The Hoely Hour - E143 The Hoely Half Hour with Frank

Episode Date: July 7, 2023

With Liz on vacation, Amelia has roped her boyfriend Frank into co-hosting a minisode! We take some ~juicy~ questions from the audience and discuss an AITA about a man that went on a couples retreat without his girlfriend. Will Amelia take this opportunity to corner Frank into telling some secrets? Absolutely. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

What was the compliment you gave me last week? I wrote it down. I don't know. Hold on, I'm reading it. I'm just like talking in a trance when we're hanging out half the time. Okay, this is what you said. If this was old days and I described you in detail to the village people, they would tie me to a post and throw rocks at me because they'd think I went crazy. They'd be like, surely this woman doesn't exist.

We have to kill you before you tell the other village people. Welcome to The Holy Hour, a podcast about sex, relationships, mental health, and everything in between. I'm Amelia Sanson. And I'm Liz Ball. follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com such an interesting way to conversate

with you i know i know yeah this is this is it's gonna take a second for us to get used to this the first time you guys had me as a guest it was you and liz facing me and i was like oh i'm being interviewed at yeah but you and i talk every single day yeah this is just like a different medium of us speaking i know it's interesting yeah i wonder i wonder if we'll be like exactly like ourselves i need some popsicles for that to take place that's true that's true you are usually with popsicle i love me a popsicle man you do shout out johnny pops shout out to johnny pop there's no free ads see i know how to podcast yeah look at you look at you so we have frank here today he's co-hosting with me while liz is on a fun trip with mr liz and his friends um

so thanks for being here cutie thanks for having me i kind of roped him in you were you were enthusiastic about it though yeah i was like do you want to host with me next week i hate hosting alone y'all if you guys have been listening to every episode you know that my solo episodes are like 15 minutes long because i can't exist without liz me and liz are pretty similar you think yeah in what ways i don't know i just wanted to say i was hoping you'd come up with some ways oh i can figure out some um liz i don't know if we're similar at all you love me yeah we both love you in different ways but you both love me different ways totally y'all both like making people laugh yes liz is very funny um we both love the black eyed peas yes we both have an extensive knowledge

of black eyed peas discography damn that was true i was just watching you guys rattle them off like i thought i was a black eyed peas fan back in the day you two put me to shame you're not a bep head the way we are bep head yeah is that what they call their fans no that's what i call in the bep heads fan club that i the president of listen it was the first cd i bought no money was it that it was either that or metamorphosis by hillary duff cute yeah yeah but i didn't really like i only like two songs on metamorphosis liz has a metamorphosis by hillary duff shirt look at that another crossover event if you're listening like let's bust that thing out one of hell yeah you know i hope she hasn't given it away i doubt she has i think she got it from

the metamorphosis tour wow yeah yeah i she was an og my first concert was in 2011 so that's a whole other what was it system of a down that was your first concert yeah my aunt took me my aunt took me and three of my friends three or four of my friends yeah no fucking way what a wild first concert experience so i didn't know what to talk to you about today because i was just like talking to you usually whenever we talk about something we don't have a topic do you mean like you and i in general we're just kind of shooting the shit yeah you and i this is like a relationship born out of shooting the shit very well okay so i didn't i wasn't how do you hold your tea like that that's so chaotic oh my god i thought i'm really good at holding my drinks in strange

positions as to not disrupt the microphones that is so crazy you look so cute holding my merch you look cute doing anything okay so i asked people on instagram what we should talk about because i don't know you know what i mean yeah got some good questions are you ready for them let's hit it all right thanks people of instagram a lot of people asked us how we met but uh we interviewed frank on an episode and we told that story so i'm not gonna bore you with that story again you can just go back and listen to that episode it's a good story good story it's a great story so that's a podcast plug on the podcast we ran into some of the uh conceivers of how we met this weekend we did we did yeah i wanted to kiss the ground that they walk on your feet are going

