The Hoely Hour - E13 You Oughta Know

Episode Date: September 16, 2020

Have y'all heard of The Matrix? Watch out, Theresa Caputo, Amelia is the new witch in town! Amelia and Liz talk red flags, and Liz finally talks about her "scary" ex: The Scorpio. (Scorpio men belong in jail.) Let's play a game of F*ck, Marry, Kill! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

feeling like you're close to an orgasm well isn't it insane that you can come in your sleep and like nothing you're not doing anything shows how powerful my power of your brain amazing brain blast brain brain blast that's what was happening on jimmy nutra every brain blast was a hands-free orgasm we're on to you jimmy that's so funny oh my god welcome to the holy hour i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball i don't know why i just we both put our hands under our chins we're really excited to be recording today because it's been a little while it's been a couple of weeks and we just kind of decided today that we

were going to record today yeah so it's just on a whim we're both feeling it yeah we are i was excited i was like i got a little bit of my buzz back oh good i just drank two glasses of sake at the park so i'm like really feeling i'm at my my like buzz of life you know right same but right before i hit record or right before we did our intro we were about to talk about the matrix because i just watched the matrix for the first time and i did too and i didn't i was unaware that so many movies have ripped off the matrix inception that's the fucking matrix there's so many wanted that is also the fucking matrix that they did that it's insane yeah with like very minimal technology we're able to pull that shit off with like the dodging of the bullets

and like the that scene when they're it's like they're like dodging the you know what you know yeah you just watch it you know what i'm talking about they have no idea what i'm talking about i mean if you've seen the matrix maybe you know yeah where there's like multiples of the guy dodging the bullet like how how but my thing that i have to say about the matrix which i feel like is is relevant to the podcast kind of there are underlying themes is that um what's her name Trinity completely unnecessary storyline with the romance yeah can I could I've been thinking a lot about this because it's like she was the most badass sexy character in that movie and then she just like had to fall in love with Keanu Reeves okay if this is a spoiler that's on you it's been

out since 99 you deserved to have this spoiled we just watched it for the first time and now i'm on my high horse i don't think i would have cared probably i already knew about the i already i knew the general premise of the matrix before i watched it i thought that i knew the general but then like then like being in those pods and like being born out of the pot yeah i didn't know about that what the fuck is this yeah it was amazing but i'm like i was surprised um but yeah the storyline with trinity falling in love with neo totally unnecessary there was nothing in the film that that romance was necessary for yeah so when you were talking to my boyfriend about the matrix before i had watched it which was so ironic because literally earlier in the

day he was like let's watch the matrix later oh that's so funny did you watch it with him yes okay yeah i watched it with him but um he was like so what did you think about like that plot line after her um amelia and i were talking about it and i was like i mean i think i was looking for it because i you know had heard her opinion about it so um i was like i totally agree though like it kind of seemed unnecessary it seemed like they squeezed it in yeah they did and it's like what is this contributing i saw no chemistry between them the whole movie no she's like i'm in love with you i'm like where you spent like 10 minutes together and it was like in a different reality yeah it definitely it wasn't even like i yeah there wasn't any chemistry

because he was like oblivious yeah to her existence yes he was busy trying to learn like kung fu the whole time yeah he's he's a kung fu i think so i don't know he learned a bunch of martial arts but i think the one he talks about is kung fu but i don't know i was just like they don't have to like be in love yeah there wasn't any sexual tension none i feel like in a movie like that if you're going to force a love story among the plot then it also needs to be like the sexual tension needs to be palpable yeah there's it needs to be like mr and mrs smith palpable there are so many there are so many plot holes like I kept I was watching with my dad and he was so excited for me to watch the matrix when I told him I had never seen it he was like what

oh my god and then we talked about it for like two months he's like we should watch the matrix tonight I'm like I'm busy we finally watched it and the whole time I was like wait but what about how did he like how are they able to get back to the reality without going into the yeah I had so many questions yeah he was my dad's just like just stop just stop just accept it for what it is but there are so many plot holes i like couldn't i just it was hard to get invested in it when i had so many questions well and then i was like how come that one spy if this or not spy um like government men agents yeah how come the agents are all made by the same software how are they not aware of what the other agents are doing yeah it doesn't make it doesn't make any sense

it doesn't make any sense but i had a question in the beginning though you know how it was like follow the white rabbit uh-huh and that bitch with the tattoo yeah was she a part of it how did they know that she was gonna be there at his door were they controlling the reality did they get her to go to the party so that nia would go to the party did they already know that that was gonna happen there was like from that moment on i'm like i need a i need a book or something to follow along with i have so many questions that's such a good point i don't but there's i had forgotten about that i have so many questions but i love love keanu reeves apparently he's like the nicest celebrity ever I bet it's between him and Steve Carell yeah Tom Hanks yeah that's my guy

um but something interesting that my boyfriend and Amelia were talking about um when they were talking about the matrix then some of you might not know about this it's called the Bechdel test if two female characters in a movie interact with each other and don't talk about any of the male characters yep in the movie like and i think in some circumstances um it's like if they both of the female characters have to be named or their names need to be said it's a measure of the representation of women in fiction it asks whether a work features at least two women who talk to each other about something other than a man so yeah it's okay so then the requirement that the two women must be named is sometimes added okay so then so the score is based on how often they're

not talking about men rather than the other way around okay got it yeah it's uh if you really start paying attention to it when i first heard about the bechdel test i really really paid close attention to it and it's like that's what i loved about about frozen because like there was really there's no need for a like a romance in that film and they didn't wedge it in like they do in disney movies you know yeah all the early disney movies there was always like the prince was at the like ending up with the prince was always at the center of like all these heroic stories about these smash the patriarchy yeah like little mermaid like this bitch like she fucking that was a boss character you know yeah she's like um i'm gonna go do what i want to do i want to be a human i'm

