The Hoely Hour - E144 Everyone At Trader Joe's Is F*cking

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

The sexual tension in Trader Joe's is palpable, and it's because they're all boning. Let's talk about Jonah Hill's texts, and how being "the cool girl" is actually a miserable experience. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

what she's like i shit my pants i gotta go back to the campground and like you could smell it she smelled like a baby yeah it smells the same no matter the age yeah i'm so quirky all the quirky girls shit their pants i'm not like other girls i shit my pants welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia sanson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia sanson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at the holy hour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast

at gmail.com i am refreshed i am ready to be here fuck yes i am ready to drink this drink if you leave me again i'm going to have a meltdown i think that we just need to start going on all of each other's vacations i see nothing i see literally no issues with this is my emotional support best friend so right she travels for free yeah you put a little those are the rules yeah so it's like do not pet yeah emotional support bestie just in training yeah but emotional support friend in training yeah i just sit on your lap on the plane it's like don't fucking tell me i identify as an emotional support pet yeah and I also identify her yeah so let us be it would have been fun it would have been fun to

have like one of my friends there too I believe it uh plus one yeah well because we it you know when you're going into like a group of friends that have been friends for a long time and you're like this dynamic i don't yeah um we played this game called it's a board game and it's called secret hitler i think oh my god have you played that yes yeah it's really fun yeah and the first round mr liz was hitler oh my god um i was a liberal uh which i think was perfect for getting acclimated to the game but it's witch hunt which i played before yeah um and then there's like three fascists and they're like so they knew who hitler is but hitler doesn't know who the fascists are so you just kind of have to like go off of like vibes and arguments over who you think is

the fascist and um me and then i would say i i call her like the group's like founding friend like she is the reason that all of them are friends i love that and i am the newest to this group but she and i were like on the same page about every person i was like she was like i think i think mr liz is hitler and i was like i think so too now i was like now that you say that he absolutely is talking about this like with everyone listening yes and then like no he was just he was being he loves to just be like a contrarian for fun regardless so i think he would have done that no matter what uh-huh um and then I could tell which of the friends were fascist just like immediately and then um she picks up on vibes other people were confused but then when we were

discussing it later I was like well the main the founder friend like she know she knows all of you guys like she's known you from day one of your friendship and then I'm new so I have a different perspective on your guys dynamic so I think that's why we both were able to be so in tune it's a dream team yeah so I thought that was really funny I love I love that shit we there's a game called um one night ultimate werewolf that is that it's like secret hitler I am the proud owner of an epilator now oh oh yeah because of you and my therapist I told my therapist I came into her office and I was like before we get started I got an epilator and she was like laughing she's like i can't believe we're talking about this during your therapy appointment but um

i am completely addicted to it that shit is the most satisfying thing really yeah dude like doing it and then looking and seeing like all of the hair that got pulled out like from the root is so satisfying it's like popping the zit for me but it's so fucking painful i can't believe that you like it I really I love like it doesn't bother me on my legs I've gotten good on my pits interesting maybe I should try they look great no you can always look at those smooth armpits no you can't like look at those pits my follicles are so dark that like no matter how much I shave you can see them so you're gonna have to be careful about ingrown hairs because the hair thins and then it just gets like i was reading such a pain in the butt my epilator came

with like a um like a razor for like edges too for like the bikini line and i have been annihilating my bikini line like in the worst way i bleed every single time i use it yeah oh my god because if it nicks your hair the wrong way you have to go in the direction of your hair but like around your bikini line you have hair in like every direction oh you go with the grain with the epilator not with the epilator but with the the edger yeah um because if you don't it's you you bleed and it's been the kind of bleeding that never stops um but anyway i'm like really i'm a changed woman so um i have you to thank for that what else is a life i'm proud of you i can't believe you just like went right in with the epilator you didn't even like try

a wax first you know what it was though is i bought it and then i was drunk the first time i used it so i felt very little pain and i was like i can take on the fucking world and like that was like a very bad idea you know what i mean but it was like like i don't recommend that to anybody don't do that yeah you will you will hurt yourself bleed more but it took away the pain uh i usually will take some ibuprofen or something beforehand and then i will use a numbing cream a topical numbing cream that makes a huge difference because i didn't do that somewhat recently and i was like this fucking hurts on your your bikini area yeah yeah does the numbing cream gunk up the epilator no i wait okay until it dries yeah i put it on like probably a half hour before and

i make sure it dries up talking to my therapist about that she was like i can't put lotion on it because it gunks up the epilator i said bitch i haven't had that yeah uh but yeah no i've um big fan can you hear this no okay good um i have some topics for you i have one large topic but we can wait okay I have two smaller topics um the first one is about polyamory um a hot topic for me I guess in the last few episodes I feel like yeah I've said some critical things about polyamory in the past um but I think it's also just because there's such a like there's such a an array of polyamorous people and the worst ones are the loudest amen that's so true um but do you know about right-hand spouses no so a right-hand spouse in a polyamorous relationship let's say like

someone is already married to someone and then they want to marry another person that person gets the right hand because they already are married like they already have a ring on their left hand okay so you have your left hand spouse and your right hand interesting okay yeah i just learned about i like that i mean i like i mean i don't know i don't like it personally but i like that like idea um someone was telling me about their co-worker who is in a polyamorous relationship and they're they are going to be the right hand spouse for this other person wow yeah so um i was like reading about it i was like this is really interesting i was like reading their wedding website and um they were like explain everything they're like yes it's legal because we're not

