The Hoely Hour - E108 Sexy Minion (Derogatory)

Episode Date: October 28, 2022

Amelia and Liz rank the 5 of the worst costumes you can think of while praying for the children participating in The Devil's Favorite Holiday! (Lord knows those crazy libs love giving out their weed candies to screaming children for free!) A listener shares their virginity story, and the hostesses with the mostesses talk about their "most millennial" qualities. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

make sure that their candy isn't laced with anything because you know that those weed gummies they look like real candy welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com i look like a christian youth group leader today don't i yeah but i love it for the shoes yeah wearing like loose jeans and then this

like highlighter purple woodstock shirt and i have like a little braid crown happening with my front bangs i'm trying to grow out i really really love this now that you've pointed this out that's 100 what's going on here all right y'all we know that we love our starbucks but what we should be loving is jesus you know who's always there jesus you don't need coffee in the morning you what you need is a cup of jesus jesus in the morning right when you wake up right in bed and that's why i have the john 316 tattooed right behind my ear so it's like god's whispering in there what is tell me that what what john 316 is um thou shalt not

uh fucketh with god oh i know that one yeah that's why the christians love it yeah right i have that actually tattooed on the inside of my lip i always show the boys before i go down on them zip down their pants yeah john 316 i have i decided to get a tattoo behind my ear and my husband jed has it engraved on his gun all named jed jed jed jedediah um judd okay i was i tweeted this yesterday but that whole like um it's adam and eve not adam and steve that whole thing about like gay couples but like i was thinking about how fucking hilarious it would be if there was someone in the bible named steve just steve not even steven no just it's like ezekiel isaiah steve my buddy steve he's just

like the charity case that just kind of like just kind of like tags along i mean adam and steve would make more sense because adam would just be like and this is my buddy steve yeah we're roommates yeah yeah we're yeah roommates with benefits this is my buddy steve and he's just always like hey anyone says my buddy steve every guy's got a buddy named steve yeah i i had a theory earlier today when i was washing my dishes and my theory is that every guy is just the same guy they're just like a slightly different version of the same guy am i wrong no it's like when you put a phrase into a translator and then you translate it back to the original language it's always just like slightly different that's like every man yeah

it's like they're they're like they're just like they resemble each other translator right you can kind of figure out what it is but they're all just a little bit off like you're like something about you also reminds me of a guy that i hate but i love you so that's confusing and you all just have like a little bit of this like same i think it's this quality that is like um almost like childlike like guys have like special interests the way that like children have special interests where they like won't shut the fuck up about like leggings yeah trains they have like a phase but then like that special interest becomes like their whole personality and it reminded me of when i was wearing a pulp fiction shirt and um i know we've all worn it you just your face got so angry

frozen really love they love to talk to you about pulp fiction yes so i was at a baseball game and it's just like one of the few things i hadn't packed it was like right before it is literally the day before i moved to seattle so i'm wearing my like pulp fiction shirt because it's comfy and this kid he had to have like been like a late teenager and he definitely thought i was probably also a teenager and he walked by and he like said a line from the movie i can't remember which one and you say what again yeah i something stupid like that and um it's the one that they always and i was i just like looked at him and i was like huh because it's not like i didn't know that he was making a movie reference it's like one i forget that i'm wearing this pulp fiction

shirt and then um also you're not expecting some like exactly person like to get up in your face about what you're wearing that's the thing is like what like no matter what like it could be like a line from your own movie and somebody could yell it at you and you would still be like what's up yeah because that's jarring yeah so annoying well if you were in a movie too it's just assuming you're probably in other movies as well right and so you're like other movies other than pulp fiction yeah and that also that one line is also just like one part of like your entire experience on set anyways that is yours that's such a universal experience that where like someone is just like hey um i want to use a thing about you to talk about me yeah

like tattoos they're like oh i'm gonna talk to you about this tattoo and you're like no one wants to right talk to i don't want to tell you about my tattoos as an introduction to you telling me about yourself yeah or just like you telling me about something i don't care about but i just i know that guy came up to me because he was like i'm gonna make a reference to this movie because i bet this stupid girl doesn't know that i'm gonna they're just wearing this pulp fiction shirt and i'm a cool subversive 18 year old it's just like oh you're on a mariners game name three of the players I'm like I'm the one with the nice ass yeah like what the fuck I'm here to enjoy things let people enjoy things and sometimes that means letting me enjoy bullying online

yeah that's fair Liz you're wearing a Woodstock shirt did you even go one time I was wearing this shirt over like my summer vacation and I walked out and we were like everyone started watching this um documentary series on Woodstock 99 and I had to go make sure that this didn't say that year on here oh yeah I doubt it would because it was so atrocious but but I was like should I stop wearing this shirt damn yeah I mean there's so many things that we're not allowed to enjoy anymore because people have ruined those things stop ruining things like please yeah just just just don't please just please don't kanye ruined kanye for us r kelly ruined r kelly for us and they did that to themselves but they could have not yeah that was an option it was an option for them to

have not and then we wouldn't be where we are right now kevin spacey loved him don't anymore he ruined kevin spacey yeah but he's allowed to have a career for some reason still he is yes i He's recently cast in like three movies. Ew. I know. Boo. Anyway. Anyway, this is the pre-Halloween episode.

