The Hoely Hour - E12 Bop that WAP

Episode Date: September 2, 2020

Yes folks, you read that right, bop that WAP. Trust us. Or well, trust Liz, at least. A listener asked us to talk more in depth about therapy! We answer what we looked for when searching for a therapist, how we prepare for our appointments, and more. Amelia celebrates the upcoming election and Liz celebrates learning to make a crunchwrap (Taco Bell, pls sponsor). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

i was like at a nightclub with um some of my friends for one of my friend's birthdays and this guy like this was just my mo i would just be like hey do you want to make out with me i always said yes yeah so i like i was like hey do you want to make out and he was like yeah i like made out with this guy but he was like me and my friends did pcp before we went to the club yeah and then i was like what is pcp and then later on i looked up pcp and just like read like fucking horror stories about pcp and i was like i'm lucky this man didn't try and fucking murder me Welcome to the Holy Hour. I'm Amelia Sampson. And I'm Liz Ball. I said my name well that week. Yeah. That week. This week. I'm gonna warn everybody listening, I'm having a hard time

with words today. We all have those days. Welcome to Mass. I forgot to say welcome to Mass. Yeah, Welcome to mass. I'm really not doing well today. I feel like, yeah, maybe like your thoughts are kind of like strung out. And then I, I've kind of been feeling like that earlier this week. I feel like I'm just like, I have like a lazy tongue today. Yeah. I feel like my thoughts are ahead of my words right now.

It's like every time I'm saying something, I'm already onto the next thought. So I'm like, that's Adderall. Let's get the job done. How much can we talk about right now? okay I have a question for you well it's okay so it's not really like anything I feel like we've kind of touched on it but I've never like asked you direct like what is your biggest pet peeve when after you have sex with a guy oh that is a really good question what's the one thing that they do that would like that really pisses you off like if I didn't orgasm and then they just

like lay there that's fine you can totally like be a husk of a person and not be thinking but like fuck like cuddle me or something like right like play with my hair or whatever like can we have like a little like regroup to so i know that you oh you know what this valued yeah okay so this brings i'm this makes me think about um so i sent amelia this tiktok of this woman explaining like um masculine sex is like goal-oriented sex and the goal is to to orgasm and then um feminine oriented sex is the goal is a connection but i mean i like strongly disagree with that i don't think that we should categorize it by gender yeah um so i but that like is kind of like what amelia and i had been talking about was last week yeah it was yeah of just like goal-oriented sex

versus uh which would be like fucking versus like having sex for the connection yeah so i love that way of categorizing it yeah so i guess i i really hate when it's um goal-oriented sex and there's no like i think you know everybody wants to climax but if like we're not if we're having sex and it's not because like we have a connection like i need i need again aftercare right so i think like yeah the the biggest pet peeve is just like well he came so we're done now and it's just like fuck i guess i'll masturbate when you fall asleep yes right i'll go to the bathroom i'm taking i'm taking a shit that's what i'm doing in here don't worry about it actually just trying to make so i'm gonna leave yeah unless you have an electric toothbrush yeah can you point me in the direction

of the nearest electric toothbrush uh yeah no I agree that's definitely my number one pet peeve like especially if it's somebody that I haven't had sex with often like yeah because it's I don't want to feel like I've said this a lot but like I don't want to feel like disposable after no matter what even if I'm just there to hook up like I don't know like pretend to care yes it's such an intimate thing to be doing and then like to not feel valued afterwards to like you said like just be a vessel yeah right like you like I am just an object of your goal-oriented sex and I was not I didn't sign up for that I'm not having sex for you I want to obviously make them feel good yeah duh like I want it to be enjoyable for both of us but like your orgasm is not

the only important thing to me here yeah i definitely think like but yeah no it's that's 100 my pet peeve is just like when they're just like i came congratulate me that was like dishwasher that was like my sex with dishwasher it was like he like got up cleaned himself off and was like i'm so tired now that was like sad dry hand job too he was like now that i've come he's like this is awkward because you seem really awake and i'm tired so i'm gonna go home i'm like I'm awake because I have not I'm frisky yeah like I'm my adrenaline's going because you didn't touch me once oh my god so yeah no that's that's definitely it but like I I don't know it's it's really interesting to talk because I've talked to a few people who um have never orgasmed

