The Hoely Hour - E106 Greyhound Bus Behavior

Episode Date: October 14, 2022

Have you ever jerked off on a Greyhound bus? (Please say no.) Amelia shares some of the wildest places people confessed to masturbating in! Liz and Amelia talk about their worst bosses and sussing out who's a friend and who's a cop, and ACAB includes HR. This sex fact of the week will make you laugh and maybe scream. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

I have a condition. I'm chronically horny. You gotta suck me off right now or I'll die. Welcome to The Holy Hour, a podcast about sex, relationships, mental health, and everything in between. I'm Amelia Sampson. And I'm Liz Ball. Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at The Holy Hour.

I'm on Instagram and TikTok at Amelia Sampson. And I'm on Instagram and TikTok at Liz Ball So Hard. You can also watch us on YouTube or listen ad-free on Patreon at patreon.com slash theholyhour. Check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com. I am excited for today's topic, well the main topic, which is we got a request to talk more about like work related relationships, like what to do when you have a shitty boss and what we think about work wives and work husbands all the good stuff and you know what even though

I don't explicitly talk about what I do for work I love talking about work related things yeah I love work tea who doesn't love work drama and gossip it's really you know when you have a boring job like me it's really the only thing keeping me afloat is work drama and and when you don't want drama in your like personal social circle work drama is a great outlet for that absolutely love I love a little bit of work goss me too um this was reminding me um because when you texted me that the angels had requested this um I said that I had something tangentially related I was at a party this weekend and people were talking about how they masturbate at work and I will at this party we're like I masturbate at my job yeah I don't remember how it came up

what did they do they go into the bathroom and they masturbate no I mean what do they do for work oh like tech jobs they're like in an office yeah so like they just like go into the bathroom and rub one out multiple times a day sometimes and i was like concerning i was like i don't think i've ever been horny enough at work to like go into the bathroom and like masturbate but then as i was saying that people were like oh yeah i've done that like once or twice like there were a few people that had done it was it only people with penises yeah but that's still shocking imagine going into the women's bathroom and hearing well see that was the that was the question that i had i was like are you just like

in a stall but it's like a one-person bathroom remember how at our old office there was like that weird one-person bathroom yeah they do that in their office and they just like go in there and just jerk one out and i just can't imagine being so down bad about anything i need to jerk off at work yeah but also like i masturbate in the middle of the day at home i'm working from home i guess that's kind of masturbating at the office i think that's different i think so too because you're at home yeah but that is the office so maybe we all masturbate at the office in the world of working from home damn but the reason that i'm now bringing this up is um and we can also do this is work related yeah right but we can also do this second part of my rant

at the end because I in this conversation that I was having with these people they somebody brought up masturbating while driving on the freeway and I've done that maybe they said that because they knew it knew that I did they're like this bitch looks like somebody that would masturbate go in 60 or maybe they heard it on the pod maybe did i say that on the pod you did of course i did you said it on the pod in an earlier episode that's and i remember because it was one of the rare occasions where mr liz listened to the episode and he brought it up later because he thought it was really funny oh okay i was like oh god what did he say i really care about what mr liz thinks because i think he's really cool whenever liz is like oh yeah i told mr liz that

you said this I'm like you guys were talking about me does he think I'm cool what'd he say does he think that that was a cool thing that I said uh but yeah no I was kind of relieved to hear that somebody else does it because like I mean it's happened more than once I haven't just done that a time it's been a while but like then I started thinking how many people are am I next to on the freeway that that are just jerking off yeah so that then inspired me it's probably more common than we are thinking yeah well thank you for saying that Liz that was the perfect segue I posted a question anonymously because I figured people would be a lot more like forthcoming so to speak forthcoming uh it makes it so much harder with these this mic the arms yeah well

gout dads that's no longer a thing I guess um but I posted what where's the weirdest slash craziest place that you've ever masturbated and got a bunch of anonymous answers and like the first three that I got I haven't looked at them since then but the first three that I got were all on the highway all of them like and I wonder just like is it in traffic or no I'm usually like pulling 60 god if my parents are listening to this they're gonna take away they've already heard you talk about it because you've already talked about it I'm acting like I'm not 29 years old I'm like they're gonna take my car keys from me I mean it's very rare that someone's parents listens to them talk about uh masturbating so yeah it's one of those things that we we all

know each other's doing it but we just like don't talk about it yeah I really truly think my parents are just numb to all this shit at this point they're like well we support you that's our daughter jerking off on the freeway um country song what when you when you do engage in this activity um are you wearing like a skirt or a dress no not necessarily you just shimmy out of your pants i just pull just shove my hand down my pants oh yeah it is normally when i'm leaving a man's house that has not held up his end of the deal interesting and i'm like good to know i have to make this happen right now i usually don't go on long drives well now i'm wondering like what the fuck's going on that men need to jerk off twice at work sometimes more than twice more

than twice yeah i was talking to the the guy that's staying with me who still doesn't have a nickname by the way his he had a nickname before but we're changing it um still haven't landed on one but the guy that's staying with me was like that sounds like like an anxiety problem like you just have so much like pent-up energy that you're just like i gotta jerk off i have to come right now and i i like there's that or there's also like i don't know like is that like a condition that like you're horny literally all the time i think it is but i don't know what it is called being just being chronically horny i guess i guess i have a condition i'm chronically horny you gotta suck me off right now or i'll you're gonna suck me up or i'll die

um anyway so we'll read some of those responses that we got later on in the maybe at the end love that it's there my cat has been digging in the litter box for so long wrap it up it's our ibs king i think that we should start with the juiciest which is bad bosses okay and then we can talk about good bosses or what would you say is the juiciest go wash your hands um that was so you said that so calmly oh that was a winner um when i leave the house i tell them to clean up this mess i always say i know no one else is here to hear it i'm like clean up this mess yeah um do you think that work wives or like work wives and husbands are more interesting than bad bosses or bad workplaces um well we've talked about work wives and work

