The Hoely Hour - E135 Lunch Ladies Gone Wild

Episode Date: May 12, 2023

Welcome back! Have you ever been attacked by an automatic toilet? It's like an involuntary bidet. Amelia gives a news update on an increase in throat cancer, Liz shares some girlboss advice, and Amelia survived a road rage attack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

we will look like lunch ladies the rest of the trip i don't care i don't give a lunch ladies in bikinis yeah i would watch that show whatever it is lunch ladies gone wild welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com exciting news everybody first of all welcome back we took a week off because

amelia was enjoying some time in hawaii maui baby and then i needed a break which is as valid as being gone we both had a vacation mine was just a brain vacation god i love a fucking brain vacation yeah bv the new bv the new bv bacterial vaginosis and brain vacation um brain vacation sounds like it could also be this sounds like the ointment you would put on bacterial vaginosis brain vacay taking care of it with brain vacay yeah it's like all like the commercial is like just people dancing the and then like some kind of big like uh costumed yes made up being yes like one big like bacteria like fucking up their dance moves have you seen um the memes where people are saying that like clifford the big red dog looks like a commercial for medication i have and that's so

fucking true this is my anxiety yeah that's so fucking funny even though it's big it's easy to take care of with flexipro it's have you seen those memes that are like um the joker dancing down the stairs like joaquin phoenix's joker dancing this down the stairs and they're like this is what it looks like when they're like saying all the side effects for drugs it's true they're always just people like fucking like dancing it down and yeah the voiceover is like may cause death like ferris bueller's yeah yeah yeah they're all singing that song um anyways welcome back to all of us you me listeners welcome back yeah i went to hawaii for the first time y'all um while you were doing that i was buying a very expensive litter robot i'm so

excited to hear how this goes and my cats are afraid of it um so i had to follow the directions on the website which is to put the box that it comes in over it to kind of try and lure them in because they like boxes that's so funny and then they also suggested to unplug it so if they get and use it it doesn't go off immediately because that freaks them out really the first time they were both very they were very interested for a while watching it spin around and do its little practice cycles and then they decided that it was a hostile environment and they were afraid of it so i mean like automatic toilets kind of freak me out so i get it have you ever like had an automatic toilet yep you already know what i'm saying flush while you're sitting on it yeah and

then you're you just get a butthole bath that you did not want it just shoots right into your asshole and you're like no dirty toilet water butthole bath that caught me off guard it is upsetting it is that happened to me a couple weeks ago violating yeah i mean yeah that's like not consenting to a bidet this is a perfect transition into a story i was going to tell you that i held off on so um i was at i was skiing at crystal mountain uh which if you've been there um they had closed down like a lot of the lifts and like runs so there's only one running was that just like because it's that point in the season yeah and they're they're preparing to like close for the summer um it's also a tourist location so you can take the lift up to the top so you can see

rainier and mount saint helen it's beautiful um but it is very annoying having to like try and navigate around all of these like tourists so um i was in line for the bathroom use the bathroom you know it's a bunch of skiers and snowboarders who have been probably eating lodge food and crushing beers all day um and as you can assume that's not always going to be the cleanest environment no um and you know how when sometimes people poop there's just marks on the toilet that that was in the bathroom when i was in there i don't really care i'm like i had to pee so badly yeah so i was like this is fine whatever what am i gonna do wait for like maybe another bathroom to open up yeah there's only three right so i get out and then this woman's going in with her

kid and then she's like excuse me the toilet's not flush i was like it literally is and then she was blaming you for the streaks yeah and i was like and she's like no it's not and i looked and i was like yeah have you ever been in a public restroom there's a just like skid marks in the toilet i don't know what to tell you and then what did you actually say to her that's what i said oh yeah i was like i don't know what to tell you and then i just washed my hands and left but i was so fucking mad i was like how dare you say this to me in the women's restroom in front of all of these strangers yeah blaming me that someone else pooped it's also it's also a bathroom everybody poops yeah you know and like what do you want me to do go in there and scrub it like i was i wanted

to fucking strangle her that's really and her stupid little child now her child was fine but i was like you should not be having kids right also you're like yeah you're in a public restroom have you seen how many people are coming in and out of the bathroom yeah excuse me it's not flushed it it it enrages me even just thinking about it now that's so embarrassing yeah and it even should not it's embarrassing like i'm embarrassed well yeah you should make a spectacle out of it yeah and then i'm like i don't want people in this bathroom to think that i like am gross and dirty yeah even though everybody poops and that's normal yeah i mean if i was like observing that interaction i would be like that woman fucking sucks yeah i wouldn't

