The Hoely Hour - E130 Wet Your Whistle

Episode Date: March 31, 2023

Women's intuition: it's a super power, kind of like That's So Raven. Liz and Amelia play a game of Guess That Quote between Andrew Tate and Dwight Schrute, and Amelia exercises her poetry skills. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

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pussy so loyal you can rely on it oh fuck yeah oh shit she she came with the bars she came with the bars bars welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at LizBallSoHard. You can also watch us on YouTube or listen ad-free on Patreon at patreon.com slash theholyhour. Check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com. Did I tell you cats can't recognize faces? Yes. I sort of love that though. That's racist.

that's speciesist damn true um i don't have any talking tits today i looked i that's okay well is it well because we're gonna do some other stuff that's true and talk about other things this is gonna be kind of an all over the place episode liz is at my place today yeah we're recording in my mess of a home a nice change of scenery amelia lit some incense for me to cleanse my sad little soul who will save your soul amelia will she will that's why that's why this is a religiously based podcast yeah this is a cult it is it is but cults don't have to be a bad thing you know there could be two person cults yeah just you and me yeah well we do have listeners right but i'm just but like they're it's possible i guess there's not like a cult always has a uh exit cost

we don't have an exit cost oh shit if you stop listening we'll cry that's our exit cost we'll cry and then also we might not have any idea i'll know amelia is counting each of you one by one i'll find you oh sorry i mean i was just shitting behind us right now i don't know if you can hear that in the headphones it sounded like she's doing scratching she just doesn't know how to cover her litter she she does her best to be a cat she is trying we can wait until she's done to continue she's shit so many times today i feel like there's something in the water here y'all i've had a bad ibs day i know you were wondering tell tell us more yeah well i've been exercising a lot which is a new thing for me if you've been

listening to the podcast like my entire personality was that i never worked out for a really long time yes yes it's covered babe she's going to town oh she's done now she didn't do anything she's just digging around to be naughty yeah that's funny she's like if you're not gonna turn on my toy i'm gonna make noise um yeah i woke up today like ever since i've started exercising like i'm more regular which is great but it's been like two days because i've been stressed out work has been nuts and it all just kind of built up came to fruition today yeah it was a it was a long it crowned it did yeah i can see hair i hated that right when i started to say it i was like no no no no no no stop saying a little

too far on the poop jokes a little too far on the poop joke i really didn't think we would ever get there but we did still gonna keep it in there that's what she said i was like does that work it works um where do we start today y'all we this is gonna be kind of an all over the place episode i think we should start with batchy okay so the bachelor premiere was last night i haven't been watching but amelia has yeah finale sorry it's fine um it's the premiere of ends yeah damn the premiere of endings um it was the first day of the rest of their lives they got engaged there's three fucking hours yeah it was too many hours i was just reading the tweets yeah i had a friend

over and i when the host was like three out we had a three hour finale i was like there's no way in fucking hell they're gonna be able to fill this time they found a way there's no way that it's that interesting it's not and it was all fluff it was all fluff like just it's because they want the viewership yeah and i get that what are you gonna what are you gonna do you know it's like you could give that slot to like local news like they could use it but anyway um give us the highlight so what i wanted to talk about specifically was okay first of all the runner-up gap okay before we jump in oh well if you care you've watched it or you've seen twitter the runner-up gabby she had such a redemption arc this season like she one week like

they had like a little bit of one-on-one time at a cocktail party and she was like i'm gonna get i give people nicknames can i give you a nickname um zacky wacky what about zack zack like it was like the most it was one of those like uncomfortable conversations that they put like the nickname like funny music over in the background because it's just like a mess was it uh like in an early episode it was like third week fourth week so that's it was like still early but in enough and she was like crying to everybody like i fucked up like he doesn't like me at all and then she like did something that like redeemed herself and then she ended up being the runner up anyway so i love her like she just be i mean being cringe i feel like is not like

the worst you know no but it is like when they make it when they highlight it on the show yeah it's usually a reason that someone gets kicked off like somebody on night one made him do the gritty with her and then forced her to kiss him what do we do to kiss her what are we doing to gritty what are we doing on a batch we found out that a high school football player was the one who originated the gritty oh that's bananas like what do we what do we what are we no what i was saying literally what do we what do we what do we do the witty um should we talk like that the whole episode they would love that it wouldn't get annoying at