husbands in the past so maybe we should start with bad bosses okay and then we'll all right we'll figure it out we'll figure it out as we go um have you ever had a bad boss have i i think my first bad boss was at american eagle and he was a very very good salesman so i thought that he was a good boss because he was like a good like image of what i should be doing i was like oh he could saw the shirt off his back but he was such a bad leader like he was so mean and he played favorites and like he didn't train any of us well he like shamed us a bunch like in front of each other um and that was definitely like big i know we've talked about peter principle before um but never in like the space of work we've talked about you know a relationship petering out

but we've never talked about the peter principle at work which is just the concept that someone is promoted to their own point of incompetence um yeah and that we see that often in like middle management where like someone is like the fucking worst boss and you're like how the fuck did they get here but then they never get promoted and it's because they cannot manage being a manager yeah or a supervisor or whatever it is at their job right they're usually they hit a wall with leadership. Yeah, totally. It's because you can be really, really good at your job and be a really bad leader. Exactly. And that's fine. Just don't be a leader. I also don't understand why a lot of jobs think that the next step of promotion is making someone manage a group

of people. I think that they just don't have anywhere else to go from there. So they're like, I don't know. Here's a team. Go. Here's a group of people. Go for it. And that also kind of leads into something I wanted to mention so I manage a team of people um I manage a team of eight it used to be nine but we just moved someone to another team uh for good reasons um but I think like being a good manager is very hard a lot of the people I manage are very early on in their career um or they're like they have transitioned into a new role um and managing this is something no one tells you managing people who are early on in their career is incredibly hard it is so hard because people who are new in their career are gonna like they're gonna develop really fast

you know especially because when you're like at that point you have a lot of drive and ambition and excitement and you're like okay I mastered this thing what's next because I was the same way you know my early 20s I'm like out of my way yeah I mean I was like the I'm I was the opposite of that when I was like green in my career I like needed a whole lot of handholding because I like hate making mistakes I'm not somebody that like is okay with doing bad at something to be better I want to do right do it right the first time and so I was like a manager's fucking nightmare when I first started in corporate because like I was like hi is this right like before I did anything i'm like is this correct they're like just fucking do it figure it out yourself and i'm like i don't

want to though i don't want to do it badly so like there's like your kind of right like new hire and then there's like my kind of new hire which is true and to be a manager you have to like know how to like manage both yeah you have you can't just like be you can't just be like i'm this type of manager if you want to be a good manager you need to know how to manage the person you're managing like everyone needs something different and it's up to you to figure that out and be that for them some people are going to need more training more attention more communication than someone else yeah like i have just like a total array of personalities and i adore them all they are all my children they call me auntie i love that well it's because i think they tried

to call me like mom and i was like no yeah that is not happening right now so they uh one of them calls me auntie especially when I get um spicy with pushing back on stuff with out like mostly with HR I'll just say that like if age because our HR has made so many fucking mistakes it drives me nuts um so then you know I'm the I'm their manager so it's up to me to try and rectify whatever mistake they made right so I get all I'm like what did they say to you loop me in on that email I'm like hello it is my understanding that's my favorite line it was my understanding yep but what does that actually mean translate that what it was my understanding yeah it was like well I mean it is what it means like it's my understanding that this is what you're supposed

to do like why haven't you done it you know how there's like corporate jargon always means something else though it's like per my last email is like yeah I don't say that you know how to know how to I use my last email all the time if I do have a like per my last email mention I'll just like I'll just be like I did mention this in an earlier email after this I'll bump it for you so it's at the top of your inbox I also don't take anything too personally at work I think that's like the biggest advice I like it's okay for your job to just be your job and I didn't feel like that until more recently um and if any of my co-workers are listening it's like I doubt they are but if they if you are like my job is just my job I like what I do and I like the people I'm

working with I like my boss but um it's not a core part of my identity and how I feel about myself and i think that it used to be a lot yeah that's interesting a lot of people associate their job with their identity and going to therapy has changed a lot of that um it's interesting your identity you're like i'm not my job yeah so then who am i yeah and then you're like oh i'm trauma responses so when i'm not trauma responses now who am i yeah and then you have a crisis like me yeah going to therapy is like you really open up a can of worms yeah i really do but then you're not stomping around at work when you have a bad day well you know what's interesting though is like i i gave a presentation at work like a couple of months ago about like the stuff that i'm doing

on social media um it was like a creative spaces chat and there were people in there that like really really take their job very very seriously so i was like a little nervous to like sir but i was really nervous to like speak out at turn because like i didn't want it to be like i care about this more than i care about what i do at work you know but somebody asked in the q a like why are you still why don't you do this that full time and i was like i mean like i don't know if this is okay to say but i kind of just like work here at like my nine to five for like a means to an end yeah and i was like i don't know if i'm allowed to say that and then like the person who was like the somebody that I think takes their job like I've always like looked at

her and been like her job is her entire life was like you're absolutely you're absolutely allowed to say that that's why we're all here and I that was like a big moment for me like a big human moment to be like oh shit like most of us are really just working just to make money like I've learned that the people I respect the most have something else in their personal life that they're so much more passionate about but that's also something that was so inspiring to me especially with starting this podcast with you is the people I admired the most at work at my last job all had something that they were so good at and passionate about outside of work and it was from anything from like pottery to kickboxing to wrestling like people have the fucking coolest interests

and they love that so much more than their job and having that balance just brings a lot of like i think it's the reason why our last place that we worked was so collaborative if y'all hear any sort of strange sounds it's my cat it's gatsby's trying to look out the window yeah which is fine we love that for him graham says now that he's in my lap hi ryan reynolds here for mint mobile are you looking for a beach read this summer may i suggest your big wireless bill it's got suspense, mystery, a slightly flat emotional arc, and a shocking twist where you realize you've been overpaying the entire time. Fortunately, though, Mint's story is better. Every plan, $15 a month, even unlimited. That's it. Happy ending. Zero tears. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