getting legally married but we're like going to be married to each other you know yeah yeah yeah um so it's that's so interesting the way the the relationship is the i don't know how what to call each person but um the middle person the middle player yeah she was already married to a man and then now her right-hand spouse is going to be a woman okay and they're they have a shared house the three of them does her husband get to interact with the right-hand spouse they are not romantically okay they're they're friends they're like best friends they're not romantically involved at all because the right hand spouse i think is just a lesbian okay um so they one of them lives upstairs and the other one lives downstairs wow yeah and i was like that actually sounds like kind of fun

yeah and i was just thinking about how nice it would be to have two spouses yeah to take care of you i mean that sounds like a very healthy like everyone's on board and everyone's like okay with the the setup yeah you see i just me and frank have talked about this like quite a bit about how like neither of us are into the idea of anything other than monogamy in our relationship and the more that i think about it like the less i like the idea because i went through like a i went through like a good chunk of my life not that long ago where i was like i don't think we're not going for me yeah and that was just because nobody was like doing it for me until i met frank you know i was like maybe i can just find it from a bunch of different people i

just need to like frankenstein several men to be enough of one man yep exactly and then you found a man you didn't even need a frankenstein one i got a frank instead of a frankenstein hell yeah i was gonna like go into like a whole guitar solo but i pulled back no it uh it's definitely not for me anymore but it's so fascinating to learn about it and i can understand why it would work for other people and i keep learning things like right hand spouse i know i was like oh is that like a right hand man like it's somebody that's like you know like a like a ride or die but i mean kind of yeah but that's not why they call it a version of that yeah it's an iteration very interesting i thought that was really yeah i thought that was cool yeah

so i wanted to share that dope let's start with this what is your experience when you go to trader joe's um the parking lot fucking sucks yeah i think that's just a universal experience it feels like a like a requirement when they build a trader joe's at the parking lot has to be awful like we need to find the worst possible it's it's incredible the one in capitol hill is especially horrible it's have you been in that parking garage no oh yeah yeah yeah war zone oh my god it's awful and then the one in Ballard like I don't even know how to get to it I don't know how to get to the parking lot I just park on the street and walk there isn't one they just like I've seen it but I'm like is there a way into this anyway regardless um so that's like you know but then um I feel like

I'm always dodging people and then the checkstand people always make me blush what's it so what's your experience been like just with the people who work there so whenever i i don't interact with anyone unless i'm like going to pay like they're yeah i don't like they kind of just like fuck off are you finding shopping everything okay and you're like yeah even if you're not yeah yeah don't fucking talk to me i'm so fine i'm fighting for my life right now internally yeah totally totally no but when i go to like check out first of all it's a requirement for them to like point out something that they like that you've bought like it's like have you tried this before yeah or like oh i love i love the like chocolate covered banana like you know they have

to say one thing that you bought is like their favorite thing which is hilarious but then like i am always so shy with trader joe's checkout people they're always attractive and they're like kind of flirty yeah like is everyone at trader joe's trying to fuck me right now yeah oh my god am i like are they all in love with me am i better than everybody um uh one time a guy working at the checkout was like what what are your top three like favorite trader joe's products and i i like started sweating i was like um uh undercover boss like what the fuck is this like i feel like i'm about to fail a test yeah like oh it's okay you can come back and i was like um the mochi cake mix um oh they have that yeah it's so good it's

seasonal um which is unfortunate but i love their shit i'm part of the trader joe subreddit but the the sexual attention of trader joe's yeah i just came across this article that confirms that like all the trader joe's employees are fucking so i'm gonna read this article to you because it's hilarious i love this so this is from slate.com i love sleep um and this article is by luke winky oh i'm clear if that's his real name but thank you for this hilarious article luke it's called trader ooze oh my god like oh oh oh oh trader owes that makes more sense and then the sub headline is um you're not imagining it trader joe's employees are all boning each other amazing when jeremy worked at the sterile fluorescently lit

grocery store chain albertsons he and other employees rarely connected the store was too big and there was too much to do. Imprisoned for hours at the register in the stale, lightly chilled air, surrounded by people magazines, tic-tacs, and slim jibs, he spent most of his time waiting to leave. Things changed after he started working at Trader Joe's. The place just seemed alive. Everyone was friendly, the store was small enough for friendships to form, and the endearingly tacky hawaiian shirts and punny food stuffs made it seem fun more importantly everyone it seemed was banging each other referring to trader joe's as the single most incestuous company he ever worked for he describes his first few months there as a sort of carnal mayhem we worked late shifts and

everyone lived nearby explained jeremy who spent 10 years at a california trader joe's i noticed it with the staff at first, but it was even with the managers. They'd make jokes about it. There was a manager who met his wife through Trader Joe's. Whenever we get new managers, they'd introduce their partners by saying, yeah, I met them at the manager party. Two of the people I was hired with became managers and got married. It was nonstop for some people. Shopping at Trader Joe's is affordable grocery blood sport, a battle with other customers to get the last mango jicama slaw or for new frozen items for others there's a sort of quivering horniness in the air attention floating between the shelves of tomato feta soup and everything but bagel seasoning you know it

when you feel it or maybe you already have either everyone at trader joe's wants to fuck me or everyone at trader joe's is fucking each other but something sexual is definitely going on there rachel senate a comedian and actress wrote at the beginning of 2020 megan johnson a writer from boston concurred i'm not sure very much in my life but i'm pretty confident in my belief that the staff of trader joe's is having sex parties after they close the store i interject yes her last name is johnson and the author's last name is winky and they're both um words for penis sorry johnson's a penis huh i was friends with a guy named his this was his nickname so i'm not selling about his name was tall johnson t-a-u-l was how he spelled tall tall johnson had a long

