The Hoely Hour - E124 Where My Sigmas At?

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

MGK cheated on Megan Fox, love is dead. Alphas are the girlboss of men, and the the Man dollar is week as the currency of male validation rapidly loses its value. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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May slow when network is busy. See terms. if you're a mommy to your kids you can't be a mommy to me yeah who's gonna cut the crust off my sandwiches who's gonna burp me who's gonna chase after me when i'm naughty you know what both of us have said a few things we don't like this episode welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia sanson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so

hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com where where should we start jesus h can we talk about some um hot topics going on in the media yeah let's do it potentially machine gun kelly potentially cheated on megan fox and here's the tea she posted she deleted all the pictures of them off of her feed posted a beyonce lyric wants your quote and lemonade you're in dangerous territory and it was a specifically a lyric about jay-z cheating and then there was a picture in the carousel that Megan Fox posted of her burning a letter she unfollowed him and she followed Eminem and they

have MGK and Eminem have some well-established beef and one of the pictures in her carousel which I didn't realize had a human trafficking poster in the background and people are saying like that there's been like abuse rumors for a while like she had a black eye and a broken wrist yeah but like I mean that those are just rumors and it's like she hasn't confirmed it but they're but like it's weird that she wouldn't cut that poster out when it's very obvious that she cropped the photo herself like it was like strange cropping so anyway and then she deleted her instagram that's the tea that is so relatable celebrities are just like us yeah damn i just think that like an obsessive relationship like that is not sustainable totally totally and

i i tweeted this today but if megan fox is getting cheated on by machine gun kelly that's already batting out of his league proof enough that it never has anything to do with you when you get cheated on because who are you cheating on her with jesus who i don't i can't think of anyone else no me neither that's how i felt about jay-z and beyonce i'm like jay-z who are you pulling that's hotter and better and cooler and more talented than beyonce i the thing is is i think that they're not exactly i think that i think that when this happens like when there's this kind of dynamic um because attractive women it dating like heterosexual men it comes with like social currency like you are now social currency for this man yeah if that makes sense

so when you have more social currency than this person like just because you're attractive and interesting they're insecure and they need to make up for that because you're obviously like visually more desirable i guess or like more sexually desired yeah that's i mean that's a good way to put it i've heard of that like social currency theory before and like sexual desirability also should not have like as much um i'm trying to think of the right word like weight yeah it shouldn't have so much weight because at the end of the day it's like is that person first of all asking to be looked at as a sexual object like without them knowing you know totally and then someone like megan fox she's used to that all the time she's probably

like sick of it i was just about to say she probably needs like a little break from it at home like um can someone just like treat me like a fucking person right who knows maybe it'll be confirmed by the time this episode comes out whether or not he cheated but it's unconfirmed as of right now i'm just like what is happening in the world so many relationships are just falling apart and all the planets are direct i'm just like what's going on maybe that's what was supposed to happen the planets are just making it happen faster could be could be damn they can see clearly now the retrograde's gone we have until uh the end of april to make sure our shit's really in place i was thinking about how this maybe this is kind of a sad conversation

well it's not sad but like we've had a lot of conversations about age and how like i mean i'm gonna be 30 in four months right or yeah i'm like i don't even know what day it is yeah i'm gonna be 30 in four months and I feel like I have to get so much shit done before June and I hate that that's just like a thought that women have I was talking to my therapist about this she called it the 30s math because like all like women do this thing where they're like okay so I'm gonna like if I want to be married by 31 then I have to meet someone yesterday and then if I want to have two kids by the time I'm 35 then and it's like I can already feel that starting and that makes me sad I have heard it referred to as the math.

Yeah. I hadn't until I brought it up to her. Yeah. Because you just start calculating like I need to meet this person and blah, blah, blah. And then we get married by this time and then we have kids. Exactly. And then by that point, it's just kind of like a sunk cost fallacy situation again. Totally.