all gabby the runner-up was like my numero uno gal i fucking loved her she's just like very real like a fan favorite based on she's very real she showed a lot of personality the last two in the end they have you know like after the episode sometimes they'll have like a fun little like thing during the credits there was um the last two girls like a few weeks ago were like had like a bubble bath in their bathing suits and they were like drinking wine in the bathtub and it was just like it was a good personality piece and i was like okay these two are like fun and you never get to see that personality on the show that's true because they're trying to show that it's a competition yeah but obviously these women's are these women are going to form

friendships right they have to that's all that they can do in the house think about this guy and form friendships um which is kind of my entire life come to think of it now i'm sad no maybe i should go on the batch i think you should go on the bachelor i think it's a good idea raise your hand if you think amelia should go on the bachelor i think that i would be kicked off on night one for just like being like crying would why would you cry because i just always cry you know on night one yeah i don't think you would not over him but just like about a thing overwhelmed being overwhelmed yeah i would like think about like those like videos of people

coming home for more and their dogs being happy to see them i would just start crying used to watch compilations of those to purposely cry yeah it is a good a good way to cry okay wait so continue with gabby and the bachelor goodness sorry my night adderall has not kicked in um so she this kind of goes back kind of far but i'm going to give the reader's digest version because liz did not watch this season of bachelor she is kind of up to speed but if you haven't watched here's the tea um they had fantasy sweet week and he was like i'm not gonna have sex with anybody like that's i'm sex is off the table for this week which made it a bigger deal than it needed to be you know just don't do it you know that can just be a choice that you make but he

ended up he went on one date with ariel who was a class fucking act she's gonna clean up in paradise she's so fucking cool and then so she had her date with him they didn't fuck and then he had his date with Gabby and they fucked and then apparently when they were like right after they had sex right before he was like this is just between us like nobody's gonna know about this and she was like yeah it's just between us and then the next day he comes into her room with production and it's like I have to tell the truth that we fucked because I don't want our like our relationship to be like based on a lie which is like but like told Gabby that oh yeah with production there and Gabby was like okay so like now all of America knows that we fucked like

that's kind of like they aren't kind of women that have sex on that show yeah and especially after he announces like no sex and it's like if you don't want to be a liar then like don't lie to her that you're not going to say anything to anyone yeah so you're lying you're a liar you're a lying liar so then he goes on his date with katie who ended up winning they did not fuck but like when they did the rose ceremony and it was just gabby and katie at the end katie was like i know that you and zach fucked like when he was walking ariel out and gabby was like i feel like i'm wearing a fucking scarlet letter like this is so embarrassing because like and then she didn't know that it was a storyline like a whole plot point until it

god until it showed that's horrible yeah so she was like fucking mortified on after the final rose i can't believe the producers did that to her yeah like i can and i can't right i'm just like stop pretending to have values right right it's like everybody knows what y'all are up to now well and the thing that is so fucking annoying to me is like they're called fantasy suites it's implied yeah but then the second that it's like actually acknowledged that one of them has had sex like any woman on that show has had sex then everyone flips the fuck out it's like entrapment yeah like well you're not mad that this fucking idiot is like potentially sleeping with three women anyways yeah like right anyway what a dumb fuck it's it's fucking the whole thing is stupid

he looks boring and he seems like he has a shitty personality he is very boring he is just very blah like there isn't really anything like redeeming about him outside of him like believing the girls in the house and they were like this girl's trouble he would be like all right bye and it was like that was good it's like oh that's really refreshing you know because usually they like make it to the top three like the toxic that's so true but anyway so um after that rose ceremony when Gabby was like I feel like I'm wearing a scarlet letter Zach like wouldn't look at Gabby when he came back he was like only looking at Katie and Gabby and her like interviews was like he wouldn't even fucking look at me like something's wrong so can you imagine sleeping with someone and then

