The Hoely Hour - E159 The Switzerland of Sex

Episode Date: October 27, 2023

We’re back at it again with a new game that Amelia dreamt up, the financial benefit of having a supportive partner, and sex moves that porn lied to you about feeling good. Use this as your bible. Amen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

when i was when i was a kid i used to do this thing that my parents would call the german disc jockey when i was like 10 and i would say um hymen a lot because i didn't know what a hymen was and it would make it does sound very dead so fucking hard and i was always like damn this fucking hit so i'd always be like uber hymen and they would laugh and then i got older and i realized why it was funny oh i was funny welcome to the holy hour a podcast about sex relationships mental health and everything in between i'm amelia sanson and i'm liz ball follow us on instagram and tiktok at the holy hour i'm on instagram and tiktok at amelia sanson and i'm on instagram and tiktok at liz ball so hard you can also watch us on youtube or listen

ad free on patreon at patreon.com slash the holy hour check out our merch at theholyhour.com and email us your spicy stories at holy hour podcast at gmail.com hey hey liz's birthday was this weekend and now she's older than she was last time we talked i don't know what else to say about it um amelia sent me a picture of me from our photo shoot when we like took the pictures that are like the cover for this podcast and she said it's crazy how different you look from when we took these pictures i meant it as a compliment which i was like girl how are you gonna tell me that of course like in my mind i was like she's gonna understand this is a compliment because i meant it as a compliment yeah gave you no context well i knew you were because you're not the kind

of person to say something mean yeah that's true so i was like she means something else but how is she gonna tell me this you the day after my 32nd birthday you look so like it's your face just looks like so like much slim like so slimmed out and it wasn't even like it didn't need slimming but like you just like look yeah cheekbones look more defined i meant it as a i i think that well because i was thinking about it and i was like i think it's because i wasn't working out the same way that i am now that would make sense like probably a little less but then also like now i do like power lifting yeah so that's gonna be a little different makes a difference i don't know oh dude power lifters are fucking huge oh yeah did you see my neighbors oh yeah yes that was

what made me think of it again because they're both power lifters bonkers and you know what those are some great neighbors to have absolutely just some buff ass neighbors couldn't wait they could they could wait though they could wait someone yeah at uh liz's birthday frank got to witness um me getting chatted up by a gent oh my god yeah okay so i'll explain this um so at first frank and mr liz were sitting next to each other and some girls like were trying to flirt with frank and amelia is sitting across the table from from frank and she doesn't realize that these girls are trying to flirt with him and also she fucking loves that i i love when people hit on him you're like it's like that's my boyfriend yeah it's like yeah he's cute so good taste uh

she didn't realize that these girls were trying to flirt with him and then he was trying to like get out of it so he like turned to mr liz and he's like what do you think about that and he's like i am not at liberty to speak about this there's so much fucking cat fur on this wow you do have a lot of cat fur on yours because i've left i left this out you're doing some asmr recorded oh my god speaking of asmr i've been meaning to tell you this i one of my friends does asmr now on tiktok and so like i've been like watching her lives just to like support and be like hi like you're doing great you know now i'm getting a bunch of asmr videos on my for you page and like i get it like i get the hype at first like before like when asmr was really booming i was like what is what

is this it feels inherently sexual asmr does interesting like because like it's people like talking like this and oh that's the kind of asmr you mean doing like a lot of that and like like rubbing the microphone and stuff and i'm just like this is this supposed to be sexual because it feels sexual but i don't i don't it gives me i don't want to hear mouth sounds in my ears it gives me tingles I get it I like the ones where they're like cutting stuff oh wait did I finish telling you about oh no I didn't finish talking about cleaning your mic yeah so yeah go ahead I'll distract it because there's cat fur on my botch but uh so that exchange happened and then shortly after we're sitting like we had two tables and everyone's kind of bouncing around

between the tables and uh me Amelia and Frank were sitting at one table and Frank is like recapping this experience and Amelia's like wait she's flirting with you I didn't know that's what that was and she just seemed like stoked and then shortly after this guy next to us who just looked like a a newborn baby ben shapiro um yeah he was like 22 years old max but he definitely looked like 17 and a half um he turns to amelia and you you explain the exchange i i brought my water bottle um i don't know if we're ever going to show this part of the film but um it says there's a picture of ted cruz on it and it says this man ate my son underneath it but if you don't read it it looks like i'm just like a ted cruz stan which was my biggest fear i need to draw like a mustache

