The Hoely Hour - E115 The Phil of YOUR Future

Episode Date: December 17, 2022

What do you think the confetti of orgasms are? Because we have some ideas. Amelia shares the details of her DM history with THE Phil of the Future, a woman on the internet thought her boyfriend was cheating on her but what she found out was actually... so much worse. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

the best friend's name is also josh wow that made it easy for her josh hopping yeah just joshing welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com i did i remembered something i wanted to talk about last week but forgot fuck yes so last week I finally like did the thing and hired a cleaner because you know if

you're depressed and things are just piling up it is really helpful to have someone come do like the little stuff like it also forced me to put away all my things because I wanted her to be able to like actually clean and not have to like move all my shit around so that's been really nice and i've been trying to maintain it but uh i realized i had forgotten to put away um a a certain toy box that mr liz and i use so it's like full of like it has rope and condoms and uh just shit like that I think there's a flogger in there which is like all of that's such very obvious what it's for and then she had just pushed it under my bed and both Amelia and Mr. Liz were like she's probably seen worse and I'm like I was thinking like but what if she hasn't you know

was it open uh it was more open than when she had put it under my bed you know oh yeah but like also i'm certain because she cleans so many bedrooms like liz and i have the same cleaner and i was thinking after you told me about that last week like she was organizing underneath my counters and i have like all of my vibrators in like a clear box like all of them just chilling under so she's like i'm sure that she just comes across this shit all the time but i would love to hear from a house cleaner yeah what the best like the the best thing they've ever stumbled across i want to know like just what is the craziest shit you've seen maybe i'm gonna have to post on like ask reddit or something it probably is already an ask reddit i just like i'm sure that

there are people that have like whole like red rooms that cleaners have seen fair would you clean uh like a sex dungeon how much are you paying me i mean you set the rates baby it also kind of depends on who the people are you know and like what level of like i feel like most people who have a sex dungeon are probably pretty like uh hygienic about it yeah like very aware of like just you know the consequences of sex or not even the consequences like squirt that that's just uh i hate saying that word squirt that's also just like a that's like a bodily fluid so yeah that that's a moment for celebration versus just like the the consequences of yeah right it's like the confetti of sex true squirt is the confetti of sex that is probably the best

description i've ever heard squirt the confetti of sex or the confetti of orgasms oh yeah confetti of orgasm yeah that's true it doesn't have to be sex um if if squirt is the confetti of orgasms then what is semen cum it's the icing the icing of sex if we're like using the party i feel like it's like the glitter of sex like it gets everywhere that's true and like it's hard to get out yeah it gets in your hair and then it's just stuck there yeah you're like neck will stay sticky for like a few days you're like this was fun and now i now i'm regretting it a little bit right because it's such a mess right yeah that's so true it is the glitter of sex that's so true people say herpes is the glitter of sex no do they semen yeah they're like because it's just

like glitter you can't get rid of it like okie dokie but it's come so let the record show speaking of sex i have a question for you oh a sex question on our sex podcast yeah intriguing i know i'm listening once in a lifetime opportunity um the guy that i'm seeing actually asked me this question it's been in my notes for forever um in terms of you know how people are like oh what do you call like penises in bed like dick or cock or you know and like we were talking about he asked me would i rather be stuffed or filled if i had to choose one oh you have to choose one yeah life or death i hate i hate stuffed because that just makes me think of a turkey and if you watch big mouth you know one of the characters fucks a turkey yeah fucks a a thanksgiving turkey is it the

one that flexes pillow yes jay that's the only episode i saw honestly that's the only one you need to see yeah um so i guess i'm gonna have to go with filled okay like but let's also think of other things that are that okay so stuffed we got turkeys obviously i want to think of other things that also are named this so then we can kind of come up with like a pros and cons list like what which one do you want to fall over like stuffed animal yeah there's a stuffed animal there's like stuffed turkey there's double stuffed oreos um uh i that kind of like covers it because like there's like about like pizza stuffed crust yeah the stuffed crust oh maybe i do want to be a stuffed um

