The Hoely Hour - E137 Caring is Cool (with Frank)

Episode Date: May 26, 2023

Hell must have frozen over, because someone wrangled in our girl. We're excited to talk to this week's guest, "Frank" (Amelia's BOYFRIEND) about his relationship with Amelia, as well as some questions from our Angels including what's surprised him about her, and how he got so...familiarized with the female body. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

It feels like I'm like like the prize-winning livestock at the county fair and I'm being like paraded around all the schools now This is my like world tour is like the best cow Welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between I'm amelia samson, and i'm liz ball. Follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour I'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson, and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com we have a very important guest maybe top top maybe three

most important guests we've only had like three yeah i'm like how many guests i think we've had four yeah you're the fourth guest i know fifth fifth guest wow wow we'd have more if we didn't have full-time jobs we have frank on today is it do we officially dub him mr amelia it doesn't have the same ring as mr liz i think frank makes sense if you were to see my face mr amelia is very like wordy it has a lot of syllables yeah my name already has too many syllables so i think mr two mr liz and then frank is just one mr frank mr frank i like that mr liz mr frank i'll take it i kind of love it well anyway we have him here thank you so much for coming cutie thanks for having me i've never had anyone that i'm dating on the podcast it's like a radio show we we have

been with you through it all we yeah y'all really have podcast our friendship now we have my my boyfriend here that's the first time i've said that b word she said the b word it's the first time i've said it publicly damn it feels like i'm like like the prize-winning livestock at the county fair and i'm being like paraded around all the schools now this is my like world tour is like the best cow you really are the best cow i'll take it i'll take it sweet how does it feel how are you feeling pretty good yeah this is great we're drinking uh cosmopolitans yeah uh Mr. Frank showed up with all the goodies in tow. He played bartender.

He made us some Cosmopolitans. They're very tight. They're very tart. And tight. And tight. They're so fucking tight. He also brought lemon marionberry muffins, which is great because I have not eaten today. We're in Seattle, baby.

I ate a little bit. People know that we're in Seattle, right? Yeah. Okay. I don't want to dox anybody. They know we're in Seattle. I mean, the amount of things Amelia posts online makes me nervous that someone's going to show up at her door. And they might.

That's not good. No, it's not. That's why she has a ring camera. Yeah. And an attack cat. Yeah, no, that cat's vicious. She's very aggressive. She is.

Don't fuck with her. So you're feeling good? Are you ready for some questions from the audience? I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Oh, Liz is going to go first. I was told about this. I'm just going to ask some questions that I think will help introduce everything and I think get Mr. Frank's opinions and insights. So the questions I'm going to start with is we've heard Amelia's side of how you guys met.

but i think it would be fun to do a retelling of things because we haven't heard things from your side and how you were feeling and what your thoughts were yeah so interesting it's a fun story we've we've both like said it in turns to people that we care about in public but um i was i have two friends that live here who started a double dating hinge profile which is objectively like very funny um and they were having a great time with it and they matched with Amelia and like I want to say like January or February and they were planning on going on a double date with her and I was the guy that they would tap in for like a a triple so did they tap you in more than once I they tapped me in once for a triple and then I was like if any of you ever need to like take a

night off like let me know stop me in it was one of those things and um you're like a freelance date they're pimping me out you know i'm a part of their stable i'm like i'm the first relief pitcher in uh in the bullpen which is kind of a funny word for that um and uh so we were doing this in like february or i went on this triple date with them in february and then we stopped and then life for me just got very hectic um because i was finishing up school and then one sunday i'm walking my dog and i get a text from these two guys saying hey we um have a double late planned this week but but one of the guys is in a relationship do you want to sub in and initially i was like no because i was so tired i'm like i can't do this during the week i just

don't have the capacity and i'm like i'll just text them when i get back home and then i get home and i get a a text message in a group chat which ended up being from amelia's phone number saying you need to send us a picture of you right now and i guess i said i guess i'm a part of this now and um no exactly what i said was the picture that you send us of your mustache will determine our future and here we are who would have thought she said that is a boyfriend mustache i would like to ride that mustache and she does and i do as we've heard as we've heard it's in the pub it's in the ether now it's been in the ether yeah so we have our first date on thursday and i was like okay i guess i'm a part of this now and um they'd only sent me like one or two pictures of her hinge

profile and they're like oh she has a podcast i'm like cool i'll see her on thursday and thursday comes and it was just i like that that's like a warning yeah she has a podcast i mean that's fun to me people talking you know i love to talk i have the sound of my own voice i've been told so i've been told i have a face for podcasting no i mean he is on this podcast so yeah that's technically wrong I'll take it but um yeah so that day specifically I was like it was one of those days where I was up from 5 a.m until the date and like had no time to sit down and I was like in four different places the entire day by the time the date came I was completely spent I made dinner I literally had to like sit in a room full of incense to get the smell of grilled chicken