and horns on him or something i also i love that you brought this big ass water bottle to the bar i like to feel like i have hydration options at all time i mean that's smart thank you yeah i think so too but he was like do you like like ted cruz and i was like do you like ted cruz and he was like do you and I was like do I look like somebody that would like Ted Cruz he was like no I'm like good because I don't but you like Ted Cruz and he was like no Republicans don't even like Ted Cruz but in a way that seemed like it was a yes yeah you know what I mean um and then we just started talking about politics he was like talking about how he's like a moderate which it's because he's like a man in his mid-20s so he's a white man in his mid-20s my god um also

so while this exchange is happening I'm sitting next to Frank and he's like oh my god it's happening oh my god so he's like he we're all eavesdropping I'm trying to have a conversation while he's dropping at the same time and I just like I'm not able to and then um continue your your conversation recap I love this we have like two different perspectives going on this story but it was basically just us talking he was like um did you vote for Joe Biden and I was like yeah did you he said yeah but not because i wanted to and i'm and he's like are you a joe biden fan and i'm like nobody should be a fucking fan of any yeah that's not i'm not a fan of politics politicians they're just supposed to be shut up and do their job you know and speak when

they need to that's all that i could ever hope for and they're doing a little too much of uh pocketing money from shitty businesses and people yeah and not enough representing for the people who elected them but anyways regardless oh yeah they're having this exchange and then he was talking about politics yeah and like who they're gonna vote who he's voting for in 2024 and then frank jumps in and he says like i only caught some of this but he was like yeah i'm not in my country like you know i'm not allowed to vote here but like in my country everyone's just like burning american flags and shit and i'm sure he said a few other things like we're all laughing at y'all over here and like and then i turn and i'm like what the fuck are you saying right now

because I it was just like so insane and hilarious and then um then Frank starts like cracking up and then you're laughing and then I was laughing the whole time and then the kid realizes that Frank's fucking with him yeah he like goes out to like fist bump Frank and Frank was like oh sure yep but like he said I can't vote I don't have citizenship with so much like he he said it so genuinely that i was like for a sec i was like wait yeah like hang on and i was on shrooms like a little bit shrooms so everyone was at my birthday by the way one of the drink options was weird barbie for her barbie themed birthday and it was just drugs the ken the barbie the ken was a montucky and a shot of whiskey um because the beer can has a horse on it um that was mr liz's

idea brilliant he's brilliant genius um weird weird barbie was mushrooms because we found um while while mr liz was uh unpacking some old boxes he was like look at all these fucking mushrooms we're like we're putting these out for the birthday yeah no and they were they were a hit yeah everyone i suddenly everyone was like pupils are the size of saucers and i'm like did you take mushrooms and everyone's like yes I'm like are you having a good time yes I had such a different high than everyone I was like I think just the amount that I took and like the fact that I'm on SSRIs I just like wanted to be in a spa so bad I was just like oh I kept explaining to everyone where it was not like a spa it was not a spa but I kept explaining that to everyone like the exact

scenario I wanted to be in like I was like I just want to be like sitting in like a steam room that isn't too hot and like i want like a sound system playing like waterfall sounds and like a high frequency sound i feel bad that you were in like literally the opposite environment of that no it was i was having so much fun but i was just like can i tell you what i where i want to be right now just like to everyone who would listen and they're like that sounds so nice it was it was great i was feeling very zen which was good because i feel like i encountered a few people that were like i'm so high i like sat down on mr liz's lap and i was like how are like how's it going i know you're really high he was like oh it's good it's just like interesting observing

all the egos and then i was like what do you mean he's like oh like my egos like like one of me wants to be uh people to think i'm cool and then another like ego is like none of this shit matters and then another one but i was just like oh my god you're so funny oh wow that's pretty like that's that's an amazing experience to have at a bar like the one that we were at you know oh yeah like i've been on mushrooms in that bar and it is quite an experience let's just say that yeah yeah it's it's an interesting bar to be on shrooms at it really it really is um should we dump dump should we dump into one of our topics we can dump and jump let's just just dump dump and jump i'll dump it on you so i came up with a new game um where you know i love an amelia game so i really

wanted to to do three examples like three rounds of this game and i could only find two in the time that i was looking which will surprise you when i tell you what this is okay so i'm going to read to you the comments on an article and you're going to try to guess what the article is about oh my god i love this i love it too i really hope it hits like i'm expecting it to i love you know i love reading comments oh i know so that's the thing i went on facebook to look for comments and i don't know if they have new filters on there or what but everyone's being so fucking nice on facebook i was looking at like kardashian articles and taylor swift articles and everyone's like she's so beautiful i'm so proud of her i'm like what has happened to facebook maybe they got

uh some better uh monitoring or like flagging systems yeah for like hate speech probably not I mean they might have though Just based on the hate speech that I see on Instagram Every day I'm like I'm trying to figure out where the worst Comments are Me too