nuts down there homie are you nervy no i just like to move i'm a fidgeter it's just like my dad you know how they say you're gonna end up with someone that's like your dad or your brother am i like your mom at all not even a little bit really yeah love my mom not even a little bit really yeah not even i see some similarities with us you guys are both like funny and you guys are both like like you guys clown a lot which i love yeah like other than that you don't remind me of my mom even a little bit interesting yeah um oh okay somebody asked what do you actively do to grow in depth and intimacy with each other what do we actively do yeah to like get deeper and more intimate with each other not like sexually but yeah no no of course i i don't know most

recently like the other weekend when you were over and we like talked and we were like oh like we felt it go yeah we felt ourselves level up but i don't know how active we are about it we're just kind of like there's like a there's like an open environment i guess for us to be able to talk about whatever yeah anything yeah things that like you maybe in our past we didn't think we could talk about with someone without feeling like yeah they're gonna think i'm crazy i'm crazy i think we've just like created some kind of environment where like that's not the case yeah and then whenever something were to come up we just kind of go through it yeah right yeah i agree i was gonna say just like a lot of communication we just talk about shit as they come up absolutely

and there's like not much to come up given that it's early but yeah that was a good question though thank you for asking that um okay someone asked what's it like dating an influencer does he have a tendency to get jealous well that's two-parter yeah uh dating an influencer isn't like i amelia doesn't really feel like she falls into that bucket i mean she very clearly like is given like you know what she does and like how much of a part of her life it is but you couldn't tell if you just were to hang out with amelia one-on-one you you legitimately could not tell at all like i think on our second date she said oh all my friends say they have no idea like it feels like there's no difference and i was like okay sure i don't know you yeah i would say the

same thing to someone on a date yeah but then now that i know amelia it's it's truly it's it's can't i mean it other than like noticing someone who's like constantly working really hard at like a bunch of different things at once the influencer part of it is like one extra thing in that bucket because you also have a like a full-time day job so at this point it's like it's like it's like it's like dating someone that has a hobby they're really i'm not like likening this to a hobby yeah yeah no i know what you mean but it's like dating someone that is like really really good at something and gets monetized for it aside from like all the other stuff they do and do i get jealous no nice you can answer that i mean you know better than anyone no not at all you're like

the most supportive person yeah it's i could have i could have ever have asked for truly like i never i was always concerned with like i mean i'm not i'm not like ariana fucking grande you know what i mean but i was still always concerned that there was going to be like a like a like a power imbalance not a power about do you know what i mean though like uh i don't know like somebody that i was dating was going to feel like intimidated by it in some way i think it's cool because a lot of dudes that i dated in the past were like oh yeah i'm done and then they like didn't like it at the end of the day no i think it's great i mean you there there definitely is the like you you it's interesting because you know that there is like thousands of men after someone

that you're dating and you love but then there's also the like security in the relationship where i'm like just truly not even a little like worried about it good oh my god that's fun yeah it's because i'm obsessed with him please i truly am please i'm gonna wear a skin as a suit oh this is a good question what was his first impression and opinion about you and the podcast yeah the first time i saw amelia i was really stressed out because amelia was like looking very very hot at this bar and i think i talked about it on the one episode i was on that like i was running on pretty much zero percent battery like as a human being like not like not on my phone and um so i saw amelia and i'd been like you know anticipating this date for

the week and i like muttered under my breath like what the fuck because i was so exhausted and amelia was so good looking and smiley and just like a bundle of energy and i'm like i need to match this energy so the first impression was very like oh wow you know yeah yeah stressed out in like a in a very good way of like oh you know this this doesn't happen often you get you fall backwards into a blind date with someone so you know beautiful and funny and then of the podcast i thought it was hilarious it was really i mean so like it was brought up to me before like just they're like oh by the way this this she hosts a podcast and they sent me a clip from your hinge profile and i'm like this is like hilarious um and i think also like it was it was funny

before we were like you know like dating dating it was funny like during the dating period and it was fun it's funny now that we're in a relationship probably because things moved rather fast and there was no like other people involved so there was no one to get stressed out about yeah yeah yeah which i could totally see that being like a problem or not a problem but like a thing that someone gets stressed out about yeah and it just you know you and i just kind of latched on to each other real fast yeah we did so we're also kind of morphing into each other yeah your hair got real curly all of a sudden you got a thick mustache yeah oh you noticed it coming in yeah i love it thanks babe well just another note on that like regarding like the the