like be like oh my god this bitch shit well and then the most obnoxious part too is like i'm going up to wash my hands and then there's this other girl who um i don't know she was clearly doing an outdoor sport but um she had like she was so pretty and like had her like makeup on i'm like how do you even still have makeup on like mine always comes off and i don't even wear that much because i just know it's gonna right just sweat it off so i was just like next to this pretty girl i look stupid in my like schlarper outfit it's yeah that's not a good combo it's embarrassing and i was just like you all don't even understand how cute i am yeah and i want to be that is something that should be perceived it should be not you that justice for liz yes justice for me

i was wearing a five panel hat and those are just like a little too big for my head but it's like nice to have the extra shade yeah um totally but they look a little silly on me i bet you looked fantastic thank you I have been telling women that I encounter in public how pretty I think they are because I'm just like we should be doing more of that yeah I'm like you know I choose my moments there are so many like pretty women that work out at my gym and I'm just like I'm always to my trainer I'm always like oh my god look at her she's so pretty do you think she's doing so well she knows like her squats look so good like should I tell her goals I don't approach them yeah I'm just like let's just not have that conversation in the gym but if I'm like at a

bar or like really anywhere else I'm like excuse me you're so pretty and every single time the reaction is like what it's so nice and you know what I think we hear it so rarely too because none of us remember how to socialize anymore so I don't know I don't remember but I feel like men don't really because it can be creepy right like you're beautiful yeah like well i'm smart too fucking dick yeah yeah oh is that the only thing you've noticed about me why don't you ask me about my sat score i took when i took the sat i don't remember what i got but i did i took it twice and i did worse the second time me too wait seriously i even took a class that also happened to mr liz really yeah i didn't take a class yeah i took a class a very expensive class with a very expensive

book and i did worse i feel like they do it to to everybody on purpose seems like maybe i have heard this from other people this experience my best friend got almost a perfect sit score she was like a few points off and she's like i have to take it again i'm like did you take the act at all no i didn't take the act either i'm drinking i'm drinking i'm drinking a coke zero today i love that it's new for me is it what what were you saying about is coke zero the same as a diet coke okay so here's what the guest told me okay because he worked for coca-cola so i can actually believe what he said of course he did he was in sales for coca-cola which is probably the worst position to be at he gives me nepo baby energy yeah i mean he is okay um but anyway uh he was

saying that they made coke zero because people didn't like the taste of diet coke so it's diet coke but it tastes like coke okay basically it does it have like a different ingredient yeah um does it use stevia or something it uses alcohol sugar oh so it's not um aspartame it is aspartame oh it is so i think there must be multiple in here i don't know something in diet coke just gives me diarrhea so maybe coke zero will be better for me yeah that's true you have had multiple instances where i've been around amelia has had to rush me home before twice yeah and but it might have been the mac and cheese you know there were two things in in very similar yeah the mac and cheese and the diet coke so a stomach bug was going around when

i was in hawaii and i was like nobody fucking touch anything that i love everybody keep your hands to yourself wear a mask it was awful wear hair nets taking people down one by one plastic gloves we will look like lunch ladies the rest of the trip i don't care i don't give a lunch ladies in bikinis yeah i would watch that show whatever it is lunch ladies gone wild i think we found our episode name already lunch ladies gone wild we've had a few good ones butthole bath is up there too um forgot about that one already uh so frank ordered the um spreader bar oh shit did it come you did wait do you want to share another announcement i've been thinking i don't know

he talked about this yesterday me and him you can even leave this little teaser in if you want oh okay amelia has a secret i'll probably eventually talk about it okay i mean i no i will i will actually eventually talk about it you will but but i gotta figure out a few things um which i'll talk to you about off the podcast oh hell yeah but you guys you guys don't get to hear the secret and you know it's good yeah because i tell y'all everything um we we have very few secrets yeah if you couldn't tell yeah i mean it's something that i'm excited to talk about i just you know there's i want to be i want to have tact about it um fair enough but so we ordered this spreader bar well he did and it came when i was in hawaii and every time i facetimed

him he would just like show it to me on the floor he's just like do you know how hard it is to exist with this in my room but we finally used it saturday and that shit is fucking wild we only used it for foreplay because like yeah when i told you about it you're like it's really like inconvenient yeah we were both like yeah that like makes sense did you do did you at least try it okay no we just used it for foreplay but i would definitely be like i don't know i'm gonna try it anyways yeah fuck it i mean i'm sure we will but we were just like it was the first time we had had sex since i was back so we were both just trying to be like let's try to make this as efficient and easy as possible but he got cuffs too so he cuffed my hands behind my back and then used the

spreader bar holy shit like i came so fast during sex because of how good the foreplay was and i was like just a little added prop patron like saint of sex liz ball has changed my life thank you in ways that i'm forever grateful for i am honored to have that title yeah patron of sex patron saint of sex patron saint of sex p s s l b t m thank you yeah let's make that into merch okay me like the virgin mary we need to talk about merch if y'all have any ideas or like wants and hopes and dreams about merch we're like due for a refresh yeah yeah the the hot girl summer merch did not hit i think that we just didn't talk about it enough yeah because it's really cute like whenever i tell anyone about it they're like oh what and they'll look and they're like oh fuck yeah like