Honestly I think it's Facebook I thought it was Facebook until today Facebook is just like knuckle dragging stupid It's knuckle dragging boomers specifically Which is a special kind of dumb And that's more I think that's entertaining Absolutely they're so fun to read

Twitter is annoying as hell Everyone on Twitter has gotten so obnoxious. And then you like when you look at the comments, they put the people who pay for the blue checkmark at the very top. So you see a bunch of these dumb ass misogynistic, very problematic comments like just at the top of a post. Yeah. And I feel like it's way more than I've ever seen before. Oh, for sure. It sucks. I've seen way more violent posts. Oh, my God. Me too. Like videos like showing everything. yeah that's what we get with free speech y'all i miss how twitter used to be just dicking around and

sharing memes whenever i see a video i usually go into the replies to see context for the video but you don't get that really anymore because it's all people that have paid for blue checks being like you can my video yeah but i do see a lot of that where it's like yeah you're watching like a video or looking at a meme and then like it's a bunch of replies with other memes and it's like are they trying to get it to be reposted somewhere i don't know and it's a meme that is not related to the original thing at all it's very confusing it's so stupid and then instagram is just like a bunch of people who want to be mad about literally fucking nothing um which that is twitter in a way but twitter is way more like violent in my opinion yeah um instagram is just

a bunch of idiots um tiktok is a mix sometimes you see dumb ones but i think for the most part like if you're watching a funny video the comments on tiktok are gonna be really fucking funny yeah i know i love when you send me a video and you're like comments i'm like you gotta read these comments. So fucking funny. Okay. Are you ready? I'm ready. I'm ready for this. All right. I'm going to read you three comments from this article and you're going to tell me what I think the article is about. Yeah. Okay. Okay. First comment. Pretty sure any woman could do this if they chose to. Second comment. That's 300 minutes she'll never get back. Third comment. TBH she's hot and if it brings in a grand a day then anyone would be doing it um first i think it's is it

an article or is there also a video there's an article okay um i think it's about an influencer and she's like hey guys so a lot of people were asking me about this okay that's a good guess um here's how you can make an extra a thousand dollars oh what is it a week um she lost 300 minutes um and then the top one the top the first comment you read was pretty sure any woman could do this if they wanted to i'm gonna guess that she is selling her toenail clippings can you imagine if you were right that would be fucking insane it would be but i think it's going to be something um oh my god i don't even know do you want me to do i just read it too yes okay i'm so excited annie went viral recently for claiming the title of australia's most

sexually active woman suggesting she slept with over 300 people in a single year wait i saw this wait she made a thousand dollars so she's a sex worker now she's explained how she managed to hit the 300 mark, a number which most of us would believe is totally unachievable in the 365 days available. Annie is an OnlyFans creator and makes around $1,000 a day. She makes $1,000 a day from her content. She said she was utilizing her OnlyFans popularity to engage in collaborations and then used popular dating apps to meet new partners. She also has around eight regulars whom she meets up with each week annie said sex makes me feel good it's meant to make you feel good it's just fun and exciting it's messy the messier the sex the better i feel

empowered afterward good for her yeah hell yeah so i saw this article pop up on lad bible which fuck lad bible honestly but anyway that's for another day pop up on lad bible and i bookmarked it because i was like i bet you anything the comments on here are fucking heinous like people just being like fucking skank well most women could do this if they tried yeah these bitches aren't even trying to fuck 300 guys the comment that she's just those are 300 minutes she'll never get back made me laugh the oh that is a really fucking fucking hard oh my god but people for the most part i mean like a lot of the comments were like i don't understand all this all these all this negativity in this comment section and i like really couldn't find much but i was like

i wonder i just got me thinking where the comments just slut shaming a lot of them were slut shaming a lot of them were like um yeah like oh she's probably looser than uh like but you know whatever and then they're like people that were people who don't know how vaginas work yeah and then there were people commenting like this is what if she had sex with one person 300 times none of y'all would be saying anything about it that's fair which is so true yeah oh my god if if a single guy was like me my girlfriend have sex every fucking day they'd be like hell yeah brother yeah absolutely totally yeah i mean i i truly believe that men that don't want their partners to have a lot of previous sex partners are just bad at sex so they don't want to be compared i

