The Hoely Hour - E118 Grifters' University

Episode Date: January 6, 2023

Welcome to Liz's segment called, "Dudes We Hate Taking L's." The men assigned Chad at birth started our off 2023 RIGHT by doing things like getting arrested in Romania! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour Check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com.

Hello and welcome to the very first episode of The Holy Hour of 2023. I'm a little disappointed to be recording this by myself, but as I am speaking, Amelia is on a plane back to Seattle and more importantly, on a plane back to me. um I don't know about everyone else but mentally I am still in 2019 I think um but I do have like the weirdest story ever that I just I keep telling everyone so obviously I need to tell all of these listeners um about my weird travel story so when I was flying back from visiting my parents in Minneapolis I was waiting for my bag at the at the carousel had the longest the whole the longest week of travel I was exhausted waiting for my bag and as the carousel

starts my bag is one of the first ones to come out and I'm like waiting for it and I see a guy lean over and grab it and I was like I feel like that's my bag like it could be his maybe it looks like it but I feel like that's my bag so I go over to the other side of the carousel where he was and he disappeared like David Copperfield he is gone so I'm like panicking a little bit so but I still wait because we're waiting for the rest of the bags to come through and then a bag comes through it looks very similar to mine I look at the tag it is not mine and then in my gut I know that this guy took my fucking bag so um I look at the name I take a picture of it I'm almost in tears at this point I'm waiting in the longest fucking line to talk to um customer service at

baggage claim which as you can correctly assume was long and a nightmare because of all of the southwest chaos and just general uh chaos of like the weather just intervening in all everyone's travel plans um luckily I had just dodged that bullet barely I got I traveled like a few days before all of that insane weather anyways um I'm waiting in this line I'm I'm googling this guy's name followed by like Seattle because I'm like you know what maybe he lives here because Christmas is over um and the first name that comes up it's it's this guy's linkedin profile and it's a guy that Amelia fucking dated and I was like there's no way there's no way this guy has the most basic name and I remember she told me that he is from Minnesota so I was like you know what it might be

this could be him and so I text her and I'm like I explained what happened and I'm like I need his number because he might have my bag and I text him and he replies like hey how did you know I like just got off this flight and I was like because I think you have my bag if you have a gold bag I also have a gold bag and you might have grabbed mine because yours is still here at the airport um and he's like oh my god if i took it i'm so sorry i'll look when i park like because it was in the trunk so he looks at the tag while i'm still at the airport and confirms he does in fact have my fucking bag so i was just like what are the chances that someone i'm able to like contact has took my bag so then i like took his bag and we did a little swap um and he was like

I feel so bad I I should have looked at the tag um I feel like such an idiot and I was just like yeah you kind of are like you're a grown man in his mid-30s like and you you don't even check the the tag on your suitcase to confirm it's yours like even I knew in my gut that that was my bag anyways I'm glad that they dated and I'm glad they're not together because as long as they dated maybe this was the reason maybe this is the reason that they were together in the first place and it was because in the future he was going to take my bag and I was going to need it back also my medication was in there so lesson learned always keep your medication on you but then a few days later I had to go fly to New York to see Mr. Liz

so I needed my bag very urgently but I'm glad I got it back by just like the weirdest means possible also a lesson to like be a nerd like your parents and like put a ribbon on your bag or something something identifying because we we put so much trust in people to just not like steal our fucking bag but then also a lot of us are idiots and might think it's someone else's bag and a lot of us might be even bigger idiots than those idiots and not look at the tag and just like fully waltz out the door with it um anyways if you're listening to this i i'm sorry for being so critical but then also like come on my guy um he's probably not listening uh anyways i prepared a great episode for you guys um i wanted to start off the year strong i wanted to start off on a

high note by celebrating dudes we hate taking l's just guys that suck taking l's uh because a lot of guys that suck took so many l's in the last couple of weeks it was just like i i don't know things were coming full circle um it felt like a blessing for for those of us who uh hate guys like this so let's start off with little little tiny tory lanes little small tory lanes um first of all he is my size he is five foot three that is short you guys that is very short um i could throw this guy like a javelin to mercer island um and that is a seattle joke for the seattleites uh second of all if you don't know who tori lanes is he is a rapper a c-list celebrity at best uh and he peaked like 10 years ago um and he was recently found guilty of three counts related to shooting