johnson yeah anyway go on presumably maybe was he actually tall yes but that's not why they called him tall he was regular because like somebody couldn't pronounce his name in middle school so they called him tall and johnson no he's tall johnson okay go on i cannot confirm the existence of midnight post lockup orgies but after many interviews with current and former trader joe staffers and delving deep into the trader joe's employee subreddit i can report yes trader joe's has seen a whole lot of hookups aaron another ex-crewmate who worked at a tri-state trader joe's throughout her college years was taken aback at how amorous the staff was there were tons of interest or couples she told me at my first store a manager there fucked one of the employees who

was married to a separate other employee at that same branch two of my co-workers had a baby together jonathan who currently works at a midwestern trader joe's is seeing one of his co-workers it's awkward because she used to date a guy who still works here he said and i can't really look him in the eye that trader joe's is like every theater department except the men are straight yeah right well some of them another former crew member sarah told me two employees she worked with had hooked up in the freight elevator the stuff of legend at her store allison who worked at stores over the course of five years said the situation in her area was so heated that colleagues from different locations around her area coordinated their lunchtime crew

meals for a bit of afternoon delight as drake says the things we could do in 20 minutes girl allison said oh my god some of the posters agreed that the rampaging libido left their sick with hurt feelings and bad vibes but others simply described trader joe's as a bacchanalian free love environment akin to a verdant hippie commune or a poly or a polycule that pays $15 per hour. Sarah agreed that Trader Joe's puts a lot of stock into creating a breezy kinship among those wearing the apron, which is likely why so many of the store's customers get the sense that the cashiers are flirting with them. In a podcast released by Trader Joe's in 2019, the company's president said that trader joe specifically seeks out people who have outwardly nice personalities

because it's difficult to train someone to be nice the general positivity and management practices at the store is contributive to being flirty sarah said there may also be an even simpler explanation during her stint at the company allison said she couldn't remember a single encounter with the trader joe's clerk that she'd describe as ugly when gaggle when a gaggle of hot young single folks stock shelves together inertia tends to take over you can just feel the sexual tension when you walk in the doors she said it's so true that's so funny when you ask what my experience is it was in trader joe's like one of my like one of the first things i said was that i always like blush when i like interact with any of them yeah i feel so i never feel that way at

like freddy's no they don't they want that's because they don't want to be there yeah true i usually go to the self-check too that's all and now we know that people at trader joe's are getting fucked yeah no wonder they're in such a good mood they have no self-check at trader joe's which is a thing you always have to you're kind of forced to like interact with these like beautiful humans i also think damn you're so hot and like this is such a good snack yeah makes you even hotter right it's like oh my god you like my taste do you want to come over and eat them later must want to fuck me but like also i think like they hire people that are friendly like it's saying um and also like a lot of those people have like shared interests like they're all at

least in the seattle area they're all like very outdoorsy people like you can tell that they like spend a lot of time outside yeah and so like they like shared interests find that anywhere in seattle yeah right that's true but like it's it's like in a you know in a vacuum it's like very concentrated in a trader joe's and like you're spending all this time together and then like you know there's nothing that like gets sexual attention going quite like frozen indian food for me you know what i mean there is one person i avoid their checkout aisle at my trader joe's really why yeah they just they're just like not good conversationalists and it feels like they're talking at you and you need to be like oh i don't like that's crazy yeah it like feels

like rehearsed lines i hate that shit well no not even that like um they the first time i met them i think they like had just started working there and they told me like some crazy story about them being on the bus and I was like god that's cranking that damn that sucks but also like I don't know you so I don't really want to have to like yeah be sensitive while I'm trying to just like get out of the worst environment for me to possibly be in right yes absolutely I do think though there is something about Trader Joe's being in Trader Joe's like I don't know if it's like the handwritten like things on all of the shelves like the prices and like the names it feels very personal in there yeah you know it doesn't feel like like when i'm at fred meyer safeway i'm like

i just feel very like it's removed corporate and sterile yeah it's like i'm here to get like you know like i don't fucking toothpaste and i'm getting the fuck out at trader joe's i'm like oh i'm here to like live i'm like getting things the politics of regular grocery stores is so fucking obnoxious like the one that's at the corner um i think it's like qfc um they move shit around all the time they get a new manager and they move shit around and i'm like do you guys have any logical sense like none of these things go together why are you organizing them like this also stop moving them around please like if it's not broke don't fix it yeah i just got used to where you guys keep shit

they just honestly living in this area sucks because the grocery stores are always absolutely cleaned out you need to move hear me i want to my lease is almost up okay move toward move toward me i'm that's the plan okay i just want to be i want to be honestly i do specifically want to be closer to you that's amazing one to spend more time together and two so this podcast is easier to record because the commute is closer it's not cute it is though nice that mr liz is close to me and frank is close to you so we can kill two birds one stone every week i hadn't i hadn't thought of that uh-huh yeah our our men are close to each other or like close to you know what i mean yeah in proximity yeah yeah so those were my only two

things is just that everybody at trader joe's is fucking um that's the episode title for sure everyone at trader joe's is fucking and you're not yeah so it's time to get a job at trader joe's yeah so yeah that's actually that that's i was like maybe i should get a weekend job yeah maybe i should i don't know just to feel something see if they're hiring yeah I mean that's the moral of the story if you're in a dry spell work at Trader Joe's and you'll fuck and then the other thing was the the right hand spouse yeah love it cool well what I wanted to talk about today will probably take up the rest of the fucking time and it's Jonah Hill's text messages oh yeah dude uh this is a hot topic and I have so many thoughts about it if you