from sex a few women um and their idea of what makes successful sex varies from person to person because even they will be like oh I feel like it wasn't successful if I didn't come but it's like then that they always have that on them I honestly really enjoy having like a little like debrief um yeah exactly a post-mortem of sex yeah I honestly really do like talking about it after like oh what was your like favorite part of like this session wow that's interesting yeah I don't know i don't know why i like it i also like hearing i think it's um like i know what my experience was like so i want to hear like i want to experience it through their eyes as well yeah so i like hearing about it like um and i i also like sharing like oh i thought it was really hot

when you did this yeah that's interesting i've never done that with sex i do that with like reminiscing on like our first date like i love doing that i love that too because it's just like i from like a human experience standpoint i want to understand like how i come off so i'm just like i'm like studying up for like future me um but i just love doing that kind of reminiscing i've never done it with sex it's i honestly really enjoy it just like telling the telling my partner like descriptively like what i enjoyed yeah about having sex with them and then like you know i want to hear the same yeah kind of like experience or like yeah just hear what they had to say about the experience i should try that and i mean who doesn't like obviously i love sharing but like

who doesn't like caring about oh i want compliments no matter what exactly like tinkerbell stays alive with applause and i stay alive with compliments that's all i need um i was talking to i was i wasn't talking i've talked to a lot of people about this but um i was thinking earlier today about how like I have in my mind that like sex feels like the best thing in the entire world to guys and I know that it does like they obviously like met people with penises love how sex feels but then whenever I ask the question that I asked you a while back about um like what would you do if you were a guy for a day and I've asked men that men's answers are always like I just want to know what sex feels like for women because like it seems like the best thing in the

world like you guys like seem like you just love it so much and i'm like we like what is your there's no does it feel better for us than it does because i know that clits are like there's like so much yeah there's a lot of nerve endings but like i don't think like it's not like it's like an astronomically better experience for people with vaginas i don't think but now i'm thinking i'm like what well now i want to know what it feels like to have sex with a dick because like what like i was under the assumption well if we go back to like a few episodes ago like the orgasm gap is insane like that's just accepted that women like don't come right so then where's this idea coming from that it's like feels like better better than it does for people with penises

i don't know i don't understand but anyway i just thought that was interesting because i've heard this a few times now like i just want to know because like you guys seem to like it feels like it looks like it feels insane but it's like like it feels good if they're going down on you they don't have to like put an entire thing in their mouth to the back of their throat do you deep throat queen shit i can't my gag reflex is too strong oh i definitely gag but i gag like when i'm brushing my teeth my gag reflex is ridiculous i give really good head like i feel very caught like comfortable with your head game yeah my head game is prestigious but i can't deep throat like i like the thought of it is making me want to gag

oh i can't do it i want to gag i want to choke it's my life anthem i love her so much i also like when they say macaroni in the pot oh my god okay so the first time i heard that that song i watched the music video and they censor it in the music video so i didn't know what ass pussy they were saying wet and gushy oh yeah and so that line with the macaroni in the pot comes and i'm like that is the grossest way to describe macaroni absolutely wet and gushy but the macaroni in the pot thing okay i was thinking about that guy who's it's a famous vine where like his mom is stirring the macaroni and then he's like that's what good pussy sounds like yes and like that iconic moment making a reference like in a

song i know i know it's like kind of maybe like this universal understanding but i feel like that vine is like something that helped make it like even more widely like thought of and understood and she's gonna get sued by that guy I wonder if he's like it it was me I'm the macaroni in the pot for the wet and gushy that was me you might recognize me from WAP that's a good pussy sound is it WAP or is it WAP WAP it's WAP I say WAP WAP WAP I just feel so like Midwestern because there's already that song called the WAP that's true because she says bop oh yeah bop bop bop bop that's also a bop that bop is a bop bop that bop bop bop bop that bop I like it have you speaking of bopping wops oh god I have no idea what you're about to ask

me have you ever had a guy like spank your vagina nope on purpose yeah does it feel good yes no i didn't think i would like it until it happened to me like a light tab no whoa no uh-uh no but there is a certain part of like my ass that is spanked that like sends a ripple effect up to the badge and like that's great i've never had anybody just like full like my vagina i feel like it's a little more it's not as hard it's kind of like an upward motion it depends on your angle yeah interesting because it has to be if i'm like on my stomach i know but like i don't even like oh i guess you know what actually now that you're saying that like i've