Where you're like, well, fuck, I've already invested all this time. That's why I have just thrown any sort of expectation. out the window yeah that's kind of where i'm at now and like i really have gotten a lot done in my 20s and like my 20s also fucking sucked so i'm like really excited for my 30s yet to meet one person who's like i loved my 20s but then there's also something that like i'm i'm up against right now where i'm like the whole idea of like forbes 30 under 30 i think is kind of fucking me up because it's like oh if you don't accomplish like a big thing by the time you turn 30 then like you wasted your 20s have you heard of the 30 to 30 under 30 to prison pipeline

no so many people who are on 30 under 30 end up like in prison because they're they're fucking scammers they're just like sociopathic fraud mlm weirdos was sam bankman freed on the 30 under 30 i'm sure he was probably i'm up against this thing now but i know like i'm gonna like 30s are great 30s is still so fucking young i've been saying this your 30s are the 20s of like that's this like second chapter of adulthood does that make sense like your 20s you age so much because you're just like changing from being a teenager yeah and you realize that life is really hard for no reason it's hard because we made it this way that's so true that is it is identity crisis it's the age range that um lets you learn really it really shoves it right in your face yeah i don't know

if it lets you learn so much as it makes you learn it forces you to that's true you really don't have a choice it's exhausting it is but anyway so yeah when like thinking about all planets being direct until april i'm like oh great i got it i gotta make good use of this fucking time everyone has everyone seems to be very into valentine's day this year you know what i mean like i don't know if necessarily like you know established couples like long-term couples care so much but like new relationships and people who are like single have you been seeing a lot yeah i think it's because i was thinking about this earlier today i think that the algorithms are pushing valentine's day stuff to the top honestly big valentine yeah the internet

run by big valentine or just the candy heart they're like we know we taste like shit but we're fun heart-shaped chalk yeah i sort of love those though i know i'm like oh a little bit i unironically liked those i really liked when they're just the right amount a right amount of chewy yeah and the right amount of chewy and crunchy all the little sayings on them yeah that used to be so exciting to read when we were kids too cute yeah you up you up you out i saw this video on tiktok today of this girl that got her boyfriend's face tattooed on her throat and it's like a very very ugly ugly tattoo oh no which made me think about how people are there's this trend right now yeah it's like right now it's all it's fucking

awful people were like this isn't even my neck and i'm pissed but there's this trend on tiktok of like if you try to draw pedro pascal badly it still looks like pedro pascal which then led me to think if you were to get a tattoo of any celebrity on your neck on my neck yeah life or death oh my god you can't choose death who would it be i i really have to think about this because there are so many problematic people i know and and how many people do we have like we have until the end of time for them to do something problematic that's true you know so maybe i should pick someone who's already dead i was just about to say that like mr rogers oh yeah but then you have a tattoo of an old man on your neck i think every everybody is going to look like an old man

as a tattoo as you age as you age yeah the tattoo also looks older so you might as well start old um do you have an answer no i'm thinking while you think i'm like what celebrities do i was thinking about asking you and then i didn't even consider that you would ask back um maybe like tom hanks that's a good one because he's not gonna fuck up and i'm going on the record and saying that yeah he's not gonna fuck up um and he was such a huge part of my childhood i think i would probably pick um joan of arc we're just going way back because i think she's inspirational hell yeah um i don't necessarily know if i'm like yeah on board with the religious thing but the fact that she in her time motivated

a bunch of french men to win a war yeah or maybe it was just a battle i think they just want to battle but I think that's cool hell yeah during that time a woman to motivate she she's called like um the face that launched a thousand ships or something like that I have heard that and I didn't know it was about her yeah god bless her yep that's a good person to have on your throat you know what your answer is better than mine I'm changing my answer I'm just going back so no one can yeah no you can she can't be canceled can you imagine somebody canceling Joan of Arc i mean i could in this day and age i could because we have lost all ability to have a nuanced conversation online that's so fucking sad i saw this tiktok last night or maybe a couple

days ago where this woman was like us before we had the baby and then it's like her and her now ex-husband like being all cute and whatever and then it's like us after and then um it is that scene of like nate storming past cassie in euphoria and she's like sad and then one of the comments was like you need to rephrase that don't blame this on the kid i'm like in what context is she is she doing that if anything it's just she's saying my husband is a dick and couldn't handle having kids everybody is so fucking annoying i posted this thing on tiktok liz knows this of like it was like an adhd red flag filter and i was like don't use this to diagnose yourself because people do that shit and i got two hate videos made that was like yeah yeah that's that's