haven't been like brought up to speed on this I recommend reading the text yourself because it really is a contentious topic which i wasn't expecting um everybody has different ideas about like how they feel about this i am not team jonah hill i've never been team jonah hill even before this he's apparently a complete fucking nightmare of a person like he's not kind he's like very abrasive really cold and then like i'm seeing these texts that just like remind me of like so many people i've dated in the past of just being like you know having thoughts and opinions on like how i choose to conduct myself in my own personal spaces and in your own body yeah right exactly so like there's that piece of it which i'll get into the other piece of it is like

the breach of privacy of like sharing these text messages which i completely understand that side of it um and i'm not dismissing that people are calling it the x files like ex that's stupid yeah keep your day job um but like i like i completely understand like that aspect of it where like you know somebody's saying something in in confidence and now it's being like blasted there but also i do think that it's important to be held responsible for being manipulative and shitty yeah well because these texts are in a they're kind of in a vacuum you know it's just happening between you and another person and you're like please don't tell anybody about this conversation because you either know what you're saying is shitty and fucked up or

um you don't want that person to like have a safe space and feel like validated yeah you know yeah I don't know I do understand wanting some privacy to an extent but when it comes to like something like that like an argument someone telling you what to do whatever like you're gonna consult your friends and then um I don't know it's yes I know absolutely it's like there's there's like a an interplay and like you know like saying that and like you know like mentioning that it's it is technically a breach of privacy that aside the shit that this man was saying to his ex-girlfriend like i was like you are fucking delusional and like maybe we should read these yeah absolutely give it more context but like you know like weaponizing therapy like

i'm like you know we all know someone who like they they're in there they've like gone to enough therapy where they know the language and they generally understand what it means and then they weaponize it yeah they like uh yeah yeah it's like i'm the more evolved one and i'm correct here because like i pay attention to my mental health it's like no like being being in touch with your mental health also like includes recognizing when you are using your mental health to manipulate someone else also didn't jonah hill made like some kind of documentary about therapy yeah like he interviewed a guy who's i think a therapist yeah and it was just like he just discovered therapy that was it and this kind of also just reminds me of like just those jokes that you see

about like how white guys do mushrooms one time and then they like realize something that you experienced when you were nine you know yeah yeah they're like oh other people have feelings yeah i'm not the only one who has feelings well other people experience i think about my where i think about myself so much so like other people must be thinking about themselves so much so no one's like fucking thinking about other people have consciousness and their own lives to worry about it's so true there's something about dudes that do drugs for the first time that make them just the most like go to therapy for two months and have like one breakthrough yeah they're like oh i do this because of my parents yeah a fucking duh most of your shitty

behaviors are because of your parents i hate to break this to everybody right but then there's also like the aspect of it where like he's new to therapy so he's like you know he has that aspect but then he is also these are my boundaries he's a celebrity who like you know is at the top and there's very few people telling him that he's wrong yes so he's he has that kind of like narcissism not in like the clinical sense but like you're like he's he has the narcissism of like well like you know i i just discovered this thing about myself and i'm correct and like you're wrong and like fuck you for like ever thinking that maybe you're right about this but read the text and then we can talk about it okay um that one's the big one yeah so this first one uh he sends a

screenshot of so to give some background information this woman um what's her name sarah sorry sarah brady is a professional um surfer and surf instructor so he sends her a screenshot of her own instagram and it's her in a one-piece swimsuit on a surfboard surfing because that's her job and he said respect however you want to live or respect however you want to live your life you only get one sort of done with explaining myself and then because he wanted her to remove some pictures on her instagram and she says three removed not the video yet it is my best surfing video would you feel better if the cover frame was different any more specific ones that bother you that's so accommodating i know it's way more accommodating than he deserves yeah if a single

man ever said some kind of shit of like please remove this picture of you in a swimsuit i'd be like get fucked yeah no and we're gonna talk about this it's just so insecure um and then he said yeah one that isn't of your ass and a thong and then she said not a thong but k and then she said shared a screenshot of their full conversation and he said plain and simple if you need surfing with men boundaryless and appropriate friendships with men to model to post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit to post sexual pictures friendships with women who are in unstable places and from your wild recent past beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectful I am not the right partner for you if these things bring you to a place of happiness I support it and there will

be no hard feelings these are my boundaries for romantic partnership my boundaries with you based on the ways these action have hurt our trust and then when she shared it on her instagram story she said see the misuse of the term boundaries because boundaries aren't manipulative boundaries aren't controlling their boundaries are not insecure they are a way to protect yourself and change your own like behavior that hurts yourself yeah you know totally there's this is like such a like a bigger issue that I've been wanting to talk about for a while and this is the perfect like manifestation of the issue of men like loving the idea of having like an exciting woman in their life that has like this exciting job that like gets a lot of attention like being

like a pro surfer and having like an amazing body that they want to show off it's like oh I want that but then when they have it they get insecure about it and they try to change it it's like it's not so fun when when they actually have that person in their life and I've experienced that with dating a lot not to this scale obviously but like of you know somebody being like oh I love how like independent you are and how like you love showing yourself off but then it like comes down to and it's like why do you like why are you trying to get attention from other guys it really it's it's pretty it's sad to see and you know I have I have sympathy for people that have issues with insecurity i really do but like you know like be aware of your own insecurity him calling

it a boundary instead of what it is which is an insecurity is manipulative in and of itself just like go like if you're so like proud of you like therapy work on that in therapy and i doubt any therapist is saying to this man like tell her that she needs to take down her pictures how fucking pissed would you be if you were dating this guy and then he did all this like manipulative bullshit and was an asshole about it and then you break up and he makes a fucking documentary about a therapist yeah how mad would you be like oh this guy's acting like he invented therapy and then he's talking to me like this completely unaware of how horrible he is being yeah no i'd be steaming mad i'd like no wonder she wanted to post this shit she's like i can't do i can't