him announcing it to everybody after telling you it was going to be private it like my mind is blown yeah that is horrible and bewildering yeah it's very violating yeah it just he removed and this is what ariel said to him on after the final rose like you removed everybody's agency by just announcing that you weren't gonna have sex with them like you could have he's she's like if you would have just had a conversation with me you would have known i also didn't want to have sex but like you we could have made that decision as a couple rather than that's what you should be doing yeah you should be making decisions as a couple he like thought it was like a good guy thing i guarantee it but so gabby like had it in her gut the reason that we wanted to talk about

this besides i just clearly obsessed is like gabby came out of the limo when like during the engagements and she like stepped in mud and she was like you guys just parked this car in mud like when it actually matters when katie gets here do not park here like she just knew she wasn't going to be the one that got proposed to and in her little interviews she was just like yeah i just like know in my gut it's not me like i feel like i would have woken up today and known and i and i just know it's not me so when she she went up to like get broken up with and he was like doing his little monologue and he was like but just like a bunch of dumb empty things we have a lot of fun together i'm just improvising you're and you're so beautiful and kind this is basically

exactly what it was um we had fun on that one date yep but yep it's always a connection just isn't there i've had a lot of fun falling in love with you but was i think what he said but then so she was like you don't have to say it please don't say it and then he just kept monologuing and she was like please stop please stop i don't want to hear it just please stop and he kept going and she was like for the love of god fucking shut up he has zero respect for women just based on what i've seen and heard it's fucked so she went back into the when she was driving away she was like i just want to fucking go home and then like when she was monologuing on her way out she was like going back and forth between like my intuition was telling me that

this was what was going to happen but then i second guessed it and like maybe i'm the reason that i put like that he is gone now i have to find this tweet because it like summed it up perfectly he he fully did everything to himself it seems like he's the most hated bachelor in bachelor nation now this person that girl cjm on twitter said gabby's exit monologue is a textbook description of what it's like to live with anxiety the constant cycle of doubting then trusting your intuition but some but somehow always feeling like you got it wrong that is exactly how it feels to have a strong intuition and always be anxious about it because you it's hard to differentiate like is this anxiety that I'm feeling or is it my intuition and that comes

from like being gaslit to be honest like and I know that the word gaslighting and gaslit is like thrown around way too much but it's literally just like someone leading you to believe something other than the truth like they want you to believe a false reality so like deep down they might feel one way but they're telling you something else yeah and they're they're not consciously doing this thing they're doing it because they're trying to protect themselves from feeling bad by making you feel bad when they do tell you the truth but i don't know when you're telling the truth and you're doing it in like a considerate way if the other person has a reaction and you know you did your best to be kind and caring and empathetic how they react it's just because it's

triggering them and that's out of your control you you did your best and like i don't know as long as you approach something with empathy when you know it's going to be hard that's like the best you can do yeah but yeah when you are trying to avoid telling the truth because you just don't want to have any sort of conflict you're gaslighting someone so keep that in mind um i was listening to a podcast earlier uh i feel like intuition has been a theme for me the last few days um and i was listening to a podcast earlier that our psychiatrist actually recommended to me it was an episode and um she sent it to me it was lovely but the host was interviewing like a relationship expert and this guy like was saying like a woman's intuition is so powerful and i was like

hearing this from a man incredible yeah thank you groundbreaking i also had a conversation with one of um my other friends who's very like um i don't know she's she's like very exploratory with like her spirituality she's very grounded um and uh she was i was telling her a story and she was like men don't understand that like women can see the future yeah and i think it's it's maybe it's evolutionary to be able to like sense emotional patterns and behaviors um it doesn't require like it's always subconscious from what i've noticed like when i am suspecting something's off and I end up being right but you're like you're doubting it because you're being told something else right um but yeah that I don't know I've just been getting more and more in touch with

my intuition good that's so good because we really are taught to like pat it down yeah well and to be fair it's because we're trying to like see the best in someone and believe what they're telling us but if you have this continuous feeling like something's wrong something might be wrong yeah and being able to differentiate between when it's anxiety and when it's intuition i was talking with my friend about this last night that when we were watching the bachelor like before i got on prozac this isn't even a joke it's kind of funny but it's not a joke i used to wake up every morning and be like i know that the big earthquake is gonna happen today i just know yeah i was like it's gonna happen today and i just know every fucking day and it's like

