The Hoely Hour - E158 VonBitch with Sam_D0ll

Episode Date: October 20, 2023

Our special guest this week is the iconic TikTok pop culture commentator, Sam_D0ll. If you don't know her, yes you do. Liz, Amelia, and Sam talk about their ideal Revenge Dress looks, what we wish we knew in our 20s, and who Drake is fucking (which is everyone, apparently). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

he like if you're in toronto like like okay i've everyone's fuck drake you know someone that's fuck drake i would say welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia samson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia samson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at LizBallSoHard. You can also watch us on YouTube or listen ad-free on Patreon at patreon.com slash theholyhour. Check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holyhourpodcast at gmail.com. I found these at PCC, Pulp Culture, hard-pressed juice so it's and they have like fun little like this one has yerba mate sea salt and lion's mane

and it's the play one so there's a relaxed one oh my god it's like a sativa a sativa oh it is yeah of like bougie beverages they were pretty cheap like an american thing you guys have like the craziest drinks like i'm so jealous we just have red bull i it might i mean it might be an american thing i just found these anytime there's like a interesting looking can at pcc which is this like bougie overpriced uh pacific northwest grocery store i'm like i just i have to buy it because i need i need to try it and who doesn't want to try something that has botanical adaptogens and alcohol no i always look for botanical adaptogens in all of my drinks wait it's an alcoholic drink it's not just like a silly botanical drink 4.9 percent and it does

it tastes kind of like kombucha oh 100 calories this is not sponsored every can is 100 calories 20 servings no um okay the full can is allegedly i mean i know i told you this via voice note earlier and we're still going to introduce you we're just already like jumping into it but um when i dated the guy that was in toronto whenever he would please explain oh girl that's a whole it's a whole tale but he was like here he it's a very long story he's oh is he still here now sorry yeah he's canadian oh yeah one of my kinds but he was always like mind blown when he would come to the grocery stores here because apparently america has like a gazillion more options than canada he was like yeah we have garbage here it's what's wild why is that

oh just because you know canada is like america with like way less shit that's that's our whole shtick we've got like nothing i think to be fair i think some of it is better regulated maybe man i don't know like like some stuff like now when i was a kid it was like you had to go to the states to do anything like there was no Abercrombie there was no Victoria's Secret there was no like there's no Forever 21 no six stores you'd have to actually get stuff from the states and now like we have everything here and also it's a global village we're online right we're all online right ladies so I don't know yeah yeah but yeah perhaps too much but food wise yeah you guys literally squash us like the options of chips when I go to the U.S. I'm like this is mental

like there's so many options of chips you come here there's still some options but not that many not that many ladies y'all have like ketchup chips so that's like oh yeah we got the worst fucking flavor I like love when people are like oh I can't wait to get back to Canada to have some ketchup chips I'm like are you okay literally trash um all I mean you have poutine everywhere and then tim hortons yes yes okay tim hortons i do love tim hortons actually does slap that like really does slap but like i mean other than that like yeah for food i i gotta come south of the border like for like cool shopping and like neat gizmos i gotta be in the u.s but for like you know just like general lackadaisical living canada's great it's great up here that sounds

like bliss honestly that was the pitch yeah i'm sold yeah tim tim hortons oh yeah i'm coming up okay i want to intro you because i feel like you and i we could we could all just like really just keep going get into it real quick but we are so excited and so lucky to have one of both of our favorite tiktok creators on the podcast today we have sam doll um just the best like story to i swear sam i could just like sit and watch your videos and just listen to you tell stories for hours i'm just like i want her to tell me stories when i fall asleep at night it's like oh that's what mr liz and i that's literally what we did last night i i made him watch a bunch of your time i die i was like she's gonna be on the podcast tomorrow like i was

listening to this podcast we have to protect his identity like i literally the first time i heard your podcast i was like who the fuck is she talking about like i actually didn't i was like like what is this just like an alternate version i thought maybe it was like a cat or like a pet he might as well be that's like mr that actually would be so funny i should i should name my next pet mr liz um i wonder what he would think of that he'd probably love it that would actually be i thought that was just like an epic thing you did it was just like a boy like cat and you were like i'm gonna name it mr liz i don't know i do have a cat named grandpa so so you already do weird shit like that are you guys both from seattle yeah no well so i've

been here for 18 years so i feel like i'm from here but i was in philadelphia before so east coast oh addy oh cute cute wait wait you moved here because your parents yeah my dad got a job bit microsoft so we got shipped out here just like you know everyone else before amazon rolled in so and then i stayed and everybody else left so i'm out here solo now yeah well liz is my family oh well that's great where but where did your actual family go my parents moved to florida my my brother never came out here he stayed in pennsylvania but my parents are are in florida now sorry liz where are you from i'm from vegas yeah i'm from las vegas i'm like one of three people who are from there you and fucking tana mojo the other three yeah it's me

tana mojo and my brother and the killers that's those are the only people from vegas yeah and syphilis and syphilis i the most important i would just like to tell you now i know you grew up there so you probably are like fuck you vegas is my favorite place in the world in the world it's fun when you're over 21 for sure oh yeah and then when you work on this strip you're like did you work on the strip because the people who live there i worked at the mall on the strip she met carrot top work whoa i did i met carrot top um he definitely skipped leg day and then he flirted with one of my employees one of my male employees oh so carrot and then i was like i think carrot top is hitting on you yeah i think he is oh you know or at least bye there's something

