetics you work hard um

i would want to at least live through one period okay just to see that's a good answer i'm sure it would suck yeah it does but like just to see like what the deal is right you got to deal with that until the rest of your life i guess i feel like that should be government mandated that men should have to experience one period yeah maybe um that sounds pandery but it's just like on you know it's like like there's differences in like what we experience um walking around in a busy part of town yeah and just like the eyes oh yeah right just just just to i mean i'd be like i'd have a weapon with me because i think you have to yeah for sure like a little taser pepper spray taser knife yeah but um you know i'm sure that would like dial into some like dial into my

empathy reserves a little deeper yeah you're pretty empathetic though yeah but still you know like yeah you know walk be in her shoes for a day i think that would be it yeah it's a good answer other than that i think we actually all have a lot more in common this beautiful i'm campaigning for office yeah i mean we're watching a lot of veep right now so he's on his he's on his politician game what's a piece of advice you'd give to women about how men actually think oh shit now i'm like the advocate for men i know and i know that you don't want to be that and the disclaimer is he's not speaking for all men this is just purely from frank's brain no and i'm not else i'm also not speaking to like the shitty win yeah right i think

obviously in like today's world right i mean you know it's patriarchal page whatever the fucking word is society english is my second language um that's like that's definitely like like let's like establish that first before i get into this i think there are given that there are a lot of pressure and demons that men today are fighting that may not be like acknowledged in the mainstream because the people that bring them up are the or don't not the people being the people that complain on behalf of men are the shittiest people online right and i think that fucks it up for like the other half of the world that has their own like societal pressures and whatnot on their

shoulders so i do think men these days at least the ones i see are dealing with what seems to be a lot and they're dealing with it kind of silently and so i don't know if that answers your question it does and that's also a good answer i feel like liz and i are always talking about that that like men don't feel like they are able to speak up about things for a lot of reasons like troubles what they're having and like you know a part of that is like the societal thing of like you know like rub a little dirt in it and move on no but also it's because like there are these like incel fucking weirdos that are like you said ruining it for everyone and i think that that is very helpful information to have i think there are too many it's it's the loud majority no the

loud minority yeah oh yeah yeah they're just like oh man we're such an oppressed class i'm like no we're not man but like because honestly because of them nobody wants to hear anything that men are dealing with yeah and like it's kind of only getting worse right now like mental health epidemic in the man i don't say man sphere because it sounds like manosphere but like in the realm of men like everything's getting more expensive men are like being less and less able to like provide especially younger men and i think that has some very negative downstream consequences that we obviously face today because when a man freaks out it's way worse than when a woman freaks out because when a man freaks out they do really destructive shit yeah so like i would just tell

people and people might be like oh what the fuck is this guy talking about you're you're caping for something i'm saying i just think we need to like acknowledge this problem and approach it with approach it with more of a like hey let's figure this out even though it does seem unfair to the woman of the world who didn't ask for this to happen yeah with uh with you know the current state of men in america at least right yeah so yeah hell yeah babe i'm good though don't get me wrong yeah no i know what you're saying though i just see it every day and i'm like yo what truly i'm like what the fuck what is this yeah this is crazy things are things are changing yeah they don't have the tools to deal with it right i'm lucky i i was born right place

right time right people so like i'm just a i'm i'm luckily a product of my circumstances and even that i'm not perfect but it's like a lot of men just don't have it yeah i know the answer to the first part of this one but i don't know the answer to the second part who is your current celebrity crush and who is your first celebrity crush my current you know my current celebrity crush i think i do maybe i don't i haven't thought about that in a minute it's been casey musgraves absolutely casey casey for sure original probably hillary duff lizzie mcguire era i thought for some my brain really thought you were gonna say hillary clinton for a sec no not even a little bit but hillary duff for sure huh hillary clinton could get it young hillary clinton looks like

now sabrina carpenter you're so right yeah but uh hillary duff i don't know i think it was like i like lizzie mcguire a lot yeah so that's yeah that's a good one but would you say your current is still casey musgrave oh she's the best sick my dms are open honestly if she slid oh and do a lipa too that's another way but do a loop is easy man that's like yeah she's she's hot of course everyone everyone loves do a lipa but yeah she's kind of my celebrity group casey's just kind of like she's got that weirdo to her yeah she's hot you do like a weirdo me this house is a weirdo house it absolutely is a bunch of freaks the dog's a fucking abnormal animal the cat's emo you and i are both different yeah it really is a quirky house it is it is but we're not like