megan the stallion in the foot and there's just there's a lot to unpack here um initially megan wasn't gonna say anything probably because she didn't want this fucking lunatic shooting her in the foot again uh but misogynist like came out of the woodwork for this one too which is like bananas to me because there's there's just like so much evidence and he like did it to himself there's audio of him admitting that he shot her in the foot so the cherry on top again is that he did this all to himself so megan wasn't gonna do anything and also like how insecure do you have to be to shoot someone in the foot in like a non-threatening situation like the only threat that she poses to him is her massive career um so maybe it was just like an insecurity thing

like he's short he has like a way worse career no one knew who he was until he shot her in the foot um and she wasn't planning on saying anything and then he his little bitch ass started telling other like rap news outlets about it like to defend himself and started lying about what happened even though she had not said anything and was not going to say anything so he really dug himself a hole um because yeah she had to like defend herself at this point it became a trial um and he's now facing up to 22 years in prison so let's have he let's hope he gets the max and congratulations you're a fucking dumbass and you deserve to be short and you know what I'm just speaking on my own experience of knowing who Tory Lanez is which is that I don't and I

didn't until he shot Megan in the foot so um maybe other people knew who he was but it's just like once he did this, like, people really started outing themselves as, like, one misogynist but two idiots. Um, like, Drake added a line about it in one of his songs, I think, in, on the album Her Loss, which, like, I was thinking about it, too. Like, the songs on the album are, like, fine. They all sound the same. Um, you can tell Drake is fighting for his life in these songs against 20 21 savage because he's just so much more like in the peak of his career and i think i think drake has like passed the peak of his career but he's like approaching middle age and is like writing songs called like on an album called her loss uh anyways it's just it's

embarrassing to watch these guys like spiral out like this anyways let's move on to our next dipshit um next on our list is the liver king if you don't know who the liver king is his real name is brian johnson which is the most like boring white guy name ever um he's one of those macho alpha insecure hustle influencers he's just he's just a grifter um and he gained his online infamy by eating raw liver and other raw organs and raw meat and posting it online i might be making this up but um i think he yeah he only eats meat which is like that is not good for you that's how you get gout but he claims it's like his ancestral masculinity or some bullshit uh he is disgustingly ripped um he has too many muscles it to the point where it just like

looks gross um he looks like you know like an anatomy textbook drawing of like just you know when you see the drawings of people's just like intestines and like muscles that's what he looks like but it's on the outside now um i don't understand this line of thinking either of like my our ancestors did this and it's like yeah they did and also they were dying at 30 so i don't know if we should take a note from their book um and they also probably weren't eating pounds and pounds of meat every day because they didn't know when they were going to eat next and they also like didn't have science and i'm so sorry to let you guys know this but like we have evolved as a species so the ways that we have evolved are like things that we're doing now to live longer and

have more people exist so i just i don't know if we should be copying our ancestors they like did a lot of stupid shit and they believed a lot of dumb things um anyways this brand of man to me is like the same brand of white lady that goes through like the essential oils to the far right science denier pipeline have you seen that like the crystal girlies who then just like get a little too into like essential oil healing and then suddenly they're just like posting on facebook about how they don't believe in in covid or that it was like a government conspiracy um that is a pipeline that happens and the one for men is this one like the alpha male grifter uh but his whole thing is like real men eat raw meat and if you do what i do you'll look like me

um it is the male gaze who doesn't understand that the boys is satire and then it was discovered that he was using over twelve thousand dollars worth of steroids a month a month twelve thousand dollars worth of steroids that is so so many fucking steroids and that's why he looks the way he does that is why he looks like an inside out person um but now he is being sued in a 20 25 million dollar class action lawsuit uh because like a true narcissist insane person um he started a wellness brand or whatever with like supplements and you like he probably alleged that uh his supplements are what made him look like the mountain from game of thrones um or just like it's it can easily be implied like oh well if you eat like me and you do what

i do and you take my supplements you'll look like me um which is uh false advertising so i think they have a pretty good lawsuit on their hands um and when you're taking steroids let alone that many steroids i just want you all to know that you will be insufferably unhinged because i don't know if you've ever met someone on steroids but they are unpredictable and emotionally unstable they are like the worst person you could possibly have any sort of conversation with so don't take steroids you guys don't don't do that unless like you know it's part of a health thing but if you're taking steroids to look just like the most disgusting hulk the most sweaty gout ridden hulk possible don't do it just look normal just just be yourself