yeah everybody's got something who isn't a little gay it's it's 2020 exactly exactly the spectrum is wide open everyone's a little gay yeah so that was the most interesting thing that happened oh i actually worked at abercrombie that was the most thrilling thing about working at abercrombie that honestly while i was there anyway honestly i would have been just so jealous of your life because you had access to an abercrombie at that time like and a discount yeah and a discount i was like watching like girls with jean skirts everywhere and they'd be like yeah i just got back from New York I was at Abercrombie and I'd be like okay like that's the only place to go the one where there's like no sales and there's like all the models in front yeah horrible my

mom my mom would always be like do you want a picture with them and I was like absolutely mortifying I yeah I'm literally 13 and I am still wearing a training bra no thank you wait take me to wet seal i gotta go to wet seal and maybe like steve i need to go to wet seal buy a hot pink shirt with some holographic writing on it steve madden i don't know what it said carried von dutch and i remember like i went shopping in florida and i got a shirt that said von bitch and it was like a black shirt with pink font it's so fucking cool i was 12 i brought it home and my parents were like you must return that and i'm like why they're like i just don't know where you're gonna wear it you're 12 and now like in retrospect i'm like honey imagine i had

that shirt uh vintage camp 12 year old yes camp yes camp they were not thinking von bitch von bitch i had a shirt from hollister that said wtf and they're like what does that mean and then i was like it means what the fuck and then they were like no you cannot have this and then they hid it from me and then i'd find it oh so you gotta keep it every time i still was not allowed to wear it i think they eventually donated it which is traumatizing yeah yeah well it made some girl very happy or i was about to say whoever whoever owns that shirt now is really i i hope they're still wearing it i hope someone made it into like a little crop top beautiful that was when like laguna beach was a thing too so they had like the current the

team kristin team lauren shirts did you ever see those i never watched laguna beach weirdly that was just like i i only watched it a little i was my entire myspace i like html it out to be laguna beach themed i was like i ride or die i wanted to be kristin so bad i like started like talking like her okay i'm a kristin girly too i just re-watched all of it everyone loved lc and i just i don't know i'm just i'm just no i found her boring the lc chick with lauren conrad like i was just like this chick's yeah the shit out of me like i don't give a fuck about your fashion line man yeah seriously she's and she's very much like the girl that's friends with your boyfriend and you're like bad vibes don't need that steven is so mad bad bad vibes is laguna

beach the same as the hills or is it different is it the same the hills was the same yeah the hills was like the like once they graduated they followed lauren conrad like to her internship where she was like becoming a fashion designer and that was the hills is the hills also it's like the original emily in paris right and who had the jenner's the which one had the jenner's like brody jenner wasn't he wasn't he on oh yeah he dated yeah he dated um i think audriana on the hills yes okay sam you didn't watch but you're up to speed i forgot in touch magazine was out yeah oh hard heard heard heard yeah they were all over that oh yeah i was like in touch tiger b j14 i was reading i wasn't watching but i was reading i was peeping

and that's the only way we would get we could get our tea back yeah that's also why girls looked ugly like it's also why girls like weren't hot like the way teenagers now are like creepishly hot i'm like access to anything yeah dude we've talked about this like the death of the tween era like there's no there's no tween phase for kids anymore i wonder if that's like you're a kid and then you're a woman definitely not cool to be like a woman right away but like being a tween fucking sucked like i don't think it made a difference because i feel like i i just made a tiktok about how like girls hated grade seven and grade eight and boys randomly loved it and I'm like I think the reason girls hate it is because like it's it is the tween era but like

you are either way the expectation for you to be sexualized is there so it doesn't really matter if the tween era exists or not you just feel like a fucking kid loser teeny bopper and you're like I how do I become an adult now so I feel like kids now just gotta gotta bypass that and actually a bunch of gen z's were commenting being like oh this was me but like in grade five I'm like yeah because you don't get a tween era you just are a kid feeling like you want to be an adult and then you just you bypass that whole thing you get on youtube and you look up how to do a smoky eye i get chirped every time i do my makeup exactly what's with these small doll hands everyone has and like with such dexterity i'm like i've never been able to draw a straight line in my life like

why does everybody an artist right we need you like in like we need them in like the or you know what I mean we need those steady hands like doing surgery I do I don't have that I have like you know like a caffeine addiction and take a lot of Adderall so I'm like there's there's just no hope for me with yeah I'm constantly it's amazing what people are able to do now this is a good segue into Liz you had like a list of questions for Sam that you sent me yeah um and I feel like this conversation is like I think this is like a good yeah intro um I'll start with the fun one because actually I think maybe all of them are fun in a different way sorry I just want to shout out Amelia saying it's amazing what people are able to do now and she was just talking about hands

just hands being hands but it's amazing what people are able to do now this new generation of people using their hands it's truly incredible they all look like they're like 30 years old at 15 that is some incredible artistry in my opinion oh true true okay you know what I think that's also why I think that's why like Gen Z is so much like uh they're like they're like you're 30 you don't even look 30 and I'm like that's because you've looked 30 since you were 15 and not in a bad way like we look like we're the same age now you don't have this like phase where you're trying to figure it out and then you're still kind of trying to figure it out in your 20s like we still didn't have tiktok like mid-20s and then I was just trying to copy what other people were doing

because I was like that looks cute on them and I don't know what I'm doing yeah yeah I know I don't know I was just like I just stuck to the basics I'm like tits out lower eyeliner I'm like what like I don't know what else to do the lower eyeliner yeah it's a school dance it's out cammy I never put top eyeliner on I only ever did bottom and like in hindsight like I don't don't oh no mascara everybody like nobody stopped just bald eyelashes no one stopped any of us that's why we have a podcast now and a lot of prozac oh yeah i was gonna say like the shaky hands for me was from when i was on ciprolex but now i'm on zoloft and smooth sailing babe i could