gonna get legs and then she like if you're not gonna support me dad then i'm gonna go find my own way to accomplish this and then she meets this guy and she can't even say any words to him no wonder he fell in love with her he's like a beautiful woman who doesn't speak so my prayers have been answered oh my god uh uh anyway um so go on about the bechdel test you've seen the the twitter account men write women right yeah i was just talking about it last night oh my god this this guys you need to follow this twitter account it's it's literally at men write women and it's just like the most shocking shit that men write about women's bodies that are also like so

wrong um let me find a good one there was nicholas sparks one of the most successful writers of our time wrote the last song the film with miley cyrus before he wrote the book and then he wrote the book based on the movie fun fact but if you read how he describes the character that Miley Cyrus played in the book it's it's disgusting it's like she walked up with her tight little body like shit like that yeah Nicholas Sparks like can we think what are you doing my guy I thought if Miley reads if I was reading that and I was like oh my god tight little it's just like how I don't know the adjectives that men use straight men use to describe women is wait i'm gonna read this yeah one okay so the tweet did that really happen said maggie white

she was a dull person but a sensational invitation to make babies oh my god men looked at her and wanted to fill her up with babies right away she hadn't had even one baby yet she used birth control talk about female empowerment ladies she used birth control she said babies like six i would like to launch myself into the sun oh my god i wonder i wonder if men have ever looked at me and thought amelia hadn't even had one baby yet but men just wanted to fill her with babies she not even one she doesn't even have one i hate it so much oh oh who meant i just i was thinking so much earlier this week about how like women once they like become mothers like they're treated like they're no longer allowed to be hot yeah i'm like why yeah yeah like milf

like no she's just a hot woman she's not defined by the fact that she's had a baby yeah i don't know it's just so fucking obnoxious it's super like slut shaming women with children it doesn't make any sense it really truly doesn't i'm like you know this is the purpose of like sexualizing someone sex has a purpose yeah and it's reproduction yeah right but fun fact there is actually no scientific reason women orgasm like god you have to yeah yeah we don't have to he has hiccups oh my god it's so cute the first time you heard it you're like what is i know it's like is he okay my cat has hiccups anyways oh my god i really hope the microphone picked it up i think you can hear it i can hear it um hold your breath grandpa what are some things that

like men do or say that is like a red flag to you um men that call all of their ex-girlfriends crazy you are the common denominator they're my guy there's no way that they are all crazy um that's a huge one um men that can't have a conversation that challenges them in any way that's a huge red flag do you have an example like if like if i i can't really think of an example like if i challenge any of their views not even just like a well you know for like but if I question anything that they say in a way that shows them that I disagree with what they're saying if they can't just like be like let's talk it out you know but they're like what like they just go straight into like an argument mode huge red flag have you ever had the experience where

like if you challenge something that they're thinking or like that they think or believe and then they like backpedal super hard and they're like I don't want you to think I'm a shitty person like i and then they keep circling back to like try and like mitigate and you're like no like you have your opinion but also like i have my opinion yeah there's something can you chill the fuck out yeah no i hear what you're saying i there's something about when men do that when they're so concerned like if like i just want to make sure you don't there's it's kind of endearing because it's like they don't want me to they don't want to think that i have an idea of them that isn't true and i think i can usually sniff that out if it's like genuine or if

it's just like they're trying to cover up that they're a shitty person there's definitely i think that i can tell the difference frozen pizza would do that a whole bunch and it really annoyed me he he was i don't want to say anything mean about him he he had he has some stuff to work through in therapy you know yeah um which there's no shame in that i have no a million and one things to work through in therapy um the journey never stops it does it really doesn't um I mean I have so many it's it's very men that can't men that love talking about themselves and then glaze over the second I start talking about myself enormous red flag I'm like bitch I have important shit to say or at least I want you to pretend that I do yeah you know like so okay I

always see this on twitter where like someone will be like these are like some red flags for me and i some one of my friends always sends me this when she sees it um and i it's uh if his favorite book is lolita and do you know the premise of lolita no but that's just such a specific okay so the premise i mean it's a very famous book and the premise the premise of lolita is um this grown man is in love with a child oh my god it basically is defending pedophilia and um logicizing pedophilia so the reason my friend always sends me that is because my one of my ex-boyfriends favorite book was lolita so what did he say what like what about lolita no so i'm an idiot i was like 23 i never looked

into it he was older than me too um so the more i thought about it like after we broke up and after i saw that i was like holy shit i need to come up with a new name for this guy which one is it a stalker oh um i could call him the stalker i'm gonna call him the scorpio because he's the only scorpio i've had the misfortune of dating um so the scorpio of course the scorpio like loves the book lolita and i wonder if he just like thought it made his like aesthetic cool or something probably he probably didn't even read lolita i think he did but i also like wonder how capable he is of consuming information anyways um his favorite book was lolita and i like didn't really like look into it at all when we were dating and i after we broke up and my

friend sent me that tweet i was like holy shit scorpio's favorite book was lolita so i looked up the premise of lolita and i was like what the fuck and then all of this weird shit started like coming together in my head about him so I haven't told you about him right no not really no so um we were introduced by a mutual friend and um we like started dating and I'll just touch on like the really weird shit that happened um one day he had left his phone at my apartment and like I had the day off and he had to go to work so i went through his phone obviously i'm like 23 24 like insecure whatever and at that point it was pretty normalized yeah um so i like went through his phone you don't have a password and he was begging um and i hadn't gone through his phone before so