handle it anymore this guy fucking sucks and he's like gets to live his life yeah yeah i mean that we see that shit all the time too totally absolutely and i think the unfortunate piece of this is that he's going to come away from this unscathed like he's you know he's just going to because he's probably not i mean i hope he fucking learns a lesson he's not going to comment on it and i don't want him to i don't like i don't think anybody needs him to comment on this because like what the fuck can you say you know what i mean yeah if he ever says anything about it should be like five years from now when he's like yeah i realized how much that fucking sucked yeah and then like go be a monk i don't know right yeah and i mean like there's this new she

she um posted like a whole slew of new texts today like we're recording this on tuesday um where she was like talking about he he was going like on and on about how i guess she had waited to share all of this until after his baby was born because like he she didn't want his like new partner to like have stress during the pregnancy but like yeah which is why it's all coming out now but um i guess like he had been like sexting sarah like not so long before he like went public with his new relationship and when she confronted him about that and sent a screenshot of like the date like we were we were sexting like not that long before you guys went public with your relationship he turned it around and was like

this is so triggering for you to share intimate screenshots and she's like i'm just sending you what you said with the date on it this is what you but this is what they do it's like he's like mad yeah he's mad about his own choices yeah he's mad that she's throwing it in his face and it's indefensible so he's he's jumping on her about it the thing that this is reminding me so much of my ex when he was dating someone new and sexting me and then i would confront him about it and i was like you're objectifying me and he's like you weren't the object i was like i was fulfilling a fantasy and i was like but you were using me to do it yeah like he does he was doing the same exact thing as jonah hill and then when it's just you and this other person you feel like

you're like am i being insane like yeah am i being unreasonable and then you look at it in the future or you share it with a friend and you're like no i wasn't like i'm i'm calling him out on his shit and he's not he's choosing to like not acknowledge it right i mean it's so much to like actually have to think about in the moment when like tensions are high and your adrenaline is going and it's like oh my god like I must and also like the level of brainwashing that must go into like you know dating somebody like Jonah Hill who has like a track record of being like not the greatest person ever like just in terms of like being unkind and like you know having him be the one that's like public facing and like making all of this money and like having sort

of control over the relationship from that aspect and like having control over like what people know and like it would be easy to just kind of be like no you're right like okay sorry yeah i'm sure that this was also just eating her up oh yeah to the because something like that just gnaws at you like not only was he a shitty partner to her and like controlling and manipulative he was also like being shitty to his now partner that he has a kid with right by like cheating on her that's what he was doing yeah i mean yeah we don't know when they became like you know officially exclusive but still it's like if you're right if you're talking to your ex in a sexual way yeah and you know that you're seeing someone else who would be upset about that yeah

come on yeah you're you're a grown-ass man dog yeah i mean but that's grown man we all know somebody who has been like you know caught and just been like whoa like i can't believe you bring this you're throwing this in my face like this it's like no i'm not throwing shit in your face i'm making you aware of the fact that i've put two and two together well in the fact like he's doing this and he's mad that the way his behavior towards another person was made them feel something yeah it's like no my guy this is just the consequences of your own actions so if you're this upset about it it's because you know that what you were doing was wrong right and inappropriate in some capacity it's like being caught in a lie and you're like no i wasn't i wasn't lying yeah

let me teach you about shame jonah hill because that is the root of your behavior right now you feel ashamed of your behavior and and you should that's why you're being even more of a dick yeah yeah i mean it's it's it's one of these things where it's like i'm sure there are some people that are looking at this like why is this a big deal why is this news but it's also like a tale as old as time like this is something that so many people have experienced with exes or current partners of like you know the control and the manipulation and the um like puppeteering of like how you're choosing personally to like share your body and your life and yourself that like that's why it's being picked up like this that's why like i've hooked into it so much it's like oh my god

like i've dated i've dated jonah hill you see shit like this all the time well and it's like so in fear like i said it's infuriating to see this guy like march around acting like he invented therapy yeah and then turns around and like purposely misuses therapy speak to be manipulative and seem like he knows what he's talking about and it really is a misuse of the word boundaries it really is what what i would say is like how he could have gone about it is like this makes me insecure and you don't need to change anything i just need you to be aware exactly and like let's let's keep communicating about it and maybe we can work on this together in therapy totally because being insecure isn't the issue it's it's you're insecure and you're going about it in a

disgusting way your insecurity you're like using that to try and control another person yeah and once your behavior is purposely trying to control someone else that's when it's an issue totally and I mean I've been there like I've no we all have I've been I've been the person insecure where I'm like you know like my ex would post any picture and I wouldn't say anything to him but like my initial reaction would be like oh my god like now I'm gonna have to worry about like people seeing this and like perceiving him and him getting attention like when I was like at my most insecure like I understand like the chaos of feeling insecure but like keep it to a keep it to yourself at the at the worst keep it to yourself which is what I did or b like you said

have like a constructive conversation about like hey I'm feeling this way right now and like I just needed you to be aware of it because really like that removes the power of the insecurity yeah because once you say it sometimes too you're like that's so silly yeah and it doesn't have as much power anymore especially if you do if you call it the anxiety goose like i know that this isn't real this isn't who i really am yeah and that these feelings and fears are motivated by something else deep inside of me that i understand and understanding it like i've said so many times understanding it doesn't make it go away yeah but changing how you handle it makes it go away totally and continuing to change how you handle it I think a lot of people get