fucking hell yeah i could knit i could do macrame with these hands these hands work however uh i don't know how to do makeup and i don't really give a fuck i've been doing it for 30 years and like for some gen z to come on my live and be like bitch what are you gonna do about that redness around your nose i'm like nothing nothing literally i i love that they want us to care so much and we don't couldn't pay me to care well because when you're working full time for more than like three years you're just like I don't even care anymore who has the time who has the time to contour not I said the fly oh my god I know some people take like two hours on their makeup which is again impressive that was me when I was 16 but it's still fine enough to do

like I I it takes me like 20 minutes to do like a full beat you know what I mean I don't know how I ran out of stuff 20 minutes for a full beat 20 minutes for a full beat I think is like that's really quick i that's because i don't know what the fuck i'm doing i think that's skill what the fuck's a beat well you look great beat like you beat your face what are you talking about it means a full face of makeup like glam makeup oh a full beat of course yes okay it takes me like i don't know a minute and a half for a full beat i don't even wow that's funny i'm gonna start using that guys gonna be like guys get ready with me full beat

and you won't even have to pause i won't it'll just it'll roll off the tongue because you taught me a whole minute and a half you taught me i had water in my mouth that whole time i was laughing and i was fighting for my life i do i do wish you had a spit take spit takes are so funny oh okay all right let's let's get to your questions oh man um my first question uh burning question for the whole room um what would your revenge dress be what would it look like wow that is a really good question i feel like my anytime i'm thinking like revenge revenge it's skin tight leather like dominatrix tits up to my fucking neck choker high things and maybe like a cheap ponytail from amazon although this is a fantasy

i could make it expensive if i wanted to so maybe an expensive clip-in ponytail and i'm just i got a whip and i'm just fucking walking around whipping people boys it doesn't matter where you are yeah oh yeah full photo yeah I think that's a great revenge fit and feel yeah I don't even want to go after Sam that's such a good answer I I feel like does it have to be a dress okay I don't think so it's it's the essence it's the essence of a heard heard okay first time in public first time posting oh okay okay that's helpful thank you I'm feeling like some like high-waisted like pleather pants and like a tiny top um like maybe teeny tiny top some under boob under boob a little bit i'm thinking like under boob but

like it's like a cutout you know what i mean so there's like more shirt oh yeah it doesn't stop like a fucking pretty woman you know when she's wearing that like bodysuit and pretty woman that's like a big circle that you see under her tits but it also shows your body like connects yes that's what i'm in um and uh i would have someone do a professional beat like a professional full beat and it would take more than 20 minutes that's my revenge outfit what's yours oh you've done a few like you've done a few boudoir photo shoots you'd be out there in a second you know what that's true yeah you know maybe my revenge fit would just be like a bra and no underwear just yeah just that out I was actually gonna say now that you say

that like I was thinking revenge dress like realistically like after a breakup what's the first thing i post fucking bikini i'm naked like i'm getting naked close to anyway yeah yeah no absolutely yeah no that's it really is true i guess it depends on like the level of revenge we're trying to get you know like yeah what about you liz what's your revenge dress that is well because that that's such a good point like basically fully naked um i think what i would do maybe i do like a carousel but i would want to go for like more of like an ethereal thing oh like you're pure you're pure you're perfect pure angel yeah like a slutty angel that's what i would want to go for slutty angel yeah we gotta throw some

some slut in there some way like i big fan of the under boob um i would just want it to be like i am so much better than you and you'll never have this again yeah i mean that is the goal that's exactly what you want to portray yeah sometimes so the bikini maybe gives too much away because you're like you really can't have this again and so can everybody because i'm posting it but at the same time it's kind of like oh everybody wants a piece of this and you you'll never get this yeah totally and then it's like a signal to yeah oh yeah that you're single archiving they'll look at it and they're like where are the boyfriend posts are the boyfriend posts deleted or archived yes 100 i actually like just found out um one of my

ex-boyfriends got arrested he was drinking and driving and crashed into a car and then tried to flee the scene the woman in the other car is in critical condition and then when he tried to flee the scene he crashed into a palm tree and then tried to flee on foot and then a pedestrian was watching this whole thing and followed him until the cops got him and then when they arrested him he they they had to restrain him because he wouldn't like sit still and was like uh for like a blood draw because i think you probably have to do that i don't know if you have to do that for every like I think if you refuse to do a breathalyzer if they do a blood draw yeah so I'm just guessing I mean he just went from one losing his job and maybe like one charge to like six charges that's

my that's my personal life tea that was juicy tea and that was like the best thing to hear about an ex-boyfriend minus the fact that that grandma's in critical condition but everything else about that love it love to hear it bye asshole I was like I was convinced for a month maybe that I was gonna marry him so thank god that didn't happen how long did you date him for not long at all like eight months maybe I was like 25 yeah so yeah you're 25 and you're like I can marry anybody when I was when I was 25 I was like I'm quite literally never getting married like fuck marriage fuck the institution now you're I think this is now you're engaged yeah no I'm engaged I've been with my boyfriend for five years like actually how and I like that you call me boyfriend

and not your fiance oh yeah I I never I never use the word fiance I find it I think it's just hard it doesn't roll off the tongue for me I I just feel like it sounds like I'm like trying to be like am i friends yeah and also like ask me like oh my fiance don't you want to know more about that like when's my wedding and like whatever and it's like i actually don't want to talk about it so i'd rather just call him my boyfriend so you don't no follow-ups please because i don't know that people do really do that it's like they say like fiance and like a sing-song voice my fiance yeah that's so true and then they do it when they say my husband for like the first like couple of years my husband oh my god oh my god and it's always like oh my husband yeah