our ancestors weren't taking twelve thousand dollars worth of steroids a month oh god the delusion the delusion i just and that it just proves like the narcissism involved in this line of thinking like he is saying like this is what our ancestors do did this is like how you can be healthy and like muscular this is how we should be living and then directly doing something like his ancestors did not have access to or knew how to do or would do by taking so many steroids anyways here's your l well the the liver king here's your l uh and of course i have to talk about andrew tate and um this might be like a little bit of an ugly like thing to listen to so if you don't want to hear about sex trafficking and abuse then

maybe skip past this a little bit um we haven't talked about him much if at all on this podcast and i know personally like i didn't want to talk about him because i just didn't want to bring more attention to this idiot like i i think that we need to go back to um we need to take some notes from the early 2000s of bullying which was like mostly just like ignoring idiots you know my mom would always say like if you don't like this person ignore them and that can be very good advice so I think in this circumstance I was just like this guy does not deserve more attention and that's also what he wants he wants people talking about him whether it's good or bad especially if it's like women who disagree with him he wants that he wants that attention and he wants more

people to discover who he is like if I'm out here advocating against the things that he's saying that is just gonna make people who don't like me go listen to him um and I also never wanted to know anything about him because I knew it would just like annoy me and I don't have enough space for that in my life right now we also like live in such a divided political environment right now that like everyone's just looking for a fight or an echo chamber and I never wanted to talk about him because he's a clown and he shouldn't be given any more of a platform but that being said he took the fattest L of the year and it's only January so I needed to celebrate this with you guys um so if you don't know who Andrew Tate is after that introduction I just gave um at a very

high level he's the same as any other corny pickup artist grifter um he's bald failed athlete who hates women and he looks like a club promoter um who bathes inexpensive overpriced cologne but it still smells like cheap shitty cologne and pepper for some reason um haven't you we've all been around a guy who smells like that right you guys know what i mean um he also has no chin or jawline and a beard presumably to mask his lack of jawline and chin um but it actually like emphasizes it somehow like in his attempt to cover it up it's you notice it even more uh but he probably would look like a bald little baby if he didn't have the beard um but he has a podcast and a whole online platform basically just teaching younger men like i feel like they're mostly like high

school college boys um how to abuse women more or less uh but he he's been very quickly banned from a ton of social media platforms for his dangerous hate speech um and the thing is he's told us from day one who he is he he openly like brags about being a misogynist which is interesting interesting choice um and uh he's he's an advocate he says women are property he advocates for rape basically he was accused of raping someone himself in 2015 um he said he moved to romania because they have looser laws and punishment for rape and sexual assault like he's told us from day one um and he has an entire online course called hustlers university which is literally an mlm grift you guys it's where so like the

hustlers university is 45 a month and he tells you how to like pick up women by abusing them basically um and like shit like cryptocurrency and all that other like broseph bullshit that we see all the time um i bet he has a tattoo of a lion somewhere but subscribers get commission for every person they refer to sign up for his grift like that is an MLM but he's also explained in detail how he has a sex trafficking ring with his brother and that's what is bringing us to this L we all often think of sex trafficking as like a Liam Neeson movie and you get snatched up and sold into sex slavery but it's rarely like that because we do see a lot of stories like oh my my car was tagged with this symbol so that means that someone is

like watching me and trying to to kidnap me and sell me into sex slavery that is i feel like those are just kind of like viral stories and they don't always they're not always true it's way less common than what actually happens which is someone you know or are related to they're the ones who are sex trafficking you um and it i'm trying to think of how to explain it it's uh it's someone that you trust usually and it starts off in a way where you like don't really know that you're being trafficked because you're you trust this person they have manipulated you into trusting them um and they've done it through like love bombing and abuse and threats and things like that uh you probably have stockholm syndrome by the time you're being fully trafficked and there's different

ways of being trafficked so i'm gonna get into this a little bit more of what andrew taint was doing um what he was doing is referred to as the lover boy method which like i mentioned it that is just love bombing um it's love bombing is a common manipulation tactic against narcissists but this is worse because it leads to these women being trafficked um so he does it with the intent like he he tricks them into um thinking they're going to be in a relationship or this is like something exclusive but i love bombing them but his intent is to gain their trust so he can make them work as a sex worker for him what he does is like he traffics them by forcing them to make porn and have sex and will take away like all their means of communication um these women are