out of my hair because I'm like I don't want these girls to like smell grilled chicken on me because the hair holds the smell you know when you got curls like this then we went to a bar in seattle and um i was running on empty and i walk in and the moment i saw amelia and her friend i don't i don't even know if you heard me or saw me but i was like what the fuck like under my breath because amelia's very like distractingly beautiful like very distractingly hot and like very apparently on that date too like even like where you were sitting with the light it was very like movie ish like movie-esque and um i was like fuck i picked a bad day to be completely spent especially like given what's in front of us i mean they didn't really give you a choice i had no say in

any of this but i'm very glad it happened to me i i've been saying it since then that i feel like i won a contest so that was our that was our first date we ended up just me and my friend amelia and her friend sitting in a bar talk hi kitty talking for hours and then um this is the funny thing that happens after a blind double date for the first date is who's gonna hang out with who next and i very quickly was like i'm hanging out with her dibs yeah i was like oh you know like i just feel like we're both kind of like outgoing gemini's yeah yeah sure yeah gemini's and they are my friend who was with me who was like pretty reserved i was like oh like come on like you don't want to do that like me and her we're both very outgoing we're very loud people jamelia's not loud

no i mean i was i also very clearly overwhelmed the other guy on the date because he was like much more quiet and i was like really pulling out the theater kid on that date and we were we were running that table it was mostly you and i talking we and then i would take breaks because i thought i was dying because i was so exhausted and i was so like overwhelmed by like you know it was yeah everything and you were very hot and i was like what what am i supposed to like i'm like literally like i fell backwards into the situation and i'm like gonna fuck it up is what i thought but apparently i did i did okay yeah um and then we were i mean obviously yeah it weren't listen knock on this tweed chair and then uh i started well we were driving home and we were still like

discussing like how we're gonna do it meanwhile i'm like i'm gonna hit this girl up on my own like yeah sure like we'll figure out the next steps i'm like i'm gonna message her on my own and then amelia actually texted me and she's like i hope i followed the right person on instagram and i was like i looked at my friend i'm like i'm doing it like i'm sorry like your plans are to hell with them and then um wait what were the was the other guy gonna ask out amelia well we what he what he and his friend used to do is they would send a survey in the group chat at the end of the day being like here are the options and i was like fuck your options like i'm like i'm like i'm like this is i'm doing this and um on our date like the uh bartender was

talking about how like they put bad yelp reviews on shirts and we were just like bantering about that like over text and then i asked emilia on a second date by making like a really like shitty word art like custom t-shirt asking her on a second date and you know i love that the rest is history i remember when amelia told me that i was like this guy is showing you he's paying attention yeah and he cares i was i was team mr frank from day one she was i've said it before and i will continue saying it until the day i die uh-huh she has she was she's not been like that with anyone that i've dated i mean everyone that's listening knows that yeah i'm i'm i'm kind of like a a cat when it comes to people amelia's dating like i'll be excited

obviously but they're just it's like they start in jail and they need to prove their way out yeah that's how i treat amelia's dating life what do they call the like the the money they give you in jail to buy like commissary well commissary they got to build their commissary exactly i knew that like way too quickly i i would not have remembered that word i watch a lot of prison shows so you listen to the podcast yes yes what what were you thinking when you were hearing amelia talk about y'all's dates oh that's a good question so because she was like oh it's not gonna be a thing oh yeah so that was after and then it became beeping which is funny right because i never took any offense to it and like i think it's mainly because did you take it as a

challenge no oh well like like my like reasoning behind it was like i heard the i heard the podcast that she talked about like i don't think we're compatible after our second date when she already agreed to go on the third date with me and i'm like well that's too fucking bad bad timing yeah we went out the next day after i said that i was like i don't know we'll see i'm going out with him tomorrow it was real good it was a really good date i didn't want to leave which has always been my litmus test for good dates when i don't want to leave them because i want to leave every single fucking date i've ever been on i'm like checking my watch like when is that is a good litmus test we just drank tea in some like weird like little tea shop under like an apartment

building because i was like we were gonna get martinis and i was once again just like very toast and i'm like what if we just got tea instead and she was game for it it's a great time yeah special day i mean there's some quirks to that date but i don't know our podcast necessary third date y'all are vibing well the third date there was a week and a half between it where like you know that that no man's land between the second and third day you know a lot of things could have happened and i think uh amelia we were gonna hang out on the weekend but amelia sent me the funniest text i've out one of the most ridiculous texts i've ever gotten about like why she couldn't like hang out it wasn't even an excuse but it was because like i never have like seen that i've