yeah they're like happy about it like you know like oh my god i pulled it off husband pulling off marriage in 2023 so literally the cringiest shit in the world is getting married and I'm doing it I was gonna say it's admirable because it seems so difficult it's like you found someone who is worth it in this in this economy truly fascinating it's yeah but you know what the problem is the men made the woman nuts too oh yeah yeah like I'm fucked because I've dated so many loser men so it's like the blind chasing the blind it's like it's not easy for anyone and you met you met your boyfriend on a dating app right yeah which is why I fucking I show my boyfriend your shit all the time okay you know I'm obsessed with when you do the emojis when you act

out the emojis I replay that 400 times it makes me laugh so hard I don't know that's like my sense of humor because it's stupid I know it's those things that I like originally I like wanted to cut that out of the video when I was editing it like the first time that I did it and people like really clung on to it it's I love I love that I've like found my people on this platform you really have you absolutely have like I think I started following you like probably before you started doing that but then when you started doing that I was like this is this is art can I ask what um what drew you to his profile or like what made you think like I'm gonna go out yeah it's dark actually um oh I love not really it's not

like super dark but it's like um I only dated one kind of guy forever and it was redheads I loved redheads I love gingers with beards that was my thing mixologist with a beard ginger with a beard piece of shit with a beard motorcycle speaking amelia's language yeah i just loved pieces of garbage that looks kind of like white trash crawled out of a well whatever that was my so i met a guy at my work actually who i met him and i was like attracted to him at my work and he looked like joe like whispering like you're gonna post this but anyway you're allowed to post this and um i cut out his name but he had a girlfriend the guy at my work so i was like whoa i'm capable and he was euro too okay so i'm greek so then i started thinking whoa maybe i just need to like

fucking get down with a euro guy because before that i was like i'm never dating a greek i'm never dating an italian like i'm out on this shit like i just want a nice good manja cake boy i see joe and by see joe i mean there were just pictures of 10 guys it was all group photos so i didn't even know which one was just looked like a bunch of euro dudes at a park i was like yep but actually why i swiped was because um he one of the prompts was rate these three shows and it was bojack horseman big mouth and the simpsons and i was i'm obsessed with all three of those shows and i had written articles on them for a weed magazine so i literally just responded in all caps like yo uh it's bojack then big mouth then the simpsons and then i sent him all my articles and then i just

went to sleep because i was a nighttime tinder user hinge user and then i woke up in the morning and he was like yo sorry it took me so long to respond like i read your articles those are good and i was like suck it for that and i went over to his house and the rest is history i didn't think i'd marry the guy that's for sure it's a beautiful love story but yeah it it really is an anticlimactic love story because it's really like it's really just like nothing ever went wrong that's all that happened like most of my relationships were like so romantic like so fucked up like i'll die without you like fucking crazy energy and joe like it was never like that it was like we just started chilling and then it was silly and we just like we actually just started chilling and never broke

up and now we're getting married like there wasn't even like in a dramatic like i fucking love you i die without you it's like we're just still chilling like that's all that i like that more i think i like that more because it's just like everyone is expecting like some roller coaster romance story but in practice that's not sustainable and you think there's always going to be a thrill or something and like i i don't know i don't want that anymore maybe when i was like in my early 20s um and then also you know as a teenager but the older i get the more i'm like the piece is just like we were talking about we were talking about this last week like the parallel play of just like existing next to each other is like just like the fucking best

thing ever but like we don't get that in the media when we're growing up like we see people like you know like screaming at each other in the rain and it's like that's what love is and I will accept nothing less but then you find like a peaceful person to be with and it's like oh this is actually my jam this is dope they just like get your sense of humor yeah and it's funny I guess because like a love story is not interesting if it's not tumultuous like that like in terms of media but then I think about like the best couples on tv and I'm like they're always just like couples that are like laughing together and you're just like oh yeah like I used to watch this sitcom called Roseanne I don't know if you've ever watched it and Roseanne and her

fucking husband who was John Goodman they just sat around their house and like got fat and like chilled and they were like goals tv couple and we watched 10 season of seasons of them like they didn't ever fight they were just like silly times silly times with you they're like we're in this together yeah until she took ambien and then made a bunch of racist tweets and then got fired from her show but before that before that i was like that was a wild time that roseanne i do have two other questions that i feel like are relevant and i'll ask you both and you can just kind of like answer uh because i think they go together um what advice do you wish you had in your 20s and what's the most important thing you've learned oh good questions good questions you

came up with these yourself use that use that noggin that pretty little face pretty little brain it was really hard i think the advice i wish i had in my 20s was that like your 20s really don't fucking they're they're for exactly what you're doing like i felt like i was like always against the clock and it's like no no this is it babe like this is what you're doing this decade you're not making it you're not getting to a place like this decade is specifically for getting to somewhere that you will reach in your 30s or 40s that's just fucking life now so like chill the hell out like it's not that deep and also what I like about now is that I I love being 30s like I love it me too I just I love I love saying it I love being like I'm 30 I don't like

when you like the authority you feel when you stand by a position or a what's the word what am I trying to say opinion or whatever like the authority you feel to be like I don't do that like yes when they offer me shots now I'm like no they're like no take a shot I don't do shots honey I'm 30 I don't do that I don't even fucking think twice about looking like a pussy to you I don't care I there's things I do and don't do and I have full authority when I say them and that's what i like best about my 30s is nice it's so true it's like i think about like whenever i'm at the bars now if it's like 10 30 i'm like all right that's it for me i'm 30 i don't do this anymore like i used to like i would stay out until 3 a.m like on purpose in my 20s going out started