yeah probably not stuffed and then filling what has filling oreos but like the oreo filling yeah do they call it that yeah yeah that's true um donuts donuts can be filled true teeth oh filling in your teeth and that one's not as exciting as the other ones um i just keep thinking about like candy that has like filling gas stations they're called filling stations some places um i think i'm gonna stick with filled because when you said donut i was like i'm all in you want to be filled see i think i would rather be stuffed what uh what's the appeal in terms of like when you're being like talked dirty to i'm gonna stuff my dick in you or like i'm gonna like i'm gonna what how how does i like i don't know it's actually no matter what

actually like when someone's like you want to fill you up that's also kind of hot so i don't know i prefer that because i can't think of like a scenario where i would where the word stuffed wouldn't give me the ick i just like i'm gonna stuff this dick inside of me that's the only thing i can think of i you know i i think are you ready to get stuffed like do you want to be do you want to be fucking stuffed now the word stuffed doesn't mean anything to me you're just filled because there's stuff like stuff just anything i think that phil is gross to me because like the because of the name phil no yeah phil of the future and met a philip um speaking of phil have i told my my raviv allman story on this podcast about phil is that the name

of phil of the future yeah well his name was ricky allman but he changed it to be more palatable wait it was ricky ullman and now what is it raviv is his like actual name he's jewish but he changed it to ricky ullman for disney raviv was always better absolutely yeah okay absolutely no you haven't told me this story we'll circle back to that okay but filled like the the action of come coming out of a dick is gross to me like when i think about it because it's like warm and like the speed at which it shoots is just like like the consistency of cum i don't like it consistency so it's like filled just feels like i'm being filled with cum and like if y'all have been listening you know that i like being cream pied i don't think you have ever you have never

explicitly said on this podcast once but we were talking about what what like it's not being came inside of cream pied is like an awful way to say it yeah that's the porny way to say it cream pied but just like when i think about like the consistency of cum is like not it so anyway that's why i want to say stuffed but then i think about it in terms of like sexting and filled is more palatable now i'm just thinking about penises coming and that and also like you don't know if it's gonna if they're gonna be a shooter or a dribbler a dribbler yeah you've never seen that like pre-cum but like not it doesn't always like shoot out every time it's shot out for in in my sexual experiences that's scary yeah

it always like hits the back that's why i don't like when guys come in my mouth because it hits the back of my throat at a speed i'm just like it's like a oh that scared the cats it scared me too bitch oh my god okay um i i need a palate cleanser after this should we talk about fellow the future yeah tell me about it's a short story um i tweeted i was at a i was at a happy hour and i had a few drinks and we were talking about disney channel shows and i was like i wonder what the fuck phil of the future is up to now so i found him on twitter and i was like oh he's a documentary filmmaker now and so i tweeted him um document this yeah document this pussy bitch you won't document this it's just a nude i don't know yeah um i hope see ya he'll be back so soon

they leave um i tweeted him just like a gif of like a cat saying hi and then he tweeted me back a gif of a cat saying hi and i was like oh shit bitch we're in and then i sent him joey from friends doing how you doing and then he slid into my dms and when was this this was when i first started at the company we met at so okay quite a while ago yeah 2017 it must have been 2016 or 2017 this was last week i was like why didn't you tell me about yeah i don't know i completely forgot it was i was like young me was so fucking lit on this i was like oh my god if i could go back and tell me that i'm talking to phil of the future right now i would be too and he oh my phone i it was the conversation that we had was so i feel so fucking stupid now because i like

i had posted a video at the time of me dancing to the family feud theme song and i was like when you've been home alone for too long and i posted it but then i deleted it really fast and he was like did i see a video of you dancing to the family feud theme song and i was like yes but it was embarrassing so i took it down and he was like well i would i would trade he said something along the lines of like i would trade it for seeing you dance to something else it was like vaguely flirty you know in a way that's like not inappropriate like i didn't feel uncomfortable but i fucking served him for some reason i was like i'm gonna tell phil the future off and so i was like um yeah like we're not actually like i'm not that kind of girl like we're not

going to have that kind of conversation what the fuck i absolutely was that kind of girl and still am so proudly raviv come back yeah this is a this is a public apology to the philip of the future philip future he could be the phil of your future he could fill me up in the future oh my god i wish i could relive you just telling me that that was so fucking funny i think we're recording it i know oh did you guys see that that was so fucking funny anyway so yeah that was my that was my fill of the future wait did he reply to you after that yeah he was like oh my god i'm so sorry he was like i did not meet he was so great about it oh shit that makes it even worse we kept chatting and then for a while he would like send me