never like taken that like that from her and i'm just sitting there like like you know like fizzling like what did what did you say back i said that's quite the text bubble i'm not gonna lie and they said she's two martinis deep i think she was with you no i was with oh yeah we were out with sarah that night oh yeah okay yeah we were at that was when you took photos of me and sarah at the booth at king's good photos oh yeah and i sent him one of those photos one of those i'm like this has to mean something i she'll tell i can't send me a photo i can't read a signal until like someone is like on top of it's just a bad i guess character flaw in me but like until someone is literally straddling me i'm like i don't know if they're really into me but that that was

probably like sucking your dick you're like i don't know man i think you like are you sure about that you don't have to when did you start to get a bad because i remember i received a text from Amelia after one of y'all's dates and she was like Liz I think I really like him and I was like yeah which date was this I don't even know so so I started to like really feel it I started to get a little scared about it when you kissed me on the third date which was the limerick date the limerick date if you've heard on a past episode this is when he wrote the limerick about kissing me when I was in the bathroom and that's a real sliding doors moment for us yeah that things could have gone to many different if i had had i not written that limerick it would have been you know

who knows where we would have gone who knows it had to happen that way i don't know if i would have hung out with you again if you didn't kiss me after that date and i wouldn't have blamed you i was gonna kiss you but i was like i didn't want to like walk you your car and be like what if we kissed and then you know we were like making out in a bar for quite some time oh yeah in the bar you're making out in the bar oh in the bar yeah that's so fun yeah i haven't done shit like that in so long i hadn't either i'm like when was the last time i made out at a bar i don't even think i've done that with mr liz you made out with a cop at your birthday party stop i'm trying to erase that for a moment i don't think i knew he was a cop when we made out you didn't stop

i can't say i was ever turned on to him i was just drunk on my birthday and i was like you're in a costume come here that's exactly how it happened i turned around and she was just making out with someone yeah where did this guy come from my line is uh do want to make out that was that was that was my line that's literally that's literally frank's line that was that was for a while except with amelia i wrote a five liner for her it worked yeah it's the worst they can say no that's true we'll just fuck right off you never have to see him after that uh in college it was different because you'd see him yeah you do have to pretend it never happened i mean i've never i've never received a no

to be honest i think we're operating in like different planes to be fair that's i think it's also because um how often does a woman go up to someone and say like you want to make out yeah it's like a novelty yeah that's true it's like a neapolitan ice cream sandwich yeah who says no to that i'm a neapolitan i say no to neapolitan ice you get the fuck out yeah we don't get a little bit of everything get a little bit of everything but you can't get all three at once which is you could do a little scoopy yeah but i mean like that's not as fun you know with the little spoons you have yeah i have tiny spoons in my drawer just tiny spoons in her drawer i love it um i have tiny forks in my drawer we could have a tiny little place

like a little tea party you should find tiny knives i want a tea party real bad back to our lore to answer this question i love the i love the lore when i liz is big into lore especially when it comes to romance i'm all in i love it no i love love we have good lore i've told amelia like it's really great that like as people i think we're both i mean we are both great people who have like doing our best to like keep getting better for the other person for ourselves and like that's really like i guess what it takes or like a really important part of like the relation even though like we're very early on like we can both tell that we care and there's all these really important things that have to be there if anyone's wondering if you couldn't tell um mr

frank is in therapy oh i mean he's a therapist shout out tiffany might be listening yeah who knows listens to the pod or has listened to the pod in the past i did i didn't name you that but but i did yeah but um i'm a big t-bone fan so there's all these like things that i guess have to be right and then there's like the important things which i feel like we've completely like covered yeah and then after that is like the funny like auxiliary stuff and the lore is such a fun part of that absolutely like the lore is on point yeah it's good it all aligned like so perfectly it really did a lot had to happen i won't feel like i want to contest i keep saying it happen i feel like i want to contest stop i didn't think that anyone could ever like

make me feel like how you make me feel like i just feel very sorry we're just gonna fuck you're being earnest and i was like i made it on the pod right now no i'm not ready for that um no but like it's i really didn't think that i would feel like respected like you make me feel respected and also like like i would feel like i would love you like i you know what i mean like it would be like the same kind of back and like it would be a give and take kind of relationship equally totally you know what i mean i mean you deserve better a better response than totally but like yeah no i mean that's on never settling yeah amen and i didn't so let that be a fucking lesson but to answer your original question when i knew was date number three when you kissed me i was

like that shit had my vagina jumping i was like this sex is gonna be good date threes when they get you they really is that what happened with mr list um yeah date three when he left i started crying because i was like no i like him a lot i don't want to yeah it's like a really uncomfortable I just want to be a hoe with no feelings. That's what I set out here to do, and he interrupted my plans. I couldn't help it. Yeah, well, you can't help it. You never can.