likely threatened abused both verbally physically or threatened to be abused they're also like blackmailed like if you try and leave i'm gonna send your family these videos um but he he gets them to start you know making porn and he calls it like um what does he call it a webcam business but that's also like why people are ditching porn every single day and it's because more often than not it's it's an unethical and exploitative situation so even though these women like willingly went with him to another country they didn't know that they were going to be like forced to to make online porn you know or or be a cam girl um so that's that's how it gets to this point um and you know what this is like maybe take this as a note to go support your local hottie

um and subscribe to their only fans there's lots of adult film makers who have only fans and they're making like content with other adult filmmakers um and they're doing it by choice they're you know they're getting paid because you're paying them um i think that is probably safer than you know just watching any other type of porn that you can find online because there's no way that you can guarantee that these women weren't forced into making this kind of content um anyways let's get into his big l the uk government had been investigating him for a rape charge so he moved he moved to Romania presumably to escape the charge um and more easily conduct his sex trafficking ring uh and Elon Musk he had been he had been banned from Twitter so Elon Musk let him

back on Twitter and he decided to tweet our queen Greta um a teenage environment a teenage environmental activist uh and let's focus on the word teenage here she is a teenager she is a teenage girl and this man is creeping up on middle age he is 36 um so he tweeted her about his luxury cars and asked if he could email her about their enormous emissions and she said yes please do enlighten me email me at smalldickenergy at getalife.com i mean it was already embarrassing enough that this like 36 year old adult man is like just picked a random teenager to to go bother online and then he replied at first with how dare you trying to mock something she said in a speech a long time ago but it didn't land well and it just came off as like kind of this bitch ass

glove slap response like oh how dare you um so then he made a whole video response so not only is he like double replying he's making a video reply which is it was so cringy I could not watch more than five seconds of it it was it was so embarrassing and I'm not just saying that because I think he sucks I'm I fully mean like this was an embarrassing thing to witness um so uh in this video there's like there's like these pizza boxes stacked on on top of each other and the rumor is that the pizza boxes in his reply video is what led to investigators finding him and arresting him because they needed proof he was actually in Romania but it's unclear if that's actually true um some sources are like no this didn't play any role in our investigation

and maybe it was just like serendipitous i either way amazing amazing play by the universe i love that for us um and all of his homes have been searched and 11 of his cars have been seized by the government and he remains in custody and it'll be very interesting to watch this unfold over the next few months and i'll see you in hell bitch and lastly i want to end with something more light uh we're gonna end with ben shapiro so first ben shapiro had this whole like twitter tirade about how he hated glass onion and it was a bad movie because he didn't like that we were intentionally misled at the beginning and there were um plot twists but it it's a mystery my guy it's a mystery movie um but he started the thread with like this movie is bad because we were

misled at the beginning uh and people were like this guy would hate scooby-doo it was the neighbor the whole time um i i but he probably just didn't like it because it's directly making fun of people like him um anyways there was this viral clip of him on a podcast or something and I don't know what it's from because I don't really care uh but it was going around TikTok and Twitter because his eyebrows were looking very manicured but his lips are what people were talking about the most um they looked like he had gotten like really bad filler on his bottom lip so people were stitching it and commenting on it like you should make sure your esthetician does your top lip next time or something like that um but i wanted to watch the whole clip because he was saying

something about marriage and i i just want to know what kind of dating advice ben shapiro is out here giving um and this is what he said whenever i meet you know people who are say how long have you been dating they'll say two years i'm like so what are you waiting for either get married or get off the pie so my father had always said and i think he's right that you only meet the person you're going to marry when you already believe that it's time to get married. People tend to meet a person, date a person. They're like, oh, I'll fall into marriage. I'll just, I'll sort of, I'll fall in love with them. And then I'll decide to get married. Wrong. You decide you're going to get married. Then you meet the person you can fall in love with because

you're thinking in a different way. When you're dating for marriage, you have a set of values. What do you want your life to look like? How do you want your life to be structured? What do you want to teach your kids? What kind of community? Like these are really important questions. Why are you actually in the room with this person? Is it because they're good looking and because