i want the boxers you know what i mean like people like it i think people just don't know about it yeah so here i am we have merch plugging the merch and also plugging the discord because frank joined the discord y'all you don't know his name on there but he's on there mr liz is on there i know i can't remember if i've already said that squints is also on there still oh yeah exciting yeah so i mean i don't know if any of them are ever going to engage with anything but frank said that the discord has been quiet so yeah mr liz is just on it uh so he can be mad at me when i say something he doesn't like i mean like calling him your side piece we'll see if i keep that in

it has facilitated one argument today i'm like yeah you know what my listeners are gonna side with me right because you're right why don't you start your own podcast mr liz yeah call it the broly hour get out of here yeah this is my podcast the broly hour that's good i like that someone's got to do it um so yeah spreader bar great investment i love that yeah i need to use our code still yeah i suggested a wedge to mr liz because i was like sometimes our height difference can be a little challenging for me yeah right height is very important for a lot of positions yeah and you know what sometimes it is just a little too it's too much it's too much so i was thinking that a wedge would help alleviate

some of that i also thought a swing would be fun yes swing yes um i am a little concerned about the logistics because yeah just i i don't know will it break my door frame or that's the it's you never know with like older buildings like you don't even know like my my place is brand new and like a lot of there's like not a whole lot of integrity in how it's built yeah so like if i hung anything on my door i would fuck up my door easily you just never know and then if i had to get a stand where where am i even gonna put that i don't have room for that i think about this all the time i've been wanting to get a peloton yeah where where would you put that i wouldn't that's the issue on the roof maybe that's what my mom said yeah but i don't have to move it inside when

it rains which is often just get it a little um little jacket yeah a little jacket a little umbrella yeah a little little yellow raincoat booties it's kind of cute like how people dress their micro pigs they'll be my little peloton um my friend in new york has a new york-sized apartment and has a peloton so i feel like i just can't keep making excuses but i'm not gonna ever it's gonna turn into a coat rack so i'm just not gonna do it but i mean like between sex swings and pelotons i'm having a difficult time in my space no you certainly can't get both no not not in this economy um i heard that you have a talking tit for me oh you were like what i was like what did you hear that we haven't talked about yeah um i do have a talking tit one one breaking boob

i'm excited it's not a very happy one fuck well i'm unexcited though yeah get unexcited liz um i'm appropriately yeah i'm i'm i'm appropriately interested okay perfect wow i'm appropriately interested i'm gonna keep saying i'm gonna say that whenever anybody has something to tell me i'm appropriately interested at a normal level of interest yeah i'm a healthy level of interested yeah i'm not too eager right i'm like playing it cool okay the headline for this is change in oral sex attitudes is causing a rise in hpv related throat cancer not a big shock but still in the news it says cases of throat cancer have been skyrocketing in recent years mainly due to increased levels of hpv

infections caused by oral sex oral pharyngeal cancer is mainly caused by hpv infections and is now more common than cervical cancer also caused by hpv in both the u.s and uk um it was according to an article in the conversation by um hisham mahana a professor of cancer and genomic sciences at the university of birmingham in the uk um according to the article the main risk factor for this kind of cancer is the number of sexual partners you have in your lifetime particularly oral sex with those who have had six or more lifetime oral sex partners being 8.5 times more likely to develop this kind of cancer i'm like how many people have gone down on me and i don't think it's that many to me to be honest yeah i mean

yeah but also would so would the hpv vaccine prevent this yes great question everyone should be getting it they should be they it's it's so important your insurance should cover it until like what your 40s now yeah yeah and you can get it until your 40s now which is another new thing damn yeah because like you can get the shot because they used to say you couldn't get it after um age 25 which why it was like something about like how like cell turnover but like then they realized that's bullshit yeah so i was gonna ask like does it say if it's type 16 or type 18 or both it says as well as causing cervical cancer hpv type 16 and 18 contribute to 50 percent of penile cancer 80 percent of anal cancers 20 percent of mouth and 30 percent of

throat cancers damn yeah hpv and all the conditions that can lead to can be protected against using the hpv vaccine um guard us all nine baby covers nine different types of types of hpv it's so important i think that also includes low risk hpv yeah because low risk hpv is warts yep wow you like are hitting every paragraph in this article listen i've learned so much i know you have i could have written it myself you maybe you did i didn't even check um okay so this is an important paragraph despite men also being able to contract the virus and spread it to other sexual partners boys are often not offered the vaccine at the same time that girls are there is some evidence that men can be protected by herd immunity so long as over 85 percent of women