that was like my first time going through his phone what's your heart like um i used to go through my ex's phone i was a little nervous but i knew he wasn't like gonna show up at my house because i knew he was working but just the idea of finding yeah i want to find exactly going part of me like i think wanted to find something i didn't want to see that's the only reason you look you will always find what you're looking for when you look that's my theory yeah so i went through all the shit and one of the annoying things was like his ex-girlfriend that he had been broken up with for like several years at that point years yeah damn she got married to a guy with kids and he like told one of his friends like oh she got married this weekend his friend was

like i'm sorry how are you feeling about it and he's like i just know like she's not actually happy and blah blah i'm like why can't you accept that this woman has moved on like she doesn't want you in her life and huge i can guarantee you she is happy like she she went marry this man just because she thought it was her only option like anyways um and then another thing so i like pulled up his browser and i went through his browser history and some of it was like extra small girl porn and you know i'm like whatever like i expect to find porn on anyone's browser but like paired with the lolita yeah so this was before i knew the lolita thing and then it gets even worse oh no so i go to facebook on his browser and i see that he added my parents like 17 year old neighbor

like that he met at a barbecue and i was like why the fuck did he add her because i'm not even of friends with her on facebook that's weird what and then i was like yeah so then i was like i so it just bothered me so then i was like i'm gonna continue this creeping where it's easier on my laptop my time's running out you know yeah and so i pull it up on my laptop and then i like go to his like recently added friends and she's not there and i like search her and she's not in his friends so it's like what the fuck and i pulled it up the browser i pulled it up on the browser again on his phone and went to the profile and it was a completely different picture and different name he had a catfish profile where he just added girls he thought were

attractive yeah i i get so ashamed talking about this because so i called my best friend anna and i was like anna i don't know what the fuck to do and i like i'm like he's gonna come over like like he's almost off of work and he's gonna come over to get his phone and like i i just don't know what to do and then she was like um and then he knocked on the door while i was on the phone with her and i was like fuck he's here i have to go and she's like oh my god okay like tell him like you have to leave like she was worried about my safety so then i like she calls back later and she's like oh my god what happened like did you confront him and i was like i mean i had to and then she's like what like what are you doing and I was like oh we're at the grocery store

like he shows up at my house and then I like you know get off the phone with Anna and I'm like he looks ashamed immediately and I was like I just gotta say this like why do you have a fake Facebook profile and like you added like my parents underage neighbor that's fucking creepy like what are you doing and then you just like burst into tears and I like did not have the mental or emotional like stability to be able to handle that like I was just so caught off guard and like I don't know I don't see a lot of men crying when they do I don't know what to do I'm just like oh my god yeah yeah exactly I like broke I was just like if you want me to lay down all my weapons just start crying like so like yeah he started crying and I just was like it's okay like he's

like I'm just curious I was just curious like it I wasn't like up to anything blah blah blah I was like i just don't understand why you have this profile like what are you doing did you go through his other friends was he adding like a bunch of underage girls i didn't go that deep into it i just thought like it was really bizarre and i was like yeah i went through your history and you like looked at all her shit like what the hell is going on this is weird so all of these things are like logging back in my head of like um adding the underage neighbor the extra small porn and like i look like a child the girl our mutual friend who he ended up marrying whenever whenever we were out together people would be like are you guys related wow and she definitely also has a

baby face looks very young and i just yeah so i don't even know what to say i know and like his like craziness like doesn't really stop there like our i will say like our relationship could have ended normally like by the time we broke up like we knew that we didn't want um to we didn't want a long-term relationship with each other what our relationship was ended volatilely like the way by the time our relationship was over like we weren't having sex we were just friends like we were just hanging out like buddies and that was totally fine with me like i enjoyed his company and i will say it's the first relationship i was in where i felt like i could be myself and just like i was comfortable like if i had to fart i could just tell yeah so i don't know like

little things like that i do appreciate but in the scheme of things like i don't know something about him is super creepy and yeah yeah it's not even that i haven't even gotten to like the weird shit like i mean that was pretty fucking weird together um like nine months okay not a super long time but it's long when you're 24 and depressed um but he so when we broke up he like immediately started dating our mutual friend and like what i introduced you to yeah and i don't think i would have cared if like he had if they both had been like considerate of my feelings but instead he just like i can't remember the specifics of how he told me because it was so long ago but he just like bulldozed the conversation and was like um yeah i'm like

dating her now and i was just like it hadn't even been a week and i was like yeah i'm talking to another guy but i'm not gonna like it's not someone you know and i'm not shoving it in your face to deal with it like and i was just like you both fucking suck like you deserve to be together and then he like blew up on me and he was like I don't understand why you can't be happy for me and I was like I can't believe you're asking me to be anything for you he was just trying to feel less bad about it yeah a lot of his behavior is so rooted in shame um which obviously I can see that now but and then after we broke up like my I'm pretty confident he had been logging into my snapchat yeah because he knew the password to my laptop and it was the password to all my apps

so he logged into my snapchat and um i'm pretty sure he also tried to log into my mom's instagram what the fuck yeah because i made my shit private and i like blocked him on everything because she got like a notification and it had like um the geolocation or like this area and like this kind of phone tried to log into your instagram account so i was like give me that and i looked it up and then like i got a notification from snapchat that was like um we found like this account or like this device has been logging into your account and it was like the same so i'm pretty confident it was him and um and then my parent like he had a key to my apartment my parents were really freaked out