You can't help it. Yeah, by the end of month one, we were, like, dating officially. Liz went to Portland on, what, was it your second date? That was our third date, actually. Went to Portland for their third date. Was it? Yeah. How?

Oh, so he was already in Portland. well he was in like he was at mount hood he lived there no he was skiing okay he was there for like the week and then i think he was like doing a photo shoot thing for his job and then um we were texting and then he said something like yeah if you want to come down to portland and i was like if you're not fucking around i straight up will buy a train ticket because that'd be fun i don't know i'm like yeah why not i was like i'll get a train ticket this is gonna get murdered was my first thought i was like our first date was also i could have gotten murdered um here we are i just met him brought him back to my house we took shrooms so and he stayed the night on date

one who said love is dead not i i just yeah we needed we had a weird not like weird in a bad way it's just like kind of like a wild start because i was just trying to have a good time but yeah we went to portland i like he was like okay if you come down here then like i'll get an airbnb so he paid for my ticket to portland and then um we stayed at an airbnb with a hot tub and then we drove back up to seattle glad you included the hot tub detail it's an important detail it is important it is and we skinny dipped in the hot tub oh even more important than once once thought That was the first time I saw him like, um, like kind of drunk and silly and he became significantly less intimidating to me.

But yeah, after, after date number three, date number three, date number four was really when it locked. And that was, I'm sure when I texted you being like, Oh, cause that was when you cooked for me. Oh, sparks were flying date number four, which I found out. Oh, it was, it was after date number four. You're like, I think I really like him. Yeah.

That was the full gamut. He usually, I learned what date did you bang? I learned recently for. Okay. And you know what? That's a great segue. Hey, I banged on date number one. No, no.

You want to silence your phone? Your phone is so fucking noisy all the time. I can't hear it. This is my, but it's just a thing. It's always going off when we're having sex. Yeah. I'm usually like, will you fucking silence that? What if I win a trip?

That's what he always says. It's my friends calling me idiots. What if I win a sweepstakes? This is true. You sign up for all of those things. They're like, you didn't win, but do you want a timeshare? i feel like you're trying to deflect away from what i was about to say no idea what you're talking about so i recently found out that his move has been in the past to have a girl over

and cook for her because it was a surefire way to fuck it's not so much that i would cook for her it was a specific dish panela vodka and it wasn't intentional but my good friend who picked up on my patterns realized she love her to death my friend she um called me out on it once she's like oh She asked me, like, oh, like, a date long ago. She's like, what'd you make her? And I'm like, penne alla vodka. And she's like, oh, I know what you're up to. It needs a new name now.

What was that? It needs a new name. It's penis alla vodka. Well, I waited until date 10 to make Amelia penne alla vodka. Well after our first, you know, bung. Yeah, it was special. So you made me something else. I made her a dish from my homeland, which is, which,

when i told my friend that i made her a dish from my motherland she was like oh shit you really like this girl like you're not just like you know she's not just getting the penis out of vodka no certainly not um eventually eventually i mean that same day but but that wasn't my intention because after our third date i was like after our first date i was like okay after our second date i was like they can't see my face but i was like okay after our third date when we were kissing at the bar i was like something's happening and then that i'm like i need to like make a big splash on the fourth date and you did we did oh we did yeah you brought my dog a toy oh my gosh i brought his dog a toy and she destroyed it in the first like 30 seconds as like yeah a sign of

to threaten you that's my girl it's like this is my yeah that's my poly i could say her name on here yeah um you're gonna dox the doxin doxer please she's terrible did you see what i did there cutie dox the doxin thank you sorry i just wanted like a little bit of appreciation so i have a final question and this is a question for both of you oh oh shit because i feel like no one has ever been able to i don't want to say catch amelia but like yeah no one's been able to bag amelia so what did you do you do you in your opinion oh yeah and then we'll ask amelia the same question like how how does one go about bagging amelia i want to be very intentional with this answer okay i think i haven't had a girlfriend in long time longer than amelia has gone without a