are vaccinated however this protection fades with fewer vaccinated women according to the conversation article only 54.3 percent of adolescents aged 13 to 15 have received two or three hpv vaccination doses in 2020 damn it's like a little bit over half which is not enough yeah it's wild so anyway educate yourself on this yeah and get get the vaccine everybody everybody get the hpv vaccine well and like that's the thing that is wild to me about um like hpv and the vaccine is like this is the only known like cancer prevention that we have like you can we can like effectively end this type of cancer yeah if we all got vaccinated for it and i think it's because like it has too much of a stigma around it for a lot of people

like because when it was originally marketed it was like you should get that your daughter your young daughter should get this vaccine so she doesn't get cancer from sex and it's like my daughter's not having sex she's 11 yeah and that's fair but that's not what the overall sentiment is right it's like this is preventable cancer and when you get this shot young it will it's more effective yep oh god it's just fucking it's it's really i think i talked about this when we first had this conversation but um a girl in my high school got um she had cervical cancer from hpv oh wow and she like in high school while she was in high school yeah shit and everybody thought she was lying because she was just kind of like if she was one of those girls

that like always talked about how much sex she had you know and like oh we were like at that age where like that was being shamed for anyway regardless that's not the conversation we're having um my mom and I were in the grocery store right after I had gotten my Gardasil shot and we ran into her and her mom and um I for some reason told her that I got the Gardasil shot I don't know it was like came up in conversation naturally and her mom was like oh I wish that we had educated ourselves on that so like confirmed that that was true like it was like a very sad she like it was a very sad reaction it's just like fuck like that's probably a reality for so many people like it's just like too late by the time they realize that they should have done this

thing so it's like why not yeah you're talking to one of them right right so i mean if like let's talk about it like i was very i don't think i've talked very much about this have you talked about it at all yeah you did but it was pretty high level you talked about like okay what you did to like the like leap yeah I had the leap I chose to be unconscious for it um which was the best decision for me um and like I was also very upset at my parents for a while because like they did have a little bit of an anti-vax phase uh when i was younger and then um when i was like having all of these issues and i don't know i was just really mad at my parents especially my mom because i was like this was preventable and you were in charge of my health and now look at what's

happening um so they paid for my surgeries good um i do need to follow schedule a follow-up i keep forgetting it's like been a year now i'll remind you yeah so you're supposed to go every like after you get a leap you should go six months after i had gone in for a follow-up and she was like everything looks great like you're healed um but i haven't gone in since then so it's always good to just time just flies by it really does especially now that i work remotely and i have been doing that for three years i'm like remember when working remote was so slow yeah and not anymore yeah now it's just like a blink and the day is done i know i know yeah now that i'm actually like doing my job the days go by really fast um but yeah like like i was

saying uh if you can you should get the gardasil vaccine regardless of your genitalia yep um and if you are not sexually active, you should still get it. Because why not? Let's eradicate it if we can. Right. Yeah. The whole thing about herd immunity is so real. Yeah. And it can affect your fertility. So especially if you get to the point that I was at where I had to get a leap procedure. Yeah. That is the good word. We have to keep having conversations like that because it really is so important. Yeah. I mean, I didn't know anything until I had to. So I think, yeah, it's helpful to like have people openly talking about it because i also felt like i was the only person experiencing this you know um and i actually had uh i ended up having a friend who

was like literally going through the same exact thing at the same exact time as me so it was like helpful to have another person like understanding how it feels yeah you know and that it does feel like very isolating and scary and a little embarrassing because it's stigmatized still I was just about to say it's like everything that's stigmatized it always you always feel so alone when you're going through it like even things like depression when it's like you're so fucking sad all the time it's like I'm the only person that feels like this because nobody like talks about it because these things are so stigmatized so like having open conversations and like de-stigmatizing it literally makes like a world it just makes a world of difference

most of the people people you know have HPV even if they don't know yeah they could just be carrying it but that doesn't mean it's like actively doing anything in their body most people like it will go away on its own but there is a percentage of people where it doesn't and um i think that percentage is like maybe it's like 30 and that's still pretty high and then the way it develops is like it's there's four stages so stage one and stage two it could still go away but like stage one it's like not really anything to worry about um two and three are kind of lumped together and that's usually when they'll be like you should you should do something about this and then stage four is um it's called in in situ or whatever yeah uh which means yeah that means it's cancer

it's just hasn't gone through the mucosal level or layer of your body um and once it hits the mucosal layers when it becomes cancer like that you should be concerned about so they're like pre-cancerous cells is in situ yeah i mean i don't know if yeah i guess it would be pre-cancer they call it that they call it pre-cancer to make you feel better oh but it's cancer yeah so that's where i was at i had waited until i i just like kept thinking like it would go away and i'm special um so i don't know if i i regret i don't think i regret waiting just because i would have had to do it anyways and i wouldn't have been able to afford like going under i think i would have been pressured into like because they do it when you're awake