annoyingly about it we're quirky yeah we're so different i think we try and tone it down absolutely um do you know what a hot girl walk is no but that's some shit liz would say let me find the actual definition of a hawker that is such a like liz lexicon between that hot girl walk and uh snack culture yeah liz i don't know if liz is gonna be listening but we bring up snack culture that shit is funny man she cracks me up all the time um okay a hot girl walk is a mindset driven outdoor walk focused on three positive thoughts gratitude goals and confidence originating as a pandemic coping mechanism to foster positivity has grown into a global trend

inspiring millions to focus on mental and physical well-being through exercise and self-affirmation so that's how it started but now a hot girl walk is like basically just like you just walk and talk shit with your girls hey that's you know that's a good outlet i think we kind of do a hot girl walk every day yeah i guess so right it's not really talking shit it's like kind of we just bullshit sometimes i don't even say a word sometimes i have nothing to say yeah right i take my i take my own walks i just yeah you do you've been walking yeah it's either i'm either like just fucking around or i'm completely like zero yeah try and hear the wind and the water that's good you gotta ground yourself yeah so you know the question though is if men had a version of hot

girl walks what would it be you'd uh well like the version you mentioned of like walking around with your girls and talking shit like that parallel yeah sure walking around with your boys and naming random athletes you guys do that that's like the joke is that you get you get a bunch of guys in a room and they start naming like the most obscure athletes that's so funny like the old five lakers chucky atkins jermaine jones you just you just hear brown chris mim yeah it's just it's like who who who has it off the top of their they say jermaine jones yeah sasha vujicic is an 18 year old from slovenia like well we love doing this shit that's so yeah yeah just like like just random right this is like a twitter trend but it's a real thing that

like men do do you have any friends that are like very much so not into sports yes my best friend doesn't give a shit about sports really yeah not even a little bit interesting yeah but you know the most of us we do yeah because y'all have like your fantasy league and everything yeah we just plugged in man it's a sweet escape um you know that whole trend of men thinking that they could land a plane in an emergency yeah what is your most irrational man opinion that i could land a plane in an emergency there are so many there's this pilot that i watch on youtube pretty frequently named captain steve yeah i think i've seen i've walked in on you watching i love captain steve but he is like very much in the camp of that's not possible no it's not it's not i'm

just joking it takes way too much but i think that that's interesting because i've i've like talked to so many men that are like absolutely that i i've started to be like well maybe they can you know but he's like there's no way there's no way is interesting because i don't know if it's been done before but like yeah like being guided through it maybe but like i don't know what's my most irrational thing though um if i had to i could scale a building if i had to i could see it if i like if it was like hey you're gonna die if you don't i'd be like fuck it i can i can you have the strength well just it's fingers yeah yeah you know this is i think is gonna be difficult for you to answer let's let's do it just knowing you as a person what's the most

ridiculous hill you'd die on in an argument ridiculous ridiculous is i don't think anything any hill i'd die on is ridiculous that's the yeah of course of course ridiculous well what defines ridiculous because then you then you like like let's reframe this a bit right okay you wouldn't die in a hill you think is ridiculous that's true okay so like what's the most what's a hill that you die on that you think that most people wouldn't agree with I think Nevermind by Nirvana is the most important album ever that's a good answer yeah you could argue a white album by the Beatles maybe Thriller by Michael Jackson I think Nevermind by Nirvana is not even my favorite Nirvana album but I think

it literally changed like the music we listen to today would not we wouldn't like we'd be living in a different universe if that album didn't come out and nothing sounds like it yeah just took us off of a path interesting yeah well you were saying that the other day it's like a song popped up on tv and you're like thank god nirvana got us out of yeah right if we let hair metal go on any longer than it did just shit would be different yeah contemporary pop would sound different rock would sound different hip-hop is in its own lane so no um yeah just speaking of hair metal this is a total diversion and i have a couple more questions to ask you but frank and i watched big last night which is my favorite movie of all time and it didn't hold up what do