sex podcast that my lovely girlfriend hosts even like when you talk about like past endeavors and whatnot like i am like literally walking around the neighborhood listening and like cracking up because it's so funny like it's and it's also the past you know i don't like what like why get why would well i know i people would get stressed out about the past or whatnot but like i think we got something good so yeah you know yeah no that's been the other thing is like talking about past relationships when i'm like dating someone and it being like a at first someone being like oh it's totally fine like i get it and then i actually do talk about past relationships and they're like i'm actually gonna stop listening which is fine and we've said in the

past like we totally respect people that were dating not wanting to listen but i think you and i talk so openly about past shit too all the time absolutely and then also like a side note like i love listening to you and liz just riff you guys are both like you guys bring like very different elements to this really good thing so it's just a fun podcast to listen to as well so a lot of good things a lot of good elements thanks cutie the periodic table of the holy hour wow yeah what's the top element of the holy hour uh purple for the logo nice yeah okay love that there are two questions that are the same question so i'm gonna ask it so it's one question your dating app yeah but they're from two different people but they ask them at the same time which is interesting

your dating app experiences i hate it um i don't know that's not a good answer so my dating app experiences i don't know just kind of this like didn't really work out ever you know i started using like apps when i moved to seattle and yeah nothing serious came of it nothing even really closely serious um i'm not a big fan but it's also like a really necessary way to like try and meet people it's like impossible without it's absolutely impossible you know so like the fantasy of like you know reaching for the same apple at the produce section of the grocery store you know that died a long time ago for me but you know amelia and i we were like dating app meeting adjacent yeah we didn't meet particularly on the apps but the apps are the reasons that reason that

we're together so yeah hinge if you want to throw a sponsorship this way see hinge works with every single dating app creator on tiktok except for me like they don't want to work with me i get i get it but like yeah absolutely and then maybe hinge can also like you know like like like have a better policy on all the incels they let on their app as well what the fuck for real yeah maybe have a filter yeah this is a person this is like your personal opinion on this but i think it would be interesting to talk about so like there are small gestures that men like you know stereotypically do for women like buy them flowers uh-huh what small gestures do men like like that you know i can't like show up with a bouquet of flowers i mean i can but that's

not like something that women do for men yeah absolutely um i cannot speak for all men because i we never i've never spoken about this to any of my guy friends i could speak what what i like like like a little note oh makes me really like you know misty in the eyes yeah yeah yeah you know like like very for me it's like any like small thoughtful thing you know anything and i think you know that about me too like any grand like i'm not much of a grand gesture yeah person except for the mariachi band you promised you'd get for my birthday next year i didn't do that yes you did i know yes you did i have it on paper i mean i think you all right you know it's something you experienced i'm going to support you in that experience thank

you okay that's a good answer little thoughtful things for me that's about it okay things y'all have learned about each other that was genuinely surprising uh i have one for you i have one for you oh yeah uh what surprised me about Amelia and I've like come to learn this like recently is scared Amelia knows the lyrics to every single song I'm not even joking like I was it yesterday that I was like singing like a melody to a song and you're like no it's not even what happened a song came on in our like Spotify blend and you're like is this one of yours because you were making it seem like you hadn't heard it before and then you sang the entire song like by heart father john misty's yeah yeah and amelia does that for literally any song like she just

she just knows all the songs specifically any big sean song which is a whole different i fucking love big sean i'd say that's the big that's been the biggest surprise that's a good answer yeah because you're very like i get you you kind of you kind of get what you see with you but you become you being a human jukebox it's been a really fun surprise mine is more of like an overarching thing it's not even like a specific thing that i've noticed oh no this is gonna be some like really sweet thing you say damn something that i was genuinely surprised about early on in our relationship was how good of a listener you are because when i first met you you were so tired and i could and i could tell then that like you cared about the conversation