that's anxiety you know yeah like to just feel like like the world is about to end all the time is one thing and to feel like something might be a little bit off with someone is another thing and it could also be anxiety and it's it's really difficult to like differentiate between the two but like knowing when to tap in and when to like kind of just like keep your ear perked to something is such a good habit to get into just like i'm just gonna keep my eye on that thing because that was maybe my intuition but it's tough it's really tough because you get you get told too often that it's just anxiety yeah yeah it's true and then when you're feeling anxious who in like um a relationship or a friendship like any kind of relationship with another person

the best thing you can do is when you go to them like make it clear you're not asking them because you want reassurance or like your ego is feeling a type of way and you need to be like comforted it's because you want to know the truth and knowing the truth is even if it's hard to hear it's going to be the best thing for both of you in the long run because when you don't tell someone the truth about what's going on you're taking away their agency you're taking away their choice to decide what they want to do yeah with all the information that they have and when you make a decision for them like you're clearly doing it to protect yourself you're not doing it for like the consideration of the other person yes yeah anyways the lesson is listen to your gut

when it's calling for you should we just end our episodes with that yeah that's it yeah listen to your gut um it can be hard to sort through the noise yeah in your in your head um before you can get clear with your gut but that's where things different versions of self-care come in to play like journaling all of your thoughts and feelings and writing them out um also like writing out a conversation before you have it if it's like difficult and important i think that's like a really good idea because then you don't like forget things that you want to say and then you can also get all of your feelings out like yeah if it's something that's upsetting for you you can get all your feelings out and then you can rewrite it in a way that will be neutral and easy to

for that other person to process yeah i don't know about you but like when i have a difficult conversation and i feel like i forgot to say a thing i won't feel better after having the conversation i'll be like i have to go back and have that conversation again wait yeah hold on i forgot to say this thing not to bring this up for the one millionth time but I forgot to also add this yeah right but that's such a thing because it's just like if you're doing if you're having a conversation to pacify yourself in any way even if that's not like the main reason but if that's like you know something that you want to get out of it but then you aren't able to pacify yourself because you forgot to say something it's the fucking worst because it just compounds on itself

and then you just have to I don't know anyway all that to say I think writing it out makes a lot of sense i think it's such a good idea um i have a fun game for you fucking love jumping in games so this is an idea from last week um we're gonna have amelia guess dwight shrew and andrew tate quotes so i pulled a bunch of them she's not as familiar with the office as the rest of us tacky millennials are i've watched two episodes maybe three i'm gonna read all of the quotes like dwight shrewd because i haven't uh heard andrew tate talk too many times a slight british accent i'm like where the fuck is this man from hell bugai yeah that's exactly right my sheer indefatigability oh perspicacity was the word i couldn't remember last week my sheer i did see

that quote my perspicacity um okay are you ready i don't know let me let me get situated i'm gonna have some water yeah wet that whistle you know too often i feel like i could just say nothing and i always i choose to say something you know what do you mean like you know you could just drink your water and me not say a weird thing about it but then you wouldn't have a podcast that's true you're like i'm gonna drink some water i'm like fuck yeah baby girl wet that whistle what that whistle okay the more stress you can tolerate the more successful you'll become as a person andrew tate correct fuck yeah one for one baby i don't believe in coddling people in the wild there is no health care in the wild health care is ow i hurt my leg i can't run a lion eats

me and i'm dead well i'm not dead i'm the lion you're dead jesus christ andrew tate that's shut the fuck up he would say that that's so funny okay you couldn't handle my undivided attention andrew tate dwight shrewd fuck fuck damn but he would say that he would this is blowing my mind i know when you said it i was like she's oh my god i had a realization okay um here's the next one i don't know how to administer cpr however i will not administer cpr unless you are an attractive woman dwight shrewd it's entertaining fuck he's fucking said that yeah he also says so he said i don't know how to administer a cpr yikes what does that mean and then instead of attractive woman he says