boyfriend right yeah yeah yeah 2015 2016 long time and somewhere down that path i was like if i ever do this i need to be super like intentional every step of the way did you not date anybody through the trump administration specifically it was a hard time i mean no one would blame you weird time it was couldn't get hard during the trump administration well i mean he's super hot but like stop he's kidding everyone he's a sexy guy he's a sexy fat old man have you seen the fucking ass on that car yeah he does have a dump truck i say this shit to my mom as a joke and she freaks out and i'm like it's i'm just gonna he has a wagon that's objective i just want to give him a little kiss but um back to what i was saying so i was very

like i need to be super if i want something that works something that's like real i need to be very like intentional throughout the like beginning part of it and I found myself with a lot of girls who I didn't feel the same way I feel about Amelia not being very intentional because I was just trying to like take it somewhere steer it somewhere so with Amelia I was very much I don't think I did anything specific I just was giving her like I was giving her like the real thing which sounds kind of cheesy but I don't know what else you can do you know I wasn't like showing up to her house with a boom box and roses I was just very much like if I thought of her I'd tell her but I wasn't using that as a way to just talk to her which I've done in the past which a lot of

guys and a lot of girls have done in the past where it's like you're trying to manufacture conversation or contact what I've observed just as a third party is that um you've been very like honest about how you feel about Amelia but not in a way that feels overwhelming or overbearing because I'm not to speak for you but like I think both of us have experienced where we have gone on dates or like dated a man who is anxiously attached and like their insecurity feels clingy and that is not the impression that you were giving it it wasn't you were very like self-assured yeah and we were talking about this yesterday just like specifically because i was i started reading the book attached because my friend told me to read it and i what i've deduced

so far is she said i'm very secure attached and i think that i like i think it's all on a spectrum yeah honestly and i think there have been moments in my life where i've veered all the way anxious and this is one where it's feared all the way the other way completely i mean it's feared all the way secure yeah i'm not avoiding at all and that's interesting because i've never felt this way about anybody and i thought oh when i'm like in love with someone i'm gonna become a lunatic is what i thought i mean i just won't be able to handle myself because like it's it's been that way where i wasn't in love with someone and the feelings were much less strong and i felt myself getting really anxiously attached and i'm like who knows maybe it's just like you know the work that's been

done over the years but like who knows who really does know what it is it could be just the right person at the right time it could be who i am now yeah it's a combination so yeah you're gonna meet the right person when you've done the work yeah which is i mean this is a testament to that work too so yeah it feels like feels like i won a contest i think the the secure attachment to Amelia has been very much so a part of that which is cool to experience as the person going through it well because weren't you like anxiously attached I was very like I was secure attached and then my relationship put me into anxious and then it put me into avoidant and then it put me way into anxious and then I like snapped out of just having like no attachment to anything

anywhere and like now I feel like I've swung into secure like I've never felt this safe in a relationship I mean you're when you're dating someone who is secure well because I was thinking like when you are reading like the book attached it says like anxious and anxious people can work together um so if you both are like formerly anxious and now secure it would make sense because like if one of you is triggered and kind of swings back into those anxious attachment habits the other one of you is going to understand and know how to like comfort that person so that's kind of been a theme and so far in our relationship too is like like amelia went to hawaii for like a week and we were both like worried before yeah and then we both like calmed each other down before

and we did all these things that while she was gone like beforehand we're like oh we're gonna to do this like early very this is before we were even like officially a couple and like we really liked each other and we're like we want this to like not fizzle out while we're both anxious about it in the same way we did these things to reassure ourselves both of you you liked each other so much at that point and you both were like i hope this doesn't fizzle out like of course it won't yeah i think that's also when i knew i'm like oh this is gonna work with her because we're both trying to like make this work she's gone i mean like you look back on it she went to hawaii for a week it's not a crazy amount of time but we both also didn't make each other feel like

lunatics for being worried about it and I was like oh this is different I think the good part is like you both were very honest about having those feelings in the first day I was having a hard time and I was like and I was I felt great about it in the first day I was like I think it was a Saturday I was just like very anxious and then the next day I talked to her about it and And I was scared to talk to her about it, not because it's her, because Amelia is very empathetic and very open and will not make you feel like a crazy person. But I've been accustomed to being made feel like a crazy person for expressing even a little bit of anxiety.