Oh, shit. So I have a little game. Oh, I'm thrilled. But also, I don't practice Halloween as a Christian youth group leader. It is the devil's holiday. Yeah. And I will personally be praying all evening for the rest of you and your children. i make sure that their candy isn't laced with anything because you know that those weed gummies

they look like real candy damn i got high as hell the other day and it was a complete accident i thought i was just eating some of my husband's chocolates did you ever go to those houses that like would give out like little packets of apples um i feel like i i feel like i probably had that experience or like a toothbrush what yeah like you fucking heathens and it wasn't like oh shit i don't have anything um like here you go it was like they had a whole bowl of like sliced apples think about how like don't do that phobic that generation is though that's so fucking true they're like sugar makes you fat that was like also 90s which was the peak of like anorexia diet yeah well i wouldn't say it's a peak of anorexia but i feel like it was like the

it really kicked things off the 90s it really did did you know like i would say the peak was like 2000s era really for anorexia when was friends because i know like monica and rachel were like big like leaders of like the anorexia movement and that was like the biggest show yeah they were both like publicly anorexic for a while yeah jesus super fricked that but also that was like the time where like there's just so much diet food it was like regular food is bad for you and that's why you need to eat this processed chemical induced food yes yeah and then it tasted weird do you hear that that sound right that means that summer's officially here it means that grown adults just sprint into the street for a frozen dessert shaped like a cartoon

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sleep number store today because we have your number okay my game yeah hit me I need to tell you before I we play this game this game came to me in a dream literally last night yeah I had a dream that we played this exact thing and so we're gonna play did you just make up this game no oh well kind of i mean i made up this version of the game so you know those things where people are like rating these things one to five without knowing what the next thing is and you have to like decide where you place it on like from one to five without knowing what's coming next so like your favorite beers oh oh okay oh rainier i'm gonna put it out of three because i don't know what's coming next you know you remember that yes i do like that i made a version

um halloween costumes bad halloween costumes amazing you have to put them one is your favorite okay and five is your least favorite um without knowing what is coming next i am so excited you know how much i love costumes and yeah you know how much i love costumes you made this you just for me in a dream nonetheless in a dream and subconscious subconsciously i'm always thinking of you i i can never leave me i won't okay all right it's impossible you ready yes these are all real costumes that i found on the internet okay okay i'm thrilled the first one rim reaper it's like the grim reaper but a butthole um the grim reaper but butthole like kills assholes

i'm gonna go five actually wow that's bold you don't know what's coming up that's fair but i i have to suffer with the consequences of my actions all right five is taken second one a giant foot a giant foot oh wow i'm gonna have to go with two i actually really like that that is so fucking weird i would have no choice but to laugh okay okay that's fair giant foot okay what if i had a little toe ring on it be kind of cute yeah like foot tattoo like a little like yeah i get like a little dolphin like tattoo yeah and then like a toe ring and like a nice mani or petty nice petty okay that is like foot fetish content right there hell yeah okay no no i'm into i am i'm into that being too i think that you made a good decision

today thank you thank you okay the next one a pussy magnet it's just a big magnet with a bunch of cats on it hmm four nice because like like the concept i guess is clever but like any guy who's like i'm gonna be a pussy magnet i would be like like it i would have a visceral reaction yeah absolutely and then i would make sure that man isn't like slipping stuff in anyone's drinks all night that's true if i was in college i would cause a scene and have them kicked out by the three fraternity boys i know what what if it was like a really like nerdy guy that was just like very benign no that would i i just like i don't know anyone who if they wore that that i would be like this is okay you know i would be like oh i need to re-evaluate the kind of person you are

damn if you hadn't given now i'm like shit i wish it was number i was gonna say i was about to ask if you hadn't given rim reaper a five would that be a number five i think like aesthetically i would still have to put rim reaper as five okay um but for concept the pussy bag that would be five because there's there's just something about it that gives me the egg yeah that's fair okay dope all right you have one and three are up for grabs okay you got two more i'm excited i think we'll fill them both obviously we have to but a sexy minion but not in like an ironic funny way like it's just like a literal costume of like a sexy minion like how people dress as like a sexy cat