Upfront payment of $45 for three months, $90 for six months, or $180 for 12-month plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Taxes and fees extra. Initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. See terms. He's okay. But I want to talk, let's, let's talk shit about our worst bosses okay was so your worst boss would you say he's your American Eagle boss no that was definitely not my worst boss I had a boss who you see it's tough okay so I'm gonna preface this with I was talking to a friend of mine about like how he feels about his boss and he's like I've never had a boss that is like that cares about like the people and how we feel and also like your career development it's always one or the other and he's like until I had the boss

that I have now and I was thinking I'm like I really haven't had that many bosses that care about both most of them have only cared about one or the other I've had bosses that like in our one on ones are just like on their computer the whole time like not listening to what I'm saying like there's been that but then I had a boss when I first started at the place that I'm at now I think she was like my third second or third boss we went through this like weird like turnover on my team yeah i was gonna say didn't you have like i had like 50 bosses it was bananas um but she was she like adopted me like really early on and like started treating me like her daughter and like i loved that because i was so scared at this place your step boss yeah

go for it go for it wow that was gingerly um he loves doing that taking his time it's because he's not very good at being a cat he's not coordinated i love that especially if he's really happy he's like drunk baby it's the cat and it probably didn't help either um but she she was like very how do i describe this like she would like cry to me about things like when trump got elected i like got came into the office and i was like really fucking sad and she like pulled me into a meeting room and just started like sobbing she like hung up on the the client once because the client was being a bitch she was the fucking worst i never used that word but she was such a bitch she called her ursula yeah wait the client was a bitch oh my god yeah the power

to hang up on a rude client yeah but then she got fired after that that was yeah she got fully fired for doing that but holy shit she was like so much work t i had no idea this was before i was there well so I ended up doing like she disappeared she like opened up to me about like her like dad her relationship with her dad growing up it was really strange like right after she got fired and then that was the last time I heard from her like she never responded to any of my texts or anything and I felt really abandoned because like this was before I knew that this was like not great boss behavior because it was my first like big girl corporate job like wow she's confiding in me yeah I was like oh cool we're friends but so I started doing research to

figure out where she went and i found like all of these court cases that she was in from like years prior she had a different name before and now she has a name that's like you can't find her anywhere there's like a million of them she has like the most common last name oh my god ever was she like in witness protection program i don't know i think that she changed her name to like get away from her criminal record so she could get jobs places she would refuse to be in pictures like we had like a big Halloween event that like and everyone like took a picture on like the the floor like the first floor in our building together can't be as expressive as I want yeah yeah no she like was like oh I don't like being in pictures I don't want to be in

pictures and it was just like so she was just a very secretive strange woman but the reason that I say that she was a bad boss was because she crossed so many boundaries like she was like too much of a friend there was no career development there at all like she wouldn't stand up for me ever when i needed her to fuck that i was about to be like okay i'm very guilty of like falling into the the close friend but that's cool type of territory but that doesn't come at the expense of like my team's like improvement you know like I'm always gonna prioritize what they want their development to be right and that's the difference looking for opportunities for that kind of growth that's the thing is like if she would have just had any sort

of like interest in my career growth it would have been like excusable to be like really buddy buddy with me but it was like she was only my friend and like kind of like my mom it was really weird she was like an abusive mom to you yeah she's like dumping her trauma on you and then abandoning you yeah she just fucking disappeared that's shitty and then my current boss saw her on a bus once and she just like looked out the window the whole time like fully like had her whole body turned away from my current boss oh my god so she wouldn't see her but she had already seen her yes so anyway that was probably my worst boss I still wonder what happened to her I want to know what her criminal history was I almost called the King County Courthouse to get more information

because you had to like call for that record and I was like I and their public record yeah so you don't need to give a reason and I almost did it but I was like part of me doesn't really want to know I want to know well let's do it then well tune in next week to see what Amelia's boss old boss's criminal record is my worst boss was at a PR agency in Vegas we were like talking about the work environment in Vegas recently and it's just such a boys club everywhere you go the industry there sucks ass it's like all hotels and casinos and restaurants and that's fine but they're bad clients they're not good clients to work with they have their own heads so far up their own ass like it's impossible to do anything and working at that agency like it was a grind i

was working like literally seven days a week you don't get a break we were working on the weekends and someone had a weekend even if you weren't working you still had to post shit on the weekends so we were posting seven days a week and like now i have some of the biggest clients i could ever possibly fucking have and i have never had to do the kind of work that they were making us do it's ridiculous and you just we had to do everything like from photography to design to copywriting to like community management and replying to people it fucking it was so fucking exhausting and there was no work-life balance like um the it was the worst place i've ever worked and the worst boss i've ever had not a good combination the front desk girl um one of

the ceos told her to write down the names of anyone who walked in like a minute late are you fucking kidding me no i would have been so fucked yeah like if you were if you weren't there early and staying late like you were shunned and i remember one girl like um had a stress rash on her hand and I was like what is that and she was like it's it's a rash from like anxiety from working here and I was like oh my god and she's like my family really wants me to quit and it got to the point for me too where my mom was begging me to leave damn um but like she would leave at five and people were like did you see that Annie left at five I'm like yeah her job's nine to five i would work from eight to six like it ew it was miserable um i just don't have that kind of work

but my don't my boss is like the congregator of the entire environment that they have like she facilitates it she encourages it she will like if she comes in and she's in a bad mood everyone's on pins and needles like you could literally cut the tension with a knife she like will like zip around into everyone's cubicle and like grill them about what they're working on and she just like goes through phases of hounding people and harassing them and then like she is like she pretends to be very caring she's like you can tell me anything and then if you do like tell her something about your personal life she makes it about herself um and she you can tell she gets high off of like playing favorites and like pitting people against each other because

no one trusted each other on our team and it had constant turnover I was miserable and um I remembered yeah I looked older than I do now and it's not just because of the Botox it's just because I was so unhappy I see pictures of you from that time in your life and you look you 100% look younger now but I can't really place what it is um I mean I also was in Nevada like really dries out my skin in the desert so i think that's like a combination of being like depressed and very like dehydrated yeah when i when people leave their job working with me i don't want them to be sitting on a podcast in the future talking about what a fucking shitty boss i was and how miserable i made someone i'm like i feel like i'm in therapy right now because i'm so