but it was also like a double date situation but like right like on our second date we just got tea and like your eye contact and like genuine responses to things that i was saying like that was the first thing that really shocked me about you i was like oh shit like this guy like listens when i talk not to take away from how sweet of a like you know thing to notice that is but like you you know like you should have seen yourself i'm not gonna fuck this up i was hanging on every single word you're so cute i remembered like everything that you had told me from the first date and you're like crazy i don't know even know how because like i was like i don't really remember

a lot of that date like no it's it's it's it's yeah it's a blur pieces yeah but i remembered a lot of shit that you told me um yeah there's just like random shit and you were like what the fuck it was beautiful and so maybe that also surprised me about myself in terms of you was like how much i cared to listen to you that's that's incredibly sweet i just called you a human jukebox and you're talking about like listening and that's very sweet of you yours is a better answer though because it's more of like a recent thing but i don't know i think i think just like things surprise me about you all the time but it's very like tiny tiny things so it's hard to think of some off the top of the dome we should date you think yeah okay that was the end of

the questions from instagram but i have three questions i want to ask you that i think would be interesting conversation starters are you ready yeah as ready as i'll ever be are you are you scared yes i'm all i'm always operating out of a place of fear but like there's a baseline right would you rather have a clone of yourself or a clone of me so let's a clone of myself why because you're a one of one cute you are and and one of you is is a perfect amount he's saying it's too much i'm not saying it's too much i'm saying if there was another one there might be like issues there right where it's like which which one of me do you love the most damn oh fuck and like the you yourself like i don't even like like you are

like the only of you that could ever exist a clone of me would be so funny for me like seeing someone that looks like me would be so funny i'd be like yo yeah yeah yeah you want to hang out i wonder if you would i always wonder if i met myself how i would feel if i would like myself i think i would yeah you're yes you're very likable so are you i think you would be friends with your clone yeah potentially we'll see we'll figure out the technology at one of the mayhaps next question if you were a woman for a day what would you do for a day for a day for a day i'd give birth yeah i'd need to because then i could be like it sounds kind of fucked up but you know i just be like i have this thing under my belt you know i know what it's like to give birth

yeah i did it that one time even though i'm a man again no one can tell me that i don't know what the miracle of giving birth is like yeah that'd probably take a day right give or take yeah i mean if you if you came into a body that was already pregnant yeah well let's suppose i didn't yeah what i do i don't know see i've asked guys this in the past and their answer has been like oh i would like see what sex feels like and those guys some of them are dudes that i slept with and they'd be like because it seems like it's like a lot of fun for you i'm like oh honey i'm just a really good actor she has an imdb that so there's that and then there's um i would play with my boobs that's that's their answer for if they were a woman for a day i mean

yeah i guess i don't know that's like they're like not that they're not fun like that's like yeah okay they're fine what boobs yeah boobs are more fun to like play with like someone like like someone else yours yeah like as as not you yeah right that's fun for me yeah totally but like i don't know if i was a woman i don't know like yeah like i'm i'm sure people would say oh it's not fun to give birth but i don't know i just wanted to like know yeah it's interesting i've talked to like a lot of my guy friends have said like the thing that they are jealous of women for is like that they get to experience that i'm not jealous even a little bit that's it seems so stressful it's so hard but then also i could finally settle the debate that getting hit in the nuts does hurt

more than giving birth i'm just kidding he's joking oh my god okay this is the last question and you're gonna be oh jesus we don't have a camera rolling that would have been i really wish i got that so people could know what i deal with all the time uh who is your celebrity hall pass what does that mean like if you could fuck if i was like go ahead and fuck any celebrity i won't be mad oh man i gotta think about this can it be one and like first of all what do you mean can it be one answer because this is like a multi-fat first of all i never would and this is not just like a cheat answer like like like a like a win the points i truly never would but for the sake of the question share shut the fuck up dude yes share or emma stone okay yeah