i do think that would be fucking hilarious and i can't know what my third option is or my number three honestly i'm gonna go number one with this damn all right see minion i will tell you because I actually think that would be pretty funny even if it's not ironic hilarious I agree okay but it was like a really cringy costume I wish I got pictures oh I want to see it it was like you know how like the models for these like bags of costumes always have like big boobs and they're always like like yeah really feeling themselves in the pictures it was that in a in a sexy minion costume that is so funny it was really it was bad and I was I was thinking like what if I dressed up as sexy kirby so i was thinking it would be funny if it was like a costume that went

over my head so just like my whole torso is the big round kirby and then my legs are just long and like i'm wearing like big stripper heels and fishnets that would be hell yeah and maybe like maybe like a yassified kirby like big lashes like blush lips contour that would be so fun hell yeah yassified sexy kirby you gotta do it next year i'm holding you that will be i don't know i'll be able to find a costume to like make you have a year to make one see listen that's a big commitment i'm holding you to it on the on a public podcast uh that's a lot of work okay and no one's gonna pay me for it so that's true well you don't know maybe i'll go viral start like an only fans for your kirby costume that would be amazing just like different poses

would you smash your pass sexy kirby smash it's the only appropriate answer yeah um okay you know what they play in high school like these high school kids now are kiss or slap instead of kiss or slap yeah isn't that adorable good yeah kiss or slap y'all are children i think that that's have you seen the tiktoks of people being like hey who do you think is the most attractive kid in our class yeah and then i go up to that guy yeah i love it i was so invested in that me too i've watched so many of them i've been watching like high school girl drama like right sometimes it shows up on my for you page and i was like what i'm 30 but i am invested yeah They are like, well, I'm 31 now.

Ruthless. Like they are like, one of the girls was like doing a stitch with one of like the girls that she has beef with. And she's like, she started out with like, first of all, if you need somebody to, if you need me to refer you to someone to fix your roots, I got you. I saw that. Oh my God. That was like really spicy drama.

There were like videos. She came with like receipts. I know. Okay. Sorry. We have one more. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. And it's your number three. Yeah. Hit me. This is a literal costume that I found. again i'm reminding you an actual costume and it's very problematic sexy girl scout oh doesn't that fucking suck yeah that's on multiple websites i think we need to we needed to change it to um sexy woman scout hell yeah hell yeah that's what they should just call it sexy woman scout yeah

hello sexy woman cookie seller yes i love those like alternative names for like all of these like pop culture characters it's so fucking funny spirit halloween is not fucking around no they're they're they know what they're doing needs a raise yeah absolutely i do have to say this the concept of sexy girl scout is weird fucked up like you said not only just the word girl but also it's just like something so innocent yeah and you're like sexualizing it yes i mean i guess you're doing that with minions but minions aren't they're not children yeah they're not people they're not they're not children they've always existed as far as we know yeah they're ancient beings they came out of the minion womb as adults that's science askrew um cool i think

you did a good job here today thank you i can't wait for you to show me the sexy minion picture because now i'm fully invested i'm gonna pull it up now because i have my computer on my lap i love it it's so help us all well i like that it's they're posed like that you know like unironically like i'm gonna be such a hot minion i like i can't believe because you know the girl that is buying that is fucking funny oh yeah you know the girl who's dressing up as a sexy minion has a fucking great sense of humor absolutely like the models are really taking their job seriously yeah they're like trying their hardest to make this minion costume look hot but girl i feel like too much they made her pose naked and they just like photoshopped it on that's actually

exactly what it looks like that is oh my you actually might be right they they just like put her in like a jumpsuit and then whatever i'm sure super imposed i'm sure those there's so many costumes that are that same shape absolutely like a different print on the front yeah i mean they're not going to pay for a model every time they're like you know paying people like 10 cents an hour to like make these spirit halloween didn't have the copywriter that they have now no that's so true making up amazing costume names speaking of 10 cents an hour did you see that like sheen like insider video oh my god the conditions at that place if you're listening stop buying sheen we've all done it i've done it i i've been seeing um like videos that talk about like

they have like a really high amount of like lead oh is that what it is yeah i was like i know it's some chemical it's super fucked gross yeah yeah that's horrible i mean just the conditions there are i mean we knew that it was bad yeah any fast fashion but like somebody finally got like a hidden camera in and like i also just want to say like buying shit like that is just such a terrible investment too yeah it's cheap but it doesn't last yeah it's not gonna last and then it ends up in a landfill and like it doesn't women's trends like turn over so quickly that i think it's like not even worth being like what's the hottest trend now because i also feel like it's a capitalist scam yes to be like we need women to be spending more and more money yeah and we need

to keep moving the goalposts constantly because the fashion industry needs to stay profitable and that's why you should just pick a style that like will be um timeless a little bit like maybe the shape is timeless but the like you can tailor it to like your own personality yeah if that makes sense i know that sounds kind of stupid you're like yeah bitch that's just like wearing clothes and having interests well but i do feel like people are always like trying to just like follow the next trend and like the like the biggest thing at the moment and and i i mean like i not until recently I didn't really feel like I knew what my style was or like what I liked on my body I was just like oh that looks cute on this person who doesn't have the same shape as me at all yeah