at 10 that was early like and now it's like you know i'm like i lived it and now i'm 30 so i'm gonna go home and order mcdonald's and chill with my cat and knit okay so last night i was at the kim petras concert and i got like a suite because i work at the arena here like so whatever anyway we get like little deals and so i got a suite so me and my friend go we're like in this full suite by ourselves we roll in at 9 30 at 10 30 we're like let's just leave beat the crowd and we were like it was such a different concert experience like usually i'd be like in the pit getting bruised like close as possible line up early line up all day to be at the front of the pit I just rolled into this private suite I was so far away I was so removed I felt like a fucking

like like British I was like tea like I was just like oh okay let's go just like is this sad or is it happy like I don't know and then I was like it's actually happy like I just can do a concert however I want and I don't feel FOMO I just I just left bye that's kind of how I felt when Amelia and I went to it's called Capitol Hill Block Party and it's just like a music festival here and like we weren't in a rush to like roll in early and we could leave whenever we wanted and it was okay if you didn't see a performance it's just like oh my god it was it was very nice yeah and it wasn't as hot as it was last year that's a great question I think Rico Nasty was this year oh yeah rego nasty was one of the headliners um i'm trying to remember the other

headliners yeah moona um denzel curry which was my numero sophie tucker was one of my god love yeah um oh so it's more like like electronic yeah it's a mix this year it was electronic but um yeah they they try to get like a good a good even variety yeah i think this year was definitely way more electronic than the year before yeah i just assumed it would be like oh god like just stereotyping seattle so hard i'm like they have electronic music there i thought you guys just all like wore flannel and like cut down trees yeah yeah wear all black stay inside i mean we also do that just listening to niche indie bands yeah yeah either way i need to come there i like yes you do come to seattle you should definitely come in the summer because it's the best in the

summer the summer makes you forget how much the winter sucks does it snow there or does it just rain sometimes it snows and seattle is entirely unprepared for it um because you're a west coast yeah there's a there was a huge ice storm like last year and luckily i had just missed it amelia almost didn't even make it to see her family for christmas and there was like videos of people just like flailing around on the ice cars crashing into parked cars cars sliding down hills like taking out like mailboxes and garbage cans on their way yeah it was like thank god i have a parking spot like yeah oh my god austin my friend lives in austin two years ago they had a nice storm and she's like oh my god like all the infrastructure like the pipes all

froze like all the pipes burst when they did get warm like you couldn't get food you couldn't get anything i'm like this is so funny like not funny like haha fuck you guys but it's just like crazy to watch snow take out a city like oh yeah oh yeah yeah when you're not prepared you're like this is like a few years in a row now we should like have some things prepared for this like get some salt trucks you know what i mean like yeah you know what i mean elect me for mayor i'll get us some salt trucks i want to be aware of the time because i know that it's late where you are i had one question for you um that is you know it could either be really quick or it could be a whole discussion but i wanted to play a little game oh well it's it's like kind of tiktok themed because

i feel like this was like big on the talk for a while where um it's like fuck mary kill okay where i read them one by one you don't know who's coming next and then you can't change your answer oh oh oh i have seen the children do this yes but instead of that i made my own version called dinner dinner party threesome or prison it's who you would rather genius have a dinner party with have a threesome with or um just like sent to jail you just don't need to deal with them at all all right i have a question i have a clarifying question even though i'm not answering any of these um uh for the dinner party is it you would host a dinner party with them or you would want them attending your dinner party you would just

you would be out of you would just be with them you'd be at okay yeah having dinner with them in some capacity you have to dine with them yeah okay so you're either dining with them having sex with them or sending them to jail sorry we're not having sex with them we're having a threesome with them is it them in another uh person of my choosing or is it them in one of their pals so thank you for asking because i'm doing couples celebrity couples love it okay this all right now are you ready yeah so you're ready for this jelly oh i'm not killing anyone actually you're not killing anyone you're sending two people to jail yeah you know it could be the death sentence sure okay depending on the couple maybe heard heard

heard okay are you ready okay i'm scared first couple first couple ariana grande and ethan slater your take on them was my favorite take on the entire internet i really cannot imagine having sex with that dude even her i would snap her like a fucking toothpick that chick that chick is like frail i can't fuck either of them what are the other options i i jail and dinner you know send them to jail or have dinner with them those are the options obviously um the thing is is there going to be someone more interesting that comes up to have dinner with because i don't really give a shit about ariana grande so i'm gonna say send that chick to jail and her okay little husband too homewrecking bastard like what am i even gonna talk to them

about like hey you're fucking cool play i love spongebob squarepants like okay good answer i feel good about is your boyfriend single that's my ariana grande impression sweater yeah yeah she drives me nuts oh man okay so you have you've answered jail you have threesome and uh dinner party left great so all right hopefully they're tolerable prince harry and megan markel okay dinner because there's no way i'm fucking either of them and i would love to get inside that guy's brain mostly just to see if he's got more than one brain cell up there heard okay that's the dumbest motherfucker i've ever heard of or seen and she i always get

railed for fucking dragging her but that chick's got mean girl energy and she's fucked that's my opinion but every time I say that someone calls me racist I'm like oh sorry I just think she's a bitch like I actually just think she's a bitch I don't know what to tell you yeah it kind of feels racist to think that it would be racist yeah you know what I mean like what do you just feel yeah like what do you mean it sounds racist it's it feels she she does feel very like rehearsed and fakey and like i really thought that was gonna like fall away once they weren't royals anymore but she just is that way no no she's she's a bitch like it's okay to not like people yeah you know not you don't have to like everybody i don't and you know what i also

