The Hoely Hour - E122 Motel Pool Sex

Episode Date: February 3, 2023

Amelia ended (started?) her year with her very first UTI! Amelia unlocks Liz's buried embarrassing memories and they both read listener emails with some very shocking details. (Awoo! Jump scare!) Topics range from non-consensual cheating, nipple kinks, and actually insane ex-husbands. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. like it would be nice to not have the level of consciousness to know that feelings are important i just want to be a jellyfish yeah i would love to be just floating around welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad-free on Patreon at patreon.com slash theholyhour.

Check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com. My parting gift from the last guy that I dated was a UTI. Yeah, I recently ended things with someone and congratulations thank you so so much you're welcome i mean how recent was that that was like earlier this month it was pretty recent i feel like yeah it was either early this month or like late last month yeah you you brought in the new year oh as a single woman yes yeah well technically you kind of were but yeah it was a complicated situation but um he was staying at

this like motel in florida and like it was one of those motels that had like the pool that was like really gross and like you can just picture predictable a motel pool in florida yeah on like in like a little coastal town in florida disgusting this town is called hollywood um also just to preface this amelia is about to tell us how she got a uti so i am afraid of this gross pool now yeah the gross pool give you uti well i don't want to get ahead of myself yeah yeah i don't want to spoil the ending so here's what happened what had happened was we were laying by the pool and he was like he was like bring your bathing suit when you come to the pool and i was like okay well i'm not gonna go in the pool because i don't want to get a yeast infection

or uti and he was like what do you mean like there's chlorine and i'm like but there's like so many poop particles and i'm like not getting in this fucking disgusting ass pool and also the pool like there were multiple iguanas having fight night in the trees and knocking each other out of the trees and it would they would hit the concrete so loud and they were fine they're fucking iguanas but like it would make a lot of noise and like we would like hear them tossing in the trees it was bananas it was the weirdest place i've ever been but anyway i thought you're about to say the iguanas fell into the pool which would have been fucking hilarious so they do and at my parents condo whenever there is a an iguana in the pool they have to drain the pool because

they have all this bacteria on them and like this motel 100 does not take that kind of precaution this guy that you're talking about seems like the type of guy who would think that swimming in the pool or like a lake or the ocean counts as a shower or a bath one of many complaints also my dad made this mug i'm that's cool i'm also sorry that's very cool i'm still trying to process the disgusting information you have just provided me my second adderall has not kicked in yet um but so he swam in the pool and then it was the last time he was in the pool for a while and it was the last time that I was gonna see him before I was gonna go home and like we had already discussed that like we weren't gonna see each other anymore so like he walked me back to

the hotel the motel room um and there's nothing wrong with motels but like it's important that I call this place a motel because it's it had motel energy it had big big like stereotype motel energy and so he walks me back and like we like do a quickie before i leave and and he's like has that shower he was just in iguana poop pool and iguana chlorine dick yeah and then it was like literally 30 seconds it was like the quickest of quickies and then i i left so i didn't pee so then i drove back with like iguana poop pool like penis germs in me woke up the next day with a cute little yeast infection or sorry not even UTI I with my first UTI oh this is your first UTI never had a UTI I think to be honest I I would rather have a UTI over a yeast infection because

I feel like a UTI is a little easier to treat because you know you have to decide between um it hurts a little when you pee and you might pee blood and you feel like you constantly have to pee or your vagina is super itchy yeah and that's uncomfortable see both are deeply uncomfortable the torture of the uti was that i the torture of the uti sounds like the torture of the uti that's gonna be the title the title of this episode the torture of the uti is that like i was waking up like every hour to pee for two days and then i finally put it together that i had a uti because i'd never had one so i didn't know what it felt like but i was like why do i keep feeling like i have to pee but i don't have to pee and then it would burn and then i told my

