The Hoely Hour - E120 Have You Ever Met A Kieth?

Episode Date: January 20, 2023

We have to talk about the Tennessee police department harem. Speaking of harems, one tech fraud thinks polyamory should operate like a Chinese Imperial Harem where your partners all have a rank and if they want to move up, they have to viciously work for it. Also there's an app you need to try so you don't get kidnapped on a date with a stranger you met online. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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Initial plan term only. Greater than 50 gigabytes. May slow when network is busy. see terms even in the instance of my ex i just always thought it was so interesting how like judgmental he'd be of other people's infidelity but then when it comes to him he's just like yeah but she was crazy yeah it's like deflection it's like yeah you see i can recognize when somebody's being a bad person and i wasn't welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia stanson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen

ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com all right elizabeth t ball i have more top or bottom questions for you okay are you ready oh i just have to say when i was editing i was with mr liz and i kept pausing to ask him the same question and i have to say i was pleasantly surprised how aligned we were oh in our opinion wow that's something like that's the new horoscope because obviously i didn't tell him in advance top or bottom opinion um compatibility above zodiac compatibility what is he what's his sign aquarius is that compatible with libra uh yes we're both air signs me and you're the other i know wow that's why i'm your child

me and liz went to a bar this weekend and met um were they a couple no but i wanted them to be i feel like it was like they were like tension yes they were on the edge of being a of hooking up yeah we heard them talking and one of them was a gemini and one of them was a libra and liz was like they're talking about how one of them should we should i interrupt them and tell them that it's fine it's gonna work out because you're both air signs and you're both dual signs like and then they did and then liz did interrupt them yeah well they eventually came over to sit down with us yeah um and that might have something to do with our third friend who joined us who while i was downstairs ordering a drink we heard this thud and the bartender and i looked up

we're like what was that and it turns out our friend who joined us uh was recreating a sex act and fell over whilst throwing her legs behind her head legs went over her head as she fell back she like almost did like a back flip and it was just me and her up there and the cut the two people that were sitting at like near us were like oh my god and I just like sat there and I was like the one who approached us was like did you do that on purpose because it happened like so slowly it was really in slow motion I just looked at her and I was like there's no back on that chair I didn't know what else to say because I was like I didn't want to make a big deal out of it because I didn't want to embarrass her so I was like there's no back

on that chair and i just looked like a bitch after she fell and yeah hey there isn't a back on that be careful there's no back on the chair um but the people were like oh my god are you are you okay and she was like yeah i was just picturing a penis in my vagina she like screamed it at them did i tell you this no and i'm so glad i was not around for that i think i would have dismissed myself yeah it was a lot so here are some um top and bottom questions for you i'm ready um the airplane window seat the window seat bottom it gives it's giving bottom what about the aisle seat aisle seat is top okay um because because if you're a window seat person you're like you enjoy being a passenger and we all know the passenger the usual passenger is the bottom

like when you imagine yourself sitting down in a car and it's like someone tells you to put on your seat belt which side do you go for that tells you and i just get i just get aisles top energy from aisle seats okay i like it because they want to be able to jump get up and go to the bathroom yeah yeah and not be on anyone else's time or have to be like excuse me and to go potty yeah that's actually exactly why i always do the aisle even though i fucking hate the aisle because i like to sprawl i hate the aisle because everyone's walking past you yeah and they're always like elbows if you're past like a certain i like a certain row then everyone's just like walking back and forth and waiting next to you and i hate that shit yeah i want to look out the

window and listen to lord and pretend i am the main character in a melodramatic teen movie hell yeah a coming of age story that's what i i like that's inspiring above all else thank you all right moving along um dude's named keith keith i hate that name yeah um dude's name keith i picture what do you picture when you picture someone named keith i picture like white new balances interesting and like dad new balances yeah okay and like the khakis that like zip off so you're picturing like a dad but like no just like dad like a young person dressed like a dad yeah i picture someone with kind of like like a very skinny man maybe perhaps a rock climber um and he has scraggly hair but he rolls his beanie up so it's very tiny oh you know those

kinds of guys yeah yeah the tiny beanie guy tiny beanie guy he goes to like rock climbing gyms like four four to five days yeah like maybe he uses a crystal instead of deodorant damn I don't know we know different Keith's like that sounds like a Jared to me when I think about it the only person I have met named Keith is very suave oh and he was um he was my employee when I worked at Abercrombie okay and he was a great employee and he was handsome and young and well-dressed so but the name Keith yeah just do maybe it's because of the Keystone light commercials they had a stone i forgot about those um the only other being i've met named keith besides my employee is um a cat named keith that's the funniest name for a cat it's actually