and changed uh all the locks in my apartment get that smart this guy seems disturbed and he's married to that girl now yeah yeah the thing that was so fucking annoying about them is like a bunch of people stopped being friends with them and then they were like the victims about it oh of course they were but that's his whole mo yeah and honestly her too like she cannot keep a single friend red flag yeah that's a friend red flag yeah is girls who can't keep a single friend and then they like um like you know for a while i would like hate stalk her twitter because i was just like fuck both of you so much and you know what we all hate stalk sometimes all the time i'm like way past that now but um i'm not back when the wound was fresh oh you knew about them

specifically oh oh yeah yeah yeah um honestly i don't really hate stalk anymore either it's just like if i think of someone i'm like i wonder what they're up to and then you're like yep they're still tacky no but i was like looking at her twitter and like they both just like glommed onto this narrative that they're like um they're lone wolves and they're independent and i was just like no a lone wolf is not an alpha like a lone wolf dies because it was left alone it can't survive in a pack just kicked out of the pack and they just treated it as like this alpha lone wolf type of persona oh my god and he was the kind of person who like completely romanticized being a writer oh he's like i really want to be a writer and then he would do absolutely nothing to

accomplish that the brooding writer probably had six french presses too do you have french presses um i only had been to his apartment like twice this guy you did for nine months yeah he lived with his best girlfriend and her crazy mom i sound like i'm making this guy up this sounds like a good character in a movie the mom lived on the couch and then he shared the room with his roommate and then um i mean he spent most of the time at my apartment i know because i was 24 and just desperately wanted a boyfriend i understand that oh my god this seriously seems like this seems like a character yeah he honestly is like a character of a person and i feel like he does it intentionally you know what's shocking to me is somebody that has all of these i don't even

want to call him quarks that feels like too playful of a way that somebody that has these things like looking up porn with like very small women and like adding underaged girls on like a catfish account would admit that his favorite book is lolita yeah what are you doing i want oh god i've been thinking so much about just with everything that's been going around social media with like pedophilia yeah i don't even want to talk about it because it's so disturbing but like it's just like hearing you talk about him it's just like just red flag city holy fuck and then when we broke up like and then he you know dropped this bomb that he's like dating our mutual friend um i like blew up on him and i was just like fuck both of you whatever and i was like i went to

Thailand um and like when I got back he had emailed me and like so when you block someone's phone number um it goes to your deleted voicemail messages and then there's a subsection of like blocked numbers so I had the notification at a voicemail and I was like what the fuck so I like had to click through to find it I didn't know I did that yeah and it was a voicemail from him and i was like i know you're gonna say i shouldn't say this but i hope that you're safe and you have a great time and i was like sir i have made it abundantly clear i do not want to talk to you or hear from you and i i fucking hate you but this is like that is so on brand with his like self-serving i'm the victim yeah i need to i need to talk to you to feel better i'm like just leave

me the fuck alone and then um like a year ago so right when i moved to seattle like a few months later he like found my email i changed my email address amelia i got a new email address so he could not contact me he found my new email address how um he would have had to go to my LinkedIn profile and download my resume and find my new email address on my resume that is actually scary scary yeah like I don't want to talk any and then he emailed me and was like um I'm so happy to see you like doing so well and blah blah blah I'm like oh my god completely launch yourself into the sun take a fucking hint like clearly you're doing everything you can to not hear from this guy like save yourself like a little bit it's so obviously like self-serving oh

yeah no you sincerely don't care if i'm doing well or not and like i don't care if he's doing well or not no but i also don't need to talk to him to feel better about how i handled a situation like you're allowed to grow and change but i don't want to fucking hear from you you're not responsible for helping him with that growth and change it's so and oh my god and then like that repeated pattern just further proves like he hasn't changed you still don't respect my boundaries and then um fuck what was the other thing oh like a year ago he had some other and he made another instagram account and like was looking at my stories and he didn't even try to hide it was him i was just like i like i came to a like you know a dilemma where i'm like okay do i remove

my social media presence just for this one fucking idiot no like i'm not i'm not going to acknowledge this beyond just like blocking you from looking at my story like just just keep blocking him every time he makes a new account leave me alone that is very very scary i never felt afraid but hearing about it is scary yeah because like that is very if a friend was telling me this i was like i would be like oh my god he's gonna find where you live yeah that's that's exactly because people are capable of some really fucked up shit yeah especially when it's there's like the competition of like wanting to not only like redeem yourself but like earn somebody there's very there's like kind of like a neanderthal like yeah like what would you ask

what do you want from me yeah like i wonder what it would be like if you gave into it i know that you would have never have and i'm glad that you didn't but like say you did i wonder what his what he would have done well i think whatever however i react so if i react negatively then he can affirm to himself oh i'm the better person and she hasn't changed but then if like i don't react like then nothing needs to be done and i mean he hasn't tried to be up in my business in a while good oh my god watch he's gonna come out do you think he's been listening honestly i wouldn't be surprised i sincerely don't care i guess you'll find out though because he's gonna listen to this yeah he has been he'll fucking email us at the holy hour hey he is making gatsby's making way

too much noise why are you being aggressive um i was just thinking about like if i've dated anybody that have because like all my red flags are very like anecdotal you know yeah but i don't know if i've ever i mean most of my red flags would be anecdotal but that was such a glaring experience well and then like you know even me saying like i felt like an idiot for like you know overlooking these red flags but when you're in and it's so much harder it's impossible to see because your if your feelings are invested and like you there's it's it is so easy to see it clearly from the outside well and you want this person to like be different but well i was reading something recently on um i think it's like the holistic psychologist maybe that's i think that's