pictures of him when he was like on set bitch i know what were you doing i wonder how many people he was like dming i don't yeah who knows he doesn't follow a whole lot of people on twitter he still follows me so i'm like i don't really understand what we're gonna we should uh see what phil's up to yeah um one of a girl i went to high school with went on a few dates with him what and i remember everyone was like oh my god did you see her on a date with this guy and i was like i don't give a shit let me tell you about this girl she's perfectly nice um but she tried to steal every one of my boyfriends i think i've told you about this girl she was in theater and she was like just so beautiful and talented she ended up like performing on broadway and

i don't know like i admired her because i was like you are so pretty and such a good singer and a great actress and then she would like do something like one time she got drunk and like try first of all getting drunk at like 16 i was like big deal yeah clutching my pearls yeah um and like was texting my boyfriend at the time like that she had a crush on him or something just like every guy i was dating she tried to go after and i was like bitch you could have anyone why do you want the guys i i am dating i'm doing my best right now yeah this is my best she probably felt competitive with you in some sense then i don't know boyfriends too do you know no it was just me yeah she was competitive with you then why else i don't know i have no idea like she

was a year older than me too i then she did end up like she had like an on and off again thing with this kid in choir and I'm just gonna say his name his name is Josh Keating because we would if we made a joke we'd be like Josh Keating that's amazing oh my god yeah nice guy and I honestly she's great name yeah she's nice too I just was like why are you going after these guys that I'm barely bagging right now do you know what she's up to now uh she married um her ex's best friend of course she did of course yeah that that is the most on-brand thing he also was interested in me in college he went to the same college as me and would not leave me alone and I had a boyfriend and I was like you're unlocking so many memories right now I feel like I'm in

so I remember this moment very specifically um we had been watching Mad Men like not necessarily together like we were just both watching Mad Men and I think we watched maybe a couple episodes together with like his roommate um and then I was I had a boyfriend long distance and like he was like walking me back to my dorm um and then he was like so I like really like you and like confess his love for me essentially and I was like I don't feel the same way and then he was like oh my god really and then I was like yeah no I have like a boyfriend like I'm not romantically interested in you and then he's like oh I really thought that it was gonna be like a madman moment or no no no no he was like this is like a madman moment when um one of the characters

is like pregnant with that guy's kid and like doesn't know and has a baby and gives it away and he's like i'm in love with you and she's like i had had your baby and i gave it away do you remember what i do you remember that scene i haven't watched mad men it's like season one season two maybe so i i can't remember the name of that character but he's like you just mad men to me like he fully thought i was gonna be like i love you too and i'm gonna leave my boyfriend for you and then after that i was like i'm not hanging out with you again the people that think so cinematically about shit also that's just like being nice to men you're always flirting you know i do have to be i have to say i'm a little jealous

of people who are like kind of living in that delusion because it's fun it's fun to romanticize your life and pretend something like that's gonna happen right but then you end up disappointed so many times fair yeah you end up being jilted no because now he's married to his best friend's ex-girlfriend from high school i mean he did his best friend's ex-girlfriend i wonder if he's still friends with her ex yeah i think so i think they're all still friends they lived together the three of them what's up yeah like had a little uh roommate situation i wonder if she you know if they had a little thing like a little threesome yeah like a little threesome oh the best friend's name so there's josh keating and then the best friend's name is also josh

wow that made it easy for her josh hopping yeah just joshing you are just you're killing me today it's the day i love it maybe i should just take dayquil instead of adderall every time i come over dayquil does make me loopy too yeah oh my god that was just josh she's just joshing around josh hoppin's pretty good too um my when i was growing up not growing up in like when i first moved to washington i lived in redmond and my across the street neighbor had a son who was two years older that like you know when you're like in middle school like the older boy that lives across the street is like always who you're gonna have a crush on oh yeah obsessed

with him and like for no reason and he was not nice either the older boy across the street from me was a fucking creep yeah he was the one that um yeah you did i ever talk about that on the podcast yeah because you asked do you remember the first time you were sexually assaulted yeah oh yeah yeah and that was him why do i i have like a rolodex of all of our conversations but not when i'm talking about them i forget what we talk about when i say it but i remember