I'm gonna buy it and then it doesn't look the same on me and then I'm confused I was like well they look cute like I bought the same outfit yeah that's not how anything works yeah that's not how any of that works yeah liz it's it's really like i mean i i stopped trying to figure out so long ago because like for a while the trends that everybody was wearing looked so bad on my body type especially like in middle school like when like it really really mattered that you were wearing what everyone else was wearing yeah um a bodycon skirt and a business casual sheer top yeah well like there were um soapy shorts oh yeah not good for my body type because like my like where my hips are is where they would need to sit and so they would always like

just kind of like jump up but during the most anorexic time of existence it was not good yeah being a girl with a butt wasn't cool yet yeah yeah they had um they we've talked about this on the podcast before solo pants s-o-l-o-w those were like not for my body type and everybody was wearing them so anyway say this all all to say like at a very young age i was just like i'm not gonna try to fit in nothing like i don't like how any of this shit looks on me like i'm doing it to fit in and people are making fun of me so i'm not gonna do it it's so weird like haha you have a big ass yeah i know but then it's like well no one's complaining about it yeah i know times have really really changed can you imagine someone being like look at your giant tits like

yeah yeah no one's had anything bad to say about it so it's gonna keep doing most people are just happy to be there right yeah i think like most guys are gonna be like fuck yeah she's this big ass you're right but that used to not be the case because what we were being fed for so long was like you know if you're not like stick thin and like if you're not like just then you're not pretty and now there's like all of this like different i mean obviously there are so many body types that like still aren't getting accepted um but it's a much wider range than it was when i was in middle school at least i also think middle schoolers are just like they're fucking stupid they're so mean yeah and you all smell bad i know there's no middle schoolers listening to this and

they shouldn't be but you all smell terrible yeah tell your middle school family that we said yeah yeah get some deodorant i said it and go to therapy start young i did i still cry a lot but i'm glad i did yeah you'll be better at talking about your family you know what maybe their parents are of a generation that are better at being parents yeah but they're the one thing that good parenting can't change is like middle schoolers suck yeah that's so fucking real it doesn't matter what kind of parent you are you're a middle school kid it's gonna be the bane of your existence for like a good three years so my parents got so lucky with me i never went through like a shitty phase i was always so nice to everybody what if you're you just always were

in a shitty phase and they don't want to tell you okay i actually think no no i actually think about that all the time because like i remember like back in middle school i was like i don't think i'm ever gonna have an awkward phase and then i look at pictures from that era i'm like bitch you were in it that was the awkward yeah yikes but good for you for being like confident my awkward phase was just like my body looked just kind of like a um like a tube of cookie dough because my like weight hadn't really distributed oh like you know when right before you get hips but you're like getting all the fat yeah like that is about to be distributed like in the rest of your body it's just like kind of all one awkward flat that's amazing round tube and

a terrible haircut on top oh yeah and then and then suddenly like i yeah i just remember like having weird growing pains of like oh now i have like hips kind of right yeah i know that's it they're like the growing pains a waste the physical and emotional growing pains of growing yeah and then everyone telling you to cover up your body and you're like I don't even know what it looks like to on my own yeah oh my god why are you looking at it I don't even want to look at it the first day of sixth grade I wore Sophie shorts and a um oh my god what was the the monkey shirt Paul oh yeah Paul Frank Paul Frank I was wearing a Paul Frank tank top that is the ideal sixth great outfit yeah and i got in trouble because oh because your butt yeah because i was like i

wasn't covering enough and that was like what i still wasn't eating because i was like still afraid of food and then that was also the year that i got on like stomach medication to like make me want to eat and so i gained weight i got in trouble that first day and then i gained was it because your shorts were too short yeah and my take i was wearing a taita i like i like struck out twice in the outfit yeah i would have gotten i would have gotten a slap on the wrist yeah but dress coded yeah and then they make you wear like an ugly school shirt they turned me into like an example that day because they were like it's everyone's first day and this is exactly what you shouldn't wear it was like much nicer than that but that was what they were saying

and um later on in the year because i had gained weight i was like i wish that i would have not listened and wore that more often because like i was so skinny and as a sixth grader that's not even a thought i had that's so sad it's so sad it's like we should do a full episode where we talk more about our experiences like in our bodies during that time oh yeah because i think it's more universal than yeah i think it is very i think unfortunately it's so common that like we grow up and learn to police how we look and like please our bodies and like do all this crazy shit to be skinny and like being thin is not a marker of health or what kind of person you are or beauty and we know that now but like that doesn't mean that like fat phobia still doesn't