and that is they're like oh it doesn't hurt and that is just like honestly that's like medical abuse in my opinion um and women's pain is always minimized so like so you know maybe some people don't feel anything but yeah i was reading horror stories yeah i mean like because if you're not getting usually i advise against reading things on the internet but when it's like about like women being yeah their pain not being taken seriously i think educating yourself on it is so important beforehand i saw a tiktok recently of a woman explaining like um how women's like pain isn't really taken seriously um but also a doctor was explaining like um i think morphine is just to keep you under and then they have something else for pain so she was like yeah i

chose to go under for this like common procedure and i saw that they gave me more morphine at some point because my body was telling them that i was in so much pain or no they gave her like a painkiller they gave her more of a painkiller um while she was under um and she's they like have you monitored so yeah her body was signifying that like it was in so much pain that they needed to provide more painkillers while she was unconscious so if you can choose to not be awake for it you should yeah but it should in my opinion it should just be offered oh yeah i agree i agree um i don't want to have a memory of it because i knew i would have been traumatized yeah i mean that's smart i also think like because you you saying like i felt like i was like maybe

special and it would go away on its own i think there's another piece of that too that like when you have anxiety and you're so like tuned into your body and like you notice when something feels a little bit off but something like that doesn't feel like anything like it's hard to imagine it they're actually being something wrong because you're like you're not having an anxiety response to something's wrong yeah you know like whenever my stomach hurts a little bit i'm like that's i have stomach cancer one indicator is i would bleed every time i had sex it wasn't like it was a ton but right it was enough where i was like fuck again but you can like explain that away too so it's like there's all of these reasons why like you you would like

just not like think much about it you know so having those like yearly checkups is it feels like a pain in the ass pain in the vag to like go to the gyno like all the time but it's like so much easier to do that than to go through something like what you went through yeah and it's like it could have all been prevented if you know my parents one were educated about it and two took me to get that vaccine we're gonna get another one-star review of us being propaganda vaccine propaganda well also like okay let's talk about i was talking about this to one of my co-workers this is fucking insane just like the kind of like new age the like new age lady to like alt-right anti-vax pipeline is so bananas like the spiritualist pipeline yes um and i was

just thinking about like the difference between like someone being an anti-vaxxer used to be like a liberal thing yeah um and then now people are like i'm living off the land and i'm a carnivore or like like trying to be um like a cave woman like now that is like a right thing to like a right-wing thing to do but that used to not be used to be like a liberal thing yeah and it kind of still is in different ways it's so it's like the hustle mentality you go so far left that you become right yeah it makes a full circle it's just it's and i don't think people realize how similar they have that in common yeah it's just like that's why politics shouldn't be your identity you know it's so fucking real unless you're a leftist no i'm just kidding

then please make it your entire personality like yeah just don't like agree with msnbc yeah or i agree yeah don't agree with a politician blindly just because they like slap that label on themselves right unless it's bernie sanders i'm just gonna like caveat this with everything unless it's bernie i mean that is the one unless god i love him so much um i'm a bernie bro through and through i've accepted this about myself i have i have socks i have bernie sanders socks i went to college with someone that has a bernie sanders tattoo i do have to say though uh when there was that bernie sanders meme i think that was like one of the most annoying times with the mittens yeah yeah i was like we we fucking get

it yeah all right we don't need to be putting it it was it lasted way too it lasted way too long it's also the best thing about bernie sanders is how like inconvenience t is by his own job like i love that meme because i mean i i it needed to die way sooner than it did it's like okay and it's still i still see it you know there was someone like uh in my old neighborhood who had a big printout of that in their window oh my god so i'd pass it on my hot girl walks yes i used to see that yeah it scared me the first time i saw because it was nighttime every time i saw it i was just like take that down yeah you're embarrassing truly it's like very like um gen x borderline boomer meme that's so true like i mean that's everything it's so funny

everything on facebook is that kind of sense of humor cringe yeah that thing i sent liz a screenshot of this on my way here somebody i don't even know who that is i'm sure that he's a seattle actor because that's the majority of the people that i have on facebook because for a while i was like i have to network and they're all not all not all don't cancel me seattle film community there are some cringy characters in any art community yeah yeah yeah well there's the people who are like i know exactly what you mean in any you're right any community yeah there's always some bad apples that are just like god just shut up just shut up just shut up and this guy i don't even know his name because i don't know who he is posted this meme that was like

i want a woman that dreams of this and it was like a woman holding kids in like a field and not this and it was like a boss and it's a girl boss what what like that was the most out of pocket like why not both like why do you need to like tear down like a strong woman by comparing it to another strong woman it just doesn't make any sense if that's what you want then go find that yeah don't fucking post about on facebook why is that someone else's responsibility who's still posting on facebook first of all unless it's are we dating the same guy which i got kicked out of by the way why i think it's because they thought i was taking screenshots from the group that's the only thing that i can think of but i wasn't and why would they think like yeah like