hot female i just changed it because i wanted them to kind of like sound similar so it'd be harder to guess he said hot feet he would only administer life-saving cpr to a hot woman and then he he goes on to say he would not administer cpr to like an old fat man and i didn't read the whole quote because i was just like oh shut the fuck up i fucking hate this man okay um i feel like we were leveled out now and you'll be able to maybe guess a little i don't think so liz people underestimate the power of nostalgia nostalgia is truly one of the greatest human weaknesses second only to the neck dwight shrewd correct nice okay that last part gave it away if you are over 15 and like cartoons you are a loser andrew tate

everybody likes hold hey hold the phone like he has to like cartoons he for sure watches like hentai porn absolutely that's a cartoon he's like a top subscriber of hentai porn 100 um okay before i do anything i ask myself would an idiot do that and if the answer is yes i do not do that thing andrew tate it's dwight shrewd i have to go to work today change your language i get to go to work today dwight andrew tate this this feels scripted and i literally it's literally not i have i can't tell okay there's only a few more why have money if you're still a nobody in the eyes of the government what the fuck does that even mean andrew tate yeah okay i'm like not even dwight is that dumb i am fast to give you a reference point i'm somewhere between a snake

and a mongoose and a panther dwight he would just andrew tate would just start at panther faster than a panther okay you know what's even cooler than a triceratops every other dinosaur that ever existed dwight thank god i because if that was andrew tate i would have to like see what the conversation was and i don't want to go down that rabbit hole okay well some of these quotes are just like things he's tweeted too oh jesus okay it takes intellect to love which is why stupid people are full of hate andrew tate and then this is the last one because he's an idiot and he's full of hate yeah it's true cell phone yeah in cell cell

phone in cell phone i am better than you have ever been or ever will be andrew tate dwight shrew but i guarantee i would put money on that he probably said that yeah i'm sure he said that exact thing this went better than i expected i'm really proud of the quotes i chose yeah those you did a great job good work good work that was i was expecting it to be a little bit easier than that i'm not gonna lie damn that proves my point man this is i there is something about this man that feels like a social experiment it has to be i it must be if he wasn't in prison god his hair is just getting worse oh god i love it so much if y'all haven't saying like i i choose to be bald no no sorry no clear no if you haven't seen these photos of andrew tate's hair since he's

been in prison please do yourself a favor and google it we don't bald shame around here unless you're andrew tate yeah and also like what a fucking like that sucks that he's like no i i choose to be this way and he just like i don't there's probably a bunch of men that are balding that feel like shit about themselves yeah andrew tate and like people like him are just like the result of just shoving all your trauma down and trying to build up your ego to protect yourself to the point where you are like entirely detached from reality damn it's pretty sad it's a good escape escapism thing for them it's like i made a video where i was like i don't know if like these people are like so like they actually are bad people or if they just want to be a part

of something and then i got stitched by somebody that's like a sociologist on on tiktok that was like that's actually exactly what it is and like talked about like all this research behind like why these people in doc like indoctrinated by these like andrew tate yeah kevin samuels type people yeah that makes sense because like um if you've looked at studies of people in solitary confinement that gives us that gives us enough information to show that like human interaction is like critical to our mental stability and our mental health yeah and probably even like making progress as a person it's kind of sad it's like there's so many shitty parents out there that these people just like cannot cope with having feelings it's really sad

oh I have been I wrote it down hold on so I journal for my mental health um but I was talking to my therapist um and I can't remember what specifically we were talking about um I know we were talking about someone who was pissing me off or something um and she was like oh do you do the like meta prayer or something like that it's it's m-e-t-t-a it's buddhist okay uh and um i think this is a good thing to meditate on it's always may may i but she says may they like when you're upset at someone um so it's may i be happy may i be well may i be safe may i be peaceful and at ease and if you're upset with someone you can just repeat this so you can like kind of come to like a more level emotional thing so like may they be happy may they be well may they be safe may they