gatsby's first friend keith oh my god don't say it so loud he probably misses keith maybe god look at his little face i'm fucking obsessed with him he's such a bean anyways um keith i feel like is a switch okay good answer good answer elon musk top or bottom asexual all right dope easy enough no one should no one should be having sex with him he's he's doing he's having sex purely for reproductive i was about to say so many purposes yeah and they all hate him he's reproducing like bacteria yeah well you know what that is like there are like tech people who believe that like they are they're they're in charge of the future like they need to populate the future and they're like so smart and amazing that

they're they're gonna have as many kids as possible it's weird there's like this um this overlap between like tech people who think they're smarter than they are and like traditional couples like have you heard people say like trad wife yeah yeah like that's what i mean when i say traditional my therapist told me about trad wives yeah i had no idea that was it's a weird thing yeah like the the tech couple to trad wife pipeline um okay one more okay moths moths i this is particularly triggering for me because i'm having a moth problem the cats are loving it i'm sure no they're not doing shit they're not lazy little gremlins i'm like this is your one

job as a cat to catch pests and you're not doing that they'll like look and then it'll disappear they're like all right i guess that's it meanwhile my clothes are getting holes in them uh that fucking sucks i think uh moths are probably yeah they're tops i agree butterflies are bottoms oh wow that's my hot take nice but fucking moths yeah fuck moths but they do give big top energy it depends it depends on the moth too like right now i'm being like harassed by the little annoying guys that just like any ones oh i hate those ones they're little and they've just been like fluttering around my closet i bought all these moth traps if you go to my bathroom you'll see them hanging on the towel rack okay and then i also bought some spray so the spray works on any

bug so i killed a stink bug yesterday they have been in my home like crazy they're treating it like a motel they're just like constantly i wherever i look i see one you should text your um landlord yeah well it's always something different like for a while like my first year and a half it was ants had an ant problem too and now it's moths and then uh the stink bugs just i think they're just there are more of them this season than usual yeah because i've never had this issue where they're just i'm like how are you getting in here i i have a really fun and i vacuum them up i have a fun ant trap like um specific fact that i never thought i would be able to tell anyone and here we are what is it it's really i think it's dope but it's not actually

that cool um i'll be amazed if this makes it on the podcast um enlighten us ant traps work by having they they don't like trap the ants they they have poison in there that the ants bring back to their queen i mean they kill the queen because they can't survive without the queen they all die i had no fucking idea that's brutal that is murder suicide yeah wild why are they coming into my house i don't i don't uninvited i don't know i i don't know i'm also on the top floor how are they getting up here they're determined they're like this girl has the cat food it's just on the ground i was having an issue with drain flies that's something i didn't know existed until I had them what the fuck they they're like they look like fruit flies but they

look exactly like fruit flies but they're brown like when you look at them closely and they reproduce in your drain that's repulsive yeah I had hundreds and hundreds and I started putting out um apple cider vinegar because I thought they were fruit flies and it was catching them but there would be like 50 a day and they just weren't going anywhere and I posted online I was like what can someone help and they were like oh those are drain flies like pour the shit down your drain disgusting and i bought drain fly solution and they went away but that's terrifying yeah that's a new build they were there when i moved in you're awakening a new fear in me i'm so sorry there's a lot of things to be afraid of it's a big world

thrilling news that you are already aware of that the listeners are not i will be moving five minutes away from amelia i'm so excited um dates tbd there's a loud motion so we'll see when it happens you're like a 15 minute walk from me that's it yeah oh my god we're so close it says 20 minutes but like whenever speed walk yeah yeah like i'm a quick walker stress walk it always takes me 15 15 minutes to walk to that area and you're gonna be right there and that's fucking amazing we can get halfway and do coffee that would be lovely this is gonna make me join a cult gym which is good because i need to go to the gym with a friend so i i'm not scared we can also do uh work from home days where we work from each other's house

because it's nice to change up your environment when you work remotely we're gonna do so much cool podcast shit it'd be so annoying i think we're gonna get sick of each other a little bit probably i don't think i could get sick of you both of us live alone too yeah and that's a different kind of like lifestyle having some if i just when you want to be alone you can be you know it's nice yeah but also like i think that you and i both know each other's boundaries well that's true and i would just tell you i would just be like hey i need a little alone time i would do the same yeah and neither of us would take it personally no i'd be like i get it i tweeted this thing that was like okay i tweet about you a lot and like you don't see most of

them oh shit i don't tag you because i'm like yeah that's why i don't see it i have been i've been like not really going on social media lately um that's amazing yeah it's been nice um i was scrolling through my tweets the other day and i was like oh liz never saw this one or maybe you did you just didn't um no usually when i see you tweet about me i do like it wait i'm gonna read it okay liz trying to figure out if i'm joking about crashing all of her mr liz's date night it's like no i will i will come stare down but i will it's it's bold of you to assume that i wouldn't have already invited you he's gonna get so sick of me that's gonna be you and me staring at him yeah be like did you see yourself out she's coming she's gonna come