there's no way that they would think that right that's the only thing i can think of because i'm kicked out but um there's an unfiltered one that's way easier to get into that you should try to get into because it's tea i want to see i want to see the tea um should we read some mail yeah um there's one that is for me um so i'm gonna read that yeah uh it's not about sex it's about work amazing today i was so tired today because my house cut me up all night and so i took i had two shots of espresso and then i took a caffeine pill i got to the gym and my trainer was like do you need a little bit of pre-workout and i was like okay and i thought i was gonna put it in my in my water and she had me dry scoop it and which was difficult but also like horrified heart

i had so that was i like raw dogged like 300 milligrams of caffeine on top of two shots of espresso and take your night adderall yeah oh my god amelia i know but i'm still tired it's just too many stimmies for the day you know that is terrifying um yeah my heart feels fine i did cry earlier because um of a road rage incident that scared me liz got a voice note about that but um should you talk more about that should i i think so it was pretty fucking scary yeah okay i will i will this is a short story because it was a short event but i was driving and i was driving back from the gym and i drive back from the gym around rush hour because that's the time that i go to the gym and it was like stop and go traffic getting off of the freeway and there was this like

lifted white truck behind me just like tailgating me and like laying on his horn and i was just like i wasn't engaging with it because i was just like this person is also like where are you gonna go exactly you know exactly we're all trying to get off on this exit that's one lane and like there was a very tall like box truck in front of me like he saw the car in front of me you know yeah it's taller than your car yeah so i'm like what's the confusion here like are you okay are you pissed about my thick dads who vape for christ bumper sticker like i was trying to figure out what the fuck his problem was he goes around me but as he's going around me the traffic in front of me is lighting up so i'm i speed up going but i i he must have thought that i was like doing that to

like fucking fight and he zooms by me and shoots something like from like a projectile out his window and hits my window and it hits it so loud and so hard right where my head is and like they were like um what's the word i'm looking for like projectiles like coming off of it uh like when it hit my window it like exploded and it was too accurate like shrapnel yeah yeah it kind of looked like that like from my it like went off in a bunch of different directions it was too accurate and too fast for it to have been thrown by his arm so i'm certain he shot something at me i took a screen a picture of his license plate and like the damage that i did to my window which is just like superficial but still and i sent liz a voice note i was so shaken up about this because

it was just like it happened so fast i'd be terrified i was just like the fact that someone like well because you said you thought it was a bb yeah but regardless someone shooting at your window yeah because they're having a road rage moment is horrifying yeah also I was I was so mad when she sent this to me I was like looking up all the different ways I could like try and find this person's identity because I was about to show up at his fucking house yeah I've been in a cranky mood for like a week so I am looking for a good reason yeah I know to vandalize someone's car I really appreciated that Frank had the same reaction he was like I was trying to find his address so i could just like gonna gang up on this like motherfucker mail him empty envelopes

just to like let him know that i know where he lives but like not show up but just like make him a little scared that's brilliant i know but yeah i had you and frank on this and it was making me feel better because i was just like i'm not entirely not convinced to like i might harass this person yeah i i want to i really do want to i called 9-1-1 like 10 minutes later because my dad was like call 9-1-1 yeah absolutely because i was like who do i call like a non-emergency line i didn't know what the fuck to do um but i called 9-1-1 because it's a violent incident now yeah yeah exactly i just read on the website the like wash dot website it's like if two or more things occurred which it did like the tailgating and then like the swerving and the shooting something at me

um then to call so i called and of course 9-1-1 was fantastic about it as they are but then when they transferred me to the cops they were fucking dicks the cops are like you really enter you interrupted us jerking each other off yeah that was exactly what it felt like they were like inconvenienced by this call i was yeah because they can't be bothered to actually do their fucking job no they were like so what happened and then they asked me when this happened i was like like 10 minutes ago and they're like is there a reason you didn't call sooner ma'am like it was 10 minutes ago what do you mean like but i was like like um i'm sorry i've never been shot at in my car yeah i wasn't sure what to do like because normally you don't do anything about

road rage right i was like well i talked to my friends and they told me that i should call i didn't think i didn't know if i should call and they were like okay well do you like do you want follow-up on this and i was like i don't like no i guess they're like sick we don't have to do anything now yeah they took my number and his license how much you want to bet that it was a cop i know that's what i was thinking that's what i said like i bet this guy's a cop i was like what was this like this is cop behavior it did it did feel like cop behavior and it's lifted white fucking truck anyway so um if you want his license plate we'll give it to you guys yeah um i'll air that shit out i don't give a fuck yeah well at this point it's not doxing it's just warning

do you remember that road rage guy in la who's like he was in tesla and he took off um the license plates and he was just like doing insane shit and like yeah yeah horrifying it's so scary this is this could be like this guy you know yeah i mean this felt like a dangerous individual like who reacts like that to me no that is abnormal that is not a normal reaction to anything no it was really scary it was really scary yeah so i appreciate you letting me cry over voice note per usual no i'm always crying over voice note to you you were so shaken up oh my god i'm so fucking scared i would have like pulled over god people are like they really just turn into fucking animals but i know you have like some other shit going on in your life that's making