worked up and it's been years yeah like i really believe that job was more traumatizing to me than my past relationships you know what fucking sucks about like bosses that are like that that are women which this is about to be controversial yeah brave that the whole idea of like well if a man was this way it wouldn't be a problem is true in a lot of cases like you know like when women are like bossy or like assertive it's like oh she's being a bitch it's like no if a man was doing this it would be okay but then though like there are women bosses female bosses like that just mean girls that are just awful and then they use that excuse like well if a man was this way and it's like no I would still think that they fucking sucked it has nothing to do with your gender

she is self-centered and abusive to the people she manages that's just that is what it is and I get schadenfreude reading reviews from after I left because I'm like I know I am not the only person who fucking hated this and I had no problem writing a glass drawer review that was very specifically outlining the faults and flaws with that role and that team because by that by the time I left a glass drawer review I had moved to the job we met at and that was like night and day like yeah I was I felt like I felt like an abused animal being adopted because everyone was so kind and supportive and like the clients were amazing and the workload was like a quarter of what I had been doing so I was just like walking on the clouds like I was so happy and I was like this

is what a good agency looks like and how it runs and how it treats people and that was so that the boss that I had at um our job where we met is the best boss I've ever had I like so going from the worst boss to the best boss so I constantly like am thinking about how he managed his workload and treated the people he managed I just was thinking about how he made me feel and like how he advocated for me and how he would try and help me accomplish my goals and like I took what I learned from him by observing him and how he treated me and brought it to the job I have now and it's hard for me to not be friendly with my my peers I know I manage them technically but like I can't not be a person and I like I can't not have friends at work yeah no I completely get that it's interesting you and

I both came to the place that we met at from awful fucking PR agencies which is like really it's I think there's like a stereotype about like people that work in PR being kind of like snaky and I mean you kind of have to be to like work in PR a little bit like for a lot of the shit at least for a lot of the shit that I was doing over um at this was the I worked in Detroit for my first job out of college this was the next one after that I would cry like three times a week every week like it was fucking horrible every Monday I would sit at my desk and start crying I was so fucked I was and like shit that would happen at that agency followed me to the place that we met at like I wore Timberlands to work one day when it was like we had to be in at like

5 a.m and like everybody would just dress like casually but the interns had to dress professionally you had to dress like you were always on a job interview that's some hazing shit yes like i was abused when i was an intern so now i'm gonna abuse you and then there was this girl at the new place at our at the agency we met at that used to work at the pr agency that i was at and she started spreading all of these rumors about me at the new place being like yeah she like doesn't dress professionally at all at work and that's sexist as fuck and inappropriate she pulled up my twitter and like in in a meeting and like picked apart my tweets in front of the whole meeting what the fuck is wrong with people i also know i think now that shit would never fly because after 2020

so many people just were like demanding to be treated like humans yeah as they should as we all should this girl was such a fucking bitch again this is what i never used the word bitch i've used it twice that's straight up mean she was what is she gaining by doing that i don't know she fucking sucked but like she and then on the first day she was like talking about vanderpump rules and i fucking love vanderpump rules the show and i was like oh my god i love that show and she like didn't even like turn around to look at me she's like kept typing i was like what the fuck is her problem and then found out that she had worked at this past agency and got like all this like stupid tea about me like wearing timberlands to work i'm like why is this why is

this like important for you to know and tell people look at me listen to what i'm saying how you dress at work has nothing to do with how good you are at doing your job amen and if anyone thinks that how you look or how you dress is any indicator of like your capabilities as an employee they can get fucked get fucked it's not you can be great at your job and i wear i wear pajamas to work every day now because I work from home I used to wear pajamas to the office and see how much I could get away with I have I have a robe that kind of looks like a cardigan I would wear it to work as much as I could I do have to say I loved not like dressing professionally but I loved like putting together a cute outfit and going to work me too I do miss that that's the Libra in me

I can't change that that's like part of why I like going out is like I want to be seen together i want to be seen i want my outfit to be looked at is that too much to ask i want to feel confident in a crowd and that's fair that's just human yeah but um what people think of my outfit at work has nothing to do with what i'm capable of doing but when you're new in an industry i was like that would be traumatized especially when you're young oh my god it was so early 20s and i was so like fucking i came from this very toxic place to a place that i was so excited to be at and the toxic place was following me to my new place yeah not today satan this this is something i live by and mr liz and i talk about i think he got this from a tiktok but i'm not i don't know for sure

everyone you work with is either a friend or a cop and you need to take the time to figure out who's who before you can like confide in people and i've always like after my really shitty job i started doing that in like new work environments um to suss out like who's trustworthy and who isn't and like who who you can just like vent to and not worry about them like going to your supervisor to be like well liz said this it's really tough because like she was having a hard day all of the cops are undercover cops you know they're all trying to be like so friendly and like information out of you yes all the cops the some of the cops are undercover cops some of the cops it's just obvious they're cops and i mean it works especially because like at my last job like

so many of my teammates would call they would just call certain people cops and if you get it you get it yeah you know some people are just fucking cops um and a cab includes hr just remember hr exists to protect the company not you and that's why if you manage people it's your job to take care of your fucking team yeah i was telling mr liz something about like having to um handle a mistake that the finance team had made with one of my employees and what i had said he was like you're a little unionizer and hell yeah honestly that might be like probably my worst trait as an employees like I will unionize people maybe not officially unionize them but everyone needs that person on a team yeah and it's me I love when there's somebody that's unionizing when we got

acquired there was someone that was unionizing like everybody like to like stick it to the man and that there's something very comforting about like they're being the leader for a bunch of people that are unhappy with a situation yeah and never be afraid to ask for what you think you deserve so in that situation where we were being acquired there was like a group of people who were making sure that like the offers we were getting were fair especially in comparison to what we were already receiving and some of it was not fair so we got extra compensation because of those few people and don't be afraid to be one of those people and if you are a little afraid to be one of those people just like be be the one supporting that person yeah there's always