mom and like i mean it burns when i pee mom my parents listen to the podcast so i was like my i think i have a uti and she was like uh our 29 year old daughter yeah mommy i can't i mean congratulations you've made it this long without getting a uti yeah well i've never i usually make do this like fucking shower after being in a disgusting pool before yeah and then I usually remember to pee but I was like get me the fuck out of this place so I didn't not one of my finer moments but um I had worked with this company this is gonna be like free advertising for them called Wisp for like my social media stuff that I do they were like one of my sponsors and they mail you medication for like yeast infections UTIs they send birth control like no questions

asked um straight to your house and you don't need a prescription no they have doctors that work there so you like oh fuck yeah you fill out like a survey and then like the doctor reviews it and so like you find out within like an hour if you can get the meds and they'll also send it to your um pharmacy so you don't have to wait for it to ship if you don't want to it's so nice so i got an antibiotic and it cleared it up right away and then i got um boric acid have you ever tried this i've only heard of boric acid to kill ants what isn't that what it is borax borax um no i don't know it might be no no i i think i'm wrong i'm pretty sure i'm wrong okay boric acid yeah so they sent me boric acid which um they're little pills that look like you're supposed to swallow

them but on the bottom it says for vaginal use only and you like shove them up your vahine before where you go to sleep and yeah that's like what you do if you have a yeast infection right but eggs yeah you launch them into your vagina exactly it's like that but it's it just helps and then it gets all melty it gets right but if you have to pee it slips sorry i'm reliving my your teenage trauma monostat trauma yeah yeah no this stuff is incredible it's um i saw somebody talking about actually i think you might have sent it to me about the woman the lesbian woman who was talking about how she can make sure her vagina doesn't smell no i did not send this to you so it was this video of her explaining like no i'll tell you how you can make sure your vagina

doesn't smell and she brought up a bunch of things but one of the things that she said was boric acid and it like neutralizes like the acidity in your vagina which is why it's good for utis and yeast infections too but it also helps with any bad smells which brings me to my last point with this whole saga i my last this is so fucking gross my last symptom before i knew that it was a uti was that my vagina smelled like straight up fish and i was like did this man give me an sti and i looked online and they were like could be a uti and i was like oh fuck that everything makes so much sense now um so that's gonna say uti or um bacterial vaginosis yeah you don't even have to have sex to get that no it's awful i've had that i had that too it's so bad i had it after i got my

iud and i think it's because i didn't wait long enough to have sex oh because they didn't tell me i had to oh yeah you just said oh in three different ways i loved it yeah they didn't tell me anyways um holy shit yeah also you can you can take azo too i'm pretty sure azo is just over the counter the one that told me about azo yeah and then my friend who is a nurse told me the same thing she sent me a picture of azo and she also sent me a picture orange what that's fun uh-huh it's just super super concentrated cranberry and probably some other stuff nice but yeah it makes your pee orange but it takes care of it real quick that sounds miserable it was bad i'm sorry that's how you had to end end the year i had a uti while i was flying home so that was oh no but i

had an aisle seat so i got to stand up and pee like 50 times but everyone there were multiple people that i made eye contact with every time i was walking to the bathroom on the flight that were like is she okay they're probably like please don't shit please don't shit they're about like does this woman have diarrhea no it doesn't smell so just a uti you should have walked past him i have a uti sorry i have a uti motel pool sex yeah you get it right don't recommend that sucks anyway thanks for listening to my um thanks for sharing i had to get it off my chest thanks for sharing in this safe space i feel lucky to have it the safe space that we created to share with the general public thank you us yeah thank you thank you us me and liz

went out on saturday friday i don't know friday was it no we went out yeah was it friday i think so anyway we're like hanging out more and more outside of doing podcast stuff it is so nice it is really nice i i forgot what it's like to socialize you know honestly kind of same also my weekends always get sucked up by mr liz but he's in japan right now all right shall we yeah we're gonna do a little mailbag episode and read some stories to you the title of this one is spicy slash help does it count as cheating if the person was too drunk to consent hi liz and amelia the most recent pod diverged into talking about cheating and made me want your perspective on the drama going on in my life sorry this is long as shit but there's a lot going