you mean i thought you loved it i do love it no i mean it's it holds up in my heart but like yeah it was great but it got very uh sketchy yeah i don't know the pedophilic undertones it's just interesting to see what movies they were able to get away with making in the 80s yeah i mean i don't know if anyone has seen big but like it's a great movie tom hanks is like 32 yeah he's killing it but and i can spoil it in a way it's you could i think you could explain it without spoiling it the woman interest in the movie essentially makes love to a 30 year old man but with the brain of a 13 year old yeah so it's weird for those of you that haven't seen big a third a 12 year old wishes on a zoltar machine to become an adult and wakes up the next morning as an adult and he's

like so he's still a kid but he's in an adult body and this woman falls in love with him but he's a child but not really because he's 30 he's in a 30 year old body yeah man there's some ethical lines it's really interesting anyway it's just like the movies that they got away with making it was a very 80s movie yeah where the whole premise is i wish i was big yeah it's very cute i really liked it i can love that movie so much um okay anyway back to our questions we have four more questions okay hit me um do men really think about nothing or is that a myth i think it depends on the time of the day i'm kind of always thinking about stuff but every

now and then i'm like i want to literally think about zero yeah some men though i'm pretty sure nothing's going on in their heads i just look at them and i'm like not a single thought yeah you know and maybe it's better that way for them they seem to be doing well yeah but like it's probably yeah it's probably better for everyone for them to be thinking about nothing yeah i but i i don't really believe that it's all the way nothing right i don't think that's possible yeah i mean the buddha was trying to reach a state of just yeah just observing and not thinking about it just letting it happen but i don't think manners end out like that truly yeah um nothing yeah that's interesting that sounds so fucking peaceful to get to a state of being able to not

think about anything yeah but then you'd think about not thinking about anything and then you get in the loop that's so true yeah that's like before i started taking adderall whenever i would be like really listening to something someone was saying i would be like oh my god i'm fucking focusing right now this is great but then i would like stop listening to them because i would be thinking about how great of a job i was doing focusing it do be like that do we like that okay is there a compliment men get that means way more than people realize i like being told i was thoughtful about something yeah yeah especially when you say it makes me really happy oh i know because it's like you know that it's like that's like uh that's very special acknowledgement

yeah you know that like your effort was like you know received and acknowledged yeah more so than like did you did something but that like you really like put your heart into it totally rather than just being like oh thanks for like doing that thing or like taking the trash out or whatnot not totally a thank you goes such a long way absolutely i think i realized that really young because i would be like when i was like 13 and i would do something nice for someone and they wouldn't say thank you it would piss me the fuck off and i don't know if i got that from my parents i mean yeah i don't know it's just interesting yeah it's weird not being appreciated but being i don't know it's it's an interesting like dichotomy yeah next question yeah what do men

actually talk about when women aren't around i think you kind of answered that already bullshit yeah complete bullshit like nothing of consequence yeah depends right depends on who you're with if it's a lot of us complete bullshit yeah that makes sense you know if it's like a few people or one person it can get deep it depends on the relationship but like when it's a lot of us like at a bachelor party nothing of substance unless someone's going through something oh yeah and then a friend of mine um had a theory in college that is so true he said if it's just dudes and they're drinking there will be heart to hearts yeah it's just dudes that's so it's true it's true because he would walk around our house at parties or not parties if it was just us like

just like there's a lot of us living in this house like 15 of us holy shit and um he just pointed out he's like told you when it was just dudes that's so funny two guys having a heart to heart you know and then there's the they give each other a dap up every like five minutes that's so cute look at it it's like this is his theory i just i fucking love male friendships like obviously like unproblematic male friendships it's very important absolutely it's so cute to me i'm lucky i lucked out with my college situation yeah you did they're all such good dudes they're okay they're fine it really does say a lot about a guy like the friends that they have and that they keep around too oh yeah they're not we're not going anywhere me and my buddies yeah so i love