exist right and you still don't have like those intrusive habits that make you want to like feel bad about eating yes you know i have to say i know i've brought up maintenance phase several times on this podcast before but like maintenance phase has been the best thing that i've listened to that has like changed a lot of how i like think and feel and what i know about like eating and dieting eating has always been such an event at home for me like we always ate dinner together every night and like my mom would like make people feel welcome in our house giving them food and like i don't it's just the idea that i have had like a fraught relationship with food at all is like whenever i think about those times i'm always so fucking sad during those times obviously

because there's something going on that i'm restricting so young and i was so young but food makes me so happy so when i'm like not allowing myself to enjoy that like i start feeling it in like other arenas of my life anyway we should really have a conversation like a whole episode about this because I think we should it runs deep and like I also think it's I mean it'll always be somewhat of a relevant conversation but I think especially now because like people our age like millennials are like pushing back really hard on this kind of like uptick in that early 2000s like way too skinny super low rise like fashion trend i would you call like being way too thin a fashion trend yeah absolutely i feel like it's coming back you know the

kardashians got their bbls removes like it's it's in the wind yeah we can sense the eating disorders arising yeah so i think it's worth talking about and still pushing back against definitely and like taylor swift's music video did you watch anti-hero i watched it last night because people kept talking to me about it but she like stood on the scale and it said fat and that's that sparked a whole conversation about fat phobia and like in somebody's like that is so thin like allowed to use that word and like that i haven't read any of the articles so i can't have an opinion on it but like that conversation people kept saying like internalized fat phobia a lot and then i was i'm like it also doesn't need to be that deep it's just like people

are allowed to talk about their own experience and you're not going to be represented in their own experience and she's been very open about having an eating disorder too and also being fat isn't a bad thing so i think that's why like maybe there is a little bit of blowback but like you can't share your experience while censoring it if that makes sense yeah absolutely should we read a review oh yeah okay review time after we um talked about y'all leaving us super cute super nice reviews which by the way helps us a lot it's not just so we can like stroke our own ego truly it actually helps so much having reviews on apple podcasts and we love stroking our own egos that also is like a byproduct but it does help and y'all are so fucking nice to us so we decided we

want to read a review every week and we got a new one this person's name is tomato bisque so i think you were right you took this out of last episode but liz thinks that they replace nick the usernames on apple reviews and i think you're right yeah i think they just give them random names which doesn't make a lot of sense just don't give them a name well okay mine was glitter dragon nails but I can see me making that for myself. So I don't know. Yeah, maybe you did put your name as Tomato Bisc, regardless. Hello, Tomato Bisc.

Thank you so much. It was five stars. The subject line is, love these two. These two are the friends I wish I met in college. I love hearing them every week. Their takes are always honest and well-reasoned, and they give good advice. Very funny, and I'll have to admit, I'm living a little vicariously through them. I wonder in what way.

like you i can see well hopefully not all the ways because there's like a whole lot of sad shit going on here too we're both we're both sad yeah we were um we were with the guest this weekend and for liz's birthday it was me liz mr liz and the guest and liz and i were just like talking like we always do and the guest was like this is like seeing a podcast like the podcast in real life and it's like well it's yeah that makes sense because we just this is just how we talk yeah mr liz was like the guest reminded me of like how cool you are like when he brought up the podcast and and i was like well what do you mean he's like i don't know i forget that like you do that sometimes and like it's so cool to like remember that you guys have this podcast and

like it does well hell yeah brother hell yeah hell yeah thanks mr liz and thank you to the Yes, for reminding Mr. Liz that he has a catch. Damn. Because not that he needs a reminder. No, but it is always nice to have somebody remind you. He was the star of my birthday, I would say. Oh, yeah. He was a hit.

He was the star of the show, everyone. He was dressed up like Lurch. And he played bartender. And he happily played bartender. He made some good-ass drinks. I picked out drinks from this spooky cocktail book. And he bought all the ingredients, so I didn't have to. and that was that saved me a lot of stress that was a one of the biggest birthday gifts was just

saving me some time and stress it's truly so kind um and then he was just playing bartender making everyone these drinks he was truly happily doing it like he offered me a drink he was like well this is what liz is drinking this is what i'm drinking like what are you in the mood for and i said i wanted what you were drinking and he like i was like but i can make it if you and he was like no no he was like went off and did it i was like okay look at you go bartender boyfriend i love that well do you want to read a letter yeah buckle up no it doesn't start like that that's just me buckle up bitches i lost my virginity no uh the title is lost my virginity last night and some questions hi amelia and liz apology in advance for this novel that is

this is going to be long time listener first time caller last night 20 i 23 male he him bisexual lost my virginity mazel tov whoo i hooked up with a woman from tinder 22 female she her straight i picked her up around 10 p.m and we went back to my place watched a show made out also a first for me i grew up mormon it's a long story that makes sense yeah why it might be a long story um and then moved to the bedroom we spooned for a few minutes then clothes came off and we started having sex don't worry we used protection my question is this she came twice and i didn't finish at all to be clear i don't hold that against her or anything i had a great time i'm just wondering if that's normal since