gonna be one right and you'll know if it's you it's just something in you where you're like that's not fair but I do have to say like um standing up for my team and myself is a learned skill I was like you're just kind of naive and you don't know how what's acceptable and how you should be treated when you first start in your career and too many people know that and take advantage of it um so I luckily was surrounded by a lot of people who were really great advocates for me and looking out for me and taking the time to mentor me and I took that knowledge with me and hopefully I'm providing it for the people I manage now because I want them to like I want them to have at least one experience that like the one that I had with my really great boss which is

like to move forward into future jobs like looking for a manager who's going to represent you and your interests and fight for you because that's the most important thing like I could be good at my job all day and do my little data reports and whatever but if I'm not a good manager then I'm not actually good at my job does that make sense yeah because then they'll go forward and they'll know what to ask for and how to advocate for themselves and that's so important yeah that's a skill that you don't like just know yeah you have to have somebody helping you and my really good boss um is the one like who he it made me know what to look at in my future boss so my boss I have now um I think she's great I like her a lot and I wouldn't have picked like I wouldn't

have chosen to come to this job if I didn't think I was going to be leaving behind this great boss and going to like a shitty boss you know I wanted to make sure yeah a lot and some of it's just vibes yeah yeah so totally circling back to what you said about people taking advantage of people that are new and not really knowing what they're doing like that also goes into like the conversation of sexual harassment like that's rampant in the workplace for all genders because too much too too much too much I mean right when I started at the place that we met at like I was there was a lot of really inappropriate shit that I didn't recognize was inappropriate until like years down the line truly because like I didn't really like have anything to compare it to and these were

people that were guiding me in my career to understand what was normal and what wasn't and they would prey on people that had nothing to compare it to like they're not going to harass somebody that like has been at a place for a while like they're not because it's like they know the ropes and they know who to talk to about things and they have people to like talk to and they they prey on people that don't have a lot of friends yet so that they can fight in them and there was a lot of really inappropriate shit there was a vp that would like make me very very uncomfortable who ended up getting fired he got fired because he made a lot of people uncomfortable yeah yeah i don't even know if my story got like thrown into the ring and like why he got fired

which is scary because like i can only imagine how many people weren't saying anything he had sex with a with an employee in the bathroom at the holiday party while his girlfriend was outside what holy shit yeah i found that out like a couple of years later yeah so anyway piece of shit but um that's neither here nor there that was all before i got there too yeah if that happened while i was there i or like after i had left that terrible job and came there if that was all still going on i think i'd be like oh no i made the wrong choice yeah luckily it had all been like figured out by the time i got there yeah he wasn't there when you started no no yeah he had like very recently been let go and they let him quit which kind of pissed me off and oh god that's so annoying

that was another hr thing though that was that was to protect the company but anyway um yeah so never be afraid to speak up about things like that because there are reasons that you're being targeted by certain people especially in people that are like you know have more seniority and authority than you they know what they're doing like that's very calculated um talk to your manager because like we've said hr doesn't really when i told them the first time that i was being harassed they said have you have you asked him to stop and i was like it's not my job to do that to confront a person in a position of power i have not asked him to stop because that's why you're here but then you know now i'm older and i know that's not why they're there exactly

when you when you're older you know so much more you're like no no no no that's bullshit um but that's also why you need to figure out who's a friend and who's a cop yep and if you are one of my co-workers listening to this wondering if you're a cop if you have to wonder you probably are yeah and also don't feel bad i'm a cop too because i am a manager yeah and you know i don't want to be a cop but i at least want to be like a trustworthy good cop who's gonna yeah who doesn't follow the rules yeah no but like you do have to if you're a manager you're a cop in some capacity and you need to know that yep so it's up to you what kind of what kind of cop you're gonna be because ACAB includes managers yeah I was I was complaining to um I have two people who

are like uh my assistants but I can't call them that I don't know what to call them they help me with so much they're so amazing um but I was like complaining to them about how I kind of have to fall into this cop role as a manager of people and they're like yeah but like you're a cool cop oh yeah great oh i'm still a cop yeah it is better to be a cool cop though and you can at least understand that like even if like to other people you are a cop you also have to figure out who's a cop to you if that makes sense um but let's talk about work wives and work husbands okay I have you had a work husband and or a wife I've had a work husband well I've had a few work wives I feel like like I've I got really close with the women on my team

really quick at everywhere I've been like the awful job that I was at like all of us interns were like married yeah which was really great you have to be in it together you have to um I had a work husband at my place that I'm at now he left a long long time a time ago but he was gay like right when he started I was like mine because he's just like I remember him he was lovely I love him so fuck I haven't talked to him in so long but he was like a work husband through and through like I would like cry to him about things and like I would like I am him when I like needed to like vent we would like go to lunch together when I just like needed a sec you know like it was those are scenarios that I think that like having a work husband or a work

wife is so nice they fall into the friend category yeah absolutely yeah so yes I have had both um I don't have either right now which is weird but I also like I don't know working from home makes like having work wives and work husbands it is a little harder yeah what about you and it's harder to suss out who's a cop or a friend when you're working remotely I'm not trying to marry a cop um I think uh I've only had work wives um and just like at all of the jobs I've had it's just people that you become friends with yeah you know um I think at like you were mentioning at the place we were at together um all of the women there are so rad yeah so I made a lot of friends that there um i have to say my main work wife was molly uh i know she listens sometimes so

if you're listening hi molly she's my work wife uh to the point where our team would make jokes about us getting married i love that i love that but we started on the same day and like we also kind of came into like a really close-knit group so it was like you know we were trying to figure out where we fit in and like wanted to be friends with like the girls but like it was being get gate kept by these men which is really weird in retrospect like why they were gatekeeping friendships our friendships with women yeah we're like are they like uncool or like mean girls like we didn't get it and then the more we talked to you guys we're like okay now that we are friends with them ourselves you guys can leave can fuck off yeah yeah that was that whole thing was really

fucking weird that's i was they made it weird oh absolutely i was talking to my therapist though about like the like when that when our group started to like fall apart and people stopped hanging out I was like really distraught about it because like that was like such a great friend group and it fell apart like during the pandemic so like that happened it makes sense but my therapist was like okay but they're just work friends and I'm like no but this was different like this wasn't just we sound culty no you don't understand but it was you know like we would like go on trips together and like it wasn't just like we would talk in the office like I went to San Francisco with a few of them we would go to Chelan all the time like a huge group when I moved to