be peaceful and at ease and i don't know it kind of like when i was thinking about it today i was just like uh i don't know it did give me peace because it it can be really like easy to choose to be angry instead um and then like yeah it's it but it's not as peaceful no yeah right it's like a lot less work to be angry than to like forgive someone but it's also not yeah it's not as peaceful yeah and i'm sure it like makes your cortisol levels just like spike if you are like i'm gonna stay mad at this yeah it's stressful to be mad about something sometimes anger is one of my biggest motivators kind of like revenge yeah you know yeah like if someone says i can't do something or they think i'm incompetent i'm like a fucking bet there is there is an anger spectrum

yeah for sure that's true certain kinds of anger mobilize me and certain kinds of anger paralyzed me oh shit take that andrew tate bars fucking bars how's that for a fucking quote andrew tate bugatti bugatti um perspicacity stupid ass uh but i did want to share this story that my therapist told me that i have been applying to other areas of my life um so the story is she her sister and her husband went out for pizza and her sister was ordering everyone's pizza and she gets to her husband and she's like what do you want and then he's like oh I'll just take whatever so she orders him whatever and then uh gives him the pizza and then he starts picking all the toppings off and she's like hold on what the fuck are you doing and he's like oh

i don't mind just taking off what i don't want to eat and then she's like no but i mind i asked you what you wanted and you could have just told me what you wanted and so now they have this phrase in their household which is i need you to order your pizza like you need to get clear you can't just be wishy-washy you need to be forthcoming i fucking love that yeah because there is it's so annoying when like somebody's like oh yeah i'm just cool with whatever and then it's unhappy with whatever they're actually not okay with it yeah and then not to say he wasn't okay but it's just like you had the opportunity to say what you wanted and you didn't and then you are now wasting your time and you wasted her time when liz first told me that it was like so mind-blowing for me

like i love that metaphor because it's really true it's like when like any sort of like difficult decision when the person's just from like deciding where to go to for dinner and then like deciding like a big life thing yeah when they're like i'm fine with whatever and then they're clearly not it's so fucking frustrating yeah because you're like i i didn't ask you so you would affirm yeah what i was saying i asked you because i sincerely wanted to know where you were at and what you want yeah because i want to consider that in my decision making process because that's how relationships with people work at least the good ones yeah right that's so it's so good i love that metaphor i really do so order your fucking pizza yeah friends fucking i'm gonna

need you to order your pizza yeah whatever idiot i end up marrying he's gonna order the fuck out of that pizza fucking better what do you have a few things okay um this is kind of now out of left field based on the conversations we've been having but this is a fun thing i asked on instagram um what some of the most like either disgusting or strange like flirtatious dms they've ever gotten and i got some good ones hell yeah i'm gonna read some of them here are some highlights someone said will you please use me as a toilet more than once oh no more than once did he think he was saying like sit in my sit on my face like i feel like use me as a chair chair would be more appropriate it would be way better use me as a seat use my face as a seat use me so i don't think

that's what i don't think that's what he meant so listen people need to consent to your kinks consent is our kink uh-huh oh speaking of kinks this was another one that somebody got someone asked me how much it would be to send videos of me stepping on bugs interesting foot fetish you know i've said this before we don't kink shame around here but i do think it's interesting how bold foot fetish people have been feeling recently they they are very bold i think a lot of them are scammers you think so yeah they're just trying to get like sexy pictures from you for free and then just dip yeah had a girl send me a snap of her asshole and the caption was i'm winking at you ew yep that is kind of funny though it's a little funny there's a dude who replies to

every story asking when i'm gonna wear leather trousers that is a straight man that sent me that so that's a man and his dms asking him constantly when you buy them for me and then never post a picture that's a great fucking idea i guess only if you want leather trousers yeah they're in they are in he also does own leather trousers i've seen them um benign guy answered oh this he said i don't know but once i went back and unsent a dm from three and a half years earlier out of embarrassment because she just left him on red i thought that was so i'm like this is the most thing that i've ever heard you say that's relatable this one this is the last one that i'm gonna read it's an artist sent me drawings of his dick all the time bougie unsolicited dick pics