her instagram name but um like repeated patterns in romantic relationships like um you know usually they're like childhood attachment issues or repeated patterns in your romantic relationships and one of them was like we attract this person that triggers the these attachment issues because we want them to change for us because we all want to believe that we're special and i think that's definitely what i had been like glomming on to in both of my relationship with scorpio and very obviously shoe man like yeah they both reflected so much of this like um emotional unavailability that i was just like i want someone like this to change for me that's always you want to be the chosen one so often though like i can but it's so it's so subconscious

yeah like it was like i liked these qualities about them but the thing that like i didn't notice on the surface was just that they weren't emotionally available they aren't changeable people have to want to change absolutely which like it really is such it is that is such a common phenomenon of like well like i like i believe he can change all of us have given into that like we all want to believe that we can change somebody but like because we all we are all our own main character oh yeah so it's like of course like the main character in every movie can like you know like i don't know 10 things i hate about you just popped in my head with like the weird quiet girl being the one to like change like the hot like prom king and it's like oh yeah

we all have that idea in our head of like well we can and it's like it's such a a romantic way to see to see things but like i don't know at least i actually don't think any any age anyone can be changed by anyone without wanting to change for themselves you know what i mean i was about to say like no man in their 20s but like i can't think of like a single like adult adult that would like change sometimes i feel like after a certain age you're just like frozen being shitty like if you suck before age 30 fossilized yeah you're going to fossilize in your shittiness if you haven't changed by age 30 and that's on science folks yeah there's there's data to back so camo print like huge red flag for me that i wish that i would have paid attention to

was sex from foreplay to him finishing was five minutes oh no all three times and he wasn't you did it again after the first time i did it so we did the first time and then we did it a second time because i was like it'll be different and it was not and then we had sex a second time that night because i was like maybe since he already came it's your turn to have a good time right or it'll take longer so i can at least like try to make myself come yeah no the second time was three minutes for play to finish what yeah and like the it's not even the issue of him like some men just like come fast that's like but like pay attention to me after and like he did not ever all three times that's so uh-huh I hate that yeah and that same guy made me feel

very very bad for ending it when we had been seeing each other for like three weeks like and like did he like gaslit me how I was he was like well I don't even want to be your boyfriend because I said to him I'm like you're just kind of ahead of where I am emotionally and I don't think I'm ever gonna meet you there and he was like what like have I ever asked you to be my girlfriend no he was like doing all that gaslighting shit and I'm like you are exposing yourself and so like I just like wish I wish that I had paid attention to these and the sex thing was just it was just an example of all of these other red flags that I was just like maybe it's just like it was the first person I had dated out of my relationship so so that's rough yeah so I was

just like is this just how dating is gonna be so I just like ignored it because I was like maybe I'm just used to like having somebody take such good care of me consistently that like I just ignored all these red flags but don't because like no red flags are guardian angels not just gut feelings yep red flags are guardian angels red flags are guardian angels bopping you in the face they're like we warned you can't say we didn't open your eyes it's like uh what's that fucking movie with sandra bullock and they can't look they can't see at oh bird box yeah it's like bird box what part of bird box just like look oh look at it yeah oh my god that's so funny oh my god look at these red flags

oh my god oh no but seriously like i could go on and on about red flags him gaslighting you like that reminds me so much of like how frozen pizza handled oh things of just like okay i get it like you feel bad i'm sorry that you don't like what i'm saying yeah yeah but i can't be responsible for how you feel you can't flip it on me and try and make me feel bad as bad as you feel that's the thing the only thing that we have in that we have completely in our control is how we react to things and i think that way too many people try to like change people's like how people feel about things through like carefully constructed words and like like oh well that's not at all you just misunderstood and it's like it makes you think like did i misunderstand but then you look

back on it it's like no this person was giving me all of these reasons to feel the way that i'm feeling and now they're trying to walk it back yeah because i'm calling them out on their shit it's so fucked up it's so fucked up the manipulation it's it's impressive like how how people how good some people are at manipulating i think is impressive and some it's it's the thing that's weird is it's not even conscious no it's they're not consciously like i'm gonna manipulate Amelia into dating me yeah it's like it's all coming from this place of defending themselves from feeling anything bad so this guy's probably marching around like you know he's the one who got away like when in reality like not the truth my friend so many things about him like set off

alarms for you oh my god I was kind of scared of him for a lot of the time when you so I'm sure me talking about scorpio like how you talk about camo print yeah like freaks me out yeah and it's not even nearly as fucking weird as like the things that i experienced with scorpio i i have like when i was listening to liz of like the guys that i would want to talk about i i brought up camo print and both mine and her reaction were both like maybe not because yeah i edited it out because I was worried yeah that he would hurt Amelia I never gave him my address like I didn't want him I I accidentally dropped a pin at my house once when I was trying to temporarily share my location with him when I was going to meet him and this was before any of the red flags came up

and I like dropped a pin and I was like oh fuck like my first reaction was like oh no I'm like wait why am I feeling like that like why am I scared that he might know where I live yeah I don't i don't know so uh i think that amelia is a witch i think she's clairvoyant yeah my mom has always said that i'm a witch well you just have such strong gut instincts i really do i hate it because i i accept all my gut instincts as facts you know what show me your palms i saw some oh yeah so i'm a little like that one has eggs so so this little like loop is like do you have it um i only have it on one oh the right here yeah it's called like a phoenix eye i have both yeah that's like a witch thing you're yeah what it she was like you might have psychic

abilities yeah what the fuck i have it on both thumbs yeah sis you're a witch you're a witch amelia you're a witch oh my god you're a wizard harry i had a dream when i was 12 years old this was my first experience it's just a really stupid example but it was my first example of like feeling like a witch um I had a dream that somebody threw up in in my science class it was like that was the dream somebody just like threw up in my science class the next day somebody threw up in my science class and I was like yo yo like what a random thing what a random specific thing to dream about the night before it happens and after i after that i was like am i like i might be and like all of this shit now comes up where i like know that things are happening i'm i am impossible to