Seattle people were like warning me I wasn't gonna make any friends and the jokes on them because I walked into a work environment where everyone's friends yeah and everyone's good friends genuinely enjoyed like being around each other it was so nice and like I mean I love it because I was able to like make some really great friends that I know I'm gonna be friends with for a long time like obviously you yeah so there's just uh i miss it me too um i haven't ever had a work husband where it's like a flirtationship type thing or even like your work husband where he's gay i haven't had that um i'm trying to think of if i've had anything close to that i don't really think so uh i i had a client who i called him my work boyfriend um but only to my co-workers yeah

yeah because he was just like so nice and like chill and he's one of those people that you're like i can tell he's a friend and not a cop yeah and he was a client oh it's so great to have a client who like gets it you know i've never had that there i've had a handful of like really fucking dope clients i have some pretty cool clients right now too no i've had one i've had one where they're just like they're like yeah this is just a job but that doesn't mean we can't like have fun and make it good yeah yeah yeah that's so nice it makes you want to do work for them when they're like exactly like all of my almost i would say 75 to 80 of my clients have all been fucking assholes and they'll never know that i'm saying this because they're old and yeah this is

not they're not in our demo but I didn't want to do shit for them like I was just like why would I want to work for like don't bite the hand that feeds you because we're not gonna want to we're not gonna want to feed you anymore yeah you want to do work for cool people it's such a weird dynamic like not only are you employed by your employer but now you're also employed by a client yeah so you got to do double duty double friend cop duty okay if you don't like multitasking or having a million things on your plate at once never work for a fucking agency i hate working at an agency me too if you're my boss i'm sorry i don't nobody nobody likes working at an agency fucking sucks and then when you imply apply in-house they're like agency

experience is like really valued here and i never get a job in-house like please please sir yeah get me i just want to get paid yeah oh my god yeah and that's the thing you also yeah when you work in an agency you don't get paid you're just signing up for abuse don't work in an agency don't do it don't do it um what were you let's circle back to like what your point or what your first jerking off at oh my god the moment that we've been waiting for folks so as a reminder as i said at the beginning of this episode i asked people where the weirdest places that they've masturbated and I had them tell me anonymously and boy did y'all show up I'm excited I'm so excited I don't I don't even know what to anticipate I was like audibly exclaiming while I was writing these down

and Liz has no idea what any of them are okay so just for beginners um out of the I would say I got like 30 responses out of the 30 eight of them were driving on the freeway wow six of them were at work okay okay um somebody was on a greyhound bus while sexting their ex jerking it off on a greyhound bus that's some greyhound bus shit am i wrong that is greyhound bus behavior we need to say that now greyhound bus that is greyhound bus behavior that is a new thing yeah um there was somebody that was on tour in a van with five other dudes i think that they just wanted to use that as a flex like i was on tour i really want to know who it was because there are a couple people that it could have been anyway um that's gross also

somebody was in an admin office at their catholic school kind of hot yep i sort of love that yeah we obviously love sacrilege here yeah um somebody was in the bathroom at work and the reason i wrote this separately was because they sent their husband a video of them doing it which i fucking love honestly that's fun yeah i love that kind of thing um someone i think answered it i think this was a sex answer but they said on the fence at um her mom's house so this is a guy writing on the fence at her mom's house he just ripped her leggings and they went at it on the fence i like that to think that he ripped her leggings and then she just started masturbating maybe you know they didn't specify um somebody went rummaging around in an abandoned trailer

when they were 14 and found like an old like vintage porn calendar and just like masturbated that's fun in this abandoned trailer in the woods which sounds like the beginning of a scary movie yeah that's how you get murdered yeah um clearly they didn't since they lived to tell the tale bar bathroom gross airplane bathroom jerking off in a bar bathroom they said that they hadn't um ejaculated in three days and they were like that was when you were like yeah i'm gonna take care of it now well so they were they were a little drunk and they said something about like the bottles the moist bottles started looking good and they were like i have to go take care of this because clearly something is wrong with me if i'm starting to get turned on by my bottles

by moist bottles um self-awareness you know it has its pros and cons airplane bathroom i've masturbated on an airplane on an overnight i was gonna say didn't you do that i did do that under a blanket not in a bathroom but you masturbated on an airplane i did was anyone next to you no no it was a row to yourself yeah whole road to myself it was an international flight and it was like right when i figured out how to masturbate so first class who yeah no it was just uh yeah and when you when you first figure it out you want to do it all the time yeah i was like a fucking fiend i was worried i was addicted did i tell you that story it's fucked okay um somebody masturbated in a bridge operation booth which i love so they're operating a bridge either that

or they just snuck into a bridge operation booth i don't know which one it was both are um a fun flex yeah I love I like yeah I like I support it I was on the fence but I support it this is the one that I was really excited to tell you somebody said that whenever they go somewhere new they make a point to masturbate at a landmark in that area so like the Fremont Troll the Alamo Wrigley Field and the Brooklyn Bridge are all places that they've hit isn't that incredible like every time I go somewhere new it's not like I'm gonna get a tattoo of the place like some people go places and they get like novelty shot glasses and this person goes and they masturbate at the landmarks And I love that.

They leave their spawn. Yeah, they spread their seed all along Wrigley Field. I fucking love that. Someone masturbated at the back of their seventh grade classroom when they were in seventh grade. They were like hormones, man. I need to circle back to the landmark thing. Oh, please. I need to take the opposite stance as you.