you upset but this is not the way you deal with that yeah no it's it's it's embarrassing and you can't like sure yeah be mad when someone's being a dumbass but like that's what your horn's for yeah just give them a long honk and doesn't need to be too long yeah just long enough where you're like hey buddy right right get your shit together okay i can handle being flipped off i'll flip you off back and we'll go on with our day yeah i can shoot my car with something also just understand that like most of the time it's an accident yeah so if someone's driving like a dick then yeah like this guy's driving like an asshole whereas like if someone is just like maybe kind of stupid they're driving slow yeah they're just an idiot okay right just let them be stupid let them be

dumb they'll learn eventually anyways thank you for letting me read a letter all right uh so this one is titled what i was just about to say we just got oh sorry straight up cut you off i was like she hates it so much it just i was taking in a deep breath to start singing okay continue this one is titled corporate baddies unite and the author says hey feel free to admit this on the pod but i've written in before about me feeling distant from my friends and your guys insight really helped so much thank you y'all were right i just needed to tell my friends i miss them lol they're all happy bridesmaids now love that love that um anyway i know you two have day jobs i'm in a corporate environment and recently got promoted

up to management holy shit dude i was not prepared for the level of therapist mom pep talker cop that i am playing my mental health is literally in the toilet i'm a person that struggles with not immediately being the best at their job and this job is testing the fuck out of me every day i feel like i wrote this to myself um i feel like i've heard snippets of liz that maybe suggest she's in a leadership and in leadership in some capacity can you share any tips for maintaining your sanity as a millennial girly in the workplace suddenly being the adultiest adult in the room i simultaneously feel empowered at work to affect real results and also like a literal baby person with severe imposter syndrome uh love you guys so i feel like my advice is not going to be

uplifting um i am very bitter about my management position i managed nine people i now my role now I managed three um because I got I essentially started a new team so they put me in charge of the new team yeah I'm I'm much happier but when I was managing nine people it is so hard because it's it's very hard to manage people who are in early in their career and people in general who are like under 26 or maybe even under 20 like 27 and under everything is so personal they take everything so personally and um everything is such a big deal to them and like i was the same exact way so i'm definitely not being judgmental or critical i was like yeah like your your career is just such a big part of your identity and like you're trying so hard and you're

not getting like the acknowledgement that you think that you deserve and honestly rightfully like a lot of people do deserve that acknowledgement but then it's just like you're at the bottom of the food chain so no one is really like acknowledging that right um I was so bitter at that age oh yeah me too I well so I tried very hard when I first started managing people because I wanted to like help develop the things that they were good at and make sure they knew that um and help them kind of like get into a role or career like start on a career path that they enjoy um but i didn't have any power over like i don't have any power over like what money we get so i couldn't like promote anybody and they knew that but i was just like it's good if you know now because even when

you go somewhere else you'll have expectations of like what you want to do yeah um and how you like I also wanted them to stand up for themselves so I was a little bit too much of like a is I don't know what the right word is um like I I just turned into their lawyer where I was like this is unfair and you should email HR about it or like you should try and negotiate for this so um I tried really hard with that and I think like it's easy to get really riled up when you're talking about money yeah um and that's also just how I am it's not like I wasn't trying to purposefully like get them all riled up to get confrontational I was just like you need to start practicing this now yeah so you can negotiate um but I'll be honest like I think the biggest

mistake that I've made in my leadership career is like maybe being a little too transparent with them um and then I think I tried too hard which sounds like it sounds stupid but it's like I would try so hard and get them so hyped up but then they wouldn't be able to go anywhere so that sucks you know it sucks for both of us and then they blame me for it right um even though I don't have any power over that I also like didn't want any of them to feel obligated to like be my pal you know that's weird yeah um so i never really like was like you need to be like this but i i have a hard time just not being like amiable and open and myself like i tried very hard at first to be like i'm gonna be super professional and i'm not gonna be like as candid as i am but that was really hard

for me like that's just how i am like i'm a candid person yeah and like you've dealt with enough shitty management that like you're like you don't want to be i was i think maybe i was trying to be the manager i wish i had or something um which is just someone who's transparent with me and someone who develops my skills right because i felt like i was just like i'm like what am i even trying so hard for you know where like you're just not even acknowledging that i'm good at anything yeah so that sucks but it's very hard when people are early in their career because they outgrow their position so quickly and then when you can't do anything it's it's frustrating for both of you yeah um and then what's my other advice oh the other thing that's really hard is like