that yeah what's the weirdest thing you believed about women before you dated seriously what yeah the weirdest thing i believed about woman before what does dating seriously mean dating you like date just like dating like before you like really got to know a woman shit oh i don't know that's that's a tough question tough question because i was never like oh these bitches right you know i just never thought like that i was always like if something's happening it's probably my fault which wasn't true either right like completely like not like like not always the case yeah definitely the case a lot of the time early on but not always the case but like yeah i don't know see i'm not i'm not a good interview right now i can't some of these

questions are tough they are tough i can ask you we can we can shift gears because if you if you but you can also think about it there's there's there's i never i just never like sat and felt like oh you know what these girls like yeah like what's up with i never like girls like why does this happen yeah he's like oh you know so and so is emotionally unavailable i've been emotionally yeah you've always been very like you you think deeply about things and you always have the things that your mother has told me that you said when you were a baby are insane to me it's so much insight into your brain i'm just trapped behind the bars of this complex mind this tortured mind of mine this insane asylum inside of my head damn babe i'm fine i'm normal get that written down

normal um i got this ad and this is not an ad but i did get this ad from this um this app called flamingo have you heard of this app no i love the birds though me too yeah i remember seeing them at the la zoo around 2012 it was magical they're all in the intro so you walk in i'm with my high school girlfriend at the time wow what the fuck i know i know i know she's sweet but we went to the zoo i remember it was a big drive we had to go on the freeway and then um we walk in and it smelled like fucking shit and fish and she's like it's the flamingos and they just like they're all lined up as you walk in it was beautiful but do you know why they're pink they eat shrimp yeah shrimp aren't even pink yeah they're pink after you cook them exactly so i

think it's a bunch of bullshit i think so too but actually no now i want to fact check that shrimp aren't even pink after you cook them uh it's because of the beta carotene a red orange pigment that's found in high amounts within the algae brine brine fly larva and brine shrimp that flamingos eat so it's like it's like chemical in them it's part of it huh yeah anyway so this app is called flamingo and i get ads all the time and then i save them because i want to ask you these questions uh-huh um it's like a question asking app okay so i'm gonna ask you them okay i'm gonna set this up a little bit what a way to get to that point it's a question asking app and it gives me questions so i'm gonna ask you the questions

it's like trying to get the word count you have such a way with words and thinking it's just so watching you arrive to a point is just such a like i really never try to interrupt it either unless it's like it's like dire times and it's like we need to get this going that's true yeah whenever you really rush me through something i'm like oh i gotta it's rare but when it happens it's it's i'm like i'm like we need to do this right now that's so funny all right here we go are you ready yeah i'm ready if you lost me in a supermarket where's the first place you would look granola section oh that's a good answer easily yeah because i don't know what else you're gonna like like you obviously buy stuff but it would be the granola section or

if it was a trader joe's frozen section by the for sure but not for frozen stuff no for the snacks yeah oh yeah you really know me oh yeah where would you where would you find me um i would probably find you looking at yogurt for like a very long time i disagree no i i have timed you looking at the yogurt what the fuck man but then also probably the chicken the chicken aisle i was gonna say just produce because there's so much and it's so colorful yeah or the drinks oh that's a good answer yeah yeah i would find you in the drinks so frank loves drinks frank loves drinks more than the normal person i just love i love all of them he's a big drink guy but you're frank is a very very good chef so yeah i think that's the the reason it's a difficult question for me

to answer is because i would find you everywhere i love grocery stores yeah i used to just go for fun and just look around me too it's very therapeutic yeah especially like new ones and you're like oh i'm not i haven't been exposed to this like crop of groceries before you said that so sincerely yeah no i i mean it right it's like new colors new labels yeah you know i'm just like wow i don't get that especially like in other states like regional groceries yeah so cool you know what's interesting is in canada they have like less options for things so like their cereal aisle is like really pared down which makes sense those socialists it feels it feels like a very american thing to have too many options good fuck it okay if you heard me

scream from another room what would you think happened uh one of the pets would be in trouble but that's kind of dark so i don't want to dive in on it i mean i think that that's probably the only thing that i would like yell about i'm the yeller yeah the one that when shit falls i scream yeah you are you exclaim i do it's just i get it from my mom yeah right i was gonna say if you scream from another room i'd either think that you dropped something or you're just like something was wrong with work yeah yeah i do be freaking out but you know everybody needs to it's a release oh i like this question okay if i forgot everything tomorrow what's the first thing you'd tell me about us looks like 50 first dates i haven't seen that movie you would love it