rich like coming from you don't understand what we've been we have to self-diagnose it's like not from a fucking filter i hope the fuck not like this i don't know people are just looking for shit to be fucking mad about you didn't represent my entire personal experience in this 15 second video it just must be so exhausting you made about yourself looking for reasons to be upset just sounds exhausting we just need to as a collective like chill the fuck out everyone needs to calm the fuck down everyone needs to breathe not everything needs to be so polarized amen like let's let's trust each other to have a nuanced conversation because we all know how to do that we do that in our friendships we do that in our relationships we do that at work

we we can handle this okay so don't just like assume because someone didn't explicitly say what you think and want means that they're just like by default gonna disagree with you amen that's so annoying thank you for attending the church of liz thank you yeah thank you that was a good sermon that's my tidbit for the day um i changed my throat tattoo answer okay amelia Earhart. Ooh. I can't even see my phone. I was like in the middle of trying to get a hair off of my tongue while saying my name. Amelia

Lea. Amelia. Uh-huh. Can't say my own name. Amelia Earhart for sure for multiple reasons but the most important of which badass bitch. The baddest asses of bitches. The baddest of asses. Amen.

The baddest asses of the bitches. Of bitches. The badassiest there we go of bitches that feels good that did feel good but felt good coming off of my tongue i that did not feel good nope nope at all wish i could take it back um i was talking to one of my friends yesterday after skiing and i can't even remember how we started talking about it but uh i was like yeah i recently saw this thing explaining like men aren't up against other men to date women they're up against a woman's solitude like sense of peace

that she feels in solitude and it's so true like when you're just alone if you've if you've done the work like it's so peaceful yeah well and I was also thinking about how anytime a couple like goes through like a not a great breakup like and I've only noticed this for heterosexual couples um like anytime a couple goes through a bad breakup the guy does zero work on himself and immediately rushes into a new relationship to be like look I'm doing better and then the woman always always goes on this just like self-improvement glow-up journey like they get really into like a very niche hobby um and then like do something like interesting with maybe their hair or like they get really like buff or something um it's just it's so fun to watch

it's i'm just like of course i'm not rooting for anyone to break up necessarily but unless they should if i don't know them very well i'm just like i wonder how this is gonna pan out hell yeah like one of my yeah one of my uh gym friends um her and her boyfriend broke up a while ago you know but he like rushed into another relationship and is very obvious about that he wants her to know that tale as old as time yep and then i'm like how are you feeling are you back on the on the dating apps and she's like no i don't really like feel like i want to do that i'm like okay good for you and she's just like kicking ass at the gym i don't know more and more people are pushing up like against um going on dating apps which is interesting like more so

than ever i think it's because they've lost their novelty yeah i don't know if it's also the novelty to you so much is like people just it kind of relates back to the nuance thing you feel like we're having too long of conversations it's just like you should be able to like do a quick it should be kind of like um your recruiter hiring for a job it's like okay does this match the job description i'll put you on the yes list and then we'll go on that first date do like a phone screen yeah yeah because i know we've talked about this before and it's been so long since i've been on the apps um but good for you liz i don't know what has changed since i've been on them not much um they added voice prompts after i left oh video that's a brand brand new thing and polls

oh yeah so actually a lot has changed but only on a lot of things um the times that i've like talked to someone a lot before meeting them in person in person it always falls flat so i just don't really trust like someone's ability to like be outgoing and clever or whatever it is that i'm looking for over a text to like carry that same energy yeah meeting them in person dating fucking sucks i went on my first date in six my first first date in six months and it was fine it was just fine it was fine i mean there's he's great like he's he's so fucking nice he if you had to if this date were a were a meal what kind of meal would it be you know what i mean like like one half you know those like oatmeal packs that are like half the sugar