Yeah, because you probably were dating avoidant people. Yeah. I mean... The anxious avoidant chasing cycle. Yeah. And then Amelia, she completely just heard me out and... helped i mean i don't even know how to like really get into it but it was such a monumental moment personally where i was like oh shit this is gonna work that's when i was like this is actually gonna

work like it's gonna happen and then i don't know i'm not answering the question about how i bagged amelia i don't know how you think this i think your answer makes perfect sense yeah so amelia bagged me how how do you feel like uh mr frank mr frank tickled your heartstrings yeah I mean like how you hold space for me like in like every sense really was like brand new for me like in romantic relationships like everything that I bring to you even before we were like pretty serious like when we were just like dating everything that I would bring to him would just be like I feel like I'm feeling this way about this thing and he would just like stop everything he was doing and be like oh my like do you like do you want to talk about it I'm like yeah I knew

I actually do want to talk about it and then I would and it was like the first time that I had felt like really respected and heard in a relationship like ever that's beautiful so that was like the first thing that was really like that worked this is different but also on our on our second date when we got tea I asked him what his favorite thing about himself was and he said how much he cares without even thinking you were just like oh how much I care yeah he is very caring yeah just based on everything you've done just showing up caring is cool caring is fucking super cool and that might be the title of this episode caring is caring is cool is fucking cool caring is cool with frank um should we go to audience questions that was very sweet

i'm getting misty they seem oh yeah he's a crier too i'm a crier another thing that i love about i'd be crying i'm my mother's son okay i'm gonna rapid fire some questions rapid fire me babe okay babe are you ready babe hit it okay all right the podcast is over all right has amelia ever done anything that's given you the ick uh formally no like there's no real there's there's no real ick that amelia has given me but amelia did something that was kind of questionable to me and it was we'll call it a quirk and uh i you know one of those things where i smiled and gave her a kiss after but i was like i don't know what the fuck we're doing here but um amelia the other day we were about what were we gonna do we're gonna go somewhere we're gonna go out yeah

and we're both tired so i got her a like coffee in a can and you know she put it in this mug i have and put some ice in it and like took a few sips and then put it in the fridge for later and i'm like oh maybe she'll have it like in an hour or so and then like the next day came over and i was like i'm gonna toss this she's like why i'm like the coffee has all my fridge air in it but you covered it so it wouldn't get fridge air in it we haven't had a discussion it's in the process it's in the it's in the proximity of like raw chicken my zucchinis who knows what's up with my zucchinis at this time of the week so that didn't give me the ick but that's the that was just a bit of a quirk i have a scarcity complex that's fair i get it thank you we're all hunters

and gatherers you also got it for me so i didn't want to waste it you know what i mean uh-huh the intentions were great it was it was it was a cute quirk but i mean okay well that's good yeah not an ick like a oh yeah yeah an awe an awe um what was the most surprising thing you discovered when spending time with me so amelia has a very like large social media presence where she puts her humor on display and she's a lot like that in real life she's the funniest person i know but i guess watching amelia be hilarious by like just existing like just watching amelia like do dishes and like being like how the fuck is this so funny just like like like she'll just start singing like she'll be like making up like lyrics to like normal songs and then putting them on

like an eastern european accent i guess that's the most surprising thing was like i realized very quickly into meeting you that you're very funny and like who you present yourself as is who you like it's it's very it's very similar um but then just how like funny you are and existing i was like this is fucking crazy like the other day i like came out of the bathroom and amelia's in my water everywhere what when amelia washes her hands it's like she's taking a bath in the sink i'm finding water in my hair brushes water all over the bath that that's you my parents call me shamu i don't know how she does it i don't either i'm pretty wondering i'm mindful about it too but i

always find a way it's like she just scoops up the water and just sprinkles it i like to leave my mark i mean i know it's clean so i'm like whatever it's just water it's true yeah if it was someone who was annoying i'd be annoyed but totally i love you so i think it's endearing amelia is a very lovable person so like these like very like little quirks are like it it kind of adds to like like the what I've told you like the Amelia portrait what were you about to say when you came out of the bathroom I came out of the bathroom after like spending you know a decent amount of time in there you don't need to leave that in and uh she will and uh and uh Amelia is like with my dog who she calls worm because my dog is very wormy singing the lyrics to YMCA

but w-o-r-m in like in like a like a like an eastern european old lady accent with like can you do that for us now with my like disco grandma goggles on and i'm just like looking i'm like what the fuck is going on here that's literally what he said when he got in the bathroom he's like what the fuck is going on here it's those things that like i guess it is a surprise but it's it's not it's not like it's not like a shock but i'm just like learning that someone is this funny like just in the way they exist is was has been a very welcome beautiful thing that's a good answer cutie thank you somebody asked if i was as one of the questions on here is is she as animated as she seems online yes yeah if if yes it's not even i mean

our first date the one thing i noticed was that amelia talks with her eyes more than and and amelia amelia talks yeah like she's doing it right now she amelia talks with her eyes frequently and her hands are always doing something when she's talking so she's very animated yeah very ridiculously funny thanks this is this is fun for me this is just i'm trying to tell me more about me yeah i would be lapping it up this episode is just me sucking my own dick suck it from the back no both of you are sucking your dick yeah oh we're co-sucking who said romance is dead not me um okay let me find some like you related questions because everyone here knows that you are um you know your way around a female body no uh and some people had some questions about that oh