surprise like nobody has ever successfully surprised me because i like pick up on changes in the air you know what i mean like this is it's such an interesting thing i want to like go to like a clairvoyant or somebody just to like see what's up because like i don't know i think it would be kind of cool to know you can hang out with Teresa Caputo that's my bitch I love the Long Island video we need to sage your house I've staged my house multiple times okay but there's still some freaky shit going on did I tell you about the bird the sound of the bird that was stuck in the corner of my kitchen when I was home alone I was I was laying on the couch and I had just turned off the tv and I was just kind of scrolling through my phone and in the corner

of the kitchen it sounded like there's a bird stuck in the corner flapping around and I stood up really fast like how the fuck am I gonna get this fucking bird how did this bird get in my kitchen it was like one in the morning two how am I gonna get it out no bird but it was like very loud you know that that sound of a bird flapping really fast clear as day so I just feel like there's there's no bird obviously there's just a ghost of a bird right but like what is it about a bird that feels a little demonic i don't know well don't fuck with a ouija board that's what it opened the portal in my house in bellingham oh yeah you mentioned that but i want to say that for a halloween episode oh god i'm gonna have nightmares

i'm afraid of everything you guys like i hate watching scary movies you do my boyfriend he was like it's gonna be hard for you to date me during october i was like why what happens in october what did i do october is my birth month we'll be celebrating it all month you better be on board for that no but he was like because i love watching horror movies in october i was like you might start liking them i hated horror movies for a while what is it maybe they were like alfred hitchcock ones but i just like if anything's like related to like ghosts or demons i cannot i i just can't watch them like i won't be able to sleep i have too much of an active imagination wow i will have nightmares like did i ever tell you

about like when so there's one night where shoe man like we didn't get into an argument it was just kind of like um we like had a misunderstanding and it sucked and I was just like whatever I'm gonna go to bed and then um he came he came into my apartment in the middle of the night like he was on his way home and then he like stopped by my apartment to like surprise me so I had like just gone to bed I'd taken a shower I'd gone to bed and then um my cats were acting weird and like bolted off my bed and i was like whatever they're cats and i roll over and there is a shadowy figure next to my bed because there was a window right behind him why so the light's coming in all i see he's wearing all black too and he's a shadowy figure and i was like

in my head i was like oh my god it's happening and then i like i was like oh my god oh my god and then like i i have like a few bats in my apartment that my dad always puts around my apartment so i'd like the side he was on was where the bat was and i was like how the fuck am i gonna get to the bat that society's on and then he's like it's just me it's just me and then i turn the lights on and i like burst into tears i was i would have sobbing so hard i'm freaking out just hearing this that's my biggest i was bawling and i had nightmares about it for a few years i believe it yeah why the fuck would he do that of course that would scare you he thought it would be sweet to be like i'm sorry we had

this misunderstanding like what a fucking disturbed just give me flowers dude right leave them at my door don't show up in my apartment oh my god that gives me anxiety to think about i was horror like horrified i was completely traumatized i'm having like an anxiety response to that story that's like my biggest fear yeah rolling over and then there's a shadowy figure in all black next to your bed yeah well and then it was like very obviously a person so i had no passing thought like oh maybe this is a ghost or a demon i was just like oh my god someone is going to rape and murder me i i oh my god especially and this happened after like um we changed my locks from scorpio so i just got changed my locks again yeah my mom got me a taser that's right here what is it it's pink

so i have a taser i have those key a keychain alarm and then some pepper spray is on its way we gotta yeah i told the female existence i told mama bear about the guy who followed me the other day she was like i hate this so much i'm gonna send you some stuff i saw a tweet today that was like men will say um male privilege doesn't exist and then go on a walk at midnight it's so true it's so true completely fuck yourself oh my god we were talking about what we want to do at the end of these episodes we're still figuring it out we're gonna do a little ab test what we've been doing is talking about what we're celebrating for the week but now we want to do a little round of fuck mary kill at the end of every episode do you

say fuck marry kill what do you say marry fuck kill interesting yeah i don't know i wonder if it's a regional thing maybe how do you say marry kill how do you say the word a-l-m-o-n-d almond almond almond people say almond those people deserve to be euthanized almond almond get the fuck out of here wipe them all out there are whole regions of the country that say almond when you say drawer d-r-drawer drawer drawer yeah people say drawer drawer anyway fuck marry kill almonds and drawers there's also people call like medians in the road something different in every in every place dividers call them dividers i don't know i call

them a medium there's like some random ass words for them or like mountain lions and cougars are the same animals did you know what i didn't know that but they call them something different in every region cougar is way cooler than mountain lion yeah in my opinion mountain lion i don't know it just sounds you mean outside cat my cats die if i put them outside yeah they're indoor cats i do wish i had a catio though oh my god my brother's fiance just built their cat their two cats a catio and it's the most impressive structure i've ever seen i would love to kick them outside for a little while yeah maybe not right now but catio cats be wake up okay fuck me or kill i was trying to figure this out earlier because i don't want to

do real people because if we do real people and then whoever we say kill dies they're coming for us first that's fair so um fuck me you are a witch too i am i'm amelia the minute i say i'll kill you Amelia will put a hex on you I'll manifest it manifesting death yeah manifest death okay fuck marry kill Edward Cullen Harry Potter Legolas oh like Legolas from Lord of the Rings Lord of the Rings Orlando Bloom so are you familiar with Lord of the Rings yes okay I was gonna say i could pick somebody else i would marry legolas why uh because he is hot good enough answer for me and uh from what i remember i liked his character okay so and you know when i marry someone i want it to be a lifelong decision so like what person