seen that in in porn a few times now that i'm thinking about it yeah because i so when i would see it in porn I was like that does not seem like a good time yeah and then it happened to me and then I was like this is a very good time this is the best time I've ever had yeah this is the best time it's and it's to me it's really interesting like the I don't know when I'm when I'm watching porn I'm just like I don't think I'd like that but then like it's happened to me so many times where i've like watched something i'm like oh i'm not i'm not into this and then like if it happens i'm like holy shit i really like this so i don't know it's kind of like how i feel about like podcasts like i don't listen to podcasts that are like ours yeah me either yeah and i don't know

like i don't watch porn that is like the sex i have right that makes sense it's so weird i hadn't thought about that before i i've noticed so like i'll search like snapchat porn because the idea of like voyeurism is really hot to me for some reason yeah or like it was like it was so like the sex was so good like you started recording it and you wanted to like share it with people or something like that like that's so true i love like cell phone footage yes yeah we'll get to that point soon can you he's like what is it she fell in the well show us he just wants love i give him so much attention that's why he wants more he's like listen you give this to me all the time and i want it at this moment yeah my boyfriend was like

i think that you should like stop acknowledging him when he but then he's gonna start acting out in worse ways to get attention it'll he goes through phases right now he's just in like a whiny phase um so one of my friends dm'd me and she asked if we could talk about therapy on the podcast and i think that's a great idea because both amelia and i like are in therapy and have had yeah we're big advocates for it and for mental health and um yeah i think it's worth talking about because i think we probably have a lot of listeners who are also in therapy or are interested in exploring going to therapy and um everyone has a different kind of experience yeah so yeah so what my friend dm'd me was um

because i was like what specifically like would you want to hear about and she said like how you prepare for sessions um because like she tries to prepare and fails and like if there's a method and then like how often we go and how we found the best therapist for us it makes you feel like you can like do fucking anything when you can like get your mental health under control or you know that's like such a spectrum but like when you can kind of get get your thing like finger on what's going on a little bit it is the most empowering feeling it's like intoxicating yeah yeah I think a lot of people are afraid to go to therapy um and it's because it's scary to like confront these feelings that you know are inevitably there that you're like you're going

to have to deal with them yeah and when you develop coping mechanisms around it that aren't necessarily healthy it's like well I've had it under control for this long so like why the fuck do I need to go to therapy yeah and now you got and then you have to like break down your coping mechanisms especially if they're unhealthy and it's just it is a lot of work but like like you said like it is really gratifying i the first i would say like the first like nine months i was in therapy it was constantly work like it was really nice when i had like those revelations i loved those i love i loved the really hard appointments that we had um and i feel like hardest ones are the ones you don't expect to become really hard uh and it like I would just

be so drained I would need to take the rest of the day to myself because I like had so many feelings I needed to sit with what were you looking for when you were like looking for a therapist yeah that's a good question I base it off of their pictures which is the I think maybe it's good if we address this like how did you find a therapist for you and that sounds bad like you based it off the pictures but like I did the same exact thing and I picked a young therapist because I didn't want to feel like um intimidated I wanted to feel like I was talking to someone who looks like they could be my friend yeah so um and like for this to be like I did kind of see a therapist to hand I saw a therapist like a couple of times in college like I didn't feel like I could really

like open up to her because it just felt like I was talking to like one of my mom's friends or something and she was great it just like I could not get comfortable yeah and I also was ashamed to be there it's a personal battle getting used to the idea of of taking your own mental health into your own hands and I and I struggled with that a lot when I like this new therapist not she's not new anymore it's been three years now but like my most recent therapist like I everybody was telling me to go to therapy like I was so depressed like my my mom was like please please please go to a therapist I am worried and like all my friends were like maybe maybe go back to therapy and I'm like nope nope and then it got to the point um my my best friend Katie was like

you she she all she had to say she was like you don't need to be feeling like this I was like you're right I don't and like for whatever reason that like triggered it triggered it for me I was like no you're you're right like I I don't need to be feeling like this like I have I have the opportunity and the privilege to go and talk to somebody and so um Katie Katie works in in mental health care and so I sent her all of the therapists in my network for my insurance and she gave me a top three and number one was who my therapist is now and I was lucky that I didn't have to build rapport with a bunch of different therapists like it just stuck for me and how and how I decided that she was the right one for me was on her picture and opposite from you like I didn't