Because it sounds cool at first, but then when you think about it, that's like way too much dedication and planning to just like jerk off I think that's weird I think it's kind of like a fun thing to be like yeah two truths and a lie I orgasmed here yeah I don't know I think it's a landmark there's something weird like when it involves too much planning it crosses over from like maybe like fun and hot to like creepy and weird and it's bordering the creepy weird for me you know I think if I think about it like if I don't think about it too deep I think it's so fucking funny like that's just like funny but that's the thing that you've been like oh that's kind of like interesting and funny but then when you think about it too much you're like oh

something about this is weird yeah yeah but hey you know if you're not um impeding on anyone's personal yeah experience right if you found a way to do it covertly yeah if you can covertly jerk off at a monument hit the white house next make it an extra white house a a um someone in the back of their seventh grade classroom when they were in seventh grade which is that's some seven grade shit that's risky as fuck i would hate to be a teacher in middle school oh my god can you imagine all of those hormones so many people jerking off probably and everyone's like going through puberty so they smell weird and like are getting unpredictable boners jesus um freshman year of college there was like a sign that went up in all of the showers in the men's

room about they were like stop masturbating in the shower you're like fucking up the plumbing which i thought was really funny okay the last one was um live on the radio someone masturbated live on the radio perhaps they're a radio host yeah obviously i still don't like that why i think that that's crossing over into territory where people like it might it seems almost like a kink like an exhibitionism thing yeah and you're subjecting people who don't know they're part of your kink to your kink even if they can't hear it you think that that's see that's where it's weird where you're like maybe um but you know debating morals and um values is subject to everyone's own interpretation this is really interesting that's on the fence you know there's

a couple of things where i'm like oh this little it's a house divided i'm like so lit on all of these i think that but i'm also i haven't really thought like deeply about like the actual like technicalities of all of this i think that masturbating live on the radio is fucking hilarious i it is like i have to say on the surface like objectively that is funny yeah it's funny and it's like about it quirky but then when you start thinking about the logistics of stuff you're like no something about that feels weird yeah like feels kind of icky but objectively on the surface very funny yeah very interesting thank you for submitting those that was so funny i didn't expect there to be so many answers i i put that on my story when i was getting my nails

done also how cute is this color love that they're glow-in-the-dark oh um but i've gone the dark nails put that on the beginning of my nail appointment and by the time i left my nail appointment i had like 20 submissions it was like 45 minutes so thank you thank you thank you to those of you who shared felt comfortable enough to share i mean it's anonymous so yeah but still my god i want somebody messaged me like yeah right this is anonymous and i was like no it actually is but like imagine if like there's no way to actually know if it is just like incriminating yourself masturbating at landmark before we end i have a tiktok for you is it a funny one yes it's well and i think this should be our sex fact of the week because

it's just so interesting and also funny sex fact of the week sex fact of the week tiktok sex fact of the week yeah okay hold on i'm gonna give some context okay to this tiktok so the tiktok is her is this ermay i don't know hermes hermes hermes the cynic um h-e-r-m-e-s dot the dot cynic okay and he stitched it with this other girl's video where the girl is explaining that um men just ignore her and uh i don't know if in a previous video she says she thinks it's because she is a bigger woman um or if the people in the comments just implied that but in the video this user stitched uh the woman is saying like um she is literally ignored like and she tells the story about when she tried to order something and like the guy working didn't even make eye

contact with her there's no one else in line and it was like him and another guy working and then she was like waiting and they like didn't make they weren't making her order or anything and then a couple came up and ordered and then they made that couple's order right away and she was like what the fuck hey i don't know if you forgot about my drink and then they were just like they continue to be rude to her so she's like that's what i meant by like they like treat me like i'm invisible so the user stitches this and he starts by saying like he used to be overweight okay i was obese for like 21 years and then i lost weight and i had the opposite happen but then i looked into it because i was like why the fuck is everyone doing this you're not gonna like the answer so

essentially they did this study where they like took men and women and then they showed like men and women like uh attractive people and unattractive people and then they like gauged the responses in their brains to see what was going on and they found that when women actually i'll start with men first uh when men looked at unattractive women it caused the part of their brain that gets annoyed to light up so like seeing an unattractive woman literally caused them to get annoyed which is like a depressing depressing thought um but then for women uh women can't see men if if a man's unattractive that women literally won't even recognize them as existing in their field of vision uh people fucking suck isn't that funny oh my god that

made my head hurt so so if men see a woman that they are not attracted to they just feel annoyed which sucks yeah like he said it's like an inconvenience for them yeah and then when women are around a man they feel is unattractive they don't even perceive that man that is bonkers they're just but like think about like how often i was thinking about how like men are invisible to me when i am like in a relationship you're like every guy's dream i mean like any any pros any prospective person is like basically invisible to me when i'm in a relationship and um i mean that doesn't mean i don't like you know every once in a while you'll see someone who's just straight up beautiful that you can't help ignore like you can't ignore them you're just like

goddamn yeah yeah god just really said like here yeah here is a beautiful specimen yeah yeah i don't want to say like face or physique because that is also subjective yeah like there's not one specific type of person where i'm like that is attractive it just is yeah it's it's vibe so I just thought like when I was watching this I was like disappointed when he said that men are annoyed when they see like a woman they don't think is attractive and I was like oh that's so annoying and then when he was like but women don't even acknowledge or notice men that they don't think are attractive I was like damn yeah that's wild that's rough I wonder how they gauge that because if they're showing them pictures of men and women and seeing like how they react to

those pictures like is it just like a would love their brain just doesn't react yeah i i would love to know if there's like a sample yeah like what the sample size was and how the study was actually conducted but we're also not a science podcast so or are we what is science science is subjective no it's not that's going to be a soundbite that haunts me for forever science is subjective yeah um at some point it is because like humans are imperfect so our studies are not going to be perfect can you actually this that is a perfect segue into the tiktok that i wanted to show you can i pull it oh yeah are you ready to be vindicated and just a little bit pissed okay so you remember when we were first getting the vaccines and a number of people were reporting

changes to their menstrual cycles after getting the vaccines? Yeah, at the time what I said was, well, lots of things can cause disruption in the menstrual cycle. Chief among them would be the immune response, which the vaccine would induce. But just because people were getting the vaccine and having a menstrual cycle disruption in close time does not mean that the vaccine caused that. And it isn't until we do a good proper study can we say that the vaccine has anything to do with the menstrual cycle disruption? Well, a study came out and it's pretty rigorous and they were showing that the menstrual cycle was disrupted about 0.71 days on average after the vaccine. Now, obviously some people had a longer disruption and some people

not at all. So that's the average. But here's the thing. Oh, they also noted that it was very temporary, like one or two cycles, and then it came back to normal again. And it had no impact on fertility and that is really important. And so what I want to point out here is that making observations like that is really important. It's still not definitive until you do the study and once you have that information you can go for it. But here's why I'm pissed and why you should be pissed too. Because we don't know why the immune system, the immune response causes menstrual disruption. We don't know why. We have known about the immune response and we have had people with uteruses for a really long time. And you'd think that we would be asking those questions.