do i want to fuck forever legolas he would be great waking up he you know he looks good in the morning he's he's light on his feet he is looks great and green yeah uh those bow and arrow wielding skills yes i was just about to say he'll outlive me that'll be nice that would be something i won't be dying alone because he'll be right there i see a lot to marry and i won't feel bad yeah i'll be like yeah go marry another person nice but she can't be as pretty as i am it has to be a downgrade yeah okay um i oh god and i have to fuck i'm gonna fuck edward cullen it seems like it'd be a good time okay um why uh he has no blood i often wonder yeah how did he how does he have an erection if he has no blood just like two posts and i don't know much about

i don't know much about cadavers so i don't know if they're just erect or there is not a doctor weigh in on this post post-mortem erection emissions post-mortem emissions anyways if somebody just like fast forwarded to that part the episode like what are these bitches doing so what does this podcast become but i just remember like i don't know i feel like there is a lot of pent-up sexual energy from this very old virgin man you know is he a virgin is that accepted i think he is okay okay what is he like 87 or something would you want to would you want to fuck a dead virgin though okay i didn't consider that he was dead amelia i considered that he was a vampire aren't they all dead they're undead

i don't know okay but i would like to fuck a vampire i'm gonna fuck a vampire okay okay and then i'm gonna kill harry potter he's so fucking annoying what is why i don't know he just is like such a white savior i don't know and he mopes around if it was a different daniel radcliffe character oh god i fucking love daniel radcliffe uh harry potter is a cop okay he becomes a cop i stand behind all of your choices if i had to choose between i don't know harry potter and draco i think i would pick draco draco for sure draco would be if draco was involved instead of

harry potter i would probably fuck draco and kill edward collins yes like he's already yep speaking of draco malfoy i am being targeted for this tiktok algorithm where the people are like doing harry potter role playing where they take clips from the movie and like make a whole new scene yeah so the one i saw today was this girl comes to her hogwarts class and she sits down and she's and then the uh delores umbridge is like where's your uniform and she's like i don't feel like wearing it today and then draco like looks at her and it's like a clip of actual draco malfoy from the movie and he like looks at her like and then and then and then she's like i see

where where is your robe and then she says i don't know i must have left it in draco's room last night and then there's like a clip of like draco like smiling and like looking away it's so cringy but i'm like how did i get here why is this on my for you yeah why am i targeted for this like this i wonder what you did to her this is like the second or third one i've seen that's like this harry potter role play once and i was like what the fuck and i looked at the comments they're like oh my god this is amazing it's just like i'm like you know what it's probably because i am such a kylo ren simp oh they're like this bitch yeah love these teenagers simping four harry potter characters i bet because you're on witch talk though oh true there's like some

crossover harry potter witches yeah maybe yeah that's so fucking hilarious i've never gotten any of that um i have another one oh yeah well i'm thinking it might be a quicker quicker answer fuck marry kill halloween christmas thanksgiving um i would marry halloween okay fucking love halloween okay honestly i would kill christmas because people who are obsessed with christmas annoy the fuck out of me they start like the second the temperature drops like below 70 and i'm like why is christmas a vibe like yeah i hate it christmas is like i like and then i'll fuck thanksgiving i love a holiday or no i don't know i also like don't want to celebrate thanksgiving just because of how problematic it is yeah agreed i but i love eating yeah any holiday i don't i

don't like thanksgiving food though you don't no i think it's all shitty i don't like thanksgiving food neither does my mom so anytime so our family tradition for thanksgiving is we make like lobster tail and crab legs and shrimp yum yeah and salmon god we have like a seafood get down i love that yum and uh we shotgun a beer family tradition love it even more uh and that started when my brother challenged my dad to shotgun a beer my brother challenged my dad to a beer shotgun contest and my dad kicked my brother's ass i love that and mama mama bear was all up she gets all up in everybody's face when everyone's been drinking and my dad will start challenging people to arm wrestle oh and my mom's like my husband will kick your ass yeah and i'm like oh my god

i love this that is the best she just like is the ultimate hype woman i really love i love traditions like i have an issue with holidays because i don't like the pressure of a holiday like I love my like my parents always make Christmas so so special and I love it but then there's also pressure to be like the happiest ever on Christmas and Christmas would be like a great day and like I don't like that that's my issue with Halloween that's my issue with New Year's like I just don't like the pressure of having fun yeah the expectations but Thanksgiving food is my most favorite my mom will make Thanksgiving dinner for my birthday every year because I love Thanksgiving food so much she'll make a whole ass turkey yeah she'll make a whole turkey she'll make

stuffing she makes two kinds of stuffing this is my favorite thing i've ever learned about you it's why i would do anything for thanksgiving food i i like mashed potatoes i fuck with mashed potatoes and some kfc gravy love gravy my dad makes really good stop oven brown potatoes hey he just loves the attention you just he's going through a phase where he wants to be let into the hallway so he just sits at the door and meows at the door what do you who do you know out there everyone you know is in here no one and if he saw someone he'd be scared grandpa use some lateral thinking my guy just use a little bit of lateral he doesn't think have you looked at his face his brain is empty i love you so much um we're gonna do another harry potter one oh good