emma stone's a good answer share is you know i'm i'm not gonna question your decisions oh it's beautiful i love share man she's armenian you know they're neighbors with us fuck without giving away too much um i don't know i just this is she's hot she's still hot she is but i just didn't expect you to say that emma stone makes sense i'm stone yeah share yeah that's about it nice good answers babe yeah how about you my celebrity hall passes yeah um kenny beats and lebron james you'd fuck lebron yeah i'd fuck lebron james yeah i mean i've never heard that take before really oh i thought i've said that to you before

no i thought you said he's really funny yeah that's why i like him okay i mean that makes sense with you know given where we're at yeah i don't know what you're doing with a schmuck like mean you are truly the funniest person i know she's just saying that i love you so much i love you too um all right i'm gonna cry don't because i love you so much i love you this is gonna be like a big mush fest we don't have liz here to be like okay that's enough okay stop yeah all right moving on moving on i thought that i would read you two relationship specific am i the assholes and get your take on them i'm 29 female my boyfriend is 30 male i have two kids that are not his biologically and we have been together for four years last week his buddy invited him

and i to go on a four-day couples retreat with him his wife and his other friend and his girlfriend apparently there is couples massages romantic dinners etc we were due to leave today my boyfriend mentioned it to me so i started looking around for babysitters unfortunately i was not able to find a sitter their dad hardly ever takes them and their grandmother is just as much of a deadbeat and only sees the kids to post photos on Facebook and act like grandmother of the year normally when we make plans he will reach out to his mom or sister-in-law because they are the only people in our area he didn't do that so I called them yesterday to see if they could but obviously they couldn't I figured I since I could not go he would not go to the couple's retreat I wake up

this morning at 5 a.m to him packing i asked him what he was doing and he said um packing i need to leave here by 7 a.m to meet up with george so i asked him why he still intended to go to a couple's retreat when his partner couldn't even go and i asked him if he had even wanted me to go since he didn't bother helping me look for a sitter originally anyways and he said if you wanted to go you would have found a babysitter i don't have time for this this really bothered me a great deal he kissed my forehead and left 15 minutes ago i got a text from him which included pictures of his suite that had flower petals champagne even a heart-shaped bed i texted back and said have a good time he took this as an attack and said don't be clipped with me it's

not my fault you didn't find a sitter so i responded with i wasn't being clipped and it would have been nice if you could have helped find a sitter i know they aren't your kids but if you wanted me to go with you you should have put an effort he responded with you're being an asshole right now and quite frankly you're being overdramatic as well am i the asshole for getting upset with the fact that he went without me nah he sucks yeah he's it took me i was like approaching that from the beginning from like a neutral perspective yeah and then as soon i was just waiting i'm like you know they're you know let's give people the benefit of the doubt up until you said like couples retreat i forgot that that was a detail i don't know they're married

i think they're married let's assume they're their boyfriend their boyfriend and girlfriend yeah for four years four years dude yeah why are you going on a couple's retreat first of all that's just weirdo behavior to go on a couple's retreat like without the person that like for that's like that's step one yeah you're very goofy doing that you're going on a couple's retreat without the person that is the second couple means two where i'm from yeah um also where i'm from yeah so you're going on a couple's retreat as a single which is weirdo behavior um two that's just i don't know i'm not dating someone that has kids so i can't like necessarily like relate but like my father dated someone and i was the kid in the situation and

like it's not that we're close but like she considered me yeah you know like especially four years in you're like right this is a part of the life of someone that you're with like you gotta like you know make some considerations you know at least try yeah and then to just leave after not talking about it it's just it's it's i mean this is a pretty like clear asshole no the the poster's not the asshole yeah the husband is easily the asshole here yeah doesn't he sound like he fucking blows yeah he sounds like he sucks to take a picture of all the like rose petal beds yeah you know and then to be like don't don't be clipped with me i don't even know what that means i don't either but like short i guess whatever that's a dumb word for that yeah i just i don't

know what i would like that there's no way that this is like isolated behavior no dude this isn't this isn't a it can't be a surprise either that he's like this like that's such a like that's that has to be a part of a pattern of being an ass yeah i mean that's also just embarrassing to show up to a couple's retreat alone be like yeah she couldn't find a sitter for her kids so i just came by myself it's like dude you might just need a vacation but this is such a crazy way to execute that totally i completely agree yeah dick people agreed that she was not the asshole oh i would love to see the comments of people saying she is right i don't think there's anyone that was saying this is pretty this is a pretty cut and dry one folks yeah agreed okay