talked about jada pickett a while ago and then everybody was like you can't speak for the black woman and i was like okay sorry i'll never so that's why i got like a bunch of comments recently being like say something about the jada pickett smith and will smith thing and i'm like no it's literally not worth it for me like i don't even want the backlash of talking about her interestingly enough that was the third couple oh so i gotta fuck them yeah yeah you're fine you know what get this get this i'll do that happily you know why because there's absolutely no way i could have fucked ariana and ethan slater there's that would be no way dry saltine sex for sure that would be like it was ariana grande and ethan slater for sure

forget it i'd be fucking like no i'd rather die than do that and also i'll fuck will smith like sure your wife can be there i definitely think that would i think that would be the most interesting and satisfying absolutely of the options i completely agree totally i think i would have picked up if they were first yeah i mean yeah totally it would be an interesting dynamic there would be some kind of like power struggle going on in the bedroom and i feel like it would be like kind of shakespearean totally totally that was a really good impression you just did there of shakespearean and i feel like with that face and i feel like it's giving renaissance you know what i feel like jada she's freaky you know she's a freaky chick she's oh

Like, Meghan Markle isn't freaky to me. Like, Jada's, like, a freak. I'm like, you know what? You might be good in bed, too. But Meghan Markle, I'm like, no, sorry. She's catty. I don't want to have a cat fight in the sack. Yeah.

She'd just make you watch. Can't even participate. No, she'd make him watch. She'd make Harry watch. He's her bitch. He's her bitch. She used to. So it's so funny because, like, okay, she filmed Suits in Toronto, right?

And that was, like, a huge deal. that she like was it was so funny because i was like it's like there's like one tv show that comes out of toronto and it's like suits they're like oh did you hear they're filming suits down the street i'm like this is the epitome of being canadian famous like so sad anyway oh yeah they're filming an episode of suits cool and her rental house when she was living in toronto was right across the street from this mexican restaurant i worked at and it was so annoying because when she started dating prince harry there'd be the whole street would be like security and it's just like a random street in toronto for canadian listeners it was dupont it's like

nothing street it's not even like a main street it's just like there's a mexican restaurant and some houses and when people would like go visit when i guess when prince harry would be there like the street i couldn't even get into work it was like ridiculous and like no one would come there street was blocked off like so i so i had a hatred for her long before this long before i even thought she'd become duchess those businesses got compensated for all the lost customers probably not no definitely not like it was a shit show and i was like why does this matter like there's like people outside the restaurant all the time like to see like megan markle i'm like actually who is that they're like you know from canada's best show from suits yeah and dealer

no deal she was a dealer no no deal girl that was her yeah she did the yes and she and she talked shit about that oh she like talked shit about that yeah she was like she was like i I like you know I was just like an object on that show and then everybody like to the show's defense was like yeah what do you think you were getting yourself into exactly first of all you were a model so that was like when you were modeling and then you got hired to model on a tv show and then like later since she's a fucking professional victim about everything and by the way I hate the royal family I have I have zero sympathy and give zero fucks about the royal family i'm just saying separately this chick has like she just has a problem with everything and

most people like that to me are just like that's you're the problem but anyway the deal or no deal looking for something to have a problem with yeah exactly and yeah that's like all of twitter yeah that's so true that is really all of twitter it's also like whenever like anybody people like stop talking about like a controversial figure they have to do something controversial like Doja Cat like every five minutes like whenever like the buzz dies down about Doja she's like oh I gotta wear a shirt with like a Nazi on it so that I so that people get mad again you know like I know I feel like that's kind of a Meghan Markle thing oh yeah well Meghan Markle actually has nothing else because like what you fucked up you shot the bed with your Netflix deal you shot

the bed with your Spotify podcast deal you had to record like six episodes and you like didn't do it or whatever it was like she couldn't she's not talented so like that's the problem at least with doja cat she has no reason to do that because doja cat is fire so good love her totally love her i agree there's no reason i'm realizing how much i do not even know about megan markle i've like never really cared it's kind of like the kardashians i have no idea what the fuck is going on with them ever and it's not like i don't like them i just like i i have other things what are what are you paying attention to what ear to the streets do you have what are the streets that your ear is such a good question because I also kind of

don't really care about Taylor Swift and uh the football guy what's his name Travis Kelsey I can answer this for you Liz oh yeah yeah tell me tell me Liz is my go-to for like all like internet drama that's going on like I feel like like YouTubers like like people on TikTok she'll like she'll be like did you hear about this like the scandal that's like you always hear about things before i do liz so i feel like oh yeah like um uh oh my god mascara gate london and london and olivia oh yeah yeah i know some of like the lesbian tiktok drama i'm like really thankful to be on lesbian tiktok um and there's also the uh the fucking guy who worked at the furniture thing do you remember oh yeah west elm yeah west elm yes yes on the forefront of that

i feel like i caught like the the like edge of west elm caleb but i i don't know who the hell olivia and who um olivia and london london with two u's l-u-n-d-u-n yes there are two beautiful lesbians who live in the south and um they just got married on a plantation first of all what and then i didn't know that yeah or it's like either a plantation or plantation adjacent it's not great it's not a good look and then like the day after they get married someone leaks like all of these old tweets of both of them saying the n-word oh and then and then they're getting married on this like plantation and then i was i was just like i'm consuming like pr about it i watched this like pr agent who was like whoever released this usually

the people i'm in like the room with know who said this about them or who like released this information or they have an idea so it was very calculated because they knew oh everyone's gonna be looking at this lesbian couple in the south because like first of all who hated this lesbian crazy um well one of them is apparently a chronic like pathological liar and cheater so maybe one of her scorned exes is it london um it's olivia yeah olivia's the no no it's london let me just look these girls off quickly one's blonde it's the one with the dark hair i think that's london i feel like no i think it's london i don't know you're right you're right i keep mixing them up yeah olivia olivia and london did you say london is spelt with like a u somewhere