can you oh my fucking god do you think they did that like back in the war when they used to like write to each other picture of their dick my dearest gwendoline maybe it's been the fourth night that is so fucking obnoxious yeah that is so like beam me up soft boy yeah and then he like writes a poem to go with it yeah smooth and soft my large cock is i like when it is filled with jizz fuck can make it a limerick okay there once was a winner named garth who liked oh god I picked a name that doesn't rhyme with anything Garth Harth

there once was a yeah okay okay okay yeah that's good that's good there once was a weiner named Garth who liked to make women barf no oh like gagging yeah this is I'm not going to move on from this bit until I get a limerick out of this

vomit on his cock he'll give you a knock and that's why he named his penis garth does it end with the first word that you were that you were using to run um it can but it's supposed to rhyme yeah yeah yeah oh yeah okay okay anyway well well i just said i wasn't going to move on but this is going to actually drive me nuts if i stay on it so um come back next week for my penis limerick actually maybe i'll put one i'll put one on um patreon okay okay speaking of which i kind of want to tell one of my patreon stories when we're done recording oh yeah let's do that so we'll put a little um tiny itty bitty baby mini

so about this one time at band camp at band camp no this one time that i literally can't tell on the podcast because you'll understand when you hear the story i can't wait but anyway is it something about barfing on a penis no oh well that was the thing that we were just talking about with garth don't be mad at me no you're right you're just trying to put two and two together here that was that was out of pocket of me no but i will put my penis limerick and this story that i can't tell on the podcast on patreon love that it's one tier for the price of a cup of coffee you can read a penis limerick i think that is absolutely worth it that's that's a steal actually honestly i can't think of a better deal out there no get your penis limerick today by calling okay no all right

here's the other thing that i had to talk about oh sorry one more i know that i just said we were moving on but somebody called someone's butt a turd cutter thanks i hate it yeah a turd cutter now i can't think of anything else no liz had this idea of she came across a tiktok of these girls like was that like a nikki minaj kind of like i feel like it was i i feel like it was paying um homage for sure to nikki minaj but it was so fucking funny and you'll yeah you should look it it's kind of old um it's by cassidy condy c-a-s-s-i-d-y-c-o-n-d-i-e but they have this like bit that they were doing as a game like rapping like nikki minaj and i was saying to liz i wanted to like play a game like um we've played in the past and she was like oh my god

we should do this and then i went fucking nuts on writing them and liz like a normal person hasn't written any yeah i haven't had time she hasn't had time but she's also normal i spent way too much time sitting and writing these i was cackling to myself and i'm scared you're not gonna think they're funny i will should i read all of them should i save some until okay i'm gonna read some of my favorite pussy a cocoon but a fly in it thank you that's one of my favorites i like that pussy so loyal you can rely on it oh fuck yeah oh shit she she came with the bars she came with the bars bars um this one's my favorite but it's like it i was reading these to my friend last night when he was over and he was like that that's not gonna land but you know you know

the fleetwood mac song landslide yes okay pussy built its world around you landslide in it i like that okay i'll do one more oh this one was from him i'll read his okay this is by demeter if you follow me on instagram you've seen him plenty of times beat that pussy up get violent of course a man would write that pretty good i was like i am going to say that and i'm going to credit you um so next week we're going to do more of these i have way too i have way too many i think my favorite from uh the original creators is um pussy pathological come lie in it so fucking good it's so they had really really good ones uh-huh uh-huh anyway all right send us yours yeah i fucking love this bit and we'll

perform them for you yeah because clearly if you just listen to the last three minutes like i perform she puts her pussy into it i put my whole pussy and my pussy hole oh my god that was another thing i wish i could take back before i finished saying it i like oh god bless america um i don't know if i have anything else to talk about today this might be a little bit of a shorty so shorty so but listen y'all can head right over to the patreon for a little extra on top it's i need to vent about this thing that i'm talking about little sprinkle on top a little look at the confetti a confetti who doesn't love a good secret i know i do liz i fucking love a good secret especially when it's not mine because

then i have no stake in the game yeah you don't have to be stressed out about i can just be shocked yeah and judgmental those those are my two favorite i love judging other people's secrets me too god i fucking love a secret we love you our children i gave you a tough note i think we did better than we did last week that's true that's an improvement be two percent better than you were last week that's what we all that's our goal Thank you.