stuck at the understanding it step yep and just think okay the work's done yeah they're like I understand it and I'm gonna explain it to you so now you have to manage it yeah instead of me changing my behavior you can't hot potato your fucking feelings I see that I see that happens so often with like younger people they're like you need to be careful because this might be triggering to someone it's like okay well that's the world baby yeah I can be considerate but like I'm not gonna know every single person's specific trigger that was the beginning of like this whole when people start when triggering like that phrase was like a hot topic everything was fucking triggering and everybody sorry now I'm getting now I'm getting Italian about it

everything was triggering and everybody needed to be 100% aware of everybody's triggers and like tiptoe around it. Please don't post pictures of your cats because I had a cat and it died and that was really upsetting for me and seeing a picture of your cat is triggering. So don't do that. It's a fight night in here right now and it's so distracting. They always like to fight in front of Amelia just to show her. I love it so much. Oh my God. Oh my God, Liz. I got like super super into wwe lore this morning hell yeah i you know i love lore you honest to god you should i need to send you some wwe lore i got served a video about um this uh one of these fighters named uh ray mysterio who he has a whole issue with his son um dominic mysterio who's

anyway so regardless i got deep into the lore texted frank frank is a huge wwe fan he's just been sitting on wait i know about this yeah lore it's so fun uh wait what are their names again ray and dominic mysterio and yep i know about this lore and like the the son turned bad yeah he went to he went to jail yeah and came out like yeah yeah his uh girlfriend is also very hot yes the two of them and so is his sister by panic well because i was watching the last uh what's the thing the big thing oh wrestlemania yeah i was watching wrestlemania and old the older the dad was supposed to come out and then he didn't and then the son came out with his mask which implies that he killed his dad or at least injured him so he wouldn't be able to participate

hate it's crazy fuck dog i know i do love i do love the lore of i want to go wrestling i want to go to that would be so fun you know it smells crazy in there also at wrestlemania it was the worst fucking music performance i've ever seen in my life it was so bad the audience was like not even stoked about it and like all of the tweets were like what the fuck is this shit that's incredible that kind of that contributes in such a positive way i kind of want to watch a replay of it now um john cena followed me on threads what the fuck i just is he following you on instagram no he doesn't he follows nobody on instagram and nobody on tiktok but he's following like 6 000 people on threads but and you're one of them yeah he has like a million followers on

threads i want and i messaged i tweeted or i threaded him and i was like why i bet he doesn't know how to use probably not but like what the fuck the fact that i was like you know came across his feed in some way and he maybe accidentally this girl's funny smash the follow button anyway so now i'm getting served wwe stuff hell yeah what i have an idea oh let's become wrestlers okay and podcast sick do you remember the show made yes um the one that was done at my school was my friend becca and she got made into a wwe wrestler hell yeah what the fuck fucking dope i want to do that yeah yeah it was pretty cool except i'm 31 31 year old woman wants to be made into a pro wrestler wwe i would watch that have you seen a glow i watched the first

i watched the pilot but that was it it's i love glow it's the reason i love wrestling oh fuck yeah because the gorgeous ladies of wrestling yeah um and it's just fun would would you want to be a face or a heel what's that so a face is like a good guy and a heel is a bad guy oh god i would want to be a heel because i feel like i'm a face everywhere else i would want to be a heel it'd just be so fun to be the bad guy yeah i never got to be the bad guy in any plays yeah oh see i was always cast as the bitch in the police oh i was always comic relief love that okay you know what i say i want to be a heel but i also like i was watching all these videos you could be a face turning into a heel well when you're a heel if they're booing they know like they know it's not

real i know but still i'm like don't please don't boo me don't boo me but if they're booing you then you're doing your job yeah that's you know you want them to boo i thought about that too like would I want people booing me and then I think I would because like that's true it's it's a show you know yeah and everybody there like you're saying knows it's like theater that's true um okay we really we really diverted you were gonna talk about the cool girl effect I just wanted to talk about being a cool girl in general yeah cool girl with air quotes around it yeah have you seen the show love starring Gillian Jacobs no but I've I've heard about it like 10 times in the past isn't um it's kind of old i can't remember i've seen it so long ago okay but

um but there is a scene where so it starts off as like gillian jacobs is like the cool girl and that's how she was cast in community as well is just like the cool girl and then they realized it'd be funnier to just let her like let britta become an insufferable character her name is Britta yeah um and then Gillian Jacobs in love um she plays Mickey and uh she starts dating this guy the other main character and then like he is definitely punching up it's he's played by Paul Rust I don't know if you know who that is but um he's absolutely punching up with her Gillian Jacobs is beautiful so um but love breaks down like this kind of like cool girl like nerdy guy dynamic and like addresses it for the way it is and like she has this little monologue let me I

was reading about it earlier and she says they have this like final altercation and she says surprise I'm not the cool girl I'm not just some girl you can fuck for a while to prove to yourself that you can be dangerous and edgy and you're not some huge dork and I think that like all of us can relate to that because we've all been told we're crazy at one point for like having feelings because this guy that you know is maybe not a guy that you would typically go out with or something or like it doesn't even need to be that just like any guy that you that you can tell they like you because they think you're cool you're the cool girl like you said like yeah oh you're independent and like you're hot and i want people to see me with you and then when they actually are

either that guy becomes insecure or like in this circumstance she becomes insecure because like he just starts being an asshole right and uh then that makes you like feel like oh i'm doing something wrong so like now I need to overcompensate but you're not like the expectation for you to be a cool girl is so exhausting yeah and there's obviously the cool girl monologue and gone girl that is iconic yeah yeah yeah it's really um I've been talking a lot about I just uh did an interview on a podcast that is going to come out in August but I was talking about this there where and I've actually talked about it I've talked about it so much recently but it's relevant to this that I like with this internet like presence that I've had like trying to at first