this is a little bit less cut and dry okay this is not relationship related but i picked it i love this because both you and i are dog people okay so the the title of this is am i the asshole for not saying anything about a couple's baby while petting their dog yesterday when i 24 female went for a morning jog in the park i saw a couple walking one of the most adorable puppies i've ever seen in my life uh the puppy locked eyes with me and that was it wagging her tail tongue out smiling trying to pull the husband in my direction i paused my jog and ran over to ask if i could say hello and they said of course the puppy wouldn't have allowed me not to i love dogs so i was in heaven i spent several minutes on the ground with her getting all kinds of love and

affection and asking her owners her name how old etc she also happened to be the same breed as the dog i grew up with who passed away a few weeks ago a golden retriever who was my best friend so this was especially comforting for me side note golden retriever puppies are the fucking cutest beautiful they look like they look like dessert yeah you know they're like little fluffy pancake dogs a few minutes into talking to clarify about two minutes and i was probably with them for about four total two with the dog two with the wife being mad at me and the husband getting her to leave i noticed the wife starting to look irritated at first i figured i might have overstayed my welcome so i decided to back off i got up and said something like i'll let you get

back to your walk now but thank you so much that was the highlight of my day as the husband was saying goodbye to me the wife interrupts him and goes really i was pretty confused so i asked her if something was wrong see the couple also had a baby with them a little girl sleeping in a stroller i'm bad with ages but if i had to guess she was probably around a month ish old the wife said i was beyond rude for spending all this time killing over the damn dog but not saying anything about her newborn i have absolutely nothing against babies or children in the slightest including this woman's daughter i see them as other human beings just like me but i won't lie babies and kids have never elicited the same instant warm feelings that dogs and all animals do for me

this is to say i've never really been the type to coo at babies i don't hate or dislike them at all i just regard them in the same way i regard all strangers regardless of age anyway before i could get a word in the husband began ushering her away and told me to have a good day though i could still hear her muttering things about me under her breath as they left i didn't mean to be rude but i'm wondering now if i actually was am i the asshole absolutely not you know because whatever it's like babies aren't fun the way dogs are yeah i agree she's not the asshole i wonder if there's some postpartum depression going on here you know regardless regardless of the reason and this could just not be postpartum depression too this could just be how she is because the husband you know

reacted pretty automatically like all right honey she might have just had like that kind of abrasive personality but like i mean you gotta you have this brand new puppy and a brand new baby at the same time like maybe she's having people come meet the baby and everyone's just paying attention to the puppies if people start coming up to me to see my baby when i have it i'm that's i'm not i'm gonna get away from yeah yeah get away from my child yeah take your fucking grubby hands away from those grubby mitts off of here fucking take your grabbers away pet my dog instead get those clampers out of here get those scorching hot pinchers away from my from my child if you told me this is uh this couple's mad at me for wasting their time for two minutes sitting on

the floor with their dog valid i hate when people do that shit to me interesting yeah i can understand that yeah you're at poly is a a magnetic dog yeah she's just rubbing her ass all in the shit on the sidewalk bathing and pee while people are like oh look at the cute baby you can take this out i'm just like sounds like a therapy session now everything that you've told me that i can take out i'm probably gonna end up leaving in well that's all i had for today beautiful thank you so much thanks for having me for co-hosting with me i think this is going to be another short episode but at least it's not 15 minutes long like all my solo episodes but i appreciate you giving me your time tag me in whenever you need me um i'm gonna make you sing our song with

me okay again yeah i mean we have to it's the exit song i feel weird calling these people my children they don't even know me you know i'll just make i'll let you harmonize with me because you actually know how to harmonize this is going to be a challenge because i'm going to sing off keep go sing it we love you our children all right that's beautiful the third and the fifth whatever whoa my god band kid baby okay bye Thank you.