if you forgot everything tomorrow the first thing about us yeah does it have to be like about like like okay this is this is why i'm pressing on the question like a relationship fact or like like how we are whatever you think would be the most important thing for me to know we have a cozy home no no that's stupid that's what i'm trying to get at is i would want to explain i was trying to say like oh like here's like a one-line fact yeah i probably explained to you i'm like hey we live together and we laugh a lot together yeah and we have these pets in our house that make us laugh too and it all just works very like perfectly and it's very peaceful i think that's where i'd go with it that's a really good answer

yeah and the dog that we have won't stop fucking licking your leg oh now she's self-conscious i think if the tables were turned the first thing i would tell you i mean my first thought goes to like it's so selfish i would just be like you like me a lot it's true i just don't want you to forget that i probably snap back into it right away i would hope so i see you smile get all giddy it's true um if you had to sum us if you had to sum up us in one moment what would it be every time i this is recency bias but whenever i mispronounce a word and i like resign myself and then i look and you're like on the floor like like your entire face is stretched out and you're silent laughing but what's funny about it is he knows that i'm

going to laugh so he just gives up right away he just like really resigns himself to the fact that he's mispronounced this word he stops trying to say what he was about to say and it is so fucking funny there's something you know when things just hit a nerve that's one that i can always count on i'm a non-native english speaker too which makes it much harder for me the embarrassment that's not why i laugh at you that's so fucked up um okay i think this will be the last one before we do a little rapti rue i'm into it uh if i told you i just bought something crazy what would you guess it is the cartier bracelet yeah easily you're probably right about that you talk about that the the most

of like big purchases i'd be like oh shit this is another thing i feel like i should explain because that does feel very um materialistic which it is but i've always said that whenever i hit a million followers on any of my platforms i'm gonna buy myself a cartier love bracelet i said if i hit a million or i turn 30 whichever comes first and obviously i'm 32 and i still haven't hit a million followers and i don't have a cartier love bracelet so they're very expensive but this has been the thing that i'm like i'm gonna splurge on this when i have a lot of money as you should if you said it i would think you got another dog another wiener dog for sure i think another thing it would be some like because you because you will like i'll be sitting

in the living room you'd be like oh you'll come in with this face i'm like what happened i just ordered something and it's like a whole new like craft contraption like oh it's like a vinyl label maker yeah my cricket yeah my cricket that's the word i forgot it would be something like that but even more grand yeah it would be a normal sized cricket not a cricket joy i got the small joy is good for now i got the small cheap one babe no you're proud of me you're doing good work with it i'd say so yeah it's paying for its no it's not paying it's not paying for itself yet um okay i'm gonna find a sex fact now and then we're gonna wrap wrap me up i'm gonna give you two penis facts the first one is over the course of two weeks a single human male produces enough

sperm to impregnate every fertile woman on the planet dudes rock that's some gangas con shit we're the best um and the second one is your worst fear is a reality the penis gradually shrinks with age man see but when yours is really tiny from birth into being a teenager that's just not a problem can't get any worse than this shut up little three inch picker oh my god take that out you know what i've noticed is like every dude that makes a joke about their dick being small doesn't have a small dick and every dude that feels the need to tell everyone that he has a great dick has a really small dick not that it matters i think it matters more to y'all than it does to us i don't know a single person male i don't know a single male with a developed

brain who cares yeah or we just joke about it totally you know but that is such a common thing that i've noticed you do have friends with monster weans and we're just like yo pull it out dudes are so funny oh yeah all right well i think we're gonna wrap it'll be a short episode as it is you know it's great it's a great episode we're just yapping i love yapping thank you so much for co-hosting with me q thank you for setting this up yeah in your in your office you know our office we're currently in frank's office i've i've taken up shop there's like nowhere in this house that's like not echoey no this is kind of the perfect space yeah maybe it's my office now oh you will you have it yeah that's true right there yeah you have two offices i do

i do i use neither of them all right um would you like to sing us out i think it's all you um polly would you like to sing it all with me no she says no we love you our children it's frank's favorite part he listens to it every week huh babe yeah yeah yeah absolutely okay bye Thank you.