think that's so bizarre yeah like i don't know what why does that bother you so much because like literally at the end of the day it's just because you're insecure yeah and if you can't get to that conclusion there's a lot of other shit you probably can't get to either absolutely like the clit anyways um damn uh conclusion she's probably a millionaire oh absolutely if she makes a thousand dollars a day for 300 days three hundred thousand dollars easily but then she also has only fans that she's making money off of and she's clearly seen a lot of success on her only fans as she claims so i'm gonna guess this bitch is swimming in money for sure women in cash and who gives a fuck what she's doing with her body that was another thing i was reading these

comments and i was like this affects these people zero percent my only concern is okay of her publicizing that she's a sex worker is irs gonna come after her now well i mean if you're charging australia so i think the laws are probably different because if you're charging people for to have sex she's making the money on only fans oh yeah yeah so she's not it's not she's not being paid to have sex oh okay that makes a lot more sense yeah wow yeah okay yeah she's up to her tits in cash yeah sure and i love that for her she's also super hot yeah she is very beautiful all right are you ready first comment shaking my head she's there to enforce the rules like judge it's not about

her feelings getting hurt maybe this is not the job for her okay smh she's there to enforce the rules like a judge it's not about her feelings getting hurt how did you memorize that whole thing i read it i'm trying to remember word for word i'm remembering the pieces yeah okay continue maybe this is not the job for her it's the last is the last part of that comment so a player bad mouthed for a call he disagreed with big deal the punishment doesn't fit the crime but whatever wait reread that one a player so a player bad mouthed for a call he disagreed with big deal the punishment doesn't fit the crime but whatever okay is that the only comment the only two those are the only two that i got that weren't too um revealing of what it could be

I'm going to guess that this is about a man child tennis player having a fit that the ref like made a call and he disagreed with it and was like a fucking asshole to her. And she was just like, I'm a human. That was a really good guess. OK, I'm excited to hear what it actually is. A German female referee gave a red card to Turkish player Karim Demirbay. player told her quote you should stick to the kitchen unquote the referee wrote that in her report and fifa suspended him for five matches and as part of his suspension he'll officiate one woman football match too he's gonna officiate why would they want him to do that yeah that

doesn't teach him anything no i mean he's gonna be a misogynistic prick during that too so but yeah i mean the comments on this i could there weren't other ones i could screenshot because they were all like so obvious to give it away but like you i'm gonna send you this it's heinous what was going on in this comment section i mean and i'm sure to be a ref yeah for these things uh-huh you gotta be you gotta know your shit totally and have like really thick skin but like you know it's a good opportunity to teach someone a lesson i also don't think that well in in in that first comment that you read to me doesn't make sense then no that she's there to inform she's it doesn't matter but where it's not about her feelings getting hurt maybe this isn't a job for

her where in the whole thing does it even say her feelings were hurt they don't but i mean this man isaac clearly thinks that he's assuming her feelings were hurt because his feelings would be hurt um i don't think her feelings were hurt as much as she's probably just like fuck this guy yeah absolutely i would do the fucking same i don't give a fuck what this guy says about me but it's like can i be like fuck you i'm the one calling it yeah and then he just got punished she wrote it in her report and he got punished for it and he's probably fucking fine on monday you know five games is like he's probably gonna go to like fiji or something you know take a little vacay that's annoying that's super annoying that comment annoys me now do you

hear that that sound right that means that summer's officially here it means that grown adults just sprint into the street for a frozen dessert shaped like a cartoon but this summer mint mobile has a better treat every plan including unlimited is $15 a month and unlike ice cream it won't drip down your wrist or look nothing like the picture does anyone have any cash give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch upfront payment of $45 for three months $90 for six months or $180 for 12 month plan required $15 per month equivalent taxes and fees extra new customer offer for initial plan term only greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy see terms which speaking of men's feelings getting hurt this was another thing I wanted to talk about how dramatic men are like

yeah like the man flu yeah the man flu the whole thing of like you know when you like like my ex was this way you i would tell him like oh you did this thing that hurt my feelings and you'd be like well i'm the i'm the fucking worst i'm the worst boyfriend ever i i'm i'm so i guess i'll just never talk again i have something to say how much you want to bet his mom fucking does that oh easily his mom's like oh so then i'm a terrible mother oh for sure for sure such a bad life because i'm such a bad mom so that's the only way he knows how to like that's so fucking true convey that he's upset that you're upset but this is like a common thing that like oh yeah i know so many dudes that do that but it's just a way to get out of any sort of like being faced with like the consequences of