want to talk to somebody that was my age or close to my age like I wanted to talk to somebody that like I didn't I think that I struggle with and I always have because I was bullied for so long in middle school like sixth grade through ninth grade basically that like I always struggle with feeling judged by people my age still today even though I'm much more confident than I was back then I still have these like little like things so I was like we all have little things yeah right as we've been saying but I was like I want to talk to like an adult yeah and so even though I'm an adult but I still don't consider myself an adult I mean I do think that's really interesting because like um you have such a close and like important and reliable relationship with your parents yes

that you can always go to them so it's it's so interesting to see how like these kind of like little like micro ideas in our heads of like i know i'll feel more comfortable talking to someone who is maybe around my parents age because i would always go to my parents when i like when uh I was bullied or something like that and then for me it's like I keep so much of my life away from my parents yeah um and like I'm so an open book with you know anyone I'm friends with yes yeah as we clearly yeah um so then like me seeking out someone who I'm like um yeah maybe like I want to talk to someone who looks like would be one of my friends yes yeah it's it's so interesting to see like the difference and therapists know that like how they how they

position their what they look like in their pictures there's a science to it like I have some friends that are studying I like that you and I were conscious of these decisions I know of course we were I knew I was like you know what I don't want to talk to someone who I feel like will intimidate me so I'm going to pick someone who like looks like really approachable and like someone who is I'm friends with and this this has all had to shift over time like now there are classes in PhD programs where you learn about your online presence like making sure SEO is right because if like you are like show up as like you were a stripper in the past like more power to you but like people might see that and be like I don't want to go to her you know because people

have like these ideas they there are automatic responses to certain things that people see online and that can make or break when people decide to go to you and so like they have to work my therapist you cannot her social media presence is so buttoned up like so is mine her Facebook has a picture of her family and her headshot and that's all that's public and like that's probably when I saw the picture of her family I'm like oh I'm getting a window even though it is like pretty ballsy and that was 100% by design for her and she has pictures of her kids that are like facing out in her on her desk so like people can see them and like me being like over analytical of everything I'm like this was all planned out everything in here she probably looks at like

how we choose like where to sit on the couches or like our energy when we come in like so when I see stuff like online presence I'm like they paid such close attention to everything going on here but I've always been I've always gone to adult therapists like yeah my Amelia's you're using air quotes I'm always using air quotes usually when I slow down my words it's because I have air quotes um but yeah no i finding a therapist is so there's so much that goes into it there's so much so i mean yeah obviously basing it off of looks is not the only way to do it ideal but also like um i think that what each person needs is so vastly different like my therapist is really rigid um but I like that like I am not trying to get her approval on anything yeah so I like that

she's totally at an arm's length for me like I don't need her approval like um and she's also super like logical and analytical so like I came to her from a very like emotional and reactive place like my emotions dictated and controlled everything I did um there was no like I'm gonna sit with my feelings and think about them it was just like this is what i'm feeling so i'm gonna act on this feeling yeah yeah and like i yeah there was no thought to it and she is she like the way she um she does like a lot of cbt so i love cbt so yeah um it's what is it cognitive behavioral therapy yep so um I don't really know how to describe CBT CBT I'll I'll take the wheel on this oh I also want to use this opportunity to talk about Wobot there is this app called Wobot

W-O-E-B-O-T and I'm not exaggerating when I say that this this thing actually saved my life one night like i was having the absolute i i've never had a panic attack where i felt like i i needed to get out of my skin like i've never experienced that before and um i called a self-harm helpline that night because i was worried that i was going to hurt myself and they suggested wobot that was one of their suggestions and what Wobot does is they use CBT which helps you in the simplest of terms and I recommend googling this like it's googling CBT yes yeah and Wobot but CBT specifically because there's so many facets to it and it's remarkable but in the most simplest of terms cbt helps you remove all of the like extreme thinking of thoughts and helps you rewrite them

in logical ways of what's actually happening so for example like this person isn't talking to me because they hate me and they wish that i would die and what wobot helps you and what it uses cbt to do is helps you untangle that and look at it as like this person isn't talking to me because they're busy they'll get back to me later like it helps you like kind of put it through a funnel and just like take out all the stuff that you actually can use to be more productive in your thinking there's like black and white thinking um like catastrophic thinking there's a bunch of different things that go into this and robot teaches you all of those ways that anxiety makes you anxiety and depression make you think about things too extreme um and it puts labels on it

And there was something so freeing about getting Wobot and putting labels on what I was experiencing. I'm like, I'm using end of the world thinking right now. Like, there's actually a word for what I'm doing and other people do this. And so this thought that I'm having is not actually as bad as it feels like it is. Yeah. It's amazing. And my therapist does not use CBT. She doesn't, she doesn't practice it.