when I started dating like when I had a presence you know like oh this is kind of cool like you know people like kind of know who I am beforehand so I don't have to like do too much work you know to like show them who I am or like prove to them that I'm cool but then it started to be a hindrance that like they had an idea of who I was because you color in when you see someone that you like think is like cool or whatever or like a certain way you like obviously fill in some blanks and either they're exactly what you think they're going to be and it's disappointing or they're the complete opposite of what you thought that they were and then it's disappointing either way it's disappointing so it's like going in with like any sort of like preconceived notion about

who somebody is or like you know like putting them on a pedestal before they really like like earn that is dangerous yeah because like then you just somebody ends up disappointed regardless well I think we've talked about this before too of being put on a pedestal or putting someone on a pedestal specifically being put on a pedestal of being the cool girl for example yeah of someone just being like oh this girl's so fucking cool and then they have this idea of you in their head and then when you do anything outside of that idea they don't like it yeah they like want to control you or they don't like you anymore and then you're like what did i do wrong yeah you know but I was just thinking about how it like sucks to like you're seen as the cool

girl because you when you're single you are the cool girl you're only you you've just spent time doing what you like and being alone and like those are the kinds of things that like make you confident because you're not you don't have to consider anyone else you are just doing what you like and when you're in that phase of life you love yourself you know and then someone else is obviously going to be attracted to that and then the steps of building this idea of you and who they want you to be and then when you show any bit of humanness it takes you off that pedestal and then it hurts your feelings totally you know and then it the thing that I was realizing that sucks is like kind of getting into this like anxiety spiral

and being a little manic like oh I'm what did I do wrong now I need to fix what I did wrong I need to be overly attentive I need to be doing this I need to be doing that like it it just is such a shitty experience it really is and like um i think it's also because this this sucks to say but i don't think that a lot of men are able to see women as whole people at least not right away yeah not a lot of them can't and make space for who someone actually is versus what their idea of them is yeah yeah I mean I experienced this with no name like because he he had followed me before I knew who he was and then on our second date he was like he said something along the lines of like like you have such a like I didn't expect you to have such a

tender side and in the moment I was like oh my god I feel so seen and it was like this like romantic moment looking back on it it's like what the fuck what the fuck like did you did you think that just because i'm like this silly goofy girl exactly yeah exactly and it's like he wasn't able to see me as a whole person do you think he was like manic pixie dreamifying you yeah oh he wanted you to be the manic manic pixie dream girl yeah and then when you had feelings he was like i need to go find someone emotionally unavailable yeah probably but it's like you know in a lot of ways like we all as humans project what we think somebody is on them just naturally and so that's not like to fault people that do that but like the the disappointment and like the projecting

when that person doesn't like live up to the expectation that you had for who you thought that they were is when it becomes a problem which then ties it back to the jonah hill thing of like you liked this person for being who they are and now it's a problem for you yeah and so then what do you want yeah right like what do you want me to do you want to be a completely because of this yeah she literally is a cool fucking girl yeah and now you don't want her to be right yeah and then what yeah what happens when she just does everything you want you won't like that i don't know it's just it's just this like self-fulfilling prophecy of like disappointment and i don't know what the right word is poop yeah disappointment and fart sound

that was a good fart sound we both farted yeah or well we both made a fart sound yeah girls don't fart though i fart yeah i fart too i fart hard i like my farts don't always make a noise but i like when it does because sometimes it scares my cats and i think that's really funny one of them was sitting on my lap while i was working earlier and i farted and they were like what the fuck was that and i they don't do it when mr liz farts he farts all the time so loudly maybe that's why probably maybe yeah I should expect it to I'm you know what I'm just gonna say this he farts so much he is just full of farts and they smell oh no oh bad no and sometimes it's like unbearable and I just want to know like what is happening in his body that

his farts smell so bad and that he's just like farting all the time maybe he needs a colonoscopy maybe yeah i'm like do you are you eating enough fiber like he eats well does he shit every day yeah so farts should not smell so rancid every time it's and it's especially at night like if i do so i do he goes to bed first because he likes when i tuck him in so men are if we're like if we're like oh we're gonna go to bed he he bolts he beelines for my bathroom so he can do his little bedtime routine first because he likes to lay in bed and then he knows i'm gonna i'm gonna come in and i'm gonna do my skincare routine and then i'm gonna come in and i'm gonna tuck him in and he gets so excited his feet hang over the bed because he's tall and they tap up and down

he's like the charlie and the chocolate factory grandparents he gets so excited but the image of such a large man wanting to be tucked in is so pure he he loves to be like he's like buddy the elf yeah i love that so then but then i'll come in and he'll just have farted up the whole room hotbox the room with farts and sometimes it's like not a major fart you know it's just like oh this will clear out in a second but some of them hang around some of them no some he will be chronically farting and like my room will smell unbearable i'll have to cut i'm like what were you what have you been eating do you need to go to the hospital so then i'll have to light a few matches in the bedroom and he's like i'm sorry i'm like we ate the same thing frank and i are not

in a fart positive relationship yet he wants to be just need a brit has he farted in front of you um i'm like an accident you know what i mean you need to start farting in front of each other on purpose i know that see that's what we need to do my issue is that like it's like one of the first things mr liz ever did we are such like and i'm this this feels very like um like juvenile for me to look at it this way but like we're both such like sexy people in each other's minds that i'm worried that when we start showing that we have human bodily functions that it's going to be like like we've crossed over into being like bros which i know is not the truth because i've been in fart positive relationships yeah but there's something