their actions just being like well i guess i'll go kill myself like hold on like nope i'm just talking about my i'm just talking about my feelings i feel lucky that i haven't dated anyone like that bless your heart but i have dated guys who cry so and that throws me off so when i'm like confronting them about something they'll just start crying and then I'm not used to seeing that at all yeah I've never seen my dad show any emotion other than like his two feelings are happiness and anger there's like no in between I've never seen my dad sad so I just like when a man is crying and it's a man that i'm in a romantic relationship with i'm like uh right oh fuck uh yeah it is difficult to deal with we we can figure this out um i'm wrong that yeah

that's the thing and i think because men too often weaponize their tears that's why so many of them think that we're weaponizing our tears when we cry oh yeah when it's like that is such a good point that's always their first thing that they jump to they're like well you're fucking manipulating me and it's like well i'm sad and it's because they're doing that shit yeah oh my god i didn't even realize that brain blast wow anyway now i'm thinking about uh my i i feel like he's my most annoying ex when we would get into a disagreement i can hear like the cadence of his voice in my head where he'd be like you know what i mean absolutely yeah like very toddler petulant child i sound like a sim that's so annoying thanks for playing that game i'm i'm

glad that it worked you know now i know i'll find other articles and other comment sections and that is really good i love that thank you i love the like myself guess guess the article based on the comments but guess what this is about thank you just remembered i watched this on tiktok oh my god yes um i watched it from your rich bff on tiktok um oh wait what's her what's her name i'm gonna uh vivian she follows me on tiktok i love her she's so great we should have her on oh yeah she can tell us how to money yeah i love i don't i need to know how to money well statistically women are under educated on money and like saving money and things like that because well we weren't allowed to have money money or bank accounts yeah or jobs for a very

long time yeah women didn't have their own bank accounts until the 70s right it was either the 60s or the 70s i think it was 64 i'm gonna fact check you well because i was just remembering i was like um i can't remember if it it was very close to 74 74 okay i was off by a decade um anyways she sorry technically women won the right to open a bank account in the 60s so you were right um but many banks still refuse to let women do so without a signature from their husbands so you were right what the fuck that's some dumb shit um so she stitches this video uh where this woman is she's sharing um practicing for the rockettes audition in 2004 with my awful ex-husband so she does her little audition and then he's like that's it but like fucking sucks and he's

like being rude to her and um vivian's like if your man is not showing up to support you like drake at every sporting event he's ever been to like you need a new man but she explains that um with when you have a more supportive spouse your income is higher like you're more likely to succeed at work and get better jobs and get paid more if you have a supportive partner damn and that makes a lot of sense um so she was basically saying if you have an unsupportive partner they're like robbing you of your money because um you're you're likely to make up to four thousand dollars more a year with a supportive partner damn don't tell the men that because they're gonna keep being dicks so that they keep being the breadwinner i mean if a man's a dick to me i'm not gonna like

be supportive of him yeah if a man's a dick to me i'm gonna castrate him no if anything men should be so supportive of the women that they're dating that we can just let them fulfill like their sugar mama dreams yeah you know yeah i love that for them let me take care of you no no no it really does make so much sense so that it would like enable like women to want to to to like do better because i've realized since i've been dating frank like i like push myself a little bit more because i'm like excited to tell them exciting shit you know like there's like that like fun new like oh i have somebody to share this with that's so true like if you have if you are dating someone supportive you're like excited to tell them about your wins yeah and stuff yeah that's so true

that's such a good point thanks damn i got two that's such a good points from liz this episode so far well when i was watching this i was immediately thinking of frank because of how he's just like yeah he literally shows up to everything in your life like drake at a sporting event he's so excited front row big thumb finger number one fan he's gonna cry when he listens to this part he's gonna text me and say i cried see he's there he is supporting me like drake at every sporting event and i was when i when she started saying that sentence too it she was like if your man doesn't show up to your life like drake i was like uh yeah where are you going with this suddenly nice to women right no just to lebron james this is conflicting information based on

what i said last week about drake well no it's just for other men um but i thought that was a really interesting factoid so fellas you need to be cheering on the women in your life because that helps them make more money and who who doesn't want a little bit more cash you know i do who doesn't want a little more cash yeah i do yeah i was just making sure i wasn't answering a double negative or something you know what i mean i was like wait did i say a double backed into a fucking trap there stumbled across this article that's uh women are sharing the sex moves they wish men didn't copy from porn and there are no lies detected and i thought it would be fun to go through them i cannot wait to hear this i bet i bet i've thought about