with us yeah so i guess better be prepared amelia's coming to our um romantic getaway our third roommate who doesn't live here yeah or pay rent you're paying rent somewhere else oh my god y'all i need to figure out what the fuck i need a job that pays better i know my god i can't imagine if i move again i'm gonna buy a place 100 because like i can't keep moving i can't do it and i know i'm gonna stick around i don't want to live anywhere else yeah i have no reason to live anywhere else but um i'm like i just my rent is absurd it's absurd i wanted to talk about the sex capades of that tennessee police department um so for those of you who might be out of the loop there was um this lady cop i i just always think of the little wayne's yeah

gas top by lady cap um there was this woman who worked for the police department and uh she and a few of her co-workers were fired for like having sex so she was sleeping with like up to six people it sounds like yeah and it's unclear if this is like consistent like consistently having sex with all of these people but um yeah she was having intimate relationship an intimate relationship with six of her co-workers and some of them were fired and some of them were just placed on leave and the ones who were fired it's because they were having sex like at the office yeah when they should have been when they were on duty you know and um what i kept seeing online is people obviously commenting on her looks which is like that's obnoxious yeah you know it doesn't matter

if it's like if you're all a cab it's like at the end of the day you still don't need to like criticize women for how they look we're we're past that point right there's other things to talk about in this yeah um but i kept seeing people like saying like it's annoying that they got fired for having consensual sex but they're not like taking into account that it was happening like while they were working yeah and the when i was thinking about it i was like i would want i would expect the same from any workplace like regardless of their job like i would want the place i work to take like sexual allegations seriously yeah or like hey yeah these people are fucking on the clock yeah at in the office yeah or like when they're supposed to be doing

cop stuff i don't know they're going to town when they should be out on the town yeah exactly out on the town not helping anyone yeah um but yeah i was the way i was thinking of it i was just like sure it's consensual and that's fine but the fact that they're doing it at work is where the problem comes in and I would expect the same repercussions at any job I have totally yeah um and I I'm just like kind of really over you know I hate cops we all know this um I just am still sick of the misogyny that comes along with like making remarks about how women look yeah it's boring totally um but this tweet that I had showed Amelia when we were preparing to talk about this there it was like you may not like it but this is what peak sex kitten looks like and i clicked on it um because i

was like is this the same woman it's like two women who look very similar and one of them is um obviously the police woman we were talking about and then the other one is like basically like a bitcoin scammer oh shit yeah um her name is hold on let me find it that's really funny because a lot of people are like who is this oh her name is caroline ellison and the the bitcoin bros she's like a whole topic in the bitcoin bro community um and i think it's because she was like so she was committing fraud with bitcoin but then also uh or maybe just like cryptocurrency in general but also she like had like admitted that they don't really have a lot of like security infrastructure or something yeah anyways she is very young um 30 under 30 and uh the guy that

like founded the company that she worked for because she like became the sole ceo quickly i don't know but she was hooking up with this guy and they all they like lived a whole bunch of them lived on an island in the bahamas where they were all just like sleeping with each other yeah um yeah it was like a sex island of these tech nerds and she had i would watch that reality show she like honestly yeah and she posted something on her tumblr about how like she has strayed away from the trad life of like monogamy and was exploring polyamory and she said that she thinks the only way like polyamory would work is if it were a Chinese industrial harem basically so she wants it to be like competitive where you know you're like ranking with the other people

that you're sleeping with and if you want to move up in that rank you have to like be very aggressive and in your pursuit of that yeah so I was just like imagining it like just if that were how it operated like yeah I don't know just fighting it sounded like a cult to be honest I was like no this is that's a cult you're describing a cult where everyone's fighting to fuck one guy it's also like nature hierarchy like that's like how like birds do it right I mean maybe that works i don't know yeah but it has been interesting to see the commentary on these two women yeah it's you know it's really when i was reading up on this before we were recording what's pretty sad about this is that her the cop's mental health is not where it should be which i heard and i don't

know i didn't verify this but it was from a very trusted source i i had read that in an article that well that um what i was about to say is that they don't allow cops to go to therapy because they don't want it's like pilots can't be prescribed adderall because they don't want pilots with adhd it's like they don't want cops that have like fragile mental health so they don't let them go to therapy that is not how that works yeah right like like if anything it'll improve their mental health right and like a job like a pilot you are taken away from your family you're like traveling around and you don't get to see your family as often as like a traditional nine-to-five job and you just expect everyone who has that job to just like be okay with it that's