So it was new to me. But your therapist uses it. so oh yeah does she how does she does she like ask you questions so you can get there oh my god yeah my therapist i always think of it as like you know she is like i'm a mouse and she's trying to like make me find the cheese like she's not she's not like helping me she's she's just asking me the questions to make me get to the the answer myself and um it was pretty hard at first well and sometimes I would just I would just be staring at her and I'd just be like I don't know yeah like I I don't know yeah and then she would you know she would kind of like smile because she was like okay

like this is what you're going through like this is where this is stemming from and then I'm like oh my god yeah yeah yeah blows my mind but yeah once like the hardest thing for me to accept was just like my childhood trauma because like I love my parents so much and I think that they're like amazing people so it's always hard to like accept like oh yep our parents all traumatize us a little bit obviously it's not on purpose like being a parent is the hardest job in the world absolutely when like i said being a good parent is even harder yeah so yeah i'd say for them like they're pretty good parents um and i like you're never going to be a perfect parent no matter what you do so real um and that's like no one's gonna be a perfect anything yeah um yeah so accepting that

like oh this is this is childhood drama right yeah it's always really hard it's so hard but it is so yeah once you are aware liberating yes it's remarkable that i think is like i mean i go on and on about therapy and honestly trying to walk through my what now 19 18 years of therapy experience 19 um it would take 70 episodes and this is not the last time we're going to talk about it but we're always going into therapy is always going to come up it's always like the underlying thing i so when i originally didn't realize that we'd like casually we'll casually like sprinkle in like in every episode therapy yeah my therapist and then keep going but I guess I didn't really think about like some of our listeners like might be more interested in like

hearing a little bit more about therapy and our own experiences with therapy and how you experience therapy is going to differ from person to person so like just a little disclaimer this is just our experience exactly but I will say like when I first started going to therapy like I said it was for the phobias and my severe anxiety as a child um but then what it's turned into now and like when I went three years ago um for the first time again with this therapist that I have now it was for a different purpose than what I go for now like back then it was like to try to work through like all of this like adulthood stuff that I was going through of just like who am I like what do I want out of life why am I treating certain people in my life this way or why am I

making the decisions that I'm making and then I went through a breakup and like having her understand so much about myself that I don't know because she's been looking at me through a professional lens was like a vehicle for my healing and I'm still healing and and healing is always it's a process it's a very long process but like having her be like listen like you are you have you make decisions based on all of this shit that we've talked about in the past and having somebody to be able to like help the best the best visualization of therapy that I saw was like somebody it was like the outline of a head and it was like like yarn all like oh yeah just like all like bundled up it was like all knotted up and then like somebody was just like

pulling it out and it was coming out untangled and that's what it is it's like they're not exactly what it is they're not making you feel anything that you aren't capable of doing yourself like they're just revealing it they're revealing it and they're untangling it and like i i feel like i'm never going to feel satisfied with how i talk about therapy because i fucking love therapy so much yeah it's so hard to put into words like what it does for you and it does something different for every person it's okay all right I'll just ask you okay so how do you prepare for a therapy appointment um it's it's changed over the years because for a while I thought that the thing to do was like go to therapy and talk about exactly how you're feeling in the moment but then I

realized that like I would be having a really hard time on Sunday and I'd be like thank god I have therapy on Tuesday and then like I would like feel better by Tuesday which was just me suppressing how I was feeling and so I would go and I'd be like yeah I was really sad on Sunday but like I don't know I'm like fine now and then I wouldn't ever work through anything so now I've started like making notes of like exactly how I'm feeling in the moment which for a while I was wary of doing because it was like if I'm feeling better I don't want to like have to like go back to this note in my phone like I would realize like if I had like long difficult text messages typed out in my notes section if I would open up my notes section and see that note from like a

week ago would trigger me into feeling sad again so I was like I don't want the notes of what I feel like I need to talk about in therapy to be on my phone but that's important to pay attention to because then it's like why is it so triggering to see these things in my phone clearly I have to work through it so I started making notes of things that I needed to talk about in therapy and if I brought it up and I was like but this doesn't really bug me anymore she would like still make mental notes nothing gets by my therapist I had to get I had to get past that because I was like she's going to remember everything that I tell her so like she she would bring things up that I had said in passing like two years ago and I'm like holy shit you're really listening so