maybe all of these from time to time it's really it really is a an epidemic like men like grapes i haven't talked about grapes in a very long time he grapes would like throw me around he had me like changing positions every like 10 seconds i'm not even kidding and then he would like he would like throw me into the position like oh i forgot you guys had sex so porny so porny and it's just like every 10 seconds that's how it felt like there was like right when we'd like get into the position he would change it and i was like that's probably because he is watching porn and skipping through am i wrong am i wrong skipping through the porn to get to it and then now they have the little markers where it says like missionary do they

doggy yeah you haven't seen that on porn hub yeah no they've had that for a while fuck um it's not on every video well i also love the context so i wonder if ai is taking over that i don't know i wonder if they had those markers themselves like the creators maybe anyways i bet he's doing that or i bet he's like switching between videos like real quick if he's like i need to watch something else now that's so funny now he just thinks sex is that way because fast forwarding through so much that is so fucking funny um okay are you ready uh-huh the first one is thinking that we orgasm from two minutes of penetration alone real have you experienced that no dudes that are like two pump chumps and then they're like

did you come it's like what do you know what coming is and i would just say yes because i was like this isn't going anywhere oh i would always say no i know you're better than me in this in this aspect like i i've not lied about an orgasm for a very long time but it was i was habitual for a while i think that's insane yeah but it was like because of it was it was men like that where i was just like they don't give a fuck it reminds me of like season one of euphoria when cat was cool before like sam levinson decided to like fuck up the best storyline in the whole show yeah but uh she like gets done like hooking up with a guy and he's like did you did you come and then she's like no and then she just walks away I was like bad I love that energy bad bitch

energy yes um two if there's anything we should agree on it's the lack of moaning I really don't get how men can be so silent but when they are it aren't it's the biggest turn on yeah absolutely I don't be quiet no please let me hear how good you feel I don't I don't necessarily want it to be loud no but like we have neighbors but i think they think that it's like feminine to moan that would make sense because porn is so like yeah yeah just let it well and i can understand why it feels awkward to make sound because i used to be just like completely silent um but i think like just like losing your inhibition in the moment with someone that you trust like don't overthink it you know if if if you got to make some noise it's like when you're eating something that tastes

good yeah it's like give me a but during sex oh yeah oh yeah fucking good ass fucking chicken wait have you seen the guy it's like a video of this guy like i don't know if it's like a college cooking show but he's like so good i don't know i just i've only seen that clip but anytime we are eating something that's delicious we go that's so funny it's in the throat that is so funny three i really don't understand the appeal of dick slapping help me understand i also don't understand it you don't either i remember when that happened to one of my friends in college we were like dude i've no i've gotten hit in the face with a dick so many times yeah or like like slapping it on my leg i'm like why am i supposed to feel a type of

way i don't know does it feel good to them no it must not there's like there's no way we should ask we need to do some field research okay people with penises let us know yeah about dick slapping like how why why dudes love slapping their dick on my tongue that's happened a lot in the past that's i've never experienced that if this is starting to feel like a me problem i don't think it's what's wrong with you i think that um you're just less likely to be like what the fuck are you doing that's true i do i am i enable this behavior i know that's true um four i once had a guy use his tongue to rapidly flick my nipple like a deranged lizard on steroids i might not that is really weird but i might not hate it yeah but i mean i don't know it

i think i would think it's a little weird it would be you would have to close your eyes yeah like seeing that from that angle at this point just like just just like pinch it a little bit i guess like what are you doing yeah do that downstairs yeah we don't need it upstairs no that's a good point five what kind of porn are they watching that makes them think fingering is so aggressive take it easy yeah oh my god it's like what are you trying to do down there yeah that's so fucking real they get their whole like arm involved yeah no you don't need to do that it's like what and but yeah and in porn there's just so much that's true there's a lot of arm a lot of arm and a lot of squirting you don't need to do this isn't a bicep tricep workout

baby no this is all in the this is all in the wrist and on the palm on the wrist maybe some people like it that would hurt that would hurt like a bitch yeah especially if your nails aren't short and if you if they have like the like hangnail like the dryness on their hands you know i'm right because it's all scratchy yeah yeah no i know you're it's gross yeah um i think a pro tip is to um we've talked about this it's like the flicking almost yeah a little come here motion but not like curling not like curling come here like like like a little push like yeah you just yeah google it google it google's free google how to finger someone yeah do it in a private browser though because you're gonna get some ads that's true um going faster when you tell them