on in this story i tried my best to be quick and coherent feel free to abridge if you end up using it on the air i'm not going to abridge okay hell no no i was invested the entire time i was reading this um they also included a trigger content uh trigger slash content warning uh am i the asshole ish infidelity slash cheating consent friend breakups depression mention of alcoholism feeling lost and looking for perspective tldr does it count as cheating if the person was too drunk to consent and then in parentheses it says i'm the person context first off i feel like an a-hole i know what happened was not okay and i and now i'm at the center of a friend group implosion but i need an outside perspective i 28 female and my husband 35 male let's call him n

have been together for about eight years and married for about a year and a half i have an old friend 28 f of about 18 years that i have been having a lot of frustration with over the last few years we have had fights over the years and gone periods of time without talking but always find our way back to being friends lately our whole friend group constantly talks shit about her behind her and her husband's back and has become very toxic there has been a lot of drama around her especially the last few years she is also a big personality and can be annoying to people and honestly it's honestly is a little narcissistic and does the whole love bombing thing with her friends the friend let's call her l and her husband let's call him a just got married this

past fall and have a not have non-traditional rules in their relationship she is bisexual and they have established that she's allowed to hook up with other women he would prefer if he was there too but is okay with her being the other woman without him to my knowledge this has happened twice thus far both without him involved once last summer where all rules were followed and once at her bachelorette party oh god i was matron of honor with his stepsister and her girlfriend it had been established that the stepsister was off limits but this is a whole other conversation oh my god it's fucking insane the point is she has a tendency to get shit-faced and hook up with people that are not her husband she has a tendency to get shit-faced in general

she has admitted that once she starts drinking she is not able to stop herself she clearly has a problem with alcohol she has recently started therapy again and this is one of the topics of concern she has a lot of personal trauma and a handful of mental diagnoses she also has a history of casually cheating on past partners this is not common knowledge but i know everything about her and vice versa i am also bisexual and ellen i have hooked up like twice before years ago pre-meeting my now husband but in my opinion it never qualified as sex and more of just fooling around it has always bothered her that i think that because i think she considers what we did to be sex but i dated a woman for two years and can attest that it does not qualify apparently the

second time we fooled around she was purposely trying to make it so i couldn't claim that we hadn't had sex but still it didn't qualify to me unfortunately i also cheated on my ex-girlfriend let's call her m back in the day with my ex-boyfriend i was a literal child high school plus my first year of college at the time and it is not something i'm proud of was also never intercourse if that matters m and i stayed platonic friends all these years me her and my husband were in each other's weddings and everything water under the bridge we've worked through it but i was up front with my now husband about it when we first started dating i wanted him to have context of who m was to me and honesty is very important to me she will always have a special place in my

heart at the time he asked me to break up with him before ever cheating on him i could tell it made him uncomfortable but we talked about it in detail and how i regret it and that put him to ease the juicy part in early december we hosted a big friend secret santa exchange there were 12 of us in total six couples me and my husband l and a m and her husband and three other couples in our friend group the exchange itself went great i think everyone was pretty satisfied with their gifts and everyone seemed to have a good time but i got much drunker than i had planned to slash ever do i have been cutting back in general my husband and i would like to conceive in 2023 and i have been trying to only drink socially so it's not as shocking to me if i have

to quit suddenly so i think i have lost sight of my tolerance also i made the mistake of breaking two of my personal drinking rules one i can't mix wine and liquor because it usually makes me sick two i shouldn't drink brown liquor mostly whiskey to excess because i tend to throw things like these hands thanks for that jean dad i normally drink red wine but at this party i started with white wine because i had it left over from something after i finished the wine bottle i switched to white claw at some point we also started doing picklebacks jameson whiskey chased with pickle juice if you are not familiar and i enthusiastically drank them even though i knew better the guests swindled down and my husband had to go to bed because he had work early the next