yeah l-u-n-d-u-n are you serious that is so stupid why do people do that the worst yeah that's the worst this is her name spelled the worst and then she is the worst oh my god okay so if you watch them prior oh my god oh my god this is not i don't like what i see yeah so i didn't expect that for some reason like i expected like cool lesbians yeah no they're like they're like mormon they're giving like mormon girl energy yeah they're giving like god um uh john and kate plus eight like kate two lesbian kates yeah you know what i mean absolutely oh yes two lesbian kate kate gosling gosling a gaggle a gaggle of goslings a gaggle of gay goslings that's so funny i feel like i feel

like i'm trying to think of like what like i definitely have my ear to the streets for the kardashians but i also randomly love like tiktok drama like old tiktokers like jeffree star i'm like what did he do now that fast like i just like i just feel like old that's just and that's just recently i like follow all those like tea spill like you know what i mean like they're like tea spill channels and they just like tell you what's going on with like oh yeah old youtubers and i'm like yeah i love it i think it's because it's a little more like i i love seeing like drama between like tiktokers i guess or like because it's like relatable you know it's it's not like celebrity so well yeah yes yeah and you're just like i'm so glad that this isn't my

life but like i love watching this happen yeah so like couch guy who's couch oh couch guy yes yes yes that was juicy i loved that this guy this girl goes and surprises her boyfriend at university and it went viral because it looks like he was holding another girl's or hid his phone or something it looked like he was holding another girl's hand and then also hid his phone and he was being sus he he seemed so unhappy that she showed up like he pulled i'll have to find it and show it to you emilia no i remember i remember seeing it it's i that was yeah i and she was fighting for her life in those comments to post it after she had no idea obviously she fucking posted it but like it's yeah she didn't post it being like exposing my boyfriend no she was

probably she was like look at how happy surprising my boyfriend when she turns 30 surprised do you think they're still together or do we know we can figure it out really quick let's see i bet you could be like this couch guy he was probably already going to break up with her i just my advice for anyone in their like early 20s is just like break up with your boyfriend in college do not go to college with a boyfriend are they married it says they're still going strong no 23 september 15th 2023 our couch guy and his girlfriend still together after two years and this is it this one this guy this guy noah glenn carter noah glenn carter yeah oh my god yep they're still together god bless them damn let's see how long it lasts oh this guy like did

all the research and like looked for him this is his entire he's a good like spill so she has eight million followers this is what he does he just like answers questions that people have about tiktokers i love that oh and he's got a john 316 in his bio so he you know he's an honest god-fearing man they're always honest what even is john 316 let's see it's like love is patient love is kind right no that's correct you knew that okay jeez louise okay for for god so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son that who's ever whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life uh what the hell does that mean jesus is your savior yeah if you if you believe this as your savior you'll okay just say that man yeah yeah i don't want to read all

that shit that don't make me investigate i feel like i like i feel like oh i feel like i want to like chill with you guys like i feel like this wasn't like enough which is why we know regularly i completely have so many more questions do you want to see okay that's the cn tower okay damn yeah i live so you got like a view yeah you have like a view view damn yeah i'm fucking downtown pound town ladies so if you come down to toronto downtown pound town i'm in the thick of it get your asses up here we'll just hang out i haven't been to toronto yet so crazy we should do it you i think it's like there's a lot of dive bars here i will say a lot of cool bars a lot of good restaurants and like the nightlife is late

which i mean i can run through the six with my woes you absolutely can and you know people have been doing that lately running through the six with their woes yeah come try it out run through the six with your woes you can sit on the edge of the scene tower if you want to and and just like contemplate think about my life yeah yeah about rihanna rihanna okay guys sorry one thing before i fucking leave you i just must say obviously as a torontonian it's my job to like be a little cuck for drake however the thing that pisses me off about him is how how you little bastard you like petty little bitch like first of all why i was pissed when he became friends with chris brown i said to myself drake you don't need to be friends with everybody like i get it you're

friends with everybody you've been falling out with meek mill now you're best friends you have a falling out with chris brown now you're best friends how do you ever fucking become friends with these guys that have disrespected women you love so much like 10 years later you're shitting on rihanna in an album because she didn't want to date you because you're like friends with the guy that beat the shit out of her like fuck you and that was like that was over 10 years ago or something it was a long time ago that they dated yeah and i think dated i because i was like what is their history and i was like reading an article yeah they never like officially dated and then he like gets on stage and is like i've been in love with her since i was 22

like how fucking cringe would that be if you were rihanna and then like he won't get over it and he's pushing 40 sorry and he's like also think that that is like imagine a girl doing that being like oh i've been in love with him since i was 22 and i'm gonna get him one day and then like that he never dates you and then 10 years later you're writing songs about him like you're still mad about it oh my god that's such a good point like only a guy would have the confidence to be like yeah i'm gonna go after the hottest woman in the world and then i'm gonna become friends with her ex and then i'm gonna tell everybody i love her and then when she rejects me i'm gonna be like shocked like yeah what like fuck you he's seriously yeah he's a successful

incel to be honest and i love drake's music but he fucks a lot he fucks a lot of girls i know what that's exciting he like okay he like if you're in toronto like like okay i've everyone's fuck drake you know someone that's fuck drake i would say i'm sure that's the case in like a lot of cities but like yeah definitely here like i know multiple people that have at the very least hooked up with him or been to his house it's like not strange to like if you're like a thot or like if you're like a hot girl and you're younger than me and you're like out at a bar it's not weird like lots of people go back to Drake's house he has like a party what the fuck this is thrilling yeah that's like a thing so like if I told this one story where I saw Drake on the street and