something feels good slash you're gonna come oh my god we were just talking about just talking about this it's true don't change a goddamn thing keep up the same pace yeah when you're like i'm about to come just just keep doing the thing that you're doing yeah i hate when they do they're it's like well i haven't tried my cool thing yet and then they fucking do the cool thing that isn't and then you just decline and then you're like oh i'm embarrassed for you and now the secondhand embarrassment is just making me want this to stop yep so i can masturbate while you're in the bathroom damn that's so true that's so sad um seven choking without asking just because it's a porn trend doesn't mean we all want to be surprised asphyxiated

oh my god true that's insane i mean that's a that's a consent thing yeah unless that is like explicitly talked about between you yeah i don't right that's a big no-no just check just doesn't hurt to just check in um excessive dirty talk it just feels like narration to me you know i think some people actually like it like because there are like like actually like narrative porn videos yeah that is like that yeah that's that's true you know so i don't know i think that's also one of those things where it's like okay are you doing this because you think that's what i want or are you doing this because you like it right because if you're if they're doing it because they enjoy it cool let's like get on the same page about that but like if she hates that you don't need

to do that no if you feel like you need to say something why don't you guys like go over a few different lines yeah get a little script worked out yeah do a little just do a little rehearse improvise see what feels right have fun with it oh my god this is such a common one asking what's the biggest dick i've ever had why do you care this ain't a dick measuring contest i actually don't think i've ever been asked that by someone that like i've hooked up with there i'm i'm just gonna leave have you ever seen a dick as big as mine like what's the biggest dick you've ever seen it's like i don't know i want you to say sitting here and looking at yours can you imagine a dick bigger than yours doesn't fucking exist that's what they want you

to say oh my god i've never seen any penis oh my god only yours daddy yeah it's like another leg it's so big oh wow also like i i just i need everyone to understand that like having a big dick like doesn't make sex better yeah i think on a maybe for some people but for me like i know that my g-spot is not very high up so yeah my sometimes my cervix is real low oh yeah and that oh yeah and that shit hurts it's not a pleasant experience i yeah if you've ever had a really big dick and you're not a big person it's not fun no it's not about the size of the boat it's about the motion of the ocean honestly it really is and sometimes it's about the size of the boat if the if the boat is like a little dinghy that goes to the actual boat

then we're gonna need some friends involved yeah and you know what even if you have like the perfect sized boat sometimes we need some friends involved yeah i guess i always need a friend involved i love just a little extra paddle you know yeah yeah a motor reserve just full of analogies emergency or emergency or um some of these i very strongly disagree with so i'm skipping through some of them pulling my hair like the freaking reins on an irritable horse kills the mood for me guys in porn hold on to the hair because it keeps it out of the woman's face for the camera I didn't know that when you yank my head back like you're about to waterboard me I won't enjoy anything after and you'll owe me a chiropractor for a month yeah I think depending

on the situation like if you're giving someone head and they like are grabbing your hair it really limits your neck motion absolutely and and it just makes the it's like I'm gonna get a kink in my neck if you like keep holding on to my hair this tight right like I'm 30 like we're not fucking around with my joint health if you just feel like you need to be holding on to something feel free to like hold some of it but like if you're holding it at the root and not letting loose at all like yeah you're not gonna be receiving the best head that i can provide yeah absolutely maybe you're ruining this experience if you need to be grabbing what if they like grabbed your face i think that would be hot um during uh not like hard but like i don't

know during head or during sex if they're if uh i guess both uh yeah yeah during sex i feel like that's more like i guess it yeah it depends on the position too totally just just be conscientious of the hair grabbing yeah and what you're doing because i just would like prefer to have some neck mobility yeah and like you know sometimes i got a pretty strong scalp and sometimes people go a little over the top yeah just like a little tug yeah do a little little tug at the back at the root yeah just to show me who's boss show me who's boss and finally spreading our butt cheeks apart while doing doggy reverse cowgirl do you want me to fart bro i think about this all the time like i if i've had me and frank call it like if one of us is like if he's if he asks if like

i'm in the mood to have sex and i just shit a lot that day i'll be like i had a big poopy butt day because i think all the time about there just being a straight shot directly into my butthole poopy butt day that's hilarious i fucking love that so like i don't want i just i don't i don't want to anybody looking at my asshole i just i don't need all that air in my butt you know i'm i'm not like i'm gassy enough i just don't need uh what's it called when you have a when you spray shit in your butthole today no oh like a medical thing enema oh yeah i don't need an air enema oh you know that's how i feel and i feel like it's just also letting more air into my vagina which then will make queefing happen and queefing is so awkward and kind of