the stereotype is that guys finish in 30 seconds and we want and we we went at it for maybe 30 minutes after we had sex we just laid in my bed cuddling and chatting for an hour or two and then she asked me to drive her home i feel like we had a really good night i feel like i felt like we really clicked even when we were just chatting in my car before we ever even got to my place overall it was a really good experience that gave me a lot of confidence to be honest it was the first time I've ever felt attractive kind of made me rethink how I think about myself love that for you I had a couple questions at one point I was fingering her and it kind of seemed like I hurt her I apologized immediately of course and we got back to it after I'm just wondering what did I do

wrong I had two fingers in her doing the come hither sort of motion did I maybe hit something or something how do i not do that again so what i think is his nails were too long yeah and also if you have like if your cuticles are dry that can be painful yeah or it could have been like too hooked yeah to come hither yeah to come hither and less of like a flat kind of come hither yes you know what i mean absolutely i'm doing it on video i mean good yeah let's blur this out if you're just listening just imagine um but i think like there's so many things that it could be like she could have an iud because like that shit could like hurt if you hit it like a little also like depending on where she is in her cycle yeah her cervix could be lower

and i don't know yeah i mean i don't know how to know that or sometimes like every the inside of every vagina is going to be a little different you know yeah and then their second question is is it weird that i didn't finish and like i don't think so like it's your first time having sex you're trying to like especially if it's your first time having sex and you're like in your 20s like you're just a little bit more aware of your surroundings than you are if you're like a stupid teenager um so i feel like yeah you're just like somewhat more aware of like what's going on and trying to take everything in like the nerves going yeah it's your first time like that makes a lot of sense that you wouldn't I think the stereotype is like you come so fast on your

first time but it's like not always sometimes you're in your head it also doesn't sound like I mean I would not to speak on behalf of like straight men um but they do it for everyone else all the time so but I would say like also like when you're younger especially if you're like a teenager when you are first having sex like you're only doing it to pleasure yourself whereas this it sounds like he was really interested in hitting it off with this person right you made her come twice it just kind of happened you made her come two times during your first losing your virginity you made her come twice it seems like his intent wasn't to go lose his virginity you know it was just like this date was going well and they hit it off and hooked up and you made

her come twice yeah that's you know how many you know how often somebody that i've had sex with that has had sex a lot of times have has made me come twice not very often not very often i could say never so go you um i did tell her that it was my first time but it was during alolan's sex rather than before i wasn't actively trying to hide it or anything i was just in the moment and forgot to mention it she was surprised to hear it probably more because it was a tinder hookup than because of my incredible sex skills lol and offhandedly said it was said it explained some things i assumed she meant that explained why i hadn't finished also full disclosure i did masturbate that morning so that may have had something to do with it does that sound like

what she meant to you i wouldn't think so i would think like i'm like context is everything so we weren't there to like know if that's what she meant like maybe the fingering did hurt her and that's what she was thinking yeah i mean like yeah context is important but also like that might like it was your first time having sex like you're it you might not have been great at it but also this person might have had sex with a lot of men that have had like you know that they've had bad sex and she may she would probably say the same thing to them you know like I don't know like I think that there are things that people say that they don't like fully mean to like ease the awkwardness of the situation yeah i mean if you're like if it's a lull during sex and not like

before yeah that would be something that would catch me off guard and i wouldn't know what to say so yeah oh yeah okay that makes sense it's just like something or that explains that explains it like it's okay it's okay if she meant that you seemed like you didn't know what you were doing because you didn't like that's the reality of it you're gonna get better as you do it but like also that's not a dig or anything no um and i also don't think it had to do anything with like if you didn't come what's the etiquette with talking to someone after a hookup beforehand we had only discussed it as a hookup but neither of us mentioned it exclusively being a hookup if that makes sense i'm going to message her this morning just to say i had a great time and i'd

love to see her again if she's interested just wondering what the general etiquette is i think that's fair i think that's a good etiquette personally like i love having a good debrief after sex like i like yeah i like to have a highlights reel uh-huh like to be like what did you like the most yeah because i i want to know what i did well um because i love praise praise no i want to know what they liked so i can do more of it yeah and then i also like talking about what i liked yeah so they can do more totally i think so i love being just i don't know or like um what could have happened differently like i don't or like what should we try next time um so i just love having a little conversation after and like i don't think it's

weird to talk about it because you just like had penetrative sex yeah you were just inside someone if you just saw someone naked and had sex with them i think it's okay to be like um what is like what kind of stuff like do you like doing or having done to you like since this was my first time blah blah yeah i mean i think that like this question how i understood it was like the whole there's this like media like thing that like we all have in our heads of like the two-day rule like don't reach out to them first and if you do wait two days because it's like you don't want to like look too clingy or like that shit's boring it's so fucking boring i think it feels good to be excited about someone yeah totally and like you know it's i understand too like the well i don't