The menstrual cycle is a part of female physiology and it should be either a driver of physiological processes or it might be a symptom of physiological processes. In other words, something is going on in our body and it is showing up as disruption in our cycle. Why don't we know that? Why don't we know more about our cycle? Because the medical community for a very long time, has not really cared about how women's menstrual cycles work. Just don't care. Mostly they care about how to prevent getting pregnant. Anyway, I hope that if you had a menstrual cycle disruption that you feel vindicated that it was because you had an immune response to the vaccine. and if you are a little bit pissed well then welcome to the club this was um side time with

tracy this was the woman that was um like doing reactions to people like spreading misinformation about the vaccine where she was doing like duets and she'd be like true oh no oh no that's not true no that's not true yeah um she followed me and it was the most like i know it was it was a fucking moment it like really it like lifted me for a whole week but um i just thought that that was interesting because we talk a lot about how like the medical community is like they don't don't really give like much of a fuck about people with uteruses like in terms of understanding like why they're just kind of like yep that's a thing and with the vaccine disrupting cycles even a little bit and then having so much information about both of those things like immune response and

uteruses and still not putting in like the the work and the effort to figure out what it is is just like another indication of the fact that they just do not give a fuck yeah and it also I think it also kind of touches on how little we do know like yeah we we know so little truth about how our bodies work um I listened to the maintenance phase podcast and that really opened my eyes to just like how gimmicky a lot of the health and wellness and like medical beliefs are um like from starting with like you know snake oil down to like weight loss shakes yeah yeah and there's just so much that we don't know and like so many studies that are cited that have like a tiny sample size and were done incorrectly that will be like cited and like used as fact or

truth for years yeah even if it's incorrect like the french study about like your eggs like decreasing at like an alarming rate when you hit 30 how we conduct studies if we already are walking into a study with a bias we're going to look for answers that support our bias and then tout that as a medical or scientific fact and that's just how humans are we're flawed we are flawed and like a lot of the medical community too has historically been a boys club yeah yeah they only do conduct studies on like white men yeah so like even crash test dummies crash test dummies are built like men so you can go fuck yourself if you're a woman and you get in a car crash because they haven't tested that you're probably gonna die yeah they haven't tested that for you

um and this does remind me that there was a drug that was being tested for um i think it was either like um migraines erectile dysfunction and then they found out that it also helped um like get rid of pms symptoms and cramps and like alleviate pmdd and they had the choice to market it as something to help with um premenstrual symptoms and menstrual symptoms or this other thing i think it was erectile dysfunction and they chose that even though there was already something for that it's fucking ridiculous yeah so just know i want to understand there's something that exists out there to help someone with their soft pp and not you and your agonizing pain i want to understand what their rationale is because i feel like nowadays like that shit still flies obviously

because it is still happening but like i feel like so much more rationale like oh well i right But like what they have to have a reason that they're at least at least a fake reason why they're doing that. I talked to my therapist about this recently, like especially when it comes to thinking about women's health care, like abortion and birth control rights and things like that. when you live in a patriarchal society and the people making decisions are all men these are all people who don't have to care they have the privilege of not having to care we talk about women's issues and it is shocking just like how little is done well in general with like where we're at in time as well it's just like that there's this huge movement right now that i'm seeing looking through all of the dating app stuff that i get sent of men being like i'm not getting

a vasectomy so and i was like why am i seeing so much more about vasectomies and it's because the conversation is happening where people are like oh like you're against abortions and like you should get a vasectomy and all these men are like well not double i don't i don't want to do anything about it yeah i don't want to have to get i don't want to have to get a vasectomy it's like well if you care so much about like making sure that somebody doesn't get pregnant then do something about it but they haven't ever been challenged to think about something like that because they it's it has never concerned them up until now when people are shoving it in their face yeah and I mean so often the responsibility of preventing unwanted pregnancy falls onto the

shoulders of women and it's really frustrating yeah and I don't know if you've been in a relationship like that where your partner just simply does not care I haven't it was really hard for me when i was dating shoe man yeah and like i didn't want to be on hormonal birth control because it made me miserable and he was just like a little bitch about having to use a condom so then every single piece of it of preventing pregnancy fell on to me it's so fucking unfair i was like well i guess i'd have to give it a shmush portion yeah we could keep going on about this should we wrap yeah we should wrap before we go condoms let's wrap we go down a rabbit hole yeah a rabbit hole i really i'm to wrap it up okay i become more

and more of a dad every week wrap up your peepee don't be a fool wrap up your dick wrap your tool don't be a fool wrap your tool don't be silly wrap your willy we need to make merch that says that don't be silly wrap your willy you heard it here first be a genius and wrap your penis i just made that one up that's a good one thank you I really I think that one's my favorite thank you and I love it even more that it's an Amelia original wow I'm copywriting that we're putting it on merch be a genius wrap your penis wow that might be our next merch we have so many there are so many funny little bits that you have said this episode that I'm like don't know which one is gonna be the episode title i really appreciate that you put up with me i don't put up with you

i embraced you wholeheartedly and on that note we love you our children i sort of i i held it for you i know i didn't want to drop out i felt that i started to panic because i was like oh my god she's doing it she's doing it full send You're welcome.