buddy when did you find out about the clit slash how did you find out about it they're asking for a friend yeah when did i find out i mean i feel like everyone knows what a clit is no like well it's just like pop culture like you hear about clits right yeah but nobody really knows what it it must have been sometime in high school when did you learn it was a magic button in high school i feel weird being like in high school but in high school i learned and then i spent a good amount of college not thinking about it and then at some point i was started thinking about it again of course of course a dude in college was like i forgot about that yeah i haven't heard that name in years yeah clitoris and then uh yeah somewhere somewhere in

the back end of college and then after college i was like this is important yeah sex is fun when they're also having fun yeah yeah totally that was most would argue it's even more fun revelation my human sexuality professor who really set the men straight in our class men straight a she was uh this like sassy like older like kubana lady and i don't want to say her name but she'd be like um you know men these women aren't satisfied anymore like you need to be doing better like like there's like there's a real gap between satisfaction between men and women and i don't like it good and i was just eating it up i love that maybe that should be my future job yeah actually be very i've thought about that you would be a good teacher you'd be great thank you

i don't even know you that well but you can tell he knows you just about as well as one would know a professor that's true so i mean i do i do essentially have a one-sided conversation with you every friday and thursday because he's on the patreon now oh yeah it's true thursday if i'm able to get it done soon enough i love getting the the little notification six dollars well spent you heard it here first folks for just the price of a cup of coffee a month another sex question do you feel comfy answering it let's hear it i'd ask him how he learned how to give great head just practice videos reading i want to level up uh i think it's just some trial and error i think i really like it it's just fun yeah it's fun with you especially fuck yeah it's

very fun with you um so i one i enjoy it i'm not just there like i think like if you like go there and try and if you go there and do it just being like i just like how do i explain this i feel like some guys just go there and they're like this is my one ticket to getting this person off and like i'm just gonna do whatever i can to do that i'm like you're just like it's it'll come off that way to the person like receiving it right so i don't know like don't be an accountant if you don't love accounting that's a stupid quote paying attention you gotta be very present and there what they're doing how they're reacting the body movements yeah um the bucking uh you know it's a very it's a dance right that's what we call it at least the whole act is a dance right

especially that yeah that answers your question no i think it does you're just like paying attention to how the person's reacting and enjoying it if you don't if you don't enjoy do i mean it's i think i'm not a girl so i've never had my pussy eaten but um but i would imagine you can tell if a dude is not having fun down there but you can correct me why would they not have fun is oh yeah like is that like a rhetorical question well i've gotten really bad head have you of course yeah that's like well because it's like do you not want to be down there because you're not a team player yes oh yeah yeah that's 100 what it is it's it's it's just like you only care about what you're getting out of this

yeah i think that's what's happening this is a team effort okay and if you don't see it as a team effort then you don't deserve to have sex i totally agree we go before and after it's true sorry i'm so sorry i made eye contact with you when i said that liz i got about 10 questions about what your hinge profile looked like i mean i could pull it up please do what it used to be um i never saw it because he was out of my age range yeah i'm 46 no he's younger than me i'm a cougar so as seen on my mom's fridge was the first picture and it's me in a bathroom making a very funny smile in my you know it's this picture i think it's funny um i'm looking for someone i can practice knitting handmade sweaters for as a tender act of love true i just got a

crochet kit i'm about to make amelia a sweater um a picture of my dog looking at me in a funny way my last journal entry was about how emotional and happy i get when i see old people on walks with their dogs this was true at a point in time my simple pleasures singing poorly to my wiener dog sloppy steaks at truffani's handwriting letters for loved ones and fully committing to the bit i would say that's all it's all true and then uh some just dumb pictures of me and my friends i love it yeah he sent me his profile after our second date yeah it was after our second date yeah because i was like let me see that thing yeah and he was like oh i just don't you had deleted the app yeah you're like i would have to re-download the app to find it and then

our friend saw him on hinge and was like oh i just saw your boy on hinge and i was like oh good for him yeah because you have to deactivate your account yeah i would just delete it every now i'd go in these phases and then we were on our third date and amelia's like look my friend found you and i was like sweating i'm like i don't know i don't know what's going on man oh no that's not me i'm like i want to go out with you um okay final question this is so much fun oh good how many geese could you realistically fend off before you succumb to exhaustion are we talking like the canadian geese you see at like gasworks park yeah seven seven yeah i could take seven of them oh he's before you're like i'm like this is bullshit you let them take you yeah i want to go i i mean