someone was like you just saw Drake on the street I'm like I actually think it's really easy to see drake in toronto he's like always at like three restaurants he's at like one of three restaurants and he has after parties and apparently if you know he's having an after like that atlanta episode i haven't seen sorry continue no i got like stressed i'm like oh no i don't that was just a throwaway thought okay well this young girl that i follow who i went out for dinner with here she's like one the younger toronto influencers and she's like just a chick about town she's like 25 she's like let's go out she wanted me to give her boy advice and i like show up like a grandmother i'm like

what's up first of all don't fuck drake oh she was telling me she's like if you just know that he's having an after party and you just go to his house there's security at the gate and they'll just let some of you like if you everybody will just go to his house and then that is hilarious oh my god yeah his house is massive like his house is a massive like it's in the bridal path which is an area of toronto that's like huge huge huge huge mansions how much do you think has been stolen from drake's house oh like the bling ring my friend like i don't know like i don't think he fucking notices if they do apparently he's got like he's got like a girl's bathroom in his house that has like pads and like la roche-posay like creams and face wash

he's got amenities it's like stocks like a hotel yeah this is like a fucking airbnb i bet he like is never even there that's so progressive that's not he probably has never even been and he's like there's a women's bathroom here i bet there he doesn't even know what's in his house do y'all remember the whole thing with the hot sauce in the condom with Drake. Oh, yeah. That theory. What? Okay, so it's lore. It's lore.

It's Drake lore. I don't know if it's true. It has to be true. I want it to be true. So, allegedly, when Drake has sex with someone, he puts hot sauce in the condom in case they try to take his semen. And this woman claimed

that her vagina was burning as a result of this. Hold on. Which side of the condom would the hot sauce go on? With the cum in it so it kills the semen. So after he takes the condom off Yeah, he puts hot sauce in it.

Before he throws it away. Oh, okay. So then how would her vagina be burning? Because if she takes the semen out to put it inside of her. She tried to get pregnant with his cum. And we don't know if this is true. We don't know if this woman exists.

It feels true. i want to believe i want to believe it happened to someone somewhere i mean that's that's genius of him then i would do the same thing absolutely not you're not scooping my cum out of a condom and inseminating yourself you i just want to be like thirsty girl drake's real baby mama wants nothing to do with him so does she you don't want this no oh i just feel like cool if i mean she doesn't want to be with him i just feel like if no one wants to be with you not even strippers what's going on here you know not even strippers jesus i just that is a good question and like no shade does no shade to strippers no no i know

like famous women well because i'm just like i i consider a stripper like a real person so it's like not even a real person wants to be with you like a right like as opposed to like a celebrity yeah yeah exactly strippers are just like hotter regular girls i feel like yeah i know you're like better skills explaining this well yes exactly athletic hot yeah hotter regular girls incredible core strength and a lot of money yeah yeah rich rich rich rich ladies richly so rich so if you're a rich lady why do you want to eat drake for sorry i'm a stripper i'm rich as fuck facts thanks drake i got my own money

okay ladies this has been a fucking slice i'm like sad i'm truly sad to be leaving i know i said this already so cut this repeated bullshit but uh should we do this again sometime absolutely we should thank you so much for taking the time Sam and talking to us when it's so late where you are this has been it's not that late it's 10 o'clock that's late it's late to be having a conversation you're holding your own so well

I would be like no more juice in the brain at this hour Amelia takes night Adderall legitimately because she just burns out yeah I mean like I yeah it doesn't make me awake it just makes it keeps my brain

working oh so so that's exactly what you need then you're taking what you need which is why it's not overcompensating yeah we're correcting yeah it really it does it does what it does the trick adderall for adhd yeah that's nice good for you yeah so she's got the day adderall and the night adderall thank you night adderall is crazy i've heard of that for like you know partying right i know i wish i could i would love to take adderall and be fun i just well just know that coke would be really disappointing to you it and it has been oh because adderall's better no it's just if you have adhd and you like try coke you're like what's the hype yeah it's just

like my heart it's really fast i'm just like this is it this isn't all that there is i know i've never done two minutes of excitement not going to it's overrated it's so boring also there's a lot of like uh fentanyl and cocaine right now so the coke market is not great i think it's not that i'm like doing coke yeah i feel like if there was a time to try coke it would have been like maybe 10 years ago for me i don't think it's like now i'm gonna start well you know if we come to toronto we can try some we're doing blow drake's house yeah we're doing blow at drake's mansion for sure guys i'd love nothing more than to do cocaine with you at drake's mansions two things i've they're gonna be like these bitches are over 30 get the fuck out of here they're gonna be like

these grandmothers sauntering into my house fake ids with younger ages on them oh wait i forgot we could just keep our own pictures because we look like 20 year olds because the 20 year olds look like us that's so true that's such a good point how old are you like 40 or like 19 like i actually have no idea so just do that just ask them uh what their dating life is like and that will really put it into perspective how old they are because if you're like i don't know i'm like talking to this guy we've been texting you're in your 20s sam do you want to share your handles so people know where they can find you sure yeah you can find me at my tiktok which is sam doll and then i have a podcast which is currently kind of inconsistent called doll space

and yeah that's that's it hell yeah hell yeah yeah thank you so so much again for taking the time this has been so fun the time is zoomed by you're just thank you ladies three gals chatting three gals chatting and whether you like it or not i will be back on this show this has been the fucking highlight of my week i will be back thank you the terminator Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.