funny but i don't want to be doing it i don't want this fart noise to be coming out of me right now because you just all you do is move and it's like okay i was i don't remember if i was talking about this with you or who i heard talking about it i mean we've talked about a bit why should we be embarrassed about like they're the ones that did it yeah you know what i mean and i like it's not necessarily a bad thing either no it's a neutral thing but it's just like in i don't want someone to think i'm farting right is the thing and even though that's true that's the difference a normal man does not give a shit a normal person doesn't care yeah um so i think that even though they don't care it doesn't mean like i'm not embarrassed you know yeah but

it's a weird thing to get over i you could just feel that air bubble coming out like if i was the person in that was doing the penetrating and somebody queefed i'd be like oh sorry because that's your fault you're sticking this thing into this hole and it's creating a sound i didn't do shit this is my fucking shit it's not my fault you know yeah i think it's well because i'm also like justice you're just getting some air it's kind of like if you're drinking really fast and you swallow an air bubble that's the drink that's kind of how it is yeah it's fuck that drink justice for holes i in general i think queefing is a neutral experience it's like a neutral thing that happens it's the switzerland of sex yeah it's not it's neither bad nor good it doesn't

indicate anything specific other than yeah when you're putting it in you got some air in there yeah yeah and it has to come out somehow yeah the only way that's the only way out fuck that's so true yeah where else is it gonna go yeah it can't go up name anything that's gone up from the bottom and then then come out your mouth oh it comes out of your mouth maybe if you boot travels that what'd you say like butt shots yeah eventually it might make you throw up does that count yeah i don't know put a suppository of vodka in your butt it's insane to me that some people do shit like that yeah you can die really easily that way i believe it a direct shot to the blood system don't do it or someone saying like this this also feels like war it feels like

an old wives tale of like girls putting vodka soaked tampons inside of them so they get drunk faster like I'm not saying it's never happened because it's that's just the rule of life if you can think of it it exists and something that is this accessible has definitely happened but I don't think it's common I might have told this story on the podcast a friend of mine was going to a festival in vegas and was trying to sneak drugs into the festival so they put like a bag of molly into their vagina to sneak into the festival and then the bag opened in their vagina and they were like am i gonna get high like what what's gonna happen and they were fine for a while and then it hit them and they were i was like oh yeah you're

gonna get rolling balls but that's like that's awful so did all of the molly dissolve in her vagina it was just it was just like her portion of it like it was her drugs but yeah she got it that would scare me i still was all of it yeah all of the molly dissolved in her yeah like the whole point like was there was nothing left in the bag oh my god yeah oh my god i'd be like squatting digging in there oh no i'm sure she did i would be panicking i'm sure that's happened to a lot of people i'm sure it has and i think my biggest concern would be like getting a like an infection yeah like am i gonna get a yeast infection from this that could not be good for the ph no no absolutely not that would totally throw off your ph

that it just sounds itchy yeah and i don't want to be high on molly and have an itchy vagina no being itchy down there is so uncomfortable it really is and yeast infection itch never gets never feels better yeast infection itch is you could scratch all day really painful it's so painful it well no scratching makes it worse scratching makes it worse or it doesn't affect it at all it's just one of those things that when you have it you know yeah you know it's a yeast infection the second you have it you're like this is deeply uncomfortable and somehow painful but also not you know outside of being so in love this is like the best part of being in a relationship is not having all these different sexual partners because every single time I would have sex with

someone new I would get a yeast infection every single time yeah that's so interesting because it was like it was like an environment ph yeah that was like being introduced that my body wasn't used to and i would every time i've probably had as many yeast infections as i've had sexual partners wow that's so interesting yeah it's not cute huh well congratulations on no longer having yeast infections thank you i'd like to first thank i feel like i should shake your hand thank you i'm proud of you thanks liz that means a lot you know this is i'm giving you the key to the city for having so many yeast infections in the past and well for overcoming them yeah overcoming the yeast infection getting over the hump yeah zing all right we do a lot of high

fives here oh wow we have a lot to high five about we really do okay well anyway thank you so much for listening we love you our children we got it in the end that was pretty good actually that felt good from the jump we next next week we'll come back with more energy more zest a new pizzazz fucking give them the old razzle dazzle yeah we're gonna razzle dazzle the fuck out of you and you'll only know that if you made it to the very end if you're still listening right now so fucking we're gonna razzle and dazzle the fuck out of you strap up i i now i i'm setting myself up wear protection gotta live up to this well i'm fucking i'll start stretching now bye bye like well now how do we end it

Oh, yeah.