day it was friday and he worked saturdays eventually it was just me l and her husband a we talked a bunch had a couple more drinks I showed them some Christmas crafts I was working on it was a nice time and it was getting really late so A was trying to convince L to go home but she wanted to stay and continue the happy friend time she and I were having it has been a long time since we'd had a good one-on-one night together because she's been irritating the shit out of me the last few years I stopped trying to set stuff up with her and she never sets anything up anymore he agrees to go home himself and she will stay on the couch at my place and find her way home in the morning so we keep talking and she asked to do more picklebacks

again I enthusiastically agreed because I was hammered and making bad decisions I remember the drinking I remember moving to the living room to continue talking and then I blacked out and I never black out like it's happened maybe twice my whole life and never for long periods of time and nothing crazy has happened to me during a blackout but given what I have outlined I guess it's not surprising the next thing i remember we were making out on the couch and we were not fully clothed about about the time it registered to me what the actual fuck was going on she was asking to go further and i basically said no i'm going to bed and i covered her with a blanket and picked up my clothes and went upstairs to bed she was gone before i got up the next day the next day i

felt absolutely awful about what happened i still do i wish it had never happened i do not remember how it got to that point she and i texted about it briefly to see what the other remembered which was not much neither of us claim to know how it started but she does have a history of getting hammered and kissing people that aren't her husband so the only scenario i can imagine is that she made the first move and i never would have consented to what happened if my head was conscious for it i feel violated and ashamed about the whole thing we were both very drunk so the lines of consent feel blurred but that's how i feel and l and i have discussed how me and and have different rules in our marriage than her and a do so she should have been aware this wasn't

okay for me so does what i did with l count as cheating she included some additional information and i'm just going to read a couple parts of it i told him after new year's and at this point i knew exactly what i wanted to say i had already decided that i will cut off l and go no contact with her i apologized profusely through sobs and he said he could tell i was remorseful and believed i would not have done it if I wasn't blacked out he said he isn't slash doesn't want to be mad at me but he's clearly pissed and very hurt we've had a lot of smaller fights about it and displaced anger about it and has caused fights to multiply I know that my high school cheating is playing a role in his head we've established that we need couples counseling but we're working through it he does

refer to what happened as me cheating though and it really hurts me every time that comes up because I don't feel that I consented to what happened yeah this is it's spicy and it's complex it really is and I'm having a hard time trying to like I'm I'm trying to put myself into her shoes based on like what she's going through with this experience that's that she's very obviously remorseful about and then also put myself in her husband's shoes who like is hurt by the situation and I'm trying to like I'm trying to think of how I would feel and I think there's a difference between the people that I have dated telling me that they were blacked out and kissed someone when they were blacked out and like the actual reality of being not able to consent so I think

that it's tough for me because like my it's clouded how I feel about it is clouded with like my past experiences with this kind of stuff because even when people told me that they were blacked out and like could barely remember I was still like fuck you you know like you still did you still did it but at the same time like this writer this listener like I said is very very clearly upset over what happened and like doesn't remember how it started and like that's really tough because it can feel like it's two different people like you weren't like lights were on and nobody was home and that's tough so it's it is super complex it is I think that people call everybody has different definitions of cheating in general like some people call flirting cheating

some people call like getting someone's number cheating it is important like this is a little bit of a sidebar I think it is important with any partner you have to like define what cheating means to each of you like I would still define emotional cheating as cheating like I don't care if you hooked up but if you have feelings for this person and then i i'm out um emotional cheating to me is worse than physical cheating both suck yeah but i would feel shitty about both i think i'd feel equally shitty about both things i just remembered when i got cheated on what hurt the most was thinking that maybe they had an emotional connection like you know like i mean cheating period fucking blows but it was like the the emotional aspect of it it's like do they have

a better connection than we have oh god that would fuck me up worse but anyway um so obviously this is not a black and white situation and i'm thinking about all of the different dynamics here you know like um both her and her friend are bisexual women and they've also been friends for a really long time like i don't know about you but i've made out with a few of my friends i haven't um so i think that i mean i've been a dumb bitch in college just making out with my friends um I would make out with anybody so I could like see myself being like so fucked up that I was just being like no I'll make out with my friend um without really any other intention um and also I mean I have made out with people when I've been blacked out and like had no memory