about it i'm just like i can't do it well you know what my ex would like get so upset when i would fart oh you see that's enough i don't like that like don't you fart and he's like well i go into the bathroom and i'm like i don't know what to tell you i fart and i have bad anxiety right now because you make me so miserable and that's why i'm farting yeah you're you're my being making me terror fart so bad you're emotional beans no but seriously he would like get upset that i would fart really that's kind of fucked it's stupid yeah that's dumb so and you know what i don't know how he even has kids now because so he has two daughters and i'm like how are you cleaning diapers now yeah it's truly what are you gonna do when your your daughters are for sure farting

yeah and also like what happened when your wife gave birth were you like oh disgusting yeah maybe because you shit when you when you give birth unless they hook you up to that uh it's not a catheter is it it's something like that yeah they they hook you up to like a catheter in your butt uh both your bladder and your uh colon and they just suck the shit out of you yeah so you don't shit and pee when you give birth and so you don't shit and piss everywhere while you are pushing a baby out of you there are butt catheters yeah i don't know what the right word is though i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure they don't just let you shit on the table it is an option though

like i'm floored yeah the things that you do to your body i want a butt catheter god i already no with how my IBS is I mean that's what happens when you have Crohn's speaking okay get the bag speaking of yeah that's true colostomy that's a long word um but speaking of not being fart positive I have been having the best shits at Frank's house that is lovely and because I know that it's important to you when you have a good bowel movement oh my god the middle of the night last time i slept over there i woke up at like four in the morning and had the most life-changing shit and then like two days ago changing about it it was like i didn't feel usually before i shit i feel ill you know like the ibs like yeah because you have ibsc yeah uh when i feel ill as

a kid and i would get constipated i would feel horrible yeah i feel like i was gonna throw up exactly it's like nauseating I would shake yeah I would I shake and then after I shit I'm like so drained and like just yeah it sucks it blows yeah anyway but this was not one of those probably because it was the middle of the night so I could go just right back to sleep but it was such a fulfilling poop and then two days ago had another remarkable shit I was like I have to poop and then I was in the bathroom for like 20 minutes and I was texting him while I was in the bathroom like I hope you don't need this yeah I hope you don't need the bathroom because this is a life-changing moment for me and I think that that bodes well for like my comfort in his zone yeah you know

what I mean I think so maybe farting's next well you guys are obviously in a poop positive relationship and I think that is a great place to start I think so too we do talk a lot about shitting yeah yeah it's it's it's unavoidable you know it's just human stuff yeah my my uh bathroom experiences are often an emergency yeah do you have IBSD yes and I was thinking about it I was like hmm maybe I should like do something about this and like get some allergy tests done yeah so it's not a constant emergency yeah I've been there for a couple of those yeah it happened like chronically with you i know like three times in a row yeah i like to think it's because you're comfortable around me my body freaks out when i get closer to my own bathroom oh yeah it's like

my body's like we're close and i'm like come on just pretend we're not we need to hold this shit i cannot shit my pants in front of my door there's a psych term for that there's a thing with addicts where like um if you like shoot up in bathroom stalls like whenever you're in a bathroom stall you like jones for your drug like that's like a thing that we learn in psychology that's crazy so i bet your body literally picks up yeah they're like this is the best bathroom to shit in yeah it has all my things it has my stool i love that yeah hell yeah squatty potty all day i need to buy one i have an unfoldable i have a little foldable stool yeah right in my bathroom yeah because sometimes walking into a bathroom and seeing a squatty potty can be a little aggressive

because the plastic squatty potties are ugly i'll say it it is a very vulnerable thing to see a squatty potty in someone's bathroom so i just kind of feel like if you're gonna have a first of all have a squatty potty lovely they're life-changing they really are i was having stomach issues and i like was reading about things you can do and it's like try using a stool and propping your feet up because that is how your body is designed to poop is to squat yeah so sitting on a toilet is not that's why like sometimes you can feel so constipated i bet a squatty potty would be life-changing for you it probably would once i started using a stool it just flowed right through me it was amazing i mean i have things that i could really like use as like a just just try

like an impromptu i do it impromptu regularly like if there's a little trash can and that's the only thing i can use i prop my feet up on the sides of the trash can and that's not ideal anyways but it's better than nothing my point is if you're gonna have a squatty potty they make some really cute ones and i think that would be worth investing in fuck yeah yeah like some little bamboo squatty potties yeah i love that you know whenever anything like is cute like like a cute planner makes me want to write in my planner exactly potty might make me want to poop it might it might one of my ex's friends at Sasquatch the music festival um she uh she took quite a bit of shrooms and had like a very bad time you told me this but then she like you know pulled it

together and was like in the festival and then shat her pants in the festival and she was like telling everyone about it but it like yeah she was like I shit my pants I gotta go back to the campground and like you could smell it she smelled like a baby yeah it smells the same no matter the my pants yeah i'm so quirky all the quirky girls shit their pants i'm not like other girls i shit my pants all right should we wrap it up yeah we've been we've been all over talking about poop for at least like 15 minutes i wouldn't have it any other way i'm so happy you're back me too please stop leaving i missed you i missed you too we look like dudes this feels like something like sims would do

i feel like we're about to be like oh yeah yeah like some like some superhero shit oh that too right yes i don't know yeah no yeah no okay anyway well we love you when you go high i try and go low i'm gonna be honest i'm really milking this because i feel like you're eventually going to want to phase out the end song i don't think i'll ever be able to do that i don't think so either if we if it were up to me we wouldn't do it anymore yeah probably that i want you guys need to let us know if you actually make it that far or if you're just like i can't listen yeah right when it's the song starts it's like bye yeah please tell i never listened to any outro so i don't blame you but let us know if you listen to us if there

were outros as beautiful as ours i would listen but anyway bye