want to look too clingy like I don't want to like look you know if we talked about it being exclusively a hookup like is that is it just going to end there like I understand that confusion but like I I am always err on the side of like doing whatever gives you the most peace and you're very clearly respectful of like her boundaries like you've at least multiple times in this email we only obviously have this email to go off of but multiple times in this email like I feel like you've made it clear that you respect this person so like that's going to come across it's not like you're going to be like showing up outside of her window and be like hang out with me again just like reach out and like whatever feels good feels good and you're not trying to hang out with

her because you had sex no you know yeah um but then he ends to say i also just wanted to say how much i appreciate the two of you i've been listening to your podcast for maybe eight months and i love hearing your stories and advice you've gone a long way towards normalizing casual sex as well as therapy which i'm working on starting and i can't thank you enough oh thank you good for you you for sharing your story with us mazel tov on losing your virginity and um not being afraid to ask questions and i i honestly think like anytime you have sex with a new person or even someone that you've already been like having sex with yeah like i love having a good conversation after yes absolutely like because what once you know them better it's more of like a fun little

highlights reel but at the beginning it's like well what do you like i think i might like to try this like yeah it's just a good time to talk about it and yeah i don't know do you like having pillow talk absolutely it's just fun recently when when i've been having sex i just like want to take a shower and go to sleep after because i think i'm getting old i mean sometimes when like the only time you have is late at night and you're already tired uh liz i had sex on my kitchen floor a couple of nights ago that was it sounds a little cold it was a cold no no it was i guess if you're like already like hot and like things are ramping up it might feel kind of nice it was like it wasn't one of those things like we should fuck on the kitchen floor it just like happened

remarkable that i haven't had unplanned sex in so long it's it could be it's fun i miss it but then also i'm like do i when you're in a relationship for a while i think unplanned sex is always like rare i think that that's the case for everyone i mean or almost everyone like now it's like we talk about it and we plan it and whatever right but then like before that in past relationships it wasn't a conversation it was just kind of like uh feel how you feel yeah you you're gonna try and make a move and in some ways i prefer talking about it because then you feel free to have physical intimacy without the expectation of sex and i love that it feels so nice to just like like be able to make out and like neither of you are anxious about like uh

are they gonna try and have sex because i don't want to someone kissing you just to kiss you is like the best feeling yeah and just like hugging and snuggling and whatever and there's no expectation to have sex but then you miss the excitement of like being in the moment and like you're like oh we're just both on the same page and like getting ramped up and unbothered together so i get that i wonder if there's like a middle ground i'm sure there is i don't know what it is yet it's like also kind of like a grass is always greener situation with everything in relationships i think there just needs everyone's different too so i think it's just kind of like a one man's trash a team effort of figuring it out together amen so anyway thank you for writing yeah thank

you um we're gonna end with a fun question that i wanted to ask amelia which is what is the most millennial thing about you there's so many things a few things that i've mentioned in the past like saying like doggo and burb hate that hate that about me i hate i love the word burb burb it's funny i prefer to write it versus say it see i don't really know like what is millennial versus what's gen z now because like i feel out of touch but then sometimes i'm like no i am a cool mom no you know what darn i'm a cool mom gosh darn it i can hang with the youths um i think like complaining about like my joints hurting your body aging is the most millennial thing about you when liz first lobbed me this question um as a little heads up i said my my um adderall intake

is the most millennial thing about me i think that's gen z you think so i i do i guess we're kind of like the ritalin era like before people started to like i mean question like gen z is now like diagnosing themselves that's so true so i think that's a little like oh i do math a certain way add um no go to a doctor i think can i say what i think the most millennial thing about you is about me yeah i'm so scared okay um i think it's how much you love dogs is that a millennial thing is that i think it's i don't think it's chewy but i think it's like a really like millennial thing to be like I really love this one thing that's so you know yeah yeah like I love pizza or like I love dogs that's so funny I think well I thought it I thought this question because I saw

your laptop with all the stickers on it and I recently saw someone like say like you could like millennials are afraid to put stickers on their laptop like oh and um it was it was funny how they described it and I felt the same I saw I had like a visceral feeling when I saw all the stickers on your laptop because I was like like it's like how my mom treats seeing my tattoos like oh my god that's that's permanent on like this thing that was so expensive oh my god yeah no honestly I kind of had that same reaction when I put the first one on um it took me fucking forever to put any stickers on my water bottle like i've got nuts that's how that's a good one there's a ted uh what's his last name ted cruz yeah uh there's a ted cruz