you think it's just like a half the sugar oatmeal is it still dry or is it made it's it's made but like it's made but they didn't they didn't put enough water in so it's just a little too dry a little like stodgy um god he's probably gonna i like he told me he was gonna listen to the podcast he's actually very great not we're not compatible okay you see what i mean yeah yeah not compatible and you know what maybe for someone else he is like a decadent brunch hell yeah he might be like a like a steak oh for someone and he's cute he's hella cute ew i'm such a millennial i haven't said hella in so long he's hella cute he's hella cute bro he's hot with two t's oh my god i remember the first time my brother shamed me for spelling

hot that way was the last time i ever said hot with two t's that is how it was spelled because hot h-o-t is just the temperature or it's spicy h-o-t-t you're attractive yeah you are yeah you're sexy that's just how english works we didn't make up the rules we didn't write webster's miriam webster dictionary yeah and you know what technically he's an older millennial than you are so he's the one who made that his his group of millennial created that true we're just doing our best to find where we fit in thank you i feel i feel redeemed this you're welcome this was my this is amelia's redemption episode just for that right there but yeah no the date was fine i don't miss i don't miss dating oh i matched with um these two guys on hinge that

have like a shared dating profile i thought it was hilarious they're great and they're both really cute so i'm i think that it would be fun to go on a double date with them like their energy together seems really fun i don't know we'll see that's something i would do that is like you know what we need to rally behind bromances like what a cute bromance so to explain this to the listeners these two guys have a shared dating profile so it's a hinge profile and it has the two of them you know in it and then like answering the prompts um and then like when you match with them well because Amelia showed me and Mr. Liz when they were hanging out this weekend on my dating profile I have a clip from the holy hour of us talking about if you want to be fucked have a

fuckable personality and they messaged me and they were like we should warn you we do not have a fuckable personality and they listed like all of these red flags that I think were just fake because like nobody would admit they were fully a bit yeah they were very funny they were so funny I was on board I responded I said well I I said something along the lines of like I think christopher nolan fans are corny and i don't push toothpaste from the bottom of the tube which are both true but they don't need to know that i got it off my chest and i feel better we're gonna hate each other let's go on a date yeah hell yeah so then they suggested we go out tonight but i saw it this morning and i didn't have time to wrangle a friend so it's probably

gonna be next week yeah it's fine it's like um can i bring one of my taken friends i'm gonna hold it against you for forever she'll just be here to hang out so anyway that's another date that i'll be going on but other than that i'm so fucking done with dating let's talk about rihanna at the super bowl i did not watch super bowl um but you watched rihanna but i came home getting ready for bed and i just wanted to watch her performance i always like to watch the super bowl performance and the super bowl needed her more than she needed the super bowl she just like i got emotional i was texting amelia while i was watching it i started like tearing up a little bit because she just is like clearly like so proud of herself and then having all of her songs like

one after the other like obviously i've always liked rihanna but like i didn't realize like she has so many bangers she she does not miss no she really doesn't she has so many hits and then it like each of these like songs like took me back to like a different time in my life you know yeah um she did umbrella oh my god yeah i was in high school oh my god just like so crazy so it was fun to watch like this all of her yeah all of her songs telling a story and her being obviously pregnant yeah when she first got on stage i was like is she she's not even trying to hide it no i mean that was like an announcement for sure it is she was wearing something that like accentuated it but everybody still was like is she pregnant again because she just showed her kid's face for

the first time on tiktok so maybe that was also like a i'm about to have another one yeah here's this one to observe while you can she she teased in an interview she was like i might be bringing someone special for my performance that's so precious i know it was the baby she's so fucking she's such a baddie she just like she looked like such a badass like seeing this like pregnant woman performing at the fucking super bowl after like she just came out of hibernation like she hasn't really released anything in a while yeah no since like for like eight years yeah she just comes out to perform at the super bowl and i don't know i was just like it's incredible so impressed and happy for her and she seemed so happy i don't know asap rocky was so

hyped watching her in the audience i know he knows what he's got don't let it go that's all we want to see someone check on drake oh my god seriously oh really he got the way he was so like he took it so personally when she announced her pregnancy did he did he have like a meltdown he like unfollowed her and like i think he did some other weird shit and i was just like you have a kid you have you also have a kid and she's also what the fuck she had been with asap rocky for like a minute by then yeah yeah i think men just like i i've seen this happen several times where guys will take it personally when like a girl who is married like has a baby when and they're like oh i thought she was hot it's such a now what this is this is hurting my ego women having babies with