I remember I was at a party and um I was like flirting with this guy and he was like do you remember the last time you were at a party here it was his house and i was like kind of and then he was like we made out at that party and i was like what the fuck yeah i was like i have no memory that was patricia and he was so cute i was like pissed i didn't remember it anyways um yes but like to like all that in general it can happen like it's not i I think it's possible. But then I'm thinking on the other end, because I also feel like a lot of the times cis, cis men don't take bisexuality seriously, like they're not like if it's if they're smart,

they're going to understand that their bisexual partner is also like attracted to this, their same gender. so um I don't know like yeah like I can see why he's not minimizing it because he knows she's bisexual but like he could be not taking it as seriously as maybe he would have if she had done this with a man it's I that's interesting that you say that because like I I have some friends who are partnered and they are like bi or pan and like whenever they female hang out with another woman he doesn't care but then when she's with one of her male friends he like gets a little like oh and like my friends that have been in this situation have had to be like it should bother

you the same amount for both i also wonder if it's because like this is gonna this is gonna be kind of a loaded thing to say like men are more disrespectful of someone in a relationship a lot of men would say the same yeah that's my conclusion it's just like more often a man is going to be disrespectful of another woman's relationship with like a guy he doesn't know so why would he care i yeah i also think like there might be like a kind of a competition like a biologically based this is like season one Amelia talking but um like I think that there is a biological basis of like competition between men too but at the same time I always thought when I was with my ex that like if he had feelings for a man I wouldn't care as much and that was like my

own insecurity at play like because I was always comparing myself to other women I was never comparing myself to to men I mean you also have to give yourself like a little bit of grace because you can't compare yourself to a man yeah like no matter what you do you are going to be different than a man totally yeah absolutely I and I don't think that I would have realized that it would that it bothered me until I was dating a guy for a while and he made out a straight guy and he made out with a gay man in front of me and I was like so upset because it was like he didn't consider it cheating and like there were so many layers of that that were offensive it's like okay why not you know like because you don't have feelings for them and that kind of brings it back to this

story it's like what what's considered cheating and like what isn't like if feelings are involved or if like because he was also fucked up drunk and he did it in front of me while I was standing there watching when we weren't dating other people you just unlocked a memory I have from I went to sorry to interrupt no it's fine this is urgent um when I was dating my ex like the one that was like the more long-term one um I went to a company party with him and one of his friends is a lesbian and like I don't know she was like let's all touch tongues the three of us and then she and I like made out and then he and I made out and then the two of them made out what the fuck because I was like now you guys have to kiss and then I could tell she probably didn't want to do that but like

she would always joke like um like we'd I'm a hand holder but her hands get sweaty so we'd hold pinkies and she's like I love this because I can pretend Liz is my girlfriend and I told him like the next day I was like I feel really guilty because like she's gay and like you and I are in like a monogamous relationship so it felt like in some way i was stringing her along but yeah i completely buried that memory i've never heard that story yeah and when that happened with the guy that i was dating you never told me that story so it really just got on yeah that's so funny i was pretty fucked up at that yeah i had the the the shame over oh my god that's the worst feeling it's the worst feeling no that was the night that i had to like drag him literally

drag him out of a it looked like yeah he was supposed to be dd right yeah and then he was drinking he got me a drive drunk yeah he well he drove like down the block drunk which is still driving drunk but like you know that was his rationale um and i i drove i had to drag him out of the bar and somebody recognized me from the internet as i'm dragging him out of the bar which was to this day probably one of my most embarrassing moments he was like hold on a second and it was at um a gay bar and like at that i love i love when i like reach like non-straight men somehow and so i was like i want to stand here and talk to this person but i had like the guy that i was dating like to babysit this adult man i was literally holding him up and i was like

who's nice to me but um he ended up like throwing up outside of my car for like 45 minutes anyway