sticker that says this man ate my son on amelia it makes me a lot every time i'm so happy i didn't put it on my car because i almost did that's i honestly i think you should have that would have been funny this is our friend's record store who hosted liz's party it's black black noise records if you're ever in bellingham hit up black noise records um this is the plant shop i want to bring you to oh okay next time you're in my neck of the woods we got to go to peace love and happiness club love too okay wait what do you think is the most millennial thing about me well i was gonna ask what you think the most millennial thing about you is before i answer um i mean this the sticker thing is just something that stood out to me about myself right now um i have to think

i have to think i'm gonna think about my most millennial trait i'm sure i have many i was gonna say your plants uh it's either the plants um or possibly like i could also see it being like my cats big cat lady um and just like anxiety being like a personality trait that is kind of a millennial thing yeah like i'm anxious like we're all fucking anxious everyone is anxious the boomers did that to us yeah there's and they're anxious too okay there is not a single person in your generation of life yeah that has not had anxiety it's just like we're the everyone has anxiety i have yet to meet one person who doesn't have anxiety right we're just the we're the first generation to embrace it and go to therapy like that's that's a very millennial

thing because like gen x and and boomers like are very historically anti yeah they think there's so much stigma wrong with you yeah but it's because they're like if if my child needs help and what happened to them was wrong then what happened to me is wrong and i'm not ready to accept that what happened to me was wrong should we make next week eating disorder yes um well next week next week we'll just say it now it'll be some heavy hitter topics with like body image and um eating disorders and generational trauma and therapy oh it's gonna be a good one folks oh man am i am i ready to talk about my childhood trauma am i i don't yeah god talk about my eating disorders it also feels like you're like are these things like big enough for me to talk about but i think

they are absolutely like i was able to like understand my own experiences because someone else talked about theirs that's i think that when i went to my therapist and i was like reading the long ass text i sent you oh yeah like hell yeah it's i think that it's another very millennial trait to like play down our own experiences because they're not as bad as other people's when in reality it's a spectrum and like people that have experienced very traumatic things aren't looking at like people with less trauma and being like that's not that's nothing i also think what i've noticed the the biggest difference between older millennials and younger millennials is older millennials still are holding a lot of like those shitty mindsets of like traditional

households that they end up projecting onto like gen z yeah of like well you didn't like listen to the rules and you behaved badly so that's why you're punished yeah like obviously things aren't that black and white like they're only focusing on their own trauma and not like applying it to like oh other people have trauma too right whereas i think the difference with younger millennials is like they're sure we're still not gonna like stand up for ourselves as much but we'll like defend gen z yeah to be like leave them alone let them go to therapy like fucking that's so real we're the ones like trying to shield them from like the shit we had to deal with oh my god wait hold on i know that we're like trying to wrap doing the right thing but that just reminded me i just

watched the barney documentary on hulu have you heard of this it's called i love you you hate me and it's like the story of like the rise and fall of barney and it's actually fascinating because it talks a lot about like the time then like the 90s early 2000s me too but how that was like the era of like nirvana and like anarchy and beavis and butthead and like not giving a fuck and like then there was barney who was like so pure and like had had nothing going on except for like love and barney bashing was a thing people that were like playing barney and shopping malls to like take pictures with kids were getting beat up what the fuck and like people there was like a bunch of clubs started by like parents to like get barney taken down because it was like so

annoying to them to have to listen to all the time there was like a whole lot of shit but it was a result of the era that we were in you should watch this documentary about how much i loved barney as a kid and like anytime i got sick it didn't matter the time of year i would make my parents turn on um the barney christmas movie because they sang songs and like it was like a whole cute little plot line and i would just watch it anytime i was sick over and over again it was just the best the most feel-good show the woman that started it um Cheryl Leach created it for her son and he ended up like he was like grew up and was not he did not have a good how do I word this he he ran into some trouble later in life and they talked about how like

having that show attached to your name when there was like so much hate around it during the time can like really fuck someone up it's it is such an and you have to watch it it's two parts that is fascinating and also makes me so sad like there's a person in that costume yeah making minimum wage it was a it was a mime in the costume and somebody else did the voice oh that's funny isn't that interesting yeah it was you have you have to watch it especially since you liked barney i loved barney um and then when i got too high my senior year of high school the summer going into college i got too high and my friend put on barney for me to calm down i love that and i did i watched barney for like two hours i might do that later it's pretty great you know demi lovato

and selena gomez were on at the same time that's like uh the mousketeers of our time is barney kids oh my god true well i think that's a good place to rap raparoo we need to have like some kind of um barney takeaway lesson here well everyone i think what we've learned today is what did we talk about um don't don't dress as a rim reaper we talked about halloween costumes and someone losing their virginity and it's okay if you don't know what you're doing the first time you have sex none of us did just communicate with your partner oh we're bringing in disney jesus it's a crossover event i don't know what just came over my body all right well we love you i was like does she even need me for this she's just

no you like you threw in some beautiful i don't know what that's called i carry with it yeah nick cannon just um announced his 12th kid goodbye