other men is like detrimental to men but this whole single mom thing happening on dating apps with like no single moms is on like every like problematic dating profile that i see and it's like they're like i don't want to take care of someone else's seed and it's like yeah that's the whole thing they're not it's one thing they don't want to be they're a whole they're a person yeah they're a baby but they're like another man don't know what happened like yeah the fact that you're so threatened that another man had kids with a woman is like like what if their spouse died yeah or what if they were like abusive and like this mom like was able to protect them and take them away from that household yeah exactly there's just so much power in like being a single

parent you know it's fucking hard if anything you should respect that person even more i think what it comes down to is being threatened that they know they're not going to be the priority well my yeah it's like they're they want a little baby they're a child and they don't want to have her raising another child like if you're a mommy to your kids you can't be a mommy to me yeah who's gonna cut the crust off my sandwiches who's gonna burp me who's gonna chase after me when i'm naughty you know what both of us have said a few things we don't like this episode and it came out weird who's gonna chase me when i'm a bad little boy spank my little butt that's what they want that's what they want yeah we got to the bottom of it

but i'm the alpha it's just such beta behavior to have to tell everyone you're an alpha yeah like that's embarrassing behavior real alphas don't want to be an alpha yeah real alphas uh think that shit's stupid yeah real alphas think y'all are corny as fuck ask any alpha where my sigma's at i feel like sigma's like a new thing um it's been i've heard it a few times i've heard it a little bit but like kind of recently though no like in the past like six months at least that's when i started i've always i've always heard alpha and beta i've never heard sigma until like six months ago beta cock what is sigma define sigma um so an alpha male is you know um the girl boss of men amazing and then a beta is like the gretchen wieners okay of alpha you

know yeah yeah no that's helpful and but to men it's like a beta is just like any man who is sees women as a whole person and eats vegetables or something um so so that's that's what it means to toxic male culture it's so pathetic and it's so spot on and then a sigma is supposed to be like the lone wolf like an alpha who doesn't need anybody just like a moody lone wolf so okay so like janice yes okay i like that this is turned into like yeah this is turned into a mean girls comparison because these the men who believe this shit are mean girls oh they have not mentally progressed past that point oh my god they would their heads would pop off their necks if we heard them calling them mean girls they are they're mean they are yeah yeah damn that's so true i'd

never thought of it like that all right so we're gonna read an email and it is titled love bombing and whiplash am i a self-fulfilling prophecy hi ladies i have something that i've been really caught up on and wanted an outside opinion my two close friends and i have been having the same experiences over and over on all of our last several dates over the past year we are all playing the dating app game and once in a while go on a first date and really hit it off the connection seems good conversation is easy we have stuff in common all that jazz they will bring up future things we could do together or places we could go talk about how they think i'd like their sister even disclose personal stuff to be open and honest moving forward shit like that but then

without fail every time we think oh maybe this could be a good fit they completely ghost by the second or third date it feels super love balmy like for me i've always started out a little wary and then they seem interested at first and then as soon as i open up to the idea they shut down ghost or never or i never hear from them again now i've been on two dates with this guy he's cute we're hitting it off and i'm completely convinced i'll either never see him again or maybe we have one more date ahead of us before he goes and i recognize this is a little self-fulfilling prophecy of me and he's given no signs of ghosting but damn i can't shake the feeling in the last dates i've had no red flags no reason to think they would ghost until they did until they did so

i'm just like not trusting now i know love bombing is a thing but i guess i don't understand it what causes this how do i look out for people who are going to do this and avoid it what are the red flags i'm missing thanks so much i'm a long time fan of the pod and love you both and how you normalize these taboo and tough conversations thank you so much for listening i have a few thoughts so i think that i mean i i wouldn't classify this as love bombing either i was just about to say the same thing um love bombing is aggressive it is pathological yeah it's pathological it's aggressive they're just like doing so much to make you feel like the only person in the world and like going out of their way to make you feel so special they seem obsessed