i don't think i let them take me out of like pride because i viscerally hate them but i think i could take seven because i can kick a lot of i wouldn't like they're cute but they're terrible no they're not cute they're fucking assholes i could ring two of them by the neck and kick off a few but then there's gonna come a point where i'm getting bit and then they're biting my legs and then they can yeah you know put me out seven seven feels fair seven does feel fair i feel like seven is a very honest answer yeah i can honestly take out seven geese okay write that one down and i feel good about that that's a good answer yeah how you like me now dad i have three fuck mary kills for you give it to me i'm gonna start who made these me oh shit i'm going to start with one for um

for you and for blue wire network our sports network that we're on are you ready sure fuck mary kill lebron anthony davis d'angelo russell i'm gonna kill d'angelo russell sorry dilo i wouldn't actually kill you but it was a very poor showing it's not his fault he tried but he just didn't come through i would fuck anthony davis because the potential is insane but there's also the chance that like it's just a complete he'll just gonna lay a nothing burger and i'd marry lebron because lebron has given us 20 years of consistency i feel like you i did not give him these beforehand you did not most i've ever learned about basketball yeah dilo i mean i wouldn't actually kill him i want to like sports fans are nuts dilo you're you're you're getting

benched i'd bench dilo ad's getting fucked lebron i'm marrying lebron 20 years four rings easily most points ever strong sperm got a lot of kids he's a beautiful man okay fuck marry kill missionary doggy style uh-huh legs over the shoulders i'd fuck legs over the shoulders okay oh that's the one i would kill oh interesting i would fuck legs over the shoulders i'd marry missionary okay and i would kill doggie why why would you kill doggie just like process of elimination i can't see your face oh oh i'm being completely honest that's the best part what are your answers um kill legs over the shoulders that's just way too uncomfortable for me yeah i can't do that um

i have a micro penis so it works out for us um doggy style merry missionary nice you you can spice up missionary you absolutely can i think the manner of service i also don't love doggy style the doggy style and legs over the shoulders are like the same to me neck and neck yeah what's your favorite position both um the when you're laying on your stomach and you got a little leg up we've talked about this when you mentioned it i was like i'm gonna try that and then it became my favorite i'm spreading the good word i just told frank about this yesterday i don't receive it enough yeah well despite my protesting well i don't know or campaigning you know it's one of those things that's good for um uh in novelty

you know when you overuse it it kind of loses its zest it's like neapolitan ice cream it all comes back all right one more fuck mary kill me and my road rage me in the morning me saving drinks in your fridge is this on the fly i love it i'm gonna marry you in the morning because it's i love it you in the morning is fun is yeah it's the first time i've ever heard that from anyone my dad used to sing that to me to wake me up and i'd be like get out of my room he's so fucking mad i'm marrying you in the morning because it's sustainable

i'll fuck you putting the drink in the fridge for the sake of killing your road rage that's fair it's so much more peaceful when you don't have road rage i know but you know it it allows you specifically just in general i've experienced it once on the freeway and i was a little scared it was brief too you just wait we're coming home from a concert i think yeah and i was like just let him pass i'm so scared you know what i think is unfair um mr liz gets to have road rage and i'm like yeah get him yeah be mad you should be and then and i'm also mad but when i have road rage he has to be like the fucking devil's advocate of like well you should just expect people to be a bad driver like i'm gonna pull over this car and strangle you you should

record him having road rage and play it back yeah we have a clip roll the clip it was road rages you are not the craziest person you're you're never gonna be the craziest person in the situation i don't do road rage anymore i just like i don't like do something crazy but i will just scream in my car and be like you're a fucking idiot yeah that's kind of where my road rage is i gotta tell you the story about me getting chased for like 200 miles on the five south by a pt cruiser with flames coming on it it's an embarrassing flames were painted on it or coming out of the back it was wood paneled pt cruiser with flames like stickers are painted on it chased me like going like 90 for like 200 miles straight on uh five south somewhere around

what did you do i don't know i think he got angry i cut him off he's driving like a bitch chased me it was put those flames to use guy yeah i'm surprised a pt cruiser can go that fast my mom drove a pt cruiser that is arguably the most embarrassing car i've ever seen yeah it checks out all right well thank you so much for coming cutie thanks for having me do you want to sing our outro oh yeah i i don't think it's becoming of me it's as your guys no you'll have the third harmony no you start it out say we love you how do you do it we love you you can't you can wing it we love you hit the low note

nice i was in the choir in the fourth grade Oh, yeah.