jenny okay neville and luna neville now or neville in the movie um let's do neville in the movie okay just to keep it consistent i'd fuck luna because she's like a crazy bitch you know do some freaky shit in bed yeah she seems like a sub though i think that she would probably be one of those like she might get a little attached post-sex you know but i still fuck luna um i would marry neville just knowing what i know about him now like i want to i want to snag him like pre-glow up well he was always cute they made him wear a fat suit and fake teeth his teeth were fake yeah that's why they look so big that's so mean i know they're like this man is too attractive and he's distracting from the main character he is like

scary hot now he is very attractive he's a good looking guy and then i'd probably kill jenny i don't want to kill jenny but that's my only option her general like presence is annoying in the movies yeah i guess it is but i don't part of me wants to marry jenny because like i feel like ron would be like a boss in law you know what i mean but but i have to marry i have to mary neville yeah that's probably my answer this is a good one okay jesse's girl stacy's mom or sweet caroline okay so i would kill sweet caroline um because you know what that's written about a very young caroline kenny oh kennedy no yeah like the kennedy like the first daughter of the president very young like that's really creepy and also it's just played out um so i i would

kill sweet caroline i would so stacy's mom and what's the other one jesse's girl jesse's girl i would probably fuck jesse's girl that's a sexy song and then i'd marry stacy's mom for the nostalgia jesse is a friend yeah i know he's been a good friend of mine lately something's changed and it's hard to define jesse's got himself a girl and i want to make a mind and she's watching and she's loving him with that body i just know it um oh that was a that was a banger it really was that's a great fuck song that is that's a great song to that's a great song to have intercourse with that is a very sexy song um my boyfriend's never done karaoke not once no he says it's his nightmare oh i was like that's a good challenge i was like you're gonna do it

at least once yeah he was like uh i was like you can sing with me he might love it i feel like there's always a bit of like nerves before karaoke in the second you're up there you just want to keep singing i think he will literally hate it so much i believe him i will i believe he will not have a good time but you'll have a great time making him do it well anytime i go and sing karaoke like i do get really nervous but it's all about if you're having a good time yeah that's what's the most important that's what it's all about energy that's what it's all about nobody likes being in a bar hearing people sing karaoke like i've never met someone that's like let's go let's go sit in a karaoke bar like it's so obnoxious hearing people sing yeah but it's so

much fun being up there it is so fun i think it's fun i think the whole like uh everything about it it's fun you like being in there when people are singing karaoke i fucking hate it i like it because if they're having like a good time and like their friends are like hyping them up it's like fun to watch i guess it depends on the person if they're entertaining i enjoy that and if they're really talented i also enjoy that i love hearing people go up there and just belt like amazing yeah i'm like holy fucking why are you here just kill it go call brian seacrest yeah america's got talent and it's right here in hula hula on capitol hill and it certainly is not me singing the song from the 80s a really fuckable song like jessie's girl that is a great karaoke song it really

what's your karaoke song do you feel like number one my go-to karaoke song is your love by the outfield okay it's just fun to sing yeah mine's spenny and the jets nice i have a list of songs I would sing in karaoke actually yeah I think there might only be two songs my other one is I'm Every Woman by Chaka Khan that is a great karaoke song have you ever seen someone sing Alanis Morissette you ought to know the crowd loves it it's such a rage-filled song yeah that's so oh my god that is mine and I'm here to remind you oh my god wow that's my shower song but I'm real mad you ought to know I used to do an Alanis Morissette impression in college and I was going to do a song stop I am going to put you back up for adoption

oh my god no I won't you could never he is I will threaten him with adoption yeah um uh oh my Alanis Morissette impression I was going to sing it on the cruise that we went on and I lost my voice so I couldn't oh no I'm gonna do it for you yeah do it right now I want you to know that I'm happy for you i wish i nothing but the best for you both and the livers into me i'm nailing it you guys is she perverted like me would she go down on you in a theater anyways oh my god i'm good it's a fun way to end though oh my god

maybe that should be our new outro song did you forget about me the end of every episode is just us singing a different part of you out of now different atlantis more set songs yeah and isn't it ironic don't you think a little too ironic and I really do think

it's like right here how does Alanis Morissette like slap but is still annoying I know follow us on Instagram and Twitter at theholyhour it's also in our bio

on Spotify and apple podcast yeah yeah and then you can also email us at the holy hour pot no holy hour podcast i'm never gonna know there's no there's no that you can holy hour podcast holy hour podcast at gmail.com i feel like one day we're gonna set up a at the holy hour at gmail and just redirect all of our emails yeah we gotta fix it eventually yeah probably not anyways anyway thanks for joining us for another chaotic adventure it's been so chaotic it's been so fun it has been so fun i miss this vibe we've been so serious the last couple of episodes and you know what also i've just been in like a creative rut which amelia knows about but i don't know if other people know

about it i'm pretty vocal about my feelings yeah it's good on twitter normalize feel twitter my diary yeah oh twitter you mean my journal my personal diary to share with the world where i can be like i'm sad and then people are like i'm also sad yeah me a little community sad bitches love it well and i know i'm not the only one who's been feeling stuck so that feels good too to know it's like not just me absolutely it's a phase of life that i can go through with other people yes absolutely yeah there's something very comforting about knowing somebody else is going through it yeah even though you don't want anybody else to be going through it it's no to like yeah you're like you you feel less like isolated yeah totally i'm

like oh you know what i think considering all the circumstances in the world it's not unlikely that someone would be experiencing this phase at the same time as me yes yeah so anyways anywho all right thanks for listening grandpa says thank you yeah that was very nice grandpa yeah he's like let me out i'm not credited i'm not in any of the photos i contribute to every single episode yeah he really does and i have yet to be credited well now's your time grandpa anything else you want to say nope he's looking at you like what's this bitch thing all right anyway we love you You oughta know