and then they will randomly rip it away and it could be like permanent or just to like get you to chase after them doing that again for you and they never will and that's how they play it um and it's way more manipulative this just seems kind of like uh I would say there there are a few things that could be happening so one of them the thing that could be happening is these guys like just want a temporary emotional connection because they're missing that in their regular friendships so that's what they're seeking out is just to be able to have an emotional connection but also just kind of analyzing this and the information we have if this keeps happening what are you doing that is the same does that make sense absolutely what kind of person is there

something in common with this type of person that you keep matching with or the conversations that you're having before you actually meet and then like if you want a different result then do something different so maybe go for a guy that you wouldn't normally go for like maybe their profile is a little boring but in person they could be really interesting you know some people just aren't good at like putting together a profile that's a really good way to put it yeah because it's like it's obviously not your fault that they're like disappearing yeah but it's also like you know if there's if this is a common thread it's like it might be like a sect of person that you're that you're dating um but also like an addendum to your first point too like

finding trying to find that like temporary connection i think too sometimes like people will think that they want something and then panic when it gets like a little bit more serious and they dip and they're gonna keep doing that until they find somebody who's like either like undeniable for them which is like says nothing about you or like they're actually like until they're actually ready they're going to keep having these same patterns because like i don't know i think i i've noticed my like i won't ghost because fuck that but like i've noticed myself in the past dating people being like this is fun i like this and then after like two or three dates being like oh god this is like going like a little bit fast i actually don't want this because that's

when shit gets real and that's what the point of dating is is like you know like learning more about someone until you you know decide that they're the one for you and some people are just immature and how they handle dipping out of that um another thing i had thought of is like the way this author is saying that like she kind of senses that this might happen this is what i learned in therapy is like when you have that instinct or feeling that it might happen it's because deep down they're behaving in a way that you are familiar with so you might not be able to recognize it consciously but like we pick as humans we pick up on people's like body language and how they talk and whatever it's a survival thing yeah yeah so um and some people are just a little bit better

at being observational than others so something instinctually in you knows that this person probably they probably have an avoidant attachment style and like it's so common for like the anxious avoidant attachment style to become a chasing thing so and you know like an avoidant person like the second like they're not chasing after you and you're kind of like open to the idea they freak out and they have to be aware of that for it to no longer like be a habit but that's what's it blows my mind that relationships ever work because like both people have to be on the same page or at least willing to work on being on the same page and continue to choose each other every day it's bonkers you have like all of this like past trauma skeletons in the

closet like working against other people's past trauma skeletons in the closet and trying to exist together and we're doing so much more than our parents ever were yeah you know yeah like past generations we're we're talking about things more in depth and understanding the psychology of our own habits and behaviors a bit more yeah

so but this is also like the million dollar question like why the fuck do people do this so these are all just obviously theories yeah yeah like I don't fucking know I'm always wondering yeah it could be any of those things but Micah is kind of telling me that this is just like

there's a common thread in the types of people they're picking and to maybe try something different yeah and then also like anticipating this feeling and like having kind of an instinct that it's gonna happen I think it's just recognizing that behavior and like knowing what's coming next yes totally like sensing avoidant behavior and yeah sensing it and then maybe like subconsciously changing how you are too not the not just the writer but like if I were anticipating this and picking up on cues I would also start pulling back which might like put the other person off because I would be like oh they're about to disappear and then I would start to get distant to protect myself like I've done shit like that so it wouldn't surprise me if

it was like and it was subconscious until I realized what I was doing so there's also just like self-protective tendencies that tend to like kick into high gear when you're like expecting somebody to be a type of way um but anyway don't be too hard on yourself I don't know if you are but I'm sure somebody that's listening that is continuously being ghosted is probably hard on themselves about it and it's like there's so many different reasons of why it could be happening and the majority of them have nothing to do with you yeah which is comforting and also frustrating a way to pick up on if something is going to change or like you know someone's about to hurt your feelings is to notice a change in pattern so um like if you text them good morning