whenever I bring up like I was sad about this but like I think I'm okay now she would like internalize that and then like if I would bring up something related she'd be like yeah you said that three weeks ago like clearly we need to talk about it so let's talk about it so in that sense even writing it down even if I feel like I'm not going to need to talk about it in the moment but yeah no I think just like being able to write down how you're feeling in the moment it's like journaling it's like being able to look back on your journal entries and seeing what progress absolutely just get to write down how you're when I when I first started going to therapy I would I was journaling constantly and um I think journaling is a huge part of like healing

and learning um and changing because like if I was feeling any kind of way like if I had a good day or a bad day or whatever I would journal about it because also I I understood like the transitions that were happening in my life even just with like moving to a new city and um not knowing anyone and like starting this new job I was going through a ton of life changes and I wanted to document it and remember it and then when I started going to therapy um I would write about whatever like I was trying to process that I had like taken away from that um that meeting that we had and then like months later I could go back and reflect on like this is what I was thinking and feeling when I was processing this and like your the way you process things over

time changes and um like reading how i was feeling or thinking at that time and being able to like put some logic to it like down the line was just really satisfying just you can really recognize your own growth absolutely and it feels amazing so like um yeah if if you recognize like once you are at your therapy appointment and you don't know what to talk about like during the week whatever feelings come up for you like making notes of them can be super beneficial yeah um now I don't make notes of things like I can be like oh I had a big moment this week that I I want to reflect on with my therapist so um sometimes there's that um and I don't get something out of my appointment every single time but like this week I was not expecting to like

really have be so emotional um and I feel like those are always the weeks that sneak up on me it's just like you're like I'm fine I had a great week yeah and then suddenly you're crying your brain's like psych yeah your brain it's all it takes is like the right question and then you have like a total melt oh my god yes yeah so like I've had a lot of experiences in therapy where I feel like I leave and it's not productive and like I think that's something that people have to push past yeah because like people will do that and they'll be like it's not good for me and it's like no like it probably is and it just wasn't a productive session like there's nothing wrong with that but it is those days when you're least expecting it yeah some days I'll go in and

be like I'm okay this week and I'll end up sobbing the entire time yeah and that's how I felt this week it's always when the best work is done for me at least yeah I don't I don't know even when Amelia first came over I started crying again talking about talking about my therapy I walled up a few times while recording drudging up emotions is tough it's hard because like we were we were saying like it's nobody likes to feel yeah no one wants to be sad but it's really interesting because like people will make and we've said this last week people will make jokes about like how similar Liz and I are we're like morphing into each other but just like this is a perfect example of like everybody's therapy experiences are different from everybody else's

and like you and I have had entirely different experiences in therapy and they've both been positive but like they're so different and so like I don't know it's it's I think a lot of people that haven't had an opportunity to be exposed to therapy or have been afraid to go have this idea in their mind of what it is and it's wrong I'm just gonna tell you now you're wrong about what you think it's gonna be because like everybody is there's no way to know how you're going to react in therapy there are so many people that I wish would go to therapy because it's just like I want everyone first I want everyone to go to therapy I think that it is such an amazing thing even if you feel healthy yeah if you think you're okay yeah yeah you don't know I'm sure I'm sure

you are okay right I'm glad you're okay I feel okay a lot of the time but I'm sure you also have some shit that you want to work through and even if you in a perfect world you don't yeah let's say you don't have anything i refuse to believe that's the impossible but i say that to say like even if you feel like everything in your life is perfect and you've never had any trials or tribulations just going from to the opposite end of the spectrum you could still benefit from therapy in just working through everyday stuff like stuff that everybody goes through like i hate my job i feel like i'm stuck in this rut things that people think of as like quote surface level shit like isn't and like that's a lot of what therapy can do for people

that maybe don't have things like deep-rooted stuff that they have to work through it's it could be there's a benefit for everybody i i fucking love therapy like it has been so good for so many people in my life that i'm just like it is tried and true and i will not stop isn't it insane to see like your transformation in therapy and how it affects like different relationships in your life oh yeah like a lot of what I'm feeling personally is like when I put it out into the open it's like I am the master of this my brain isn't even though I am my brain it's like I am going to actively work through this I'm not going to let it fester in my head and so I realized when people come to me about things like they just need to get it out and be