you have nine directs but they only have one direct manager and it's you so like trying to balance like the level of dedication i wanted to give each of them on top of my already like soul-crushing exhausting job like i think the best way you can be a good manager is to just like you do have to be a therapist so listen to what you know they care about and try your best but don't make any promises um and but like be cautiously open like be selective about what like how many truths you are giving them i'm not saying like lie yeah just like omit yeah there are some things that are just going to make them upset and not necessarily help them feel confident yeah um and yeah i would say like separate yourself personally from like what they're doing

like i don't i have no desire to go out with like my directs you know yeah i like i i only have a few directs that live here and like as a a group like not just my directs but like the rest of the team um because there's like i don't know i don't know how to you know what i mean yeah the rest of the people we work with like the ones that lived here we went out um and then when those people left and it was just my directs i left because i was like no this is weird and like i don't want them to feel like they can't have fun or do what they want because their manager's here right when the cats away the mice will play yeah and they should they should go have fun yeah i always feel so my manager was a peer of mine before they were my manager and then when she was promoted

like i stopped wanting i just like every time she was around when we would go out i'd be like oh my god you know but like we had been friends like yesterday but i was just like i have to play it cool because she's my manager it just changes things when someone's in a position of power over you um i was gonna say the same thing i mean i've never been a manager and that's by design like i really truly couldn't yeah at this point now I'm like three is maybe my max and like I don't really have any desire to manage more people I just I'm speaking from the perspective of someone who has had a manager like the whole advice of like don't like don't take things personally is like like I think of all the times that I've been upset at my manager for things that I've been

completely out of her control like me not being promoted earlier than I like I should have been promoted like a year and a half before i was promoted yeah like i was doing the work for a year and a half before i finally got promoted to the job that i was doing the work for and i was like such a bitch to her about it because i was just like i was just over it and she was the easiest person to blame and she's like one of those people that have gone to like management seminars like she's like oh no trying to be a boss you know um which good for her whatever but like she handled that so well in the moment she was just like okay like i that's great to know like i wasn't aware that you were like trying to do that like let's work toward that and then we did

and i was like oh i was like kind of you know taking it out on on the wrong person when i like i could have communicated it better like when people are early in their careers they don't know how this shit works so it's like they treat your like they treat their manager as like a punching bag um a therapist a cop like there's just like all the things that you listed in your email you do have to be a little bit of a cop as a manager which sucks yeah i will say um definitely like document your directs like wins and also encourage them to tell you like i could not be everywhere at once like tell me what you did well or if you're proud of something so i can write that down and i can brag about you because i can't do it all myself like yeah when you are

negotiating your salary you're gonna have to know these things anyways so totally um but yeah definitely keep track of all their wins and like let them know regularly because words of affirmation go a long way i really do especially when you work at a corporation where like you're just like a cog what about the one that we met at uh oh my god people were hyping me up so much when i first got there yeah i was like i i had come from a job where i was like being emotionally abused so then i was just like oh my god i am smart and people like me and i'm good at my job i hadn't felt like that before oh you don't need affirmation but it's nice to get it yeah occasionally can i have like one compliment a quarter it goes a long way yeah people don't

realize that it's like well this is your job and you're just doing a job now it sounds like so hypocritical too because i i couldn't keep track of everything my team was doing um okay and then we have one more other little letter that i think is just a fun read it's just a fun moment okay sorry i closed my computer thank you for turning this to me hi first love the pod and you both secondly i just wanted to say like y'all my experience with my cervix was not positive it was either being rammed painfully or opened for an iud but then i had a well-endowed sex friend kind of like mount me from behind and rock his hips and this basically gave me a cervical massage that resulted in a magical orgasm that took me out so that's some joy your cervix can bring you

i feel like the women need to know because i certainly didn't cheers yeah i don't i didn't know that so first of all sex friend is remarkable need to figure we need this man on podcast to explain how to do this yeah i want a cervical massage yeah i would love a massage instead of like a battery ramming yeah what wow and then like almost throwing up and crying that's like hard to imagine it feeling good yeah i'm gonna have to google this when you leave yeah to try and figure it out let me know what you learn i will because i will i need some of that in my life you know what and i think that like um frank seems like he takes direction really well he does indeed um so i think that he'll figure it out no problem he's been trying to the cervical massage

yes or just any of the things so basically a cervical massage yeah okay like basically that man he does his own research i think that he's he does more research on his in his free time than he lets on i want that we love that in a man shall we yeah we shall this was such an efficient episode go us well that's what we needed a little break it is what we needed maybe jump back in maybe my yeah the break was helpful maybe i just need to keep having so many stimulants in my day and maybe that's the secret to to a good episode for me at least yeah it's just the equivalent of cocaine yeah just like be borderline twitching all right well we love you we missed you we did

i missed you i missed you too we should like not go that long without seeing each other again no or bring me with you on vacation okay explicitly oh my god little pocket list yeah would love that all right well we love you our children that might have been our prettiest one yet it was good it's because you started it well done Yeah, oh, oh, yeah