good night whatever every single day and that that stops for a few days you can anticipate a difficult conversation is coming i'm just like i've been so in my feels lately that when this happens i like become very analytical like of behaviors like my own behaviors other people's behaviors how i'm feeling how that's connected to my behaviors how those things are patterns it's just i'm feeling very insightful lately yeah because my feelings have been hurt yeah that and like the weather's shitty and yeah we're spending more time inside than ever and all of that combined tends to create the perfect storm yeah the perfect storm for your feelings being hurt yeah and being extra sensitive to like you know what other people might be doing

like their patterns yeah oh my god yes oh my god hypersensitivity to like everybody's like energy shifting a tiny bit hate it so stressful hate it so stressful if you're already like an anxious person like anxious and anxious attached you have had to be used to people's feelings changing i wonder if like you know as women um or even i'm i'm sure that even people who only have sisters have experienced this just having to like read between the lines of what people are saying yeah does that make sense i'm sure you've experienced this in like middle school and high school there's just like this unspoken passive-aggressive language between girls and um i i don't think that is a result of how girls are i think it's a result of how

we've been socialized to be we've been socialized to compete with each other for resources and resources used to be men we used to need them for survival but now we have to have a job that's wild to think about can you imagine like leaning on the men of today for survival no no thanks no the founding fathers were like 21 i saw an interesting i'm gonna throw up about that um i saw an interesting theory about like the huge difference between like heterosexual couples now like just between men and women um and it's because like the older you know our grandparents generation they were still kind of that generation where like you did still need to rely on men for like income and whatever you know and you were the

homemaker and then our moms are that first generation of like first wave feminism like actually where women did have jobs and they were expected to work um but they were still kind of like part of that patriarchal idea of like and you're the mom so you still have to do all the house stuff so like women our age are we're seeing just like the shit our mom went through and we're like fuck that i don't want to do that i'm gonna have different standards than my mom because i watch my mom work her ass off and she's exhausted and then the the men now when they were kids they saw their mom doing fucking everything so they're expecting damn women to do everything that their mom did because they're like well my mom did it so why can't you do it holy shit it's not a matter

of can't it's that i don't want to i don't want to recreate the life my mom had that is what i had never thought about like how like the same reality that we've experienced was perceived so differently for different genders that's wild and even as men start to do more in the household they they like statistically they think that they are doing more housework than they actually are when on average women are still doing five hours more a week of like household chores so it's a lot to think about and it kind of circles back to what we were talking about earlier which is just like you're not competing against other men you're competing against like the solitude the peace the peacefulness that women have in solitude and even the support that they

get from their friends like the older I get the more I see women becoming girls girls oh yeah because um yeah we've just kind of like i've seen more women like uniting and we've all kind of grown out of this um idea of like being a pick me you know yeah because attention from men used to be seen as valuable and it no longer is it was a currency yeah it's not really no like if you if you don't want it to be an important currency to you then it's not the dollar is weak the man dollar yeah the man dollar is weak um yeah because if it's not a form of social currency to you if the attention of men is not a form of currency to you then it is worthless yeah inflation etc and i do think like when you see like these alt-right women pandering to men

it comes down to safety like they have to pander to men because their safety would otherwise be at risk that's true that's i mean that's a good point and it's it's such a currency in certain parts of the country like it really is like they there are so many women that rely and also christianity is such a huge thing they can't get divorced that's like a that's against what the bible says you know they aren't supposed to get divorced so like they have to if their husband is like bossing them around and telling them what to do like what is what are they gonna they have to do it marriage is just also kind of like an idea you know when you think about it do they even have taxes when like jesus was around probably not so like he had no idea what the fuck marriage was

who gives a fuck and it's also just like we could go so deep into this but like christianity exists to control people especially women like yeah the only reason that monogamy really exists is just because land became valuable so when men wanted to give their land to their kin or offspring they had to know who their kids were it's such a wild we talked about that on like a way way long ago episode so if you have this like religious belief that can put you in a little box and give you all these rules and tell you you're a bad person if you break them then yeah i also saw someone today call um religion and addiction whoa they were like you need to think about all of your addictions it was an older woman and she was like giving