like I'm feeling this way and like I just need somebody to know I'm like you are allowed to feel that way like now what and it kind of like then they can put it back into their brain and be like okay it's out there I'm like I'm I'm taking control over it and so like in that sense I think people do gravitate toward me to talk about things yeah the problem I've noticed like if a friend or someone does that with me i'm worried that you know i don't i like i'm not capable of being another person's therapist you know like even though i'm able to understand and process emotions and like apply logic to them like i am not trained to be a therapist right your friend nor do i want to be you can't my worry is just like they think that like telling me is enough

that's such an important distinction you can talk to your it's so important to have people you can talk to about yeah have friends that you can rely on to understand you it is not a replacement for therapy yeah it's not going to fix whatever you're going through just telling someone and this is something that like one of our friends brings up all the time if you talk about something it gives you the validation as if you've already done it and that is not the case no if you're like yeah I'm gonna work out later it gives you the validation of like that you've already worked out and then you're like if you change your mind you're like never mind like you still walked away with the validation of like yeah I I was planning on working out later yeah I told everyone I was

gonna work out later yeah yeah I mean I think that being able to talk to your friends is such a nice first step before therapy because it's like okay I'm recognizing I'm putting this out there and I'm recognizing how much better it feels to get it out and be able to talk about it with someone but like your friends are not they're not even if your friend is a therapist like they're not going to be able to be your therapist yeah yeah exactly you it's so important to be able to have um you need to have the separation yeah yeah a professional is going to help you the way that you're hoping your friends will yep yeah and I feel like my friendships have become better because i'm in therapy like i'm not turning to them to like fix and validate

whatever i'm going through yes so i can have these beautiful amazing friendships apart from like my internal journey with therapy yes yeah i'm trying to well we're circling back to the question of just like how do you prepare for it and it it really is just like you can try and prepare for it you know make notes throughout the week of like what you're feeling and maybe even make it like a full journal entry if it's something that's really weighing on you because the reflection is also incredibly rewarding oh my god down the line um but just making notes of like what triggered you into feeling whatever feeling like if it's anger or sadness or grief or even something that you're like oh my god i'm so happy about this because like this person validated how i

was feeling or something like that yeah um that's I think that's a good way to prepare but then also it's like sometimes when you're not prepared is when like you get the most out of out of a meeting yeah because like yeah or an appointment because I've had a handful of experiences like quite a few where I've gone in where I'm just like yeah I had a great week because you can have a great week but like that's not going to change your childhood trauma so just like you know kind of um talking about whatever happened in your week or something will start to bring things up but then also i think that is a huge reflection of your therapist is like totally if they're going to be like so you said this thing let's unravel it absolutely a

good therapist will be able to point things out like that but also like test drive ways that you can prepare like maybe take notes once and then the next time maybe you don't and you see what works best yeah totally experiment yeah and then also don't go in with the expectation that you're gonna get something from it every single time because yeah like I said like earlier today when my boyfriend was dropping me off I was like maybe I'll uh switch to every other week because I don't feel like I'm like getting as much out of it and then like I had my appointment like 10 minutes later and just started crying about five minutes in yeah yeah so you really never know like um i think yeah maybe not having any expectations is not having expectations it can be beneficial oh

yeah yeah of just like in general yeah absolutely that's a good like life a life lesson is no expectations no expectations we're all gonna die best expectations that was too sad yeah we're all just floating on a rock honestly reminding myself that everybody dies is like a little validating oh my god not for me i hate thinking about that i yeah the idea of it is terrifying but then also like a little relieving absolutely because you're like well this happens to everybody existence is fleeting yeah I don't feel I don't have that experience I'm death is just the fifth dimension now it's not stable in all this is a fifth dimension podcast yeah exclusively we're rebranding um but anyway yeah I mean like we we could talk about this for forever we should wrap

it up but like we won't this won't be the last time we talk about therapy no don't talk about what we're celebrating yeah our celebration do you know you're celebrating this I actually do and it's like kind of like corny but like oh so um the other night uh like i like to make dinner for my boyfriend um but also yeah i like i cook for myself so often but it's just somehow like even more satisfying like cooking for another person so like um i would say probably every week i've like made something for us oh yeah i don't know it's just fun i like making him something yeah it really is um so i made this is so like ironic uh i made us crunch wrap supremes and they're really fucking they're easy to make and they're delicious it sounds so um but