not how being a person works right and then this is maybe the only time i will defend cops is like it is expected that that may become a dangerous job so yeah of course you're not gonna be in like the best mental state they see when you're just like expected to put your life on the line even though we like don't always see that and we see cops do a lot of stupid shit yeah i'm sure it also is like that because they don't have a trusted person they can talk to about their mental health right they're like they're kind of kept to the standard of like being like macho because they're a gang cops are all it's a gang like they're like what they like want to appear macho and like alpha and when there's like a woman in the police force too like there's all this stuff

about her having like a drinking problem and um there was one instance where she held um an unloaded gun up to her temple and and um pulled the trigger because she wanted to hear what it sounded she wanted to hear what it sounded like which is very dangerous because there could have been one in the chamber but that's not like healthy mental health behavior yeah and now this person is out supposedly being like a civil servant yeah right so it's just like there's i mean there's a lot here that's like and i'm certain that the like public scrutiny is probably not helping with her mental health either which is especially because they're all focusing on like her the way she looks and then also like you know her sexual history of you know what people might

deem as like promiscuous but you know whatever if if she has a strained agreement with her husband that they are going to be in an open relationship that's none of my business right um i just yeah that's been like the most annoying thing to me is i'm just like yeah criticize cops for not doing their job both when they are allegedly doing their job and when they're having sex with each other like do that don't focus on like who she's having sex with and what she looks like yeah because that's unfair well it also like what is it adding tribute to anything i know yeah that was like when trump was president and people were like talking about melania being like such a slut and it's like what good what are you what are you doing yeah what is contributing to the conversation

nothing how is that gonna like change anything that was like while we were talking about cops i was thinking about i've been a lot of my time recently like when i'm like reading the news and like consuming media has been um reading up on what's going on with the idaho murders oh and yeah i haven't kept up on that at all i know way too much about it it's like seeping into my dreams this whole the idaho case has like given me this whole i don't want to sound like a bootlicker i never still still not a fan of cops i'm gonna say that up front but how the police force in idaho has handled this case has been fucking incredible to watch like they were on to this guy so so so so so long ago and didn't tell anybody and like because they were they knew

that he this guy is like so intelligent like he had planned this whole thing out like to a tee and so they knew that if he got on if he was like letting on that they knew that it was him then he would have done he would have like hit or like been harder to find yeah yeah and not been able to like hold him accountable right but like the things that these cops had to see in that house was horrible and then they have to like go about their lives and just like and like be up against like public scrutiny again of like you guys aren't doing anything and knowing that they are and also that they've seen all of this fucking horrible shit but the thing that ties into what i wanted to talk about today was today it was released that apparently Brian Koberger the alleged murderer

was messaging one of the victims on Instagram a lot and she wasn't replying and I'm assuming it was Kaylee because she was like the most um like badly stabbed um and it was it made me think like there it was kind of assumed this guy was an incel for a few reasons that i won't get into but it's so scary to think about like the measures that some people will take when the and who knows if this was actually the reason everyone's looking for a reason why he did this because like it's very like 99 of the time when murders are committed it's done by somebody that the victim knows it's almost never random and this guy had driven past the house 12 times leading up to the murders from August to November his cell phone pinged in the area 12 times so like he had been

planning this out and now they're saying that like he might have been messaging one of the victims a bunch and it's just it's just it's scary to think about like what I don't think that like men like always understand how scary it is for us like to date or just like to be talking to dudes and it's like when we don't respond like how scary that could be and if we turn them down outright how scary that could be because like you don't know what people are capable of it's so fucking scary and then like we like meet people on these dating apps that they're complete strangers and they can they can just make up who they are they've gotten a story like that from a listener where yeah she went on a date with someone from a dating app who lied about his name and ended up

being a dangerous person yeah yeah it's it's terrifying and like you see people like Brian Koberger have you seen a picture of this guy um like now we look at him I'm sure I'm gonna show you I'm now we look at him and we're like oh that guy looks fucking scary but like I don't know if I saw him on the street if I would think that he was scary and people are coming out saying they had been on dates with him and like talk about like talking about like those experiences and um how like he was like pretty polite on the date but then he like insisted on coming up to their apartment with them and then like this girl just pretended to be throwing up in the bathroom so he would leave because he wouldn't like leave he wouldn't stop standing outside the bathroom

door waiting for her so he just left um and then he texted her right after and was like you have really great childbearing hips ew yeah and then that was the last that she heard from him but she was like that could have been me if this is him oh yeah he does have the he has uh the sanpaku eyes where it's all white around his eyes like he's definitely someone who would be off-putting to like see and talk to but totally but i wouldn't be like yeah you wouldn't immediately be like this guy's a serial killer right exactly so it's just like it's scary and i need to like stop myself from talking about this case because i will i i know too i know too much and it's so