advice for like this kind of phase of life from like your 20 age 27 to like your early 30s and it's like part of you stays what what's working stays and those things that are confusing um and make you question if they work for you they they have to go um otherwise you're just going to be stuck forever and she was like you need to look at your addictions you have addictions like alcohol drugs porn religion and I was like oh fuck yeah I am so glad that is lumped in with these things totally it can be it can become an obsession absolutely I mean a lot of people like AA is religion-based and it feels like like a replacement kind of addiction a lot of people obviously not everyone AA has been like fantastic for so many people and they haven't gone like

totally jesus i think it does depend on the person your specific like aa you know it's it's rooted like the history of aa is like one of the 12 steps is like about like finding god if you look up the 12 steps it's actually kind of nuts but anyway we don't need to get into that we don't need to get into that but like that makes so much sense that like it would be considered because like you see these people from like westboro baptist church standing outside of like children's funerals holding up like your child's in hell now posters to like get people to like go to their religion when it's like what do you think you're so deluded yeah and you're too far gone at that point like that's and in that sense it kind of does function like an addiction like it's all

you think about you you can't think about anything else i'd never thought about it like that um jesus just jesus took out two super bowl ads and churches are still not paying taxes like you spent how much money on this beautiful commercials when you could have spent that money like helping people they're definitely trying to reach people that aren't religious because those both of those ads were like google ads fuck with access to more information people are less religious yeah oh no what are we gonna do they're they're learning to help each other instead of giving us their money you know those like year-end review ads that google does where it's like the most searched phrases and it shows like people like like rejoicing and like

being like a bunch of little clips that's what the jesus commercials were and i was like what is this for i was like so fucking drawn in and if this is an adult summer camp yes i want to go if i step foot in a church i'm going to get electrocuted i just will i will be i will be smited it won't be by god but it might be no he loves me god is not a vengeful no he doesn't give a fuck he's happy that he created people that don't follow religion i bet he hasn't checked in on this project in a long time yeah he's gonna be like they're doing what yeah i tweeted today can you imagine how weird it would be for jesus to come back and see his baby picture just hanging in like all of these people's houses he'd be like i don't even look like that he's like what the is that my baby

picture why am i white who are you yeah why am i why am i white that's a good point that's so funny why the fuck am i white are y'all wearing a fucking crucifix like they for me they killed me on that that's how i died you fucking weirdo yeah we're gonna close this off today i'm gonna do one final topically relevant top or bottom oh machine gun kelly and megan fox who's the top and who's the bottom well i feel like just based on what we've seen them well because now they're broken up so it's weird but i feel like what we how we've seen them talk and what they talk about like michigan kelly was the top they clearly had like a dom sub relationship yeah and she was the sub i could see them i agree but i could also see them both do being switches yeah that's what i

that would be my other theory is they were switches you know what i think that's what it is i think they're both switches it must be because i can't figure out like every time i'm like he's just so like lengthy yeah you know he is lengthy i can't really like i just wouldn't i don't know how seriously i'd be able to take him can you can you imagine that dude has zero percent body fat and the fact that she like called him daddy in like a red carpet interview or something i wonder if he hated that or if he was like hell yeah she's just like so like i we've been proponents of this relationship in the past publicly i know i'm i'm i personally i'm disappointed me too i'm deeply disappointed i was rooting for them we were all rooting for you

how dare you just because she seemed so happy yeah and like everyone like who the fuck cares you know i just want like like a relationship like that where like the two people seem like so obsessively in love with each other i want it to be real and i want it to be healthy and work but i think the truth is just that it's not healthy yeah i can't think of a single obsessed with each other well nicole kidman and keith urban are obsessed with each other and they've lasted they're like publicly they like are nauseatingly in love with each other you know what i think your parents are like that they have a they have a healthy amount of it they're not like um telling everyone okay well people could just tell yeah exactly yeah i think that's the difference

it's like couples that have to remind everyone all the time that they're in love are usually the ones that don't work out which is why nicole kidman and keith urban are so shocking because they never shut the fuck up about it but they love each other so much he even got a tattoo of her name that is a kiss of death next he needs to get a tattoo of her face on his neck on his throat specifically on his throat oh my god all right is that the last top and bottom that was our last i just wanted to do a little topically relevant moment i think that was a good way to tie this tie this all together put a little bow on this sewed well we love you