like also like so right before he started heading over he was like we should go get taco bell this weekend because so anyone who knows me knows like i'm i love taco bell i love it so much we went there for my birthday party last year i we took a party bus to taco bell it was the best i'm not even joking everybody was so drunk by the time yeah by the time we got to taco bell we're all hammered and like we're like yes taco that was my first time eating taco bell are you serious oh my god i feel so blessed yeah you took my taco bell virginity oh that's the best news i've ever um but yeah so anyways like he knew i loved i love taco bell so he was like we should get taco bell this weekend also taco bell's removing like a ton of my favorite shit from their menu

anyways so like he texted that and i was like hey he has no idea i'm making his crunch wrap supreme and i was like don't look at my kitchen like it has to be a surprise and then i like finished like making his crunch wrap and i brought it out on the plate and he was like oh is that a crunch wrap that's so sweet he was fucking stoked and i was like you didn't even know like when you texted me that i was making his crunch wraps that's so cute i love that it was really awesome so you're celebrating cooking for your boyfriend yeah but also in general like making a crunch wrap at home guys they're so easy to make and they're so good you can kind of put whatever you want in them like i can i can tell you like how i layered things yeah but you can

kind of like just put whatever in them and all i think the key ingredient is queso and uh taco sauce oh i'm so hungry yeah i'm so i'll probably make one when you leave because i still have a bunch of the ingredients do it yeah i love that so that's that's gonna be my celebration for the week is like making crunchwrap supremes and also like how stoked my boyfriend yes i love that great it's a great thing to celebrate um this week I am celebrating being super close to an election I've been thinking so much about it did you hear that the guy who's like predicted every election he said Biden's gonna win yeah I know didn't he didn't he predict Trump was gonna win in 2016 wild nobody thought except for that man I honestly I wasn't surprised when Trump

one oh god I was I was I like was and I wasn't I was like hmm I just like I don't want to get too political on this podcast but like I the state of the world right now the state of America right now is you can't look at what's going on and be like I would be good for another four years like you can't it's insane it's so bad and like I understand a lot of liberals are having a hard time with Joe Biden and Kamala Harris like I get it oh I get it we're absolutely I feel like we're just like trapped with like these fucking old people who are so wildly out of touch with like what the world needs yeah they're just like on these platforms like this is what we stand for and then yeah fucking donald trump i don't okay i don't want to get too political but anyway what

i'm celebrating is there potentially being a light at the end of this awful awful tunnel that we're especially with coronavirus and i part of me is just terrified that if trump is in office for another four years we're just gonna have to deal with coronavirus for another four we're gonna have to deal with so it's gonna get worse if we if there have you seen the picture of like a skeleton looking out a window i feel like that is america looking at the rest of the world like out and about like one of our friends lives abroad right now and she's like out doing shit and no one's wearing a mask and i'm like my instinct is just like how come no one's wearing a mask and then i'm like oh because they don't fucking have to yes and that is it's painful it's so painful i'm just

like i i don't understand but anyway i said i didn't want to get too political and i'm getting heated now but it's okay i have the power of editing we're approaching an election i'm and i'm so excited about it like if for anything i like that you're excited about it are you nervous about it yeah i'm nervous about it too or if oh my god are you kidding i'm like if we get four more years this man the world is gonna burn but like there being a potential end in sight to this madness is what i'm celebrating this week whenever i get incredibly overwhelmed about like um just the state of america and our government um i do think of the positives that have come out of of everything of just like becoming more aware um i think everybody becoming more aware and like

more involved yes more involved and then um just people coming together for all of these necessary changes that have needed to happen so true the union the unity that's happened from this awful administration has been pretty amazing yeah well um thanks for listening as always please tweet us and message us on instagram at the holy hour we love hearing from you guys it's the best thing we always send screenshots to each other because we're always like oh my god like it's just the best thing in the world so please keep messaging us and then email us also if there's something that you want us to discuss yeah my friend just dming us literally like 15 minutes before recording discussion today was because of this message liz got as i was on the

way here yeah so please like we love talking about what you want to hear about also email us at holy hour podcast at gmail.com and um yeah that's it yeah thanks for listening we need someone to come up with a tune for us we love you our children it's a beautiful song honestly it inspires me it cut it cut it's a different uh like it's a different tune every time it is it morphs you get a one-of-a-kind experience every time you listen to this it's a mood closing so it depends on the mood that we're in it changes colors Thank you.